Session 447 - Just a Bunch of Fun Guys

Date: 31 March 1626

Zenith: Dispater

Moon Phase: Full Moon

Moon Face: Dragon Face (Tidelocked)  

Revealed Backstory:

- Hammer Hammerson curses Celebus, holding him responsible for the killing of his best friend who was subsequently harvested for parts by the Necromancer. Double damage against creatures that killed a PC.

- Mother Flotsam is enamoured with Benito as a quasi-adopted grandson, which is monetarily requited. Each gets +2 to hit foes who have hit the other.

- Masvani-I-Manavi moved from the countryside to the big city, leaving for better job opportunities and eventually finding success as a diplomat. +2 Charisma.

- Benito Brazil was raised by a pack of dogs and his "dogfather", El Rojo, was an angry drunk who loved scarfing down fermented fruits for the alcohol content. +2 Dexterity.

Events:

--- Mushroom Bound

- We return to our heroes as they lay up in the Broken Crow in the town of Larger Pushell. It's a classic fantasy tavern other than the skeleton bartender, and the children of the rescued refugees from Edge run around annoying the early patrons.
- Benito Brazil approaches a lone man called Dave sitting at the bar and tames him with Halfling mind control. Wetherspoons Dave joines the partys!

- After a bit of debate, they decide to take the bounty on solving the fungal infection out on the Bloody River. Apparently there's some sort of fungus that's gotten into the shore-meat around an old pumping station, and it's letting infected pus out into the river.

- Hammer meets the Burgermeister of the town, who works at the local Ferfect Fried Chicken branch. Asking after a reward, he is told that a whole elephant-leg of chicken doner kebab is on offer to whoever solves the problem! Sounds great! Masvani gets a kebab knife to help with the mushrooms to come.

--- Penitents

- They set off back down the road to Little Pushell, following the banks of the Bloody River which, despite the name, is only somewhat bloody. Much less bloody than it used to be anyway.

- The Nonanists give a sign to Dispater who is at zenith overhead, granting +3 to Backstab.

- On the road they encounter penitents with tonsures! The party stop to converse, and discover that these are old school Unorthodox priests. They're travelling to warn King Swan that the Pope is steering the now-mobile Vatican towards Loegria. He plans to kill and eat Gifflewim, gaining his power and destroying the obol economy.

- They part ways and the party continues on, stopping to fish and set up camp on the riverbank.

- They cook "Fiji Mermaid, Fried" from Mud Bream, Glimmerjack, Wheat and Mushroom. It's merely ok. Then they camp, sharing two-man tents. Some combination of the passable food and the small tents leaves each pair grumpy at each other in the morning.

--- Get Your Pump On

- They continue downriver until they come to a sign for a pumping station. It says "Get Your Pump On". The door is ajar, and there are mushrooms growing around the door. Must be the place!

- Benito sends Wetherspoons Dave in first, who starts ripping fungus off the walls and chucking them into the river to little effect. Inside he sees three sluice gates blocking three channels channels, locked in place by mycelium.

- The others improvise gasmasks with runes and find a trickle of infected water from one of the gates.

- Hammer tries to leap over the channel and falls in! It's only some quick work with the hooked edge of his axe that saves him from being sucked away!

- Masvani goes more cautiously and looks into an interior chamber. He can see a hand-shaped mushroom growing against the glass. This is very scary to all involved.
- Luckily Benito has a molotov prepared! They try to open a door and it SPRINGS open with fronds squealing out of it! Masvani chucks the molotov in and the others swiftly slam the door shut on the fronds. There is a screeching sound like a kettle boiling inside.

--- Join Us?!

- Meanwhile, Hammer has dragged his way out of the channel and onto the wet tile at the edge of the channel. He looks up and sees... a tonsured monk! But this one is held by a mushroom frond and preaches UNITY!

- He rejects the offer of a fun new religion , backs away, and rejoins the group since the monk can't really move due to the frond.

- The others have entered the interior room, finding an enormous but very singed red-and-white-spotted classic mushroom in the centre. The gills tinkle with music, and it has a face!

- Bandito addresses it in multiple languages, and it answers. It says it is The Murmerer, a remnant of Jonathon Toast, and it wishes to join others in beautiful unity as they were under Toast.

--- Thanks But No Thanks

- They reject the offer and chuck more molotovs! Plus a rune to keep the fire burning!

- Benito feels something squirming in his backpack and throws the whole thing into the fire!

- Mother Flotsam activates her new Razor Spiral spell and, surrounded by blades, moves in to mash the immobile monster to death!

- Benito and Hammer flee for the exit and meet an old woman asking them to join the Toasted Ones. They reject her, and she collapses into a pile of mushrooms.

- Masvani beams lightning in at the fronds.. and hears a scream in his mind! The fronds have been spying on everyone's thoughts! The Repel-Plants glyph (after some discussion on the meaning of "plant" when it comes to the fungal kingdom) works on the mind-spores, so they do some rune bullshit involving Absorb-Life.

- What remains is the corpulent form of an elderly woman, who can still speak. They speak with her at length, learning much lore about the new Toasted One religion, the Murmerer, and Mrs Mycellia who takes 20 years to develop.

- They also find some books! Largely POWERLAD books.

--- Arguments on Return

- They murder the woman, of course, and drag her corpse outside to burn it in a big bonfire which smells very umami.

- Some of the captured life-force from the Absorb-Life rune is drifting away, back towards the pumping station, deeper into the complex...

- The river, however, is much cleaner. The pus infection has stopped. Benito recommends that they absolutely do not go back in there because it's fucked and they've completed the quest. Masvani, by contrast, is all in on looting the place further.

- They can't decide... so that's a problem for next session.

Total: 7000 exp

Foes Defeated:

- The Murmer-Shroom (500 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Treasures Claimed:

- Book #399 - POWERLAD Adult Colouring Book (50 exp)

- Book #325 - POWERLAD and the Busty Barbarian (50 exp)

- Book #385 - The Sins of POWERLAD (50 exp)

- Book #258 - Fiction; A General Work (50 exp)

Total: 200 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler and Expedition Leader (200 exp/lvl)

- Charles the Paymaster (100 exp/lvl)

- Kitty the Vanguard (100 exp/lvl)

- George the Chef (100 exp/lvl)

Exp Totals:

- George / Hammer Hatmakerson, Level 3 Fighter: 7956 (Level up at 8000)

- Carter / Masvani-I-Manavi, Level 3 Necromancer: 5842 (Level up at 9000)

*LEVEL UP! +1d4 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! + Backstory!

- Charles / Benito Brazil, Level 3 Halfling: 4639 (Level up at 8000)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 to Mind Control! +1 to Cooking! +Backstory!

- Kitty / Mother Flotsam, Level 2 Magic-User: 4439 (Level up at 4500)