Monday, 28 August 2017

Session 150 - Tall Tales of the Stone Men

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Tom shows us Spicy Mac's new billboard just outside of Helix

​- I doodle the second mission into the statue barrow

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- I also doodle the regenerating skeleton. It's been slow at work!

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- Charles doodles as he remembrances

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- And finally, Charles bones alone!

Session 150 - Tall Tales of the Stone Men

Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 2 September, 1600
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:- Spicy Mac, a charming and tight-fisted Halfling spice merchant

New Backstory:- Carrie Meleste was married once. It was during one wild night in Moondin's red light district, they were married by a guy dressed as a famous bard, it was a great night. While it was technically for love, that love was fleeting, and they annulled the marriage soon after. What a night! (+1 Wisdom)
Enemies Defeated:
- A sapphire-browed skeleton (50 exp)
- 8 skeletons, killed in their beds (80 exp)
Total: 130 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Sapphire shards of a skeleton gem (200 exp)
- Two silver bracelets, finely crafted and of ancient make (1000 exp)
- A silver locket of expert craftmanship (300 exp)
- Diamond-studded gold ring (4000 exp)
Total: 5500 exp

Exploration:- Explored 10 dungeon rooms (200 exp)- Unsealed a barrow (50 exp)
- Found 2 secret doors (100 exp)
- 2 Wandering Monsters encountered (100 exp)
Total: 450 exp

- We begin, as will become customary, in Helix. As the party trickle in they check out the local shops and buy a few knickknacks. New among them is Spicy Mac, a mercantile Halfling, who they agree to let join their crew. (50 exp)
- Nix is checking out the lust-faced Shield of Avarice she found last session. The push-in coin slot seems to only take silvers, so she loads it up with silver pieces and pushes it in. (50 exp)
- Looks like the shield becomes preternaturally good at blocking when loaded up with coins. Neat! Only lasts a few seconds though, you'll need to keep feeding it dat dolla if you want to keep it sweet... (50 exp)
- Carrie and Zena get a missive from their horrible Bone Alone business. Looks like business is booming! Who knew! Their investment gains +16% value to the delight of the investors and the dismay of all good god-fearing folk. (50 exp)
- "My name is Mastibate Pox, and this is my favourite store on the Moonditadel". Quite. (50 exp)
- Chiffon realises that the night of the Full Moon draws near and so his Elvish powers are on the wane, so he grabs the Death Leather armour and somehow pulls the look off. (50 exp)
- With that, the party head off on Grim Charlie's wagon to the Barrowmaze, seeing some zombies wandering around on the way. The other riders take potshots at them as the wagon rumbles past. (50 exp)
- When the wagon reaches the black obelisk near the entrance to the Barrowmaze, the party hop off. POWERLAD takes the opportunity to Read Magic on the obelisk. It speaks of the god Nergal (no relation), exalts his Chosen, and says "Life in Death" a bunch. (50 exp)
- The party has a quick discussion and splits in two. Half will go for the Barrowmaze itself, the others will explore the Barrows. (50 exp)
--- Team Mapquest
- POWERLAD, Mugg, Nix, and the cowardly Hargrim head down into the dungeon. It's time to map!!! They are deemed team Mapquest by those above.
- They head down into the antechamber and choose where to go next - south! They boot down a door and head into a room littered with various debris. So far so good. (50 exp)
- But... there's a noise from the corridor. A single skeleton with a blue jewel embedded in its brow looks round the corner. It seems lost, and they beckon it into the room. (50 exp)
- It was an act! It gets its sword out and attacks! Some quick hammering from Mugg puts it down, though its gem continues to glow with a pale light. (50 exp)
- They turn away and... the gem burns blue! The skeleton reforms around the gem, and POWERLAD is stabbed! (50 exp)
- They turn to fight this renewed skeleton. It's killed again, and they stuff its the clearly valuable sapphire into Mugg's bag of peat and start pulverising its bones. (50 exp)
- The powdered bones flow towards the bag, and Mugg feels it churning as the skeleton begins reforming within!
- Enough is enough, and POWERLAD shatters the gem with a hammer. He fucks up, and his hammer shatters, sending shards of sapphire into everyone around! (50 exp)
- The half-formed skeleton collapses, and they scoop up the valuable gem shards. (50 exp)
- The group continue on, through an empty room, and come across a brick wall. Considering the necessity for silence, the bag of peat is used to help demolish the wall quietly. (50 exp)
- A corridor with skull-adorned doors is found. The first contains a non-undead skeleton wearing a couple of valuable bracelets. The second... a skeleton sitting on a stone sofa scratching its pelvis?! (50 exp)
- Gimlass shows up conveniently. (50 exp)
- That skeleton just fucking dies as Nix punches it out. Unfortunately, the skeletons on the bunkbed-like funeral berths animate and start crawling to kill some people! (50 exp)
- The others rush in. Nix collapses the top bunk onto a bottom bunk, crushing one skeleton and stunning the other sleepy skeleton. POWERLAD gets clawed at by a skeleton. (50 exp)
- Gimlass tries to do a similar bunk destruction... and accidentally kills Hargrim who runs into the room in time to get bodied by her clumsy elbow. He dies ignomiously. (50 exp)
- Nix realises she's cut off. Time to fucking RAGE. (50 exp)
- Mugg smashes another bunk and crushes the skeleton below. Team effort! (50 exp)
- The Gimlass tries a piledriver on a skeleton pulling its way from an upper bunk and... fucks up massive. AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! The skeleton pile drives GIMLASS! (50 exp)
- Gimlass is fucked. Her collarbone - the ultimate bone for some reason - is broken. She's going to be fucked for a while. (50 exp)
- Mugg realises that staying near a raging Nix is bad news. She chucks her lantern into the skeletons at the entrance to stagger them, and uses the opportunity to drag Gimlass out of the room! (50 exp)
- Nix hulks out, smashing heads together, kicking skeletons back into fires, and all around wrecking shit. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD does an ULTIMATE PUNCH and wipes out three of the remaining skeletons... then realises Nix is MAXIMUM ANGERY and quietly closes the door. (50 exp)
- Outside the door, Gimlass is holding her hands over her multiple lesions while groaning and moaning. They all hear Nix smashing things and smashing her fists against the door. Soon, the smashing finishes. (50 exp)
- Nix emerges, but there's one last door... and this is team mapquest after all. They leave Gimlass gasping in the corridor and open the door... (50 exp)
- It's fuckloads of rats! Fuck that. (50 exp)
- Dragging Gimlass' moaning nearly-corpse behind them, they reach the surface. They recuperate, and hear some loud yelling in the distance... (50 exp)
--- Team Graverobber
- While Team Mapquest head into the Barrowmaze, team Graverobber cast about for something to loot. They head towards a barrow, but find it's been buried by time. (50 exp)
- Not dissuaded, they check out a nearby barrow with a not-buried sealed door. Sledgehammers and picks at the ready, they hammer into the door... (50 exp)
- An hour later, they're smashed it up a bunch. Great job. (50 exp)
- After a short break and another bunch of smashing... the door is destroyed! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- The group descend the spooky stairs... and find themselves in knee-deep bogwater. Except for Spicy Mac, he's chest height because he's tiny. Carrie Meleste's weird subs wade in too. (50 exp)
- Despite the height disadvantage, Spicy Mac goes around the room poking every single stone in every wall. There are a couple of hollow sounds - secret rooms! Good work! (50 exp)
- One of Carrie's subs breaks down one of the secret walls with a hefty leather godemiché. It collapses into a large oval room. Within is a statue of a hero with a weirdly lumpy sword facing down three stone Filled Men. (50 exp)
- Water flows into the oval room. As everyone discusses what to do, seeing as these statues are clearly going to become mould men when something is triggered. (50 exp)
- As everyone else discusses next steps, they don't notice as Zena wades past with a sledgehammer. (50 exp)
- There is a loud smash! The others look around in horror as they see what Zena has done! An arm of the statue falls to the ground... as the rest of the statue turns towards her. (50 exp)
- Yea they're living statues but not the busking kind. Their stone fists fuck Zena up with some heavy damage. (50 exp)
- Spicy Mac hurriedly rigs a tripwire near the door in the hopes it'll trip one up! Good luck! (50 exp)
- Everyone, Zena included, bails. They vault over the rope at Spicy Mac's warning, and the first statue through the breach falls over. Score! (50 exp)
- Zena hammers its head while its down... to little obvious effect. Spicy Mac dives into the other secret door and hides. Everybody else starts to withdraw to the stairs. (50 exp)
- Zena gets clobbered in the groin and goes down. Luckily Carrie is mid-cast on Heroism. She buffs one of her subservient minions, who holds the line while the others drag Zena from the scene. Amazingly, the minion survives the statues' attacks and escapes! (50 exp)
- Spicy Mac is still behind the secret door, stuck. Luckily someone rammed a coin into the gap in the door so he's not locked in. (50 exp)
- The little room he's in has a low altar and an ossuary. One of the fingerbones in the ossuary is wearing a sick gold ring with diamonds on it. Score! (50 exp)
- He looks around for bugs to Dominate with his Halfling mind control powers, finding a huge centipede. He grabs the coin out of the door, ties it onto the centipede with a sling, and now has some sort of wall-crawling coinipede. (50 exp)
- He makes it slither out the door, past the living statues, and make the coin tap against the inanimate sword-wielding hero statue. The bigger statues stomp off to investigate and Spicy Mac escapes! (50 exp)
- He finds the rest of group recuperating on the surface. Zena is somewhat the worse for wear, but feels better after a break and some food. Phew! (50 exp)
- The group start heading towards another mound, but see a bunch of zombies feasting on recently killed tomb robbers and decide that nooope, maybe they'll try to dig into the statue room from above! That sword looked like loot! (50 exp)
- Digging begins, and since they know the basic underground layout it only takes a couple of hours to dig down to the room from above. They emerge slightly off-course, so dig out a trench that ends above the sword statue. (50 exp)
- Spicy Mac gets lowered down on a rope, mission impossible style. He grabs the sword, tries to swap it with a club Indiana Jones-style and... the Filled Men statues animate! He... cuts the rope?! (50 exp)
- He splashes down into the knee-high water, which is chest-high on him. He dives under the water, scooping up the silver coin from earlier as he does so... (50 exp)
- He's not fast enough! They smash at him with stone fists and one of them pounds into his foot as he swims between them. It hurts but it's ok, and he manages to hobble out to the surface, sword and all! (50 exp)
- They head back to the obelisk and meet up with the dungeon-delve team who are assisting the broken-boned Gimlass into Grim Charlie's wagon. A successful run! (50 exp)
--- Back in Helix
- On the ride back, Spicy Mac regales everyone with his tale of escape and derring-do, naming them "There and Mac Again". Harr harr. (50 exp)
- Back in the town, as most of the party admins at the shops, Spicy Mac pawns off the diamond ring and invests the substantial earnings into his new spice business - Spicy Mac's Spices, and a nice big hand-painted billboard on the road into town. (50 exp)
Total: 3150 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spooky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Touch That bonus (50 exp)
Total: 950 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Spicy Mac - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Tom*2 - 200 exp)
- Hummus Hero bonus (Andy*2 - 200 exp)
- JÜGGMEISTER bonus (Kitty - 500 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Spicy Mac, Gimlass - 100 exp ea.)

Cremation is the only way to prevent the Dead from rising!
- The followers of the Low God Set can speak with serpents!
- The Mongreloids of the Barrowmaze fear the very sight of Man!
- The souls of those who die beneath the black sun are stolen away by demons, their bodies reborn into demonic servitude.

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 348sp. (Zena's Stake: 232sp, Carrie's Stake: 116sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 4000sp.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Hargrim, accidentally murdered by Gimlass' flying foot.
- Gimlass, broken collarbone due to getting John Cena'd by a skeleton (Permanent -1 to all stats, cannot regain HP naturally until fracture heals, recovery time 6-8 weeks)

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 37222 (Level up at 64000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 35457 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 30292 (Level up at 32000)
--- Hargrim, Level 0 Hireling*

Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 16124 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +Saves Improve! +1 to Domination!
- James / Chiffon, Level 2 Elf (Canny Childe): 3257 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell!

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble rolls!

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
*DING!* +1d10 HP! +optional Lorebond!

Absent or Retired:- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Saturday, 19 August 2017

Session 149 - Bugs and Brain-Eaters

Some classic dungeon crawling! How lovely!
I'm actually pretty stoked about having a bit of proper megadungeon play, especially since we've got one or two newbies, so I've gone all in with some extra gimmicks!

This is all a prelude to everyone just running off elsewhere next session, I'm sure.

In the interests of not incentivising actions that will get us kicked out of the venue, after this recap goes out I am officially limiting the Snackbringer bonus to home games only. Ironically this happens just when Kyle starts coming back. It's not targeted I swear!
Now we will have the Jugbringer bonus (buying a jug) and the Chipbringer bonus (graciously sharing hot food).
The Mug House is pretty legit so I don't want to risk it, especially after we strongarmed them into getting the good table back!

Charles is on a roll with the art attacks this week, check it!

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- Charles draws the highlights of the session

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- And Charles also presents a flashback to Mr Zombiemaster getting his skull caved in by POWERLAD's POWERPUNCH.

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- And finally (!) Charles doodles various happenings

Session 149 - Bugs and Brain-Eaters

Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 25 August, 1600
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:- Amar's Cleric, a former thatcher who fell off a roof, landed on his head, and Found God.
Enemies Defeated:
- A whole lot of swarming bugs (100 exp)
- 14 groaning zombies (350 exp)
- A poisonous spider (75 exp)
- 4 Hiroshima-scar shadows (200 exp)
Total: 725 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 257sp (257 exp)
- Silver bracelet (300 sp)
- A runic tablet of apparently very anti-Russian sentiment
- "Death Leather" - banged up leather armour, quality 5
- "Shield of Avarice" - shield with coin slots
Total: 1296 exp

Exploration:- Explored 9 dungeon rooms (180 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)
- 3 Wandering Monsters encountered (150 exp)
Total: 380 exp

- We begin in the village of Helix, which some of the party have been to before. It hosts such base-town marvels as shops, a blacksmith, an inn, and a decrepit wizard's tower. Also here, a new Cleric! (50 exp)
- We learn that every morning, a few hours after sunrise, a guy called Grim Charlie sets off in a wagon to the Barrows. Wannabe tomb robbers take it in together for mutual protection. (50 exp)
- Some delicious admin is had, stocking up on food and torches for the dungeon crawl ahead. It's been a while since people have been able to prepare for a delve so effectively! (50 exp)
- They set off, paying Charlie a silver each, and the wagon jostles its way towards the dungeon. Most of the people in the wagon are already in their own teams, but there's a young guy called Hargrim who's on his own. (50 exp)
- Zena offers to let him tag along with her group for a share of anything they dig up, and he gratefully agrees. (50 exp)
- After an hour or so, the wagon parks up near a black obelisk and everyone gets out. Several groups head directly for the Barrowmaze, while others shoulder shovels and head off amongst the surface Barrows. (50 exp)
- The party head off to main circle of standing stones looming crookedly over the gaping maw into the underworld below. Time to go! (50 exp)
- They slither down the rope into the antechamber of the Barrowmaze. Nix wants to get her map filled out, so they head to the room she got locked in previously. (50 exp)
- It's full of bone dust from all the smashed skeletons, which gets kicked up as they enter! Nix bursts into a coughing fit, which disturbs a bunch of dog-sized glowing scarab-looking beetles in the next room! (50 exp)
- They scuttle angrily, so Zena tries to scare them off with a Beam-Light-Heat glyph. It hits one... and makes them real angry! (50 exp)
- They scuttle across walls and ceiling, chomping at legs and arms to little effect. Nix rips them apart with her bare hands, everyone else stuck back in the corridor just sort of leaves them to it. (50 exp)
- Zena kicks one into the fire and their morale breaks, sending them scuttling back into their little room. (50 exp)
- There's a hive of the things in there, but it's a dead end so Nix decides to just mark it on the map and let them live in peace. (50 exp)
- Another corridor is taken, with several doors and a portcullis visible. The end of the hallway is bricked up. Zena pushes open a heavy door and sees a just-regular-dead skeleton holding a bag (50 exp)
- She checks the walls and ceiling as she walks over to inspect the skeleton... but she didn't check the back of the door!! Turns out it was heavy because there was a spider on it! (50 exp)
- It jumps at Zena and gets its fangs in her! She falls to the ground, frothing from the mouth, poison flowing through her veins! (50 exp)
- Nix runs in and manages to drag the spider off into some sort of arachnid full nelson, shanking it with her knife as she does so! (50 exp)
- It soon dies, and POWERLAD and the Cleric rush in to drag Zena out. She tries to lie still to prevent the poison from spreading too far into her body. (50 exp)
- They get her out of the dungeon and haul her back to the wagon. After an hour or so (and some d30 usage), the poison finally subsides from her veins. (50 exp)
- There's still a little while until the wagon heads back to town, so they head back in for some light exploration before the end of the day. (50 exp)
- Travelling back to the previously abandoned hall, it's time to check out what's in the empty room behind the portcullis! Nix hefts it easily, and the Cleric jams it open with an iron spike. (50 exp)
- Suspecting secret doors, Nix goes around tapping all the walls with a hammer. Lo and behold, one place actually sounds more hollow! (50 exp)
- One smashed-open secret door later and... it's a room with burial alcoves in it! Burial alcoves and zombies. They don't attack, instead grunting and moaning in a circle. (50 exp)
- The Cleric tosses an oil flask and Zena fire beams it midair, showering the zombies with flame! Nix and POWERLAD dash in to finish off the rest. (50 exp)
- Hargrim has been standing back the whole time and simply guards the portcullis. What a great help. (50 exp)
- Soon the zombies are dead, mostly from punches, and the party begins looting the alcoves. They're only at it for a few minutes when some moaning and groaning sounds can be heard getting closer! (50 exp)
- It's more zombies, on their way to the AA meeting that the party so rudely interrupted! Nix removes the iron spike keeping the gate open and it comes crashing down. (50 exp)
- It's easy to electro-polearm them down when they're all mindlessly stuck behind a gate. The rest of the alcoves are searched while the zombie horde is methodically destroyed. (50 exp)
- Nix re-lifts the portcullis and the group continue exploring. Mysteriously, the next door they were going to be searching blasts off its hinges into the corridor! (50 exp)
- Zena investigates, pokes her head into the room and sees HORROR! It's her family getting murdered by demons over and over! Her nightmares are REAL! (50 exp)
- As Zena breaks down in terror, Hargrim nopes the fuck out. (50 exp)
- Nix walks over Zena and just ignores the fire and cackling Rasputin-esque man who destroyed her own family, grabbing the runic tablet from the table in the room and leaving muttering about gypsy magic. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD wants to read the tablet. He does so and the magic floods into his mind.. giving him a terrible phobia of... RUSSIANS! Yes, POWERLAD is scared of the Russians now. (50 exp)
- Using tools and runes, the bricked up wall at the end of the corridor is broken down. It's the last place in this corridor to explore! Inside are burial alcoves (nice), some cool half-skull and frescoes, and some troubling Hiroshima shadows on the walls. (50 exp)
- Seeing that the shadows waver as people move through the room, Zena investigates. With her electric halberd. The shadow gets electrocuted! It is indeed a baddie! (50 exp)
- They slide over surfaces, tearing at the party's shadows! Zena and POWERLAD are hit and their strength is begins to be drained away! (50 exp)
- Turns out both Nix and POWERLAD have magic fists and they lay into the shadows, POWERLAD finding the surface of the shadow to be oddly spongy and Nix miming strangling motions so that her own shadow strangles the creature. (50 exp)
- The Cleric gets thrown a carved antler dagger, magical enough to stab ghosts it seems, and shanks the one on the floor in front of him. It's effective! (50 exp)
- Soon the shadow creatures are defeated, and a weakened Zena whose own shadow is clearly limping eyes up the alcoves in the room. (50 exp)
- There's no time to search everything before the wagon goes, but there are some obvious choice pieces of loot in here. A shield and a suit of leather armour are grabbed and the team moves on out! (50 exp)
- The leather armour looks like it's barely hanging together from all the battle damage, and the shield has a lustful face and a coin push-in thing like when you're putting money into a pool table (50 exp)
- Luckily enough, Hargrim is waiting at the top of the entry pit and helps the party out. Zena berates him for cowardice, and "rewards" him with a couple of grimy silver pieces and some bone dust. He is nevertheless grateful. (50 exp)
- With only a few turns to spare, the group get back to the wagon and head back to town. An eventful trip! (50 exp)
Total: 2150 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Poison is OP bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Spooky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 700 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Chipbringer bonus (Amar, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer bonus (Fraser - 100 exp)

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 300sp. (Zena's Stake: 200sp, Carrie's Stake: 100sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None! But Zena's going to need to sleep off all that stat damage.
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 35749 (Level up at 64000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 33584 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 28819 (Level up at 32000)
--- Hargrim, Level 0 Hireling
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

Absent or Retired:- James / Chiffon, Level 1 Elf (Canny Childe): 1184 (Level up at 3000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 1 Fighter: 1084 (Level up at 2000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 1 Dwarf: 884 (Level up at 2200)
- Tom / Tom's Next Character: +1684 exp
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- Andy / Carrie Meleste, 
Level 5 Cleric: 14651 (Level up at 28000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Monday, 14 August 2017

Session 148 - Devour the Flesh

A new journey embarked upon! With a number of new characters and a number of new deaths!

Since we basically teleported to a dungeon in order to give the newbie a taste of classic dungeoncrawling, I didn't get a chance to dump a bunch of lore garbage and general info. Something I shall now rectify by dumping lore garbage upon your doorstep.

Behold some things.
(This may also involve some minor retcons)

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Finally, check out this glorious map of the Barrows.
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The dungeon entrance is at Barrow 12. The other barrows are in various states, but you'll have to walk closer to check them out.
Each hex is 50 metres across, so that should give you some idea of the sheer scale of the dungeon beneath!

Alright, that's enough back-of-house admin for now. On with the things!
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- Ollie shows us what Lulu looks like after 50 years of slaughtering demons - a badass grandma.
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- I doodle Jack's skinless suicide

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- Charles draws "
Zena and Nyx keep guard while the others loot an undisturbed mound in the Barrowmaze"

Oh yea, one last thing. The florid description of James' new Elf.
Canny Childe: Diminutive starry-eyed archaics of cherubic seeming. Like unto a child of ten or eleven years in aspect but with a wry glance and a knowingness beyond their apparent youth, the Canny parasitise human dwellings where they can creep about seeking the glyphs and sigils of arcane witchery and abuse the trust they elicit in their hosts to worm their way into vaults of secret gramarye.
It's coming up on the full moon soon where Elvish powers start to wane, so be prepared for diminished power in the coming days.

Session 148 - Devour the Flesh

Campaign Date:
Friday, 20 August, 1660
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:- Dr Maybe, a self-proclaimed Chaosmancer who can't not chaos burst his spells
- Jack, Rake's long-lost daughter with a similar predilection towards touching stuff
- Mugg, a peat cutter turned Fighter who turned up just in time to eat a dude
- Gimlass the Brave, a Dwarven huntress who left just in time to not eat a dude
- Chiffon, artistic Canny Childe Elf obsessed with avante-garde fashion
New Backstory:
- Jack Hacker once had to use her shirt to hold a door closed and trap something inside. (Once per session, something you've plausibly trapped won't escape this session)
- Nix Neckbiter scared strangers away from her tribe's camp by being SUPER FIERCE (+1 Strength)

Enemies Defeated:- 4 tree-ghouls (100 exp)
- 4 skeletons (40 exp)
Total: 140 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 4 ghoul skins (200 exp)
- Envenomed ghoul claws
- A vial of deadly poison
- 1066sp, 300cp (1096 exp)
Total: 1296 exp

Exploration:- Many miles of travel (300 exp)
- 2 random encounters (100 exp)
- First party to enter Necropolis (500 exp)
- First party to enter the Bone Spire of Corpulus Thrall (100 exp)
- First party to enter the Barrowmaze (100 exp)
- Explored 4 dungeon rooms (80 exp)
Total: 1180 exp

- Things are getting weird in Moondin. Booming roars from the woods, flying man-shapes seen against the full moon, wood-masked Elves darting through the trees in great numbers, and magic is getting unreliable across the board. (50 exp)
- A good time to leave, then! The party have a last chat with the much improved Castigate Pox, who seems to have taken on a little of Rake's personality during his time as his armour. (50 exp)
- The party head out, meeting new arrivals Dr Maybe and Chiffon on the road out of town. (50 exp)
- Also in tow, POWERLAD's wife Bertha who has spent a lot of time in Moondin's library. She's brought a couple of books with her, with a view to becoming a professional medical illustrator. (50 exp)
- Elsewhere, Rake's successor Jack Hacker makes her way towards Necropolis by way of Fortress-City Fate. She doesn't go into Fate, but does get a look at the new transit line into the city on her way past. (50 exp)
- On the road between Moondin and Necropolis, the see a merchant and his guards under attack by whooping tree-ghouls aka stinky monkeys aka "Stunkies". (50 exp)
- Zena, who happened to be marching ahead at the time, is the first to notice the situation! She sprints forward to help the beleaguered guards as their boss crawls into his own cart. (50 exp)
- She cries out that she's here to help, the guards are relieved and emboldened! (50 exp)
- The ghouls jump around raking the air with their yellowed fluid-dripping claws, but despite being in their home forest terrain they do fuck all (50 exp)
- Zena catches one mid-air as it leaps and cleaves through into another which screams in anger and pain! (50 exp)
- It rakes the air with its claws in retaliation and manages to hit Zena! It's just a scratch, but numbness begins to set in around the wound. (50 exp)
- By this point, the rest of the party has caught up! Most stack up at a distance with crossbows and rune-beams, but POWERLAD rushes in! (50 exp)
- One of the guards is in trouble so POWERLAD goes into overdrive, smashing his fist through a tree and sending the stake-like splinters smashing into two of the ghouls! (50 exp)
- They die instantly, earning Bertha's love and admiration all over again. (50 exp)
-  Dr Maybe casts Reduce... but intentionally fucks up the casting. Chaos Burst! The ghoul he was casting at is reduced to a speck of dust... but only in Dr Maybe's mind. (50 exp)
- Zena pushes through the pain and drives her polearm through the last ghoul's chest, embedding it into the wagon. She passes out from the toxin as yellow bile sprays out around her. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD, realising that his trunk-punch has left a massive semicircular breach in the tree, holds it up "casually". (50 exp)
- Chiffon skins the ghouls in order to make some trendy clothing at some point down the line. It's gross, and difficult due to the goopy yellow paralysis blood. (50 exp)
- Reality shifts and it turns out the merchant and guards are new party members who just showed up! (50 exp)
- Mugg the Fighter and Gimlass the barely-clothed Dwarf are here now. Mugg has never played before, Gimlass is played by a player long thought lost. They join the party! How convenient! (50 exp)
- The party reach Necropolis, which was called Drist fifty years ago. It's Necromancer central, complete with a spire of skeletons reaching towards the sky in the centre. (50 exp)
- Jack Hacker is here! She flogs some Necromantic grimoires to a passer-by who buys them gladly but suspiciously. (50 exp)
- Rumours are sought, but not much new is learnt. There's a lot of stuff going down, basically. (50 exp)
- Corpulus Thrall, the Necromancer-General in charge of this town, is sought out also. As friends of Castigate Pox and saviours of Moondin, it's easy to get an audience! (50 exp)
- The party enter the skeletal spire and are led by shadowy figures to the inner sanctum. As they enter, they see a flock of crows swirling to create the impression of a man. (50 exp)
- The crows fly away, leaving a throne of bone which has the skin of an obese man draped over it. (50 exp)
- The skin-man's mouth opens... and he burbles out some words of welcome before slithering along the floor and slopping into an empty chair. (50 exp)
- He tells the party about Cardinal Scream, the series of birds who the party just saw leave, whose mission is to obtain more dead from the Barrowmaze for the war against the demons and mouldmen. (50 exp)
- Chiffon finds her way into a trendy post-goth party and expresses her solid and deeply-held opinions about hipster music she's only just found out about. (50 exp)
- Jack decides she needs a letter of recommendation from Corpulus Thrall, but he burbles and laughs because he has no bones and can't hold a pen. (50 exp)
- Jack thinks of a solution. As the rest of the party leaves, she sticks her entire arm into Corpulus Thrall's skin-sack body, filling out his arm like a glove. It slides in easily and Corpulus moans in ecstasy. (50 exp)
- Without pen or paper to hand, and considering anything she wrote would be in her handwriting anyway, she quickly withdraws her arm. Her skin slides easily off her muscles, leaving her whole arm skinned! She screams in rage and horror! (50 exp)
- In despair she throws herself upon her own sword, leaving Corpulus to harvest the rest of her skin. Jack dies like her father, killed by touching something everyone said was dangerous for no obvious reason (50 exp)
- In the interests of letting the new arrival experience a dungeon, we fast-travel to the Barrow Moor. A place of bog and mist and the unquiet Dead. There's a big dungeon here! (50 exp)
- After some minor confusion from yours truly, the party find themselves at a circle of standing stones surrounding a hole into the depths of the Barrowmaze. A rusty metal tripod and sodden rope allow an easy descent into the vaulted room below. (50 exp)
- Ignatius Darke, infected with Tom's rage and ennui, suddenly appears and sprints naked into the dungeon! Some passing tomb robbers are scared by this apparition and attack, but Ignatius is not slowed and keeps going until his presumed death at the hands of some undead creature or other. (50 exp)
- Nonplussed, the rest of the party approach the tomb robbers and ask them to give them the lowdown on this place. They do! (See stuff at the top of the email for stuff you should have known going in). (50 exp)
- The tomb robbers leave on good terms, heading to the entrance, while the party sets to trying to find something unlooted down here. (50 exp)
- Among several options is a bricked-up doorway. Smashing it is left to Mugg, who loudly bangs up her shovel while she breaks it down. (50 exp)
- Inside, a big squat toad statue... and many unlooted hexagonal burial alcoves! Score! (50 exp)
- Suspecting magic, Dr Maybe spell-swaps to Detect Magic in order to scan the room. He fucks up the swap intentionally... and That Which Should Not Be occurs. (50 exp)
- To quote, "
Everything goes dark, you lose sight of the walls, your companions are around you with shining white eyes, they rend and tear at your flesh, stuffing their mouths, not even chewing in their haste to fill their bellies, your attempts to fight back pass through them like a shadow.
Your companions find themselves sitting in a circle around the place where you last stood with distended bellies and blood soaked hands and mouths. The only remaining trace of the caster is a wax-sealed skull sitting in their midst." (50 exp)
- Holy shit. We ceremoniously tear his character sheet apart with our mouths. (50 exp)
- On the plus side, the toad statue vomits forth a bunch of treasure. Hooray! (50 exp)
- Time is spent searching the burial alcoves and the riches are taken. Double hooray! (50 exp)
- They head back in the direction of the entrance and check out one of the first doors. Nix heads in... and is trapped by a falling stone wall! (50 exp)
- The pile of bones in the corner harryhausen's into a skeleton, while three more burst out of the other door. Nix is trapped! (50 exp)
- It's a classic "I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me!" situation. She smashes a skeleton with bare fists, before a crit from a second sends her into her very first Barbarian Rage! (50 exp)
- It's a massacre. On the other side of the wall, the party manages to bash a small hole. Mugg chucks a torch in to help the Barbarian see, but at the sight of the carnage the party pragmatically decide to chill on the non-Barbarian side of the wall. (50 exp)
- It sounds like someone's destroying a xylophone in there, but eventually the noises and growling stop. The party knock down the remaining wall to find Nix surrounded by bone dust. (50 exp)
- Loot in hand, and Barbarian saved, the group head up and out of the Barrowmaze. A successful foray! (50 exp)
Total: 2500 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- Vore bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Touch That bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1950 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)- Quartermaster (Henry / Dr Maybe - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Ignatius - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Dr Maybe - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Ollie, Charles - 100 exp)
- An Hero bonus (Tom - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Henry - 500 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
- Teamkilled bonus (Henry - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Ignatius - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness??? bonus (All who ate Dr Maybe - 100 exp)

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 300sp. (Zena's Stake: 200sp, Carrie's Stake: 100sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Jack Hacker, stuck her whole arm into the mouth of a man who was a boneless sack of skin. Lost all her skin.- Ignatius Darke, ran screaming into the dead-haunted halls of the Barrowmaze never to be seen again.
- Dr Maybe, devoured by his colleagues after a spell went horribly awry.
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 34236 (Level up at 64000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 32171 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 27006 (Level up at 32000)
- Tom / Jack Hacker, Level 5 Specialist: 14907 (Level up at 24000)
- Tom / Ignatius Darke, Level 3 Necromancer: 4552 (Level up at 9000)*DECEASED*
- Henry / Dr Maybe, Level 2 Magic-User: 2303 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Chiffon, Level 1 Elf (Canny Childe): 1184 (Level up at 3000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 1 Fighter: 1084 (Level up at 2000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 1 Dwarf: 884 (Level up at 2200)
- Tom / Tom's Next Character: +1684 exp
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

Absent or Retired:- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, 
Level 5 Cleric: 14651 (Level up at 28000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2303 exp

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Session 147 - Lakes and Loose Ends

A terrorist is denied, Castigate Pox is rescued, and a lone Necromancer goes off on a solo adventure.
Somehow the game has formed a sort of natural denouement to the Moondin plot arc. With things more or less tied up and Castigate rescued, what does the future hold for our arguably brave adventurers?!

Onto the MAD COOL art we have this week:

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Tom finishes off his kickass TPK painting!

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Charles shows Zena's reaction to Castigate's return, Rake's bloated corpse still within

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- Ollie earns the first ever Cosplay Bonus!
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- I doodle Baba Jon's final form

“They all said I wouldn’ get to Varna. But dammit, I’ll show them!” The man flailed his arm dramatically. He was slurring badly. The girl watched intently, patiently. She knew it would not be long. “Who’s they, might I ask?” “The demon hunter… her political friends. Hacker’s cabinet.” The girl’s eyes snapped from the man’s numerous valuables to his face. “You knew Rake Hacker?” “Didn’ know the guy. But his cabinet I did… lousy turds. His cousin was tryin’ to gather up the ropes after Rake died. Never stood a chance…” “How did he die? Rake Hacker?” “Wow, you really have been abroad a long time, huh. Drowned in a lake. Shame, because he’d pledged his sword to the Fated Queen… he was goin’ up in the world.” Now the girl hung on the man’s every word. He would keep his possessions for just a little longer. The man leaned in, his breath stinking of Old Wallop. “But here’s why I left. See, there’s not actually ever been such thing as a Steward in Loegria. The term’s a Dutch import.” She was familiar with the title’s history – she’d been serving the Stadtholder in Amsterdam until only weeks before. “Makes sense to create the title during a crisis, but once Rake died, shit started stirrin’ fast. I jumped ship as soon as other parties started vyin’ for control. There’ll be knives a-flyin’, I tell you.” “I … don’t follow?” “Trust me, I’m a nobleman. I know my titles. See, the Stewards in Holland are hereditary. When the Stadtholder dies, the guy’s child takes over. And Rake Hacker had a daughter…” The girl’s eyes opened wide. The drunken man tossed his head back and laughed. “So there’s some poor kid somewhere who’s just become the rightful Steward of Moondin!”
- Tom writes some rad backstory fiction to cross over his new character

Session 147 - Lakes and Loose Ends

Campaign Date:
Friday, 5 August, 1660
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Cancer

New Backstory:
- Ignatius was told to break the law.... and did! Following the instructions of a black grimoire, he killed his own father in bloody ritual. (+1 to hit guards, soldiers, and other forces of law and order)

Enemies Defeated:- Numerous kelpies (250 exp)
Total: 250 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Castigate Pox returned!
- 1cp with Gifflewim's face on it (1 exp)
Total: 1 exp

Exploration:- First person/party to visit Hoop (100 exp)- First person/party to visit Fiskit (500 exp)
- First person/party to visit Rote (500 exp)
- Many miles of travel (900 exp)
Total: 2000 exp

- Ignatius Dark reads his book on vampires, and finds out there's a whole country of vampires called Voivodja which is pretty much where Transylvania is. (50 exp)
- Oh also the way to become a vampire is to be drained by one. If you want to be a free-willed vampire, the vampire who turned you must die. (50 exp)
- Ignatius decides to go off on his own, travel to the nearest port, and sail off on a solo adventure. (50 exp)
--- Ignatius
- Heading off on Pippi's Saudi's Mighty Lady, he leaves Moondin and heads east towards Fate. On the way, he greets a rider coming the other way who warns him about a warband holding the bridge ahead. (50 exp)
- Ignatius takes a detour, heading south to the coast so he'll eventually end up at port city Rote. (50 exp)
- The weather takes a turn as he goes, eventually pissing it down as night falls. Luckily he comes across a tavern, the Lemon & Lime, and goes in. (50 exp)
- Most notably there is an old guy in a wheelchair. A Knight of Science! Possibly the Knight of Science. It's unclear. Ignatius gets him a beer and learns a bit about the local area. (50 exp)
- The next morning, he continues on. Just before the seaside town of Fiskit he meets an army patrol group and has a chat. (50 exp)
- In the town he meets a man names Salty Jewels who is willing to sell him some "sea salties", jellyfish-esque blobs that allow one to breathe underwater! (50 exp)
- Salty Jewels gets a couple out of his personal watertight saltie-pouch and gives them to Ignatius, who has nowhere to put them. They soon dry out and pop, to Ignatius' consternation. (50 exp)
- He goes to the local church and prays to The Lady. It's obvious that the church was once devoted to a local sea deity, later retrofitted to the Nine when worshipping Low Gods was outlawed. (50 exp)
- He eventually leaves, riding along the coastal road until he reaches the port town of Rote, hoping to find a ship that will take him overseas. A mysterious woman watches from the shadows... (50 exp)
--- The Party
- Everyone else is in a tavern and see Ignatius run out the door. As he leaves, a strange old man enters the pub and approaches the party. (50 exp)
- He bears a message from Andromeda. Meet her in the forest in the place of her choosing, she has a proposition for them. (50 exp)
- After some debate, the offer is accepted. They'll go fresh and heavily armed though, since it's obviously a trap. (50 exp)
- Carrie Meleste reveals her horrific new business idea - undead sex toys made from aborted fetuses. Surprisingly, Zena says she's interested in backing the business. (50 exp)
- When the group arrives in the forest clearing, Andromeda is there with her hands open and empty. Beside her, Vanilla Honeybuns, one of her most trusted soldier-prostitutes. (50 exp)
- Andromeda proposes that she fund a trip to find El Dorado. What's in it for her? A 10% cut of treasures earned. (50 exp)
- The party deliberate for about 5 seconds before declining her kind offer. They leave on cordial terms and no blood is shed. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD wants to go dredge the nixie lake for Castigate. But first... to gain control of the Cult of the Ghost Dragon. (50 exp)
- He enters the dingy HQ of the cult and soon meets their leader, Dragonpriest Quimly. She agrees that there was a conspiracy - Rake didn't kill the Ghost Dragon. It was summoned to protect the city from Andromeda Spiderbite, the true enemy of the Ghost Dragon. (50 exp)
- The cult leader runs to his his red string conspiracy wall... moves a few pins and... the strings form the face of POWERLAD! The true saviour! The Ghost Dragon himself! (50 exp)
- Tremendo briefly shows up to ask some questions and freaks out Quimly who calls for someone to exterminate the rat! Tremendo eventually leaves, upset at his treatment. He briefly considers revenge but is stopped by POWERLAD's return. (50 exp)
- Zena heads to Necromancer HQ to meet up with Nexus Praxus, the big winner in all the political upheaval. He offers her a job, which she refuses. (50 exp)
- What he does do is agree to help with the Castigate Pox retrieval process, sending two of his most trusted Necromancers and 10 skeletons apiece to help dredge the lake. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- While waiting for this all to shake out, Zena meets up with Carrie. Together they invest 300sp in the admittedly Wild undead sex toy business. The name... Bone Alone. (50 exp)
- The party head out with their undead contingent. Virax and Mordus are their names, and they're the classic tall-guy-short-guy villainous henchmen team. (50 exp)
- The trees are alive with wooden-masked Elves. They fire some leaf-arrow warning shots at the party's feet, but the offer of weed mollifies them and they let the party pass. (50 exp)
- Reaching the lake, weed is passed around to the Necromancers to make them immune to nixie-charm. They send their skeletons into the water to look for Castigate. (50 exp)
- Tremendo grabs a fishing rod and heads around the lake a ways. He is approached by a beautiful white horse that he totally ignores until it goes away. (50 exp)
- Soon a sexy ratmaness emerges from the misty water. Tremendo chucks a rat at her and she leaves. (50 exp)
- How exactly to deal with the nixies is discussed at length. Eventually Nix comes up with her perfect team solution - a massive combo Beam glyph dubbed Dante's Inferno. (50 exp)
- They fire it up and it's a real beast! The electricity, heat, fire, and everything else pours into the lake! The skeletons are toast, naturally, and a phew wet explosive pops mark where nixies in the wrong place and time got exploded. (50 exp)
- Options are discussed at length. Diving bell? More runes? I roll to see what Castigate's fate actually was and... oh it turns out he's walking now. (50 exp)
- Castigate Pox stumbles out of the water, dragging his axe behind him, clearly the worse for wear. Someone opens his helmet only to be confronted with Rake's bloated and waterlogged face staring at them! (50 exp)
- Yes, Castigate animated Rake as a zombie and used him to animate the armour. He saw the light show on the surface and assumed it was a rescue party! (50 exp)
- Tremendo, still on the other side of the lake, decides to dive in... but when he sees the shadow of a fish he bugs out and returns to the party. (50 exp)
- Castigate tells the party he'll "walk it off" and follows them back to Moondin while they update him on the political situation. (50 exp)
- Back at Moondin, we end with Rake's closed casket funeral. Tears are shed, his coffin effigy is carved pantsless, and wizards fly Red Arrows-style overhead. Goodbye Rake, you will be remembered. (50 exp)
Total: 1950 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations 
bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 900 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Tom / Ignatius - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Guard (Ollie / Tremendo - 100 exp)

- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Cosplay bonus (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Fraser, Tom, Charles - 100 exp)
--- Rake's Funeral
- POWERLAD: 2000 exp
- Nix: 600 exp
- Tremendo: 600 exp
- Zena: 600 exp
- Andromeda: 2500 exp

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 300sp. (Zena's Stake: 200sp, Carrie's Stake: 100sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 33052 (Level up at 64000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Levelup Table! 6 rounds Rage!- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 30987 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 26722 (Level up at 32000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 14651 (Level up at 28000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +Saves! +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 2 spell/day!- Tom / Ignatius Darke, Level 3 Necromancer: 4552 (Level up at 9000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell!
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Max Rats: 4!
Absent or Retired:- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2303 exp

- Tom / Rake's Daughter: +14907 exp
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +Saves +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell!
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)