Friday, 16 June 2017

Session 140 - Are We The Goodies?

Man that was a hell of a session.
Who knew that you'd turn all heroic at the first opportunity?

We've got Moondin getting back under control, Nix possibly becoming the head of a whole new cult, and best of all Rake has become the Steward of Moondin!
Meanwhile off in the wilds, Andromeda no doubt plots her next move.

This has been late enough already (expect Henry's session's recap soon) so I'd better fire it off, but god damn was that one long highlight of a session.

I'm off again next Tuesday so we'll return to regular programming on the 27th, I'm pretty sure Henry's running another session though? Anyway, not my problem ha ha ha.
On with the really really long recap!



Inline images 1
- Tom draws Blue Jon in all his glory

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- Charles depicts Rake's discovery that Castigate lives!

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- Ollie gives us a legitimately lovely landscape showing Lulu's last glance back at Fortress Deathfrost



Session 140 - Are We The Goodies?
Campaign Date:
Thursday, 19 June, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Carrie Meleste, Cleric, too nice to be a torturer so became a doctor for the prostitutes of Moondin.

New Backstory:
- Blue John's life was changed forever when his military unit was attacked by mould people from the swamp! He was the only survivor, it scarred him forever. (+1 to reaction rolls with subterranean beings)

Enemies Defeated:- A whole lot of mould junkies, killed cinematically (100 exp)
- Servants of the Ghost Dragon, persuaded to follow (50 exp)
Total: 150 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Castigate Pox's Living Axe and Armour
- A whole lot of gunpowder, given to the Whores
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled around 18 miles (60 exp)
- 2 random encounters (100 exp)
Total: 460 exp

Events:
- Rake awakens! He's on a hospital bed in the barracks. By his bedside is new character Carrie Meleste, who he ignores as he springs up and runs to find someone of authority. (50 exp)
- A guard tells Rake that the arena is under control, guards are assisting with the rescue of anyone still trapped, Sergeant Lupus is the man to speak to there. (50 exp)
- Rake runs outside and he sees Blue Jon eating an icecream with evident delight. "I need to get to the Stadium!" he cries! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon snaps his fingers not once, but TWICE! Rake is ENLARGED and FLYING! It's Super-Rake! Yes that's right, Blue Jon got the most balla spell in the game on level-up. (50 exp)
- From the skies, Rake can see much. Most troubling - the mould men have begun pouring from Moonminster, the centre of the town is in anarchy, and there are gunshots from the red light district. (50 exp)
- Carrie heads for the red light zone, she finds it barricaded with prostitutes with guns on the rooftops. Recognising their doctor, the whores let Carrie in and tell her what's going on. (50 exp)
- Main goal - defend themselves from the looters in the anarchy zone of the city centre. Other issues - some dude infested a bunch of prostitutes with Mould recently and they've had to be quarantined. (50 exp)
- A well-endowed statue is used to bar the main barricade. This is important enough to be written down. (50 exp)
- Rake lands near the shattered Arena, the whole south wall's been blown open. He uses Fly+Enlarge to lift a huge rock off of a grateful survivor buried under the rubble. Proper hero shit. (50 exp)
- Rake flies down to a guard who seems in charge... it's Sergeant Lupus! On hearing that there's shit going down at Moonminster, he sends off some men to help out. Rake sticks around to rescue people and help with the lifting. (50 exp)
- The non-Rake non-Carrie contingent have decided to Do Something about the mould zone. They head to check the place out. Seems that the guards and necromancers don't trust each other but have locked down the main road. (50 exp)
- Seeing the haze of mould drifting through the mould zone streets, the party inform Necromancers and Guards of the Take-Light-Earth masks. Only the Necromancers seem willing to use them. (50 exp)
- This is fine because Undead are the perfect uninfestable anti-Mould troops. Hurrah! The party join them going house by house, slaughtering junkies where they lie tripping out. (50 exp)
- Rake flies towards the mould zone with a huge rock! Holding it aloft he gives a rousing speech to the uncertain Guard forces, then flies over to Moonminster and chucks the boulder through the cathedral wall! (50 exp)
- Carrie asks where she might find a stockpile of oil - in the anarchy zone unfortunately. (50 exp)
- Rake flies over the anarchy zone towards the red light district. Warning shots from the roofs make him fly in slowly with hands raised. They're not trusting of men right now and Rake makes a bad impression. (50 exp)
- Zena, POWERLAD and the rest are helping to invade the mould zone. Pervasive but thin clouds of spores everywhere, thankfully absorbed by the masks. (50 exp)
- Skeletons are the perfect anti-mould troops, they can't get high or infested. There is very little resistance since it's basically just junkies getting high. The junkies are slaughtered, house by house and room by room. (50 exp)
- Rake tries to persuade the hookers to help quell the anarchy zone. They tell him to fuck off before they shoot him. He flies off, disappointed. (50 exp)
- Rake's Fly is about to wear off, so he zooms over to the rubble of the Arena to get Castigate Pox's rad axe. He holds it aloft... and hears a voice in his mind. (50 exp)
- "Ah! Rake Hacker! I had hoped it would be you who would wield me!" (50 exp)
- It's the big man himself, soul ensconced within the axe! Each piece of his hollow armour, each inscribed with some strange symbols, fly through the air and attach to Rake. Power armour! (50 exp)
- Castigate says that he's still weak, will need some time to get his power back. If Rake lets him, he'd be very grateful to be worn around while trying to get his city back under control. (50 exp)
- As of now it's no-encumbrance power armour, a magic greataxe that can cast Necromancer spells, and Castigate's voice in Rake's ear. (50 exp)
- He runs, assisted by the armour, towards the mould zone. Meanwhile in the mould zone, Team Kill-Mould is chatting with a Necromancer and discover people think a giant dragon destroyed the stadium! "Oh shit yea". (50 exp)
- They head in towards the rock-broken breach of the cathedral with Necromancer support, killing as they go. (50 exp)
- Looks fucked up inside Moonminster. Spores gust from within. Piles of bodies grown together against the walls and the floor. Lots of blood as the rock took out a bunch of them. Rake catches up and they enter. (50 exp)
- Torches on, spores sparkling and crackling around the flame, entering the spore-haze. Each person's mask constantly pulling the spores in and surrounding each person with a strange halo. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Nix is heading over to the red light district, via the anarchy zone at the city centre. She witnesses some looters, Necromancer security team running in to deal with it. (50 exp)
- She keeps going, eventually reaching the main barricade. Hookers with guns peer down from above. She is questioned, but Carrie hears her voice and comes out to support her. (50 exp)
- Nix is allowed in, and together they approach the woman who's loosely in charge here - Ophelia. Attempt to persuade her to get the whores to stage a "Duvan Coup" and seize control of the city. (50 exp)
- She's reticent to help, but she does know where a big gunpowder cache can be found. Nix and Carrie basically want to give them the gunpowder in exchange for eventual influence. Three hookers decide to join the raid into the anarchy zone. Lock and load! (50 exp)
- Back at the cathedral, the team are exploring. No real threats just yet, it seems. Blue Jon scans for the nearest staircase. They go in that direction,try to open a door... and it's blocked from the other side simply by weight of mould-bodies! (50 exp)
- Some attempts at setting fire to the lot of them are made... to no avail. More fire is needed! And the moist mould doesn't burn easily. The team bug out to get more flammables. (50 exp)
- Over in the anarchy zone, Nix, Carrie and their three companions are quickly quietly carefully heading towards the gunpowder magazine. In their way... a burning effigy of a dragon! Surrounded by weirdo cultists! (50 exp)
- They declare themselves Servants of the Ghost Dragon and try to convert them! Praise the ghost dragon! (50 exp)
- They reply that the ghost dragon is totes bullshit and anger the cultists! They are attacked! To my surprise and amusement, one of the hookers was holding her gun the wrong way round and shoots herself in the heart! (50 exp)
- Her sister falls to the ground next to her, weeping and wailing. The cultists have noticed Nix's basilisk now though... and Nix persuades them that it is a child of the ghost dragon. (50 exp)
- The cultists totally join Nix's CULT OF THE NEW DRAGON! Good stuff! (50 exp)
- The inflated group continues, finding some guards fighting with some anarchists. Carrie tells the guards she'll tell their mothers. "My mum's dead!". She'll tell a Necromancer to tell their mothers. "Fuck!". Next level shit. (50 exp)
- They reach the gunpowder store and loot a bunch of barrels of gunpowder. They bring them back to the red light district to great admiration. The hookers trust Nix now! (50 exp)
- Team Mould-Killer leave the cathedral and head away, soon coming to the distrusting factions of Necromancers and Guards gathered at the edge of the mould zone. (50 exp)
- Striding forth, Rake/Castigate lets forth a rallying cry! Castigate lives on... in Rake! The perfect expression of unity between Necromancer and Guard! Together we are stronger! Unite under the banner of... CASTIRAKE PACKER! (50 exp)
- Rake enacts emergency measures until such time as the city is back under control, and liberally applies debatably meaningful titles to his friends. (50 exp)
- Downtime ensues! But first... Rake faces a grilling from the media. They're not totally sold on Rake's on-the-spot answers, but when I rolled up his competition's answers earlier it turns out they sucked waaaaay more. Rake wins! (50 exp)
- NOW Downtime ensues! Blue Jon researches his sick new spell - Sculpt Familiar. POWERLAD learned Fly! Rake donates a bunch of money to the Arena rebuild efforts.
- Everyone basically spends liberally on charity and booze, with a promise from the DM that things won't get too fucked up in the meantime. Great fun! (50 exp)
- Rake (and Castigate) are recognised as the Steward of Moondin by the populace, and this knowledge is known far and wide! Score! Also the Arena is to have a statue astride the gate like the colossus. (50 exp)
- Carrie donates money to "Whores for Cause", a charity supporting Moondin's red light district. Anything she buys in this city is 10% cheaper from now on! (50 exp)
- During the group's carousing, Carrie is set upon by thieves! But in what is becoming a remarkable habit, turns it around and gets the wannabe thieves to buy her a drink! (50 exp)
- Rake gets fucking sloshed and gets into trouble... luckily Castigate Pox has enough armour control to help him stagger home. What a bro. Also - "Does Castigate only drink spirits?" ho ho ho (50 exp)
- Zena philanthropises, finds out some information. Is there a way to cure the Mould? Meta-answer: "None that I know of". Going to need some Grade A Bullshit to pull that off! (50 exp)
- Raaf heads into the Anarchy Zone to lay down the martial law with a strong contingent. RISEN, the terrorist group agitating for the destruction of all Necromancers, quieten down. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon philanthrophises, asks around about what the source of the mould is. The Heart of Thorns, south through the woods, towards the lair of the Green Dragon. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD philanthrophises and is known by name in this place. People greet him on the street, he's a minor celebrity. (50 exp)
- We finish off with some more media grilling for Rake because I really enjoyed putting Tom on the spot. He eventually learns to pivot to meaningless platitudes like a good politician. (50 exp)
- In the end the upshot of the questions is that the Guard faction are totally into Rake, and the Necromancer faction is less trusting. Better than nothing!
- You know what? The day is totally saved! (50 exp)
- And that evening, beneath the cover of darkness, Zena gives a mysterious letter to a rider who rides off into the night... (50 exp)
Total: 2950 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting 
bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Child Murderer bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Schindler's bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
Total: 950 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (
Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (
Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Inspiring Speech bonus (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom, Ollie - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Charles, Tom, Ollie - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco di Panico dell'Arte bonus (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Homebringer bonus (Andy - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Andy - 500 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Everyone! - 100 exp ea.)
- Carousing!
  - Rake: 1600 exp
  - Nix: 5600 exp
  - Carrie: 4800 exp
- Philanthropy!
  - Rake: 2400 exp
  - Nix: 1000 exp
  - Carrie: 1000 exp
  - Blue Jon: 3200 exp
  - Zena: 4000 exp
  - POWERLAD: 3200 exp

"Media" Questions:
What are your religious beliefs? "Moondin is open to people of all religions"
What is the right religion? "We must pull together in this hour of need"
You were meant to speak at the arena. Why weren't you there? Do you agree that this is suspicious? "I was betrayed by my friend, Andromeda Spiderbite. She poisoned me."
Who was the perpetrator? "Andromeda Spiderbite was behind it all"
Where has Moldus Vane gone? How will you hunt him down? Pivot pivot platitude pivot
What are your next steps? "Rebuild the Arena as a symbol of hope and to honour people"
How will you contain the mould people pouring from the cathedral? "With Justice!"
What are your views on Necromancy and the Duvan'Ku? "We owe them a great debt, they saved us from mould and dragons and disaster. Andromeda is a terrorist and will be stopped."
How will you ensure the North and South Towers remain defended? Raaf Hacker, head of the militia. I have many strong, capable men under my command, and of course the Duvan'Ku are here to help too.
Do you believe that all Termaxians are terrorists? There are Termaxians and fundamentalist Termaxians. Not all are bad
Then why are all terrorists Termaxians? My platform is that Moondin is open to all religions
What will you do to bring the whores to heel? I support the prostitutes and prostitution. We are all one people and must stand together now more than ever. Also weed is legal now.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / 
Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 26637 (Level up at 32000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 22905 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / 
Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 22713 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 21942 (Level up at 36000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 17677 (Level up at 32000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble! +backstory!- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 4 Specialist: 0 (Level up at 12000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 8548 (Level up at 16000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- Ollie / Ollie's next character: +300 exp
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Saturday, 3 June 2017

Session 139 - Et tu, Andromeda?

That was, without a doubt, one of the most memorable sessions of D&D I've ever run.
I know we've had mould-Andy go around trying to infest people before, but we've never had someone covertly work to undermine the party and actively oppose the rest of the players before. Can Ollie ever be trusted again?!

Character stakes, an ally turned villain, a breakdown of trust, and that character bleed, man. Intense stuff!

Also, pretty brutal to follow up fantasy Hillsborough with fantasy Manchester Attack but that's terrorists for you.

I'm pretty sure the plan is to have Andromeda go off to be an NPC for a while (I have her plans, courtesy of Ollie), so we'll be back to one cohesive group next week.
I'm pretty excited for next week to see what actually happens!

On with the art attacks etc -
We've got Charles-brand mid-Remembrancer doodles on show:
Inline images 3
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Inline images 7
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Inline images 9


Inline images 2
Tom reveals his plans for Castigate Pox's fallen arms and armour

Inline images 1
- Tom collages a depiction of Zarat's mould pile condition

And finally, Tom writes us some sweet delicious fiction:---

“Let me see, let me see!” Mordus grappled past his friend for a better view. Hadfar always got the best look – he was bigger and taller – but today was too important for Mordus to miss. Rake Hacker was to speak at the arena.

Suddenly, footsteps! The boys snapped from their struggle and hid quietly. They'd sneaked beneath the seating of the arena to see the speech, but there were guards everywhere. Mordus was scared of the guards, they were loud and smelly and they made strange faces at his mother.

As soon as the guard was out of sight, Mordus - faster than his friend - sprinted back to the crack. Beyond he could see the brightly painted walls of the arena, today veiled with black, the smart uniforms of the bone parade, the curious head-cages and feather-shawls of the nobles. The crowd creaked and stomped in the stands above.

His eyes scanned the scene for the general's box. He was desperate to see Rake. Every child in Moondin wanted to meet him. The day before, the two boys had fought imaginary duels in Uncle Bram's orchard with sacks for capes.

Suddenly, Mordus was yanked from his hole by the leg - Hadfar didn't want to wait his turn! "That's not fair!" screamed Mordus, his arms flailing as Hadfar stepped on him to climb onto the scaffold, pressing his face into the dirt.

Oddly, the ground was trembling beneath him.

Then everything was fire, and Mordus' skin was screaming as his soft, freckled skin was turned to crackling. The fireball ripped out from the earth and up through the scaffold, sucking the air from the boys' lungs and spitting splinters of wood and nail and glass and bone. 

Then came the shockwave, rippling through the arena. Mordus felt his stomach void as he was thrown upwards, limbs wheeling like one of his sister's ragdolls, higher first than the seating, now than the cathedral spire. Below him the stones of the arena flung themselves lazily into the surrounding houses.

The view was exciting but also scary and it was hard to see because his eyes were bleeding, and for some reason he couldn't move his arms to wipe them. 

Mother will worry, he thought. I’m going to be in so much trouble.

---

Session 139 - Et tu, Andromeda?
Campaign Date:
Monday, 16 May, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Gryph Bodhammer, drum sergeant and conveniently placed perspective character.

New Backstory:
- Zena, bedecked in demon-skin clothing and runic tattoos, always attracted attention. Her strange look made her an object of interest and suspicion wherever she went. (+1 to reaction rolls when you're wearing clean, stylish clothes)- Rake may or may not have knocked up a whore and may or may not have sold the child to slavery and may or may not have witnessed slavers stealing his baby away.
All we know is that there was a child and some point, nominally Rake's, and that when he returned from war the baby was gone. (Next character can be your child, starts with half your exp)
- Banjo Fishwick pulled off a ridiculous con - put on a circus sideshow billed as the "man eating fish". After they'd paid their copper, they entered the tent only to find a man eating a fish. Genius. (Once per session, someone totally believes a plausible lie)

Enemies Defeated:- 8 Mould Junkies (200 exp)
- 3 Mould Vessels (150 exp)
- 2 Filled Men (200 exp)
- Countless innocents (0 exp)- Cpt. Rigel, Leader of the Moondin City Guard (0 exp)
- Castigate Pox and his Necromancer retinue (0 exp)
- Madame Gash, Arch-Procuress (0 exp)
Total: 550 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A seriously pissed off Tom
- Powers known: Unbeliever.
-- +4 to hit vs Lawful creatures.
-- Each hit on a Cleric drains one uncast spell at random.
-- Cleric spells targeting the wielder can be denied if the wielder takes twice the spell level as damage.
-- All Cleric spells have minimal effect when cast on someone who has wielded the sword in the past 24 hours.
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled around 18 miles (60 exp)
- 2 random encounters (100 exp)
Total: 460 exp

Events:
- The party limp back to camp, finding that Bertha has been busy reinforcing the camp site! Nice! Trenches, spikes, the works. It's WWI up in here. (50 exp)
- As luck would have it... the party arrive just in time to see some mould people sneakily sneaking up on the other side of the clearing. (50 exp)
- Banjo melts into the undergrowth and begins to sneak around behind them, while Andromeda stands and whistles! Her steed, Midnight Fantasy, comes galloping from the camp. (50 exp)
- I take the new animal system for a spin and it turns out the other horse wants to follow the herd! It runs after Midnight Fantasy which is very convenient. (50 exp)
- All this noise alerts both Bertha and the mould people. Bertha hears POWERLAD's warning and darts into a tent. POWERLAD and Zena sprint in to save her! (50 exp)
- Banjo emerges from the bushes... and tries talking to the mould people! He tells them that the tentacle people need them urgently! (50 exp)
- "Tentacle people? What tentacle people?" say the junkies. Turns out they aren't friends with them! (50 exp)
- The mould men rush Banjo and grapple some sweet sweet mould into his mouth. It always happens to poor old Andy. He's overwhelmed by sadness and the mould people all collapse to the ground as the mould high kicks in. (50 exp)
- That's distraction enough for POWERLAD and Zena who grab Bertha from the tent and make a run for it. (50 exp)
- The others, mounted up, argue briefly about whether they should leave the newly infested Banjo to his new friends. A Floating Disk dragged behind Blue Jon's horse is used to scoop him up and escape! (50 exp)
- Once clear of the clearing, the trip back starts fairly uneventful. A grasshopper jumps on someone's shirt. No big. (50 exp)
- But then as late afternoon rolls round... a very strange man appears. Nude, mad, covered in tattooed writing, and creepy-crawling around on all fours. (50 exp)
- After some suspicious riddling conversation, the party try to make him fuck off by getting him to play hide and seek. This annoys him, and the roads warp around them! Suddenly the party's back near the tentacle! The strange man laughs! (50 exp)
- "You want to go to Moondin eh? But you are tentacles! Don't go to Moondin! Dark plots are afoot! Moondin will be your DOOM!!" he says, or something similarly foreshadowy. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon gives him a joint, which makes him cackle and caper back into the forest happily puffing away at it. The roads shiver and warp again, and as the party passes a corner they find themselves at the gates of Moondin itself! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Rake, first things first, heads straight to the Necromancer-General's office. Andromeda heads off to buy some things and research some spells... or so she says. (50 exp)
- Castigate Pox, Necromancer-General, is very impressed and pleased with the progress the party has made into the tentacle dungeon. That the egg was destroyed is a great boon, as is the strange egg amulet that allows you to speak with the tentacle men. (50 exp)
- He agrees to build a slightly smaller statue of Mairead next to Rake's own, and to establish a forward base and supply chain to the chained tentacle to support further delves. (50 exp)
- Castigate informs Rake that he seeks to seal the Tentacle once more. There was once a witch who kept it bound, but no longer. The sealing ritual requires a sacrifice of 2000 souls, willingly given. This is the Necromancers' true cause. (50 exp) 
- He also says that there's an Arena Disaster Benefit event coming up on Sunday, and he'd be honoured if Rake himself could give a speech there as a tribute to the victims. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, Andromeda is using her seedier connections to acquire a cart, a pile of corpses, a few vials of a tasteless white substance, and a number of barrels filled with a significant quantity of "fairy powder"... (50 exp)
- Also meanwhile, Banjo hits up Moonminster, the Mould Cathedral, and is invited inside. Within he sees Zarat, comfortably snuggled into the moist heaving mass of mouldy men, women and children that grow around each other against the walls (50 exp)
- This mental image really fucks up James Gregory so I must be doing something right! (50 exp)
- The priest takes Banjo to the altar of Oberon, where he prays. The priest Blesses Banjo as he leaves, telling him to go with god. They totally scripturally justify the Mould as a good and holy thing here, be fruitful and multiply etc. (50 exp)
- Zena buys a book on the Mould and Blue Jon uses Bookspeak to get the goods. How do you cure mould? DEATH! What spells can cure the Mould? CURE DISEASE. Great, thanks book real fucking helpful. (50 exp)
- Since the healers in Moondin were somehow murdered recently, plans are considered to take Banjo to the next walled town over and look for a healer there. They go to tell Banjo but... he's gone?! (50 exp)
- Suspecting betrayal, Rake declares a new plan - if you see Banjo, kill him. But his suspicion doesn't go far enough... (50 exp)
- Andromeda, using hookers and bribes to distract the guards, brings a cart full of corpses under the arena. The Necromancers need raw materials to build their undead for Construct Wars, obviously. (50 exp)
- After a few days of spell research, Andromeda is still missing and Banjo has been stalling the Mould by working his way through the red light district and infesting working girls. (50 exp)
- Rake attempts to unlock the full powers of Unbeliever. I swear I named this sword before I got a Kanye track of all things stuck in my head. (50 exp)
- "What's a man to a mob? What's a mob to a king? What's a king to a god? What's a god to a nonbeliever?". Intended answer "nothing" or something along those lines. Rake's answer isn't close, so he chucks it in the gutter and grumps. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon retrieves the sword and says "Nemesis!" to the final line. Close enough! Surprising nobody, it's a Cleric-killer weapon. (50 exp)
- A few days are spent researching spells and buying stuff. Andromeda gets Hold Portal. Blue Jon grabs Phantasmal Force from POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- Days pass. The Saturday before the Arena Disaster Benefit, the party head off to the Arena and check out the
 gambling minigames! I spent a small but significant amount of time making a gambling calculator and people seem to enjoy it so I am glad that nothing bad will happen to the Arena in the near future. (50 exp)
- Gryph Bodhammer, James' new character who works as a drum sergeant, is there betting on Flesh & Bone. It's capital punishment via fights against increasingly inventive undead. (50 exp)
- The next event, Blood Gauntlet, is like Total Wipeout but with blood instead of water and dumb Necromancer contraptions. (50 exp)
- It's remarkably exciting! The underdog Backflip Jack seizes the day due to judicious use of the d30 to influence the odds! (50 exp)
- MAA MAA MAAAAAAAA airhorns sound all the time in the arena by the way. (50 exp)
- The next day, the day of the Arena Disaster Benefit, Andromeda turns back up and buys everyone breakfast. What a darling. (50 exp)
- Rake realises first and chokes out, "Poison!". He fights it, stares at Andromeda in confusion, tries to get up and stumbles. The rest of the party stay where they are. Banjo is still nowhere to be seen. (50 exp)
- "Stay here guys", says Andromeda. She leaves and fades into the crowd that's walking in towards the arena. (50 exp)
- Rake comes to, staggers towards the door, tries to shout a warning but collapses against the door frame and passes out. The last words he hears are "wait, Rake? Is that Rake? What's wrong with him? Did... did he just shit himself?" (50 exp)
- We cut to Banjo, who's snuck into the bowels of the stadium. There are guards down there, but everyone's too excited about the event to really suspect anything. (50 exp)
- Banjo's really sneaky... but not sneaky enough. As he reaches the cart with the gunpowder barrels piled high, placed directly beneath the Necromancer-General's box... some guards notice. (50 exp)
- Rake regains consciousness again. He's on a stretcher. A man is asking him what happened. Rake tries to speak but only manages to murmer a single word - "Andromeda". (50 exp)
- Did you know that Banjo has a history of deception? We do, as of this very session. He engages his backstory to make the guard totally believe a plausible lie. These barrels are fireworks for the main event. Honest. They'll fire off from under the Necromancer's box at the end of the ceremony. (50 exp)
- The guard tells one of his underlings to go tell his daughters in the stands to watch out for the wonderful fireworks display that is to come. (50 exp)
- Out in the Arena, Gryph Bodhammer leads the musicans in a rousing display of musical patriotism. (50 exp)
- In the inn, the party can do nothing but wait as they wonder what Andromeda's dark plans may be. (50 exp)
- In the box, Necromancer-General Castigate Pox emerges and waves at his people to raucous applause. A symbol of strength and unity. (50 exp)
- On the streets, concerned citizens tend to the unconscious Rake. (50 exp)
- And Banjo climbs on top of the gunpowder barrels, torch in hand.  (50 exp)
Total: 2600 exp

Aftermath:
-
 The Arena explosion destroys the whole southern section of the walls and stands, including and especially the Necromancer-General's box. (50 exp)
- Hundreds, if not thousands, are dead. (50 exp)
- Castigate Pox's axe spins lazily through the air and embeds itself blade-first in the arena floor. (50 exp)
- Andromeda rides hard out of the city. She passes by the inn where the effects of the poison are only just starting to wear off. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD stumbles out first, sees Andromeda, cries "Why!?" (50 exp)
- He summons the phantasmal Gravity Dragon, but too slow! (50 exp)
- As the great beast unfurls its great wings and drags itself out from POWERLAD's imagination, Andromeda rides between its still-forming legs and away. (50 exp)
- As she rides, her two remaining radicalised converts join her on horses of their own. Two prostitutes who believe in Andromeda's dream of a Necromancer-free Loegria. The humble beginnings of the RISEN insurgency. (50 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations 
bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Child Murderer bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Gambling Problem bonus (50 exp)

- I Immediately Regret This Breakfast bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Literally For Real a Terrorist bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Riddlemaster bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Soap Opera bonus (50 exp)
- Social Justice Warrior bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guy bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Eat That bonus (50 exp)- Delicious Admin bonus (100 exp)
- OHKO'd a Scary Enemy bonus (100 exp)
- Overkilled a Scary Enemy bonus (100 exp)
Total: 2000 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Mairead - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles*2, Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles*2 - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Horrifying Realisation bonus (Breakfast eaters - 100 exp ea.)
- Asshole bonus (Andromeda - 0 exp)
- An Hero bonus (Andy - 200 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Andy, James - 500 exp ea.)
- Teamkilled bonus (James - 500 exp)

Rumours:
- "The Carrowmore Confederacy sell all sorts of strange and miraculous things from deep deep below the earth. The treasures they found under the lakebed were great indeed!"
- "The roads have a mind of their own, they bend and shiver beneath the light of the moon. The Elves sense all who walk upon them."
- "There's a reward for killing the elves in Moondin. They'll pay a gold piece per left Elf ear, I'm told."
- "At the mouth of the Moonwash, south through the Heart of the Woods, is a dead land full of dead men and barrow-geld."
- "Those mould people who infest others delay their transformation! It makes it hard to tell what they truly are, stay vigilant!"
- "There are no roads to the deep woods in the south of the forest, it is trackless and unexplored all the way to the sea."
- "Their are hags in the swamps who can only be found by one who is lost. If you must walk that way, stick to the paths."
- "Trust the Cunning Men, they know these woods better than anyone. It is a great honour to have a Cunning Man share your hearth."

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Banjo Fishwick, blew himself up while committing the brutal act of terrorism known as the Arena Explosion Disaster..
- Gryph Bodhammer, died in the Arena Explosion Disaster perpetrated by Andromeda Spiderbite and Banjo Fishwick
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / 
Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 19192 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 18568 (Level up at 36000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +1 level 3 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 17760 (Level up at 32000)
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17797 (Level up at 18000)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)*IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES*
- Charles / Zena, Level 4 Fighter: 9705 (Level up at 16000)- Andy / Banjo Fishwick, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 8306 (Level up at 12000)
*DECEASED*
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 3 Fighter: 7803 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble table! +Backstory!
- James / Gryph Bodhammer, Level 1 Something-or-Other
*DECEASED*
- Andy / Next Character: +1464 exp

Absent, Retired or Brutally Betrayed the Party:
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Session 138 - Up Up and Away!

Escape! There's lots of weird shit going down, and so the party bug out via a reverse-skydive and an exciting chase sequence that sees them all somehow surviving.
A good time to leave, too, since the wizards are all out of juice and the rations are running low.

Next week - potential admin adventures! Hoolay!


Inline images 1
- Ollie presents Andromeda aka the Pink Pimpernel!

Inline images 2
- Ollie presents a heroic view of Mairead's last moments, since it looks rad as hell this may be the version of the story that goes down in the history books

Inline images 3
- Tom presents a possibly more realistic version of the same event

Inline images 4
- In an attempt to one-up the descent, I doodle an even worse version

Inline images 5
Finally Charles shows us Zena the nascent Rune Mage and Demon Hunter, bedecked in glyphs most curious



Session 138 - Up Up and Away!
Campaign Date:
Saturday, 6 May, 1660
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Aries

New Backstory:
- Nix's adoptive barbarian tribe was approached by a group of travelling proselytising Termaxians. She accepted them, and converted to Termaxianism herself. (+1 Con)- Zena fell in love with a strange man who knew much about demons. They grew close, but of course, she was already married. Her honour prevented her from being with him. (Each session, +1 AC until you commit a dishonourable act)
- Mairead was on a police stakeout when she saw another crime being committed, jumping off the roof and giving away her cover in order to catch the culprit. She took the fall, and her reputation was badly damaged. (treat falls as 10' lower)

Enemies Defeated:
- A yellow-robed cultist (100 exp)- 3 red-robed cultists (150 exp)
- 7 grey-robed cultists (225 exp)
- A bunch of aspiring still-human cultists (50 exp)
- Several large tentacles (75 exp)
- A huge egg! (0 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- YOUR LIVES (0 exp)
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- First party to reach the fourth level of the Tentacle Dungeon (400 exp)
- 3 dungeon areas explored (60 exp)
Total: 460 exp

Events:
- We begin with the party resting up behind the Web POWERLAD managed to conjure up last session. Dwindling rations are devoured, and the web is inspected (50 exp)
- While discussing what to do, a tendril slithers through the area. It gets to the web and gets stuck. Rake tries to assist it through but can't get that deep into the web. (50 exp)
- Zena lights up a Beam-Light-Heat glyph and burns the web out of the way. The tentacle writhes in agony! Rake chops it in half and the rest of it quickly withdraws. (50 exp)
- The larger rigged-up tentacle they used to get down here seems to be withdrawing too. With no way back, the party heads forward in battle formation. (50 exp)
- The cavern the party fought all those guys in last session is empty. Seems to be some sort of training room. (50 exp)
- The next room is dark... strange gurgling and rumbling from within. Zena fires off her fire beam... and the flickering light reveals a whole lot of baddies, as well as the side of the pit with writhing tentacles within! (50 exp)
- Zena keeps her fire beam on, bursting down one of the grey-robes, while everyone else takes up battle formations. Banjo, who was totally here the whole time, sneaks along the wall towards one of the red robed guys (50 exp)
- Mairead charges up a Beam-Mass-Mass glyph... what the hell does a gravity beam even do?! It is decided - it turns whatever's hit by it into a gravity well. Neato! (50 exp)
- Combat begins getting messy. Scattershot takes out a swathe of the aspiring tentacle cultists. I have flashbacks to pre-nerf d30. Zena is dragged off by a tentacle. Banjo garrottes a red-robe silently. (50 exp)
- Mairead's gravity beam is directed straight at the yellow robe guy, pulling everyone else to him like that gravity grenade thing at the start of Guardians of the Galaxy. (50 exp)
- Andromeda charges, getting a boost in from the gravity well. Another red-robe is cut down. Zena wrestles her way out of the tentacle's clutches and does similar... but overcompensates for the gravity and misses. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD fires a crossbow bolt, reloads, and... the crossbow shatters in his hands! Shit! (50 exp)
- Rake cleaves through a couple of cultists and into the yellow-robed dude... before the yellow-robe grabs him and just straight up falls backwards! They fall into darkness! (50 exp)
- Mairead's gambit to grab him just in time fails hard. She hurts herself... again... (50 exp)
- Blue Jon chucks his familiar! It's got Floating Disk, time to save the day! I briefly entertain the notion that summoning a floating disk beneath the falling Rake is basically conjuring a slab of concrete under a falling man. (50 exp)
- The remaining cultists run off as fast as they can... but are slaughtered by the rest of the party as they run for the edge. (50 exp)
- Rake kicks the yellow-robe off in mid-air, takes Unbeliever, and rams it into the huge main tentacle! He slows his fall like Prince of Persia on the tapestries. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon's kestrel summons the Floating Disk under the now-slower Rake. It falls gently, and Rake sees another level down there. (50 exp)
- Big fuckoff egg covered with writhing snakes of light on a ledge of rock, upside-down people getting bled so their blood flows over the egg... and the falling yellow-robe is caught by a tentacle and helped onto ledge by another yellow-robe. (50 exp)
- Rake uses the Floating Disk to get onto this lower level next to the egg. He advances forward cautiously, the only light coming from the writhing egg-light. (50 exp)
- Nix discovers the egg talisman she holds allows her to speak to the tentacle cultists! She asks what's up of one of the survivors, and hears of the blue-robed leader of the cultists who controls the tentacles and thus THE WORLD! (50 exp)
- A tentacle that was getting scrubbed for skin flakes by the aspiring cultists is burned with gunpowder and the skin flakes cleansed with fire. Blue Jon is taking no chances. (50 exp)
- Rake is approached from the darkness by some weird fucking dude. Knots of veins bulge from beneath his skin, pulsing cancers filled with blood, and he rides an even more knotted dude whose painful welts have made him crack backwards on hands and feet. (50 exp)
- Rake questions him on what he's doing down here. The welt-man tries to loan Rake some HP, and when Rake refuses he tries to Charm him into jumping off the cliff. It don't work. (50 exp)
- Above, the rest of the party have a plan - orbital drop! They leap from above in parachute formation, trigger Featherfall, and swoop in to support Rake! (50 exp)
- Except for Mairead, who jumps a moment too late and meteorically falls straight towards the egg! She dies almost immediately... but shatters the egg at the same time! SPLAT! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon, not knowing that she did that on purpose, thinks it's his fault and is wracked with guilt. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party three-point landing around Rake. Cavalry's here! Cool poses on! (50 exp)
- Turns out there's a ton of baddies down here. What do. RETREAT!!! (50 exp)
- This shouldn't have worked, but Blue Jon blows Featherfall and everyone grabs his familiar! It starts rising! Behind, tentacles chase the party upwards! (50 exp)
- Zena and Blue John are grabbed, but they fight the tentacles off! (50 exp)
- Andromeda is about to be grabbed by a tentacle, but she summons an illusory tentacle to distract it! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon is dragged down... but he's on a rope! It's too far away... but he Enlarges himself so he can reach it! Sick! (50 exp)
- Zena slides down the rope to slice the tentacle that's around his leg, and the party are free to rise like a phoenix! The party reach the lip of the pit! Fuck yea! (50 exp)
- Beaten, battered, but triumphant, they limp to the woods to lick their wounds and hopefully get away from the filthy tentacle pit for a while. Success! (50 exp)
Total: 2550 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting 
bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Chase bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- This! is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1150 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Mairead - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Ollie, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All who saw Mairead's death - 100 exp ea.)
- An Hero bonus (James' next character - 200 exp)
- Famous Last Words bonus (James' next character - 200 exp)
- Noble Sacrifice bonus (James' next character - 1000 exp)

Rumours:
- None down here, but soon!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Mairead is dead! Smashed into a giant egg at terminal velocity.
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / 
Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 18228 (Level up at 32000)- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 16496 (Level up at 32000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +Backstory! 
- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 4 Magic-User: 17604 (Level up at 18000)
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 16833 (Level up at 18000)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 16508 (Level up at 18000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 4 Fighter: 8341 (Level up at 16000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +Saves improve! +Backstory!
- Andy / Banjo Fishwick, 
Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 8306 (Level up at 12000)
- James / Mairead, Level 3 Specialist (Policewoman): 5784 (Level up at 6000)*DECEASED*
- James / Next Character: +2195 exp

Absent or Retired:
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James, Raaf van Held, Level 2 Fighter: 3544 (Level up at 4000)
- Tom / 
Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Friday, 19 May 2017

Session 137 - Tentacular Spectacular

I seriously thought those ghosts would put an end to the party, but no! The party is too powerful! Immunity to non-magical attacks ain't shit when half the party can PUNCH GHOSTS.
The magic sword claimed, the ghosts defeated, some of the dungeon's most valuable treasures looted.
I then also thought the mob of tentacle cultists would do likewise, but no can do for those boyos.
You did good!

I was very glad to see that the wizard's pipeweed was so very effective. Blue John bumbling around high off his nut and not giving a shit about the ghost swiping at his face was a sight to behold.

Mairead, continuing her character arc from "ice cold policewoman" to "bumbling old granny", has kneecapped herself and is now down two limbs. Let's go for the hat trick?

Oh, and the best bit, baby basilisks were adopted! Causing me to spend a while making up a totes innovative animal training system. This'll be a laugh I'm sure.


Inline images 1
- Tom covers the main events

Inline images 2
- Ollie depicts Andromeda cradling a baby basilisk as she charges a Magic Missile

Inline images 3
- Of last week, Andromeda evades a tentacle!

Inline images 4
- James attempts a "smart attack" to determine how long it would take to fall to the core of the earth.
Stare at this picture for half an hour to see it happen in real time.


Session 137 - Tentacular Spectacular

Campaign Date:
Friday, 5 May, 1660
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Aries


New Backstory:
- It was a cold cold winter, and Banjo stole all he could under the guise of helpfulness. (Can eat 2 rations to heal 2d6 HP when taking a break)- Mairead killed a rabid ratman who was foaming from the mouth. Turns out he was brushing his teeth. A coverup where they replaced the toothbrush with a gun ensued, and her fellow guards helped her out of the emotional hole she fell into. (May grant those next to you a reroll to avoid falling)
- Zena, in a blood rage after her parents were killed by demons, came across a whole village of the possessed! They begged for their lives, but she killed them all. They were innocent. (When you strike a killing blow, gain 1HP per HD of the slain)

Enemies Defeated:
- Just a ton of grey-robed tentacle cultists (100 exp)- 7 red-robed tentacle cultists (350 exp)
- 1 yellow-robed tentacle cultist (250 exp)
- 14 black-fingered ghosts (700 exp)
- 4 summoned tentacles (100 exp)
Total: 1500 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A couple of bronze ant-egg shaped talismans (20 exp)
- 3 baby basilisks!
- The magic sword Unbeliever- A solid gold necklace with the Duvan'ku symbol upon it (10000sp)
- Two gold rings with astrological signs - Cancer and Gemini (5000sp)
Total: 15020 exp

Exploration:
- First party to reach the second level of the Tentacle Dungeon (200 exp)
- 1 Wandering Monster encounter (50 exp)
- 4 dungeon areas explored (80 exp)
Total: 330 exp

Events:
- Resting up in the woods, Andromeda uses herb books to find something that'll help with spider poison. They spend a morning hunting for Spiderwort to no avail. (50 exp)
- Zena scratches a Change-Light-Light glyph on her halberd. Electric polearm! This will turn out to be a good idea. "You know it'll turn off if you're hurt right?" She does. (50 exp)
- Rake researches the location of El Dorado. The answer - "America". Real helpful. (50 exp)
- The tentacle dungeon is entered once more. The plan is to lower people down to the ex-basilisk cave, carefully, on ropes. (50 exp)
- It's all going well, and only Rake and Andromeda are left on the balcony when the door bursts open! Here we go baby, two grey-robed tentacle cultists and one in a red robe! (50 exp)
- The grey-robes charge into battle while the red-robed guy summons a tentacle! It pulls Rake into the air, over the pit. (50 exp)
- Andromeda wrestles the grey-robed cultists, tossing one into the pit. Those below basically see a tentacle rise past, hear some yelling, and then hear a Wilhelm Scream as a cultist falls down the pit. (50 exp)
- Rake does some wacky wrestle-swing, overpowers the tentacle, and throws himself for the edge! He sticks the landing perfectly. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon and POWERLAD shoot the tentacle, making it retreat back down the pit. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, Banjo leaves them to scope out the basilisk cave. He hears chirping and croaking, but can't see the source... (50 exp)
- Rake bumrushes the red-robed cultist. They parry to no avail, and are cleaved in twain by Rake's greataxe. Andromeda punches the main cultist to death. Victory! (50 exp)
- Rake finishes off their flailing once-human remains and the bodies are looted - not much of note except for an bronze ovoid talisman that the red-robe had on him. (50 exp)
- Below, Banjo and Nix check out the chirruping while Blue Jon smokes a joint. They find... three baby basilisks! And a toad tied over a hen's egg! (50 exp)
- Rake and Andromeda climb down and run over. Baby basilisks are immediately taken as pets! After a little experimentation, is seems they only eat petrified meat. (50 exp)
- The toad gets no such favourable treatment. Rake squishes it and the egg. (50 exp)
- Further into the cave, the party turn a corner to show a hole with a large tentacle in it! It's not as massive as the main tentacle but still pretty huge, and covered with ladders and rigging. (50 exp)
- Rake advances in cultist robes that are cleeaarly way too small. The tentacle doesn't react, so the party begin descending the rigging. (50 exp)
- After about ten minutes, the edge of a ledge can be seen. Blue Jon's floating stone-innards kestrel investigates, but sees nothing in the dark. Every time it leaves a dim glow pulses. (50 exp)
- The tentacle seems to be avoiding swaying near the ledge, so Zena jumps for it! She misses but manages to grab onto the rock before she falls too far. Luckily they tied a rope on first. (50 exp)
- A smaller tentacle slithers up past Zena... she freezes as it investigates... but it passes her by and slithers on upwards. (50 exp)
- Zena climbs up and helps the others across. Inside they see fourteen stone coffins with the symbol of Duvan'Ku on them... but more importantly a sword in a stone altar at the end! (50 exp)
- Rake fucking books it towards the sword. He draws it from the altar and that pulse of dim white light surges out! The word Unbeliever ripples up the sword in pale blue, and echoes inside Rake's mind. (50 exp)
- Andromeda opens a coffin and finds a sweet gold necklace with the Duvan'Ku symbol! But also, a ghost emerges out of each coffin. Their lips and fingers are black, and fill the party with a dread feeling like these things drain Constitution on hit... (50 exp)
- POWERLAD rapid-rainbow-punches one of them back to hell as Rake attempts diplomacy with his new sword raised high. (50 exp)
- To my horror, I discover most of the party has weaponry that can kill a ghost! Between the magic Muscle Wizard punches, the Barbarian ghost-throttling, Rake's new sword, and Zena's electro-halberd, the party's actually looking pretty good! (50 exp)
- Andromeda and Zena re-kill the ghost in the gold necklace coffin before Zena begins what will become a headlong charge the whole way down the room towards Nix, shish-kebabing ghosts on her electric halberd as she goes. (50 exp)
- The ghosts roll incredibly poorly. A few people get their souls chilled a little bit, but no big deal. (50 exp)
- Rake cuts down a couple of ghosts, "that blade was broken!", but the sword itself doesn't seem to like doing this. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD summons forth her ultimate move - Imaginary Dragon! It chomps the shit out of a ghost since nobody knows what the Gravity Dragon's breath weapon does yet, before a whole lot of ghosts surge in to attack it. Alas, they pop it like a rainbow soap bubble. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon begins casting Magic Missile! He's attacked by a ghost... which would have disrupted his spell if he wasn't high right now. Score one for drugs! The spell goes off no problem, spattering another ghost (50 exp)
- Zena crits, rolls poorly, Charles discovers Fighters get +1 to crit/fumble table per level. "1+3... is that FOUR?!" Classic Charles. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon's kestrel is sent to bother a ghost as a sort of mobile harrassment device while Rake and Zena continue to cut down ghosts left and right. (50 exp)
- Banjo hides in a coffin as Andy has to leave... but soon after Mairead pops out as James returns from Pizza Express! Scooby Doo shit, my friends. (50 exp)
- Mairead is attacked by the ghost and is wracked by necrotic damage. She's in trouble. How is she even still alive though. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD flails uselessly at ghosts while Andromeda punches her way through them like gossamer. Slightly embarrassing for POWERLAD (50 exp)
- There are precious few ghosts left, and the mop-up results in some damage to Zena's halberd and some more embarrassing misses from POWERLAD who can't hit the broad side of a haunted barn. "He takes after his father", Kitty laments. (50 exp)
- With the ghosts finally defeated, the spoils are counted. Two golden rings in addition to the necklace and sword. Neat! (50 exp)
- Zena mysteriously goes missing as Charles leaves. I guess she's following at a safe distance (50 exp)
- Tom, as the "Tentacaller", says that the party is going to head further down the rigged-up tentacle. They do... (50 exp)
- There's another level after twenty minutes of further climbing, although the tentacle does seem to go down further... (50 exp)
- Visible from here, 8 mould people pushing an eight-spoked wheel around. Blue Jon, still high, goes first and asks them how they're doing. "Guards! Guards!" shouts one. (50 exp)
- They're tied to the wheel though, and Rake just sort of holds out his swords and chops their heads off as they pass by on the still-moving wheel. Brutal. (50 exp)
- The wheel is attached to a mechanism that seems to be delivering, then grinding up, flakes of dead tentacle skin into a fine powder. Theory seems to be that this is the origin of the Mould itself! (50 exp)
- Nix, peering off into the darkness of the next room, is assaulted by a tentacle and dragged off! Oh shit! The party rushes to help, except for Mairead who unhelpfully spends the next forty minutes trying to work out how long it would take to fall to the centre of the earth if stone was air. (50 exp)
- The room is fucking chock-full of cultists. Grey-robed, red-robed, and even one dude in yellow robes. There's definitely a hierarchy here. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon attempts parley, but gets grabbed by a summoned tentacle and bashed into a wall. At the back, Nix is undergoing a similar issue. (50 exp)
- Rake and Andromeda scattershot at once, mowing down most of the grey-robed cultists! Shit! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD casts web, punching a dude backwards a split second before the webs burst out of his orifices. Tentacles and cultists alike are trapped by the sticky web! (50 exp)
- Mairead finally turns up having calculated something we googled thirty minutes earlier, tries to gambit to kneecap the yellow cultists... and kneecaps herself. Two limbs left for poor old Mairead. (50 exp)
- Nix throws the yellow cultists into a red, disrupting their tentacle-control ritual and causing two tentacles to flee. It's late and I'm sick so I cheat on a roll for the first time in years... the remaining cultists morale breaks and they run for their lives. (50 exp)
- Nix chops one in half as they run past, because Opportunity Attacks and all. Those cultists stuck in the web are murdered by the party and they drag Nix through the web or something. (50 exp)
- Hiding behind the web barricade... the party can rest for now. Phew! (50 exp)
Total: 2550 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting 
bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)- Headtaker bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1150 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Caller (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charales / Zena - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (James / Mairead - 100 exp)
- Guard (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Ollie - 100 exp)
- Smart Attack bonus (James / Mairead - 1 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Tom, Fraser - 100 exp ea.)
Near Death Experience bonus (Mairead - 100 exp)
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Mairead kneecapped herself!
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / 
Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 17433 (Level up at 32000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Level-Up Table! +Backstory!
- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 4 Magic-User: 16809 (Level up at 18000)
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 16038 (Level up at 18000)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 15513 (Level up at 18000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 4 Fighter: 15601 (Level up at 16000)
- Andy / Banjo Fishwick, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 7611 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!
- Charles / Zena, Level 3 Fighter: 7446 (Level up at 8000)
- James / Mairead, Level 3 Specialist (Policewoman): 5784 (Level up at 6000)

Absent or Retired:
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James, Raaf van Held, Level 2 Fighter: 3544 (Level up at 4000)
- Tom / 
Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)