Friday, 11 January 2019

Session 210 - Return to TPK Mountain

Yes, it is finally here! The recap of the last session of 2018!

With Battlefortress Fate stalled by the machinations of the Rebellion, it turns out that Mt Death Frost is remarkably close by!
A quick trip across to see what's going on finds the mountain abandoned by the Dead, yet the survivors camped with the curtain walls still fear the fortress itself.
Our heroes, likely due to poor communication on my part, head for the nearby creepy cabin instead of the fortress' back door and see a bunch of creepy stuff in the basement dungeon lazily reskinned to be Christmassy.

Also this is the time we got kicked off our table but they gave us free booze for the night so that was good.

POWERLAD returns!
Dumbledorris has her soul sucked out... then becomes a soul sucker!
Galaxy RJ starts abusing his new abilities!
Abhor Global makes their interns battle to the death!
Oliver Snels runs away and gets spooked!



Might as well start this off with a CAVALCADE OF MEMES!


- All courtesy of Charles


- Tim draws Galaxy RJ, the newly revealed Martian Inheritor


- Look how fucking stoked she is about her Tracker sheet


Session 210 - Return to TPK Mountain

Campaign Date:
Wednesday 10th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zenith: Dispater
Zodiac: Taurus

New Backstory:
- Oliver Snels saw things… terrible things… when he investigated the fallen star.

Treasure and Equipment:
- Jewelled blood dagger (1400 exp)
- Blood ruby necklace (1000 exp)
- 1900sp in coins, idols, and other valuable miscellany (1900 exp)
Total: 4300 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- A blobby flesh chimera (50 exp) - A lithe, ghoul-claw flesh chimera (50 exp) - A skittering vampiric level-draining flesh chimera (100 exp)
Total: 200 exp

Exploration:
- First party to reach Fortress Death Frost in 50 years. (300 exp) - First party to explore the Cabin on Mt Death Frost in 50 years. (200 exp) - First party to enter the Death Frost Dungeon in 50 years. (500 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Events:
--- POWERLAD Returns!
- Finally it’s happened, a Christmas miracle! After weeks of bed rest, POWERLAD is back on his feet! Abhor Global reports much rejoicing! (50 exp)
- He quickly checks in with the great powers - Terms Termax and the Apocalypse Dragon Ninhursag. Terms Termax, aka Hyper-Jesus, checks in first via holy earpiece. (50 exp)
- Shit’s getting overwhelming for Terms, the Resistance has taken control of the city’s main load-bearing legs and the targeting array for the city’s macrocannon. Pls halp? (50 exp)
- POWERLAD promises to see what he can do, then checks in with Ninhursag via Drakencult High Priest Telepathy Powers. The great beast is out of the ground! Below, flickering in heartbeat-vision, cultists struggle to hold back the waves of lava that threaten to swamp Moondin. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD delivers a brief mental nudge to head towards the Prime Tentacle and destroy it. With a long ponderous motion, the dragon’s enormous head sweeps towards the east. It’s happening! (50 exp)
--- Death Frost Decision
- POWERLAD returns to the party and there is much rejoicing! He’s a little surprised to find that RJ is now Galaxy RJ, long-time doppelganger and collaborator, but weirder things have happened. (50 exp)
- Since the city is currently parked up on the edge of the enormous river Deeprush, prevented from wading across due to seditious activity, it’s only a mile or so from Mt Death Frost. (50 exp)
- And since it’s so close… why not travel that way? Let the angels handle the rebels for a bit, check out the old place, see how things are these days? Plus, it’s a high level dungeon. Shitloads of treasure for sure! (50 exp)
--- Return to the Mountain
- By wing and by chain-elevator they descend from the brass-and-stone grandeur of Battlefortress Fate, the flightless jumping into Guber-brand rune-cars to approach the mountain that looms grimly overhead. (50 exp)
- It’s a brisk day. God-beams blast down distantly. There is echoing silence, the squeal of Fate’s legs fading behind. No birdsong, not any more. Bulging, cancerous tentacles pulse and squirm wetly in the muddy ground amongst rotting wood and dead leaves, fat maggots chewing through tough tentacle-flesh and detritus alike, plopping out to writhe fatly in the muck. (50 exp)
- In the air, and on the hovering Guber platforms, they are safe from the grubs. It’s only an hour or so until they reach the foot of Mt Death Frost, following the same route that another group of doomed heroes took over half a century ago… (50 exp)
- The path upwards is lined with brightly painted animated skeletons pointing the way. The traps and pitfalls that once made the ascent so difficult are long disarmed. It’s easy to get to the top these days. (50 exp)
--- Camp Death Frost
- They approach the gates of the black fortress atop the mountain and find them closed, but it’s not long before someone spots them and calls down to them. Real people! After so long! (50 exp)
- The gates are opened and the Gubers allowed in. The courtyard within is covered in tents, the people inside seem happy and determined. Painted skeletons roam, carrying supplies and equipment from place to place. Cardinal Scream’s ravens are around, but there are so few left that he finds it hard to speak. (50 exp)
- The gate guard fetches the leader of the camp - Kat Tyburn. She’s loud, aggressive, and wears ludicrous fantasy armour. (50 exp)
- She tells them that they’ve had a few exploratory delves into the fortress since they arrived a few weeks ago, fleeing the Barrowmaze after their defeat at the hands of the vampire lord Cyrus. There are massive caches of food and water, plus a block of ice that contains the frozen body of Lulu the Barbarian. (50 exp)
- Only trouble is that they can’t live in there, hence the encampment. They’ve tried, and they’ve lost people. You go mad, or disappear, or suffer stranger fates. If you brave adventurers could clear the place out it’d be a real weight off her mind let me tell you. (50 exp)
- The other trouble is that Cyrus is going to get the Ossuary of All Bones soon, which means he’ll be able to raise the skeleton of the slain Apocalypse Dragon and presumably come back to murder everyone on his mountain. Pls halp! (50 exp)
- There are two entrances to the fortress, one in front through the skull door and one on the side with the cabin. Oh, the cabin? Yea there’s a spooky cabin nobody comes back from. Don’t go there, even if there miiight be a secret way into the fortress through it. (50 exp)
- Secret fortress entrance?! Sounds great! The party heads to the cabin, and since it’s Christmastime everything suddenly gets a very pasted-on festive veneer… (50 exp)
--- The Approach to the Cabin - Festive Edition!
- The approach to the cabin has lots of spooky candy-cane-coloured gravestones, a path leading to the door, and a hanging tree with some tinsel-rope still tied around the limb. (50 exp)
- One of Snels’ seeing-eye goblins goes to climb the tree and grab the tinsel, his claws gouging into the trunk which bleeds mulled wine, but finds himself being choked on a ghostly strand of tinsel! It’s itchy as hell, and deadly! (50 exp)
- Abhor Global spread out and find a grate going deep into the earth. They dislodge the grate and lower one of their number down on a rope… but it comes back with only a foot left! Horror! (50 exp)
- They also find a body in the snow. It’s a limp sack of skin that begins to move and wriggle and… oh it’s just Corpulus Thrall. He burbles a greeting when he sees it’s them, rather than some random rebel dead dude who’s unwisely investigating alone. (50 exp)
--- The Cabin Interior - Festive Edition!
- Inside the cabin it’s all done up for christmas. Christmas tree, tinsel, the works. A moose head cries ice from its eyeless head. A smashed clock leaks clear water which freezes as it falls. There are stockings above the fireplace. (50 exp)
- They check out the whole cabin and find fuck all. Brilliant. Corpulus unhelpfully says that he’s not really explored much, he doesn’t have the muscle mass to open the trapdoor you see, plus he only got here recently and all. The rot grubs all over the place eat flesh and he’s got a lot of it so he got the hell out of Necropolis. (50 exp)
- They open the trapdoor and Corpulus sloshes into it, falls down the shaft, and splats at the bottom. There are suddenly screams, so so many screams. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD shimmies down the handholds inside the shaft and sees what’s wrong! Oh yea, if flesh touches the screaming faces down here they start screaming, and Corpulus has a lot of it. (50 exp)
- The others follow. The screaming continues, mad chanting and wailing. At the end of the corridor is a demon face. In its mouth is a key. Dumbledorris turns the key, the door swings open, everyone bundles out aaaand the screaming stops. Thank goodness. (50 exp)
--- Death Frost Dungeon - the Chapel
- They are in an antechamber with many skeletal forearms, all left hands, on small tables. They smash them up since you can’t be too careful. The hands shatter like ice, melt, and refreeze quickly. The tables have splashy ice scultpures on them now. (50 exp)
- Corpulus lets the team take point, but at least he’s following along. They enter the next area - a large underground chapel. Chains hang from the ceiling. Pews lead to an altar inside a skull-mouthed alcove. There are basins on one wall, and a huge pipe organ on the other! (50 exp)
- Abhor Global officially recommend not playing the pipe organ. Snels can’t help himself and plays the well-known ballad Smoke on the Water. (50 exp)
- There are screams elsewhere in the dungeon. Something’s been woken up… (50 exp)
- More ballads are tried. Ghostbusters nets everyone a saving throw boost in here, while the House of the Rising Sun gives his next character +1 Wisdom, if that ever happens! (50 exp)
- Abhor Global inspect the altar in the skull mouth and see the bowl is empty. Suddenly, three of the interns begin fighting to the death! Johnny Mallet tries to pretend that it’s some sort of spooky ghost thing instead of him offering a promotion to whoever wins. (50 exp)
- Their blood is poured into the altar… and two objects are revealed within! Johnny Mallet lifts a bloodsoaked ruby-encrusted dagger and a bloodsoaked ruby amulet from the bowl. Both made of BLOOOOD! A good use of volunteer labour, that. (50 exp)
- Unfortunately they are clearly cursed. This might matter to another character, but Abhor Global mostly report on fights rather than getting involved so they’re alright. (50 exp)
- The basins contain fuckloads of teeth. No problem, Johnny Mallet needs to get rid of some dental records anyway. The dead interns’ teeth are dumped into the basin, and the nearby door swings open! (50 exp)
- They head through, finding dark corridors and doors whose hatch doors were once locked with submarine-esque locking wheels. Galaxy RJ recognises them as knock-offs of the hatch doors in Dwimmermount. (50 exp)
- There’s a corridor that doesn’t involve going through a once-locked hatch. They follow it and see, coming towards them, some crawling oozing amalgams of hands and legs and feet! Flesh monsters with an assortment of fearful powers, a blobby one, a ghoul-poison one, and most terrifyingly one with vampire fang hands that drains your levels! (50 exp)
--- Battle Against the Flesh Monsters
- POWERLAD punch-casts a Web, trapping the fiends! They get stuck, and the party fires at them while they fight their way out. Dumbledorris exudes ladymones to “chill the monsters out” and it totally works on two of them! (50 exp)
- Snels, meanwhile, runs away. Fuck that noise. (50 exp)
- Galaxy RJ has finished up a fire beam rune and blasts it at the uncontrolled monster, frying it. Abhor Global run to the pipe organ to play RIng of Fire by deceased bard Johnny Cash, but succeed only in deafening themselves. (50 exp)
- With the web burning away, Dumbledorris makes them fight each other for her love. Success! The others aim their crossbows and ranged weaponry at the fiery combat, ready to nuke the loser. (50 exp)
- The vampire fang creature sucks the life out of the ghoul claw one and looks admiringly at its mistress. The others nuke it! Crossbows and fire runes blast out at it…. But it’s still alive! (50 exp)
- Betrayed and hurt, it breaks out of Dumbledorris’ control! She screams as it bites her in the leg! She feels her life essence being sucked away, crippling her leg and draining, this cannot be overstated, a whole level of experience. (50 exp)
- Galaxy RJ slaps at it and transforms into a copy. The deafened interns nearby throw the blood dagger inaccurately, see it hit the ground and slop into blood, then reappear in the intern’s hand! (50 exp)
- Galaxy RJ bites into the vampire monster, slurps up its innards, and kills it! Dumbledorris immediately collapses on it to steal its overpowered powers. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris can now drain levels with a bite, crippling enemies and healing herself, as well as passively steal memories. Fucking hell. (50 exp)
--- Don’t Mind Me
- Galaxy RJ heads down the corridor in flesh-monster-form. The perfect disguise! In the room beyond he sees a whole squirming floor of flesh monsters, slopping around a metal frankenstein-style bed. Also in the room - a book! (50 exp)
- The Book of All Flesh details how to create flesh monsters, just like the ones in this room and the ones they fought before. Neat! He gives it to POWERLAD for safekeeping. (50 exp)
- Since he’s a flesh monster and they won’t attack him, Galaxy RJ roots around under the flabby bodies of the flesh golems, finding 1900sp in lost valuables! Sweet! (50 exp)
- There is some debate as to what to do with the flesh golems. Clearly they’ve been making more of themselves, and they’re probably the reason why investigators disappear down here. But also they’re pretty innocent. What to do? Galaxy RJ says he’ll free them one day and moves off, awkwardly. (50 exp)
--- Snels jogs on
- Snels, down the corridor, has already discovered an eye made up of many eyes. It’s creepy. He looks around and picks another corridor, coming across another open door. (50 exp)
- He enters and finds many empty child-sized burial nooks. Freaky! He fucks off, freaking out, even leaving behind the scattered copper eye-coins all over the ground. (50 exp)
--- Regroup in the Dungeon
- He returns to the rest of the party, glad that he didn’t have to fight the flesh beasts. They decide to hole up in the chapel for now and debate whether to stick around here or head back up. (50 exp)
- Thus ends D&D 2018, hanging around in a hole in the ground in a spooky dungeon beneath a spooky cabin, having fought some horrible flesh monsters that were immediately devoured by someone in the party. Classic! (50 exp)
Total: 2850 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Holy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1050 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Abhor Global - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Timothy / Galaxy RJ - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Suzie / Dumbledorris - 100 exp) - Bad Succ bonus (Suzie / Dumbledorris - 100exp) - Cursed bonus (James / Abhor Global - 100 exp) - JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty - 500 exp) - Art Attack bonus (Timothy, Charles - 100 exp ea.) - Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Dumbledorris had her life essence sucked from her by a horrible vampire flesh monster, losing an entire level!
Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 149678 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp) 
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 5 Inheritor: 29080 (Level up at 36000)
*LEVEL DRAIN* -1d6 HP. -2 meat points. -1 mutation capacity
- Timothy / Galaxy RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 38181 (Level up at 72000)
- James / Abhor Global, Level 4 Extras: 7852 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +backstory!
- Jorge / Oliver Snels, Level 3 Barbarian: 5773 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Table! +1 round rage! +backstory!

(Absent) Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 82575 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9550 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8621 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6550 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2550 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 2050 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 2050 (Level up at 3000) 

Absent or Retired:
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000) 
- Charles, ??? Romantico, Level 3 Barbarian: 5244 (Level up at 8000) 
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)    
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp) 
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

Tuesday, 18 December 2018

Session 209 - The Belly of the Beast

It's a Christmas miracle, I sent this before lunch! Since I'm rushing a bit, as usual, send me your changes and alterations to the things I got wrong!

An assault on the drakencult base ends in near-disaster, Styx fights for his licensing fees,

Christmas Special delayed to after Christmas... partially because Carter's not here and partially because I haven't had a chance to prep anything!

Here goes, see you tonight for the LAST D&D OF THE YEAR!

Session 209 - The Belly of the Beast

Campaign Date:
Wednesday 10th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zenith: Dispater
Zodiac: Taurus
New Characters:
- Señor Romantico, an elderly Berber Barber Barbarian on the hunt for the people who stole his identity,

New Backstory:
- Señor Romantico’s mistress died too young in a great battle, and he’s always cursed the one who took her from him. (Double damage against enemies that killed a PC this session)



Treasure and Equipment:
-
Total: 0 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- A mob of Banjo Fishwicks (600 exp)
- A gang of William Fox-Shitts (1000 exp) - A squad of mixed Ereshkigal Drakencultists (1000 exp)- A nascent Elemental Dragon (500 exp)
Total: 3100 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the Orthoplex Crater of the Black Drakencult (1000 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Events:
--- Riot War!
- We open on a new day. The Rebellion spreads further, ever growing, faster than the Angels and Loyalists can truly deal with while they’re distracted by Drakencult. (50 exp)
- Speaking of - the Drakencult land in Lowgarden and, faced with Rebels, immediately call down a dragon. There is a line of shattered space-time, like a crack in a mirror, from the apex of the Sciotherico. Down in Lowgarden, there is a roar as an elemental dragon births itself. (50 exp)
--- Pimp My Guber
- Styx heads out into the Rebel-held area of East Gate, following a lead he heard last session. Since he’s still technically the father of the rebellion, the transport system is conveniently swift. (50 exp)
- He arrives in East Gate and makes a beeline for East Gate Kustoms - the Guber shop. It’s run by Alvin Joiner who is meant to be a parody of Xzibit in Pimp My Ride, but nobody remembers how that voice goes and also Pimp My Ride hasn't been in the zeitgeist for a decade so he ends up pretty generic. (50 exp)



- Styx wants to know how they permanently power runes and Alvin wants to pay less for licensing the Guber copyright. They do business. (50 exp)
- After some haggling and some distant yells of “that’s a shit deal!!” from Dumbledorris who is nowhere nearby, Alvin take Styx to see the way they permanently power runes - a female Dwarf with a mohawk named Punky. (50 exp)
- Punky tells him it’s her Lorebond that allows her to permanently power runes - although it’s not without cost. Powering so many Gubers has given her a strange stretched sense of where all her runes are, and constant bad dreams. (50 exp)
- Styx promises to come back and use his Dream Needle to make her sleep better, something that she’d very much appreciate. She tells him to come back any time! (50 exp)
--- Onwards and Upwards!
- The rest of the party is busy figuring out how they’ll get up to the top of the Sciotherico and take out the Drakencult who lair there. Stop them and they’ll stop the daily assaults on the city, plus free up enough angels to make a dent in the spread of rebels. (50 exp)
- Styx heads to Student’s Lament to take over the group of angels there, bringing them to Bank so that they can fly the party up to the top of the great palace. (50 exp)
- Andromeda gets in touch with Hyper-Jesus to tell him why they’re letting their rebel-adjacent friend nick some angels. (50 exp)
- Luckily he’s kind of distracted right now - Fate is at the edge of the great river Deeprush, preparing to wade across, but Dispater’s back in the sky and trying to get control of the Seraphim that was just captured. He’s also worried about how to get past the blue dragon Mardük. Basically - lots on his plate, please don’t bother him unless you have solutions. (50 exp)
--- First Ascent Thwarted
- Styx arrives and the party ascends on angelback towards the top of the Sciotherico. As they get closer they see a pitch black rift in the side of the palace, like a hole in space. Circling it are winged figures - drakencult! (50 exp)



- The cultists descend, Flaming Furies on huge black wings supported by Zenas and Insanity Mammoths on wings that constantly explode and reform. (50 exp)
- Verbal barbs are traded and the threat of the Drakencult is too much since the angels are in flight mode. (50 exp)
- Styx commands the angels to descend, and the mocking laughter of the drakencult follows as they catch the updrafts back up towards the top of the palace. (50 exp)
- A new plan is formulated - the angels will arc up and around, coming in over the hole in the side of the palace. The bulk of the party will drop in from above while Styx lands on the peak with his angels and keeps the drakencult at bay. (50 exp)
--- HALO drop!
- On the way up the darkness wave begins to dissipate, allowing the party to see far and wide! They can see Mt Death-Frost a few miles away. Distantly, the black silhouette of Ereshkigal is growing its gravity well. (50 exp)
- The angels turn to zoom along the top of the palace, along the barrel of the macrocannon, rushing headlong towards the winged drakencult and the entry to rift! (50 exp)
- Styx sends the party’s angels upwards, peeling them off from the main group which land and begin to transform into attack form! Stasis beams begin blasting towards the cultists, who begin winging down to attack! (50 exp)
- It’s the opening the main party need. As one, they drop from the angels, angling themselves towards the rift! They whoosh past the distracted cultists, and at the last minute Andromeda casts Feather Fall! (50 exp)
- There is a spacial lensing effect as they fall into the void, everything else getting more and more distant as the rift gets closer. (50 exp)



- The blackness encompasses them one by one. From Styx’s perspective, they shoot like daggers into the hole, like they’re jumping to hyperspace. (50 exp)
--- The Orthoplex Crater
- The outside world is down a long tunnel, then it closes off. Their momentum is arrested inside a black dodecahedron. The air is like treacle. (50 exp)
- They turn, and realise that two of the walls of the dodecahedron are different - the stretch out, forming corridors that pierce into the innards of the Sciotherico. There is a strange effect as you move - it’s easy to step back the way you came - leaving a trail of compressed space behind you. (50 exp)
- They pick a route at random and explore, Andromeda kicking on her heartbeat vision when they reach a junction. Distances are strange, walls and floors the brassy mechanisms of the internal Sciotherico but fractal and shattered. (50 exp)
- Andromeda’s heart-vision detects a small group in one direction, and in the other they see a decayed chamber with a number of cultists praying around one of their number who is about to achieve apotheosis! (50 exp)



--- Suicide Bombers!!
- Suddenly, explosions in the party’s midst! A gang of Banjo Fishwicks appears in the middle of the party, blasting themselves in with explosions that hurt themselves as much as enemies! (50 exp)
- They cackle and there are calls for retreat, but Dumbledorris blows her Lady-mones and forces nearby men to obey her! Senor Romantico is well into it, as are a few of the Fishwicks. Andromeda turns it into Notcoke and gets COKED UP (50 exp)



- There are cries of “KILL EM ALL!” and Lonely Blade slashes in, getting blown back into the low-grav zone for his trouble. Andromeda unleashes a Magic Missile Punch barrage. (50 exp)
- While the others deal with the unseduced Fishwicks, Dumbledorris takes her new minions into the next area to disrupt the apotheosis! (50 exp)
- They blast into combat with their enemies - a gang of Fox-Shitt’s! The battle is now on two fronts - versus the Fox-Shitts and versus the Fishwicks. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris attempts to cast Return to Mother on the partially apotheosised dragon… but it doesn’t work. The dragon, born of an ascendant Fox-Shitt, is effectively its own parent. (50 exp)
- RJ scuttles across the ceiling and drops onto the almost-complete dragon, fangs bared. “Poison is OP!” he yells as he falls. He disrupts the ritual, but fails to kill the Decay cultist in his shell. (50 exp)



- A blast of Decay washes around him, aging him 10 years, rotting his clothes and katana to uselessness, and fixing his voice (thank god). (50 exp)
- In return he’s focus-fired by nearly a whole room of Fox-Shitt’s. Their Decay Breath blasts out of their mouths, aging him immediately and drastically until he withers up and dies.... (50 exp)



--- The Longest Con
- Or it would have done, if RJ hadn’t been a Martian Inheritor the whole time! It’s been months since fighting the doppelgangers in Dwimmermount and he’s been a copy the whole time! What a ruse! (50 exp)



- The flesh melts off, revealing a red-skinned elf-like being, nude and clay, which immediately jumps into the crowds below. There’s an extra Fox-Shitt, but which is the real one? (50 exp)
- Senor Romantico sees this all goes down and yells to Andromeda - “flee! Save yourself!”. She says she won’t leave if RJ is still alive, but Senor Romantico assures her - “I saw him die! Just go!” (50 exp)
- One of the Fox-Shitt’s points to another and goes “it’s him! The copy!”. They all turn on him and kill him, the Martian Inheritor was short-lived. (50 exp)
- Or was he!? While the Fox-Shitt’s murder the imposter, another of their number steps back through his spacetime channel and towards the entry zone. (50 exp)
- The party, including the new Red Inheritor, step back through their warp-channels towards the entrance. The Fox-Shitts chase after, using their own step-warps to follow along. (50 exp)
- Andromeda summons an illusion of a black-scaled POWERLAD to cover their escape, telling the enemies that “they went thataway!”, a classic. (50 exp)
- They warp out from the dodecahedron, swimming outwards faster and faster until they’re out over the city! They look up and see the sky is clear, save for Styx in his bot. The angels were destroyed, but so were the attacking Drakencult guards. (50 exp)
- They begin to fall and Styx zooms down to scoop them up! The day is saved! Unfortunately due to his death gimmick, Senor Romantico falls to his death. There’ll be a new Romantico next session for sure. Joy. (50 exp)
--- Riot War!
- As they rest and lick their wounds, the war for the city continues to rage. The Resistance spreads, but angels are beginning to lock down the city centre. Hyper-Jesus will surely win in the end! (50 exp)
Total: 2250 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Holy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1050 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp ea)
- Caller (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp) - Chippo Man bonus (Carter*2 - 100 exp ea.) - Hummous Hero bonus (Tim D - 100 exp) - Olive Oligarch bonus (Tim D - 100 exp) - Mulled Maniac bonus (Tim D - 100 exp)- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Carter, Kitty - 500 exp)

Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- RJ… or so it seemed! He’d been a doppelganger all along!
Exp Totals:
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 40268 (Level up at 72000)
- Timothy / RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 36101 (Level up at 72000)
*WHAT A TWIST!*
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp)
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Charles, ??? Romantico, Level 3 Barbarian: 5044 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +rolls on Barbarian Levelup Table! +1 round of rage! +backstory!

Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 81366 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)  

Absent or Retired:
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- James / Abhor Global, Level 3 Extras: 4862 (Level up at 6000) 
- George / Oliver Snels, Level 2 Barbarian: 2883 (Level up at 4000)   
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)

-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp)  
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)