Tuesday, 13 November 2018

Session 204 - Usurper of Fate




Ahhhh yes, a day I'll look back on in years to come and go "remember when they fucked up the world in a way I'd literally never expected?" Maximum Godhead Hyper-Jesus is now in control of the walking city Battlefortress Fate! Ereshkigal the Gravity Dragon is creating a gravity well to destroy the tentacle! The Black Sun has blossomed, creating all-encompassing darkness! It's the end of all things, baby!

POWERLAD uploads a god.
Styx starts a revolution. Sir Robyn welcomes our heroes to the big city. Dumbledorris temporarily kills her baby. Galaxy Johnson signs books he doesn't remember writing. Snels struggles to catch up with the current state of the world. William Fox-Shitt is impossibly posh.

God there's a lot of art this week! Amazing.
I'm off sick today but I'll drag myself to run D&D anyway. Hashtag commitment.


Session 204 - Usurper of Fate

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 28 May, 1601
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zenith: The Allfather
Zodiac: Taurus

New Backstory:
- Galaxy Johnson’s mother was dying back on his home planet. When medicine failed, he turned to dark and forbidden means to save her… forbidden arts that had him exiled from his planet in a meteor. Eventually he crash-landed on Earth, starting this whole weird saga. (+1 Arcana)



- Dumbledorris’ birthday was ruined when Synthia fought with her over digesting that Necromancer… and they even got pregnant! (On May 24th every game year, and every real year, and your real birthday - a named NPC turns up at the start of the session)





- Andromeda used to party with all the other alternate timeline Andromedas back in Ereshkigal’s drakencult… until the POWERLADs showed up and ruined things by putting them back in line. (Once per session, make everything absolutely go to shit in an unexpected way)



- When POWERLAD first learnt to Fly, he tested it by jumping from high places. The first few times it didn’t work and he really hurt himself. (Half damage from falls)


- Just before RJ's brothers and sisters bled out, they told him the secret that would shatter his world forever - they actually like him. It was the kick he needed to turn his life around and call himself Lonely Blade. (+1 Wisdom)



Treasure and Equipment:
-
Total: 0 exp

Enemies Defeated:
-
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter Fate in Battlefortress Mode (500 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Events:
--- Doomed Earth
- Following last week’s retreat from some angry floating tentacle things, the Gubers take the long route around. Battlefortress Fate, the walking city, looms ahead. Its brass legs straddle the walled town of Salisburgh. (50 exp)
- We hear about where Snels was during the wake... and it's not pretty. (50 exp)


- POWERLAD tries to get a line to Hyper-Jesus through his earpiece, but the connection is very shaky and keeps dropping out. He tries some hymns to no effect, and Styx sure isn’t going to help. (50 exp)



- They draw closer. On the horizon the city-scale black Apocalypse Dragon Ereshkigal pulls itself to its feet. One of its enormous wings droops weakly against its flank, seemingly broken in its titanic fall. It breathes gravity and drags a strand of the Prime Tentacle towards its mouth, clamping down and tearing it off. The tentacle is already regenerating. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson reaches out to the Dragon, praying fervently for it to triumph. He is filled with some of its power, granting him a deeper bond with the Gravity Dragon. (50 exp)
--- Welcome to Salisburgh
- After an hour or so they reach the walls of Salisburgh. There’s a shout of surprise from the walls - they weren’t expecting to see anyone alive out there! (50 exp)
- Soon a platform is rigged up over the pocked and scarred walls and lowered towards them. On the platform is a man in battleworn armour who has an unaccountably Mexican accent. He’s also seemingly perpetually angry. (50 exp)



- He challenges the party on their intentions, but recognises POWERLAD! Who doesn’t at this point honestly? POWERLAD explains that they’re heading into Fate to meet up with a friend - Sir Robyn - maybe you know of him? He does, and he hates lawyers. (50 exp)
- He tells POWERLAD that the guy in control of the defenders of this city is called Guido Maloney. High-fives all round! (50 exp)
- In the sky above the angels begin singing their warning song like an air raid siren, the rising-falling wail. The sound pings Styx’s angel-bot, and even Battlefortress Fate above begins singing with a distorted voice. (50 exp)
- Those who know the angel language hear the message: “-- REPORT -- BLACK SUN BLOSSOMS -- PROPHECY CONFIRMED -- TRUMPET SOUNDED --”
- The guard shouts for those above to open the gates and the platform is pulled back up on ropes. Styx triggers his angel’s flight mode and follows him up. (50 exp)
- He looks to the north and sees what the angels are singing about. Pitch darkness is blossoming in the distance, getting ever closer, like vast petals bursting and unfolding in overlapping waves, covering the earth and sky in impenetrable dark. (50 exp)
- As the darkness spreads it covers the floating angel-stations in the skies above. One by one they are silenced. He sees the black waves reach Dwimmermount, and at the same moment the Hyper-Jesus communicator in POWERLAD’s ear goes silent. (50 exp)
--- The Allfather takes nobody’s shit
- Styx turns and lands his angel on the parapet. The angry lieutenant rounds on him and asks what religion he belongs to. Nonanist is the wrong answer. He gets irate and berates Styx for his false faith. (50 exp)



- At that, Styx’s angel’s god-projector activates and projects an image of a God. It’s a big buff old guy! The Allfather! (50 exp)


- The Lieutenant staggers back in shock, and the Allfather chastises him for insulting the New Messiah before activating the angel’s cannons and blasting him in the chest! (50 exp)
- He turns to Styx and tells him there’s not much time - the darkness is cutting off comms with the angels and activating the destroy-all-targets failsafe. Styx would be wise to deactivate this angel before it goes haywire. (50 exp)
- He’s in a hurry to leave, but Styx asks about Battlefortress Fate before he goes. He says it’s an anomalous structure, predating his own existence. The Gods know it’s an ark, meant to save life from cataclysm, and says they should stop using up reserve biomass to resurrect the dead - that’s meant to be converted to food! (50 exp)
- He winks out and Styx raises his voice - he is the Messiah! A lone man advances, spear raised and disbelieving, but POWERLAD chooses that exact moment to land in front of him! Bertha hops down from his arms and both the robot-armoured Break and the shadowy form of Galaxy Johnson appear at either side! (50 exp)



- The lone man’s spear tip quivers and lowers to the ground. POWERLAD gently disarms him. The soldiers on the walls fall to their knees and praise the new Lord. (50 exp)
--- Unnatural Darkness
- There’s no time to pray, the wave of darkness is nearly upon them! They all flee along the wall, the Gubers keeping pace on the city road below! (50 exp)



- It’s no use running. The darkness washes over them all and sounds become faded and muffled. Only those with alternate means of vision can see. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD punches his fists together and casts Continual Light. Suddenly they can see! But it’s a strange light - it creates a radius of normal light that suddenly ends at a smooth wall of pitch blackness. A bubble of light. (50 exp)



- Torches are lit, and the blackness at the limits quivers and shivers as the flame flickers. Bubbles of light can connect to each other, allowing sightlines, but as soon as they’re too far apart you’re on your own. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson takes a torch to the Gubers below and makes sure to keep in range of the light on the wall, essentially creating a hole through which they can see each other and communicate. Better than nothing! (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris tries seeing what happens if she walks into the darkness. Moopy the Gloopy goes quiescent in her arms and she feels a tremendous cold that makes her want to curl into a ball and hibernate. It’s fine in the light though, Moopy quickly returning to her wiggly self. (50 exp)
--- Old Man Guido
- They continue along the wall until they reach more bubbles of torchlight held by guards on the walls. They ask for news of their fellow guardsmen and head off to rescue them from the impossible blackness. (50 exp)
- Behind them, lit by yet more hastily lit torches, is a huge grinning skull built into the wall! It looks like it’s made of papier mache or something. Emerging from the mouth is an enormous skeleton, bones held together with bandages, and wearing an eyepatch because that’s what happens to grizzled old callbacks. It’s Guido! He lives! (50 exp)



- He sees POWERLAD and says “No… it can’t be? POWERLAD?! The son of POWERMAN and Sophia?!” (50 exp)
- They embrace, Guido telling him that he knew POWERLAD’s parents well. POWERLAD asks directly for exposition, and boy does he get it! (50 exp)



- Cardinal Scream was defeated at the Barrowmaze by the vampire lord Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus. Guido is keeping his last soul-raven alive in here. The trouble with having your soul in a series of birds is that it’s hard to catch more if you run low. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn turned up with a real splash in Fate a little while ago. He’s not well-liked since there’s a perceived conflict of interest when his raccoon familiars are often each defence and prosecutor in the same case. (50 exp)
- The current Fated Queen is Seraph Dawnstride. She emerged from the Resurrection Engine last month and soon took the city in a great Termaxian revolution. The previous Fated Queen is nowhere to be seen. (50 exp)
-  Last word from the surviving Rebel Dead is that they assaulted Mt Death Frost while Cyrus was focused on the Barrowmaze. Ominously, they encountered no resistance. When they finally broke into the Black Fortress at the peak, they discovered a vast cache of food, water, and a block of glowing ice containing the body of a Barbarian Queen… (50 exp)
- Glutted with exposition, the party prepares to move on. POWERLAD tries to convert Guido to worship of Ninhursag, but Guido says he’s seen many POWERLADs fall in service of the black dragon so his faith is low. Also, might not work since he’s a skeleton and all. (50 exp)
--- Ascending to Fate
- They are led to the great brass chains that dangle from Fate’s flanks. Each chain is as thick as a man, and living semi-mechanical “elevators” with human minds drag passengers upwards to Fate. (50 exp)



- Every so often, when Fate’s beam cannon fires, the whole city freezes in time for a few moments as the city rocks back and the sky blurs overhead. The unnatural darkness cannot penetrate the city’s time-field, giving everyone inside the impression of being within an enormous snow globe surrounded by blackness. (50 exp)
- Styx gets Break to lighten the load on the huffing puffing elevator man. Since he doesn’t have to huff and puff so much, he tells them that being remade into this machine was his punishment for a crime - death is no punishment in a city where the population gets resurrected. (50 exp)



- When the elevator reaches the top of the chain, the party step out and find a huge crowd waiting for them! At its head is Sir Robyn! He runs forward to greet them and shake hands, directing POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson to a book signing table he’s set up for them! (50 exp)
- He reveals that he’s finished work on his time travel spell - dubbed The Timewarp - which will take them back to the moment that the infamous wish was made. Alternate solution to apocalypse acquired! (50 exp)
- He gets distracted by William Fox-Shitt’s attempts to impress with his family tree, and Styx tries to create a religious schism by praying fervently to the Allfather! (50 exp)
- Inside the city’s shield, the Allfather answers! Projecting a huge head above the gathered crowds, the Allfather declares Seraph’s rule of the city unjust! When the projection fades, Styx and his disciples head out into the crowd stoking counter-revolutionary fervour! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD tries to get in contact with Hyper-Jesus and finds himself in perfectly clear contact for the first time since the party left Dwimmermount! Hyper-Jesus commands him to find a way to plug the communicator into the city. (50 exp)
--- The Commute
- For the first time in a long time, it’s time to use Fate’s transport networks to get around the city! Styx lets them go, it’s time for him to stir up some dissent! (50 exp)



- The main party sees a number of things on the way. At the change from the oft-graffiti’d Central Line recruiters for Maintenance give out fliers at the station. Massive rate cuts for life to those who join them in repairing the great mechanical city. (50 exp)
- They also see the great Impound of Flesh - where criminals are remade for their crimes and forced into civil service. A crablike cage-person walks towards the Impound, prisoner within. The prisoner protests their innocence while the cage-person sonorously declares their crimes. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson tries to ask around for more information but sounds like he’s propositioning everyone for sex, and is also a freaky shadow-alien hybrid. (50 exp)
- William Fox-Shitt peels off to head for the most gentrified area he can find - the fabled Cullingdon Club - while the others take the clean no-eye-contact Hub Line to Sciotherico. (50 exp)
- He changes at Glob, seeing the many ads for classic long-running ratman sitcom F.I.E.N.D.S, and winds up at the hyper-gentrified St Toff’s. Perfect! (50 exp)
- The rest arrive at Sciotherico. The queues at the exit are long, but Sir Robyn takes them down the far shorter VIP queue with a big wink. (50 exp)
- The woman at the booth at the end of the VIP line requests credentials. Sir Robyn clearly has a rapport with her, but upon discovering that Galaxy Johnson, THE Galaxy Johnson, is here she loses her shit and gets him to sign her copy of POWERLAD’s Giant Weapon. After gushing a while she lets them right through! (50 exp)
--- Usurper of Fate
- They enter the vast throne room. Guards wielding huge halberds line the long carpet to the throne. Floating above it, connected to the ceiling by glowing cables of light that attach to the wooden circlet on her brow, is Seraph Dawnstride. The Fated Queen. (50 exp)



- She opens her eyes, and the focus on POWERLAD. She recognises him, but warns against approaching closer. (50 exp)



- The wooden crown contains the souls and memories of 600 years of Fated Monarchs, together they are taking the cognitive load required to command the Battlefortress. The outer gold crown was taken by Jade when she was ousted from the throne. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson immediately tells POWERLAD to step forward immediately (his words). POWERLAD steps forth, hearing Hyper-Jesus tell him to put himself ear-to-ear with Seraph. (50 exp)
- He puts his head next to Seraph’s… and with a flash of pain the communicator device leaps into Seraph’s ear. (50 exp)
- Seraph smiles wildly, proclaiming “I feel so… happy!” (50 exp)
- She collapses limply, hanging from the cables by the head. There is a pulse of energy and the guards collapse in a wave. The throne becomes a sphere of red brass that begins to close around her. Her last words, as the room starts to shudder - (50 exp)
- “You should run” (50 exp)
- They book it! Around them the walls whir and change, the brass plates rippling and reformatting. They emerge from the palace at a dead sprint, confused crowds looking around as the klaxons play a song somewhere between these three themes. (50 exp)
- The blackness of the sky above is split by a glowing red cross, surrounded by a bright red halo. They compress, and the sky is shattered by a pulse of bright energy! As the afterimages clear, the black sky cracks and disperses! (50 exp)
- Distantly, the multiple strands of the prime tentacle are wrapping around themselves to form back into a single limb. Beside it, Ereshkigal is floating from the earth, body and limbs dangling, head craning upwards to the sky. Above its enormous snout, a ball of pure black is forming. Clouds and gale-force winds whip towards the gravity well. (50 exp)



- The party is rushing after Sir Robyn, heading for his Fate office. Shouting over the gale, POWERLAD shouts “SO ABOUT THAT TIME TRAVEL SPELL…” (50 exp)
Total: 3100 exp

Misc:
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- Holy bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp ea)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD)- 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Suzie / Dumbledorris  - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Charles, Suzie, George - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Carter, Charles, Suzie - 100 exp)
- Attacco d’Arte bonus (Charles, Suzie - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Suzie*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Kitty - 500 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1020sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
-

Exp Totals:

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 146469 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp)
--- Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 20491 (Level up at 36000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 6 (-25% exp) --- Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10165 (Level up at 18000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 61149 (Level up at 72000)- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 50823 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Suzie / Dumbledorris2, Level 6 Inheritor: 38455 (Level up at 72000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 5121 (Level up at 7000)
- George / Snels, Level 2 Fighter: 2425 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble! +backstory!


Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 79452 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Lady Goth, Level 4 Necromancer: 9137 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8208 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriod, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6137 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2137 (Level up at 4000)
--- Brindlefaust, Level 2 Specialist: 1637 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blitzer, Level 2 Specialist: 1637 (Level up at 3000)

Absent or Retired:
- Timothy / RJ, Level 6 Spider Fighter: 32638 (Level up at 64000)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3148 (Level up at 4500)

- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3148 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 48119 (Level up at 70400)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp)
---Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 1 Necromancer: 2043 (Level up at 2250)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)   
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers  
- Kitty / 
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

Tuesday, 6 November 2018

Session 203 - Eat Sleep Rave Repeat

OUT IN TIME! That was a close one! If you see any errors, let me know and I'll change it in the blog version.

Long story short - the world's fucked and there's nobody left but the Dead... but at least everyone leveled up and gave Galaxy and Zena the send-off they deserved!
Plus, it sounds like Ninhursag's willing to try the plan to save the world!



On with the show - Session 203 - Eat Sleep Rave Repeat

Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 24 May, 1601
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zenith: The Allfather
Zodiac: Taurus

New Backstory:
- RJ never bothered to attend the dragonboat races, preferring to stay inside in the shade with his POWERLAD manga. (+1 Wisdom)



Treasure and Equipment:
-
Total: 0 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- Several floating tentacle creatures (200 exp)
Total: 200 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled around 40 miles (140 exp)
- 1 random encounter (50 exp)
Total: 190 exp

Events:
--- Funeral prep
- It’s time for everyone’s favourite time - admin adventures! (50 exp)
- We open on the day of the funeral. Galaxy Johnson, reborn, will attend the funeral of his former mortal shell Daniel “Coalminer Dan” Johnson and his alien entity’s former shell Zena. Shit’s crazy. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD plans to mobilise the entirety of his dragon priest fortune to send them off in style! (50 exp)
- The funeral is immense! Everyone contributes to this last wild end of the world wake. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson, revealed to be the mysterious author behind the POWERLAD romance novels, attends a series of book signings for his collected works. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD erects an enormous statue and also attends the book signings. They are about him, after all! (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris gets strippers and teaches them to twerk tastefully at the funeral. Extremely tasteful I think you’ll agree. (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury has the entirety of the town’s walls painted with murals telling the story of Galaxy Johnson’s life (50 exp)
- Synthia starts a fast food chain called Galaxy Burger! What’s in the burger now that meat is extremely scarce? It’s a trade secret. (50 exp)
- Styx has been busy. Using Stones’ dragon-priest underlings, he’s created a massive semi-sealed dome with entrances grown over with filtration plants that will draw the toxins from the air. (50 exp)


(Unfortunate antisemitic implications courtesy of Charles)

--- The Sun Burial
- The funeral is… unorthodox. The dome is packed out, everyone’s been told to expect a massive party after this. Plus the filter-plants worked a treat, it’s the first time many have breathed clean air in weeks! (50 exp)
- Coalminer Dan’s remains and Zena’s ashes are rolled up into an expensive tapestry. Those who knew them say a few words, including a fairly heartfelt speech from Galaxy Johnson himself. He had a complicated relationship with the man whose body he snatched. (50 exp)
- At noon, Styx clicks his fingers and there is a cry of awe as the top of the dome lifts away! The goblins powering the anti-mass glyphs stay out of the way to complete the illusion of godly might. Styx’s legend grows! (50 exp)



- It’s time for the main event - the final send-off. A goblin draws a sigil upon the tapestry and powers it, then POWERLAD lofts the whole thing above his head and spiral-uppercuts it into the sky! (50 exp)
- With practically zero mass due to rune fuckery, the tapestry flies directly upwards into the sky! If it’s quick, perhaps it’ll even reach the sun before the world explodes.



--- Let’s get this party started!
- With the funeral over, it’s time for the biggest wake the city has ever seen. As far as we know, these are some of the last people alive on the planet. Time to let loose! (50 exp)



- Styx had planned to get Andromeda out of the way by taking her to a bar… but Dumbledorris and Flaming Fury take that job. Styx watches them walk off with concern. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris, as a living drug lab, gets her fucked up on Wave. Andromeda is suddenly extremely focused on every little detail around her. She’s fucked! (50 exp)
- With Andromeda in the k-hole, Dumbledorris and Flaming Fury take her to a seedy but surprisingly modern club! Andromeda zones out on the dance floor.
- Flaming Fury makes sure to pay for a massive bar tab and get far more than a hundred people drunk, unlocking her new Lorebond! She can now down a bottle of booze to enter a drunken rage! (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris triggers her stolen witch powers to make the dancers cast random spells - sowing chaos and killing an innocent Necromancer sitting at a table. (50 exp)
- Synthia is here too, and there is shock and revulsion as the two Inheritors fall into a puddle of flesh-bits and fight over the Necromancer powers. (50 exp)
- While they struggle, two rival puddles of meat, something miraculous occurs. A horrible flesh-baby is born from their union! They name it Moopy the Gloopy. (50 exp)



- Blood Honey Healing 4 U’s drug delivery company does a roaring trade in various narcotics. It’s the end of the world baby! (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson grabs ladies off the dance floor with his shadow-tendrils, it’s very impressive! (50 exp)
- Glycon, the Elf, uses her spooky Elf powers to fuck with people who are already high. (50 exp)
- They party into the night, drunk and high and absolutely hemorrhaging cash. What a night! (50 exp)
--- Dragon speech
- The next day, Suzie says “Screw the admin!” and starts exhorting the other players to get stuff done. Enough of this partying! (50 exp)
- Options are considered and it’s decided that heading back to the moving city Battlefortress Fate sounds like a good option. Sir Robyn’s still there after all, and apparently they know someone high-up in the city? (50 exp)
- Before they head off, a bunch of the party go off to praise Ninhursag. POWERLAD tries to get Andromeda installed as the replacement High Priestess of the dragon cult… but she’s not devoted enough yet. (50 exp)



- With POWERLAD and Stones working together, they manage to draw an inkling of the dragon’s long slow attention. They tell it their plan - to give it the omnipoison and have it tunnel through to the centre of the Earth to deliver it into the heart of the tentacle. (50 exp)



- In its own strange way, it replies. It considers the plan, and how it will have to grasp the omnipoison in its mouth, and how the tentacles are rotting from the inside so the destruction of a huge tentacle would give it a direct route to the core, and how it will take less than a season for the dragon to reach full power and pull itself from the earth. (50 exp)
--- Following Fate
- Satisfied, the party heads to the Gubers and out of the town. Synthia rides alongside on her warhorse. Bertha is coming this time, she’s not going to make the same mistakes again, so she flies with POWERLAD! (50 exp)
- In the Gubers below, Synthia and Dumbledorris dote on their odd new child. Andromeda looks at POWERLAD and Bertha swooping overhead wistfully, and RJ tries to comfort her with erotic fanfics before she shoos him away. (50 exp)
- On the way they hover past many abandoned towns. There’s truly nothing left alive this side of the river. A lone grasshopper gets fed to the baby Moopy, Dumbledorris sees a shattered hand mirror and decides to take it. (50 exp)
- The quiet is ominous, broken by distant booms. On the horizon, coming into view, is a scene of titanic struggle. The Prime Tentacle is under attack from the Apocalypse Dragon Ereshkigal. The shining bronze city of Battlefortress Fate supporting the Dragon by blasting powerful stasis beams at its foe. (50 exp)
- As they watch, a god-beam blast from Fate forces the tentacle to tear itself into two strands. One of them wraps around Ereshkigal twists, slamming the massive dragon to the ground. The earth shakes beneath the Guber, good thing they hover! (50 exp)



--- The Dead Spire
- The Gubers slow as the road goes through the walled town of Necropolis, once called Drist. The gates are ajar, the Duvan’Ku banners on the walls tattered. Chains hang from the walls, no ghouls leashed to them. (50 exp)



- Styx takes the lead, nosing his Guber through the gate and into the town proper. For a town of Necromancers in the middle of the lands of the Dead… it’s also ominously empty. (50 exp)
- They drive slowly through the town, speaking in hushed voices about how the world is way more fucked than they imagined. In time, the road leads to a square in the centre of town. (50 exp)
- Rising from the square is a spire of black glass like melted wax. Under the glassy surface, silently screaming spirits wail and shimmer. (50 exp)
- There is a noise from the yawning entrance to the spire, and a man in a black robe with a peaked hood emerges. Next to him, a man crawls across the floor then slumps to the ground dead. (50 exp)



- The Necromancer says his name is Gregorix. RJ strikes up conversation but at the sound of his voice states that he will only speak to Necromancers and only if they don’t sound like that. (50 exp)
- The party asks whether Corpulus Thrall is still around, he used to own this town and killed an acquaintance one time. At that, Gregorix cringes as the dead man on the ground burbles a “let me up, Gregorix!” (50 exp)
- Horrifyingly, the dead man on the ground is in fact a gloopy sack of skin. The skin of a grotesquely fat man, no bones or muscle, crawls over Gregorix and drapes his skin-body over his. Gregorix looks extremely uncomfortable as he quickly draws his robes closed to avoid skin contact. (50 exp)



- He doesn’t recognise POWERLAD, but does remember eating a girl’s arm that one time. “Oh I see, you knew her! Well you’ll be happy to know she’s part of me now” he says, indicating one of his arms which ends in a different skin-coloured hand. (50 exp)
- They chat for a while, Corpulus bubbling grotesquely with every word. It seems that the forces of Duvan’Ku have won, Cardinal Scream and the Rebel Dead have been defeated at the Barrowmaze, and it is merely a matter of time before Cyrus the vampire lord obtains the Ossuary of All Bones which will allow him to command all Dead across Loegria. (50 exp)
- It sounds like a big deal, but maybe later. There is a weak attempt to save Gregorix from his terrible fate, but given Corpulus’ track record of devouring people’s skin it’s decided to keep this relationship cordial for now. (50 exp)
- As a parting gift, Corpulus Thrall is given an “artificial skeleton” made of rock in a vaguely humanoid form. Gregorix mouths “thank you”. (50 exp)
- The party get back in the Gubers and head off again, leaving the western gates and zipping across the ravaged countryside towards Fate. (50 exp)
--- The Dead march past
- As the convoy reaches a bridge over a small river, they see undead outriders with huge scythes galloping past on the other bank. (50 exp)
- There’s some talk of crossing the bridge to see what it’s all about, but the riders are followed by a force of the Dead which seems like too much bother to deal with. (50 exp)
- Since the Dead can’t cross running water everyone feels safe to watch them go by… until someone notices that the bridge is covered in a thick layer of dirt. “Probably grave dirt to let them cross”, says Styx knowledgably. (50 exp)
- Nevertheless, the Guber convoy is ignored. After some time has passed and the groaning and clanking of the Dead has faded, they hover across the bridge towards distant Fate. (50 exp)
--- Bad Tentacles
- Some miles later, passing by more empty and abandoned villages, the walled town of Salisburgh comes into view on the horizon. Clanking above it is the mobile brass city of Battlefortress Fate. (50 exp)
- The terrain here is overgrown, much of it dead. Ahead, drifting serenely near the road, a floating man-sized strip of tentacle-matter seems to scent with it’s tip and begin drifting in the direction of the Guber convoy. (50 exp)



- From the scrubby trees, more of them emerge! Drifting tentacles trailing across the ground. Their tentacle-flesh is crawling with white grubs. Some of them still wear scraps of grey robes. (50 exp)



- They make an ominous howling. The earth churns behind. RJ leaps from his Guber, katana in hand, screaming, “Tentacles are the natural enemy of the weaboo!” (50 exp)
- He misses, swinging wildly, and the things drift closer to him, tentacle-arms wobbling and writhing. (50 exp)
- Synthia charges in with her warhorse to clear a path! Several tentacles are battered aside and slap to the ground, scattering them! They begin to float back up, barely fazed. (50 exp)
- Antez the Necromancer and Galaxy Johnson let loose with crossbows, Glycon lays in with her whip, but the creatures stay up. They’re strong! (50 exp)



- POWERLAD flaps his mighty wings and blasts himself into the sky! Bertha holds on for dear life! At the apex he surges with electricity and plummets like a falcon towards the ground! (50 exp)
- BOOM! He hits the ground with incredible force! Thunder booms from the detonation, and many of the tentacle monsters are destroyed in the blast! (50 exp)



- Flaming Fury lays into one with her axe, and an internal flesh-sac launches forth from the cut in a spray of white grubs! It latches onto her and she staggers backwards in revulsion! (50 exp)
- It’s getting late and this battle’s getting worse and worse. The ground churns to mud beneath people’s feet, and the rot grubs seeping from the tentacles leap for fresh flesh! (50 exp)
- It’s not looking good. With increasing desperation the party makes a hard tactical retreat. Gubers pile into the fray, the fighters are pulled onto the cars and put into hard reverse, leaving the tentacles flailing behind! (50 exp)
- With new tentacle threats ahead and devastation all around, we’ll have to see how they fare next session! (50 exp)
Total: 3350 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Coitus boners (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Freudian bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Holy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Soap Opera bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1100 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp ea)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD)- 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Flaming Fury - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Timothy / RJ  - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Charles, Ollie - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Carter, Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d’Arte bonus (Charles, Ollie - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Ollie*3 - 100 exp ea.)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Ollie, Kitty - 500 exp)
Funeral Costs A total of 123028 silver was spent on the biggest party Moondin has ever seen: - 45300sp from Galaxy Johnson (45300 exp) - 18000sp from Dumbledorris (18000 exp) - 5000sp from POWERLAD (5000 exp) - 4000sp from Andromeda (4000 exp) - 16582sp from Flaming Fury (16582 exp) - 14235sp from Robyn Jr (14235 exp) - 19911sp split between Styx and his followers (variable exp)

Active Businesses:
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1020sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
-

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 145521 (Level up at 288000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +1 lvl 4 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 10 (-50% exp)
--- Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 20298 (Level up at 36000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +1 lvl 3 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 6 (-25% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 49455 (Level up at 96000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!  
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 2 spell/day! +free spell! +saves improve! +backstory! 
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +1 lvl 3 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!  
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 3 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 48119 (Level up at 70400)
*DING!* +1d10 HP! +lorebond! +backstory!
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp)
---Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Suzie / Dumbledorris2, Level 6 Inheritor: 37405 (Level up at 72000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +saves improve! +meat points +mutation capacity! +backstory!

- Timothy / RJ, Level 6 Spider Fighter: 32638 (Level up at 64000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble! +backstory!
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3148 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3148 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!

Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 78814 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8139 (Level up at 16000)
--- Lady Goth, Level 4 Necromancer: 9068 (Level up at 18000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 lvl 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
--- Brindlefaust, Level 2 Specialist: 1568 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
--- Heriod, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6068 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
--- Blitzer, Level 2 Specialist: 1568 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2068 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- George / Snels, Level 1 Fighter: 1775 (Level up at 2000) 
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 1 Necromancer: 2043 (Level up at 2250)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)   
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers  
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 60599 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)