Session 414 - We Dropped This City! We Dropped This City in the Goblin Hole!

Date: 19th August 1625

Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face

Zenith Deity: Oberon

New Characters:

- Brick, a Dwarf named for his dismal intelligence and (to our surprise since his failed career was rolled after naming) is an ex-bricklayer. There was much debate over what a "bricklaying stick" is, and it turns out in the end I was JUSTIFIED because it turns out I was thinking of a brick hod!

- Albedo, Inheritor from the Wastelands who it seems is a recovered vampire.

- Havarti Honeybun, a Halfling who survived the apocalypse by living in the veins of the earth.

Events:

--- Much Confusion

- There is initially much confusion because I hadn't done the previous recap before jetting off to Australia. Thankfully Carter keeps excellent records so was able to get us up to speed. Hurrah! Thank you Carter!
- As such, we find the party airborne over the Drudge Wastes, bobbing through the skies in the cracked remains of the bucket-city of Drudgespar, held aloft primarily be an enormous balloon made of the skin of a blue whale.

- Cytoplasmic mycelial gunk starts dripping out of the city and Sulphur uses a Soul Sight spell to confirm that yes, it is ensouled and yes, it's infecting whatever it likes down there! The party helps continue the goblin evacuation, warning them of the new threat.
- In the drama, two new people enter the party. Brick, a Dwarf, and Albedo, and Inheritor, get caught up in all the rush and are immediately trusted in the way that only PCs truly are.

- Albedo tests the mycellium in the walls... and it shoots out and starts trying to worm its way through her to her heart! Luckily she's an Inheritor so collapses into a pool of glooping ooze and blood to digest it right back. She absorbs its mycelium attack!

- Maxwell sets his helpers (with the help of a Repel-Life rune) to keep the cytoplasm back while they retreat.

--- Brick Save Pod

- Sulphur hears goblins pleading for aid in Bucketsides, and there they are! A little clan of bud-goblins whose peapod is threatened by the evacuation. They are congenitally unable to move it themselves, so it's Brick to the rescue! He digs out the pod, roots and all, and hefts it into his sack of bricks. The pod is saved!

- While Albedo discovers her new power (via lengthy negotiation), Sulphur is confronting some goblins with white eyes who have been taken over by the wall mycellia. Soul Sight shows that they're all connected to some sort of gestalt, they are BRIMMING with soul. They tell him their only wish is to kill everything on the planet, then run off to cause chaos!

--- Loot While You've Got the Chance

- Up on the top level, Maxwell and Zeppelino are rigging up a big Repel-Gravity rune to help get the city to its final destination above Morning Light Mountain. It's about 6 hours until the destination.

- In the mean time, they might as well loot the city! Turns out there's more lube around than expected.

- The city is now passing by Grendel, the great clockwork city built around a huge central crankshaft. Bystanders below gawp at the city flying past above. They might come back here, but first! The mission!

--- Vampire Speed Boost

- As the sun sets they see a swarm of dark shapes fast approaching from the southwest. It's a swarm of vampires sent to check out vhat's been happenink!

- Considering that there are actually blood-havers here, they are willing to make a deal! If they can have some blood, they're willing to help push the city to the final destination! In exchange they'll get lots of (willingly given and indirectly obtained) blood. The blood-havers start draining themselves in advance so they don't pass out from the blood loss later.

- They get closer and closer, now moving above the huge menacing spikes that slant outwards from the centre where Morning Light Mountain lurks...

--- City Just Dropped

- Finally Drudgespar is directly above. It's go time! The vampires are given their bloody reward (plus some alterket) and seem rather pleased.

- Goblins swarm below like ants and so Maxwell triggers the lightning rune he's been saving up. The goblins below are fried!... but then they start getting back up!

- Damn better do what they wanted then. They release the city from the blue whale balloon and drop the whole thing directly onto the home of Morning Light Mountain.
- It goes BOOOM and a shockwave ripples through the sludge in all directions! Crater dynamics are considered!

- The words MORNING LIGHT MOUNTAIN echo in everyone's minds, and the cytoplasm remaining in the city's walls squirms and squiggles against the ground as darker, greener cytoplasm emerges from the sludge and begins to subsume it...

--- Still Gotta Eat

- Up in the blue whale, ears popping after its rapid rise before the blue goblins could let out enough hydrogen from the gas bladders to stabilise it, the party decides that they'd better have something to eat before dealing with whatever it is that's going on down there.

- They make the aptly named "Rubble and Squeak" from a relatively homely mix of Rat, Sourdough, Mushroom and Potato. It's pretty good!

Total: 7000 exp

Enemies Defeated:

- A whole lot of goblins, kinda (1000 exp)

- Morning Light Mountain??? (??? exp)

Total: At least 1000 exp

Treasures Looted:

- 12 silver coins (12 exp)
- 2 vials of acid.

- 2 vials of lubricant.

- 2 doses of Alterket
- 3 doses of Notcoke

- Arcane Bath Bomb gives spellcasters back all their Mana.
- Scroll #61 - "Putrefy Food and Drink"
- Book #336 - "POWERLAD: Captivated by the Cultists"
- Amber Fishing Rod grants +2 to Bushcraft when fishing

Total: 12 exp

OOC:

Carter the Chronicler and Cartographer (200 exp/level)

Charles the Paymaster (100 exp/level)
Ollie the Quartermaster and Chef (200 exp/level)
Kitty the Vanguard (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 7 Goblin: 89977 (Level up at 128000)

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 7 Specialist: 69484 (Level up at 112000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 4 Boo-gilist: 15646 (Level up at 18000)

- Kyle / Brick, Level 1 Brick: 1502 (Level up at 2000)

- Sophia / Albedo, Level 1 Inheritor: 1502 (Level up at 2250)

- Ollie / Havarti Honeybun, Level 1 Halfling: 1502 (Level up at 2000)

Session 413 - Drudgespar Debate Society

Date: 15th July 1625

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face

Zenith Deity: The Lady

Events:

--- The Aftermath

- After fighting off a load of space-Dwarves (?) and hiding once more in the safety cube, our party emerge relatively refreshed!

- Maxwell has a lot of opinions on the structural integrity and tensile strength of Drudgespar now that the forces at work have effectively reversed.

- The ground is unsteady as the great city sways through the skies. If they go up, it's goblins (blue or otherwise). If they go down, more of those Dwarves in the beetle-black suits. There's also a big hole that's been blown in one side of the big cone.

- Cytoplasmic ooze begins bubbling up from below, swirling around Dwarf bones. A quickly scrawled Detect-Life glyph shows that it's ALIVE! In fact, VERY ALIVE!

--- Who Out Here Extruding They Goblin

- A goblin form slowly grows and forms out of the cytoplasm. He's green but he's got shelf-fungus ridges and white eyes. It introduces itself as a Motile.

- They talk for a while, it is commanded by the Immotile Deep Dark Dissident who has grown into the walls of the Dwarven Arcology below, the better to escape the solar system in the event of the Earth's collapse.

- It collapses back into ooze. Maxwell tries to bring it back with a quick Take-Life rune and absorbs... too much life?! He tries absorbing some of it that life into himself but feels something powerful start to subsume him! He breaks the rune and lets the energies drain away.

--- Let's Go Up, Gang!

- They decide to go up to the main city and parley with the blue goblins now that they have this new information. It's anti-grav time on the safety cube. Up up and away!
- They land on the Undercity layer and head upwards, on the way accosted by a drunk Australian woman who apparently lives inside my mind, ready to come out at any time. She's absolutely pissed on boxed wine.
- It transpires that she's an Elf called Spatchcock - a Gluntie Queyne if you want to get technical - and after some banter agrees to lead the party to the lift up to the Skirts where the blue goblins currently rule.
- On the way, Maxwell informs an anti-blue rebel hobgoblin of various other runes they can use. It's not just Take-Lightning. There are others! However this situation calls for a truly massive Take-Lightning rune that should hopefully depower all the blue goblins above. Can you get the rebellion on that? Nice one, thanks.

Spatchcock, meanwhile, has heard the Word through Nostradama and converted to Nonanism. Will she remember she did this once the hangover's worn off? Only the Nine can know!

--- Audience with the Bloblins

- They get on the lift to the Skirts and while it makes its slow, lumbering, rickety way up the walls of Drudgespar they see the goblins below lighting up the super-rune. By the time the party reaches the Skirts the blue goblins are in disarray! They can still fly, but their powers are being curtailed!
- Sulphur demands to see their leader and, under the circumstances, they take the party straight there.

- The leader is called The Almighty Bode and the effects of the Take-Lightning glyph have turned him a strange shade of mauve.

- He tells them the plan again - drop Drudgespar on the Place of Honour, killing the evil Immotile Morning Light Mountain, Mother of Goblins. They won't attack it directly because it can mind control goblins, which is why it's been contained but left to its own devices in a landscape of spikes all this time. Wipe it out and its evil influence will never affect goblinkind ever again!

- The city is to be evacuated, and so the goblin residents depower the giant Take-Lightning rune and begin bailing out by parachute and helicopter-hat and sometimes just loads of padding. Down into the mushroom forest below. Manrat plans to go down there and lead them as some sort of Khan.
- The great city keeps moving inexorably towards the Place of Honour where Morning Light Mountain lies scheming...

Total: 5000 exp

OOC:

Carter the Chronicler, Cartographer and Paymaster (300 exp/level)

Zoë the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)
Kitty the Vanguard (100 exp/level)
George the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- - George / Manrat Snels, Level 8 Ratman: 112023 (Level up at 224000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! 64 Rat Max! +Backstory!

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 7 Specialist: 67982 (Level up at 112000)

- Zoë / Nostradama, Level 6 Cleric of Nonanism: 39209 (Level up at 72000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 4 Boo-gilist: 14144 (Level up at 18000)

Session 412 - What Does This Button Do?

 Date: 24th June 1625

Moon Phase: New Moon

Moon Face: Pocked Face

Zenith Deity: The Scorned

New Characters:

- Lazy Lie, a Fighter who looks remarkably like a big blue dragon in a moustache... but that can't be right surely??

Revealed Backstory:

- Sulphur gave generously to Bulgur's funeral! +2 Charisma

- Nostradama knocked on a scary old door in a scary old house in the hopes of converting the scary old woman to the light of Nonanism! +2 to doing something everyone says is a bad idea

- Gaius Julius Drusus ate the biggest human he'd ever seen to prove his bravery! +2 Strength

Events:

--- A Long-Prophesied Return

- The party, seeking snacks after their battle with the massive Terran, enter the dungeon pantry.

- Within they find a big blue dragon who says he's a Fighter, and a returning character from long ago! Gaius Julius Drusus, alleged Roman Emperor and Halfling!

- Sulphur cooks a delicious beef and black pudding wellington. It's genuinely amazing.

--- Mysterious Seating Arrangement

- They hear the knocking of an encounter at an external door, but they'd cleverly countermanded it by opening just the inward-facing airlock doors.

- Still, maybe not that way.

- They come to a large mysterious cube-shaped room. Padded seats with rollercoaster-style braces are gimballed to the walls.

- Maxwell draws a Talk-Electricity rune to communicate with the electronics. The vibes are good, so the electricity does him a solid and flips out a big console with a big red button on it! It also has two keys at either end which give that "turn these simultaneously" vibe.

--- Strap In

- Maxwell is enamoured of the big red button. What could go wrong with pressing a big red button?

- Everyone else straps into a seat, and one of the seats swings down for Maxwell.
- He pressed the button and...
- BOOOMM!!!! Massive explosion! Everyone's seats rock and their stomachs drop as they fall!
- After several stomach-lurching seconds there's a great crash. The seats worked perfectly though, everyone's unharmed.

--- You Maniacs, You Blew It Up!

- They spin the door open and beyond is... a disaster. It's all gone. They're inside a great spherical impact crater. A whole lower section of Drudgespar above has been broken off above, a huge spike aimed ominously downwards. The glooping stuff of the wastes leaks in around it. The dungeon itself is just... gone.

- There is a great tearing, cracking sound as the rest of Drudgespar shears off. The blue goblins, the blue whale balloon, and all the other balloons that were trying to float Drudgespar can finally take the weight!
- Bits of giant scorpion rain down to Manrat's horror. He'd just paid for that!

--- Dwarf Defence

- Before they can truly work out what to do next, hatches open up around the circular smooth surface of the bottom of the impact crater. Dwarves pop out along with mounted repeater crossbows!
- They are wearing slick black armour with clear bubble helmets and they are, for fairly good reason, absolutely livid.

- Battle is joined. The crossbows (and importantly, hatches) are arrayed around the room in a big circle, so the party splits into multiple groups to charge in!
- Maxwell has a solo battle with a Dwarf on the long ladder that leads down from the hatch, firing beams at each other. He gambits to hook the Dwarf with his fire axe and sends it down the shaft, before doing another gambit to swing down after and gut it!
- He lands and finds himself surrounded by Dwarves, but they're all holding back in fear of this demon who blew up the world then murdered their compatriot with a flaming axe.

- Meanwhile Sulphur has been punching (and Last Breath collecting) his way down one of the hatches. He slurps up some sputum and engages Soul Vision which lets him see souls, and due to a faint soul-energy in the stone he can see in the dark. He spots the souls of Zeppelino and co and starts running the corridor.
- Speaking of Zeppelino and co, the "co" here being Manrat and Nostradama, they've slid down the hatch ladder and are currently under assault by a whole squad of Dwarves. After eating a few close calls, they decide discretion is the better part of valour and bug out. Zeppelino brings up the rear, his talking shield biting undies to protect them from below.

--- Corpse-Punch!

- Sulphur sees the others escaping and slips through that room while the Dwarf squad is firing up the shaft. Stealth!
- He keeps going, seeing Maxwell ahead and the souls of the cowering Dwarves.

- Maxwell sees Sulphur coming and with a great burst of strength throws the corpse of the Dwarf he killed towards him! Sulphur sees what's coming, brings back a fist, and flash-steps into a Corpse Explosion Punch!

- The corpse explodes, showering the surrounding Dwarfs in shards of bone and jagged discs of solidified blood! Maxwell and Sulphur escape while the Dwarfs scream in pain and shock.

--- Safety Box

- The various party members arrive up top to find that Gaius and Lazy Lie have managed to mount a repeating crossbow onto the "fighter" dragon's back, which again is suspicious. Gaius has mounted the other's back and created a sort of biological technical. He gives cover fire as the others run back to the safety of the cube!

Total: 8000 exp

Loot Acquired:

- Ramen packets and olive oil (10 exp)
- Dwarf "space suit"

Total: 10 exp

Enemies Defeated

- Loads of Dwarves (1000 exp)

Total: 1000 exp

OOC:

Charles the Chronicler (100 exp/level)

George the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)

Carter the Cartergrapher (100 exp/level)

Nick the Vanguard (100 exp/level)

Tim the Triage (100 exp/level)

Kitty the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 7 Ratman: 109973 (Level up at 112000)

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 7 Goblin: 88475 (Level up at 128000)

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 7 Specialist: 64632 (Level up at 112000)

- Zoë / Nostradama, Level 6 Cleric of Nonanism: 37359 (Level up at 72000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 4 Boo-gilist: 12494 (Level up at 18000)

- Timothy / Gaius Julius Drusus, Level 3 Halfling: 7031 (Level up at 8000)

- Nick / Lazy Lie, Level 1 Suspiciously Dragon-Shaped Fighter: 1288 (Level up at 2000)

Session 407 - Oiling Up in Ur-Jeizhek

Date: 29th April 1625

Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent

Moon Face: Clean Face

Zenith Deity: Alaunus

New Characters:

- Algernon, a mayfly awakened by circumstances unknown. Its familiar is a human man. Muscle Wizard (he's the muscle, it's the wizard).

New Backstory:

- Strangers entered Zeppelino's town (Drudgespar) and he helped scare them away due to suspicions that they were in league with the hated Dwarves. +2 Strength.

- While Zeppelino was in the lost dimension, he saw something awful vanish away... Once per session, induce crippling fear in a creature who sees something horrible behind you.

Events:

--- Death and Taxes

- Algernon the Mayfly flits around the head of his human familiar as it enters the bustling goblin city of Drudgespar. According to the guards, the city is being lifted so it's lucky to get in when it still can!
- Roofworks continue - large-scale Repel Lightning runes are being drawn facing upwards towards the lightning-wielding Drakencult in the Rigging above. The Rigging itself strains against the upwards force of an enormous stitched-together blue whale balloon, pulling the city out of the sucking muck of the Wastes.

- It sees a strange sight. In front of an enormous part-mechanical scorpion, a haphazard party of adventurer types is being accosted by goblin tax collectors, demanding back taxes. With a lazy flick of the claw the tax collectors are all mulched!

- Algernon is somehow enamoured with joining this group. Algernon joins the party!

--- Ur-Jeizhek Exposed!

- The party is debating where to go next since Drudgespar is, for now, in an uneasy truce between the Drakencult above and the main population below.

- But wait, wasn't Ur-Jeizhek accessible now since the city's being lifted into the air? Let's go there!
- Maxwell grabs some explosives, Zeppelino recruits some more goblins, and they take the attack scorpion to the outside of the city.

- It's a sloppy slide down through the muck, the scorpion bracing against the slick melted-together brick of outer Drudgespar. They can see changes in the strata of the city walls as they go down, the colours of the oozing wasteland through time. Various shades of purples and blues and blacks, with the occasional stark band of green.

- They soon arrive at the bottom and see glowing Ur-Jeizhek, the first surface-worlders to see it for over a thousand years! The surface is a football field-sized plane of verdegrised brass carved with softly glowing sigils. Five obvious entrances (with turnstiles) are arranged around the space in a pentagon, it looks like the exposed turnstiles structures could hinge closed to be flush with the surface.

--- Queue Jumping Not Tolerated
- Alas, these are person-sized entrances, so the attack scorpion will have to wait here for now. Manrat puts it on sentry mode (ie. the crew is on standby).
- Maxwell tries to hope the nearest turnstile and... BAM! A Dwarf-shaped robot pops up and shoots him!

- Zeppelino flings his Gunk Bomb into the place where the robot popped out, and the next time someone jumps the turnstile it pops up into the glue, disabling it! Zeppelino leaves an Out of Order sign and the party continue in.

--- Ungreased Tube

- Below, the entry chamber is dominated by a big statue of the Allfather. He looks Terran - double-wide Dwarf - rather than the human form our resident Nonanists are used to. The surroundings are carved with images of abundance. Vast crops of Plump Helmet mushrooms and overpopulated fields of meat beasts like rats and grubs.
- They discover that the eyes of the Allfather are actually buttons! A flume opens up beneath the statue, perfectly person-sized. Algernon sends his man-shaped familiar down the chute, a booming voice says "death waits for you!", and the familiar somehow reforms from the mayfly's body. Something killed it.

- Maxwell pours some oil down the flume and sets it alight, hoping to burn whatever it is down there. Then they tie a rope around Bulgur and send him down to scout. He can't see what's down there, but the echoes indicate that there's a room down there. They slide down a torch.

- Bulgur, now holding the torch, looks around the place. The flume does indeed end in a big pit, there are bones at the bottom. The pit is in a larger room though, with floors made from fused stone and copper.

- They lower Bulgur into the pit proper and he roots around the remains. He finds a fleshy Elf ear with an earring worth 1720 obols! Result!

--- Rune Revelations

- Carved upon the walls of this chamber are various reliefs showing Major Runes and their relationships to various arcologies. Make is associated with the Forge Lore Dwarfs of Ur-Kalladh, Beam with the Glyph Lore Dwarves of Ur-Jeizhek, and so on.
- Most intriguingly, two new Major Runes are shown! Experimentation reveals that one (like a double concave lens) allows one to commune with its element. The other (an inverted T-shape) is like a compass that points to the nearest and/or largest concentration of the element. Carter, I mean Algernon, is thrilled!

- On another wall is a mural depicting a strange ritual - "The Ineluctable Pallid Commandment to Bind the Suckered Abomination".

--- Deep Fried

- The next room has lots of crates and barrels. Goblin zombies leap out from behind them to attack! They smell super tasty because they've been infusing the olive oil and air-dried since being somehow zombified.

- Zeppelino unleashes his firing squad of goblin bowmen, while Manrat's pistol unfortunately explodes! Bulgur fumbles his Pumpkinhead Axe attack, chipping the magical weapon!

- Maxwell gambits to yank two zombies into each other, crits, Bulgur joins in, fumbles, and gets bitten! He passes his Doom save versus whatever it is these zombies do to you!

- Between the goblin horde (now down a Goblin, alas poor Bean) and Bulgur's wild axe-swinging, the zoblins are finally defeated!

--- Oil and Feasting

- They inspect the barrels and ohohooo! It's loads of tasty olive oil infused with the fresh taste of Goblin! Dubbing it "Golive Oil" they take the lot! 4 barrels at 2000 obols each makes this a very lucrative find!

- They also find pastes and embalming tools made from the bones of humans and elves... concerning.

- Manrat sets up a field kitchen as the others look around the rest of the room, finding various other loot.

- He cooks "Fish and Chips But With a Cobra" which contains cobra meat, pickled goblin, plump helmet mushroom, potato, and golive oil. It's tasty! The dinner perk gives +2 to cooked meal deliciousness, which will be helpful.

- The party settles down to eat their first meal inside Ur-Jeizhek proper... but will it be their last??

Total: 8000 exp

Treasure:

- 4 barrels of Golive Oil (8000 exp)
- Pierced Elf Ear (1720 exp)

- Vial of Lubricant

- 3 Red Eye Cigarettes grant infravision while smoked
- Rare inks and Parchments halve spell research cost.

- Trinkets worth 1000 obols (1000 exp)

- Hastily drawn map of dungeon area

- 3 Blue Eye Cigarettes grant +4 Charisma while smoked

Total: 10720 exp

Murders:

- A few olive oil zombies (80 exp)

Total: 80 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler, Cartographer and Paymaster (300 exp/level)

- Kitty the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)

- Mason the Vanguard (100 exp/level)

- George the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Level 7 Barbarian: 92728 (Level up at 128000)

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 7 Ratman: 73327 (Level up at 112000)

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 7 Goblin: 71529 (Level up at 128000)

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 6 Specialist: 49171 (Level up at 56000)

- Mason / Algernon, Level 2 Mayfly Muscle Wizard: 3860 (Level up at 4500)
*LEVEL UP! +1d4 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! Plus Backstory!

Session 406 - IT CRAWLS!

 Date: 22nd April 1625

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent

Moon Face: Pocked Moon

Zenith Deity: The Dead God

New Backstory:

- If Manrat's gang had known the secret of the Endless City like he did, they'd have understood why he left them to suffer. If you hit a target and they survive, force them to answer a question truthfully. 

- Maxwell's green thumb was the result of the offerings he left out for the spirits and fae at the bottom of the garden. +2 to reaction rolls with intelligent plants, fungi, and other flora.

Events:

--- The City is the City

- The fat clouds over Drudgespar roil. There's no storm but the city's warm wet updraft disturbs the upper air. Far further above, the brass coffin of the Dead God sends blessings to the devoted from low earth orbit. Even further above the slow spinning of the moon has revealed its Pocked Face - red glowing freckles of light attempting to receive the discharged rainbow beams of earthly Marlingspikes.

- In Drudgespar below, searching through the Buildup, Manrat looks for a demonic cornershop where he can sell his overvalued gem. There are plenty of these places scattered around the city, but when he finds one he discovers it empty. Where the hell is Julgoor?
- Instead of the demonic shopkeeper there's an imp playing some chill beats on a tiny string instrument. It informs Manrat that he's 31st in the queue, please hold.

- The others chat shit with locals. Per said locals, the Bloblins (ie. Blue Goblins - the dragon-worshipping winged goblins up in the Rigging) are making up any old excuse to purge unborn hobgoblins before they emerge from their pea pods.

- Maxwell wants to help, but he's a meatoid so is distrusted as a matter of course.
- The Goblins also claim that they used to live on the surface in earlier aeons. The Dwarves enslaved them, leaving the surface free for humans to move in and take over. Such lore.

--- Julgoor Remasked

- Manrat hears - "you are 0th in the queue".

- At that, Julgoor appears! The back of his shop is once more filled with squirming darkness. The front of his shop now has the gold-masked Julgoor acting as the friendly shopkeep.

- "WHAT do you WANT??", Julgoor asked calmly.

- He asks for three wheat facts and shivers against any mention of the idea of thorns.

- The Idea of Thorns is within him, warring with the Idea of Wheat. He is consumed by contradiction and vanishes, snatching the gem and leaving behind a gold mask worth the sale value of 10000 obols.

--- GRAKTIL!

- The party head towards the giant siege scorpion known as GRAKTIL THE CITY THAT CRAWLS! since Manrat has enough cash to buy it outright now.

- He evades the defensive mandible trap and Brie follows him into the thorax. The others head upwards into Bucketsides to help defend the pea pods.

- Manrat discovers that Graktil is pretty much ready to go! They've dug up most of it, and the heavy elementals up in the stinger can go whenever! For the cheap cheap price of 35000 obols it's Manrat's to command!

- He accepts, wiping out other investors as he does so. Graktil now belongs to Manrat!

--- Give Peas a Chance

- Maxwell and Brie, meanwhile, are up on Bucketsides trying to work out how to defend the unborn hobgoblins and the city below.

- Maxwell thinks up a bright idea - Repel Lightning glyphs! Draw them everywhere, keep them powered, and everyone becomes essentially immune to oppression from the drakencult above!

- He shows the nearby goblins how to do it and they spread out, disseminating the knowledge. Soon Repel-Lightning runes are being drawn on rooftops below.
- Bulgur heads down and creates symbols of wheat on rooftops, supplementing the resisting runes and attracting true believers in wheat to himself.

--- GRAKTIL!

- Manrat has now received full captaincy of the Assault Scorpion. Goblin raiders are hired - they will be the ground troops of the scorpion war.
- Manrat has a choice to make - eject forwards into the city? Or eject backwards into the wastes where they can terrorise for profit?

- He decides on BACKWARDS! Into the WASTES!

- In a surprise change of intention, he orders the scorpion to CLIMB! Upwards to the rim!

- One of the elementals in the stinger, bereft of water due to the sudden change of scorpion orientation, decays rapidly.

-- Ah yes, the negotiator

- A couple of hours later the scorpion had ascended the walls. From a loudspeaker Manrat screams out a call for negotiation! The Rigging is in range of heavy metal attack and he's not afraid to use it!
- Steer Calmer arrives. He's a good negotiator, believes the blue goblins have Drudgespar's best wishes in mind, and like all goblins is the son of a toolmaker.

- Negotiations ensue despite setbacks. Instead of dropping Drudgespar onto the Dwarf arcology below, they'll reconsider. Instead the Scorpion will do all the attacking! The city will be moved instead to a safer location.

- Steer Calmer also agrees publically to gut public services to fund the war machine. Centrist victory!

- The city shifts and begins to rise, revealing a steep thin slide all the way down to the old Dwarf city below...

Total: 7000 exp

OOC: 

- Carter the Chronicler, Cartographer and Paymaster (300 exp/level)
- George the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)

- Ollie the Quartermaster (100 exp/level)

- Kitty the Vanguard and Chef (200 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Level 7 Barbarian: 88268 (Level up at 128000)

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 7 Ratman: 68867 (Level up at 112000)

- Ollie / Brie van der Hells, Level 6 Necromancer: 48571 (Level up at 72000)

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 6 Specialist: 43611 (Level up at 56000)

Session 405 - Blue Whale Blue Goblins

Date: 15th April 1625

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face

Zenith Deity: The Scorned

New Backstory:

- Maxwell had an angry drunk for a parent, which made him force humour into situations to keep them pacified. +2 Dexterity

- Bulgur Son of Borgar shouldn't have kissed that cow, but it made the first move! Once per session, cause someone to make a romantic advance.

Events:

--- Changing Weather

- With last session's dramatic reveal that Gifflewim is now re-infected by the Idea of Thorns, the party sits on the edge of the peculiarly normal well and look out over the glistering blackness of the ferrofluid flats. They are all still weakened by their demon debt, so getting back to Julgoor is the priority.

- Bulgur gives a quick prayer to The Scorned who lurks at zenith today, granting his strikes extra power.

- Also above, barely visible in the dawn light, is the gibbous moon. Its slow spin has brought it's Dragon Face forward - the black silhouette and impact crater of Apocalypse Dragon Ereshkigal as fresh as the day it was thrown at the moon. The party's steps are lighter, then heavier, like breathing. It's easy to misjudge your stride.

- They set off on their various steeds, and as they leave the grassy verge around the well the rain begins to fall. Everything touched by the rain changes subtly. Whorls on skin, new buds on dead wood, dulled edges on steel.
- Those on steeds cover their heads with cloth to keep the rain off, but Zeppelino and his goblin minions instead strip off and walk nude through the metamorphic rain, their skins rippling with strange patterns.

--- I've Got Crabs!

- They carefully navigate the flats, sticking to the rills and mounds that emerge from the black ferrofluid. Other than a squall of particularly bad rain, and a stuttering stop that sends Zeppelino plunging into the ferrofluid, it's a straight shot to the great big bucket walls of  Drudgespar.

- Or so they thought! As they cross a particularly large hump of dry land, white stones pop up and claws whip out to clutch at legs and clamp on arms! Some of Zeppelino's goblins are immediately dragged under the stone trapdoors, their screams dying with them!

- It's crabs! Some sort of trapdoor crab! Maxwell leaps into action but stumbles! Bulgur wrestles the one that attempts to grab him, but Zeppelino is grabbed and pulled into one of their holes!
- Two of the crabs, sated by goblin flesh, start to burrow their way down with their meals. The other goblins run to help them, but to no avail!

- Zeppelino yells for Maxwell to chuck a grenade down the hole where he's wrestling with his crab. "Just do it!!". Both goblin and crab take a chunk of damage, but survive! Zeppelino uses the distraction to gain the upper hand and kick the crab out of its hole, where it falls under the steely knives of his minions.

- Bulgur manages to wrestle the other remaining crab out of its hole. It tries to escape down a different hole, but is crushed by Bulgur's pumpkinhead axe and more goblin stabbings.
- Surprisingly hurt, our heroes field-dress the crabs and claim much crab meat. At least they got dinner out of it!

--- Back in Drudgespar

- The weather clears on their final leg to one of Drudgespar's entrances. It's now a pleasant Spring day!

- They gain entrance, as usual, via Zeppelino vouching for the rest as his minions. Strangely the entrance seems higher up than before.
- They travel through the long oozeblock-lined tunnel and come out into the Buildup. The sun is shining above, bathing the inside of Drudgespar with light. The huge shadow of the blue whale balloon looms overhead. It's no longer half-deflated and in fact looks full to bursting!

- They head through the city looking for the nearest Julgoor shop. Since the city is constantly building on itself, diversions pop up and street layouts change like the whole place is one big roadworks.

- They find a Julgoor's pretty quickly anyway, they're all over the place! Behind the counter is everyone's favourite gold-masked Greed Demon. Behind him something writhes in the dark.

- He's very happy with everyone and removes their curses, although he is surprised to find that his "silly prank" against Gifflewim actually worked that well...

--- Nightmare Scenario

- They find lodgings to rest up in. These are common in Drudgespar, the eternally sinking city means that there's always a slice of the population moving upwards from sludge-whelmed lower homes to newer still-dry places higher in the Buildup.

- The party corrals their ingredients to create "Cancer in a Can" out of crab meat, potato, beans and.. communion wafer. It's merely palatable.

- They go to their separate beds and...

- They wake up in a nightmare. A great tree, covered thickly in THORNS, writhes. Gifflewim is here. He's wrapped in THORN VINES. He spits curses at the party for doing this to him. Julgoor forgave their debt by transferring it to him. He owes Julgoor their debts by the end of May. Red Sand may be enough to break the contract, but that's an unknown. The IDEA OF THORNS will dog their step until his debt is repaid.

- They wake up, all remembering the same dream. Bulgur was offered obols in the dream, but refused. Gifflewim demanded 2000 from Zeppelino and 6000 from Maxwell. They could ignore the debt, to be fair, since the demon curse is off them all. The Idea of Thorns being back, though...

--- Rumours and Businesses

- Zeppelino checks on his investment in the Attack Scorpion, and finds that there's solid growth in the company!
- Alas, Goblin Munitions has gone bankrupt in the interim. Maxwell extracts half the value in liquid cash.

- They hear rumours about town. There's a Nonanist church in the Buildup whose bell has gone silent. The clockmakers of Grendel know the path of the great dragon Mardük as it strides around the wastes. Activating Pylons allows one to mind-control the population of a connected Pyramid. All very intriguing.

--- Turgid Whale

- They're at a bit of a loose end at the moment, so they figure they should check out what's happening with this extremely swollen blue whale balloon. After all, Zeppelino managed to get the higher-up hobgoblin Steer Calmer to take a middle ground vis-a-vis the blue goblin invasion force.

- Getting up to the Rigging is easy in the calm weather. Goods elevators up Bucketsides are running constantly, so you even get a lift some of the way.

- The Rigging is all balloons of various sorts, mostly inflated animals skins. Everything is connected by ropes, rope bridges, long ropes with rope handrails, and further ropes.
- Zeppelino has the Higher-Up top hat (with emergency parachute propeller) and classic Higher-Up hooked canes, so he finds it very easy to shimmy around the ropework. The others take their time, but it's fine. Clear days are good days up in the Rigging.

- Below they spot a bunch of winged blue goblins burning down a shack in Bucketsides. Regular goblins run out of the burning building and are sniped by electric beams. Pamphlets scatter all over.

- The blue goblins up here are EXTREMELY impressed to meet Bulgur. He's the guy who fought and defeated their leader via a battle in the sky, and that all while Bulgur was steadily floating upwards! Real celebrity stuff!

- This gives the whole party the leniency to approach the Blue Whale Balloon itself.

--- Inside the Whale

- They clamber across ropes until they get to the gondola slung beneath the great whale balloon. It really is full, the skin strains against the gases within. There are handprints pressing out from the inside and slickering electricity.

- There's a rope slide down to the gondola. Within is, naturally, Steer Calmer! They converse, and he tells them that the goblins are splitting water into hydrogen in there, and their efforts are actually dragging Drudgespar out of the bog below!

- The party want to go in, but are warned that it's pure hydrogen in there so they'll need breathing masks. Bulgur will be fine, he's a barbarian, but the others craft (and test) Make-Air runes before they enter the skin.
- A guide goes with them and describes the situation. Hobgoblins are the foremen, minions are hard at work splitting water into hydrogen and oxygen. The hydrogen goes up, the oxygen goes down, and so it goes. Ruptured gas sacks, once the main lifting device for the whale, are now rest zones for the goblin electrolysers.

--- Mark of Royalty

- Bulgur jumps up with his anti-grav shoes and reaches a gas sack. He sees rank upon rank of giant blue pea-pods in there. The resting goblins recognise him immediately and get him to sign stuff.

- Bulgur realises that the POWERLAD book he just signed was owned by a goblin who truly believes in feudalism! The goblin is called Murderperson and brings out a peapod throne and has Bulgur sit upon it. He truly contains the idea of Royalty.

- Bulgur gives Murderperson a box containing Rupert's Drops, such that he can burst the balloon when the time comes for Bulgur to ascend to kinghood.

- The others have since found out that the blue goblins plan to raise Drudgespar out of the ground and reveal the ancient Dwarven arcology beneath, the better to take that technology for themselves in their mission to kill the Immotile in the Place of Honour. Another thread to draw on later, perhaps.

- They leave the whale with many things on their minds. There's just a lot going on right now, honestly..

Total: 9000 exp

--- Foes Defeated:

- A clutch of Trapdoor Crabs (300 exp)

Total: 300 exp

--- OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler, Paymaster and Quartermaster (300 exp/level)

- Charles the Expedition Leader, Vanguard, and Chef (300 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Level 7 Barbarian: 84543 (Level up at 128000)

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 7 Goblin: 67769 (Level up at 128000)
*LEVEL UP! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Goblin! +Backstory!

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 6 Specialist: 39486 (Level up at 56000)

Session 396 - Rats in the Basement

 Date: 28th January 1625

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent

Moon Face: Clean Face

Zenith Deity: Alaunus

Returning Characters:

- Brie van der Hells. Necromancer. Surprised to find her party at an actual party.

- Bulgur, Son of Borgar. Barbarian. On a comedown.
- Manrat Snels. Ratman. Recently looted the chillout room.

- Nines. Inheritor. Quietly cloning the dead.

Events:

--- You Wake Up at a Rave

- It's the chillout room in the Visco City club, and our partied-out party are emerging from the post-party funk. Bulgur confessed that he wasn't a real king last night, but Manrat disagrees and swears fealty. It's very sweet!
- Manrat and Brie are once more emotionally entangled due to his insistence that he and Brie share a mother. Saves affect both. Bulgur and Nines, meanwhile, need some space. +1 to rolls when the other is far, but not out of sight.

- They leave the chillout room and pass through the 24 hour rave to the club entrance. They get stamps on their wrists, and their weapons back.

--- Shopping and Fortunes

- They leave into the torchlit light of debatable dawn - it's hard to tell underground.
- The shopping district is here, past the deep slime puddle that contains the goop goblin now dubbed Sloppy Giuseppe.

- The Goblin Market is a sort of popup market with a load of shops. Manrat and Brie see a soothsayer and stop in for fortunes - "A Stray Quail Will Bring Hungry Dogs" and "A Red Eye Will Go Blind" respectively. Hmmm.

- Brie finds a Jade Merchant and buys a comically oversized greatsword made of jade! It's fragile, but looks so cool that it adds to Reaction checks.
- Nines finds a snake merchant and buys a venomous snake that he intends to milk for his mushroom head. Indeed. Bulgur buys a fried boa constrictor as a snack. In it's belly... a quail!

- Manrat, who is at the rat-infested-basement weapons shop they heard of from a rumour, throws the quail down the stairs. Indeed, hungry dogs are attracted! The prophecy was true!

--- Gravity Rats

- They send the nasty fox in (previously gained from a pumpkin patch) and hear YOWLS AND GROWLS! Is the fox dead?!
- Manrat investigates to find a dark slimy room and the fox, who has multiple stab wounds! The door hangs off its hinges, and rats swarm on the ceiling. He sends a rat of his own up there, and about halfway up the gravity inverts and the rat treats the ceiling as the floor! How mysterious! The other rats run off.
- The room itself is one large shared warehouse for all the shops upstairs. Ladders (rope or metal) hang from beside trapdoors above.
- Brie strokes the fox one last time and snaps its neck, collecting the Last Breath. She also takes the tail and adds it to the hilt of her jade greatsword, so cool!
- Manrat crawls up the wall and discovers that he, too, sticks to the ceiling! He's rat enough to stick! He hears the rats whispering from their upside-down dens... an enemy is coming.

--- Rat Tails

- Bulgur enters and is attacked! It's some sort of huge worm holding a dagger! It stabs at him while something grabs his legs from the darkness.
- He breaks free and smashes the worm. It's actually a rat tail! Holding a dagger! The black slime rat-shape connected to the tail collapses, but the tail continues to writhe. 

- Brie sucks in a Last Breath and sends her skeleton and (fast) zombie to attack! They tear at it, then Nines leaps onto the table and kills it with a weapon polish based firebomb.

- It becomes evident that the real creature is the tail, and the rat is merely some sort of slimy simulacrum of a rat!

--- More of Them are Coming

- There's more to this place. Visco City is itself built on the city that came before, building upwards to escape from the ooze. The collapsed streets form tangled networks of psuedo-tunnels, several of which lead away from this shored-up warehouse.
- Manrat, on the ceiling, picks a direction and crawls. In the wide-necked tunnel he spots more of the rat-tail-things. He shoots one, hitting the tail, which writhes in pain while the rat-shaped ooze body doesn't even react. They scurry into the warehouse to attack!

- Nines, near the soothsayer's section of the warehouse, finds a jar of prophecies and throws it, wracking the rats with futures!
- Brie forms a flesh minion from the much-abused corpse of the fox and sends it into battle too.
- Manrat throws his electro-bomb and Nines activates two of the prophecies - "Something Blue Will Harm You" and "Follow the Crow to Find the Way". The electricity is blue. The Crow is an oblique reference to the afterlife. The rat-tails swarm towards the electricity and ZAP! Almost all die!
- The last one flees, but with a single heft of his spear Bulgur nails it in the tail! It dies!

--- Ooze Test

- They check out this black ooze that's been coating the floor, from which the rat bodies of the tails was formed.
- It phases through living material, but clings to the inanimate. Very odd.
- Nines uses his ground-firming abilities to firm up the surface of the ooze, making it sticky but walkable. Live rats bubble up from beneath, now standing on this terra firma-ish surface.

--- Alas, Meat Minion

- Brie scouts ahead with the meat minion, and as with the fox before this doesn't go super well. They hear a meaty "oh no" and the shlorping sounds of rat-tails slithering.

- One of Manrat's rats, scouting separately, reports that the Meat Minion is under attack from dagger-wielding rat-tails who live up on a sort of shelf of collapsed undercity.
- Nines sneaks in and uses his massive mushroom head to spray poison into the room, then runs off. Behind, the rat-tails are terribly weakened.

--- Looter Shooter

- Manrat and Brie, meanwhile, have looted the warehouse. Manrat grabs a ball filled with iron filings that points north, Brie finds a rainbow bomb.
- They run back in to GLORIOUS BATTLE! The poison has weakened the rat-tails, making them (amongst other things) far more susceptible to Gambits!
- Carnage ensues. Bulgur charges up the incline, slicing back and forth with his spear. Brie does the same, but breaks her new jade greatsword (better for showing off than killing, alas).
- Nines hits a rat-tail with another, smashing them into each other.
- Brie kills the last one with a knife. The rat tail dies, and the slime-body tries to run away before collapsing into goo.
- Nines takes his sword and coats it in ferrofluid from a nearby stream of the stuff. It's really cool.

--- "What the Hell's Going On Down There?"

- Some Goblins ask this, poking their heads down through a trapdoor.

- Upon discovering that the "rats" have been killed, there is much rejoicing! The merchants can access their stuff again!
- Various things are gifted and traded, including a new jade greatsword for Brie (who had been taking the jadesmith to task for the poor quality). She also has her rainbow bomb identified - it reverses meatoid sexuality within 50'! Useful! (?)
- Further along the rat-tail den, Bulgur and Manrat are approaching the end. There's a boiling nest of rat-tails... next to a pile of shiny stuff! Hexagonal holes appear on the necks of the ooze rats.
- Manrat assumes they're adapting, like the Red Elves, and presents his Martian Bible.
- In voices copied from others, one of the rats speaks! It's willing to trade this treasure... for the sweet Red Cream.
- Done deal, Manrat trades it in, and the rat-tails scurry off through smaller holes and away.

--- Loot!

- The shiny treasure is, in fact, shiny treasure! silver coins, pouches of gems, all the rest!

- Everything is pocketed and shared.

--- Ominous

- They turn back and consider what to do next. Deeper in? Or leave this place?
- From deeper in, they hear an ominous clanking.
- Back towards the market, worried murmering and deep thumps from above...

Total: 12000 exp

Treasures Taken:

- Spherical Compass
- Gay Bomb

- 2 Crates full of Rare Spices (2500 exp)

- Barrel of Lubricating Oil

- Satchel of Unrefined Gold Ore (500 exp)

- 976 silver (976 exp)
- 4 pouches of saffron (3000 exp)
- 3 large Lapis Lazuli (900 exp)

- 5 glimmering Quartz (250 exp)
Total: 8126 exp

Enemies Trounced:

- A load of Rat-Tail ooze monsters (500 exp)

Total: 500 exp

OOC:

- Kitty the Chronicler and Paymaster (200 exp/level)

- George the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)

- Ollie the "Cartman" and "Rolly Guy" (200 exp/level)

Totals:
- Carter / Nines, Level 6 Inheritor: 39192 (Level up at 72000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Limit! +Backstory!

- Kitty / Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Level 6 Barbarian: 34592 (Level up at 64000)
Level Up! +1d8 HP! +1 to Saves! +Barbarian Power! +1 Rage Attack! +Backstory!

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 5 Ratman: 26825 (Level up at 28000)

- Ollie / Brie van der Hells, Level 5 Necromancer: 23825 (Level up at 36000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 to Saves! +Free Spell! +1 Mana! +Backstory!

Session 395 - Sustainably Sourced GMO Wheat Goblins

 Date: 21st January 1625

Moon Phase: Third Quarter

Moon Face: Dragon-Faced Moon

Zenith Deity: The Scorned

Business Updates:

- Zeppelino's Genuine Milk has franchised! There's now an outlet in Drudgespar!

- Nines' Doomsday Loans business has collapsed due to an aggressive buyout from Julgoor! Return to claim half the stake.

- Nines' Goblin Munitions has hit an early rocky patch but remains steady. Risk is increased (possibly due to the dangerous nature of the bombs).

Events:

--- Meat-Faced Goblin Rumours

- Between sessions, Bulgur has managed to bully the party's way into a Goblin's house for the evening. He promises that they'll cook food and tell stories of the world outside Drudgespar!

- The Goblin himself has a big scar down his face that has been fixed with meat, giving him quite a hideous look. The result of an industrial accident with an Oozeblock Machine and a emergency Meat Mage magic. He's nice enough though!

- During the evening meal he tells them rumours he's heard:

> Marduk the great blue dragon roams the Wastes with a goblin city on his back, every week he warps to a random pylon and drains its energy!
> Anyone up for a classic rats in the basement quest? My shop in Visco City was overrun by the fucking things. Outsized reward to anyone who can wipe out a bunch of rats, I'm talking permanent food and board, 6000 obols on completion, and maybe an extra questline to follow! They're big mind, big and meaty, and they kept copying my voice!
> There's a place Drowntown that never had a final party, yet people keep seeing people heading in there? Might be a drug den?
> Dissident wheat-loving Goblin Buddies have seized an old growhouse Drowntown and are growing wheat-based goblins!!!

--- Dark Descent

- Drowntown? Visco City? These must be deeper parts of Drudgespar!

- Bulgur is instantly seized by the need to check out these alleged Wheat Goblins, so the party decides to go down... down into Drowntown.
- On the way they see some other shops, including a hat shop and a potion seller! They also find a warehouse that will stable horses and wagons for a fee, which they duly accept.

- They also discover that there's basically a Julgoor shop at every corner in the Buildup. The greed demon is doing well! The shopkeeper-Julgoor is usually a Goblin, but in the darkness behind is an ominous writhing...
- They find a way down (they're not signposted, but easily found) to Drowntown and descend. As the gunge rises it takes over the buildings, forcing the Goblins to build upwards and forming the relatively gunge-free Buildup - the main city.
- Drowntown is on the edge of this transformation - slippery gunge puddles on the floor, and light from above is blocked out by the rising city. It's a place of parties as people give a final farewell to their old homes, and a place of industry as the ever-pumping Oozeblock Machines transform the rising ooze into the purple-veined black bricks that build the walls of this place.

- While they're searching for the Wheat Goblin location, they witness a minor disaster! Gunge breaches through a retaining wall and drowns a street in thigh-height gunk. Unsuspecting goblins are caught in the flow and drown in the tar. It's a fact of life down here, and since the Bud-Goblins are easily replaceable it's no big tragedy.

--- At the Sign of the Wheatsheaf

- After navigating switchbacks, collapsed streets, and asking for directions more times than strictly necessary, they find their way to a collapsing warehouse. There are sheafs of wheat - real wheat! - flanking the main doors, although a couple of other entrances have fallen in as the warehouse succumbed to the rising black goop.

- Bulgur marches straight through the front door and declares himself their King! In front of him is a barricade of wheat bushels and armed goblins!
- The inside of the warehouse is a mess - channels have been dug through the rising goop, but it's clear that this won't last.
- The goblins seem confused... they already have a king!
- Meanwhile Nines is making his way onto the roof. All the struts and scaffolding that support the Buildup above make it easy, but noisy.

- A goblin approaches but mocks at the idea of a "meatoid" being a King of Goblins. Bulgur grabs him by the neck and flings him over the barricade!

--- Nines Prepares to Assassinate Another Local Community Leader

- Above, Nines has found a massive collapse in the roof. He's looking down at a proper field of wheat, supplied by real water. Pale yellow wheat-coloured Goblins, wheat literally growing up their spines, are tending to the crops. The wheat grows thicker with their tread. It looks like it's really working! He even sees a giant "Wheatsel", a sort of wheat-topiary in the shape of a huge weasel, being led through the fields.
- He screws together his flintlock sniper rifle - it's a perfect sniper perch. Below, he sees Bulgur rush in and demand to see the enemy king! He also sees the Wheatsel released from its chains. It bounds towards Bulgur!

- Nines sights down the gun. He could fire... but he could also save the element of surprise for the Wheat King when he arrives...
- It's no real issue. Bulgur absolutely destroys the Wheatsel with a single blow from the Pumpkinhead Axe!
- The Wheat-Goblins fall to their knees. This was foretold! The Reaper King is here!

--- The Lair of the Wheat King

- The King is not forthcoming, so Bulgur decides to do it himself.
- He strides forth, a cowed wheat goblin before him, the rest of the party at his back.
- Nines crawls through vents, classic style.
- The main group follow until they make it to the throne room! Nines peeks out from a vent above.
- On a throne of wheat, a Great Wheat Goblin sits interwoven. In the corner of the room, behind a curtain of hanging wheat, there is a glimmer of gold.
- Bulgur declares himself the King of Wheat! There is a standoff. This goblin considers himself to be the Grower King, the equal-and-opposite to the Reaper King represented by Bulgur. The Grower King will grow his power here, then soon go off to take over the Wheatlands as the true king!
- The Idea of Wheat does not imply the use of wheat - it merely wishes to be grown! Reaping the wheat is surplus to requirements!
- Bulgur declares a trial by combat! The Grower King asks him who his champion shall be. Kings do not fight, you see.

--- Champions of the Wheat Throne

- The Grower King sends forth his wheat golem! A goblin grown monstrous through his access to the power of wheat! The Reaper King sends forth... 4 goblins in a trenchcoat, courtesy of Zeppelino. Each holding a bomb sourced from Goblin Munitions, courtesy of Nines.
- It's not a fair fight. The suicide bombers win instantly at the cost of their own lives.
- Debate resumes. It was an equal victory, so surely equality between the Kings?
- The Grower King proposes an alliance, sealed with a marriage! He'll marry one of his wheat goblin children to the Reaper King's child!

- Bulgur has no kids, but he raise cows back in the day. It transpires that a cow-child is completely valid! The goblins don't draw much of a difference between meatoids, you see.

- It's agreed with no additional violence. Phew!
- They decide to check out this "rats in the basement" rumour, heading down below Drowntown and into Visco City beneath. They seek Glorpon's Weapon Hole. They ask about the deeper city and are told the directions to the main way in.

-- Deep House

- Visco City is, to its inhabitants, the "real Drudgespar". Lesser people build up and away from the sludge. The brave people of Visco City don't abandon their homes, they reinforce them! The gunge rises, yet they remain. Alas, it's liable to collapse at any time due to the evil Dwarves who are undermining everything the goblins have built.

- They reach the main (or possibly the only, due to sludge breaches) entrance to Visco City. Oozeblock stairs go down to enclosed rooms. It's dungeon vibes down here. The walls are shored up against the rising tide of gunge and weave through old streets and older homes.

- The first thing they notice is a rhythmic unce-unce-unce. Oh yea baby, it's like the Zion rave down here. A goblin in a deep pool of black goo, dripping and reforming bodyparts, tells the confused meatoids that the shops are that way, Da Clurb is that way, and over that way is a machine that leads deeper. Zeppelino touches the slime. He can't quite get it off!
- Of course the only real option is the rave. Bulgur barges through without checking his weapons (bad vibes) while everyone else divests of their murder stuff at the cloakroom.
- It's a fucken RAVE baby! Goblins are noshing their chops off hyped up on Unmandy! Smoke and lights and a beat you can feel in your chest! 

--- Dff *tiss* dff *tiss* dff *tiss* dff *tiss* 

- Bulgur is spotted a mile off by a dude who's just there to sell Unmandy. Our resident Barbarian is very obviously not a cop and paints his gums with powder (the first one is free, of course). His inner eye opens and... oh shit, everyone here is a person with a life as beautiful and rich as his own. The music sings in his veins and then...
- The drop hits.
- It's like being gut-punched by the sun.
- Meanwhile Manrat has found the chillout room. A goblin says calming meditative stuff to people who are either relaxed or asleep. Lots of skin contact in here. There's also lootable stuff - a small keg of sour beer, a bag of rock salt, a bag of unrefined copper ore. These are quietly removed. There's also a goblin corpse (he ain't breathing) which Nines absorbs and turns into an additional minion.
- Meanwhile Nines is scurrying after a "murder dealer" that he heard offering services. He follows said dealer down a corridor, finding a sort of Korean fusion place run by goblins.
- There's also a bar and... a Dwarf?! I thought they hated Dwarves here?!?

- Turns out this Dwarf is "one of the good ones" and is well-liked by the regulars! He gives Zeppelino some alcohol to try and wash the gunk off his palms. It's not really working. It's like the gunk is trying to avoid being cleaned...

Total: 9000 exp

Treasures:

- Small keg of sour beer (200 exp)
- Bag of Rock Salt (200 exp)
- Bag of Unrefined Copper Ore (200 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Foes Defeated:

- The Wheatsel, splatted. (50 exp)
- The Wheat King, mollified. (750 exp)

Total: 800 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler, Paymaster & Quartermaster (300 exp/level)
- Kitty the Expedition Leader & Vanguard (200 exp/level)
- George the Cartogrpaher & Chef (200 exp/level)

Exp Total:

- Carter / Nines, Level 5 Inheritor: 34035 (Level up at 36000)

- Kitty / Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Level 5 Barbarian: 28435 (Level up at 32000)

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 5 Goblin: 21001 (Level up at 32000)

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 5 Ratman: 21168 (Level up at 28000)

Session 393 - Welcome to Drudgespar!

 Date: 7 January 1625

Moon Phase: First Quarter

Moon Face: Clean Face

Zenith Deity: Oberon

Returning Characters:

- Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Barbarian, former cowherd.

- Brie van der Hells, Necromancer, different minions than expected.

- Manrat Snels, Ratman, possible missing link.
- Nines, Inheritor, shapeshifting cart-tracker.
- Nostradama, Nonanist Cleric still trying to get to grips with her powers.
- Zeppelino, Goblin, returning home.

New Backstory:

- Manrat Snels father was a strange psalm-spewing statue in the Wastes, via a post-apocalyptic cult that worshipped him in strange and secretive ways. Adam Snels himself, said statue, was a depressed alcoholic as a result. +2 Con.

- Zeppelino had a clutch of Bud-Goblins who were creepily obsessed with him, so he fled! His flying machine led to his crashing in the Wastes, where he met the party. If an enemy has an equal chance of who to attack, they won't target you.

Events:

--- It's Time for Business!

- The party re-emerge from the milky Christmas Special portal and find themselves back in the Red Elf bubble-town built around the reality-mining Marlingspike.
- The first order of business is... set up some businesses! New business rules go!
- Nines forms "Doomsday Loans" - a Wild risk business - with 2500 obols.
- Zeppelino forms "Zeppelino's Genuine Milke (Non Fraudulent)" - a Wild risk business - with 500 obols.

- We also establish that Brie van der Hells owns a rental property in Bunkertown - a Safe risk business - worth 1700 obols. Alas, it seems this month the value has gone down, possibly due to various shenanigans in Bunkertown.

--- Just What Is a Marlingspike?

- They ask around (cheerfully failing to comment on the giant sized Tiny Tim that Brie brought back from Muppet Christmas) about whether other Marlingspikes have towns around them. The answer is yes... occasionally. Others are visited by travelling Red Elves. All discharge once a month though.

- Manrat, the only Red Elf Religion (Quislism) convert of the group, gets some quests from the Red Elf he's badgering. Either bring the brain of a Deep One frog monster, or 43 human sacrifices so that they can be thrown into a pit in the north during a ritual.

--- Where Next?

- The party decides where to go next. Two big cities hold their interest, as does the promise of exploring the mysterious Underways below the wastes.
- They hold a vote, and Bulgur tie-breaks. To Drudgespar!

- Everyone's got some sort of mount, whether living beast or bone-construct, except for poor Nostradama who is poor and on foot. They buy her a mount! Such solidarity!

--- Into the Snow

- With that they head of into the snow. Winter days are short and the exploration mechanics aren't so good when it's a bunch of mounted people on separate steeds, so there is some swift recalibration.
- It's hard to get lost anyway, since they're following the edge of the ferrofluid marshes. On the map they are rivers, but up close it's more of a Swamps of Sadness or Dead Marshes vibe.

- Over the course of hours they ride together and have idle chatter. Nines and Nostradama have developed a friendly rivalry. Manrat and Brie have had some sort of unfriendly spat and are now emotionally entangled.

- In the middle-distance they see the spire of a church! Also on the way but somewhat in another direction, sucking grey clay flats.

--- It's Like the Mould All Over Again (it's not, I swear)

- Nines goes off alone, accompanied only by a couple of Zeppelino's goblins, to get some of the wet grey clay. Everyone else thinks the church sounds better. Manrat hopes it's Denialists, his father was a Denialist you see.
- Nines finds that the clay is wet and malleable, somewhat acidic, and absorbs moisture like nobody's business. He takes a whole lot as trade goods.
- The others approach the church and find that it's actually a monastery in a classical Nonanist style. Down the slope beyond is a village of little houses, hill-shaped like hobbit holes, with cheery lights coming from within. The ground is firm and has a number of white threads all through it.
- Bulgur knocks a powerful Barbarian knock at the monastery door (echoes of Lindisfarne). The doors open and reveal... no-one! But oh, look down, it's a Halfling in priestly robes! Elderly but with a sharp beard shave.
- Bulgur stumbles back when he realises that the Halfling-priest has mycellial fibres stretching from his back into the darkness! It's a Toasted One!
- The others see, down in the town, that all of the villagers have exited their homes and are looking up towards the monastery with hollow eyes.

- The party RUN!!! Back on the horses! Back into the wastes! No more threads! Never again!

--- Welcome to Drudgespar!

- They meet up with Nines as the sun sets and the weather starts to turn - no longer snowfall, it's the Mushroom Slush of winter. Fast-growing fungus snakes up from the cold ground, escaping the snow.
- It gets into bags and winds up legs, but in a lovely turn of events is not interested in biological orifices in the way that Zeppelino was worried/excited about.

- Nines utilises the ground-firming abilities he stole from a dead tree monster to assist the party in getting across the Ferrofluid Fens in the dark.
- Soon they reach the walls of Drudgespar! Like a great drill plunging into the ground, the inverted cone of the city walls disappear up into the heavens. Lights and fires glimmer on the far-away lip. Back in the fens they hear a sound like a woodchipper, and decide to move swiftly on to find an entrance.

--- The Colossal Timtan

- Rather than finding an entrance, Brie has a better idea!
- With the power of CHRISTMAS NONSENSE, Tiny Tim the little frog muppet grows to a COLOSSAL SIZE!!

- He puts the whole party gently on the top of the walls as goblins flee in terror! After five years... it has returned!

- The party look down over Drudgespar. An inverted cone, hollow, endlessly building up, endlessly sinking. Far below is the city proper, the bottom of a huge bowl made of structures endlessly climbing on top of each other. Buildings crust the inner walls, tapering down and down. Above, connected by a mesh of ropes and rigging, are zeppelins and balloons floating far above the city below.

- It's the Goblin Capital, the Sinking City of the Wastes. They're finally here.

- One thing though... how do they get down?

--- Drop and Definitely Do Not Roll

- Horns are blaring out along the wall as the guards sound the alarm. Other horns take up the sound, the further away the more staccato the horn-blasts.
- Tiny Tim vanishes in a puff of pine-scented Christmas Steam and takes up residence on Brie's shoulder.

- The party hustle along the wall in the opposite direction to the way the guards fled. They soon come to a guardpost - a thin bed, a crossbow on the wall, and... good god what is it? It's... it's... a jar of pickled onions! They are way more impressed by this than the crossbow, which they also take.
- They also find the hatch with a ladder down. It descends to a poorly lit street, high up the wall. The street is clearly just the tops of houses built up from far below. No matter, it's a thoroughfare.
- A Goblin called Bigins sees them and after talking respectfully to Zeppelino invites them into its house. It's surprising to see non-goblins up here! He's definitely a Bud-Goblin, not a controller Hobgoblin, and there are others like him in the house. Zeppelino's bud-goblins go over to chat, speaking in Goblin Ergot.
- Bulgur can speak Ergot for some reason - the limited language of the Bud-Goblins - and hears the way they talk about their masters. He also eats almost all of the guest rite canapes.

--- A Nice Dinner to End the Session

- Given that their clothes are full of Slush Fungus, and that the goblins know that you can just throw your clothes out into the cold in the evening to get rid of it, they all get naked and wear the filthy rags of their hosts. Bulgur lets it all hang out, of course.

- Manrat cooks the very well named "Bowl with Diced Stuff in It" - Slopworm, Pumpkin, Pickled Onion, Slush Mushroom, Rat. It gives them extra oomph when running away... but also gives people some bad stomach cramps. It remains to be seen what that means for tomorrow...

Total: 10000 exp

Treasure Looted:

- A crossbow
- A jar of pickled onions

Roles:

- Carter the Chronicler, Paymaster, Cartographer AND Quartermaster (400 exp/level)5

- Kitty the Expedition leader (100 exp/level)5

- Ollie the Vanguard (100 exp/level)4
- George the Chef (100 exp/level)5

Exp Totals:

- Carter / Nines, Level 5 Inheritor: 28435 (Level up at 36000)

- Kitty / Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Level 5 Barbarian: 24335 (Level up at 32000)

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 5 Goblin: 16401 (Level up at 32000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +Goblin! +Backstory!

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 5 Ratman: 16568 (Level up at 28000)

- Ollie / Brie van der Hells, Level 4 Necromancer: 15968 (Level up at 18000)

- Zoe / Nostradama, Level 3 Cleric of Nonanism: 7843 (Level up at 9000)