Sunday, 15 October 2017

Session 154 - Race for the Cure

With three PCs down and no high level Cleric in sight, the race for a bunch of new level 1 characters to find a cure for the horrendous Pudding Affliction!

Bertha's sordid past is definitely one of my favourite bits of emergent narrative yet. All the great emotional character stuff seems to happen to Kitty!
On that note: Attached to this very email is a super secret page from Bertha's super secret diary. Thank goodness POWERLAD's on his way back to health, I don't think I could handle it if he died!

With the disease cured, will we see the return of Zena and co? Or will newcomers like Galaxy Johnson stick around to see how they do? Find out next time!!



Session 154 - Race for the Cure

Campaign Date:
Monday, 14 October, 1600
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:
- Bertha, POWERLAD's wife, is a PC now! She has a secret former life... and she's a Necromancer now.
- Galaxy Johnson, an Alpdrucke from the nearby old ruins who is the host for an alien soul
- Tippin, a Dickensian orphan ratboy who fled his exploitative human master
- Larry's Legends, a group of out-of-work Knacker Extras in search of a cause

Enemies Defeated:
- A couple of skin-kites (20 exp)
Total: 20 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A fairly uninspiring gem (10 exp)
- A cure for the pudding affliction!
Total: 10 exp

Exploration:-  30 or so miles of travel (100 exp)- 2 random encounters (100 exp)
- First party to visit Treehole (100 exp)
- First party to visit Fondle (100 exp)
- First party to visit Fatknob (100 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Events:
- POWERLAD, Zena and Borodin are feverish wrecks, and to everyone's dismay Carrie Meleste is out of town. It's up to Bertha and a ragtag group of ne'redowells to find a doctor before it's too late! (50 exp)
- Since Bertha is getting upgraded to a perspective character, we suddenly get insight into her past. As she collects the makeup kit and brass knuckles of her former life, we discover that Bertha is an ex-prostitute. Needless to say, POWERLAD doesn't know. (50 exp)

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- After hitting up Spicy Mac's in search of healing herbs (pretty much oregano etc) the crew heads off towards the closest village of Treehole. (50 exp)
- Indeed, the trees as they approach all have holes bored through their centres. Cheers can be heard, and as the party approach they see a large crowd gathered around the church. (50 exp)
- Larry's Legend ask the crowd what's going on. It's the big football match against Fatknob! One of those OG football matches where everyone from one town tries to get a football to another town. (50 exp)
- In between the two villages is Fondle, who are the site of the de facto midfield. The ball is there somewhere. Sometimes they try to hide it so the game can't happen, sometimes they just leave it out in the hopes the game passes through no problem. Either way their town gets trashed. (50 exp)
- The church bell rings, and the game is on! The mob of players starts running towards Fondle, cheered on by their families on rooftops! But horrifyingly, as they clear the edge of the forest, skin kites can be seen wafting through the air. (50 exp)

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- Screams and yells greet the sight, some picking up the pace and others hanging back. Right near the party, two kites have descended on unlucky runners. (50 exp)
- One has managed to get caught up in the branches of a fallen tree. Bertha takes it out with a clean hit from POWERLAD's crossbow. He'd be so proud. (50 exp)
- As she goes over to help the partially skinned victim, Larry's Legends sprint in and burn it back with torches. To their dismay, the skin kite does not die and instead reaps a bunch of skin from the Extras, even after Relford the Retainer heaves in with an ineffective hammer. (50 exp)
- The Legends finish it off, but it's too late for the skinless victim. Alas. (50 exp)
- Bertha reaches the other victim, an old lady called Beryl, and inspects her partially skinned hand. It looks bad, but Larry's Legends spit on it with their surprisingly effective First Aid spit. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson searches the other body and finds a mildly valuable gem. He is triggered due to its similarities to the rock that gave him a split personality and chucks it, but luckily an Extra is there to grab it before it hits the ground. (50 exp)
- Beryl knows of a doctor in Fiskit and offers to lead the party there. Unfortunately the football game has reached Fondle and is now heading back in the party's direction! The group hurriedly move out of the way and go country to avoid the game. (50 exp)
- As they crest a hill on the approach to the road, the party witness an army contingent bearing down on a band of Necromancers! At their head, a Cleric who is berating a black-robed figure on a skeletal horse. (50 exp)
- The party jog in with Bertha at the head, asking what's going on here. It seems the Necromancers have come too far south and breached a boundary somewhere. The Necromancer says he didn't realise he'd already crossed the border. Argue argue argue. (50 exp)
- Bertha does an absolutely amazing diplomatic job, talking the Cleric down and arguing that it was clearly an honest mistake and there are more pressing issues in the football game to the south. (50 exp)
- The Cleric comes round, mollified by Necromancer's promises to leave for the Dead Zone immediately, and takes her troops to break up the stupid football game. (50 exp)
- In thanks, the Necromancer force offers Bertha a skeletal horse. Unfortunately she's not strong enough to control it yet! But he does tell Bertha to give them his name in Necropolis if she ever wants to requisition supplies or skeleton horses. (50 exp)
- Finally, as the day draws long, the party make it to Fiskit. It's a rather steep seaside town, and out to sea the tops of sunken spires can be seen thrusting above the waves. And of course, sea salties are being sold all along the main streets by raggedy saltie-sellers. (50 exp)

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- Beryl leads everyone to the doctor's practice she's heard about. The doctor is called Elenor, and her shop is full of strange incense and leeches and other weird early doctory stuff. (50 exp)
- She salves Beryl's hand, and says that she specialises in the treatment of diseases. Convenient! The party scrape together enough money to pay for her services for the next three days, with the promise that there'll be more in Helix when they get there, and she agrees to join them. (50 exp)
- She also lets the party stay overnight, since it's getting late. They head out the following morning bright and early. (50 exp)
- On the way back, they head through Fatknob. The despondent locals tell them that they lost the football match, and that the cops tried to break up the game. (50 exp)
- Continuing on, after an hour or so of walking some drag marks are seen going off the side of the road into a small copse. Investigation is broken off when the awful smell and yellowish slime of ghouls is found. Fuck that. (50 exp)
- As they go through Treehole, Larry and his Legends drop Beryl off back at her house, and impose long enough for her to make them all tea. (50 exp)
- Finally, after a good few hours walking, the party make it back to Helix! Hooray! In their absence, Zena and POWERLAD have been wasting away to fever. (50 exp)
- The doctor is in! She diagnoses and thinks she knows a cure. It involves smearing the blood-honey from the spore crazed bees in the Quenchless Mouth of Many over their naked bodies, then passing flames above them until the honey is dry and cracked. The disease will flake away with the honey. (50 exp)
- "Uh fuck yea do that" says Bertha. Dr Elenor disappears off for a little while, and comes back with pots of red honey. A nailbiting series of boosted rolls results in nothing less than a total cure for POWERLAD, Zena, and even Borodin! What a result! (50 exp)

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- Thanks Eleanor profusely for her lifesaving treatment, POWERLAD and Bertha set her up with a new business in Helix to be their on-call doctor. Honey Healing is here! It'll lose a Physician's monthly wage each month (so keep topping it up) but this way the business will help subsidise! (50 exp)
Total: 1500 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy 
bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium 
bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOOoOoOky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Tippin - 100 exp)- Treasurer (Sunni / Larry's Legends - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Fraser - 500 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Fraser*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Kitty - 100 exp)
Rumours:
-
 I forgot!

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 369sp. (Zena's Stake: 246sp, Carrie's Stake: 123sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 4000sp.
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2400sp. (Nix's Stake: 2000sp. Bertha's Stake: 400sp)

Out of Action:
- Gimlass. Broken Collarbone. Healed by: 2nd November 1660.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Remarkably, none!
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 1 Necromancer: 1058 (Level up at 2250)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 1 Elf (Alpdrucke): 858 (Level up at 3000)
--- Relford, Level 0 Hireling
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

Absent or Retired:- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 50471 (Level up at 64000)- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 46331 (Level up at 72000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- James / Ratimir, Level 3 Ratman: 3761 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, 
Level 5 Cleric: 24337 (Level up at 28000)
Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Sunday, 8 October 2017

Session 153 - Mental, Elf, Crisis

What a session!
6 enter, 4 leave, only one conscious.
Brutal stuff! At least there was a fair amount of treasure for the trouble!

I have been remiss in that last week I forgot to put Charles' remembrancy pictures in! I will put them in here, and after Fraser's space dnd recap it is time for me to put images INLINE for dramatic effect!

So without further ado, Charles' doodles from last time, folllowed by recap!

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Session 153 - Mental, Elf, Crisis

Campaign Date:
Monday, 8 October, 1600
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:
- Borodin, a Cleric who's been out of the adventuring game for over 50 years, back in the game after a wild drunken bender for a special appearance!
- Ratimir, a totally-not-Russian Ratman (aka Blyatman) furrier who answered Zena's ad for an adventuring ratman retainer.
- Meteor Power Shower, a Barbarian bowyer who claims to be a Magma Hun.

New Backstory:
- Borodin, original name Buttshine, retired from adventuring to be a successful dog breeder. His drinking habit eventually led to his god Brodin telling him to change his name and head to Helix, a plan which went off without a hitch. (Once per session, one planned action goes off without a hitch!)
- Zena was once captured by demons and at their mercy, luckily a rat helped chew through her bonds and she took the opportunity to escape! (No chance of passing out from Pain while fleeing)
- POWERLAD's parents' crossbow-making trade was under threat from a devious tax collector bent on putting them out of business. POWERLAD, naturally, joined the resistance! (Once per session, you can find a defector in the room)
- Chiffon disappointed everyone by doing something he had sworn never to do.... wear socks with sandals. (Once per session you can automatically pass an attack, save and/or skill roll. Once each. For the rest of the session you get -2 to that type of roll.)
- Insanity Mammoth was looting a church for its sweet architecturally and historically valuable architecture when the entire steeple fell on him and broke all of his bones except for the all-important collarbones. He lay there for weeks, subsisting only on the woodlice and grubs that crawled near his broken-jawed mouth. (Once per session, survive the results of a cataclysmic failure)

Enemies Defeated:
- A superleech!!! (750 exp)
- A gang of mongreloids (50 exp)
- A powerful and disease-ridden 'pudding' (750 exp)
Total: 1550 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 101gp (5050 exp)
- A map
-1001cp (101 exp)
Total: 5151 exp

Exploration:- Explored 8 dungeon rooms (160 exp)- 1 Wandering Monster rolled (50 exp)
Total: 210 exp

Events:
- In the town square, the party pay the town crier to drum up some hirelings. Success! (50 exp)
- Zena is disappointed that no ratmen showed up yet, and hires a single man-at-arms to help with the murders. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth is still too much of a burns victim to gain HP, but he's somehow acquired a wheelchair and hires a wheelchair-pusher for his ill-advised foray into the Barrowmaze. (50 exp)
- Joining the group today is Boradin, a Nonanist Cleric who follows the party god Brodin. Carousing is discussed before it is decided that they'll just party when they get back. (50 exp)
- A series of 666 crows descends upon Spicy Mac's shop and requests that someone clear out 3 rooms in Area 3 of the Barrowmaze in exchange for 1001cp. "We were going there anyway" says the party.
- Everyone pays Grim Charlie his silver to let them fast travel, and the group heads to the Barrowmoor. Insanity Mammoth's wheelchair, presumably, rumbles along behind. (50 exp)
- At the Barrows, Insanity Mammoth tries to exort his fellow adventurers to help him loot the actual physical dungeon and its actual physical architecture. Chiffon's not having any of it. (50 exp)
- They enter the previously excavated barrow and briefly attempt to remove the hot plate from the lower chamber. Chisels result in boiling steam spurting out. (50 exp)
- The mysterious fog fills the room, possibly unrelated, and brings with it fatigue. The party are forced to rest for ten minutes to get back to strength. (50 exp)
- They head for the dungeon proper and Insanity Mammoth complains about the lack of handicapped accessibility in this dungeon as he's manhandled down the stairs. Great point. (50 exp)
- The door into the infamous leech room is opened... and a great big leech is revealed squatting in the pool of water. Insanity Mammoth decides to ignore it and go around the edge of the room. (50 exp)
Insanity Mammoth shoots his new mighty bow at it from the wheelchair. BAD IDEA! The leech lunges and stretches reeaaal long! Luckily it goes for his disability assistant who begins getting drained! (50 exp)

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- POWERLAD misses with his crossbow and is mildly embarrassed, Zena swaps electricity for fire on her halberd, Borodin charges a Magma Beam. (50 exp)
- Together, the fire makes the great leech release its bloodsucking grip on John the Disability Attendant and the magma solidifies on its body making it fall back into the pool. (50 exp)
- It sinks, and Zena finishes it off by sticking the electric-glyph end of her halberd into the water, frying that sucker. (50 exp)
- They continue to explore. A room with a mural like cloaked figures walking clockwise around a spiral on the floor is found. POWERLAD walks clockwise and reveals it to be a cool optical illusion where the spiral retracts into darkness like it's disappearing into a pit.. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth continues trying to persuade the party that they should loot the very walls of the dungeon, starting with this mural. Fog rolls past everyone's ankles and fatigue sets in again. (50 exp)
- After further rest, some doors are inspected. One has the electric trap from last session, and POWERLAD discovers he takes half damage from electricity AND can use the other half to boost the damage of his next punch. (50 exp)
- The other room has a slime trail where something plopped off the ceiling and crawled into a hole. Borodin magma-beams it and fries it good. (50 exp)
- There's a weird shitty bathroom in a tiny room. Borodin takes the opportunity to relieve himself, but awkwardly the toilet doesn't flush. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth's wheelchair thumps over a pit trap. He makes John shove him forward so he crashes into the edge of a corridor on the other side. John follows sheepishly. (50 exp)
- Unfortunately Nix is just a step behind and triggers the trap! She falls 20' but is fairly ok.  She's pulled out with a rope and the slowly-closing lid is spiked shut. Insanity Mammoth also creates a dirt ramp. (50 exp)

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Ahead, he hears muffled voices questioning the noise. He wheels around the corner and sees some of the mismatched animal body part Mongreloids at the other end of the room! They flee as he charges in his wheelchair! (50 exp)
- Thwarted, Insanity Mammoth looks around. There is a pit in this room, and a lingering sweetness. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD is tied to a rope and lowered into the pit. He is struck by the sleep-inducing spores exuded by the purple moss but keeps his head, blinking through drowsy eyes at a couple of man-sized lumps under the thick growth. (50 exp)
- He gets himself raised back up and activates a Take-Light-Earth glyph. The spores are sucked into the runes, allowing him to touch down at the bottom and investigate the bodies. Moss grows up his legs, but no quick enough. (50 exp)

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- POWERLAD claims a bunch of gold and a map that shows a route to "the Pit" with a warning not to go there! Sweet! (50 exp)
- Chiffon summons a a ghostly bouncer to let him through a locked door, who obliges after checking him and his mates off the ghostly guest list. (50 exp)
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- A wall of stench billows through the opened door. Inside, a gloopy stinky ooze has schlooped over a body which it is slowly digesting! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth yells CHARGE! John the attendant wheels him in at ramming speed, hits a bump, and sends the barbarian flying towards the ooze with axe held high! (50 exp)
- He slams in, a spray of awful pus splurts from the wound and grants him a terrible disease, and Insanity Mammoth's uncanny luck sends him sliding all the way out of the room to the edge of the purple moss pit. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD is a pro and tosses a lantern in... but for the first time in a long time purging with flaming oil has a worse effect! The fire boils the goop, and acrid clouds of virulent disease blast through the room before POWERLAD can close the door! (50 exp)
- John the disability attendant doesn't stand a fucking chance. He dies in the corner, not that anybody remembers he was there. (50 exp)
- Nix and Zena pull emergency mould masks over their mouths, activating the Take Plant runes on the front. Safety from disease! (50 exp)
- Chiffon slides towards the unconscious bulk of Insanity Mammoth and sweeps him into the sleepy moss pit, saving him from the ooze. What a save! (50 exp)
- Meanwhile the blob advances on Zena and Nix as they drag the unconscious and feverish POWERLAD from out of harm's way. (50 exp)
- Borodin, meanwhile, fights through the fever burning through his veins and sprints away,
- Zena jumps in front, taking the hit. It slams her hard with a blobby protuberance, knocking the wind out of her and disabling her spore mask. Her next shuddering breath draws in the disease cloud and the pox spreads through her system. (50 exp)
- Down the hole, Chiffon first aids Insanity Mammoth back to consciousness. He starts dragging himself up the rope (still tied to the battered wheelchair in the gloop's original room) and activates RAGE as soon as he starts losing consciousness! (50 exp)
- He crests the lip on burnt-to-fuck legs and "angrily" looses an arrow towards the glop, following up with an instakill gambit to take it out of the fight! (50 exp)
- His blood-maddened eyes turn on Zena and Nix, but before he can murder all his friends, Chiffon saves the day AGAIN by tackling Insanity Mammoth into the pit AGAIN. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth lands on a spike... and he's not happy about it. Chiffon tries to cast Spiderclimb to escape, but Insanity Mammoth's flailing disrupts the spell! The chaos burst turns Chiffon chartreuse, and deludes him into thinking his long lost brother is one of the corpses. (50 exp)
- Crying out he starts digging, only for Insanity Mammoth to cleave through one of his arms at the elbow! (50 exp)
- Chiffon angrily slices at the raging barbarian, slicing the top of his head clean off... but Insanity Mammoth's twitching corpse manages to slice Chiffon's other arm off before finally collapsing. (50 exp)
- Chiffon dies, spurting blood from both sides, leaving a perfect Mark Rothko on each side of the pit with his lifeblood. (50 exp)

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- Hearing the savage sounds and following silence, Nix begins dragging the unconscious and feverish bodies of her friends out of the dungeon. Exhausted, she pays Grim Charlie the travel costs and collapses in the back covered in blood and stench. (50 exp)
- On the way back, her diseased compatriots fall into a coma. Worried, Nix dumps them in the cheapest inn room she can find and retires to her own lavish suite. Bertha, POWERLAD's loving wife, does her best to try to wake her comatose husband from his fever to no avail. (50 exp)
- She falls back onto the fluffy perfumed pillows of her room's four-poster and, concern for her fellow party member paramount in her mind, opens her book on Disease. Will rune magic assist in curing them? Yes, it says. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, Ratimir the Ratman enquires after Zena's job offer, and Meteor Power Shower the Magma Hun shows up in town. (50 exp)
- "Fuck I hope Andy's here next week", say all. (50 exp)
Total: 2500 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting 
bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Poison is OP bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1150 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Insanity Mammoth - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Chipbringer (Tom*2 - 200 exp)
JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Fraser, James - 500 exp ea.)
- Teamkilled bonus (Insanity Mammoth, Chiffon - 500 exp ea.)
- Awesome death bonus (Insanity Mammoth - 500 exp)
- Noble Sacrifice bonus (Chiffon - 1000 exp)
- Diseased bonus (Zena, POWERLAD, Borodin - 100 exp ea.)
- Death's Witness bonus (All who heard the screams - 100 exp ea.)

Rumours:
I forgot to roll for these OOPS

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 348sp. (Zena's Stake: 232sp, Carrie's Stake: 116sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 4000sp.

Out of Action:
- Gimlass. Broken Collarbone. Healed by: 2nd November 1660.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Insanity Mammoth, stabbed through the head by Chiffon after being tackled into a pit to save others from his rage
- Chiffon, dismembered by the enraged Insanity Mammoth after stabbing him through the head in an effort to save others from his rage.
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 50471 (Level up at 64000)- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 46331 (Level up at 72000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)- James / Chiffon, Level 4 Elf (Canny Childe): 13945 (Level up at 24000)
*DECEASED*
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 4 Barbarian: 13905
 (Level up at 16000)*DECEASED*- Sunni / Borodin, Level 4 Cleric: Guest Appearance!
- James / Ratimir, Level 3 Ratman: 3761 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Max Rats - 4! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Max rats - 9! +backstory!

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Levelup table! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 24337 (Level up at 28000)
Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Saturday, 30 September 2017

Session 152 - Backdoor Bandits

Session 152 - Backdoor Bandits

Campaign Date:
Monday, 3 October, 1600
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

Enemies Defeated:
- 4 huge leeches (100 exp)
- 2 grub-infested corpses (150 exp)
- 2 strange super zombies (100 exp)
Total: 350 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A runic tablet
- A few well-arguedly valuable chunks of ancient mosaic (44856 exp)
Total: 44856 exp

Exploration:- First to enter the Folded Fortress of Ereshkigal (500 exp)- First to enter Area 3 of the Barrowmaze (300 exp)
- Alternate entrance to Area 3 of the Barrowmaze discovered (300 exp)
- Secret door found (50 exp)
- Explored 6 dungeon rooms (120 exp)
- Wandering monster rolled (50 exp)
Total: 1420 exp

Events:
--- A pre-game sidequest
- We're back! And as players filter in, Tom takes Insanity Mammoth for a trip to investigate the lair of the Gravity Dragon (50 exp)
- It is a huge chunk of floating mountain, the coils of the black dragon Ereshkigal emerging from the grey stone. It is surrounded by floating boulders and spacial anomalies and waterfalls flowing upwards and winged silhouettes. Proper shit. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth trudges in from the forest. Around him, grubby Halflings with bows keep pace. They wave him along towards the mountain. (50 exp)
- As he gets close, Insanity Mammoth swoops down from above on booming wings! The two Insanity Mammoths behold each other. (50 exp)
- "Hail, brother!" he booms in a voice that rumbles like distant thunder, "which iteration are you?!". Pale light glows from within him, orange glowing between his black scales and light shining from his eyes and mouth with every syllable. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth, our Insanity Mammoth, requests an audience with the Gravity Dragon. The winged Insanity Mammoth obliges, flying him up to the floating mountain and leading him blindfolded (to prevent the non-euclidean geometries driving him mad) to the great head of the dragon itself. (50 exp)
- Head dragonpriests POWERLAD and Andromeda greet him as the blindfold is removed. They, too, have wings and scales, although theirs are glossy black like the scales of Ereshkigal itself. They allow Insanity Mammoth to place his hand on Ereshkigal's brow, and he is inducted into the Cult. (50 exp)
- Bound by taboos and restrictions, yet gaining new abilities, Insanity Mammoth gains a bond with the dragon! So far - he has an affinity for the Mass rune, and so can power a glyph containing such a rune with a single action. (50 exp)
--- Some weeks later
- Insanity Mammoth turns up at Helix and meets up with the rest of that party. Big reunion! (50 exp)
- They restock on necessaries, Insanity Mammoth extorts protection money from Tom's other character Spicy Mac, and a mad old man called Alastair passes on a message that a mysterious benefactor will pay money if they complete a particular quest. (50 exp)
- The mysterious benefactor is blatantly Cardinal Scream and he wants several rooms in the Chaos Sephulchre of Barrowmaze to be mapped. Quest log updated. (50 exp)
- After hearing some rumours in town, the party head off on Grim Charlie's fast travel wagon. Nix suspects that the Chaos Sephulchre is below a particular sealed barrow, and so the party heave in with sledgehammers. (50 exp)
- Behind the great stone seal is a smaller bronze door with the symbol of Nergal embossed upon it. Beyond... a still black pool and mosaics depicting skulls, bones, and an army of skeletons fighting a dragon. (50 exp)
- Wading into the bath-warm water and inspecting the pool carefully with a 10' pole, a hole is found in the exact centre of the pool. It seems to go down a good way. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth tries to deface the mosaics but is prevented by Nix! Later, when Nix is distracted, he smashes them anyway and grabs some chunks. (50 exp)
- Nix scratches a Take-Light-Cold glyph into a rock and uses it to absorb the water from the room. Neat! Then she goes outside and chucks it at another barrow. When the connection breaks, all the water bursts out in a huge tsunami! (50 exp)
- The hole ends up leading down to a very similar room to the one above. POWERLAD and Zena get to work sucking up all that water too. A couple more rune tsunamis (runeamis?) later and the place is pretty well dry! (50 exp)
- Some stairs down are revealed, alternate entrance found! (50 exp)
- Slippery algae-covered stairs lead to the reverse side of a secret door! Past the door, a damp room with a sort of well in the middle. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth just jumps straight in. It's not too deep... but something's wrong... (50 exp)
- He emerges from the well covered in GIANT leeches. Like the size of a lapdog. They suck at his juicy flesh. (50 exp)
- Zena burns off a leech with a torch, it drops to the floor and begins leech-flopping around. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth rages! He slams into the floor, crushing the leeches between him and the stone. Nice! Unfortunately it hurts him too as the leech-corpses are driven into his body. Ouch. (50 exp)
- Carrie's bondage slave dudes wrestle one of the leeches off Insanity Mammoth as Carrie begins casting a spell. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD tries to stomp the leech on the ground but misses and it grapples onto him! But Nix casts a Make-Cold-Cold glyph and ice-punches the leech into fragments! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth has one leech left on him, and deals with it by slamming his body into a nearby door! He busts through into a room with two mummy-like corpses on stone slabs. (50 exp)
- He's on 0HP now and begins racking up the Pain tokens, while simultaneously running out of Rage. The maggot-infested corpses rise, and Insanity Mammoth recognises them as Sons of Kyuss - rot grub infested Dead that a band is named after. (50 exp)
- Insanity bodyslams a dead guy, weirdly humping him. Nix busts in, sees the troubling and sexually confusing scene, and decides to help with an ice punch. (50 exp)
- Zena lobs oil at one of the maggoty Dead, and when it tries to escape the oil patch she kicks it back in. POWERLAD lights up the oil and the maggots are crisped! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth tries to help but stumbles into the fire and screams as his legs are burnt! He falls to the ground, pretty much fucked. (50 exp)
- Nix ground-pounds with the frost punch, eliminating the fire and saving Insanity Mammoth! Nice! He's got 2nd degree burns and is in a lot of pain. Luckily Carrie is ready with a Cure Light Wounds that stabilises him. (50 exp)
- But the Sons of Kyuss are still up and about. Nix gets punched in the back, and feels grubs burrowing into her flesh! Oh shit! 30 minutes until they reach her heart! (50 exp)
- Luckily a few people have heard of these things before. Even more luckily, Carrie is a high level Cleric with access to Cure Disease which kills them! (50 exp)
-The Sons of Kyuss bring Insanity Mammoth to 0HP again and he begins to bleed heavily, but uses the gout of blood to propel his knee into the last one's belly! What a kill! (50 exp)
- The party recover, finding fuck all treasure unfortunately. Insanity Mammoth is re-healed and the maggots burrowing their way to Nix's heart are wiped out with Cure Disease. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- While they're patching themselves up, a couple of zombies wander into the room. POWERLAD is first into the breach, smashing one to pieces with a double hammer attack! (50 exp)
- Zena thrusts in with a polearm at the other... and its eyes glow red, its muscles bulk up, and a long tongue uncoils from its mouth. Some sort of super zombie! It grabs the haft of her weapon and laughs! (50 exp)
- ...but then Carrie's Turn Undead goes off and it runs away howling. Some super zombie he was. Zena javelins it with her polearm... and it's not dead yet. It keeps running with the halberd in it. (50 exp)
- Luckily Chiffon is here to sprint in and FINISH HIM! He rips the halberd out and the zombie falls over dead. (50 exp)
- A last little look around reveals a room that contains a runic tablet! Insanity Mammoth, as ever, rushes in. He gets zapped for his trouble, but gains the tablet! He reads it and gains a one-use auto-save against a future saving throw. (50 exp)
- Dirty and exhausted, the party climb back up out of the Barrowmaze and head back to Helix. A fairly unsuccessful delve, until some
 heavy out-of-game research into historical mosaic pricing reveals that the mosaic chunks are really very valuable! Score! (50 exp)
Total: 2050 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Insanity Mammoth - 100 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Insanity Mammoth - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Tom - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Kitty - 500 exp ea)

Rumours:
Those killed in the Barrowmaze soon become imbued with a terrible parody of life!
- The Nyctites of Necropolis, those weirdo artist Necromancers, bought a painting called for a record price at auction. It's called False Chantarelle and it's not even that good!
- The Chosen, a rebellious offshoot of the Ancients struck down long ago, are still buried somewhere in the Barrowmaze.
- Once, long ago, a great warrior and his retinue went into the Barrowmaze with a white orb of holy power to close the Pit of Souls once and for all. They never returned.
- That statue of Oberon in the forest is blatantly Herne the Hunter. The pitiable Nonanists believe he gives them greater skill in the hunt!
- There is a great Pit of Souls in the Barrowmaze, its magic is what causes the Dead to rise spontaneously across all Loegria! Destroy it and that will stop!

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 348sp. (Zena's Stake: 232sp, Carrie's Stake: 116sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 4000sp.

Out of Action:
- Gimlass. Broken Collarbone. Healed by: 2nd November 1660.
- Insanity Mammoth: Second Degree Burns on legs. Healed by: 17th October 1660
Death Toll and Injuries:
- Insanity Mammoth, second degree burns after falling into a fire.
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 48010 (Level up at 64000)- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 44270 (Level up at 72000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +improved saves! +1 level 3 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 39105 (Level up at 64000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumbles! +backstory!
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 24337 (Level up at 28000)- James / Chiffon, Level 4 Elf (Canny Childe): 13945 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +improved saves! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 4 Barbarian: 13905 (Level up at 16000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Levelup Table! +Rage duration! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:Nix's Retainer--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Thursday, 7 September 2017

Session 151 - Two's Company

Session 151 - Two's Company

Campaign Date:
Monday, 8 September, 1600
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Backstory:- Chiffon fell out with a friend forever because she dissed his scarf. (Once ever, it turns out that someone you don't know here is your estranged buddy. "Wait, JOHN?!" Up to you whether you've forgiven each other by now.)
Enemies Defeated:
- Just a ton of rats (100 exp)
- 4 yellow-clawed ghouls (200 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Silver Locket (300 exp)
- 1gp, 700sp (750 exp)
Total: 1050 exp

Exploration:- 6 dungeon rooms explored (120 exp)- 1 random encounter (50 exp)
Total: 170 exp

Events:
- It is a sad day. Only Fraser and I have shown up to D&D. Lots of people sent their apologies, and yet I never considered we'd be cut down to a mere two. (50 exp)
- We wait an hour or two before calling it as a washout. (50 exp)
- But soft! What light through yonder bar counter breaks? It is the session, and James Ratman is the second player! Arise, fair Ratman1 We'll have a D&D session yet! (50 exp)
- With two players and a scarce few hours left, we jump straight in. Nix and Chiffon. Chiffon and Nix! They're in Helix so they head to the town square and get the crier to drum up some meatshields! (50 exp)
- Answering the call - a Torchbearer unceremoniously renamed Pleb, and Huz the Man-at-Arms affectionately named Huzzy Bear. (50 exp)
- They pay some cash at the inn for the presidential suite to bump up their HP and set off! Grim Charlie's wagon has never clattered to the Barrowmoor so fast! (50 exp)
- They sprint towards the entrance to the Barrowmaze and power-slide down the grimy rope into the depths. Nix wants to map, so directs their next cautious steps. (50 exp)
- But first she needs to take a piss, and Chiffon takes the opportunity to bust down a random other door! Or rather, he commands pleb to do so. (50 exp)
- Behind, there are a fuckload of rats. Chiffon, appalled, boots Pleb into the room and shuts the door until the hammering stops. (50 exp)
- Nix comes back from the toilet and wonders where Pleb went. Awkward silence. (50 exp)
- The group continue in Nix's original direction, they reach the room that they saw a whole bunch of rats behind last session. (50 exp)
- Chiffon creates a Make-Heat-Light glyph and Nix readies a Repel-Heat-Light glyph. It's flamethrower time! Huz pulls the door back and "Team Chix" bathes the inside of the room in flame. (50 exp)
- Picking their way through the fried rat corpses, they go through the now-burnt grave goods and burning tapestries to find a silver locket that resisted the fire purge. Score! (50 exp)
- They explore more mappable terrain and in a classic case of not-entirely-satisfying classic dungeon trap, Nix misses the disguised lid of a pit in front of an arch. She falls 20', bumping her HP badly when she hits the bottom. (50 exp)
- It's a fairly simple matter of rope and holding back the pit trap lid to get her out. Great trap AAA++++ would fall again. (50 exp)
- The sacred phrase "we tap the floor ahead of us with a pole" is uttered. Now That's What I Call Old School Roleplaying 2017. Immune to pit traps for 24 hours. (50 exp)
- They enter a room with a room with a squat demonic statue in it. It's missing an arm. Clear Zelda-style find-the-arm sidequest, says Nix. They also hear whispering behind a door. (50 exp)
- Nix and Chiffon question the whisperers through the closed door. They identify themselves as Mongroids made up of many animal bits. They don't want to be seen. Chiffon asks if they have any valuable fur parts and they react with fear and disgust. (50 exp)
- The mongroids are left alone, however, and continue down some stairs... (50 exp)
- Except these stairs meet in a little four-way nexus of stairs before going back up. It's a meta-trap, meant to discourage those who don't want to head down into a second level of a dungeon. (50 exp)
- They go straight on and find themselves facing, what else, doors. They sledgehammer down one and see four pale emaciated men with long yellow-dripping claws. (50 exp)
- Nix pays her magic shield for AC and blocks the door with her shield. Two of them run at her while the other two disappear into shadow... (50 exp)
- Chiffon worries that the other two are going to head around and flank the party, so Nix chucks in a torch and reveals that they're simply crawling across the ceiling. (50 exp)
- The torch light also reveals that one has a lovely ghoul pelt. Avarice crosses Chiffon's features. (50 exp)
- Nix is getting pummelled over there and she's had enough. She gets MAXIMUM ANGERY and charges into the room to rip shit up! (50 exp)
- I discover something unanticipated - since Pain poison decreases dice rolls and AC, and Barbarians reverse penalties from Pain while raging... Nix just gets more and more powerful! (50 exp)
- 7 poison tokens in and Nix is an impregnable superfortress of barbarian muscle. She tears the ghouls to bits, incidentally ruining the perfect ghoul pelt as she does so. (50 exp)
- Chiffon flees and the hulked out Nix bursts out of the room, sees another door, kicks it down, and as the rage wears off she finally passes out from the poison. Maybe the bas relief of a setting sun on the opposite wall had a calming effect. (50 exp)
- Chiffon searches the ghoul room now that Nix has passed out. He finds some bowls full of cash and a runic tablet! He reads the tablet and... gains a phobia! What's with these things? (50 exp)
- The phobia is of hospitals. Well then. Out of all the actually-bad-for-dnd-characters phobias on this table, it looks like the players keep lucking out! (50 exp)
- Chiffon and Huz lug Nix's body back to the entrance and out. Success! (50 exp)
Total: 1550 exp

Misc:
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions 
bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)- Poison is OP bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spooky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
Total: 700 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer 
(James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster 
(James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- Guard (James / Chiffon - 100 exp)- Tracker (James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Fraser - 500 exp)

Rumours:
-
Had to go too fast for rumours!

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 348sp. (Zena's Stake: 232sp, Carrie's Stake: 116sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 4000sp.

Out of Action:
- Gimlass. Broken Collarbone. Healed by: 2nd November 1660.


Death Toll and Injuries:
- Pleb, kicked into a roomful of rats by Chiffon when nobody else was looking.


Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 39697 (Level up at 64000)
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- James / Chiffon, Level 2 Elf (Canny Childe): 5732 (Level up at 6000)
--- Pleb, Level 0 Torchbearer
*DECEASED*

Absent or Retired:- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 35457 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 30292 (Level up at 32000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 16124 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Friday, 1 September 2017

Retrospective 15 - The Rise, Fall and Rise of the Moondin Arc

The player's time in Moondin rounded itself off neatly enough that everyone just sort of naturally started calling it "the Moondin Arc".
I don't hesitate to say that I didn't plan it this way, the vagaries of emergent narrative just spat out a pearl of self-contained story arc.

We had the rise of Rake to stewardship, his death, and the political free-for-all that followed.
We had Blue Jon whose final mission to summon Baba Yaga ended with his witchy apotheosis.
We had the brief political career and retirement of the sometimes-annoyingly-law-abiding Raaf Van Held.
And we had Rake's daughter, who proved that sometimes someone with great promise will still just die a stupid death.


My favourite part of the Moondin Arc was the politicking system I made up, which I'll post some time soonish I'm sure.
The main fun part was grilling players with "media questions" and watching them squirm and attempt to pivot when they realised they actually knew fuck all about the political situation in Moondin.
Good times! Now they know how Sean Spicer felt!

They basically started the post-Rake Steward era by trying to cement his rule.
The Necromancer-General who had apparently died in the Arena Disaster, Castigate Pox, turned out to be alive but severely weakened. Rake wore his hollow armour, and wielded the black greataxe that housed Castigate's soul.
It was pretty badass. Together, it legitimised "Castirake" as the Steward of Moondin.

The enormous black dragon that POWERLAD had Phantasmal Force'd into existence in an attempt to stop the terrorist Andromeda was being worshipped as a god in a classic case of unintended consequences.
The solution, of course, was to get him to summon it again, and to have Rake kill it in a display of showmanship that many believed.
It worked! Sorta. Lots of dice-rolling on my end to see how believed it was after the fact.


After his rise to power, one of my favourite running jokes was the insistence, in every official decree, that "WEED IS NOW LEGAL!"
And in fact weed turned out to be a really effective wizard drug. Blue Jon the weed-smoking wizard (in the great pothead tradition of Gandalf) was immune to both spell interruption AND illusions which made him very effective.

Blue Jon's player, Henry, revealed during this time that he was going to be leaving to live in China. Oh no!
He wanted to do something good with his last weeks in the country, and so the Blue Jon fetch quest to fetch the artifacts of Baba Yaga (reskinned frog idol relics) was born.
I streamlined things juuuust a little behind the scenes to make it possible within his three week time frame, and luckily for everyone they managed to complete it!
Baba Yaga is back, fused with Blue Jon to create "Baba Jon" who may or may not own a pizza shop.
This is going to have massive repurcussions for my campaign world going forward.


Rake died in a lake during this fetch quest. He followed a Kelpie (as in the water horse from Scottish myth that drowns you) into a lake, despite warnings from one of the players (who is, in fact, Scottish) that following it into the lake would drown him.
It did.
The power vacuum that opened up meant that I had to upgrade the political subsystem a bit with schmoozing influence from interest groups. Unfortunately two of the players stood on similar platforms and essentially split the vote. Such is politics!


After they left Moondin behind, they ended up at the Barrowmaze for some traditional megadungeon breach-and-clear.
After all the high-concept stuff, some classic dungeonbashing as a palette cleanser is right up my alley!




Mini-Reviews:

The Temple of Lies
I didn't run this because one of the players ran it while I was away, but by all accounts it was really good!

Challenge of the Frog Idol
Just an amazing free adventure. The lynchpin of a whole segment of the campaign, it would have been in use longer if only I hadn't allowed a little corner-cutting for the soon-departed Henry's benefit.

Barrowmaze
A nice, flat megadungeon in the classic style. I've made a bunch of supplemental stuff for it, like a hex map of the mounds and a time tracker (since I added a fast-travel from Helix to the Barrowmoor). My biggest gripe - no bookmarks in the pdf?! What the fuck!?
I love undead enemies because they're the only type of enemy I'm comfortable with giving a consistent suite of powers (instead of the LotFP ideal of unique baddies every time).
I'll post about my changes and stuff at a later date.






Monday, 28 August 2017

Session 150 - Tall Tales of the Stone Men



Inline images 1
Tom shows us Spicy Mac's new billboard just outside of Helix


​- I doodle the second mission into the statue barrow

Inline images 1
- I also doodle the regenerating skeleton. It's been slow at work!

Inline images 1Inline images 2Inline images 3Inline images 6Inline images 4Inline images 5
- Charles doodles as he remembrances

Inline images 1
- And finally, Charles bones alone!

Session 150 - Tall Tales of the Stone Men

Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 2 September, 1600
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:- Spicy Mac, a charming and tight-fisted Halfling spice merchant

New Backstory:- Carrie Meleste was married once. It was during one wild night in Moondin's red light district, they were married by a guy dressed as a famous bard, it was a great night. While it was technically for love, that love was fleeting, and they annulled the marriage soon after. What a night! (+1 Wisdom)
Enemies Defeated:
- A sapphire-browed skeleton (50 exp)
- 8 skeletons, killed in their beds (80 exp)
Total: 130 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Sapphire shards of a skeleton gem (200 exp)
- Two silver bracelets, finely crafted and of ancient make (1000 exp)
- A silver locket of expert craftmanship (300 exp)
- Diamond-studded gold ring (4000 exp)
Total: 5500 exp

Exploration:- Explored 10 dungeon rooms (200 exp)- Unsealed a barrow (50 exp)
- Found 2 secret doors (100 exp)
- 2 Wandering Monsters encountered (100 exp)
Total: 450 exp

Events:
- We begin, as will become customary, in Helix. As the party trickle in they check out the local shops and buy a few knickknacks. New among them is Spicy Mac, a mercantile Halfling, who they agree to let join their crew. (50 exp)
- Nix is checking out the lust-faced Shield of Avarice she found last session. The push-in coin slot seems to only take silvers, so she loads it up with silver pieces and pushes it in. (50 exp)
- Looks like the shield becomes preternaturally good at blocking when loaded up with coins. Neat! Only lasts a few seconds though, you'll need to keep feeding it dat dolla if you want to keep it sweet... (50 exp)
- Carrie and Zena get a missive from their horrible Bone Alone business. Looks like business is booming! Who knew! Their investment gains +16% value to the delight of the investors and the dismay of all good god-fearing folk. (50 exp)
- "My name is Mastibate Pox, and this is my favourite store on the Moonditadel". Quite. (50 exp)
- Chiffon realises that the night of the Full Moon draws near and so his Elvish powers are on the wane, so he grabs the Death Leather armour and somehow pulls the look off. (50 exp)
- With that, the party head off on Grim Charlie's wagon to the Barrowmaze, seeing some zombies wandering around on the way. The other riders take potshots at them as the wagon rumbles past. (50 exp)
- When the wagon reaches the black obelisk near the entrance to the Barrowmaze, the party hop off. POWERLAD takes the opportunity to Read Magic on the obelisk. It speaks of the god Nergal (no relation), exalts his Chosen, and says "Life in Death" a bunch. (50 exp)
- The party has a quick discussion and splits in two. Half will go for the Barrowmaze itself, the others will explore the Barrows. (50 exp)
--- Team Mapquest
- POWERLAD, Mugg, Nix, and the cowardly Hargrim head down into the dungeon. It's time to map!!! They are deemed team Mapquest by those above.
- They head down into the antechamber and choose where to go next - south! They boot down a door and head into a room littered with various debris. So far so good. (50 exp)
- But... there's a noise from the corridor. A single skeleton with a blue jewel embedded in its brow looks round the corner. It seems lost, and they beckon it into the room. (50 exp)
- It was an act! It gets its sword out and attacks! Some quick hammering from Mugg puts it down, though its gem continues to glow with a pale light. (50 exp)
- They turn away and... the gem burns blue! The skeleton reforms around the gem, and POWERLAD is stabbed! (50 exp)
- They turn to fight this renewed skeleton. It's killed again, and they stuff its the clearly valuable sapphire into Mugg's bag of peat and start pulverising its bones. (50 exp)
- The powdered bones flow towards the bag, and Mugg feels it churning as the skeleton begins reforming within!
- Enough is enough, and POWERLAD shatters the gem with a hammer. He fucks up, and his hammer shatters, sending shards of sapphire into everyone around! (50 exp)
- The half-formed skeleton collapses, and they scoop up the valuable gem shards. (50 exp)
- The group continue on, through an empty room, and come across a brick wall. Considering the necessity for silence, the bag of peat is used to help demolish the wall quietly. (50 exp)
- A corridor with skull-adorned doors is found. The first contains a non-undead skeleton wearing a couple of valuable bracelets. The second... a skeleton sitting on a stone sofa scratching its pelvis?! (50 exp)
- Gimlass shows up conveniently. (50 exp)
- That skeleton just fucking dies as Nix punches it out. Unfortunately, the skeletons on the bunkbed-like funeral berths animate and start crawling to kill some people! (50 exp)
- The others rush in. Nix collapses the top bunk onto a bottom bunk, crushing one skeleton and stunning the other sleepy skeleton. POWERLAD gets clawed at by a skeleton. (50 exp)
- Gimlass tries to do a similar bunk destruction... and accidentally kills Hargrim who runs into the room in time to get bodied by her clumsy elbow. He dies ignomiously. (50 exp)
- Nix realises she's cut off. Time to fucking RAGE. (50 exp)
- Mugg smashes another bunk and crushes the skeleton below. Team effort! (50 exp)
- The Gimlass tries a piledriver on a skeleton pulling its way from an upper bunk and... fucks up massive. AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! The skeleton pile drives GIMLASS! (50 exp)
- Gimlass is fucked. Her collarbone - the ultimate bone for some reason - is broken. She's going to be fucked for a while. (50 exp)
- Mugg realises that staying near a raging Nix is bad news. She chucks her lantern into the skeletons at the entrance to stagger them, and uses the opportunity to drag Gimlass out of the room! (50 exp)
- Nix hulks out, smashing heads together, kicking skeletons back into fires, and all around wrecking shit. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD does an ULTIMATE PUNCH and wipes out three of the remaining skeletons... then realises Nix is MAXIMUM ANGERY and quietly closes the door. (50 exp)
- Outside the door, Gimlass is holding her hands over her multiple lesions while groaning and moaning. They all hear Nix smashing things and smashing her fists against the door. Soon, the smashing finishes. (50 exp)
- Nix emerges, but there's one last door... and this is team mapquest after all. They leave Gimlass gasping in the corridor and open the door... (50 exp)
- It's fuckloads of rats! Fuck that. (50 exp)
- Dragging Gimlass' moaning nearly-corpse behind them, they reach the surface. They recuperate, and hear some loud yelling in the distance... (50 exp)
--- Team Graverobber
- While Team Mapquest head into the Barrowmaze, team Graverobber cast about for something to loot. They head towards a barrow, but find it's been buried by time. (50 exp)
- Not dissuaded, they check out a nearby barrow with a not-buried sealed door. Sledgehammers and picks at the ready, they hammer into the door... (50 exp)
- An hour later, they're smashed it up a bunch. Great job. (50 exp)
- After a short break and another bunch of smashing... the door is destroyed! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- The group descend the spooky stairs... and find themselves in knee-deep bogwater. Except for Spicy Mac, he's chest height because he's tiny. Carrie Meleste's weird subs wade in too. (50 exp)
- Despite the height disadvantage, Spicy Mac goes around the room poking every single stone in every wall. There are a couple of hollow sounds - secret rooms! Good work! (50 exp)
- One of Carrie's subs breaks down one of the secret walls with a hefty leather godemiché. It collapses into a large oval room. Within is a statue of a hero with a weirdly lumpy sword facing down three stone Filled Men. (50 exp)
- Water flows into the oval room. As everyone discusses what to do, seeing as these statues are clearly going to become mould men when something is triggered. (50 exp)
- As everyone else discusses next steps, they don't notice as Zena wades past with a sledgehammer. (50 exp)
- There is a loud smash! The others look around in horror as they see what Zena has done! An arm of the statue falls to the ground... as the rest of the statue turns towards her. (50 exp)
- Yea they're living statues but not the busking kind. Their stone fists fuck Zena up with some heavy damage. (50 exp)
- Spicy Mac hurriedly rigs a tripwire near the door in the hopes it'll trip one up! Good luck! (50 exp)
- Everyone, Zena included, bails. They vault over the rope at Spicy Mac's warning, and the first statue through the breach falls over. Score! (50 exp)
- Zena hammers its head while its down... to little obvious effect. Spicy Mac dives into the other secret door and hides. Everybody else starts to withdraw to the stairs. (50 exp)
- Zena gets clobbered in the groin and goes down. Luckily Carrie is mid-cast on Heroism. She buffs one of her subservient minions, who holds the line while the others drag Zena from the scene. Amazingly, the minion survives the statues' attacks and escapes! (50 exp)
- Spicy Mac is still behind the secret door, stuck. Luckily someone rammed a coin into the gap in the door so he's not locked in. (50 exp)
- The little room he's in has a low altar and an ossuary. One of the fingerbones in the ossuary is wearing a sick gold ring with diamonds on it. Score! (50 exp)
- He looks around for bugs to Dominate with his Halfling mind control powers, finding a huge centipede. He grabs the coin out of the door, ties it onto the centipede with a sling, and now has some sort of wall-crawling coinipede. (50 exp)
- He makes it slither out the door, past the living statues, and make the coin tap against the inanimate sword-wielding hero statue. The bigger statues stomp off to investigate and Spicy Mac escapes! (50 exp)
- He finds the rest of group recuperating on the surface. Zena is somewhat the worse for wear, but feels better after a break and some food. Phew! (50 exp)
- The group start heading towards another mound, but see a bunch of zombies feasting on recently killed tomb robbers and decide that nooope, maybe they'll try to dig into the statue room from above! That sword looked like loot! (50 exp)
- Digging begins, and since they know the basic underground layout it only takes a couple of hours to dig down to the room from above. They emerge slightly off-course, so dig out a trench that ends above the sword statue. (50 exp)
- Spicy Mac gets lowered down on a rope, mission impossible style. He grabs the sword, tries to swap it with a club Indiana Jones-style and... the Filled Men statues animate! He... cuts the rope?! (50 exp)
- He splashes down into the knee-high water, which is chest-high on him. He dives under the water, scooping up the silver coin from earlier as he does so... (50 exp)
- He's not fast enough! They smash at him with stone fists and one of them pounds into his foot as he swims between them. It hurts but it's ok, and he manages to hobble out to the surface, sword and all! (50 exp)
- They head back to the obelisk and meet up with the dungeon-delve team who are assisting the broken-boned Gimlass into Grim Charlie's wagon. A successful run! (50 exp)
--- Back in Helix
- On the ride back, Spicy Mac regales everyone with his tale of escape and derring-do, naming them "There and Mac Again". Harr harr. (50 exp)
- Back in the town, as most of the party admins at the shops, Spicy Mac pawns off the diamond ring and invests the substantial earnings into his new spice business - Spicy Mac's Spices, and a nice big hand-painted billboard on the road into town. (50 exp)
Total: 3150 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spooky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Touch That bonus (50 exp)
Total: 950 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Spicy Mac - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Tom*2 - 200 exp)
- Hummus Hero bonus (Andy*2 - 200 exp)
- JÜGGMEISTER bonus (Kitty - 500 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Spicy Mac, Gimlass - 100 exp ea.)

Rumours:
Cremation is the only way to prevent the Dead from rising!
- The followers of the Low God Set can speak with serpents!
- The Mongreloids of the Barrowmaze fear the very sight of Man!
- The souls of those who die beneath the black sun are stolen away by demons, their bodies reborn into demonic servitude.

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 348sp. (Zena's Stake: 232sp, Carrie's Stake: 116sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 4000sp.


Death Toll and Injuries:
- Hargrim, accidentally murdered by Gimlass' flying foot.
- Gimlass, broken collarbone due to getting John Cena'd by a skeleton (Permanent -1 to all stats, cannot regain HP naturally until fracture heals, recovery time 6-8 weeks)


Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 37222 (Level up at 64000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 35457 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 30292 (Level up at 32000)
--- Hargrim, Level 0 Hireling*

DECEASED*
Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 16124 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +Saves Improve! +1 to Domination!
- James / Chiffon, Level 2 Elf (Canny Childe): 3257 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell!

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble rolls!

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
*DING!* +1d10 HP! +optional Lorebond!

Absent or Retired:- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)