Monday, 11 June 2018

Session 184 - They're Very Slowly Getting Away!

After quite some time in Moondin, the party have finally decided to leave!
And then it takes them a good long while to actually leave.
At least they found time to tie up the loose end of Sylvia Flora and largely leave the town in a better state than it was a month ago. Such heroes!

POWERLAD saves a damsel in distress
Galaxy Johnson drags a lawyer into the shadow dimension
Styx leaves a child behind
Ratimir redistributes the wealth
The Spider-Kids go to a house party




- What does this even summon?!?!



Session 184 - They're Very Slowly Getting Away!

Campaign Date:
Thursday, 4 April, 1601
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Pisces

New Backstory:
- The Spider-Kids are known around town for their iconic uniforms, supplied with compliments by David "Shady Dave" Shadwell. (+1 to Reaction rolls when wearing clean, stylish clothes)
- Styx nearly died doing something stupid, but luckily managed to see it just in time! (+1 Awareness)
- Ratimir cautioned a comrade against pursuing capital. They were first against the wall when the revolution came. (Get a reroll against fallout of someone disregarding your advice)

Treasure and Equipment:
- An umbrella (100 exp)
- A silver dagger (100 exp)
- A small ivory chest (1250 exp)
- A bunch of jewellery (6250 exp)
Total: 7700 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- Several intelligent dead people (40 exp)
- Singular Thay, forced to flee (250 exp)
Total: 290 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the House of Crystal Ivy (200 exp)
- Traveled approx 60 miles (200 exp)
- 1 random encounter (50 exp)
Total: 450 exp

Events:
--- Admin Adventures
- With plans to travel out of Moondin firmly in the party's sights, it's time to buy a few things for the road! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD agrees to use his vast inherited wealth to bankroll Styx's travel purchases. Front-facing rune lances, rations, a couple of tents to make the trip a bit more comfortable, and a few other bits. The Güber is looking good! (50 exp)
- While he's getting the money from his manse to pay for this stuff, POWERLAD prays to Ninhursag again for what might be the last time in a while. Their bond is strengthened! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD gains access to the Apotheosis Protocol! Much like Christina Breaker demonstrated recently, with a week of sustained focus and meditation he can erupt into a mighty elemental Dragon! (50 exp)
- Ratimir goes fishing while he waits for the group to leave. (50 exp)
--- 
Galaxy Makes Amends
- Galaxy Johnson travels to the library to talk to Andromeda. To apologise, and for closure, and maybe to get his Ereshkigal powers back. (50 exp)
- He apologises for what she went through, and she's surprisingly good about it. She did, after all, get saved by POWERLAD. When asked how much she saw, she says "Everything, Galaxy. Everything." (50 exp)
- They were both duped, in their own way. She doesn't hold it against him. She's glad Arach-Nacha's dead. (50 exp)
- She confirms that it was her idea to kill Magnus Grossman, she asked Arach-Nacha to do that. She thought becoming the Gogamogic cult leader would make him happy, and to her credit she's kinda right? (50 exp)
- When asked about her faith in Ereshkigal, she reveals a wavering faith and feeling uncomfortable with baptising him. She is, however, very willing to join the party on their way north. An excuse to be near POWERLAD? Sign her up! (50 exp)
- Galaxy leaves for now and seeks out Styx's minion Break, who's already in the Cult of Ereshkigal. He gets baptised with an invisible line of force in the shape of the Mass rune. Galaxy regains the ability to instant-cast Mass glyphs! (50 exp)
--- Checking in on Sylvia
- POWERLAD, Styx, and Sir Robyn walk out to Sylvia Flora's place to close off that mystery. The House of Crystal Ivy is shrouded with vines and sweet-smelling flowers, crystals dangle from the ivy, ringing sweetly together like wind chimes. (50 exp)
- Out the front of the house a man lounges in the back of a rickshaw with a big hat over his face. At the sound of POWERLAD knocking on the door, he warns them not to go in. "I died in there, friend. Stay away I say!". (50 exp)
- POWERLAD, suspicious, activates heartbeat vision. He's got no heartbeat! Other than that he seems fine though? (50 exp)
- He explains that he remembers coming past the house and hearing yells of shock and fright from within. Seeing as Sylvia's one of his favourite customers, he burst in, only to be blasted with ghosts by a person with a "head like an egg". (50 exp)
- But that must have just been a dream, seeing as he's alive right now. Right? It was very vivid though. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD enters regardless, calling out for Sylvia. She answers quickly, poking her head out of a door. Her eyes a pitch black which is weird. Awkward smalltalk ensues, Sylvia insisting she's ok and don't worry about her and just leave it's all good. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson outside tries to detect demons and comes up blank. Not demons for once then. He decides to climb up to the second floor and investigate while POWERLAD's chatting below. (50 exp)
- Climbing onto the upper balcony and peeking through the first floor window, he sees an absolute unit of a man. Green scales, barrel chest, but he looks kinda nervous. (50 exp)
- His investigations are spotted by a man on the top floor balcony above! He looks quizzically at Galaxy, who climbs up to him. (50 exp)
- This guy remembers dying too, mostly being blasted off the balcony and falling to his death. Must have also been a dream though? (50 exp)
- Downstairs, Sylvia says she didn't really like her fellow drakencult leaders and doesn't much care that they're dead. Nevertheless she wants to stay the head of the Plant-worshipping Tangled Drakencult. Maybe she'll become a recluse. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD is suspicious, so turns on his heartbeat vision again. The only heartbeats in the house are Sylvia and another one somewhere upstairs. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn cantrips Dispel Magic into a magic scanner, sensing multiple sources. He tries to get Sylvia to hold his raccoon, but is denied. The other raccoon scampers into the dining room Sylvia came from and finds another presumably-dead person sitting at the table. (50 exp)
- While Sylvia is distracted it starts casting Dispel Magic! The spell goes off, the maybe-dead woman at the table slumps over, and Sylvia staggers as her black eyes clear! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD grabs her, boosts strength as he hefts her onto a shoulder, and books it out of there! Styx has been ready to go this whole time and follows along at speed. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn, just behind, notices a swarm of ghosts blasting through the upper story window just before they hit him! He yells out for Galaxy Johnson to save him... and grey arms grab him to pull him into the shadow of a nearby wall. (50 exp)



- The stream of ghosts smashes into the wall bare moments after he disappears. Phew! (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn and Galaxy Johnson fall out of another shadow and onto the first floor of Sylvia's house, sprawling onto the wooden floorboards. That was close! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD is still running, Sylvia over his shoulder. Mists gather in front of them and swirl into the shape of Singular Thay who just wants to talk. (50 exp)
- "Fuck no" say all, then they hear Galaxy and Sir Robyn's yells of fear from back in the house! "You've got a breath weapon right?" says POWERLAD. "Fuck yea" says Sylvia. (50 exp)
--- The Apparent Capture of Singular Thay
- Back in the house, Galaxy Johnson has opened a door to reveal an enormous black destrier with eyes of coals! It breathes a wave of burning flame which narrowly misses the grey Elf! He slams the door shut again. (50 exp)



- Suddenly, POWERLAD and Sylvia are there! Sylvia unleashes her Flower Breath prematurely, covering the room with a wave of clinging vines! At least the horse is trapped in there now. Loud smashing sounds can be heard from behind the door. (50 exp)
- The fire is spreading, so Galaxy and Sir Robyn take for the stairs down. The misty form of Singular Thay coalesces in front of them... (50 exp)
- But downstairs, Styx has been busy with a Take Gravity rune. Everyone, even Singular Thay, gets caught in the anti-gravity field. Caught! (50 exp)



- Singular Thay agrees to go with them as a hostage, so Styx activates a Take Flame glyph and goes around putting out the fires. Phew! (50 exp)
- Singular Thay chats shit for a while until it becomes apparent that this misty version is just a decoy. Their voice mocks the party as they fade away. Booooo. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Sylvia take to the air to see if they can find any trace of where Singular Thay went, but it's no use. Other than the hole in the side of the house and some blackened hoofprints going directly up a nearby wall and across the rooftops. (50 exp)
- Left behind, Styx vacuums up the last of the fire and loots the place, finding much stuff! (50 exp)
- He leaves, loaded down with such wonders as an umbrella and a knife, when SUDDENLY!!! (50 exp
)



--- Ratimir's Adventures in Rent-Seeking
- Ratimir is here with an arbitrary number of rats! Somehow he sensed that Styx was planning to keep the loot he found to himself! (50 exp)
- Styx, shocked, flings the supercharged Take Flame glyph at Ratimir and his swarms as they bear down upon him. The shot goes wide, smashing through a window of the House of Crystal Ivy and setting the house back on fire! (50 exp)
- The rats swarm over Styx, the sheer weight of the rats enough to hold him to the ground. Ratimir demands that Styx divide the fruits of his labour evenly amongst the party. After all, he's spent a whole morning fishing. Surely that has equivalent labour value to defying death, fighting fires, and searching a dangerous house for loot? (50 exp)
- Is a Goblin not entitled to the sweat of his own brow? No, says the Ratman. It belongs to the Party. (50 exp)
-  Ratimir, using his rat-backed monopoly on violence, coerces Styx into giving up his earned capital to be redistributed. For the good of the people, naturally. A dark parable of bolshevism indeed. (50 exp)
- If you want a picture of the future, imagine a horde of rats chewing on a Goblin's face -- Forever. (50 exp)
--- Sylvia's Story
- POWERLAD and Sylvia have been trying to chase down the real Singular Thay... to no avail. They got away clean! What a dirty trick! (50 exp)
- Returning to the rest, Sylvia is asked about what happened to her. Apparently she got soul-swapped with Singular Thay, who took over her body and used it to sign the Boat Festival contract. (50 exp)
- Multiple soul-swaps back and forth ensued, with the demon Datura keeping her under control with mind-controlling magic. She was still there behind her own eyes though. It was horrible. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn realises that the contract was void from the start. It was signed by Sylvia's hand, sure, but Singular Thay was possessing her at the time! (50 exp)
- She flies off to the central island to tell the surviving drakencult what happened... and to formulate a plan to kick the demons out of Moondin. (50 exp)
--- On the road again
- With all that out of the way, the party finally decides it's time to head off to Dwimmermount! (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn takes his leave of the group for a while. He'll head to Battlefortress Fate and set up shop there, research some spells off-screen, that sort of thing. The Spider-Kids join the party as an active Player Character! (50 exp)
- Styx leaves his minion Stones behind to become a permanent Drakencult High Priest. He's granted full NPC status and told to look after the place. His initial "WAHAHA I HAVE A NEW MASTER NOW!" is quickly shot down by a stern look from Styx. (50 exp)



- They drive off in the Güber, leaving Moondin behind after a good few weeks of intrigue. Andromeda's stoked to be here, wind whipping through her hair, and the adventurous spiderlings are kiting off the back. So lovely! (50 exp)
--- New Rakedin
- As the Güber approaches the palisade walls of New Rakedin, a warning shot rings out. Styx brings them towards the gate slowly. "Oh shit is that POWERLAD?" says a voice. (50 exp)
- New Rakedin is defended by a small garrison, keeping the fort occupied in case it's needed in the future. They let the Güber in through the gates. (50 exp)
- The garrison is mostly Rebel Dead with their brightly painted skeleton minions. They've mostly survived on bland tentacle jerky, so the party gives them a few rationsworth of spices to make it a bit tastier. (50 exp)
- The Spider-Kids show them how to make that good good tentacle kebab. (50 exp)
- In return for this kindness, the party are given a bunch of spare corpse-fat candles and a bone that shoots out a green flare if you open the cap and twist. Shoot the flare on your way in next time so they know you're friendly. (50 exp)
- They also tell the party that the Corpse Fog that comes at nights won't enter a dwelling that has a flame inside, hence the candles. It's how they keep their skeletons from going rogue when the fog rolls in. Put them all in a tent and keep a candle going in there. (50 exp)
--- The Wretched
- They leave New Rakedin and continue along the road, soon coming to the immense bridge over the massive river Deeprush. (50 exp)
- On the far side of the bridge, built against the walls of the abandoned city of Gush, is a proper shanty town. Eyes peer balefully at the Güber as it floats past. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD can't leave this place without improving it at least a little bit. He uses his stone-shaping abilities to form igloo-like shelters like blisters on the bridge. The Spider-Kids weave hammocks. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson activates his cold iron cufflinks and becomes Coalminer Dan again. After a brief explanation of what he's meant to do, Dan goes around handing out food to the needy. He gets a backstory bonus, donchaknow. (50 exp)
- There's a fat man here who chats to Dan for a while. Despite being a fatty in a camp that's mostly full of undernourished people, he doesn't seem to be a demon. (50 exp)
- He says he bought food from demons for obols and it made him fat. He swears. A swift and furtive check of his tent brings up fuck all. He's apparently telling the truth? (50 exp)
- Leaving that potential mystery for another time, the party move off in their floating car. They're going to be cutting it fine if they want to get to Pembrooktonshire in time! (50 exp)
--- An Unorthodox Encounter
- As the Guber continues along the road north, they see a bunch of chanting religious nutcases outside a village ahead! (50 exp)
- Surely not more Denialists? They're everywhere these days! Styx activates the Guber's jumpjets to avoid them, and the car goes sailing over their heads. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson are interested in what's going on here though, so they jump out midair to have a chat. (50 exp)
- It turns out these are Unorthodox Nonanists, not Denialists as they first thought. POWERLAD chats to Alexei, one of the "Holy Tripartite", a group of three priests who travelled all the way here from Russia. (50 exp)
- He finds out a few things. This village is Glasshaw and has a lot of refugees from Gush who converted to Unorthodoxy so they'd be protected. They've even got an angel for detecting witches and demons! (50 exp)
- Not wanting to get mixed up in angel bullshit, POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson decide to leave for now. They wing back to the Guber and let everyone know what's going on. (50 exp)
- Ratimir seethes. These priests must have escaped the purges! It takes a lot of hurried conversation to talk Styx and Ratimir down from bombing the village on the way past. (50 exp)
--- Pembrooktonshire Services 10 miles on left
- The car continues onwards. They travel through Cound whose guardhouse still flickers with white fire. People gaze furtively at the Guber from ruined doorways as it goes past unmolested. (50 exp)
- It's getting late by the time the party spots the off-ramp to Pembrooktonshire. They pull off the thin mountain road onto a potholed pass that heads up to the Pembrooktonshire plateau. (50 exp)
- The Guber crests the rise and passes by Oshregaal's place. Raucous music and laughter can be heard from inside, the flickering neon lights illuminate a few passed-out partiers out the front entrance. (50 exp)
- The Spider-Kids immediately jump out. House party?! Count them in! The others continue on past, aiming for the partially ruined house POWERLAD's used as a rest stop plenty of times before. (50 exp)
- They drive through what remains of the town. Pale flame still flickers in the ruins, and it's obvious that it's been picked over for house party supplies many times in the past few months. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD's usual place is mercifully untouched. It'll do for the night! The party park up and plan for tomorrow. A hard day's drive and they'll be at Dwimmermount by tomorrow evening! (50 exp)
- Holed up in a house in a town destroyed by an evil Santa Claus, listening to the distant sound of a demon's house party, the group plans for the upcoming trip to a mysterious mountain controlled by angels. Just another day in the end times! (50 exp)
Total: 4150 exp

Misc:
- Ace Attorney bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations 
bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser 
bonus (50 exp)
- Balls tot he Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions 
bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles 
bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy 
bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape 
bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue 
bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter 
bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision 
bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife 
bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation 
bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright 
bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay 
bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium 
bonus (50 exp)
- Schindler's 
bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party 
bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOOoOooOooky 
bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter 
bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Timothy / Spider-Kids - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Timothy / Spider-Kids - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Charles, Timothy - 100 exp ea.)
- Chippo Man bonus (Carter*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus plus missed last time (James, Kitty, Charles, Timothy - 500 exp ea.)

Active Businesses:
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1020sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1084sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10410sp. (Sir Robyn)
Rumours:

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 7 Muscle Wizard: 111400 (Level up at 144000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 9 (-45% exp)--- Andromeda, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3304 (Level up at 4500)
---- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 7 (-35% exp)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Elf (Alpdrucke): 52895 (Level up at 96000)-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
--- Styx's minions, Level 0 Goblin Buddies
- Timothy / Spider Squad, 

Absent or Retired:
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 60599 (Level up at 72000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 49864 (Level up at 56000)
 
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Suzanne / Dumbledorris2, Level 2 Inheritor: 3402 (Level up at 4500)
- Ollie / Synthia,
 Level 5 Inheritor: 21687 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
- Elias / Raivo, Level 1 Barbarian: 938 (Level up at 2000) 
- Tom / Hacker's Halberdiers, Level 3 Extras: 5598 (Level up at 6000)
- Andrea / Marjorie, Level 1 Halfling: 1111 (Level up at 2000)
- Fraser / 
Mori, Level 5 Elf (Worriganger): 24025 (Level up at 48000) 
- Issy / Sturdy,
 Level 2 Dwarf: 3596 (Level up at 4400)  
The Dwarfs
--- Randy, Level 4 Hench-Dwarf: 9884 (Level up at 17600)--- Gav, Level 0 Inclusion 
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Monday, 4 June 2018

Session 183 - The Gang Hosts a Perfectly Good Dinner Party

After a month or so hanging around Moondin, the Boat Festival Mystery seems to be more or less solved! Or at least, solved enough that cleaning up can be left in the hands of the authorities.

Galaxy Johnson steals his dead lover's heart.
POWERLAD takes his kids on a day trip.
Styx disrupts the taxi industry.
Sir Robyn finds a breach of contract.
Dumbledorris offends almost everyone.



Massive shoutout again to Carter who put together these sick as hell hot-swappable rune boards!





Charles even gives a diagram of their use because he's SO STOKED





Session 183 - The Gang Hosts a Perfectly Good Dinner Party

Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 28 March, 1601
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

New Backstory:
- Styx fell out with his podsister for killing the gobin guy she liked for his cloak. As an apology, he gave her the cloak. (Gain a good friend in the town or city of your choice, one use)
- Coalminer Dan was trapped in a cave-in long before he was ever infected with Galaxy Johnson. He shared his food (a rat) with those who were most in need while they awaited rescue. (When eating to heal, people gain double HP from food you give them)

Treasure and Equipment:
- Arach-Nacha's engagement torc (1010sp)
- Some spare robes
- 3 jars of the flora-destroying omnipoison v1.0
Total: 1010 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- A pile of grubs (30 exp)
Total: 30 exp

Exploration:
- 1 random encounter (50 exp)
Total: 50 exp

Events:
--- Hungover
- POWERLAD wakes from a horrible dream and a fitful sleep. Was that dream about Galaxy Johnson real? What time did they get to bed? Did they actually go out angel-hunting? Why did they do all the Notcoke again? (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn is asleep, drooling on the cover of a 300 page document outlining a charter for a goblin-run taxi company. Did he write this? (50 exp)


- Styx is annoyingly chirpy this morning, asking around in case anyone's got any bits of angel that they happen to have on them. For experiments, see? (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn groggily grabs a shiny brassy section of angel leg he's been hanging onto for a while and hands it over. Squinting past the headache he finally notices Galaxy Johnson is back! (50 exp)
- There's a slightly awkward reunion. POWERLAD looks guilty, but Galaxy seems to be taking the murder-by-proxy of his betrothed in stride. He insists on going to find the body though. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD wants to help. As long as they're back in time to set up the dinner they're hosting for Japhet & Hirsch, he'll do his best to help. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Styx has persuaded Sir Robyn to assist him in going to have a meeting with the Drakencultists. If they can prove that breach of contract, this Moondin boat race thing is in the bag! (50 exp)
- The groups go their separate ways. POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson (plus Spider-Kids) to find Arach-Nacha's body, Sir Robyn and Styx (plus Styx's goblin minion Stone) to the Drakencult in the centre of town. (50 exp)
--- Galaxy's Quest
- POWERLAD flies Galaxy Johnson over the walls of Moondin and towards a now-familiar copse. The swarm of Spider-Kids can occasionally be seen keeping pace below. (50 exp)
- They set down in the copse and it's as they remembered it, a winch-powered lift that leads down a hole in the ground. (50 exp)



- They descend. POWERLAD by wing, spiders and Galaxy Johnson by scuttling down the moist muddy walls. (50 exp)
- They travel down the tunnel. The floor is covered in patches of fine clear sand, the sort left by the little crystal minion things when they collapse. (50 exp)
- After some time, they reach a portcullis. The winch to open it is on this side, so that's easy. The only issue - when they start winding the winch it dislodges a big pile of grubs! (50 exp)
- The grubs blindly swarm about on the other side of the portcullis and are easily dealt with. A few Magma Beam glyphs later and the things are popping like little juicy popcorns. (50 exp)
- Tinkling, ringing, scraping noises can be heard from the cavern ahead, like glass on stone. Evidently the dragon yet lives! There's also an occasional light rain of the parasitic grubs from above. Lovely. (50 exp)



- The Spider-Kids are sent to scout ahead. They crawl on the walls and ceiling to see if they can see the dragon, and they do! They return very excited. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson casts Locate Object on Arach-Nacha's remains... and finds that they're exactly where they'd assumed - Isen Heisenberg's room. (50 exp)
- Fighting the dragon seems unwise, but of course Galaxy Johnson can climb through shadows! He drinks some moon water to get to maximum power, then summons his spidery abilities to himself and becomes a silhouette, zapping his way through shadows until he reaches the corridor on the other side. (50 exp)
- He rests on the ceiling as the strange gossamer strands growing from his body float and feel around the area. On the ground, there is subtle tinkling movement from swarms of the crystal shards. (50 exp)
- Too easy. He scuttles across the ceiling to Isen Heisenberg's door, opens it a crack, and appears inside. The spell wears off soon after. (50 exp)
- He senses around the room. Clay in the outline of a huge spider rests on the ground, crystal grows from every surface. (50 exp)
- And in the middle of the clay outline - Arach-Nacha's obol. It's the object that was most precious to her - the torc "ring" that Galaxy Johnson gave her when he proposed. (50 exp)
- ;___; (50 exp)



- He takes the ring, casts Spiderclimb again, and warps back to the entrance. He's not quiet enough on the way though, and the crystal dragon hears him! (50 exp)
- A spray of crystal shards impacts the shadow he's jumping through JUST as he gets away from it! The Spider-Kids leave thick webs behind them as the party flees for the surface! (50 exp)
- They fly and crawl their way back up the elevator shaft, crackling roars behind them. A great escape! (50 exp)
--- Drakencult
- Styx and Sir Robyn, using the authority of Styx's goblin cultist lackey Stone, have blagged their way into the Drakencult zone and are arriving at the central magma lake. (50 exp)
- There's a single guard at the foot of the ivy bridge that goes over the burning lake. He doesn't like Goblins, but he recognises Sir Robyn and one of them is a cultist... (50 exp)
- They are led across the ivy bridge, through the interior of an enormous crystal tree, and out across another ivy bridge to the central island. (50 exp)
- The usual two leaders are here. With the current chaos and murders and all the rest, the cult leadership on the island is down to just Garlock the Arch-Priest and Brandon the Dwarven Magma Priest. (50 exp)
- Styx has a simple proposition - an alliance with the Goblins. As motile vegetables with an insanely quick reproduction rates, Goblins are surely the perfect anti-Dead army! (50 exp)
- In return he asks only that Ninhursag's cult help fix the Drudge Wastes. The goblins have lived in that polluted wasteland for longer than they can remember. It's time to bring it back to life! (50 exp)
- Garlock mentions that he's been thinking of replacing Sylvia Flora as the leader of the Tangled Drakencult. And now a Goblin, an actual plant, comes to him? It's perfect! (50 exp)
- Styx starts to accept... then realises Garlock is staring past him. At Stone. The goblin buddy who's been inducted into the Cult of Ninhursag. (50 exp)
- Stone is immediately "YES! YES NOW I WILL BE THE MASTER! WAHAHAHAHAH!" before Styx's stare puts him in his place. He still accepts though. (50 exp)
- The main issue - Sylvia is still the leader of the Tangled Drakencult. She's still got a closer bond with the dragon, so she needs to revoke her priestesshood herself before a new priest can be ordained. (50 exp)
- Lastly - Garlock and Brandon are invited to the dinner with the demons later. They have great matters to discuss... matters that involve a certain breach of a certain contract. If Sir Robyn's got this right, they've got a case to kick the boat race out of town! (50 exp)
- The priests accept. They'll be there. Styx, Stone and Sir Robyn take their leave, they need to get ready for the dinner party! (50 exp)
--- Hipster Fine Dining
- It's decided that the venue for the fancy dinner party will be Sir Robyn's "fast food" joint that sells drugs and is also a hospital. Blood Honey Healing 4 U is an... interesting choice of venue, but they tart it up a bit. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD, Sir Robyn, and the Spider-Kids get back to find that a bunch of tables have been put together and a tablecloth put over the whole thing. It looks better than one might expect, but still clearly has that drug McDonalds vibe. (50 exp)



- Styx takes the Goblin Uber (now named Güber) to pick up the demons. (50 exp) 


- Japhet & Hirsch arrive with wine and flowers. Hirsch is somewhat upset at the classlessness of the venue, but Japhet shooshes him. (50 exp)


- They sit down and Sir Robyn starts bringing around some stimulant aperitifs. Pleasantries are being exchanged when hurrah! Garlock and Magnus from the Drakencult show up! How lovely! (50 exp)
- There's a tense conversation when Styx confronts the intense anti-Goblin sentiments of the drakencultists, which leads to him being repelled into the kitchen by a Repel Plants glyph. (50 exp)
- There's almost another blowup when Hirsch notices that one of the people behind the fast drug counter is none other than Dumbledorris! That fiend that ruined his dinner party! Some quick-talking distracts him from his ire. (50 exp)
- With those potential crises dealt with, the real discussion opens up. POWERLAD thanks everyone for coming to this dinner. It's a landmark moment in the Moondin crisis! (50 exp)
- They speak of the Boat Festival, and all agree that they'd prefer it was gone. Japhet & Hirsch because they're bored with it and worried about what it's distracting from, the Drakencult because it's what precipitated the situation of intra-cult struggles and murders. (50 exp)
- With all agreed, Sir Robyn whips out the key to all this - the Boat Festival contract. If they can find a breach, the offending party will find themselves covered with sticky glue and everyone else will be free to evict the organisers from the city. (50 exp)
- To that end, Japhet supplies the locations of the festival organisers' homes to the Drakencult to assist them in clearing the demons out when the breach of contract is discovered. (50 exp)



- The crux of the case - Christina Breaker, when she became a huge crystal dragon, disrupted the race that day and prevented it from running. This is a clear breach of the clause that no outsider may interfere with the good running of the boat race! (50 exp)
- Everyone looks around at each other in satisfaction. They've solved it! They've solved the Moondin Boat Festival problem! Hurrah! (50 exp)


- Or so they think. A voice pipes up from the counter. "Hey, isn't it POWERLAD's fault for setting the dragon off on its rampage in the first place?" (50 exp)
- It's Dumbledorris. She and Sir Robyn embark on a DRAMATIC LEGAL BATTLE while everyone else tries to stop her from muddying the waters of this fairly simple legal case! Oh no! (50 exp)



- While that goes on, Styx takes his Ereshkigal worshipper goblin to Andromeda to get him more dragon powers. It works! The goblin cackles in glee! (50 exp)
- Back at the dinner, Dumbledorris has been talked down from arguing for her blame-shifting alterations. Sir Robyn takes the final formal legal complaint and puts it in writing to be lodged in the morning.
- Japhet & Hirsch have succumbed to Sir Robyn's good good drugs, mostly because Japhet refuses to eject the toxins from his system and it keeps edging over into Hirsch. They take their leave. (50 exp)
- All in all, a perfectly lovely dinner party! The Moondin Boat Festival crisis seems to be more or less solved! And nobody managed to mortally offend Hirsch. (50 exp)
- Plans turn to next steps - maybe a return to Dwimmermount to find out what's going on up there? Find out what's up with Sylvia Flora? More distracting dinner parties? Try to help in the war against the Dead? Find out next time! (50 exp)
Total: 2900 exp

Misc:
- Ace Attorney bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
Total: 750 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Craft Chaos bonus (Carter - 500 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Carter*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Hummous Hero bonus (Timothy - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Timothy, Charles, Suzanne - 500 exp ea.)

Active Businesses:
- Honey Healing. Safe. 1084sp. (Bertha)
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1020sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10410sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
- It's revolution! The Fated Queen has been ousted from her throne! Her evil and heretical doctrine is no more!
- The beams that blast from Fate are identical to the rays of light that blast down from above! Battlefortress Fate is an engine of Heaven's will!
- Ereshkigal is walking straight past the Barrowmaze and attacking the great Fate tentacle! It's ignoring the war against the Dead entirely!
- Magnus Grossman was murdered! I saw a black winged shape fly into his manse and fly out with his corpse!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 7 Muscle Wizard: 109441 (Level up at 144000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 9 (-45% exp)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 60599 (Level up at 72000)
--- Spider Squad, Level 2 Spider Extras: 1688 (Level up at 3000)*DING!* +1d12 HP! +Named Spider!
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Elf (Alpdrucke): 49971 (Level up at 96000) 
--- Styx's minions, Level 0 Goblin Buddies- Suzanne / Dumbledorris2, Level 2 Inheritor: 3402 (Level up at 4500)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Mutation Capacity! +2 Meat Points!

Absent or Retired:




- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 49864 (Level up at 56000) 
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 25838 (Level up at 48000)
  
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 21687 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
- Elias / Raivo, Level 1 Barbarian: 938 (Level up at 2000) 
- Tom / Hacker's Halberdiers, Level 3 Extras: 5598 (Level up at 6000)
- Andrea / Marjorie, Level 1 Halfling: 1111 (Level up at 2000)
- Fraser / Mori, Level 5 Elf (Worriganger): 24025 (Level up at 48000) - Issy / Sturdy, Level 2 Dwarf: 3596 (Level up at 4400)  
The Dwarfs
--- Randy, Level 4 Hench-Dwarf: 9884 (Level up at 17600)--- Gav, Level 0 Inclusion 
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Tuesday, 29 May 2018

Session 182 - The Gang Ruins a Perfectly Good Dinner Party

Finally getting this out after that loong weekend!
This session featured many courtesans, a most disastrous dinner party, litres of blood, and very large bags of fantasy cocaine.

POWERLAD punches one zombie.
Sir Robyn gets his kids hooked on drugs.
Carrie Meleste brings the party.
Ratimir tries his best to save a life.
Styx gets a new ride.
Dumbledorris is torn a new one.

A big note:
See the attached story from Charles to find out what Galaxy's been up to in the mean time! It's great!

And we have the next excerpt from a POWERLAD novel which is my favourite gimmick of the moment.
 
"I can use my plant powers to make all sorts of things grow," said Sylvia, her leaves flushing an autumnal crimson, "In fact, there seems to be a tree growing in your trousers right now, POWERLAD."POWERLAD reached out and took Sylvia by the branch "That's no tree."- From POWERLAD: In the Wings of the Dragon


See you tonight!



Session 182 - The Gang Ruins a Perfectly Good Dinner Party

Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 24 March, 1601
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:
- Dumbledorris, an outlaw wizard with a "micro dragon" (aka iguana) familiar.
- Dumbledorris 2.0... you'll see.

New Backstory:
- Carrie Meleste knew Styx in the past. Seeing him torture his goblin minions turned her off torture forever, starting her on the path to being a dominatrix instead of a torturer and saving her soul. (+2 to Saves vs Chaos when Styx is around)
- Styx lost an argument with Carrie over a choice he made - whether it was necessary to torture a prisoner quite that much. (When Styx fails a save, Carrie automatically passes her next save)

Treasure and Equipment:
Total: 0 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- A single solitary zombie (10 exp)
Total: 10 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the the Eye-Tower of Japhet and Hirsch (300 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Events:
--- A few days ago
- Sir Robyn is buying a skull mask. It's a Death Day. With a mask on, he'll legally be a skeleton. (50 exp)
- Suddenly there is a blaring from the huge angel constructs in the sky. A rising-falling wail like an air raid siren. The angels are speaking, and only Sir Robyn knows what they're saying! (50 exp)
- "-- Impact One Imminent --" is all they say, repeating it and relaying it across the country. (50 exp)
- Later that day, when whatever northern event happens to create the great booming and gale-force winds and the blood red glow in the evening sky, the sirens wind down. (50 exp)
- There's a brief period of deep bass singing before they go quiet again. "-- REPORT: Strike on target. Partial Damage to Target. Unexpected Outcome - Prophecy Confirmed. Trumpet Sounded. REQUEST: Confirm Second Strike. --" (50 exp)
--- Return to the library
- The Library of Moondin, morning, Bertha and Carrie Meleste are dealing with Sir Robyn in a skull mask who still thinks it's Death Day and he's legally a skeleton.


- POWERLAD and Styx arrive from their recent adventures, carrying the drug demon Julgoor's magic drug lamp and stories of a crystal dragon. (50 exp)
- Julgoor is extremely grateful! He really does owe them a favour. Sir Robyn, talked down from skeleton hijinks, realises that this is a business opportunity! (50 exp)
- He asks Julgoor if he wants to get in on Blood Honey Healing 4 U, the rapid drug delivery and takeaway service that he runs. Julgoor jumps at the opportunity! What a perfect fit! (50 exp)
- Styx sends his goblin minions to get more dragon powers. They each listen to sermons. One gains the Eyes of Ninhursag - heartbeat vision - while the other gains the Eyes of Ereshkigal - entropy vision. Weird stuff. (50 exp)
--- To boat race or not to boat race
- POWERLAD lets everyone know that he's organised the dinner party with the conjoined demons Japhet & Hirsch for this evening, so maybe they spend the day at the boat race? (50 exp)
- The others agree, so they head for the start line. The mood in the town is fairly subdued, everyone's talking about the fucking CRYSTAL DRAGON that rampaged through town yesterday. Were the angels warning them about it?! Opinions differ. (50 exp)
- They reach the gazebo that marks the starting line of the boat race, and Sir Robyn realises that they'll lose all their spells today if they join in. Possibly unwise since it's a demon's dinner party later. (50 exp)
- They decide not to race today in the end. The party cheers on the teams then departs. Sir Robyn laments that he can't use his Familiars to rig the race without drawing the demons' ire. (50 exp)
--- A perfectly lovely dinner party
- That evening, at the appointed time, the party heads towards the North Tower where Japhet & Hirsch live. (50 exp)
- On the way, Carrie Meleste picks up some exotic fruits and some exotic courtesans. She doesn't know what the demons will be into so she brings along a woman, a man, and an androgyne to cover all bases. (50 exp)
- The party arrive at the place to find a tall octagonal tower wreathed in purple fog. On every wall on every story, a large carved stone eye peers out. This isn't the North Tower that used to be here... (50 exp)


- There is a channel through the fog leading through the streets to the front doors. Very helpful. One of the doors is golden, the other pearlescent. Naturally. (50 exp)
- The doors are opened by some tall tall birds. Coppery legs, steely beaks, a feathered body. They look like storks or, perhaps, ibises. (50 exp)



- "Ahh, you made it! Come in!" says Japhet. They're seated on a wide throne at one end of a long banquet table. More of the huge birds wait at attention at a drinks table. Sir Robyn tells his scared spider kids that sometimes birds are nice. (50 exp)


- Seeing that there are kids in attendance, Japhet & Hirsch clap their hands and make the birds bring out a kids table. Very civilised. (50 exp)
- Ratimir attempts to exhort the huge birds into revolutionary fervour... and draws only withering glares. (50 exp)
- Nobody has sat down yet. Hirsch is utterly disgusted at the party's behaviour, and at POWERLAD for bringing the fucking rabble in here. He grumbles as much before Japhet hushes him. (50 exp)
- Carrie Meleste to the rescue! She sends forth her high class courtesans with their baskets of exotic fruits, who lie on the table and garnish themselves. What a show! How delightful! (50 exp)
- Carrie's weird slaves form a chair for her... and their weird sense of pride at their degradation makes Hirsch happy. A potent melange of lust and pride... a very strange texture but not unpleasant. He's mollified. (50 exp)
- With everyone settled down, POWERLAD sits at the head of the table and everyone else seats themselves. The spider kids and the rats swarm at the kids table. The birds serve the wine from their beaks. Everything finally feels genteel. (50 exp)
--- Wait who invited that chick!?
- New player Suzanne shows up, promptly makes a wizard, and promptly makes a mess of things. Dumbledorris is a wizard with an iguana familiar. She's snuck into the party disguised as one of the servants. Yes, she's inside one of the big birds, piloting it as a giant puppet. It's a wonder nobody's noticed yet. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris totters across to the stairs, unnoticed by the diners, and heads up to the first floor. Sneaky sneaky. (50 exp)
- The room above has a big floating bluebottle jellyfish drifting about, bobbing against the ceiling, trailing blue tendrils. Dumbledorris just kinda stands there as it gets closer. The tentacles wrap around the body of the fake bird, but she's alright inside. (50 exp)





- She uses a periscope to look around and sees a dude in eye-themed armour peering around a doorway. Maybe she'll go see him! (50 exp)
- She drops out of the bird costume's body, rolls across the gap and... rolls right into a whole load of hanging tentacles. The pain is intense, her vision blurs as she begins to black out. Her last view is a big fuckin' rat scampering towards her... (50 exp)
--- Meanwhile, downstairs
- While Dumbledorris has a bad time upstairs, Carrie Meleste's dancers vacate the table and dance against the wall as the main course is served - a single giant crab garnished with rare spices and rich buttery sauce. (50 exp) 
- Everyone else is chatting to the demons Japhet & Hirsch. Or rather, chatting to Japhet. Hirsch is somewhat aloof, even though the dinner party's back on. (50 exp)
- Japhet reveals that they're bored with the Boat Race. They set it up, but there's some sort of scheme afoot that the pair aren't privy to. Hirsch especially feels irritated at being left out. (50 exp)
- They have a copy of the original contract that allowed them into the city. Sir Robyn's all over it. Basically, if someone can discover that there's been a breach of contract in a court of law, Japhet & Hirsch will be free to leave this dumb city. (50 exp)
- They also know where the other demon "Flower Liches" are living. All of them took a place to stay for the duration of this interminable Boat Festival. They're all over the town but Japhet can give directions. (50 exp)
- Asked why they're running the Boat Festival at all, Japhet says that the vampire overlord of the Undead wanted to get the city out of the way so he could follow through on his plan to kill all humans, raise them all as undead, and save the world. (50 exp)
- There is a muffled thump from above and Ratimir's ears prick up! He's up the stairs before anyone can stop him! Hirsch mutters something horrid about rat people and is shushed by Japhet. (50 exp)
--- Egads!
- Ratimir comes back down the stairs, dragging the limp body of Dumbledorris. She's in a bad way, but luckily Sir Robyn's spider kids have some knowledge of First Aid! (50 exp)
- They attempt to stitch up Dumbledorris' wounds and... fail horrendously. One of them manages to tear open an artery, causing a bright red spray of blood to geyser gloriously across the walls, floor and table! (50 exp)



- Hirsch is fucking livid. Japhet is aghast. "That's it! Dinner party is cancelled! Get OUT get OUT!!!" (50 exp) 



- From the pile of blood and guts, stitched together by the webs of demon spiders... a new being is forming. A parody of a human form, absorbing all the blood into it... Dumbledorris 2.0! (50 exp)
- Carrie Meleste pulls the angry demons into line by implying that maybe they're not being good hosts now that something's gone wrong... (50 exp)
- Nevertheless, the dinner's off. Sir Robyn's spiders box up the leftovers, Hirsch glaring at the rudeness, while the new Inheritor slurps up her own blood. (50 exp)
- This is all threatening to blow up again. Hirsch can't stop talking about the RUDENESS and how this was meant to be a NICE DINNER and Japhet is HYPERVENTILATING and the party leaves before they completely blow their top, bundling the confused newborn Inheritor with them! (50 exp)
--- The goblin uber
- Outside, quite conveniently, Styx has shown up on his new rune-powered goblin hovercraft! That's where he's been this whole time! (50 exp)




- Everyone's gets on, except for Sir Robyn who has to walk. As they leave, there are shouts of shock as whatever Dumbledorris' iguana familiar turned into is discovered. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD, seeing Sir Robyn left behind because Styx is being a dick to him, agrees to fly him home.
- They all end up back at Blood Honey Healing 4 U. Sir Robyn wants to keep the party going and brings out a bunch of Notcoke! Party time! (50 exp)
- Styx decides to try and build some sort of light-shooting cannon instead. He asks around for whether anyone's got an angel eye? They're spherical, right? (50 exp)
- Everybody else is ON COKE and decide it is VERY IMPORTANT that they all go FIND AN ANGEL and HUNT IT DOWN! (50 exp)
--- Not an angel
- Our coked up heroes leave the safety of the town's walls. The thick evening Corpse Fog is cloying. In the distance, a god beam zaps down from the sky above. No angels as far as they can tell but... (50 exp)
- Oh is that the sound of a zombie!? BETTER KILL IT! The undead fiend stumbles from the bushes and is faced by POWERLAD, who punches himself in the face! Bummer! (50 exp)
- Rat swarms and spider swarms fail to stop it as it blunders along. Styx and Dumbledorris2 team attack it and... similarly fail to make a dent. It's embarrassing. (50 exp)
- Finally POWERLAD gets his head in the game and wrecks it with a Magic Missile Punch. Phew! (50 exp)
- The Notcoke's wearing off so the gang head back into the city. What an adventure this has been! Unfortunately several people in the party find they've developed a taste for that good white powder... (50 exp)
Total: 2850 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Ace Attorney bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Master of Disguise bonus (50 exp)
- Medical Malpractice bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Say That bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Timothy - 100 exp ea.)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Kitty, Charles - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Carter*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Hummous Hero bonus (Andy - 100 exp)
- Charcuterie Champion bonus (Andy - 500 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Andy, Timothy, Kitty - 500 exp ea.)
- An extra bonus for that fucking rad rune board thing for Carter (Carter - 500 exp)
- Addictive bonus (POWERLAD, spider kids - 100 exp ea.)
- Death's Witness bonus (pretty much everyone - 100 exp)
- An Hero bonus (Dumbledorris - 200 exp)
- Died in your First Session bonus (Dumbledorris - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Dumbledorris - 500 exp)
- Teamkilled bonus (Dumbledorris - 500 exp)

Active Businesses:
- Honey Healing. Safe. 1084sp. (Bertha)
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1020sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10410sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Dumbledorris, accidentally ripped open by friendly spiders who were just trying to help.

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 7 Muscle Wizard: 108767 (Level up at 144000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 9 (-45% exp)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 58937 (Level up at 72000)
--- Spider Squad, Level 1 Spider Extras: 1257 (Level up at 1500) 
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 49864 (Level up at 56000) 
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Carter / Styx, Level 5 Goblin: 26344 (Level up at 32000)--- Styx's minions, Level 0 Goblin Buddies
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 25838 (Level up at 48000)
 
- Susan / Dumbledorris, Level 1 Magic User
*DECEASED*
- Susan / Dumbledorris2, Level 1 Inheritor: 2040 (Level up at 2250)

Absent or Retired:
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Elf (Alpdrucke): 48409 (Level up at 96000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 21687 (Level up at 36000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
- Elias / Raivo, Level 1 Barbarian: 938 (Level up at 2000) 
- Tom / Hacker's Halberdiers, Level 3 Extras: 5598 (Level up at 6000)
- Andrea / Marjorie, Level 1 Halfling: 1111 (Level up at 2000)
- Fraser / 
Mori, Level 5 Elf (Worriganger): 24025 (Level up at 48000) 
- Issy / Sturdy,
 Level 2 Dwarf: 3596 (Level up at 4400)  
The Dwarfs
--- Randy, Level 4 Hench-Dwarf: 9884 (Level up at 17600)--- Gav, Level 0 Inclusion 
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)


- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)