Session 106 - Get Witch or Die Tryin'

Witch battle! Spells everywhere! People falling into pus! What a world.
Cliffhanger ending leaves the party in a precarious position, what with several people falling into the pus-and-goblin soup that is the pus water these days.

See you all next time!


Session 106 - Get Witch or Die Tryin'

Campaign Date:

Sunday, 14 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Capricorn

Enemies Defeated:

- 13 grey-skinned goblins, tumbled from scaffolding by various means (325 exp)

- A purple blob, easily despatched on the fly (100 exp)
Total: 425 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- None!

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Discovered the ceiling scaffolding in the witch cave (50 exp)

Total: 50 exp
New Backstory:- Cranky Jim did some regrettable things in order to leave the mines, but if he could go back, he'd do it all again. (Re-take an action and reroll any associated rolls once per session)
- Sophia tried to resurrect her family, egged on by her Necromancer mentor. It went horribly wrong and they fled. (+1 Dex)
- Stabbington charmed his way into dodgy deals, his fine clothing drawing the eyes of all who saw him. (+1 to reaction rolls when you're wearing clean, stylish clothing)
- Jain Doe suspects her brothers caused the forge explosion to ruin her business and life. In fact, they've been behind every bad thing that happened to her. Every one! She was set up! (half damage from traps set off by others)
- Zan, baking under the hot sun as punishment for his religious crimes, got sick of it, untied himself, and just walked off to a life of adventure. (If you take a cowardly option that likely harms others, gain +1 to your next roll)

Events:
- Something I forgot last time - the virgin sword got stabbed into the diseased ovum and sucked all its life force out. The virgin sword is super full and has a hard lump of fleshy remains stuck around the middle. (50 exp)
- The gang peer down the hole from the ovum room. Eleyn crawls down like a horrible spider, of course, and finds an oily smelling room with slimes rippling on the ceiling (50 exp)
- She notes their locations so that nobody walks under them, then Zan ropes down considerably less stealthily. (50 exp)
- Orange light glows from the slimes and fireballs drop from above! It's the orange blob oil room! Fuck! (50 exp)
- Zan runs, oil and fire everywhere, soon running out to a large cavern where he stops drops and rolls. (50 exp)
- Seeing the fireball surging up the shaft and the rope burnt to a crisp, those at the top debate what to do. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim, Jumurak, Sophia, POWERMAN! and Guido split off into a B-Team and head down to the witch cavern from the other direction. (50 exp)
- Eleyn, knowing she's soul-anchored upstairs, chucks her stuff into a pile under the hole and throws herself into the fire. The pain shuts off and she is, mercifully, in the fresh ovum. Ever more monstrous, she (it?) may now only feed upon carrion. (50 exp)

- The B-Team, making a lot of noise in their rush to get to the witch cavern, run into a violet blob of some description. It's killed shockingly easily. (50 exp)
- Some ovipositior-mouthed hulk goblins wander over to Zan to see if he's ok. They seem nice. Zan is scorched, but fine. (50 exp)
- The A-team draw some runes, courtesy of Jain, and a stream of water pours onto the fire from above. They climb down with a spare rope. (50 exp)
- The B-Team make it through the secret door and see Zan on the other shore. They wave. (50 exp)
- The A-Team join Zan in the main cavern, but not before a fire blob they missed on the ceiling fireballs them. Teehee. The groups stare at each other across the pus water. (50 exp)
- Eleyn and Rat LeBlanc climb the walls, hoping to get to a witch perch. They discover that there's a bunch of crude scaffolding up there in the dark... and a heap of goblins whispering and lying in wait. (50 exp)
- Too late for them though. A couple of explosion beams from below and an entire stalactite is blasted from the ceiling, bringing a ton of scaffolding down with it and sending goblins plunging into the pus water! (50 exp)
- The wallcrawlers scurry across the ceiling, seeing goblins throwing down ropes and trying to save their friends. The big goblins near Zan try to help too. It's a goblinitarian disaster zone. (50 exp)
- Guido strides into the pus water and... suddenly disappears below the surface. Disaster! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc sends some swarms scurrying up the wall and along the remaining scaffolding, devouring the goblins who are trying to save their friends. (50 exp)
- Jumurak uppercuts Sophia towards the ceiling on her side, she zooms up with Goblinfucker in her hands and bisects a goblin! She chucks a rope down for the others and Jim climbs up. (50 exp)
- All is going well... until a whole flock of harpy bitches turns up. "Say WHAAAAT" from everyone. "It's a mirror image for sure" says Rat LeBlanc. (50 exp)
- Crossbow bolts and ghost beams and and all sorts fly towards the harpy, but if they don't miss they hit a copy. (50 exp)
- The witches blast a stinking cloud of choking gas towards Sophia and Cranky Jim. Jim clings on for a while before falling, Sophia falls to but is... hurrah! Caught by Guido's hands thrusting up from the water! (50 exp)

- The witch(es) swoop from her/their perch and zooms across the room to snatch Zan as he reloads his crossbow. Screeching and laughing, she drops him into the pus water. (50 exp)
- It's chaos now. But time is up. Cliffhanger! (50 exp)

Total: 1200 exp

Misc:- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Kill it with Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Backstory - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- I Know This Place bonus (Cranky Jim - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- An Hero bonus (Eleyn - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Eleyn - 500 exp)

Total: 400 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, knew her death was near so threw herself into the flames.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60969 (Level up at 64000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 42533 (Level up at 72000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36581 (Level up at 70400)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 30589 (Level up at 56000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 22318 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 18660 (Level up at 36000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 18509 (Level up at 35200)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 16568 (Level up at 24000)

Absent or Retired:
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 105 - Birthday Busters

I'm literally sending this on the bus to the session so I think it's the latest ever.
See you all soon!

And thanks for the birthday everything! I had a blast!

See you soooooon

Session 105 - Birthday Busters

Campaign Date:

Wednesday, 10 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Capricorn

Enemies Defeated:

- 11 gold babies, slaughtered (275 exp)
- A gold eater, punched through a wall then ripped apart (250 exp)
- Bongo the Hobgoblin, intimidatingly befriended (100 exp)

Total: 625 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- A bunch of goldbaby vomit (250 exp)
- 4 brass rods inscribed with strange inscriptions
- A small putty-filled bag of gold bits (100 exp)
- Gold eater corpse (7500 exp)

Total: 7850 exp

Exploration:
- 3 more dungeon areas explored (60 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)

Total: 110 exp
New Backstory:- Eleyn once attempted to steal the ship of the nascent Witch-Pirate of Guernsey. She snuck on board but was saved by Nora, getting away just in time. (+1 Sleight of Hand)
- Rat LeBlanc was embarrassed in front of everyone when he was heckled during a performance of Ratmio and Shrewliet. He finished the scene regardless. (+1 Charisma)
- Jumurak fled his town on the hottest day of the year after the Men of the Rooves deposed the governor, pursued by the Law. He fled across the rooftops and escaped. (+1 Constitution)
- Zan was punished for his pranks by being mock-crucified under the burning sun with no food or water. (+1 Constitution)

Events:
- Charmington breaks through the collapsed tunnel and pale pink light shines through! The party looks through to see a new flesh sac inside! (50 exp)
- Also inside, a bunch of the gold baby men who come to investigate. Eleyn squicky-spider-crawls through before they get close and hides in a hole in the ground. (50 exp)
- From inside she can see that there's an old looking goblin dude tending to plants growing in piles of dirt and flesh. Also, the flesh sac has got a few arms half-buried inside, pierced by brass rods. (50 exp)
- The gold babies start coming through the gap. One sees Sophia and vomits gold glop on her. She staggers away. (50 exp)
- Eleyn bursts out of the hole and grabs the old man Hobgoblin, wrestling him into the hole as quietly as possible. (50 exp)
- The gold babies continue coming in, but the gold vomit has attracted a gold eater! Oh no! (50 exp)
- It bursts out of the wall and slashes at the gold-covered Sophia with jagged claws! She falls, unconscious and bleeding profusely! (50 exp)
- Jumurak turns and flash-punches the gold eater backwards! It slams through the wall and out the other side, wailing. (50 exp)
- Eleyn explores down the hole with the hobgoblin on her back. She gets down to an oily-smelly slippery layer before coming back up. (50 exp)
- Those not killing gold babies at the front put a bunch of gold on the ground and stand around it weapons drawn, hoping to ambush the gold eater. (50 exp)
- Eleyn begins firing her pistols at the gold babies from the hole, not particularly accurately. The combination of her attacks and the face-ripping power of Guido causes the gold babies to retreat though! (50 exp)
- The gold eater erupts from the ground in front of Guido, slurping up gold vomit! Guido just picks it up and breaks it over one bony knee due to a maximum d30 roll for damage. Holy shit. (50 exp)
- With the enemies dead or surrendering, the hobgoblin is questioned. His name is Bongo and he loves the Mistress. He's up here making goblins and guarding the ovum. (50 exp)
- The brass rods impaled in the ovum are inspected, and Sophia discovers they are inscribed with a spell called Soul Anchor which forces a soul to return here on death. (50 exp)
- Bongo begs them to leave his arm inside. They do, and he is extremely grateful. They take his little bag of gold bits though. (50 exp)
- The other brass rods are removed and the arms are surgically removed, then they are all stuck into the damaged ovum. Take that, witch creature! (50 exp)
- Suddenly a bunch of people turn up with my "cake" which is a bottle of whiskey and we all go to play with Andy's VR kit! (50 exp)Total: 850 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Backstoryers - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Sophia - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Jumurak, Cranky Jim, Rat LeBlanc, Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (500 exp - Cranky Jim)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (500 exp - Cranky Jim)
Total: 400 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, died suddenly and unexpectedly when her heart shot straight out of her chest after passing between some organ pillars.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 42066 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 30112 (Level up at 56000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 21251 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 18193 (Level up at 36000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 1 spell/day! +1 level 3 spell/day! +free spell!
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 17942 (Level up at 35200)+1d10 HP! +lorebond! James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 16201 (Level up at 24000)

Absent or Retired:
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 104 - Apoocalypse Now

A thrillingly scatological session to be sure, with an excellent aside of accidental attempted murder. Is it even murder if you kill a ratman or is that just animal cruelty?

Next session the Mad Hatter is, horrifically, booked out! Oh no!
Andy / Cranky Jim has nobly offered up his house as a venue, so it'll be at his place next week. I won't post the full address here because it's his actual home, but it's near Tottenham Court Road.
Send me an email if you want to come so I can let him know numbers!

In summary -
No Mad Hatter next week 13th September
Send me an email to RSVP for Andy's place

This week we have ART from Tom and also a not-art-but-totally-counts Facebook page for Tomb Busters also from Tom, to the continued chagrin of Stabbington Shanks.

Session 104 - Apoocalypse Now

Campaign Date:

Friday, 5 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Una, a Specialist who is a former (and current?) cultist, good at identifying potions and things as a result.

Enemies Defeated:

- A shapeshifting slime monster, befriended to within an inch of its life (75 exp)
- Two long-mouthed curse monsters, ripped to bits (100 exp)

Total: 175 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- 416 gold in ooze jar (20800 exp)
- Potion #223
- Potion #153
- Scroll #113
- A lens that shows secret doors when looked through.
- A vial of holy water
- A heart from a flesh pillar

Total: 20800 exp

Exploration:
- 7 more dungeon areas explored (140 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)
- First party to visit the (miniature) village of Amlen (200 exp)

Total: 390 exp
New Backstory:- Eleyn was washed away during a family trip to Guernsey, back in the good old days before the Witch Pirate sailed the channel. She was saved by her beloved sister Nora but has feared the open water ever since. (+2 to saves when nowhere near open water)

Events:
- The group are joined in the mushroom house by Una who's been wandering around in here for a while. They join the party. (50 exp)
- First things first, they head over to the rebirthing chamber and block the main way out and put some traps and stuff on the floor to prevent the uninitiated from leaving easily. (50 exp)
- Jumurak, noticing the symmetry of the first dungeon level, decides to check out the section of wall symmetrically opposite the entry to the rebirth room. Score! A secret door! (50 exp)
- Inside is what appears to be a previous group's equivalent of the mushroom house, now abandoned. Notable are a ten foot pole, a jar of fart putty-esque clear slime with gold coins in it, and some potions and scrolls under some cloaks. (50 exp)
- After a false start down the wrong stairs, the group crosses the acid lake and continues down to level 3. OoooOOOoOOooo. (50 exp)
- Eleyn sneaks ahead in the dark, moving between some fleshy pillars and... her heart jumps out of her chest! Literally! She dies, incredibly surprised, but not before Sophia manages to get her Last Breath in a vial. (50 exp)
- A rat is sent between the pillars and its heart goes flying a full 10 foot. It dies. (50 exp)
- Guido is sent through and... he's totally ok! Guido rips the shit out of the flesh pillars and they are disabled. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc decides to get some rat mapping done, sending a buncd ahead to scout things out. Turns out there's a lot for rats to love ahead. (50 exp)
- Eleyn turns up with bug eyes and night vision and the ability to evaluate gems on sight. Basically, the perfect assassin. But on the other hand she's a fucking horrorshow. (50 exp)
- The rat map is inspected, three exits go from the next room. The group enter and Rat LeBlanc goes to check out the room the rats really loved the look of. Turns out it's absolutely loaded with poo. Classic. (50 exp)
- LeBlanc travels up another passage, it turns and opens into a small room with a hole in the middle. Down the hole is a whole load of poo. (50 exp)
- He drops a rat down to investigate, and it reports that there's a lot of poo and a lot of people in the next room after that! (50 exp)
- It doesn't click for Rat LeBlanc and he becomes worried about all the people down there. Eventually he realises it's the rest of the group and goes "OOOoooooh!" as though it's a big twist even though everybody else figured it out immediately. (50 exp)
- Eleyn and Rat LeBlanc decide to dive into the poo and get into the room beyond it, since a rat reported there was someone in there with a robe with a mace. (50 exp)
- The others go beyond the poo hole room and see a large chamber whose floor is made up of a whole lot of goopy slushy dark gunk. (50 exp)
- The pair of poo divers burst out in a spray of stank. Both are horrible and monstrous due to all their mutations, and the girl in the robes with the mace is all WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK (50 exp)
- LeBlanc goes in for the kill for reasons unknown, the girl screams for help... then transforms into a blobby tentacle monster. Good thinking, ratman. (50 exp)
- Eleyn tries to help with her pistols, shooting Ratman in the back and dropping him immediately. Oops. (50 exp)
- Followup attack! Eleyn unsheathes the childbone dagger and the virgin blade! And chucks them at the unconscious ratman! He's fucked! (50 exp)
- Others arrive! Sophia ghost-blasts the creature through the barricade of shit that it was standing inside of and it escapes into the darkness, bleeding green goop. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc is quickly healed. Eleyn acts casual. Zan spots the vial of holy water that was on top of the poo barricade and pockets it. (50 exp)
- Pressing on, the now incredibly smelly party find themselves in a large cavern on a smooth walkway just above the bubbling brown liquid that covers the rest of the area. (50 exp)
- On a particularly high bulging island of walkway, there is a small model village in a glass dome! There are tiny living people inside, tilling tiny fields and going about their tiny lives, fearfully watching the sky. (50 exp)
- The group splits up a little, one group continues to mess with the village while the other go to find the hurt tentacle monster. The village group is attacked by some sort of weird stretchy-mouthed monster whose jaw dangles all the way down to its crotch! (50 exp)
- The others find a still body suspiciously similar to the monster's shapeshifted disguise. They poke it carefully into the brown liquid... where it just floats away. (50 exp)
- But there's an attack! The monster jumps out from where it was hiding underwater! Combat is joined! Una the newbie gets messed up and plops into the liquid! Another mouth monster emerges on the other side! Oh no! (50 exp)
- Zan on the village side tries to shoot the monster, misses, and is cursed with temporary blindness. Luckily Guido and Powerman are there to kill it. (50 exp)
- Guido and Sophia head round to the other group and leave Zan to blink away his blindess. Sophia hook-sticks Una from the mildly acidic liquid while Guido just tears the other mouth guy apart. (50 exp)
- With a knife at "her" throat and surrounded by enemies, the tentacle monster is befriended. She can mirror anyone apparently, and really doesn't seem to know much other than vague mentions of the "Progenitor" being her parent. (50 exp)
- The group head back through the poo room and all the way back up to the mushroom house to rest up. God it must really stink in there now. (50 exp)Total: 1550 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Cranky Jim, Rat LeBlanc, Jumurak - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (Eleyn - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (all others - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Rat LeBlanc)
Total: 550 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, died suddenly and unexpectedly when her heart shot straight out of her chest after passing between some organ pillars.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 40126 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 28272 (Level up at 56000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +1 level 3 spell/day!
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 19411 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 16453 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 15202 (Level up at 17600)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 14361 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Maximum rats - 25!Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +Super Secret Barbarian Level Up Table!
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points!
Absent or Retired:
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 103 - I'd Rather be an Abortion than Dead

Absolute tons of art today, courtesy of Tom who's forced me to add extra art categories to deal with the cavalcade.

The rebirth chamber sac is pretty fucked now, so good work there. See you lot tonight!

Ratman and Eleyn see monsters in the VERY WALLS!


What a handsome rat.


Sophia shoots ghosts down the stairwell!


Eleyn climbs to reclaim the fabled HOOK ON A STICK!

The party light up the mushroom and sit around swapping tales of way back before they got stuck in this horrible dungeon.

Guido's just pleased to be able to play an instrument now!


Session 103 - I'd Rather be an Abortion than Dead

Campaign Date:

Last Day, 30 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Full
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Stonecold, a Muscle Wizard and fomer pig farmer. Has a piglet he hates.
- Grunt the Barbarian, wary of sexy monsters.

Enemies Defeated:

- Two gold eaters, slain dramatically (500 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- Golden witch heart (1000 exp)
- Two gold eater corpses (15000 exp)

Total: 16000 exp

Exploration:
- 1 more dungeon area explored (20 exp)

Total: 20 exp

New Backstory:- While spying on the governor from the roofs, Jumurak's accomplice broke his ankle. Jumurak had to kill them to save himself and escape. (If you take a cowardly option that likely harms others, get +1 to your next roll)
- Zan pulled off a magnificent prank on the morning after the flagellant concert-rave, he set up a device that made a massive noise rang out amongst the hungover crowd when the preacher opened the Bible. (+1 Tinkering)
- Eleyn used to take trace amounts of poison to build up her resistance to it... and got addicted. She was forced to quit cold turkey by her sister. (Drug effects are doubled)
- Rat LeBlanc was nearly caught in a mouse trap in his youth and realised life was too short to give up on his dreams, from then on he decided he would be an actor! (Take half damage from traps someone else set off)
- Shiz had dreams of being a political figure, but his dabblings in magic would be a massive PR blunder. Unfortunately he was outed as a wizard, and made a deal to leave town until everything blew over. In exchange he will be able to salvage his political career when he returns. (When you make a deal with an adversary, gain +1 to reaction rolls for the rest of the session)
- Stonecold's pig farmer friend, Triple H, was killed by the local landlord Shane McMahon. Stonecold curses his name to this day. (Deal double damage against creatures that killed a PC this session)
- Grunt saw a terrifying harpie hag creature at his window in his youth and hid. He avoided its lustful attentions intact. (Once per session, cause the most terrifying threat on the local encounter table to show up somehow)

Events:
- THE CLIFFHANGER RETURNS and we rejoin Rat LeBlanc and Eleyn beneath the earth where the gold monsters are swimming through the very walls! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc flees deeper while Eleyn bolts for the spiral stairs! Stairwell fighting gimmick begins. The others, above, hear the screams and come to assist. (50 exp)
- Zan jumps on the bannister rail and grinds down at rapid speed! He smashes the gold monster attacking Eleyn in the head on the way past. (50 exp)
- Sophia follows up with a GHOST BEAM, blasting one of the monsters down the stairs. (50 exp)
- Jumurak's amoebae slurp along the walls as they follow him down the stairs. They're much more effective than him, since they can actually hit things. (50 exp)
- The gold monster down the bottom is killed and hits the ground with a dull clang. Glee turns to worry as the group realise these things are made of gold... and attract more of their kind. (50 exp)
- An attempt is made to sort of wrap a corpse around the dead gold eater, to mixed success. It's disgusting either way. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile up the stairs, Eleyn has escaped into Guido's waiting arms and Jumurak's amoebae have finally overwhelmed the other gold monster. The amoeba wraps it up to stop the scent escaping. (50 exp)
- Lugging the corpses out of the staircase, the group are worried when they start hearing sounds from the walls and seeing occasional glimpses of gold bodies swimming through rock. (50 exp)
- Some goblins show up to check on the noise, have a quick chat, then go on their merry way. They're kind of over the whole getting murdered by the dozens thing by this point. (50 exp)
- After covering the gold bodies with the smelliest shit they can find (including actual shit), the group rests and recuperates in the mushroom house. Charmington's done a nice job fixing up the place. (50 exp)
- Eleyn smokes some mushroom, the narcotic sentispores enter her lungs and fungal fingers replace her birth-mangled stumps. Score! (50 exp)
- Fearing for the state of the flesh-testicle, the group enters the rebirth chamber and tries to cut the ratman corpse out of the now smelly and partially rotten sac. The wounds are cauterised with gunpowder and Zan blows a bunch of Cure Light Wounds on it but it looks pretty fucked. (50 exp)
- The question of whether to destroy the thing and thus prevent the rebirth of their enemies is considered, but rebirth is decided to be worth the downsides. (50 exp)
- Descending back down to the intestine level, Eleyn goes on ahead to scout things out in a fucking terrifying way crawling along the walls with her six arms like a horrible spider. Sneaky, though. (50 exp)
- She crawls through a greasy room that tests her climbing abilities, but no problem! She crawls onwards and turns a corner to find... the witch harpy bitch's room! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Sophia's long-lost hook-on-a-stick can be seen on a perch high up on the ceiling. Hurrah! Also in this room are a bunch of gold babies. (50 exp)
- Shiz gets bored of all the waiting around and decides to follow on, reaching the grease room and failing to notice the orange blob up on the ceiling that spits a glob of fire straight at him! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc, seeing this, goes into a sonnet and bangs on about feed'sting thou life's flame. It is surely appreciated. (50 exp)
- Shiz tries running back but his leg's been burnt clean off. Zan shouts that he hasn't got a leg to stand on. Constant rebirth has turned everyone into even bigger psychopaths than they already were. (50 exp)
- Eleyn witnesses more goblins being dropped in by the harpy lady, who go to investigate all the noise and screams and fire. Eleyn herself climbs up the walls and grabs the hook-on-a-stick. Score! (50 exp)
- The others go back up to the rebirth chamber to see what happened. Shiz crawls out of the festering skin sac, skin in tatters and moaning in pain. He now glows when someone casts Light near him, is hated by demons, and permanently has 4 less HP. (50 exp)
- Shock and disgust give way to animated conversation. Should the flesh sac be destroyed? It's clearly fucked. The immortal words "I'd rather be an abortion than dead" are uttered, and the sac is left to stew for now. (50 exp)
- Eleyn, meanwhile, is stuck behind enemy lines. She remembers the secret entrance though, and in the dark and dank finds her way out of the intestine area and back to a set of stairs that take her up to the genitals. The hook-stick is safe! Moral victory! (50 exp)
- The group regoup at the mushroom house and smoke some mushroom, swapping tales of the days before they entered this terrible place. (50 exp)

Total: 1200 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Hook-on-a-Stick Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Amputation bonus (Shiz Nittlebam - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom / Eleyn, Charles / Zan - 100 exp ea)
- Artapalooza bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Attacco D'Art bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (Shiz - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Kitty / Sophia - 100 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (Shiz - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Shiz and Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 850 exp + extensive bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Shiz Nittlebam, burnt to a crisp by a fireball-shooting ooze.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 36892 (Level up at 72000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +Saves! +1 free level 3 spell! +1 level 3 spell/day!
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 25238 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 15777 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 13419 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 12068 (Level up at 17600)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman: 11127 (Level up at 12000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +free level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day!
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +free level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day!Anthony / Grunt, Level 2 Barbarian: 2264 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +Super Secret Barbarian Table!
Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 102 - Attack of the Blobs!

Recap away!
I'm writing to you from the wonderful world of the family holiday. This was toootally worth missing D&D for. At least it's easy to hold pokemon gyms here, and Lindisfarne is swarming with Magnemites and Voltorbs for some reason.

This week's art attack from Tom, who's documented the sorry state of the current party.

See you next week!

Session 102 - Attack of the Blobs!

Campaign Date:

Wednesday, 25 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Capricorn

Enemies Defeated:

- An orange blob (100 exp)
- A purple goop (100 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- The sword Goblinfucker
- Poison dart hemisphere
- Golden witch heart (1000 exp)

Total: 1000 exp

Exploration:
- 4 more dungeon areas explored (80 exp)
- 1 group of wandering monsters encountered (50 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)

Total: 180 exp

New Backstory:- Jumurak fell through a roof into a marvellous feast, landing on the centrepiece and earning the tyrant governor's eternal enmity. (Once per session, somehow gain access to a large social event)
- Zan, during his wild night post-flagellant music festival, tried to bribe the guards who showed up. It didn't work, and he ended up in ail. (+1 to gambits)
- Eleyn took the hard option and killed her father, a local noble who claimed the right of the first night at her mother's wedding. (+1 to rolls when you take a morally difficult option)
- Jim gave the tyrant in the mines "one last kiss" when he killed him in secret before escaping to the surface. (next attack does double damage when you kiss someone)
- Sophia met a wounded dog in an alleyway. She took pity on it so killed it, took it home, and raised it as a zombie dog. (+1 to pet beast morale)

Events:
- Ah, the mushroom house. Home of champions. Our heroes gather their things and move on. (50 exp)
- The crew, wondering what happened to the tall bony torture guy they once met, look around the room they met him in. (50 exp)
- Behold! A secret door! They go through, discovered piles and piles of bones sorted and turned into objets d'art and uncomfortable furniture. (50 exp)

- Sophia decides to stock up on spell components... and sets off an acid trap. With acid burns to her face and hair, she falls unconscious. (50 exp)

- The noise attracts none other than the tall bony torture guy! He seems friendly... but behind him is none other than... Charmington! (50 exp)
- Awkward glances are exchanged when everyone realises they forgot about him. The countless cuts on his skin and look of hope mingled with despair in his eyes makes this even more awks. (50 exp)
- Sophia recovers, breathes in a vial of Last Breath, and Subjugate Undead's the big undead guy. Success! He's now your best mate! (50 exp)
- Some requests from Sophia result in the group obtaining Goblinfucker, a sword inlaid with mysterious runes. It glows softly. (50 exp)
- Checking the other ways, one room contains just piles and piles of faeces. The other, a bone card table with chairs. (50 exp)
- Charmington is allowed to stay at the mushroom house and tidy up and nurse his Stockholm Syndrome. The undead guy, whose name is Udem, joins the party. (50 exp)
- The stairs down to the acid are taken and the pool is crossed with the now-standard antigrav rune combo. (50 exp)
- Voices can be heard, so they are followed. Whoever they were seem to have crossed the smaller pool of white pus-slime, so Guido begins ferrying people across. (50 exp)
- But lo! A chunk of grey acidic glop drips on Eleyn while a couple of massive blobs drop down into the main room! The party is split! (50 exp)
- "Prepper Spray" hits those in the back, sending the room into chaos. Those at the front are caught by indecision. Should they help and risk being exposed to the same spray? (50 exp)

- Sophia snaps out of it first, but once again has to deal with the liability that is Powerman on insanity juice. That's relationships for ya! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc's rat swarms do a damn good job of eating into the purple blob, despite the blob's best efforts to blast them with goop. (50 exp)
- Guido's body is destroyed! Sadness! He shall not have sort-of-died in vain! (50 exp)
- Eleyn dies horribly and is briefly mourned, and the blobs are killed soon after. Time to see what's happened to Eleyn this time! (50 exp)
- It turns out stuff's begun to go wrong with the flesh sac. Eleyn emerges deformed, with -3 dexterity, and the ability to see through walls twice a day. She also has some very ratlike features. (50 exp)

- It's near the end of the session, so Rat LeBlanc and the newly rattish Eleyn decide to go down the stairs and see what they find... (50 exp)
- It's three of the witch harpy's bodies! Each slightly more mutated than the last. Eleyn cuts into the ribcage of one and fishes out... a golden heart! (50 exp)
- Close up of Eleyn's eyes going grey. Follow line of sight to see gold-skinned people swimming through walls. One sees her, swims towards her, nose sniffing, mouth agape, teeth glistening. (50 exp)
- Smash cut to black. Cliffhanger ending. (50 exp)

Total: 1150 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Horrifying Realisation bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Jumurak, Zan - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (All new backstory people - 100 exp ea.)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 400 exp + extensive bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, dissolved by acidic blobs.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 34628 (Level up at 36000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 22974 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13313 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 11055 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 9804 (Level up at 17600)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman: 8863 (Level up at 12000)
Tomas / Tomas' Wizard, Level 1 Magic User: 1013 (Level up at 2250)

Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 101 - The First Five Lives of Rat LeBlanc

Many rat deaths last week. Poor old Ratt LeBlanc and his multiple pregnancies.

This week we have an exceptional pokemon/dnd mashup for Tom's art attack. Gotta kill 'em all!

Important -

This week (aka today) DnD will be on as normal, but next week (Tuesday 23rd) I'm off up norf to stay in a cottage with my girlfriend's family which should be a laugh.

We'll be back 30th August.

See you tonight!

Session 101 - The First Five Lives of Rat LeBlanc

Campaign Date:

Saturday, 21 January, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Tomas' Wizard, a wizard who was fittingly once a librarian.

Enemies Defeated:
- Gold-skinned man, kicked into acid (250 exp)
- 3 gold baby men, killed (75 exp)
- Harpy witch lady, headshot (100 exp)

- 2 orange oil blobs (50 exp)

Total: 475 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Virgin Sword

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- 4 more dungeon areas explored (80 exp)
- 1 group of wandering monsters encountered (50 exp)

Total: 130 exp

New Backstory:- Jain, incredibly, was the one who masterminded the deaths of all her brothers. What a twist! She ensured that they suffered. (Once per session, someone you torture must answer a question truthfully)
- Jumurak was a Man of the Rooves, part of the resistance against a tyrannical governor. His bungee-based governor kidnapping plan saved the town. (Once per session, find a defector in the room)
- Zan went around preaching after the flagellant dance party until everything went to shit and the cops showed up. (Once per session, cause everything to go to shit in an unexpected way)
- Elleyn's mother sent Elleyn on her first assassination mission, leading to her life as a gypsy assassin. (+1 Sneak Attack)
- Sophia married for love... and her love is Powerman! They are wed in the mushroom house, presided over by Zan, and with Jumurak and Jain as best man and maid of honour. Even in the immense stone fallopian tube of an enormous stone woman, love can blossom. (+1 Wisdom)

Events:
- Powerman and Powerlady get married in the mushroom house following their whirlwind romance. Tragic opposing polarity mishap post-"you may kiss the bride" results in superficial damage to makeshift church. (50 exp)
- With the newlyweds in tow, the group head down to the acid lake for a second time. Rat LeBlanc and Elleyn cross quietly via the ceiling and ropes. (50 exp)
- On the other side, some guy groaning and clutching at his chest. Elleyn points a gun at his head... a golden-skinned copy tears its way out of his skin! (50 exp)

- Elleyn acts quickly, rolling with it and kicking it off into the acid where it boils away. Clutch. (50 exp)

- Some nearby gold babies look over in consternation, and suddenly everything goes to shit. The harpy lady shows up holding up a ball of light along with a bunch more gold babies, and the rest of the group on the other side of the lake quickly try to get across! (50 exp)

- Rat LeBlanc CHARGES INTO BATTLE! His rat swarm eat the fuck out of a bunch of babies, so he follows up with his nail bat! And fumbles. And crits himself. And nearly dies. Shit's looking dire. (50 exp)
- Oh but wait! Elleyn blows a hole in the harpy's head from a distance and drops her instantly. The gold baby men follow soon after as the others arrive. (50 exp)
- Elleyn nabs the harpy witch's sword, which whispers into her head about bathing it in the blood of virgins. (50 exp)

- A very realistic statue of the harpy lady is investigated and - oh no! - releases a cloud of poison needles when disturbed! Most are too far away and Elleyn is too swift to be hit, but Rat LeBlanc is riddled with countless needles and is slain. (50 exp)- Rat LeBlanc is reborn covered in suppurating green lesions, forcing his way out of the rose-smelling flesh sac and into a room that smells of rotting flesh. He rejoins the group. (50 exp)
- Ignoring the stairs down for now, the group heads round the corner to see where the witch came from. Ahead, a pool of the pus-filled water. (50 exp)
- Guido turns out to be immune to the pus, being dead and all. He carries the group across a few at a time. (50 exp)
- Further in is a room filled with warm oil. Inspection reveals some orange blobs on the ceiling. The blobs are killed, but the ensuing explosion barbeques Rat LeBlanc. Ouch. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc struggles out and dies in agony as a swarm of rats explode from his stomach. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc barely has time to notice his snout's new length before he ruptures partway out of the sac, spewing a swarm of rats from his intestines. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc struggles a slightly longer way out and collapses as rats burst from his stomach... but he survives. He is now 2 foot shorter. (50 exp)

- The rest of the group meet up with him and help him limp to the mushroom house. His nightmare is over. For now. (50 exp)Total: 800 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Elleyn - 100 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Horrifying Realisation bonus (Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp)
- Inspiring Speech bonus (Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Jumurak, Jain, Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (500 exp - Rat LeBlanc)
- Death's Witness bonus (All, including Rat LeBlanc who witnessed his own - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 650 exp + extensive bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Rat LeBlanc, poison
- Rat LeBlanc, explosion
- Rat LeBlanc, died in childbirth
- Rat LeBlanc, died in childbirth

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 33809 (Level up at 36000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 22155 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 12494 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +saves!
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 10336 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman: 8144 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Maximum rats - 16!
Tomas / Tomas' Wizard, Level 1 Magic User: 394 (Level up at 2250)

Absent or Retired:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 9085 (Level up at 17600)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human