Session 450 - Glitch Mob

Date: 5 May 1626

Zenith: Alaunus

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face (Tidelocked)  

 

Revealed Backstory:

- Mother Flotsam blames herself for her child dying too young, which is why she's such a motherly presence on the team. If someone nearby would die, you can take a crit from what killed them instead.

Events: 

--- And We're Back!

- After a Lost Episode in the Liminal Zone (Episode 459.5 coming soon?) wherein much treasure and strange cave-men were fought and befriended, we return to regular programming!
- The party are, via some contrivance, at the foot of Mount Grumblebelch. Before them is the Sepulchre wherein lies the Mountain God. Theorised to be related to the Old Miner by Hammer Hatmakerson, and reportedly served by a small army of Dwarven worshippers.

- Without further ado, they approach. A curtain blocks a cave mouth, upon which is stitched a squareish minecraft-ish looks-a-bit-like-a-dwarf symbol. They approach and from thin air two Dwarves appear, textures shimmering into existence. They have emerald green priestly robes and swords which shiver and jitter.

- They speak the tongue of Ur-Kalladh, common to the Dwarves of Mt Grumblebelch, and despite some initial digital spasms are quite intelligible for those who know the language.
- They offer entry into their holy mysteries for those who wish to partake. Their faith is one of non-conformity. Benito gives one of them a line of Notcoke and dives past, while the rest of the party follow more sedately. Nice chaps really.

--- Cyberattack

- The tunnel inside is smooth-floored but the walls jag and zigzag unnaturally, carved by some weird force. It ends at another curtain with a similar symbol of a Dwarf face. When pulled aside, the Dwarves within load in. They seem to have experienced a discontinuity of consciousness.

- Talks are attempted but denied, there are a number of similar green-robed Dwarfs, who declare that they wouldn't necessarily fight if their priest was defeated. The priest is at the back of the room in resplendent black-soaked green, on his head a helmet containing two rotating six-sided dice on gimbals.

--- Near Impact
- Masvani fishes the leader's hat straight off his head! Whatever mystical power it possessed is unmoored.
- The party rediscover the art of Opportunity Attacks via failed attempts to get past the front row and kill the priest.

- Mother Flotsam casts her new spell - Babbling Curse - on the leader and he begins yammering hypnotically, all who hear him look on in hypnotic shock unless they pass a save. The leader begins speaking of the infinite labyrinth, of conspiracy, of the truth of the world. The party cover their ears, but Hammer is too late and is stunned too!
- Goblinda attacks Hammer to break his curse and it works! Unfortunately this breaks the curse for everyone not just the individual, and the party is now fighting for their lives.
- Goblinda stands tall and Opportunity Attacks all comers, but...
- The vengeful priest strikes Goblinda across the face, leaving a scar down her cheek.
- She staggers back into the glitching sword of a Dwarven attacker, who aims high then glitches and strikes low, ripping through the celery-like tendon that Goblins have instead of a hamstring. Goblinda is down, drawing artistic flourishes in the sap oozing from her xylem.

--- Alas and Alack

- Masvani activates his backstory power and lies (vaguely plausibly) to the priest boss, who vanishes. The few surviving Dwarfs stand down.
- Masvani casts Livor Mortis, counteracting Goblinda's bleeding, while Mother Flotsam performs first aid and closes up her internal bleeding. Benito feeds her a potion of healing and she's out of the woods. The hamstring will take longer to heal.

- They pick Goblinda up and hustle her through the next curtain which is stitched with a sort of square design, coming to an unlit corridor. As the curtain swishes closed behind them, the dwarves within despawn.
- A throwaway line haunts their minds - is this the infinite labyrinth?

Total: 5000 exp

Foes Defeated:
- A fair few glitch-dwarves (450 exp)

- A glitch-priest (100 exp)

Total: 550 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler & Cartographer (200 exp/level)

- Jahms the Expedition Leader (All foes gain 1 level permanently no take backs)

- Charles the Paymaster (100 exp/level)
- Kitty the Vanguard (100 exp/level)
- Zoe the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Hammer Hatmakerson, Level 4 Fighter: 15558 (Level up at 16000)

- Carter / Masvani-I-Manavi, Level 4 Necromancer: 14044 (Level up at 18000)

- Charles / Benito Brazil, Level 4 Halfling: 12841 (Level up at 16000)

- Kitty / Mother Flotsam, Level 3 Magic-User: 8374 (Level up at 9000)

- Zoë / Goblinda, Level 3 Goblin: 4527 (Level up at 8000)
*LEVEL UP! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Goblin! +Backstory!

Session 449 - The Road to #DUNGEON_NOT_FOUND_ERROR#

Date: 28 April 1626

Zenith: The Dead God

Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face (Tidelocked)  

New Backstory:

- Benito Brazil had a baby back in Brazil, which is one of the reasons why he fled across the sea to Loegria, and left the kid to be raised by the local Caramelo dogs. Your next character can be your son, who starts at half your exp.

- Hammer Hatmakerson reached the position of "naturally handsome" in the manosphere due to hammering his face bones or whatever. He was soon betraymogged by a rival and cast down. +2 to Con stat.

- Masvani-i-Manavi deceived the entire army into walking out of the city then locked the gates behind them, a brilliant prank! Once per session, someone absolutely believes a plausible lie.

Events:

--- Admin Adventures AND a Lore Drop

- We return to our heroes in Larger Pushell, where they are walking around and hearing rumours.
-- Gifflewim is offering discounts with code #GetCrunk

-- Dwarves are slowly replacing the Meatlands with stone

-- Grumblebelch Dwarves are famed for their unbreaking weapons

-- The people of Guzzle send their children into dungeons in the hopes that they'll be ensouled by a passing hero.

- Benito immediately heads to Gifflewim's shop and gets himself 5 doses of Notcoke as a gift-with-purchase.

- The others buy stuff from the local vendor, and Masvani gets himself a nice chair to fit to his new undead Stoneshell Crab. Much more comfortable!

- Gifflewim also informs the group that Elves have breached the vault of heaven, having travelled here after Mars suddenly vanished one day (who did that?). There is a war on the moon, but the Nine High Gods are preventing the fallout from reaching Earth. Spicy!

-- Heading Off 

- As they leave towards Mt Grumblebelch and the Sepulchre of the Mountain God at its base, they pass a Dwarf merchant offering to sell them some goods!

- They purchase some potions from a random grab-bag. A Potion of Growth for Benito, a Potion of Plant Control for Hammer, and a Potion of Spell Ward for Mother Flotsam. How nice!
- The Dwarf also tells them that the Sepulchre of the Mountain God contains Dwarfs who left Mt Grumblebelch to praise the Mountain God instead. They're all mad cultists in his opinion.

--- Uh Oh

- I try to load the dungeon and discover to my absolute horror that something's gone wrong with the SD card! Is everything gone?? I take 2d20 psychic damage and am Stunned for the rest of the session.

- We do some little social interactions while I try to recover, and Benito manages to free himself from his god-curse by sniping a Skip-Rat from 200 yards.

- Alas, my morale is broken, so we end here and George takes over for the rest of the session.
- Charles later fixes it so WE GOOD

Total: 4000 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler, Paymaster and Cartographer (300 exp/level)
- Kitty the Expedition Leader and Chef (200 exp/level)
- George the Vanguard (100 exp/level)
- Charles the Illustrator (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Hammer Hatmakerson, Level 4 Fighter: 14448 (Level up at 16000)

- Carter / Masvani-I-Manavi, Level 4 Necromancer: 12134 (Level up at 18000)

- Charles / Benito Brazil, Level 4 Halfling: 11331 (Level up at 16000)

- Kitty / Mother Flotsam, Level 3 Magic-User: 6964 (Level up at 9000)
*LEVEL UP! +1d4 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! + Backstory!