Session 253 - We’re Not Here to Fuck Microwaves

Session 253 - We’re Not Here to Fuck Microwaves

Date:

December. 15 years after the End.

Character List:

- Andromeda, Andromedan Vampire / Kitty

- DJ, Intergalacticist Cleric / Charles

- Red, Duellist Fighter / Timothy
- Zulu Snakebite, Barbarian / Ollie
- Dargo, Inheritor / Russell
- Luna, Vampire / Johnathon
- Ratman, Ratman / Izzy

Foes:

- Disabled UFO weapons (1000 exp)
- “Disabled” a squad of space marines (500 exp)
Total: 1500 exp

Events:

--- Aftermath
- In the aftermath of the battle, Dargo digests the corpse of the powerful Barbarian woman to go along with her pet dinosaur. Together forever inside his bulk. Lovely.
- Zulu is discovered to be gone, having flown off on her antelope sleigh to deal with her Santa Claus duties. Luckily Beepbox has turned up! He quickly gets to work repairing one of the drones, speaking to it with his Styxian miracle, while Dargo hefts the rest in a big box onto his shoulder.
- The drone explains how it gained sentience after the humans messed around with the clocks, and flies up to scout. It tells Beepbox that it can see a stegosaurus in one direction, a strange goop in another, and of course the crashed UFO down the crash trail.

- Evil Rumours
- It’s decided to rest up and recuperate, several people got pretty hurt and the Clerics are low on miracles. After avoiding such perils as giant ants with the help of Beepbox’s drone friend, they arrive back at the campsite… only to discover that someone has discovered it first!
- There are bodies scattered around the place, open tents, and scattered equipment. Andromeda flicks through her vision modes and sees that there’s a man hiding in one of the tents!
- She bursts in and accosts him and the guy flails for his spear! He pleads for his life, and says he’s hiding from a glowing dinosaur with a gun! After a little more interrogation, Andromeda drains his blood and Dargo consumes him for information. They don’t believe the gun dinosaur story.
- Despite being unable to consume it, Andromeda offers to cook. DJ and the Ratman head out to forage and find nothing but some suspicious berries. Thankfully when they return they find that Andromeda’s cooking up a delicious dish - T-Rex steak on a bed of moss, with an optional compote of diarrhoea berries.

--- Evil Dinosaur
- The others sleep while the vampires Andromeda and Luna stay up talking about goth bands. As the night draws on, they see a red glow slipping through the trees…
- Andromeda turns into bat form and flies over to investigate, finding a man-high theropod with a glowing red gem in its chest! It seems to see her, and while she pretends to be a bat it extends shadowy tendrils and begins to climb the tree towards her…
- She bugs out, flying back to the camp and readying herself for battle! They decide not to wake up the others and thankfully the creature doesn’t follow. Phew!

--- Roll Out

- Refreshed after the night’s sleep, the party wake up into a humid morning that only threatens to get stickier as the day moves on.
- They discuss whether they’re going to be using the cool but radioactive space armour. The answer - who cares if they’ll get cancer in 30 years? Nobody’s living that long anyway! Everyone dons the space armour other than Dargo, who is simply too massive to be contained in such a small suit, and Beepbox who integrates a jump pack into his existing armour.
- It’s time to head to the UFO proper geared up with alien tech! On the way some buff dinosaurs are distracted by DJ plastering a screaming face to a termite mound.

--- Another Warzone!
- They follow the drone towards the UFO, hearing gunfire and seeing occasional energy-mortars falling from the sky. The drone diverts them slightly, bringing them to a bunch of Mod Cons pinned down behind a low rise. Between them and the UFO is a No Man’s Land littered with dead people and appliances!
- Beepbox gets the appliances to hold fire by talking to their washing machine commander, and DJ begins a brave assault on the enemy human forces! He jump-packs across the battlefield, stands atop the ridge, and blows a wave of classic chill-wave over the fighters. Everyone chills the fuck out, but DJ is framed atop the ridge and vulnerable to UFO turret-fire!
- Beepbox throws his foam gun to Andromeda and she warps over to the UFO with her void pet, foaming up one of the gun turrets. Dargo draws fire, grabbing a big boulder from the battlefield and defending Luna with it. DJ casts Abduct on a midair energy mortar… sending it hovering upwards and out of danger while Andromeda foams up the mortar itself!

- Red takes out the final gun, and DJ goes into the chill field to try to make peace with the woman whose armour he stole before. She’s having none of it, and the vibe begins to get weird…
- There’s nothing for it, he’s got to use his final option - Incite Orgy! A wave of lust emanates, pulling in pretty much everybody from around the battlefield, including the charging appliances…

--- Fuck Machines
- Red stares into the orgy zone with innocent fascination. Every time she looks away she forgets what she just saw, then when she looks back it’s the orgy again. Very strange. She even forgets what Dargo is doing with his tentacles.

- After a while she gets bored and checks out the UFO, soon finding a door. She bangs on the door until a man begrudingly answers. He’s a bit of a silver fox and he’s called George because I made up a name on the spot and apparently just say the names of absent players when they’re not there.

- Red spends the next half hour annoying people and generally being unseduced by George’s obvious seduction attempts. Most of the people in the ship are watching the screens, fascinated by the orgy outside.
- Eventually the orgy ends. The fighting is over now, they literally made love not war! They put their clothes back on, and making occasional awkward grins at each other and patting exhausted microwaves and automatic whisks. The washing machine commander puts himself on a strong rinse cycle.
- DJ’s lover, who says her name is Alice, staggers bow-legged over to the UFO and opens the door, letting everyone inside. The people within are confused, they were totally just watching something on the screens… but what? And why is everyone staggering to grab glasses of water and slices of pizza? Why is there a queue for the toilets? And why, most of all, does everyone seem to be friends with the Mod Cons now?

- Whatever the reason, it seems that the space marines and appliances are now at peace!

Total: 6000 exp

Team Bonus:

- Antagonist Appeaser bonus
- Brutal Kill bonus
- Coitus boners
- Classic Charles bonus
- Diplomancy bonus
- Fame bonus
- Freudian bonus
- High as Fuck bonus
- Holy bonus
- Long Deliberation bonus
- Mad Inventor bonus
- Masterchef bonus
- Monster “Infighting” bonus
- Noblebright bonus
- Pitched Battle bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- Tentacle Molestation bonus

Total: 850 exp

Individual Bonus:

- Chronicler (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Expedition Leader (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Cartographer (Izzy / Ratman - 100 exp)
- Paymaster (Charles / DJ - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Zulu - 100 exp)

- Vanguard (Russell / Dargo - 100 exp)
- Chef (Jonathon / Luna - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Red - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Ollie, Izzy - 500 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 7 Andromedan Vampire: 103262 (Level up at 144000)

- Charles / Dustin Johnson, Level 7 Intergalacticist Cleric: 102365 (Level up at 112000)

- Tim / Red, Level 7 Duellist Fighter: 71862 (Level up at 128000)

- Russell / Dargo, Level 6 Inheritor: 65716 (Level up at 72000)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 6 Ratman: 34938 (Level up at 48000)

- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 4 Cleric of the New Eden: 12655 (Level up at 14000)

- Jonathon / Luna, Level 2 Vampire Thrall: 3136 (Level up at 4500)

Level Up! +1 HP! +Backstory!

Session 252 - Rage Against the Flying of the Lights

A session of pure, glorious combat against powerful foes in sci-fi power armour!

They were defeated and the Mod Cons were saved... at the cost of Andromeda's broken ribs and the disbanding of the New Moondin Lost Boys. A pyrrhic victory!

Session 252 - Rage Against the Flying of the Lights

Date:

December. 15 years after the End.

Character List:

- Andromeda, Andromedan Vampire / Kitty

- DJ, Intergalacticist Cleric / Charles

- Red, Duellist Fighter / Timothy
- Zulu Snakebite, Barbarian / Ollie
- Dargo, Inheritor / Russell
- The New Moondin Lost Boys, Extras / George
- Margaret and the Thatchers, Extras / Hagar
- The Coopers, Extras / Nadav

New Characters:
- Margaret and the Thatchers, a group of Extras led by a pun. Big fans of giant hairbrushes.
- The Coopers, another group of Extras who briefly wield incredibly dangerous crowbars.

New Backstory:

- Mydog Smith of the New Moondin Lost Boys was generous during the long savage period of the Poisoned Years, and was instrumental in handing around the flesh of the deceased POWERLAD cult who kept the town fed in those early years. When eating to heal, can grant your healing to someone else instead.

- Beepbox’s defining moment remains the time he accidentally broke his father’s precious Beepbox, the still-working corpse of an angel. He says his dad died of a broken heart. Whenever your weapon or armour breaks, you get a free Action.

Loot:

- 6 Power Suits (3000 exp)
- 4 Foam Guns (400 exp)
- 4 Deployable Forcefields (400 exp)
- 2 Ray Guns (200 exp)
- 2 Radiation Cannons (200 exp)
- 2 crates of Heated Bidet Toilet Seats (5000 exp)
- 1 crate of Microwaves (2500 exp)
- 1 crate of Floating Lightbulbs (2500 exp)
- 20 obols (20 exp)
- 16 dinosaur rations (16 exp)
- Vial of Ultra-Rare Spices adds +5 to one Cooking roll
- 2 staffs and a spear
Total: 14236 exp

Foes:

- Barbara the Barbarian (500 exp)
- 14 “Space Marine” Indomes (700 exp)
Total: 1200 exp

Events:

- Our view pans down from above towards a frenzied battle scene. Inside the impact scar left by a crashed space ship, lasers criss-cross the battlefield. The combatants duck and weave behind storey-tall cubes of stained metal while others blast around on jump-packs built into their futuristic metal suits. “Mod Cons” - sentient modern conveniences like microwaves and bidets - cower in their broken-open shipping containers. An unarmoured woman riding a dinosaur charges into combat, spear held high.
- But rather than zooming down towards the brutal combat, our view is drawn down and to the left, towards a scene much more personal…

--- DJ Disappoints
- Further along the impact scar, behind a ridge, Dustin “DJ” Johnson is persuading an amorous half-naked lady to let him wear her power suit while they get down and dirty. He swears it’ll be hot.
- Alas, he betrays her immediately. The armour closes over him and he immediately jumps away, snatching her foam gun for good measure! She shakes her fist at him as he zooms away, he didn’t even leave her his number!

--- Back to the Battle!
- DJ flies over to the main battle, seeing some space marines behind a low forcefield taking beam rifle fire from Zulu who is trapped in foam. The Lost Boys fire up at a couple of robed wizards on the ridge above. Elsewhere, Dargo manifests an enormous poisonous tendril and snatches the enemy Barbarian from her dinosaur’s back!
- Andromeda and her Void Pet have achieved synchronicity. It feels her thoughts and bends space to warp her across the battlefield… right behind one of the enemy wizards! Blood appropriately rains down around him, side effect of his chaotic spontaneous spellcasting.

- DJ himself is shocked when the bidets mistake him for a foe and squirt him with anti-aircraft water. His attempts to trick the baddies into coming with him but they’re a little busy right now!

- Dargo’s wrestle with the Barbarian goes well up until he starts to run low on Meat Points. She kicks off him and her pachycephalosaurus charges in to help her! Raked with beam-fire from the more distant Zulu and Lost Boys, nevertheless it charges in with a terrifying ram attack! He hardens his flesh with crocodile skin but it’s not enough… until a random guy comes diving out of nowhere to save him! Big Smiles of the Lost Boys is thrown off-screen by the impact, but he helped Dargo survive!

- There is a distant whistle and Zulu’s antelope charges in to help. It dives under the belly of the dinosaur and rears its head, skewering the dinosaur’s underbelly and throwing it down the slope! The Barbarian flies into a rage at the sight, screaming obscenities!

--- Reinforcements!
- Siân the Necromancer arrives on an intelligent razor scooter she found somewhere! She flip-kicks off a container and lands right next to the Lost Boys! Just in time to be blasted by a radiation cannon. She dives behind a container before she can eat another blast, stones from her sling pinging off the marine’s armour.
- Andromeda is thrown down the slope by a wizard, but swiftly warps back up to him with her Void Pet powers! She’s in for a cruel shock when the wizard’s last act is to explode in a cloud of Magic Missiles, but she’s fine! The other wizard looks at her in fear as she turns to look at him, blood trickling from her fangs.

- Battlecries erupt and a small army of Extras charges into battle! One group is led by Margaret of the Thatchers, the other is made up of Coopers led by ---!
- In an auspicious start, the Coopers charge into combat to assist the beleaguered Dargo and… their weapons shatter! Shards of crowbar scythe out across the combat, hurting Dargo, the Barbarian, and themselves!
- Margaret and the Thatchers charge a shipping crate, scramble up the side with the climbing skill honed through years of climbing roofs, and attack the marine standing atop it!
- DJ tries to persuade some marines that he’s their friend, and they tell him to get out while he still can! He foams them up instead, showing his allegiance.

--- Red Arrives!
- The Barbarian charges towards Dargo, but Red is there! She leaps at the Barbarian and tackles her down the slope into the impact scar, giving Dargo time to… collapse into ooze over the dinosaur and begin to digest it. Yum.

- Andromeda advances towards the last wizard and he tries to ward her off with another blast of magic… but the spell goes awry! He’s lifted into the air, screaming, as his limbs separate from his body and his torso is consumed from within as if a great mouth is devouring him from the inside out! Gore rains down on Andromeda, who tries to catch some in her open mouth.
- Down in the impact scar, Red faces down the charging Barbarian, confidently standing in her favoured duelling pose. Alas, she eats spear! As she recovers, a passing marine sprays foam in her direction, slowing her!
- Across the battlefield, Zulu has called her blood-drenched antelope to her and charges the group of marines that DJ just foamed up. Margaret and the Thatchers turn their leggets into a long hairbrush-pole and flail at one of the marines, while the Coopers try to catch another in a barrel.
- Elsewhere, the Lost Boys take a hit too far from a Radiation Cannon. The rest of the Extras are dead… it’s just the Named Characters left. They look up to see another Radiation Cannon aiming in their direction. Big Smiles, still hurt from saving Dargo from the charging dinosaur, keels over dead in the wave of cancerous energy. The Extras are Extras no more… now they’re just a bunch of loyal chumps under the command of Flowers Penurious.

--- Barbarian Rage!
- Andromeda looks across the battlefield from her vantage on the ridge and sees that Red has been foamed up! She warps across with her Void Pet’s space-compression powers and… eats an elbow to the jaw! The Barbarian was pulling her arm back for a thrust at just the wrong time!
- The Barbarian turns to Andromeda, frothing from the mouth, while Red taunts impotently from the sidelines. In her rage the Barbarian chucks her spear at Andromeda’s head, but she moves aside with vampiric speed and the spear skewers the nearby marine in the skull!
- Andromeda staggers back and Red can only watch in horror as the Barbarian’s followup blow crunches straight through Andromeda’s sternum, cracking through ribs and out of her back!  The Barbarian pulls her fist free and kicks Andromeda backwards like a rag doll. The blow would kill any living being, but Andromeda spasms weakly, coughing up blood.

- There is another warcry, the Coopers charge down the slope and pile onto the Barbarian in a mass of bodies! DJ jumps behind Red and grabs her under the armpits and boosts her towards the scrum, letting her fall rapier-first onto the Barbarian! Red gets her in the hip, blood spraying from the wound.
- Red takes the dagger from her belt and stabs again and again while the Coopers hold her down, finally driving the blade into the roof of the Barbarian’s mouth. With the last of her strength she bites down hard on the dagger, shattering it with a last hateful cronch as she dies. Red rips out her spine in vengeance.

--- Close-Fought Victory
- Andromeda, lying in the dirt, see DJ descend from above. He lands next to her and gently lifts her up. Cleric healing won’t work on her Undead form, so he medevacs her over to the blood rain that still falls where the wizard died.
- Drinking down the blood-rain, her superficial wounds begin to close. DJ offers her his blood and she gratefully slurps it down. Her fractured ribs will take time to heal, or possibly lots of blood. Who knows?
- The remaining space marines fall back and jump back towards the crashed spaceship. One of them picks up DJ’s abandoned almost-lover on the way, and distant obscenities can be heard as she’s carried off.
- DJ discovers that there’s a downside to this cool power armour - radiation damage. He feels short of breath, and when he takes off the armour his skin is covered in a flaky red rash. Nasty stuff.
- While everyone catches their breath and starts looting the corpses, a horrible monster arises from the dirt… Dargo! Reforming back into his hulking, scaly, squid-faced form he now sports a crown of horns. Truly a terrifying demon king!

Total: 6000 exp

Team Bonus:

- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus
- Balls to the Wall bonus
- Best of Intentions bonus
- Brutal Kill bonus
- Coitus boners
- Classic Charles bonus
- Dramatic Battle bonus
- Dramatic Rescue bonus
- Fame bonus
- Freudian bonus
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus
- Ludicrous Gore bonus
- Monster Infighting bonus
- Noblebright bonus
- Pitched Battle bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus
- Schindler’s bonus
- Tentacle Molestation bonus
- WWE bonus

Total: 1050 exp

Individual Bonus:

- Chronicler (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Expedition Leader (George / Lost Boys - 100 exp)
- Cartographer (George / Lost Boys - 100 exp)
- Paymaster (Charles / DJ - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Zulu - 100 exp)

- Vanguard (Russell / Dargo - 100 exp)
- Chef (Ollie / Zulu - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Charles - 500 exp ea.)

- Near Death Experience bonus (Andromeda, Lost Boys - 100 exp ea.)

Injuries:
- The Lost Boys are no more, now merely a gang of 0-level mooks who follow Flowers Penurious.
- Andromeda’s ribs are fractured after an insanely powerful punch from an enraged Barbarian.

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 7 Andromedan Vampire: 101369 (Level up at 144000)

- Charles / Dustin Johnson, Level 7 Intergalacticist Cleric: 100972 (Level up at 112000)

- Tim / Red, Level 7 Duellist Fighter: 70469 (Level up at 128000)

- Ollie / Zulu Snakebite, Level 7 Barbarian: 68118 (Level up at 128000)

- Russell / Dargo, Level 6 Inheritor: 64423 (Level up at 72000)

- George / Flowers Penurious, Level 5 Fighter: 27111 (Level up at 32000)
Extras Disbanded!

- Hagar / Margaret and the Thatchers, Level 2 Extras: 2811 (Level up at 3000)
Level Up: +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +Backstory!

- Nadav / Coopers, Level 2 Extras: 2811 (Level up at 3000)

Level Up: +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +Backstory!

Session 251 - Attack of the Drones

We're back baby! d2020, Year of the Double Crit!

After Andromeda's elephant goes on a rampage and she fills up on its blood, we're straight into the action with a Styx running from a hunting party and a cliffhanger ending mid-battle with enemies who want nothing more than to destroy the Modern Conveniences delivered by DJ's deity.

On with the show!

Session 251 - Attack of the Drones

Date:

December. 15 years after the End.

Character List:

- Andromeda, Laddite Cleric / Kitty

- DJ, Intergalacticist Cleric / Charles
- Granite “Grumpy” Ironjaw, Warden Dwarf / Carter

- Red, Duellist Fighter / Timothy
- Zulu Snakebite, Barbarian / Ollie
- Dargo, Inheritor / Russell
- The New Moondin Lost Boys, Extras / George
- Ratman, Ratman / Izzy

New Backstory:

- Ratman bricked up windows to make his job as a window tapper easier, to the chagrin of the residents who were bricked in. Once per session, prevent something from breaking a barrier or fortification.

- Zulu Snakebite was forced into begging when she first came through the portal into this world. +1 Charisma
- Pepper Handsome of the Lost Boys was laughed at during a party, he drank more to get through the night. Double exp from carousing if you fail vs the consequences.

- Dargo came to a marvellous feast “dressed” as the guest of honour and indulged himself mightily. +2 to reaction rolls at large social events.

- Red was saved from a pit by one of her spider-brothers. You may grant people next to you a reroll to prevent falling.

Overland Exploration:
- Explored a couple of hexes (100 exp)
- First party to behold the site of the Crashed Spaceship (500 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Loot:

- A foam gun
- A sackful of microwaves (1000 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Foes:

- A proto-elephant (750 exp)
- A flock of drones (375 exp)
- A space marine (50 exp)
Total: 1175 exp

Events:

--- A Rude Awakening
- A great trumpeting sound! Waking quickly from strange dreams of crabs and trucks, the party tumble out of their tents and into a combat against a great beast - Andromeda’s proto-elephant “friend” who has broken free of her vampiric mind control!
- Battle is joined, the great beast attacks Andromeda with its great tusks! She’s thrown back and suddenly Dustin Johnson is there, stumbling out of his tent hung with hotboxed meat and breathing out a great cloud of chiiiiill.
- In the ensuing calm, the party notices that Ratman the Ratman has returned with an army of rats. He calmly crawls onto the elephant’s back and puts gentle paws over its eyes. They toss some friendly ropes over the elephant to lash a friendly blanket to its friendly back. The resulting wrestle is completely unfriendly and ineffective!

- Grumpy charges, headbutts, and is knocked the fuck out. Zulu charges, headbutts, and knocks the elephant the fuck out! 

- The beast collapses, defeated, and Andromeda immediately feasts upon its unconscious body. Her body swells up horrifically like a massive mosquito. The others dump unneeded gear at the camp and prepare to move off towards the crashed spaceship to the east. Dargo and Ratman plot evil science.
- Near the edge of the jungle Grumpy suddenly awakes! He looks around and suddenly runs back to camp to grab his gear! Thank goodness nobody touched it!

--- The Hunters
- When he returns the others are looking out over the tall swaying grasses of the savannah. To the south they can see several figures walking. To the north something scurries through the grass. Andromeda directs the party north to see what the creature is.
- Zulu realises that she’s gaining Santa powers - implying it’s December outside the Dino-Dome - and detects that the creature to the north is mostly Nice but occasionally flicks over to Naughty.
- They reach the running figure and discover it’s a Styx! He wears a battered top hat and a raggedy once-fancy suit and he’s on the run from some vampires. Recent events have made him unable to re-upload to the Styxmind, so he’s rapidly having to come to terms with his mortality.
- Andromeda spots a bat flapping in the air some way away, so turns into a bat herself to talk! After some difficult free-fall conversation, they land below and Andromeda meets the three vampires who tell her they plan to turn Styx into a vampire and control him. She bursts their bubble by telling them goblins can’t be turned - they’re technically vegetables so don’t have blood.

- Gar’rath, the original bat, flies up again to see if the Styx has gone far and is suddenly pierced by a beam from a beam rifle! The other vampires reveal they’re being hunted themselves! Andromeda gets out of there, staying low through the grass in wolf form, and rejoins the others. By the time she gets back the Styx is gone, and Dargo is complaining about how it would have been nice to eat him.

--- War!
- The party head towards the sparkling plume of red smoke of the crash site, sticking to a stand of scrubby trees to avoid getting targeted by whatever’s shooting up the vampires, and find themselves at the edge of a war zone!
- Zulu’s Naughty/Nice vision picks up a group of Naughty entities moving closer, followed by another group designated Nice. It’s a group of “Space Marines” with jump packs, followed by a cloud of whirring quad-copter drones! What’s going on?
- Zulu exits cover and flags down the space marines, and is told by one mustachio’d man that there’s a war on. Humans versus Mod Cons! The drones are Mod Con enemies! The space marines jump onwards to attack the Mod Con rear, leaving the party to deal with the drones!
- Most of the drones peel off to attack the party and DJ uses the last of his Faith to chill them out! While the drones chill, Andromeda and others look to see where the space marines went. They look down into the scar left by the crashed ship and smashed open containers and living machines scattered about! The space marines are leaping about, blasting hardening foam at the living Mod Cons to keep them down.
- Around the drones, Red steps to the fore next to Ratman with his horde of rats. With a great sweep of her hand Red chucks a whole load of them onto the drones! The vermin nibble at the drones’ plastic carapaces even as they swoop down to slash past her with their whirring rotors.

- The others resolve to save the Mod Cons! There’s a container of microwaves and another of floating light bulbs, plus two containers piled high with heated bidet toilet seats. Zulu tosses her expandable Santa sack to Andromeda so she can save the microwaves, while DJ goes to defend the bidets!

- The space marines jump around easily with their jump packs, foaming up appliances and party members with impunity. Getting hit with a foam weapon slows you, if not binding you up entirely! 

- Zulu uses her grapnel gun to zip towards one of them and defeats him in glorious combat atop a container, seizing his weapon but also noticing that his skin below the neck is covered in cancerous growths.
- DJ, out of faith, uses the toilet seats to assist him in jumping up to attack passing space marines until he actually manages to grab one! The sticky foam binds them together! He triggers the enemy’s jump pack as they struggle and they zip off out of the combat, where DJ discovers that his enemy is both attractive and amorous...
- Andromeda sees that Red has fallen on the rise, assaulted by countless waves of drones. She leaves the microwaves in the sack for now, ignoring their scared dinging, and bolts up the slope to save Red with a powerful lightning Sacrifice attack!
- Dargo grabs the newly enervated Red from the ground and wields her like a club in his massive mutant hand! The drones attack and Dargo breaks his shield defending them, then counterattacks with his human weapon. Red laughs as she strikes through the damaged drones in a single swishing arc, unsure to this day which one of them was truly doing the cleaving.
- Amongst the Mod Cons, more space marines arrive from the opposite side of the crash scar. One of them rides a pachycephalosaurus and bears a passing resemblance to the deceased Lulu Spiderbite. Her marines wield different weapons to the others, strange and silvery.
- The Lost Boys move into a defensive position against this new force, protecting their flanks between two large containers… until one of them begins floating into the air! Grumpy has persuaded the floating lightbulbs to float, lifting the huge box nearly 10’ off the ground!
- The risen container tricks the dino-rider, who charges under the container in her pursuit of Grumpy! He stands atop the container, glaive glowing with superheated runes, ready to strike.
- Another marine blasts the Lost Boys with a wide-barrelled device that bathes them in warm green light, many Extras keel over covered in raw red radiation burns.
- Up the rise, two people wielding strange staves unleash a magical assault. Mages! They both release Chaos Bursts as they cast, heedless of the risks!
- We pause for the night in the middle of combat. Find out the exciting conclusion next week in D&D!!!

Total: 3000 exp

Team Bonus:

- Aggressive Negotiations bonus
- Balls to the Wall bonus
- Best of Intentions bonus
- Better Part of Valour bonus
- Brutal Kill bonus
- Coitus boners
- Classic Charles bonus
- Diplomancy bonus
- Dramatic Battle bonus
- Dramatic Rescue bonus
- Monster Infighting bonus
- Noblebright bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- Schindler’s bonus
- Split the Party bonus
- WWE bonus

Total: 800 exp

Individual Bonus:

- Chronicler (Carter / Grumpy - 100 exp)
- Expedition Leader (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Cartographer (Carter / Grumpy - 100 exp)
- Paymaster (Charles / DJ - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Zulu - 100 exp)

- Vanguard (Russell / Dargo - 100 exp)
- Triage (Carter / Grumpy - 100 exp)
- Chef (George / Lost Boys - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Charles, Izzy, Timothy - 500 exp ea.)
- Khorne Kernel bonus (Izzy - 200 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Ollie, Charles - 100 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 7 Andromedan Vampire: 97858 (Level up at 144000)

- Charles / Dustin Johnson, Level 7 Intergalacticist Cleric: 97561 (Level up at 112000)

- Carter / Granite "Grumpy" Ironjaw, Level 7 Warden Dwarf: 85632 (Level up at 140800)

- Tim / Red, Level 7 Duellist Fighter: 67658 (Level up at 128000)

- Ollie / Zulu Snakebite, Level 7 Barbarian: 65107 (Level up at 128000)

- Russell / Dargo, Level 6 Inheritor: 61612 (Level up at 72000)

- George / The New Moondin Lost Boys, Level 6 Extras: 43010 (Level up at 48000)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 6 Ratman: 33145 (Level up at 48000)