Session 239 - Angel Attrition!

Session 239 - Angel Attrition!

Date:
15 years after the End.

May

New Backstory:
- DJ survived the fire at the pub during that massive carousing session because he was making bathtub booze in the basement. By pure luck, the alleged gin was in fact fire retardant and saved his life! (Once per session, reroll a die)

Character List:

Murders:
- 4 base-tier angels (200 exp)
- 1 second-tier turret angel (100 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Salvage:
- 5 angels, salvaged whole (2500 exp)
Total: 2500 exp

Events:

--- Third of May, Expedition Evening 2: Revenge of the Crabs!
- As they return to their camp in the late afternoon, dragging the angels captured last session behind them, our heroes come across a troubling sight. Their camp has been overrun by stoneshell crabs!

- Two of the tents have crabs rooting around in them for food. Another crab is picking through the fire, accidentally making itself delicious and studiously avoiding looking at another couple of crabs rutting amongst piles of eggs. A sixth crab to the side of the camp spots the party coming in and snip-splutters out some sort of crabby warning!

- DJ points a finger at the watch-crab and levitates them into the air! It warbles out in terror! A second Abducc targets the mating pair and they ascend too, still gamely going at it!
- The crabs in the tents poke their heads out, and the party sees that their mandibles are full of crab meat! They’ve got into the stores and cannibalised their fallen brethren! Such beasts! Zulu theorises that this is their burial ritual, feeling a strange kinship with the crustaceans.
- Andromeda runs in and yells, waving her massive great-hammer around to scare them off, and the creatures flee! They scuttle off sideways into the mist, leaving their compatriots to continue rising slowly into the air.
- She checks inside the tents to see if there’s any food left, and is horrified to find that the tents have been used and there are piles of eggs all over the place. She also discovers that the eggs are actually pretty moreish.
- DJ lets the abducted crabs fall gently. The watch-crab lands and scuttles away as fast as he can, but the other two are captured in the “jizz tent” and held as a breeding pair. More culinary delights for New Moondin!
- Zulu cooks tonight, since Grumpy’s hands are full repairing everyone’s gear as usual. She milks her antelope, squeezes honey from a honey-bun, and combines it all with shredded onion and fried long potato on bread to make “LOBHA”, a sort of eggless french toast. It’s yum! And grants a bonus to Tinkering!

- It starts to rain, and everyone rests well except for Grumpy who spends the night under a Repel Water glyph fixing arms and armour. He really does such a lot for the team.

--- Fourth of May, Expedition Day 3: Saviourbone Storage Solutions
- Dawn breaks to reveal the rain has stopped in the night, replaced once more by the ever-present mists of the Haze. Zulu, grinning, returns to camp with a bucket of fat, wriggling worms! She went out before dawn to collect these nasty tasty boys, mud-dwelling Slopworm. She read in a book that they’re delicious!

- DJ goes to collect his repaired gear and laughs at how tired Grumpy is, managing to be both racist and ungrateful with his apology. Grumpy wonders why he bothers.
- Andromeda takes her top off and preaches the power of POWERLAD beneath the stormy storm-shell above. The party listens and watches appreciatively, the experience marred only by the sound of Dargo retching up chunks of his clay-like body into cups.
- It’s decided to take the angels and the captured crabs to the Saviourbone Mine for storage while they head back to the Seraphim. Every angel captured is one less inside, so they can wear the base down if they’re careful about it.

- On the way to the Mine beneath the dragon skeleton, they cross paths with some very strange tracks. Bulbous footprints and the occasional handprint. Odd, but not odd enough to investigate.
- They reach the Mine and are greeted by a spider-priest calling himself, of course, Arnold Nonimus. They dig a hole for the crabs and store the angels here, also getting prices for shipping the stuff back to New Moondin. Fairly reasonable! Then they head back to their camp and out to the Crashed Seraphim.

--- Back to the Angel Base
- There are no guards around the Seraphim as they approach. They enter carefully to make sure Zulu’s demon-born body isn’t destroyed by being inside the angel. She’s not! Success! Zulu rides her antelope in too, hooves clacking off the metal floor.
- Andromeda takes point, heading left towards the angel upgrade section. The glow of a large screen reveals a choir of 4 spherical angels and a single upgraded turret-mode angel. Two of the base angels are plugged into a console, singing quietly.
- Zulu kicks her antelope into a gallop, charging straight for the gunner angel! She misses and rides past, turning for another charge. DJ and Andromeda quietly rush towards the closest plugged-in angel and smack it with hammer and ball-peen, destroying it!

- Dargo, unwilling to get close to the angels, fires from a distance as Grumpy charges at two of the angels with his glaive, screaming bloody murder.
- The alarm is raised by the gunner and it orders its minions to swap to hammers - better armaments against the assaulting forces. There is a deep rumbling as the Seraphim sings its way to alert status.
- Andromeda and DJ close in on Grumpy’s assailants, destroying one as he slices through one with his glaive. Zulu charges down the last base-tier angel, breaking it on the horns of her antelope, and wheels towards the gunner again.
- They meet at the gunner in one great charge, Zulu smashing it off balance from her steed before Andromeda and DJ boost Grumpy glaive-first into its heart! The gunner collapses, song cut short… but its song yet echoes around the massive chamber. More of them are coming.

--- The Way Out is Through!
- Gunner angels appear from the opposite side of the chamber and fire on the party! Zulu and DJ charge in, but they realise that there are far more coming from the chamber beyond.
- Grumpy messes with the upgrade consoles, breaking off a USB in the connection port and tinkering a DoS attack to prevent angel upgrades from processing for a day or so.
- The angels acquire a target and beams flash out at DJ, tearing through his armour as he dodges, and spherical units roll out and smack him with hammers!
- He recovers and breathes out his signature chillwave from his bong-peen hammer, chilling out everyone in the room. It’s careful, considered, peaceful action-stations for Andromeda who goes about annointing the peaceful congregation with “friendship oil”.
- Suddenly a pair of beams lance out from the hallway, out of range of the chill-mist, searing her leg! A third-tier Ophanim has fired into the peace zone, breaking the effects!
- The party’s morale breaks. There are too many - it’s time to go! Zulu defends Andromeda and DJ heals her as she calls forth a Storm Shell, taking more blows for his trouble. Grumpy uses a Take Lightning glyph to create a hole through the lightning shield and the party fall back in good order.
- They grab the angel corpses and make for the exit - any angels left behind will be repaired and make this all a waste of time. Dargo squirms into a fairly intact angel and hamster-balls it out of there.

- To his horror, the exit room is full of angels! They’re getting pincered! All their eyes focus on him and their beam-cannons begin powering up… but Zulu rides past him with DJ behind her! DJ breathes out another chill zone and deactivates the kill box.
- The party runs out piecemeal, Grumpy bringing up the rear. Dargo chucks a few of his chaos-mud vials around to distract them when they come to as he goes past. They escape into the mists, back towards their camp, angels foiled once again!

Total: 1550 exp

Team Bonus:
- Balls to the Wall bonus
- Best of Intentions bonus
- Better Part of Valour bonus
- Brutal Kill bonus
- Coitus boners
- Classic Charles bonus
- Dramatic Battle bonus
- Dramatic Escape bonus
- Fame bonus
- Heresy bonus
- High as Fuck bonus
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus
- Long Deliberation bonus
- Masterchef bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- Tactical Fighting bonus
Total: 800 exp

Individual Bonus:
- Chronicler (Carter / Grumpy - 100 exp)
- Expedition Leader (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Cartographer (Carter / Grumpy - 100 exp)
- Paymaster (Charles / DJ - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Zulu - 100 exp)
- Vanguard (Russell / Dargo - 100 exp)
- Triage (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Chef (Russell / Dargo - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Ollie, Charles, Kitty - 500 exp ea.)
- Chippo Champion bonus (Ollie*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Charles - 100 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 6 Laddite Cleric: 50009 (Level up at 56000)

- Charles / Dustin Johnson, Level 6 Intergalacticist Cleric: 33502 (Level up at 56000)

- Carter / Granite "Grumpy" Ironjaw, Level 5 Warden Dwarf: 30166 (Level up at 35200)

- Ollie / Zulu Snakebite, Level 5 Barbarian: 28893 (Level up at 32000)

- Russell / Dargo, Level 3 Inheritor: 4774 (Level up at 9000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Capacity! +Backstory!