Monday, 4 December 2017

Session 160 - The Way of the Dragons

So it looks like the plan is to defeat the apocalypse by setting it against a whole other apocalypse, then working out how to defeat that apocalypse once it's defeated the first one.
It's basically the Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly disaster management technique, except that the fly is the size of a mountain and breathes gravity.

Next time on the party's diplomatic tour of Loegria's most destructive forces, it looks like the next stop is Dwimmermount to see what the demons are up to. Should be a laugh!

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- Tom renders everyone's favourite early retiree, Spicy Mac.


Session 160 - The Way of the Dragons

Campaign Date:
Monday, 23 November, 1600
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Scorpio

New Backstory:
- The evil wizard who infiltrated Nix's family had concocted a dark and secretive experimental ritual. Nix shut it down, but ended up getting the blame! (Take half damage from traps other players set off)
- Coalminer Dan found the strange glowing meteorite in that cave and heard it speak inside his mind - "GIVE ME YOUR FLESH, HUMAN! I DEMAND IT!" (Once per session, cast a random spell)

Enemies Defeated:
- None defeated, but many friends made!
Total: 0 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Galaxy Johnson joined the Drakencult of Ereshkigal!
- Nix joined the Drakencult of Ereshkigal!
- POWERLAD joined the Drakencult of Ninhursag!
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- First party to visit the Head of Ninhursag (500 exp)
- About 40 miles of travel (140 exp)
- Randoms encountered (50 exp)
Total: 690 exp

Events:
- Leading off from last time, we zoom in to see one of the Banjo Fishwicks leading the party through the space time fuckery of the inside of the floating mountain. Spacial distortions, gravity flips, it's wild. Banjo's eyes sometimes become black gates into a starry black void when he blinks. (50 exp)

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- Soon they reach the temple chamber of the Dragon itself. It is stirring, but asleep. Around it are priests in black robes, all of them temporal clone couples of POWERLAD and Andromeda. (50 exp)

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- They are aghast and amazed at this anomalous POWERLAD in their midst, married not to Andromeda, but to some other chick! Bertha gets defensive. The group explain that "our" Andromeda died in a terrorist attack. (50 exp)
- They talk for a while about what the deal is with the dragon. They're trying to wake it in order to kill Shub-Niggurath through controlled gravitic demolition of the earth! (50 exp)
- The party is asked if they'd like to join the Drakencult of Ereshkigal. Galaxy Johnson is so down, and he manages to persuade Nix to join him. The rest of the party abstain, POWERLAD and Bertha intending to shop around a bit with the other dragons before committing. (50 exp)
- Kneeling before the great black dragon's head, Nix and Galaxy Johnson pledge their souls to Ereshkigal. Long may it reign! Their bond grants them more power over the Mass rune! (50 exp)

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- Asking what the plan is, High Priest POWERLAD informs the party that Ereshkigal shall awaken and advance on Fate to destroy the massive tentacle that lays beneath it. It will rise in two months! (50 exp)
- The party take their leave, passing through a decaying cavern containing the William Fox-Shitts who worship the aspect of Decay. On a wall, clinging like a gecko, is a decrepit and rheumy-eyed dragon with tattered wings. It is not fucked with. (50 exp)
- At the entrance, Insanity Mammoths are called to fly the party down to the ground on their constantly mid-explosion wings. One last thing - where are the other dragons? There's one in Moondin, of course, and another one which roams the Drudge Wastes with a huge goblin machine on its back. Or so they say. (50 exp)

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- One of the Insanity Mammoths mentions that no more duplicates are coming out of Dunnsmouth any more, and the party decide to go check it out. Having the Time Cube would be pretty great right now! (50 exp)
- They get dropped off to find that the area around Dunnsmouth is constantly resetting, basically like a big dome covered in a constant layer of fog. Galaxy Johnson reaches a hand into the dome and feels incredible pain! He snatches the hand back to find it covered in blisters. What the fuck is even going on in there? (50 exp)

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- Oh well. The group move off towards Moondin to check out the other Drakencult they know about. On the way they see the brainless corpse of a victim of demon deer attack, and later, another corpse with its throat cut. (50 exp)
- They run into a group of people fleeing on the outskirts of Moondin. They're clearly also adventurers. Nix squares off against a couple of Barbarians in a scowling competition, while Galaxy Johnson strikes up a conversation with their wizard. They agree to meet in Fate later. (50 exp)
- Apparently the green dragon's cult has taken over the town, remade it in the dragon's image, and is poisoning people. Great. The groups part ways, and the party discover that yep Moondin sure is fucked! (50 exp)
- There's a big moat of magma, great crystal trees, lots of vegetation reclaiming the town in proper apocalyptic style. POWERLAD activates his Fly spell, which presents as electrical super-jumps. Very Infamous. (50 exp)

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- He lands near a cultist guard in a green robe. On theme. POWERLAD persuades the cultist to take him to his leader with some smooth talking. Apparently everyone's already heard of POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party decides to head to the Necromancer HQ they remember hitting up last time they were in town. On the way there, a dude ushers them into his partially crystallised house. (50 exp)
- He's one of the resistance who's staying behind to underground railroad people out of the city. Ratimir is excited by the revolution. Fight the man! The dragon man! Apparently RISEN and the Necromancers have begrudgingly joined forced to resist the draconic incursion. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD has, by this point, been brought to the centre of town. A magma lake with crystal trees growing from it has an island in the middle with some sort of crystal building in the centre. A boat made of stone and even more crystal is paddled across the magma to take him in. (50 exp)
- Reaching the island, POWERLAD is greeted by a very big man called Magnus Grossman. He is a high priest of the Drakencult, and VERY BIG.
 (50 exp)

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- He explains that Ninhursag is all about rock and stone and poison. In fact, the plan is to create a super-poison capable of destroying all cellular life and thus poisoning the tentacles TO DEATH. (50 exp)
- It would be nice to find a poison that kills only the tentacles and leaves everything else alive, but unfortunately as the progenitor of all life on Earth it's hard to make something that only kills tentacles. If they can do it, they will though. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD thinks this sounds pretty legit and decides to join the Drakencult of Ninhursag. Magnus leads him to the great green head of the dragon, which emerges from lava. Around it are high ranking Drakencult of all the different aspects of the dragon. (50 exp)

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- POWERLAD prostrates himself before Ninhursag's great head and joins the Drakencult! His bond with Ninhursag gives him more power over the Earth rune! (50 exp)

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- Back in the town, the rest of party is talking to the rebel Necromancer. Apparently the Mould just vanished one day, the addicts emerged from the cathedral lost and confused, and Moldus Vane himself has retreated to a secret underground redoubt. (50 exp)
- He admits that he was one of those mould addicts, and misses the feeling of connectedness and completeness he felt at the time. Everyone hugs him, and for a brief moment he feels a shade of what he once had. (50 exp)
- Over at the head of Ninhursag, POWERLAD is talking to Sylvia Flora the aptly named priestess of the Aspect of Plants. She is mildly disappointed that he's married, and explains that their poison research is going fine but they need more poison research! (50 exp)
- During the after-credits scene, we see a flashback to the disappearance of the Mould inside the cathedral. We zoom into the pile of bodies as the Mould vanishes, in and in to see Zarat's eyes pop open. In unison, a chorus of voices say "AAHHHH! A RAT!" (50 exp)
Total: 1500 exp

Misc:
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Kitty*2 - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, James, Fraser - 500 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom in absentia - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Rumours:

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 65626 (Level up at 128000)
--- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54652 (Level up at 72000)--- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 14122 (Level up at 24000)
--- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2
- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 8882 (Level up at 12000)

Absent or Retired:
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 6731 (Level up at 9000)
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Tuesday, 28 November 2017

Session 159 - Dies Eye-Ray

Session 159 - Dies Eye-Ray

Campaign Date:
Monday, 23 November, 1600
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Scorpio

New Characters:
- Friar, a Magic-User who happened to be wandering around in the Barrowmaze and came to see what all the boss fight fuss was about.
- Clarence Eclair, a cartographer and scholar briefly Charmed by Seraph on the day of her martyrdom

New Backstory:
- Seraph fought in a small-scale Termaxian rebellion over on the continent after being radicalised. (+1 Str)
- Bertha's mother, dying of some charnel disease, told Bertha the secret that shattered her world... "There's no money left, you'll have to become a prostitute". (+1 Wis)
- Ratimir was in the midst of a bank robbery with a gaggle of fellow rats when he was wounded. He told his friends to go on without him... but they all got gunned down. Ratimir spent agonising hours slowly crawling through the bodies and hid in a fountain until the heat was off. (While fleeing, can grant your Flee die result to another)

Enemies Defeated:
- A Beholder (1500 exp)
- 4 ghouls (200 exp)
- 2 shambling shrubs (1000 exp)
- Seraph's executioner (10 exp)
- 90 so-called innocents (0 exp)
Total: 2710 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Your lives! And briefly a potion.
- The spell Tear the Veil Asunder
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled around 40 miles (140 exp)
- Explored 3 dungeon rooms (60 exp)
Total: 200 exp

Events:
- In the Barrowmaze, a deadly battle for survival against the mighty BEHOLDER stands on a knife edge. Sacrifices will have to be made if anyone is going to make it out alive... (50 exp)
- In Fortress-City Fate, amidst the billowing steam and groaning metal of a brass city undergoing some strange metamorphosis, Seraph asks passers-by if they've heard of a certain library containing a certain forbidden book of extreme heresy. (50 exp)
--- Team Barrowmaze

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- We zoom back into the fight that was left on a cliffhanger last time. An eye-of-many-eyes BEHOLDER chained above a swirling pit of souls, several yellow-clawed GHOULS striking in to attack the PARTY who cower by the double doors. (50 exp)
- Nix is compelled to attack her friends, aiming a supremely deadly punch right at Randy... but in that split second before caving in his face she stops. Randy's her friend! The Charm is broken! (50 exp)
- Unfortunately the ghouls don't have such compunctions about ripping Randy to shreds, and he's swiftly savaged by their poisonous claws. He barely survives. (50 exp)
- One of Ratimir's rats is scurrying around on the Beholder's head, disrupting one of its attacks, but it still blasts out with two other eye beams. A scintillating yellow ray hits poor Randy, who is immediately stunned. (50 exp)
- The other beams out and hits Galaxy Johnson with a sleep beam... but Elves don't sleep! Go go space alien! (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson parries many ghoul-blows, swinging under the guard of one and stabbing in with his pick. Nice! He gets hit a couple of times, but Elves are immune to ghoul poison for weird legacy reasons. It's good to be him! (50 exp)
- Friar, a Magic User, turns up at the back of the group and is immediately trusted by all. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson dives back to shut one half of the door. He nearly falls over Ratimir, who managed to fuck up a gambit and told his rats to "go for the eyes!" without telling them which eyes. He writhes on the ground, trying to get his rats to stop trying to blind him. (50 exp)
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- Just in time, Bertha cuts through with a powerful Subjugate Dead. She can see the spirits whirling from the portal... and by the way they swirl she can make out where everyone is! She can almost see again! (50 exp)
- All four of the ghouls freeze mid-attack... and turn around towards the Beholder. It doesn't have time to fight back as they fall upon it with their paralysing claws! (50 exp)
- It tries to fight back, stunning one and turning the other to stone, but is overcome by the stunning poison flowing through its veins. It drops down into the pit and into the maelstrom, bouncing on the chains. (50 exp)

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- Bertha uses her soul-sight to enter the room and investigate the Pit of Souls. She sees the statue of Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus in full armour, throttling a tentacle. She also sees the the pit is surrounded by magical writings... it's a spell! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD shows up finally and is horrified to see that Bertha has been blinded... and by one of his own crossbows no less! (50 exp)
- A couple of large motile shrub monsters begin crawling out of the pit. Nix and Bertha's ghoulfriends run in to attack as they crest the edge of the pit. (50 exp)
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- Friar blasts one of the crawling shrubs with Faerie Fire, outlining it in vivid violet and making it easier to hit. (50 exp)
- Together with Friar, Bertha and POWERLAD begin tearing pages out of one of Bertha's books and take rubbings of the carven spell. (50 exp)
- One of the ghouls kicks a shrub into a pit. Hardcore. (50 exp)
- Ratimir sends his rat swarms into glorious battle, and the other shrub squishes one. Just one. (50 exp)
- The rubbing is complete! Everyone disengages, Bertha led by POWERLAD. They flee for the exit... and they make it! To my very great surprise, the blatant TPK-to-be has ended with no deaths! (50 exp)
--- Team Seraph
- Seraph wanders the streets of Fate, halo radiant, asking if anybody's heard of the Library of Jumurak, (50 exp)
- Nobody really has, but she is approached by a skeezy looking guy who asks her if she's interested in a plan for a "change of management" in Fate. If she is, head to Wizzbang Will's and ask for Slim. (50 exp)
- She declines for now and heads to the grand Library of Fate to hunt for information. She's already bought citizenship, so flashes her ID card to access the library. (50 exp)

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- She heads to the history of Fortress-City Fate section and begins looking stuff up, discovering that the Battlefortress is human-pilotable, and can be piloted by a single person at that! (50 exp)

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- Satisfied for now, she decides to hit up Wizzbang Will's place and investigate. On her way out, she Charms a scholar to research Fortress-City Fate for her, but then tells him what she's done for a weird "I've dominated your psyche but we can still be friends right?" vibe. (50 exp)
- She heads for Wizzbang WIll's on the transport links, arriving to find a garishly coloured drug shop/drug den with a bored guy tending the shop. She asks for "Slim", and is blindfolded and led through a few doors until she gets to Jimmy's office. (50 exp)

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- It's Slim Jimmy! But he's like 85, real real old. And of course, Seraph doesn't know him herself. He explains that there's a plot to depose the Fated Queen, expose her as an Elf, and blame her for all the apocalyptic shenanigans. (50 exp)
- As he speaks, there is a faint yell from outside, and later a door banging. He perks up at the noises, looking oddly at Seraph as he does so, but these are ignored. (50 exp)
- Seraph agrees to be the figurehead of the rebellion, preaching Termaxianism, and says she will need to understand what's going on with the city is she is to help take it over. (50 exp)
- Slim Jimmy nods and says "alright then", and suddenly armed guards burst into the room! "Get down on the ground!" (50 exp)
- "I apologise. You must understand that the security of the city is paramount in these uncertain times" says Jimmy as he presses a button and his chair falls backwards into an escape hatch in the wall. (50 exp)
- The guards tell Seraph she's under arrest for sedition, and Seraph complies. She is cuffed and frogmarched through the streets. She blesses beggars as she goes along, an innocent angel arrested by brutal guards. (50 exp)
- As the cathedral looms in the distance, Seraph tries one last thing - popping the last two of those weird mushrooms that originally turned her into an Elf! One turns her hair bright yellow, the other makes her trip balls! (50 exp)
- She fades out into a riot of noise and synesthesia. She hears a thousand voices murmering, hears those voices cheering and shouting, feels rough hands sit her down. There is a moment when someone says "are you alright?" (50 exp)
- There is a loud imperious voice. A cavernous voice. A hundred cries of shock and anger and elation. There is a basket, and she sees the weave at the bottom of it. She's lying on a bed looking into a basket woven of basket of woven of weave. (50 exp)
- There is a sharp steel sound. She is suddenly standing, looking at herself, as the blade of a guillotine descends treacle-slowly towards her neck, She has cast Comes the Godhead, and her yellow hair writhes through the air like a nest of serpents. (50 exp)

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- The blade touches the back of her neck and she is eclipsed by a burning white orb of holy fire. The flash of bright energy evaporates everything for 50' around, annihalating the guillotine, the platform, the executioner, the priests, and nearly a hundred people in a wide circle. (50 exp)
- The Fated Queen, from the balcony of the Church of Nine Corners, looks on in horror as Seraph ascends to Martyrdom. (50 exp)
--- Team Barrowmaze
- Back in Helix, the party settle down for a well-earned rest. Bertha checks out the rubbings, discovering that the spell is called Tear the Veil Asunder and requires at least a hundred Necromancers, a full lunar cycle, and the deaths of a hundred of the Necromancers involved in the ritual. It tears a hole into Death, which is presumably what keeps the tentacles down when you use the spell. (50 exp)
- Bertha and POWERLAD head to the wizard's tower to ask that weirdo wizard about cures for blindness. (50 exp)
- He only knows that Clerics have spells for restoring blindness, and also has a bunch of randomised potions that he forgot to label and will sell on the cheap. (50 exp)
- Ratimir buys a potion, chugs it down without reading the label, and becomes temporarily powerful! He draws a ton more rats towards him before the potion wears off, creating a large rat army! (50 exp)- Bertha tries to persuade the wizard to teach her the spell that made him immortal, but he refuses rudely. Too many immortal wizards around, donchaknow. (50 exp)
- Mildly annoyed, the party debate what to do next. A whirling flock of crows flies overhead, screeching "Resist the final dogma!" and similar. The party flag him down to ask him what's going on. (50 exp)

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- "Cyrus has initiated the Final Dogma!" he caws, "It's the order to kill all mankind and raise them as Dead for the final battle for all creation!" (50 exp)
- Seeing as that's fucked up, Cardinal Scream has gone rogue. He's got no real plan other than to save as many lives as possible, damn the consequences. (50 exp)
- He flies off again, and after a vote to see what they should do next, the party decide it's time to hit up the Gravity Dragon and see if they can help wake it up to defeat the tentacles. (50 exp)
- On their way, they see distant Dead marching to murder mankind, and a patch of ground where worms writhe out of the very earth. (50 exp)
- They reach the floating mountain of the gravity dragon. Winged figures swoop around the heights, waterfalls flow upwards, and a whole lot of floating boulders form a climbable spiral all the way up to the mountain itself . (50 exp)

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- The climb ends at a natural dungeon entrance on the underside of the floating mountain - a cave of shiny and reflective mirrored black rock. The reflections that reflect and reflect and reflect from the surfaces seem to move after, and before, you do. (50 exp)
- Also weird, gravity shifts 90 degrees as you climb up into the entrance. You can look straight ahead and be staring directly down towards the ground. (50 exp)
- The party start moving towards some muffled voices, and gravity suddenly inverts! POWERLAD casts Featherfall quickly, and the party land safely and softly on the ceiling. Spooked, they continue. (50 exp)
- Reaching the source of the voices, POWERLAD recognises who it is... Banjo Fishwick! More specifically, like ten Banjo Fishwicks all hanging out together! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD speaks to them, and they ask where his wife is. "Right here, actually" he says, pointing to Bertha. The Banjo Fishwicks are shocked, he's an anomalous POWERLAD! (50 exp)
- One of them excitedly agrees to guide the party to the head of the gravity dragon. An anomalous POWERLAD! What a cool surprise! (50 exp)
Total: 2500 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Poison is OP bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOOoOOOoOooky bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1350 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Fraser*2 - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Fraser, Tom - 500 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Meme bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- An Hero bonus (Tom - 200 exp)
- Awesome Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
Rumours:
The Witch Queen has taken over an old tower that the sea once claimed, at low tide you can just see the tops of the spires.
- The Dead cannot see through the sheer life energy of a tree! Hide behind one and they cannot find you.

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Seraph was executed for crimes against the state, destroying everything around her with holy fire as her final act.

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 64252 (Level up at 128000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup Table! +backstory!
--- Randy, Level 1 Hench-Dwarf: 1297 (Level up at 2200)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 12649 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +Saves! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 6934 (Level up at 12000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 6731 (Level up at 9000)
- Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Elf (Living Saint): 3973 (Level up at 6000)
*EXECUTED*- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 2 Specialist: 2940 (Level up at 3000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
Absent or Retired:
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 53279 (Level up at 72000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Monday, 20 November 2017

Session 158 - The Beginning of the End

Dark days ahead for the world, and for the Barrowmaze party.
Will they survive? And even if they do, will they survive the end of days?

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- The Word of Seraph Dawnstride continues

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- I have been baptised!

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- Galaxy Johnson's wrist-mounted energy cannon designs



Session 158 - The Beginning of the End

Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 18 November, 1600
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Libra

New Backstory:
- Bertha married POWERLAD! for money at first, but over time she's come to love him dearly. (+1 Intelligence)
- Ratimir was sent to Room 101... as the rat that got put in that face cage. He feels great remorse for doing the work at the behest of the ruling human overclass... even though he went back to his torturous work night after night. (+1 to repeat a successful action)
- Before Coalminer Dan found Galaxy Johnson's soul gem, it was found by a group of grubby goblins. He chose not to possess them because they were below his station, but they truly adored their strange glowing god. (Henchmen standing next to you are immune to morale)

Enemies Defeated:
- A bunch of mongreloids (40 exp)
- Some giant flies (100 exp)
- Some giant spiders (200 exp)
Total: 340 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Poison fang
- Potion #197
- Potion #248
- Ring with catseye gem (1100 exp)
Total: 1100 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 10 dungeon rooms (200 exp)
- Secret door found (50 exp)
- First party to find the Pit of Souls (1000 exp)
- 4 wandering monsters rolled (200 exp)
- First party to pass through Rote (500 exp)
- First party to enter Fortress-City Fate in half a century (1000 exp)
- Travelled like 100 miles (850 exp)
Total: 3800 exp

Events:
- The party awaken in the forest glade, statue quiescent. The ground trembles. As they stumble back to Helix, blinding white light burns briefly through the leaves overhead. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson and Seraph feel their Elven powers waxing to maximum - this is the time of the New Moon. Galaxy Johnson's skin dulls to an ashen grey, and Seraph's head is set with a glowing halo of light. (50 exp)
- The party emerge from the woods to find everyone in Helix standing around gawping at the sky. Seraph takes the opportunity for some good old fashioned "THE END IS NIGH!". (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson uses his enhanced climbing powers to spookily crawl his way up the church spire to get a better look at the goings-on. (50 exp)
- It's looking crazy out there. Objects are falling from the heavens, the earth shakes, wiggling lines emerge, and a violent spear of light beams down towards something over the horizon creating shimmering aurorae. (50 exp)

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- Seraph is gripped with the need to warn the Fated Queen about what has happened, steals a horse, and rides out. Onwards! (50 exp)
- The rest decide that following the map to the danger zone will lead to the Ossuary of All Bones and thus control of all Dead in Loegria. The team set off to the Barrowmaze once again. (50 exp)
--- Team Seraph
- Seraph heads out alone under the falling sky. The ferryman to Treehole comments that the water level of the river seems to be getting lower. In every town she passes, people are out of their houses staring. Those who see her are amazed and fall down, praising. (50 exp)
- The road is long, but Seraph keeps going. Passing through Fisket and heading off down the coast at a steady pace. As she passes through Rote, she checks out outgoing vessels in the port. Several seem interesting, but she continues along the road. (50 exp)

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- As she gets closer to Fate she sees it has a roiling cloud of steam rising above it. Spikes of light keep beaming down in the distance. She reaches the outside tramline station of Dead End and takes the fancy Fate transport links all the way to the Sciotherico. (50 exp)
- Seeing the several long queues into the audience chamber, Seraph tries something fancy - she snorts a line of fairy dust and rises above the crowd. With her golden halo and her beatific smile, the crowd are amazed and part for her! (50 exp)

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- The crowds have bowed down, and the guards ask her what she needs with worshipful eyes. She says she has been sent from heaven to speak with the Fated Queen, and does not mention that she took the tube here. (50 exp)
- She is led to the Queen's audience chamber, past the rows of bank teller-style boxes and the Actuarial Halls. It is guarded by stern men with brass helmets and steel spears. In awe, they let her pass. (50 exp)
- The Fated Queen sits upon her throne. It is, of course, Jade. Seated to her sides and behind her are her advisors - a skull on a pillar to her right, an androgynous high-collared bald figure on her left, and a man in shadow with black cloth around his eyes elevated behind. (50 exp)
- "Well, this is new" starts Jade, who fairly quickly surmises that Seraph must be an Elf like her, probably also a Wastrel, and demonstrates her own face-shifting ability. (50 exp)
- The skull on the pillar chatters quiet advice. It's Guido, of course! If only we could tell him that we're happy he made it out of Mt Death Frost, but alas, that was a former age. (50 exp)
- Seraph informs the Queen that the Mould is defeated as the result of a wish, but that same wish resulted in Shub-Niggurath beginning to rise. We now need every single person to help fight the abomination! (50 exp)
- An increasingly confused and angry Fated Queen thanks Seraph for the information, but reveals that she herself might be in over her head. Ancient failsafes are triggering, nobody knows what's going on, and it seems that the city itself is reconfiguring into "Battlefortress Fate" whatever that is. (50 exp)
- She dismisses Seraph to give herself time to think, but Seraph racks up another line of fairy dust. She zips in to nab Guido, discovers that his head is attached to a long spin going into the pillar, and then just flies away out the window giving everyone the finger. (50 exp)

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- The crowds see the angel ascend from a shattered window of the Sciotherico, surrounded with glittering glass, and fly out and away. A great portent indeed! (50 exp)
--- Team Bertha
- Bertha, Nix, Randy, Ratimir and Galaxy Johnson jump off Grim Charlie's wagon and rush towards the Barrowmaze. It's speedrun time! (50 exp)

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- They reach the snake-of-snakes room. Ratimir and Galaxy Johnson crawl across the ceiling to distract it while everyone else sprints through. Keep going! (50 exp)
- Some chanting from the temple room draws attention. Inside, some robed figures. Nix puts on her long-kept egg necklace and... hears their tentacle speech! They praise the tentacle! (50 exp)
- Whatever. They shut the door and run on at a rapid pace! In the rock monster room some muffled shushing is heard, and as the party run out the other side there is an audible sigh of relief. (50 exp)
- Some of those mixed-species mongrel people are in the way. Galaxy points his wrist cannon and demands to know where the Ossuary of All Bones is, but they flee screaming. (50 exp)
- The secret door aka the furthest point yet seen is reached. Inside, there is a strange buzzing sound... (50 exp)
- It's undead flies! Like, big ones. Obviously. Otherwise it would be silly. Nix takes one down handily, while Galaxy Johnson uses his new shadow-shifting-near-walls ability to evade attack. Bertha sucks down a Last Breath and breathes - "OBEY!" (50 exp)

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- All three remaining giant flies are hers to command! Ratimir summons his rodent comrades and they speak much of communism, and that the next room contains spiders! (50 exp)

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- Opening the door, there do seem to be a lot of dead flies on the floor. The map is consulted. It seems that whoever drew the map screwed up somewhere along the line... (50 exp)
- Fuck it. The flies charge in to kill one spider in a real role reversal, while Ratimir's rats swarm another with cries of "сука блядь!!!!" (50 exp)
- The spiders are pretty well owned. Good work. Galaxy Johnson seizes a venomous fang. Nice! (50 exp)
- A secret door is discovered and a lone skeleton is smashed before it can so much as mime "don't shoot!". I feel kinda sorry for him, he must have been waiting behind that door for ages. (50 exp)
- Also behind the door... a fountain! It says "Pay Your Dues". Nix flips some coins in and it totally works! Potions float to the surface. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson tosses a baggie of Otherpot in, but a hand grabs it and throws it back while an ominous voice says "this is mysteriously light for an ounce of weed!" (50 exp)
- Bertha cuts herself and drips blood into the fountain. The water-spirits within speak, and raise coins to the surface with their watery hands. Nobody takes their bait of entering the water to get the goooold. (50 exp)
- Consulting the map again, something's gone wrong. It takes a bit of backtracking to get back on the right path, but they do it! There's a portcullis in the way, but Nix lifts it easily with the help of Randy's size beam. (50 exp)
- A bunch of reliefs of different times the Dead sealed a tentacle are all the way along one wall. The next room, beyond another portcullis, has a bunch of holes in the ground... (50 exp)
- Bertha votes for ignoring them, but Ratimir has other ideas. He sends a rat down one of the holes... and it sets off some paralyzing darts! Nix and Galaxy go down for ten minutes. Oops. (50 exp)

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- Ratimir sends rats down all the others, finding a few bits and pieces and a cat's eye gem worth a fair amount of money! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- It's the home stretch. With glee, Bertha leads the way towards the big double doors marked Danger on the map. Nice! There is a roaring rushing sound behind the door. (50 exp)
- It opens into a large room, a pit with purple-black energy swirling in it in the centre, and a big statue of a vampire in roman bronze at the back of the room. (50 exp)
- More importantly, there's strange creature chained so that it floats over the pit. A big eyeball with many other eyeballs on stalks around it's head. Finally a proper D&D monster - the Beholder! (50 exp)
- Nix puts on her tentacle egg necklace and hears nothing but screams. Randy goes for the Size beam again and increases her beefiness! (50 exp)
- She tries to speak to the Beholder, but it only cackles madly in several different voices. There is a great stench as three yellow fluid-dripping creatures crawl out of the pit as its eyes roll crazily. (50 exp)
- Its central eye goes black, and Nix finds herself shrinking. It's an anti-magic field! (50 exp)
- The ghouls rush Galaxy Johnson and Randy, and the Beholder shuts off the anti-magic field for long enough to zap Nix with an eye ray! She fails the save... and is charmed into wanting to protect the Beholder. (50 exp)
- Ratimir gambits, flinging a rat towards the beholder's head where it begins chewing through one of the beholder's eye stalks! (50 exp)
- Bertha takes aim with her crossbow and gambits, trying to blind the beholder's central eye... but she gets a double miss. The bolt goes wide and the crossbow string snaps back into her eyes. Bertha is blind! (50 exp)
- The party is left on a cliffhanger. Nix charmed, Bertha blind, and a bunch of stinky ghoul things in prime position to paralyze... things are looking dire. (50 exp) 
Total: 2500 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Master of Disguise bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- SpOOoOOoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Seraph - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Fraser - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)

Rumours:
- There are goblins among the Dead, friend. They can't be turned into skeletons or zombies or nothin' so the Dead just ignore 'em.
- It is the time of revelations! The earth is being torn asunder, angels fall from the sky to judge Man! Pray to the Nine, only they can save us!
- The merchant vessels from Rote go to new and strange lands, from the Northern Wastes to the Lost World of Darkest Africa!
- Mt Deathfrost has never been successfully invaded. Everyone who has gone there has died.
- Bring dogs with you whenever you must go into the deeper deadlands. The Dead detest dogs, and will always kill them first.

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. (Liquidated)
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Bertha, blinded by a crossbow gambit gone bad

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 62312 (Level up at 64000)
--- Randy, Level 1 Hench-Dwarf: 777 (Level up at 2200)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 3 Elf (Alpdrucke): 11309 (Level up at 12000)
- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 6934 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Max rats: 16! +backstory!
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 4891 (Level up at 9000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Elf (Living Saint): 3973 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
Absent or Retired:
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 53279 (Level up at 72000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)