Monday, 19 June 2017

Session 141 - The Temple of Lies

With the DM gone, a hero rises!Henry! Running for the first time! It brings a tear to my eye.

I wasn't there of course, so I'll leave this to the witnesses -
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The Temple of Lies


-Fledgling Steward’s Cabinet stamps down PERSONALLY on obscene snake cult-

The Steward of Moondin, Rake Hacker, and his cabinet conducted a morning raid on the Temple of Lies this morning. Just hours after his promotion to stewardship and subsequent public holiday, the hero of Moondin and fellow cabinet members Zena, Raaf Van Held, POWERLAD, Nix Neckbiter and Carrie Moleste assaulted the cult’s headquarters, which had been disguised as an alterket den in the slums.

 Local residents reported commotion around 10:30 am LST, as a bouncer posing as city guard and a vagrant were detained. Further arrests are believed to have been made inside.“I’m pleased to say that the Temple of Lies has fibbed its last this morning,” Rake Hacker said. “This was a top secret strike operation that required intervention from the very top.

 “This city’s on a one-way ticket to JUSTICE.”

 The scene and its environs remain on lockdown following the incident. Guardsmen present at the scene reminded the Moondin Trumpet that any buildings used for illegal means can be seized by the City.


Fredegar Tokeby, Political correspondent- The Steward’s lightning-fast action on the Snake Cult has been met with seemingly universal praise, but in the offices of the City Guard, the atmosphere is not so jubilant. The Steward’s mission ventured into an area that the City Guard had previously refused to police at all, and the posing of a cultist bouncer as a City Guard has also raised concerns about the Guard’s internal security and the identity of its officers.

 At the centre of the storm assailing the City Guard barracks today is Raaf Van Held. Swept from a lowly position to Captaincy within a matter of hours following Rake’s rapid rise to power last week, Van Held’s appointment was, in itself, sound. The City Guard is severely under strength following the Arena attack, and familial connections with Hacker make for a secure alliance. Yet Raaf’s actions during the incident - assaulting a  lingering at the back of the incident, have been claimed by some to be symptomatic of the cancer that grows within the City Guard.

 Van Held himself was unavailable to comment as he was “quite unwell”, Rake Hacker has confirmed.

 “Raaf is a cousin of mine and I know he is as passionate about the city as any guardsman. But the structure of the Guard requires a lot of work. It's no surprise to anyone that Moondin’s City Guard needs a considerable overhaul. Our long-term strategy will see the guard modernised into two separate forces: a militia led by an elected sargeant, and a mobile fighting-force that can administer justice as effectively as we did today.”

ALSO in today's issue:
- Spore to love? Dating a mould person
- Arena Grande: Your guide to music and carousing events in Moondin Arena, the city’s newest hipster haunt
- How to tell if there are elves secretly living in your home and dancing whilst you sleep


Session 141 - The Temple of Lies
Campaign Date:
Saturday, 21 June, 1660
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Gemini

Enemies Defeated:
- 1 beggar knocked out (25 xp)
- 1 guard drowned in shit (50 xp)
- 1 junkie (25 xp)
- 5 clerks (250xp)
- 3 guards not drowned in shit (150 xp)
- 4 nuns (100 xp)
- 1 snake demon (50xp)
- 1 big snake (50xp)
- 1 snake priest (50xp)
Total: 750 xp

Treasure and Equipment:
514 sp
2 hammers (5 sp)
2 silk and bronze armour (counts as mail) (200sp)
4 sets silver chains (180sp)
2 bottles wine (10sp)
1 heirloom ring (50sp)
Alterket (250sp)
4 Venom vials – can be used to add D8 poison dmg
Dyed green rope (?)
Copper snake collar (?)
Silver tea set (25sp)
Goldenserpent dagger (500sp)
Pair of sofas (didn’t eat anyone) (75 sp)
Gold medallion
Magic bone flute (5sp)
Total:1814 sp

- First party to clear the Temple of Lies (200xp)
Total: 200 exp

- Party are enjoying a communal breakfast, when a tiny Blue John rushes in and demands they follow (50x)
- Party rushes after him leading them to an alleyway in a bad part of town (50xp)
- Rake asks a nearby guard about the kidnapping, to no avail (50 xp)
- Zena gives silver to some beggars, one nearly helps but is silenced by another (50xp)
- Frustrated Raaf threatens the silencing beggar with a knife to the throat. (50xp)
 - The beggar flings a knife at Raaf but misses, the guard uses the distraction to hit Rake, but the blow bounces off his mighty armour (50 xp)
- Raaf attempts to restrain the beggar, but instead falls over knocking Carrie down with him (50xp)
-Carrie picks up Raaf by the scruff of the neck and tells him off (50xp)
- Someone restrains the beggar, and Rake restrains the guard and apologises for the party actions (50 xp)
- Pointless questions and pointless lies (50 xp)
(PC: What’s through that door
NPC: what door?
Player: There’s a door there right?
DM: yup
PC: Ok, whats through that door
NPC: what door?)
-Guard tries to use their lack of suspicion to sneak attack, but is knocked out and his key taken. Rake carries him inside temple (50xp)
- Party tries investigating the conscious beggars, one holds out his begging bowl. Rake misunderstands the gesture and steals 3 sp (50 xp)
-Local populace are mad at these intruders and someone empties a chamber pot on Rake (50 xp)
- Party rushes inside. Rake: “I hope this mould spreads here” (50 xp)
- Inside Ket den Rake and Raaf have an embarrassing family wrestle over whether to steal a cheap candelabra (50xp)
- Cloaks and shoes are inspected. Some loose change, and far more clothing than the size of the building justifies hmmm (50 xp)
- Next room is full of sleeping junkies, Rake interrogates one and is attacked. Rake Knocks him out, and takes an heirloom signet ring (50xp)
-Toilet is briefly investigated, but no one needs to go. (50xp)
- Moving on find 5 clerks counting takings under a guards watchful eyes. More pointless questions and lies (50xp)
- Rake slaps guard, then cleaves through 3 clerks and the guard, Raaf pistol butt cleaves through other 2 clerks (50 xp)
- Find 500 sp and 5 doses of AlterKet. Sweet loot! (50xp)
- Store room is looted for wine, apples and silver tea service (50xp)
- VIP room: Party rescue a slave chain to a wall, and chain a passed out aristocrat to the wall instead. Then try and wake him, turns out he’s dead. Strip him and give clothes to slave. (50 xp)
- Some party interrogate slave , more pointless questions and lie. Other shift sofas to entry way (50xp)
- Party goes back to toilet. A junkie stumbles in after them and tries to use a glory hole. Bad move, he gets a free dick piercing, which he can’t feel (for now) (50xp).
- After some experimentation spot a ledge down the toilet shaft (50xp)
- Rake uses a rope to lower himself to the ledge, but has no light “I can’t see shit” . While climbing down he nearly drops the guard into the cess pit, then decides to just do it. Poor guard!(50 xp)
- Runes are cast and climbing gear found. It makes a bridge to the den. Party except Raaf follows, Raaf stays with slave (50 xp)
- Next room has a huge crystal archway, that makes a dong when touched. (50 xp)
- Powerlad flies up for a closer look and spots two hammers suspended by thread connected to the next door (50xp)
- He disarms the trap (50xp)
- Raaf is asking some pretty searching questions to the slave. Gets lies and tears in response (50 xp)
- Another store room, containing a barely concealed sarcophagus. Rake opens it up to reveal a terrifying snake-woman-demon (50xp)
- Rake stabs it, then Powerlad flies in and magic missile punches it back to hell. The corpse is skinned (leather armour but with a cool snakeskin pattern) (50xp)
- Slave uses “look over there” to try and sneak attack Raaf. Misses, and pretends it was an accident. Raaf goes along with it. (50xp)
- Party wonders in a dormitory filled with Nuns with poison whips. The lashes bounce of Rakes armour though, and he cleaves through them without many problems (50xp)
- Party take their (very flimsy) “armour” (+1 vs magic, counts as unarmoured), Carrie likes the poison whips and takes one ( 50xp)
- Raaf starts asking the slave about religion. More pointless lies and tears. (50xp)
- Party pushes on and finds a room FULL of writhing snacks surrounding a platform with a treasure cage (50xp)
- Powerlad flies over to the cage, but its locked! Gets thrown a piece of jerky to use as lockpick. (I would never allow this but SOMEONE gave precedent ಠ_ಠ )(50xp)
- Rake grabs a snake for some reason… Gets bit and nearly dies (50xp)
- Powerlad steals the temple treasures and flies back. Touching down the spell wears off (50xp)
- Raaf askes more questions, gets more tears and lies (50xp)
- Pushing on they stumble into two temple guards who unleashes a mighty volley of broken pottery at Nix, Rake and Carrie. (50xp)
- Powerlad throws the hammers form the trap at one smashes his skull in. Nix makes short work of the other (50xp).
- Finally they find everyone’s best friend, the most handsome and wise Wizard Blue John. He’s being constricted by a huge snake (50xp)
- Rake gambits on a headshot and fails spectacularly. Gets paralysed for his trouble (50xp)
- Carrie makes desperate lunge for Blue John and fall over (50 xp)
- Powerlad swoops in for a dragon punch and the snake flees to the bottom of a pool, releasing Blue John (everyone is very relieved) (50xp)
- Blue john stops sputtering long enough to point them to the high priest. Boss fight! (50 xp)
- The priest sees our adventurers and starts casting. Rake gambits throwing a 2 hand ace and succeeds! It stick out the proest and chaos in unleased.
- Spell has maximised effects! Priest is now protected from evil.
- but not from axes and crossbows. A flung axe from Nix, and a crossbow bolt from Powerlad finish him off.
- Blue john rescued, boss defeated, map explored module over right? No. (50xp)
- Rake finds a flute and wants to play it immediately. It sounds awful, a slithering is heard from the corridor.
- Powerlad also tries to play it, and also sounds terrible. He is then grappled by a very enraged snake! (50xp)
- Rake tries playing the flute again. He can’t play the flute. The enraged snake fractures Powerlads bones.
- Powerlad uses his muscle wizard strength to escape the wrestle, and the snake runs again. Phew! (50xp)
-Carrie heals Powerlads wounds and the party leave (50 xp)
Total: 2800 xp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Breakfast bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp))
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp))
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Riddlemaster bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Social Justice Warrior bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Trap disarmer bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guy bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Raaf - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / Powerlad - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles*2, Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles*2 - 100 exp)
- Snack bringer – Kitty, Charles, Fraser (100 xp each)
Rumours:- "SNEK"

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Powerlad some fractured bones, healed.
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / 
Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 27482 (Level up at 32000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 23850 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / 
Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 23358 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 22787 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 18922 (Level up at 32000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 4 Specialist: 9654 (Level up at 12000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 9293 (Level up at 16000)

Absent or Retired:
- Ollie / Ollie's next character: +300 exp
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Saturday, 17 June 2017

Retrospective 14 - A New Age

The time since the time skip has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride!

Dragons! Dungeons! Disease! Deadly PC-on-PC violence! Darkest betrayal!
And there, right at the end, real actual Heroism.

The pre-TPK party could be characterised as a bunch of roguish sometimes-villainous but always tight-knit group of mercenary opportunists.
Delusions of grandeur, sure, but at the core this was a group of players who always worked together to get treasure and, more often than not, get out of the dungeon.

Thirteen sessions on from the post-TPK timeskip and we've got some real drama happening.
Maybe it's because it's a solid group now rather than an open table? Maybe it's due to retroactive backstory? Maybe people are just more comfortable playing in character after they've become comfortable playing the game?
Whatever it is, it's happening and it's real real cool.

Andromeda's mother was Lulu, Ollie's previous character, whose friends had all been killed by the Dead

We've had a bunch of big moments and big revelations in the last ten sessions, but by far the biggest both in and out of game was the Arena Attack.

One of the party's characters, Andromeda Spiderbite played by Ollie who's our longest-running player, betrayed the rest of the party in the most spectacular and gut-wrenching way possible.
It's something we'd never seen before. Betrayal of the party as a whole. And this on the heels of the game's first intentional PC-on-PC murder.
And worse, they blew up a stadium literally a week after the real world Manchester Attack, albeit their plan had been in place a week or so before that happened. This a followup to the previous attack which had horrifying echoes of Hillsborough.
Real dark. Still not sure how I should feel about that.

But it was totally justified in-character, and Andromeda has gone off to be a semi-NPC villain. A whole character arc of its own.
It'll be great to see where that goes. And she's committed some real abominable crimes for a cause she truly believes in. The best villains are fallen friends, right?

Story arcs and character arcs, naturally formed.
Is anybody taking the helm? Is there an authorial stance at play? It seems the sort of thing you'd ruin if you tried to stick a label on it.
On one hand, I've got a whole lot of world swirling around in the ol' noggin.
On the other hand, we've got a well-used facebook chat (actually more than one) where players are making plans and speculating and asking questions of me and each other.
Since I often know what they want to do next (via the chat, or Andromeda's character emailing me her further plans) I can pour content in that direction. Does that mean they're passively creating a situation that will allow them to form the story that they want to tell?

It's all very hazy and speculative and interesting. And from this strange protean game-muck a whole story just comes into being. Belonging to nobody, and everybody, at the table.

Some character arcs we've witnessed in the last ten sessions:
Rake Hacker goes from lowly toilet humour comic relief to saviour and steward of a whole frontier fortress-town.
Andromeda Spiderbite goes from estranged Barbarian daughter to Hillsborough Disaster re-enactor to a terrorist killer of hundreds.
Captain Book went from amusingly amoral psychopath to horrifyingly amoral mould-drug-infested psychopath that needed to be put down.

And that's not to mention all the others! POWERLAD's growth from aspiring teenage hero to married dragon-summoning superman.
Nix Neckbiter's growth from fairly generic Barbarian to doting mother of a baby basilisk.
Mairead's flanderised descent from grizzled ex-cop to doddering old woman to accidental hero.
And many more!

A heroic reading of Mairead's death smashing into an evil egg


A one-page dungeon from the ancient age of 2010. Really good!
The only real change I made other than reskinning a few things was to make the players not get locked in the cellar. They've had a long history of getting stuck in dungeons. It's too much.
If they get trapped in a dungeon I want it to be their decision, you know?
Of course John Jentilman told them that he wanted to the players to "deal with the rat problem in the cellar" which made everyone go "FINALLY A RATS IN THE CELLAR QUEST!!"
It's taken a TPK and a timeskip for the players to see a Dragon and do a Rat Cellar quest so maybe I've been holding out on them.
So yea, this is a real good dungeon. I particularly like that the trail on the floor meant that the players could set a trap for the poor Gulo aka Giant Rat Monster. Fun stuff!

Moondine Forest South
Classic horn-tooting. I basically drew up a little map of the local area (on grid not hex, blasphemy) and it worked out great. Lots of hostile bullshit in the southern woods, and as ever the random results ended up telling a better story than I could have.
Luckily they met a mould-hunter Necromancer fairly quickly (who gave them the secret to the anti-Mould gasmasks) and also faced these horrible leaping brain-sucking deer mutants that the players think are demons. They might be right.

Nearly got the players to investigate the Barrows but alas, they had bigger fish to fry.
The town of Helix, however, got a bit of exploring. Best character is plainly the weirdo Jafar-esque wizard in the tower. On reflection, I'm not sure how much of that was in the book and how much was me waffling.

They're going back! So I won't spoil anything.
A module that fit perfectly into my game, since there's a giant tentacle of Shub-Niggurath straight up attempting to rip the world to shreds from within.
This is the first time I attempted a new policy of doubling enemy numbers and treasure values. I've been running for a big group for a long time and somehow never considered this easy hack.
Additions include a great big tentacle coming out of the hole, and the lowest level having some visitors from the Veins of the Earth down there oOOOoOooo

After the Arena Disaster and amongst the chaos I made a thing where I split the city into Zones and defined a bunch of problems that players may or may not be able to solve.
I'll post about it soon! It went great!

Mould Cathedral
Justifying my feeling that anything I ever make for my game will come in useful some day, this big old mould cathedral I made years ago is back in use!
Players from long long ago went there in three different sessions back in 2015. Still useful content! Hurrah!
This time around the cathedral proper is packed with piles of mould-encased bodies eternally snuggled into each other. Such a wonderful life without end.

Friday, 16 June 2017

Session 140 - Are We The Goodies?

Man that was a hell of a session.
Who knew that you'd turn all heroic at the first opportunity?

We've got Moondin getting back under control, Nix possibly becoming the head of a whole new cult, and best of all Rake has become the Steward of Moondin!
Meanwhile off in the wilds, Andromeda no doubt plots her next move.

This has been late enough already (expect Henry's session's recap soon) so I'd better fire it off, but god damn was that one long highlight of a session.

I'm off again next Tuesday so we'll return to regular programming on the 27th, I'm pretty sure Henry's running another session though? Anyway, not my problem ha ha ha.
On with the really really long recap!

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- Tom draws Blue Jon in all his glory

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- Charles depicts Rake's discovery that Castigate lives!

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- Ollie gives us a legitimately lovely landscape showing Lulu's last glance back at Fortress Deathfrost

Session 140 - Are We The Goodies?
Campaign Date:
Thursday, 19 June, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Carrie Meleste, Cleric, too nice to be a torturer so became a doctor for the prostitutes of Moondin.

New Backstory:
- Blue John's life was changed forever when his military unit was attacked by mould people from the swamp! He was the only survivor, it scarred him forever. (+1 to reaction rolls with subterranean beings)

Enemies Defeated:- A whole lot of mould junkies, killed cinematically (100 exp)
- Servants of the Ghost Dragon, persuaded to follow (50 exp)
Total: 150 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Castigate Pox's Living Axe and Armour
- A whole lot of gunpowder, given to the Whores
Total: 0 exp

- Travelled around 18 miles (60 exp)
- 2 random encounters (100 exp)
Total: 460 exp

- Rake awakens! He's on a hospital bed in the barracks. By his bedside is new character Carrie Meleste, who he ignores as he springs up and runs to find someone of authority. (50 exp)
- A guard tells Rake that the arena is under control, guards are assisting with the rescue of anyone still trapped, Sergeant Lupus is the man to speak to there. (50 exp)
- Rake runs outside and he sees Blue Jon eating an icecream with evident delight. "I need to get to the Stadium!" he cries! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon snaps his fingers not once, but TWICE! Rake is ENLARGED and FLYING! It's Super-Rake! Yes that's right, Blue Jon got the most balla spell in the game on level-up. (50 exp)
- From the skies, Rake can see much. Most troubling - the mould men have begun pouring from Moonminster, the centre of the town is in anarchy, and there are gunshots from the red light district. (50 exp)
- Carrie heads for the red light zone, she finds it barricaded with prostitutes with guns on the rooftops. Recognising their doctor, the whores let Carrie in and tell her what's going on. (50 exp)
- Main goal - defend themselves from the looters in the anarchy zone of the city centre. Other issues - some dude infested a bunch of prostitutes with Mould recently and they've had to be quarantined. (50 exp)
- A well-endowed statue is used to bar the main barricade. This is important enough to be written down. (50 exp)
- Rake lands near the shattered Arena, the whole south wall's been blown open. He uses Fly+Enlarge to lift a huge rock off of a grateful survivor buried under the rubble. Proper hero shit. (50 exp)
- Rake flies down to a guard who seems in charge... it's Sergeant Lupus! On hearing that there's shit going down at Moonminster, he sends off some men to help out. Rake sticks around to rescue people and help with the lifting. (50 exp)
- The non-Rake non-Carrie contingent have decided to Do Something about the mould zone. They head to check the place out. Seems that the guards and necromancers don't trust each other but have locked down the main road. (50 exp)
- Seeing the haze of mould drifting through the mould zone streets, the party inform Necromancers and Guards of the Take-Light-Earth masks. Only the Necromancers seem willing to use them. (50 exp)
- This is fine because Undead are the perfect uninfestable anti-Mould troops. Hurrah! The party join them going house by house, slaughtering junkies where they lie tripping out. (50 exp)
- Rake flies towards the mould zone with a huge rock! Holding it aloft he gives a rousing speech to the uncertain Guard forces, then flies over to Moonminster and chucks the boulder through the cathedral wall! (50 exp)
- Carrie asks where she might find a stockpile of oil - in the anarchy zone unfortunately. (50 exp)
- Rake flies over the anarchy zone towards the red light district. Warning shots from the roofs make him fly in slowly with hands raised. They're not trusting of men right now and Rake makes a bad impression. (50 exp)
- Zena, POWERLAD and the rest are helping to invade the mould zone. Pervasive but thin clouds of spores everywhere, thankfully absorbed by the masks. (50 exp)
- Skeletons are the perfect anti-mould troops, they can't get high or infested. There is very little resistance since it's basically just junkies getting high. The junkies are slaughtered, house by house and room by room. (50 exp)
- Rake tries to persuade the hookers to help quell the anarchy zone. They tell him to fuck off before they shoot him. He flies off, disappointed. (50 exp)
- Rake's Fly is about to wear off, so he zooms over to the rubble of the Arena to get Castigate Pox's rad axe. He holds it aloft... and hears a voice in his mind. (50 exp)
- "Ah! Rake Hacker! I had hoped it would be you who would wield me!" (50 exp)
- It's the big man himself, soul ensconced within the axe! Each piece of his hollow armour, each inscribed with some strange symbols, fly through the air and attach to Rake. Power armour! (50 exp)
- Castigate says that he's still weak, will need some time to get his power back. If Rake lets him, he'd be very grateful to be worn around while trying to get his city back under control. (50 exp)
- As of now it's no-encumbrance power armour, a magic greataxe that can cast Necromancer spells, and Castigate's voice in Rake's ear. (50 exp)
- He runs, assisted by the armour, towards the mould zone. Meanwhile in the mould zone, Team Kill-Mould is chatting with a Necromancer and discover people think a giant dragon destroyed the stadium! "Oh shit yea". (50 exp)
- They head in towards the rock-broken breach of the cathedral with Necromancer support, killing as they go. (50 exp)
- Looks fucked up inside Moonminster. Spores gust from within. Piles of bodies grown together against the walls and the floor. Lots of blood as the rock took out a bunch of them. Rake catches up and they enter. (50 exp)
- Torches on, spores sparkling and crackling around the flame, entering the spore-haze. Each person's mask constantly pulling the spores in and surrounding each person with a strange halo. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Nix is heading over to the red light district, via the anarchy zone at the city centre. She witnesses some looters, Necromancer security team running in to deal with it. (50 exp)
- She keeps going, eventually reaching the main barricade. Hookers with guns peer down from above. She is questioned, but Carrie hears her voice and comes out to support her. (50 exp)
- Nix is allowed in, and together they approach the woman who's loosely in charge here - Ophelia. Attempt to persuade her to get the whores to stage a "Duvan Coup" and seize control of the city. (50 exp)
- She's reticent to help, but she does know where a big gunpowder cache can be found. Nix and Carrie basically want to give them the gunpowder in exchange for eventual influence. Three hookers decide to join the raid into the anarchy zone. Lock and load! (50 exp)
- Back at the cathedral, the team are exploring. No real threats just yet, it seems. Blue Jon scans for the nearest staircase. They go in that direction,try to open a door... and it's blocked from the other side simply by weight of mould-bodies! (50 exp)
- Some attempts at setting fire to the lot of them are made... to no avail. More fire is needed! And the moist mould doesn't burn easily. The team bug out to get more flammables. (50 exp)
- Over in the anarchy zone, Nix, Carrie and their three companions are quickly quietly carefully heading towards the gunpowder magazine. In their way... a burning effigy of a dragon! Surrounded by weirdo cultists! (50 exp)
- They declare themselves Servants of the Ghost Dragon and try to convert them! Praise the ghost dragon! (50 exp)
- They reply that the ghost dragon is totes bullshit and anger the cultists! They are attacked! To my surprise and amusement, one of the hookers was holding her gun the wrong way round and shoots herself in the heart! (50 exp)
- Her sister falls to the ground next to her, weeping and wailing. The cultists have noticed Nix's basilisk now though... and Nix persuades them that it is a child of the ghost dragon. (50 exp)
- The cultists totally join Nix's CULT OF THE NEW DRAGON! Good stuff! (50 exp)
- The inflated group continues, finding some guards fighting with some anarchists. Carrie tells the guards she'll tell their mothers. "My mum's dead!". She'll tell a Necromancer to tell their mothers. "Fuck!". Next level shit. (50 exp)
- They reach the gunpowder store and loot a bunch of barrels of gunpowder. They bring them back to the red light district to great admiration. The hookers trust Nix now! (50 exp)
- Team Mould-Killer leave the cathedral and head away, soon coming to the distrusting factions of Necromancers and Guards gathered at the edge of the mould zone. (50 exp)
- Striding forth, Rake/Castigate lets forth a rallying cry! Castigate lives on... in Rake! The perfect expression of unity between Necromancer and Guard! Together we are stronger! Unite under the banner of... CASTIRAKE PACKER! (50 exp)
- Rake enacts emergency measures until such time as the city is back under control, and liberally applies debatably meaningful titles to his friends. (50 exp)
- Downtime ensues! But first... Rake faces a grilling from the media. They're not totally sold on Rake's on-the-spot answers, but when I rolled up his competition's answers earlier it turns out they sucked waaaaay more. Rake wins! (50 exp)
- NOW Downtime ensues! Blue Jon researches his sick new spell - Sculpt Familiar. POWERLAD learned Fly! Rake donates a bunch of money to the Arena rebuild efforts.
- Everyone basically spends liberally on charity and booze, with a promise from the DM that things won't get too fucked up in the meantime. Great fun! (50 exp)
- Rake (and Castigate) are recognised as the Steward of Moondin by the populace, and this knowledge is known far and wide! Score! Also the Arena is to have a statue astride the gate like the colossus. (50 exp)
- Carrie donates money to "Whores for Cause", a charity supporting Moondin's red light district. Anything she buys in this city is 10% cheaper from now on! (50 exp)
- During the group's carousing, Carrie is set upon by thieves! But in what is becoming a remarkable habit, turns it around and gets the wannabe thieves to buy her a drink! (50 exp)
- Rake gets fucking sloshed and gets into trouble... luckily Castigate Pox has enough armour control to help him stagger home. What a bro. Also - "Does Castigate only drink spirits?" ho ho ho (50 exp)
- Zena philanthropises, finds out some information. Is there a way to cure the Mould? Meta-answer: "None that I know of". Going to need some Grade A Bullshit to pull that off! (50 exp)
- Raaf heads into the Anarchy Zone to lay down the martial law with a strong contingent. RISEN, the terrorist group agitating for the destruction of all Necromancers, quieten down. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon philanthrophises, asks around about what the source of the mould is. The Heart of Thorns, south through the woods, towards the lair of the Green Dragon. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD philanthrophises and is known by name in this place. People greet him on the street, he's a minor celebrity. (50 exp)
- We finish off with some more media grilling for Rake because I really enjoyed putting Tom on the spot. He eventually learns to pivot to meaningless platitudes like a good politician. (50 exp)
- In the end the upshot of the questions is that the Guard faction are totally into Rake, and the Necromancer faction is less trusting. Better than nothing!
- You know what? The day is totally saved! (50 exp)
- And that evening, beneath the cover of darkness, Zena gives a mysterious letter to a rider who rides off into the night... (50 exp)
Total: 2950 exp

- AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting 
bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Child Murderer bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Schindler's bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
Total: 950 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (
Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (
Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Inspiring Speech bonus (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom, Ollie - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Charles, Tom, Ollie - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco di Panico dell'Arte bonus (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Homebringer bonus (Andy - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Andy - 500 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Everyone! - 100 exp ea.)
- Carousing!
  - Rake: 1600 exp
  - Nix: 5600 exp
  - Carrie: 4800 exp
- Philanthropy!
  - Rake: 2400 exp
  - Nix: 1000 exp
  - Carrie: 1000 exp
  - Blue Jon: 3200 exp
  - Zena: 4000 exp
  - POWERLAD: 3200 exp

"Media" Questions:
What are your religious beliefs? "Moondin is open to people of all religions"
What is the right religion? "We must pull together in this hour of need"
You were meant to speak at the arena. Why weren't you there? Do you agree that this is suspicious? "I was betrayed by my friend, Andromeda Spiderbite. She poisoned me."
Who was the perpetrator? "Andromeda Spiderbite was behind it all"
Where has Moldus Vane gone? How will you hunt him down? Pivot pivot platitude pivot
What are your next steps? "Rebuild the Arena as a symbol of hope and to honour people"
How will you contain the mould people pouring from the cathedral? "With Justice!"
What are your views on Necromancy and the Duvan'Ku? "We owe them a great debt, they saved us from mould and dragons and disaster. Andromeda is a terrorist and will be stopped."
How will you ensure the North and South Towers remain defended? Raaf Hacker, head of the militia. I have many strong, capable men under my command, and of course the Duvan'Ku are here to help too.
Do you believe that all Termaxians are terrorists? There are Termaxians and fundamentalist Termaxians. Not all are bad
Then why are all terrorists Termaxians? My platform is that Moondin is open to all religions
What will you do to bring the whores to heel? I support the prostitutes and prostitution. We are all one people and must stand together now more than ever. Also weed is legal now.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / 
Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 26637 (Level up at 32000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 22905 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / 
Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 22713 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 21942 (Level up at 36000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 17677 (Level up at 32000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble! +backstory!- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 4 Specialist: 0 (Level up at 12000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 8548 (Level up at 16000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- Ollie / Ollie's next character: +300 exp
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Saturday, 3 June 2017

Session 139 - Et tu, Andromeda?

That was, without a doubt, one of the most memorable sessions of D&D I've ever run.
I know we've had mould-Andy go around trying to infest people before, but we've never had someone covertly work to undermine the party and actively oppose the rest of the players before. Can Ollie ever be trusted again?!

Character stakes, an ally turned villain, a breakdown of trust, and that character bleed, man. Intense stuff!

Also, pretty brutal to follow up fantasy Hillsborough with fantasy Manchester Attack but that's terrorists for you.

I'm pretty sure the plan is to have Andromeda go off to be an NPC for a while (I have her plans, courtesy of Ollie), so we'll be back to one cohesive group next week.
I'm pretty excited for next week to see what actually happens!

On with the art attacks etc -
We've got Charles-brand mid-Remembrancer doodles on show:
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Tom reveals his plans for Castigate Pox's fallen arms and armour

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- Tom collages a depiction of Zarat's mould pile condition

And finally, Tom writes us some sweet delicious fiction:---

“Let me see, let me see!” Mordus grappled past his friend for a better view. Hadfar always got the best look – he was bigger and taller – but today was too important for Mordus to miss. Rake Hacker was to speak at the arena.

Suddenly, footsteps! The boys snapped from their struggle and hid quietly. They'd sneaked beneath the seating of the arena to see the speech, but there were guards everywhere. Mordus was scared of the guards, they were loud and smelly and they made strange faces at his mother.

As soon as the guard was out of sight, Mordus - faster than his friend - sprinted back to the crack. Beyond he could see the brightly painted walls of the arena, today veiled with black, the smart uniforms of the bone parade, the curious head-cages and feather-shawls of the nobles. The crowd creaked and stomped in the stands above.

His eyes scanned the scene for the general's box. He was desperate to see Rake. Every child in Moondin wanted to meet him. The day before, the two boys had fought imaginary duels in Uncle Bram's orchard with sacks for capes.

Suddenly, Mordus was yanked from his hole by the leg - Hadfar didn't want to wait his turn! "That's not fair!" screamed Mordus, his arms flailing as Hadfar stepped on him to climb onto the scaffold, pressing his face into the dirt.

Oddly, the ground was trembling beneath him.

Then everything was fire, and Mordus' skin was screaming as his soft, freckled skin was turned to crackling. The fireball ripped out from the earth and up through the scaffold, sucking the air from the boys' lungs and spitting splinters of wood and nail and glass and bone. 

Then came the shockwave, rippling through the arena. Mordus felt his stomach void as he was thrown upwards, limbs wheeling like one of his sister's ragdolls, higher first than the seating, now than the cathedral spire. Below him the stones of the arena flung themselves lazily into the surrounding houses.

The view was exciting but also scary and it was hard to see because his eyes were bleeding, and for some reason he couldn't move his arms to wipe them. 

Mother will worry, he thought. I’m going to be in so much trouble.


Session 139 - Et tu, Andromeda?
Campaign Date:
Monday, 16 May, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Gryph Bodhammer, drum sergeant and conveniently placed perspective character.

New Backstory:
- Zena, bedecked in demon-skin clothing and runic tattoos, always attracted attention. Her strange look made her an object of interest and suspicion wherever she went. (+1 to reaction rolls when you're wearing clean, stylish clothes)- Rake may or may not have knocked up a whore and may or may not have sold the child to slavery and may or may not have witnessed slavers stealing his baby away.
All we know is that there was a child and some point, nominally Rake's, and that when he returned from war the baby was gone. (Next character can be your child, starts with half your exp)
- Banjo Fishwick pulled off a ridiculous con - put on a circus sideshow billed as the "man eating fish". After they'd paid their copper, they entered the tent only to find a man eating a fish. Genius. (Once per session, someone totally believes a plausible lie)

Enemies Defeated:- 8 Mould Junkies (200 exp)
- 3 Mould Vessels (150 exp)
- 2 Filled Men (200 exp)
- Countless innocents (0 exp)- Cpt. Rigel, Leader of the Moondin City Guard (0 exp)
- Castigate Pox and his Necromancer retinue (0 exp)
- Madame Gash, Arch-Procuress (0 exp)
Total: 550 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A seriously pissed off Tom
- Powers known: Unbeliever.
-- +4 to hit vs Lawful creatures.
-- Each hit on a Cleric drains one uncast spell at random.
-- Cleric spells targeting the wielder can be denied if the wielder takes twice the spell level as damage.
-- All Cleric spells have minimal effect when cast on someone who has wielded the sword in the past 24 hours.
Total: 0 exp

- Travelled around 18 miles (60 exp)
- 2 random encounters (100 exp)
Total: 460 exp

- The party limp back to camp, finding that Bertha has been busy reinforcing the camp site! Nice! Trenches, spikes, the works. It's WWI up in here. (50 exp)
- As luck would have it... the party arrive just in time to see some mould people sneakily sneaking up on the other side of the clearing. (50 exp)
- Banjo melts into the undergrowth and begins to sneak around behind them, while Andromeda stands and whistles! Her steed, Midnight Fantasy, comes galloping from the camp. (50 exp)
- I take the new animal system for a spin and it turns out the other horse wants to follow the herd! It runs after Midnight Fantasy which is very convenient. (50 exp)
- All this noise alerts both Bertha and the mould people. Bertha hears POWERLAD's warning and darts into a tent. POWERLAD and Zena sprint in to save her! (50 exp)
- Banjo emerges from the bushes... and tries talking to the mould people! He tells them that the tentacle people need them urgently! (50 exp)
- "Tentacle people? What tentacle people?" say the junkies. Turns out they aren't friends with them! (50 exp)
- The mould men rush Banjo and grapple some sweet sweet mould into his mouth. It always happens to poor old Andy. He's overwhelmed by sadness and the mould people all collapse to the ground as the mould high kicks in. (50 exp)
- That's distraction enough for POWERLAD and Zena who grab Bertha from the tent and make a run for it. (50 exp)
- The others, mounted up, argue briefly about whether they should leave the newly infested Banjo to his new friends. A Floating Disk dragged behind Blue Jon's horse is used to scoop him up and escape! (50 exp)
- Once clear of the clearing, the trip back starts fairly uneventful. A grasshopper jumps on someone's shirt. No big. (50 exp)
- But then as late afternoon rolls round... a very strange man appears. Nude, mad, covered in tattooed writing, and creepy-crawling around on all fours. (50 exp)
- After some suspicious riddling conversation, the party try to make him fuck off by getting him to play hide and seek. This annoys him, and the roads warp around them! Suddenly the party's back near the tentacle! The strange man laughs! (50 exp)
- "You want to go to Moondin eh? But you are tentacles! Don't go to Moondin! Dark plots are afoot! Moondin will be your DOOM!!" he says, or something similarly foreshadowy. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon gives him a joint, which makes him cackle and caper back into the forest happily puffing away at it. The roads shiver and warp again, and as the party passes a corner they find themselves at the gates of Moondin itself! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Rake, first things first, heads straight to the Necromancer-General's office. Andromeda heads off to buy some things and research some spells... or so she says. (50 exp)
- Castigate Pox, Necromancer-General, is very impressed and pleased with the progress the party has made into the tentacle dungeon. That the egg was destroyed is a great boon, as is the strange egg amulet that allows you to speak with the tentacle men. (50 exp)
- He agrees to build a slightly smaller statue of Mairead next to Rake's own, and to establish a forward base and supply chain to the chained tentacle to support further delves. (50 exp)
- Castigate informs Rake that he seeks to seal the Tentacle once more. There was once a witch who kept it bound, but no longer. The sealing ritual requires a sacrifice of 2000 souls, willingly given. This is the Necromancers' true cause. (50 exp) 
- He also says that there's an Arena Disaster Benefit event coming up on Sunday, and he'd be honoured if Rake himself could give a speech there as a tribute to the victims. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, Andromeda is using her seedier connections to acquire a cart, a pile of corpses, a few vials of a tasteless white substance, and a number of barrels filled with a significant quantity of "fairy powder"... (50 exp)
- Also meanwhile, Banjo hits up Moonminster, the Mould Cathedral, and is invited inside. Within he sees Zarat, comfortably snuggled into the moist heaving mass of mouldy men, women and children that grow around each other against the walls (50 exp)
- This mental image really fucks up James Gregory so I must be doing something right! (50 exp)
- The priest takes Banjo to the altar of Oberon, where he prays. The priest Blesses Banjo as he leaves, telling him to go with god. They totally scripturally justify the Mould as a good and holy thing here, be fruitful and multiply etc. (50 exp)
- Zena buys a book on the Mould and Blue Jon uses Bookspeak to get the goods. How do you cure mould? DEATH! What spells can cure the Mould? CURE DISEASE. Great, thanks book real fucking helpful. (50 exp)
- Since the healers in Moondin were somehow murdered recently, plans are considered to take Banjo to the next walled town over and look for a healer there. They go to tell Banjo but... he's gone?! (50 exp)
- Suspecting betrayal, Rake declares a new plan - if you see Banjo, kill him. But his suspicion doesn't go far enough... (50 exp)
- Andromeda, using hookers and bribes to distract the guards, brings a cart full of corpses under the arena. The Necromancers need raw materials to build their undead for Construct Wars, obviously. (50 exp)
- After a few days of spell research, Andromeda is still missing and Banjo has been stalling the Mould by working his way through the red light district and infesting working girls. (50 exp)
- Rake attempts to unlock the full powers of Unbeliever. I swear I named this sword before I got a Kanye track of all things stuck in my head. (50 exp)
- "What's a man to a mob? What's a mob to a king? What's a king to a god? What's a god to a nonbeliever?". Intended answer "nothing" or something along those lines. Rake's answer isn't close, so he chucks it in the gutter and grumps. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon retrieves the sword and says "Nemesis!" to the final line. Close enough! Surprising nobody, it's a Cleric-killer weapon. (50 exp)
- A few days are spent researching spells and buying stuff. Andromeda gets Hold Portal. Blue Jon grabs Phantasmal Force from POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- Days pass. The Saturday before the Arena Disaster Benefit, the party head off to the Arena and check out the
 gambling minigames! I spent a small but significant amount of time making a gambling calculator and people seem to enjoy it so I am glad that nothing bad will happen to the Arena in the near future. (50 exp)
- Gryph Bodhammer, James' new character who works as a drum sergeant, is there betting on Flesh & Bone. It's capital punishment via fights against increasingly inventive undead. (50 exp)
- The next event, Blood Gauntlet, is like Total Wipeout but with blood instead of water and dumb Necromancer contraptions. (50 exp)
- It's remarkably exciting! The underdog Backflip Jack seizes the day due to judicious use of the d30 to influence the odds! (50 exp)
- MAA MAA MAAAAAAAA airhorns sound all the time in the arena by the way. (50 exp)
- The next day, the day of the Arena Disaster Benefit, Andromeda turns back up and buys everyone breakfast. What a darling. (50 exp)
- Rake realises first and chokes out, "Poison!". He fights it, stares at Andromeda in confusion, tries to get up and stumbles. The rest of the party stay where they are. Banjo is still nowhere to be seen. (50 exp)
- "Stay here guys", says Andromeda. She leaves and fades into the crowd that's walking in towards the arena. (50 exp)
- Rake comes to, staggers towards the door, tries to shout a warning but collapses against the door frame and passes out. The last words he hears are "wait, Rake? Is that Rake? What's wrong with him? Did... did he just shit himself?" (50 exp)
- We cut to Banjo, who's snuck into the bowels of the stadium. There are guards down there, but everyone's too excited about the event to really suspect anything. (50 exp)
- Banjo's really sneaky... but not sneaky enough. As he reaches the cart with the gunpowder barrels piled high, placed directly beneath the Necromancer-General's box... some guards notice. (50 exp)
- Rake regains consciousness again. He's on a stretcher. A man is asking him what happened. Rake tries to speak but only manages to murmer a single word - "Andromeda". (50 exp)
- Did you know that Banjo has a history of deception? We do, as of this very session. He engages his backstory to make the guard totally believe a plausible lie. These barrels are fireworks for the main event. Honest. They'll fire off from under the Necromancer's box at the end of the ceremony. (50 exp)
- The guard tells one of his underlings to go tell his daughters in the stands to watch out for the wonderful fireworks display that is to come. (50 exp)
- Out in the Arena, Gryph Bodhammer leads the musicans in a rousing display of musical patriotism. (50 exp)
- In the inn, the party can do nothing but wait as they wonder what Andromeda's dark plans may be. (50 exp)
- In the box, Necromancer-General Castigate Pox emerges and waves at his people to raucous applause. A symbol of strength and unity. (50 exp)
- On the streets, concerned citizens tend to the unconscious Rake. (50 exp)
- And Banjo climbs on top of the gunpowder barrels, torch in hand.  (50 exp)
Total: 2600 exp

 The Arena explosion destroys the whole southern section of the walls and stands, including and especially the Necromancer-General's box. (50 exp)
- Hundreds, if not thousands, are dead. (50 exp)
- Castigate Pox's axe spins lazily through the air and embeds itself blade-first in the arena floor. (50 exp)
- Andromeda rides hard out of the city. She passes by the inn where the effects of the poison are only just starting to wear off. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD stumbles out first, sees Andromeda, cries "Why!?" (50 exp)
- He summons the phantasmal Gravity Dragon, but too slow! (50 exp)
- As the great beast unfurls its great wings and drags itself out from POWERLAD's imagination, Andromeda rides between its still-forming legs and away. (50 exp)
- As she rides, her two remaining radicalised converts join her on horses of their own. Two prostitutes who believe in Andromeda's dream of a Necromancer-free Loegria. The humble beginnings of the RISEN insurgency. (50 exp)
Total: 500 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations 
bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Child Murderer bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Gambling Problem bonus (50 exp)

- I Immediately Regret This Breakfast bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Literally For Real a Terrorist bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Riddlemaster bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Soap Opera bonus (50 exp)
- Social Justice Warrior bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guy bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Eat That bonus (50 exp)- Delicious Admin bonus (100 exp)
- OHKO'd a Scary Enemy bonus (100 exp)
- Overkilled a Scary Enemy bonus (100 exp)
Total: 2000 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Mairead - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles*2, Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles*2 - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Horrifying Realisation bonus (Breakfast eaters - 100 exp ea.)
- Asshole bonus (Andromeda - 0 exp)
- An Hero bonus (Andy - 200 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Andy, James - 500 exp ea.)
- Teamkilled bonus (James - 500 exp)

- "The Carrowmore Confederacy sell all sorts of strange and miraculous things from deep deep below the earth. The treasures they found under the lakebed were great indeed!"
- "The roads have a mind of their own, they bend and shiver beneath the light of the moon. The Elves sense all who walk upon them."
- "There's a reward for killing the elves in Moondin. They'll pay a gold piece per left Elf ear, I'm told."
- "At the mouth of the Moonwash, south through the Heart of the Woods, is a dead land full of dead men and barrow-geld."
- "Those mould people who infest others delay their transformation! It makes it hard to tell what they truly are, stay vigilant!"
- "There are no roads to the deep woods in the south of the forest, it is trackless and unexplored all the way to the sea."
- "Their are hags in the swamps who can only be found by one who is lost. If you must walk that way, stick to the paths."
- "Trust the Cunning Men, they know these woods better than anyone. It is a great honour to have a Cunning Man share your hearth."

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Banjo Fishwick, blew himself up while committing the brutal act of terrorism known as the Arena Explosion Disaster..
- Gryph Bodhammer, died in the Arena Explosion Disaster perpetrated by Andromeda Spiderbite and Banjo Fishwick
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / 
Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 19192 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 18568 (Level up at 36000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +1 level 3 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 17760 (Level up at 32000)
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17797 (Level up at 18000)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)*IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES*
- Charles / Zena, Level 4 Fighter: 9705 (Level up at 16000)- Andy / Banjo Fishwick, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 8306 (Level up at 12000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 3 Fighter: 7803 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble table! +Backstory!
- James / Gryph Bodhammer, Level 1 Something-or-Other
- Andy / Next Character: +1464 exp

Absent, Retired or Brutally Betrayed the Party:
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)