Tuesday, 5 February 2019

Session 213 - Battle for the Bone Dragon!

One hell of a session! Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus defeated, the Ossuary of All Bones claimed, and Galaxy-RJ able to use it!
As the dragons converge on the prime tentacle, we march towards a massive battle for the fate of the world. Fuck yea!

Cool Opening Monologue™
You stand upon the titanic fleshless skull of the undead Apocalypse Dragon.
You can see the gaseous forms of Cyrus and Galaxy RJ rising upwards, framed by the full moon.
There is a strange moment of stillness.
The night is cold and bright. Clouds drift across the sky, pulled in towards the great black dragon Ereshkigal. They swirl around the gravity well, a whirlpool in the sky.
The moon looms hugely overhead. It is close now. Far too close.
You can see the blood-red ocean crashing madly against the shore, desperate to reach the moon. The shoreline is torn to shreds, scattered with the shattered corpses of a thousand vessels. When the swirling wind blows from the south, you can almost smell the rotting slurry of long-dead fish that coats the coast.

Several miles away, moving ponderously eastwards, the huge shape of Ninhursag strides towards the Prime Tentacle. Hanging below its jaw, attached by vines, is a great stone cylinder. Green-winged drakencult swoop around it, fine-tuning its poisonous payload.

Beyond, on the horizon, the spiderlike silhouette of Fortress-City Fate crawls towards Mt Death Frost.
The angel above spins slowly, keeping pace.

And north, as always, the crawling blackness blossoms from the Black Sun, erasing the stars and turning the world to perfect night.

The wind howls. Above, a cloud of bats coalesces into a humanoid shape and begins to fall towards you.
What do you do?

Session 213 - Battle for the Bone Dragon!

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 21th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Full Moon
Zenith: Oberon
Zodiac: Gemini

New Character:
- An elf-child who claims to have a strange link to POWERLAD’s future...

New Backstory:
- Xe Romantique, the nonbinary allegedly “original” sibling of the Romantico line, was kicked into a hole byher jealous brother until they decided on their gender. They didn’t. (If you fall, you get an extra Climb check to grab an edge or convenient handhold partway down)

- Sepulchre had a surprising run of good luck as a con artist, right up until the point where he had to let his wife die in order to save his daughter. (After you fail a roll, +1 to your next roll)

- When Snels’ brother fell into the Impound of Flesh and all seemed lost, Snels did everything he could to save him. (One time only, survive the results of cataclysmic failure)
- Galaxy RJ had a terrible birthday when he was abandoned on Earth by his alien half-cousin. (On this date every game year, and every real year, and on the week of your real birthday - an NPC of your choice shows up)

Treasure and Equipment:
- The Ossuary of All Bones (10000 exp)
Total: 10000 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus (1500 exp)
- The bat-man Parallax Vim (250 exp)
Total: 1750 exp

Total: 0 exp

- We begin with a Cool Opening Monologue™. Such scene setting. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD is in the air. Sepulchre is on the big rune on the dragon’s skull. Others are further down the spine, waiting for whatever’s coming next. (50 exp)
- La Romantica "dies" of a long fall, new Romantico-spawn Xe Romantique had just finished climbing up the dragon to kill her in revenge for stealing her identity! Dang! (50 exp)

--- Sepulchre does the exact opposite of what you do before a boss battle
- We zoom in to Sepulchre who is attempting to commune with the long-dead soul of the titanic undead Apocalypse Dragon. (50 exp)
- He draws the Dragon’s X-shaped rune upon its forehead and his own in his own blood, presses his forehead to the centre of the dragon’s rune, and says, “Blood to bone, spirit to spirit, hear me Dragon. I offer my soul as your vessel. My heart as your engine, to rebuild what has broken and resurrect what has fallen. A shelter for power, a service for obedience, give me the last of your essence, make my spirit your home.” (50 exp)
- There is a hush. He hears a voice that tells him to spill his blood upon the rune to gain the dragon’s power! (50 exp)
- While suspicious for tricks, the chance that this works is too high! He carefully opens a vein and lets the blood flow out, bringing himself quite close to death. (50 exp)

- He talks to the ghost horse and tries something similar as it nervously laps at his blood. The same voice says “Yes give me your blood master, I love you sooo much” and then starts laughing. (50 exp)
- Crawling over the edge of the dragon skull, still laughing, is a man with bat wing arms and a couple of knives, one black one white. He’s pretty pleased with himself for his great trick! (50 exp)
- A humanoid shape falls onto the skull from above, bursts into gas, and reforms into the armoured form of Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus! Vampire Lord of the Duvan’Ku, armoured in Roman bronze and armed with a gladius, dark lord of the Dead! (50 exp)
- Cyrus and Parallax Vim his bat-man batman mock Sepulchre together, but suddenly… (50 exp)

--- POWERLAD does exactly what you say the hero should do when the villain starts monologuing before a boss battle
- POWERLAD folds his wings in and drops from above, taking in a big breath of air! Simultaneously, Sepulchre’s strange bargain triggers, and the dragon’s head is suddenly surrounded by a sphere of impossible vaccuum. (50 exp)

- He breathes out, his Size Breath blasting out at Cyrus. Cyrus shrinks in the blast, the sudden size change hurting him greatly! “Now he’s Cyrus Minimus”. Nice. (50 exp)
- Inside the vacuum field you cannot breathe, but you can speak and POWERLAD’s wings do support his weight which is sad because POWERLAD blew his Featherfall on the way down just in case. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris approaches the shimmering edge of the field and tries to huff it to get high, but it doesn’t work and she’s harmed as her lungs suck against weird nothingness. (50 exp)
- Snels and Xe Romantique hold their breaths and run into the field, hoping to do some damage in the few rounds they can hold their breaths for. (50 exp)
- Sepulchre’s ghost horse runs the fuck away, frightened by all the loud noises. Since it’s a ghost horse that can run up walls, it ends up whinnying on the Dragon’s chin. (50 exp)
- Parallax Vim the bat-man dives at POWERLAD with his knives. They roll along the dragon’s skull, while Cyrus himself bursts into green gas and whooshes downwards towards the dragon’s jaw. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Parallax roll to the edge of the skull, evenly matched, and plunge down into the sky, There’s a couple of kilometres to fall from the skull of the skeleton of the god-dragon so they’re not dead yet! (50 exp)
- Parallax is horrified to discover that he’s fighting the legendary POWERLAD, and POWERLAD realises that the bat-man is part of Ninhursag’s drakencult as they fall. Byeee! (50 exp)

--- Romantique goes full Barbarian
- Hearing Cyrus shouting commands from between the Dragon’s jaws, Xe Romantique leaps and slides Tarzan-style, down one of the Dragon’s downward-curving horn. They leap from the tip of the horn and grapple Cyrus who stands clinging to a huge tooth. (50 exp)

- They burst into a Rage as soon as they hit, swelling their muscles and filling them with murderous POWER! Cyrus is no match for their incredible strength! (50 exp)
- The wrestlers roll across the lower jaw of the undead Dragon. Xe Romantique wrenches the monstrance out of his hand and chucks it away where it lands dangerously close to the gap in the Dragon’s mandible. (50 exp)
- As they wrestle, Xe Romantique realises that the inside of the bone Dragon’s mouth is a mass of skeletons, filling the space inside its skull. Gnarly. (50 exp)
- Snels reaches Sepulchre’s near-corpse and starts dragging him out of the anti-breathing field by his collar, saving his life! (50 exp)

--- Sepulchre’s Deadly Stunt
- lol jk. Sepulchre tears himself free and pushes Snels away, grapple-hooks a rope around the Dragon’s horn,and swings (50 exp)

- He traces a glorious arc! Over the horn, under the jaw, through the hole in the mandible, grabbing the golden monstrance, looping round a tooth, and landing, incredibly, on the ghost horse! (50 exp)
- There is a moment of awe as all witness this incredible feat. (50 exp)
- Then the horse is off, galloping away towards the spine! Sepulchre is bleeding profusely, losing consciousness, barely holding onto the monstrance!  (50 exp)
- Cyrus and Xe Romantique continue to grapple, Cyrus’ small size putting him at a significant disadvantage. Xe Romantique lifts the toddler-sized vampire lord into the air and rams him against the sharp point of the inwardly-curved tooth. (50 exp)
- The inside of the dragon’s skull is full of walking skeletons. A bunch of them crawl out from the mass of bones inside the skull and clank over to defend their vampire master from Xe Romantique’s untender ministrations. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Parallax Vim, still falling, argue about not fighting each other. POWERLAD tires of the conversation and finishes off speaking with a Web Punch which ties up the Bat-man’s wings and sends him plummeting to the ground. (50 exp)
- Looking down, POWERLAD sees a sea of skeletons. He sees hundreds of skeletons climbing the undead Dragon’s legs, knitting together to form a parody of musculature. (50 exp)

--- Goblins lose their chains
- A barely conscious Sepulchre hangs upside-down from the ghost horse, golden monstrance dangling limply from his hand. The horse charges madly down the Dragon’s spine to safety. (50 exp)
- Snels hears him coming and yells to his seeing-eye goblins to lower him on their chains to let him grab the monstrance as it goes past! He leaps from the dragon’s spine… (50 exp)
- ...and hears, distantly, “we have nothing to break but our chains, brothers!”. Snels plummets from the Dragon, trailing abandoned chains, as his brother intones relevant psalms on his back. (50 exp)

--- Dumbledorris grabs the baton
- Dumbledorris debates whether she can mirror-copy beings larger and/or more distant than herself (no) before swinging upside-down and yoinking the monstrance as Sepulchre and the horse gallop past. Score! (50 exp)

- She holds the monstrance aloft and cries out for all undead to heed her words!... But without the voice of the dead they cannot hear her. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD, a kilometre below the Dragon’s skull, sees Sepulchre and Snels’ plight. He gives a single powerful surge of his wings, sending himself skywards, then lets the momentum carry him in an arc through the air. (50 exp)
- As he comes into the peak of his arc he charges his Beam Life beam, allowing himself to fall and aim it in Sepulchre’s general direction. (50 exp)
- Falling in a graceful arc he aims the beam and distant Sepulchre. Just in time to see him die. (50 exp)

--- Sepulchre dies
- Trailing a waterfall of blood, Sepulchre’s mind goes blank. He can almost sense another rider coming close to his flank. He looks aside and sees the peaceful face of death riding with him. (50 exp)
- The horse rides on and on, down the spine, into forever. (50 exp)
- Sepulchre opens his flaming eyes. The spine of the Dragon stretches onwards. The world rushes ast overhead. He is the ghost horse, and the ghost horse is him. The Nightmare gallops onwards, leaving this cruel world behind. (50 exp)

--- Snels is saved
- POWERLAD lets the Beam Life rune fade and lets himself continue to fall. He couldn’t save Sepulchre, but at least he can save Snels! (50 exp)
- Snels falls, trailing chains, and feels strong arms wrap around him! POWERLAD stretches his wings and bears them both back upwards. The goblins are long gone. (50 exp)
--- Cyrus is killed!
- The undead dragon raises its head skywards, making everyone on top of it hold on for dear life! (50 exp)
- In its mouth Cyrus, still child-sized, struggles to explain to Xe Romantique his plan to use the undead dragon to take down Ereshkigal, preventing the moon from falling and giving Ninhursag the opening it needs to plunge into the world’s core. (50 exp)
- Xe Romantique is in a rage so doesn’t give a shit. They stab him over and over until he explodes! His body bursts into a cloud of green mist, leaving his itty bitty armour and gladius behind. (50 exp)
- Below, POWERLAD sees the gas flowing from the dragon’s jaw as it raises its huge head, then sees it coalesce into a cloud that drifts off towards the north-east and Mt Death Frost. (50 exp)
- The dragon swings its head, Xe Romantique holds onto a tooth for dear life while the skeletons that were attaching them lose their footing and fall towards the distant earth. (50 exp)

--- Cyrus returns?!
- Suddenly Cyrus emerges from a cloud of green mist next to Dumbledorris! She is briefly shocked before he reveals himself to be Galaxy RJ! (50 exp)

- Since he’s still got the form and abilities of Cyrus, he speaks with the voice of the Dead! Holding the monstrance aloft, he commands the great dragon to… dance! (50 exp)
- The undead dragon halts. It begins to shuffle in place! (50 exp)
- Galaxy RJ commands it to wait until it’s voltron’d with all the skeletons forming its new bone body, then head over to defend Ninhursag as it makes the journey towards the prime tentacle. (50 exp)
- Snels starts making a real nasty meal from cheese, garlic, lard and spit for everyone. Much appreciated I'm sure. (50 exp)

--- The fifth trumpet sounds!
- In the distance, the wave of blossoming blackness bursting from the black sun rushes closer and closer. From atop the dragon’s skull, they can see a bow-wave of white flecks breaking before it. The maggots are bursting from the ground as it approaches. (50 exp)
- The haunting howling air-raid siren sound of the ophanim overhead rings out. Wooooooe! Wooooooe! Those who know of such things hear the words in Angelic Binary - “Prophecy confirmed - Trumpet sounded”. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris thinks back to her bible and tells everyone - “locusts!” (50 exp)
- They head down into the skull of the bone dragon to wait out the impossible night. Inside, they realise that  the inside of its head is the true Ossuary of All Bones - the monstrance is a focus for the deathly energies. (50 exp)

- POWERLAD sets a Continual Light inside the dragon’s skull and Cyrus-RJ places the monstrance back in its rightful place within the Ossuary, There they wait until the blackness rushes past, creating the now-familiar effect of a bubble of light surrounded by impenetrable dark. (50 exp)
- It’s not long before they hear the whirring of wings all around. With the wings comes a discordant singing, each voice a single pitch, mixing into a tuneless screaming cacophony. They are out there in the dark, whatever they are. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD’s heartbeat vision reveals a glowing, fizzing, whirring vision like green tv static… until he realises that what he’s truly seeing are the circulatory systems of a million flying creatures, whizzing around and past each other, as far as he can see. (50 exp)
- Just then, seemingly out of nowhere, a small child climbs up into the dragon’s skull! She just managed to get in! (50 exp)
- She asks POWERLAD if he’s POWERLAD and refers to someone called “Mama Bertha” then makes cryptic references to time travel. Who could she be?!
- Hunkered down inside the skull, they feel the dragon begin to move. The dragon’s head turns, deep vibrations marking its titanic footfalls. The party tries to rest, inside the skull of an apocalypse dragon, while the world ends around them. (50 exp)
Total: 3250 exp

- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 850 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Sepulchre - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / ??? - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Romantique - 100 exp)
- Guard (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)
- Tracker (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)
- Art Attack (Carter, Timothy, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza (Charles - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Charles - 500 exp ea.) - Death's Witness bonus (All others - 100 exp) - An Hero bonus (Carter - 200 exp) - Noble Sacrifice bonus (Carter - 1000 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)


Death Toll and Injuries:
- Sepulchre slashed his own wrists and bled out in an attempt to summon forth the soul of a dead dragon... but not before snatching the Ossuary of All Bones in an insane stunt involving a grappling hook, a ghost horse, and the skull of an Apocalypse Dragon.
Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 160818 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp) 
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 53712 (Level up at 72000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp)  
- Timothy / Galaxy RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 42488 (Level up at 72000) 
- Jorge / Oliver Snels, Level 5 Barbarian: 27471 (Level up at 32000)
- Carter / Sepulchre, Level 5 Fighter: 20056 (Level up at 32000)
- Charles, ??? Romantica, Level 5 Barbarian: 16607 (Level up at 32000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian abilities! +backstory!
- Carter / Carter's Elf, Level 2 Elf (Brackenfrau): 4042 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 L1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- James / Abhor Global, Level 6 Extras: 25443 (Level up at 48000) 
- (Styx's Disciples)
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)   
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000) 
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)    
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp) 
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

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