Tuesday 28 September 2021

Session 299 - A Hell of Pure Imagination

Date: July 9th, 14 p.p.
Moon: Waxing Crescent
Zenith: Alaunus


New Backstory
Iskander had his first water-based battle and was washed away, thankfully he washed up in a big pile of treasure and now loves the waves! +1 Piloting




Events:

--- Hellworld
- After Iskander put a ring on a corpse's finger and opened a portal to hell, our heroes gaze into the screaming portal and wonder wtf they should do.
- Celebus ties a skeleton to a string and sends it in there. Most ominously the skeleton is somehow walking towards the party, but away. The landscape within is pitted and scarred with craters, ending at a cliff edge with a metal gazebo built onto and over it. 
- When Celebus pulls the skeleton back it's cold, but unharmed.
- Swan is first to walk through the portal and is similarly backwards-turned despite intending to move forward. In the background behind the portal is a vast crumbling yellow city. 
- Battleflies - twitching curling gossamer butterfly creatures - appear in the air and approach chattering. These are real somehow, not the papier mache constructs fought in the house they've just left.
- The rest of the party follow on, talking to the battleflies who will show them the master of this place.

--- The Dread Gazebo
- They backwards-forwards walk towards the gazebo on the cliff edge, warned in advance by the battleflies that the craters are full of slugs. Iskander offers Swan the Swift a swig of his chaos-resistance tequila and Swanny chugs the lot. Swannyyy!
- Inside the gazebo is a man whose skin is stretched across a metal machine and whose brain is being drilled into, sucked out, and recirculated. He's in pain... but it's worth it because this machine allows him to make his thoughts into reality! At least in this reality. This is indeed Bashir the painter who abandoned his home for this one, using his wife as a grim catalyst.
- He asks about whether the party has met the Bone Lord, and when asked what the Bone Lord looks like he conjures a giant skeleton from Celebus' skeleton. Bits of brain-stuff clearly evaporate as he does so.
- Swan requests a magic sword, using his sword as a vessel, and gains a legendary sword! It looks rad as hell.
- The party notice that the portal is clearly flickering as Bashir's brain evaporates from their requests. Time to go!
- They reverse-walk back to the portal, and in one last act Celebus reanimates the corpse of Bashir's wife and sends it into the portal to be with Bashir one last time. The portal flickers shut... but they hear Bashir's imagined version of his wife yelling at him shrilly.




--- I'm Seeing Double Here!
- They leave and the creepy skull spider guy marking their tests reveals that they passed it! They're clearly heroes! Or at the very least pretty well versed in weird shit. His name is Terrence Skull, and he leads them through the black market to meet the Bone Lord...
- Also the black market looks pretty awesome as they pass through. They'll come back for admin for sure.
- They are led through to a spooky cathedral filled with bones! It's like the Paris catacombs in there. And amongst the bones, sitting on a bone throne, is none other than Guido! Yes, fan favourite giant skeleton friend has returned as the Bone Lord! The exact opposite of the Meat Lord!
- Also here is... another giant skeleton? It's easy to ascertain his name of GORATH because he yells it at every opportunity! And finally, the Flayed King! Once protected by GORATH, now taken to the Meatlands to help fix his flayed condition. He still looks like his skin is kind of droopy and buttoned on, but it's better with Meatland Magic to help stick him back together.
- It was useful for GORATH to turn up, because it means that Guido in his guise as the Bone Lord can do seditious anti-Meat Lord activities in one area while having a perfect alibi in another area. After all, there wouldn't be two giant skeletons right? The Flayed King is more on the admin side.
- Guido reveals that he's feuding with the Meat Lord, who hoards clean meat for his most favoured subjects and lets everyone else mutate on random meaty morsels they find in the greater meatlands. It's not right! The Meat Lord must be stopped!






--- Heist Planning
- Going by the Bone Lord's plan, there are several places that can be struck by a small committed team in order to destabilise the Meat Lord and make an eventual assault on the Meat Lord's massive T-bone steak palace more likely to succeed.
- The plan currently seems to be a three part process. Infiltrate and steal a Meat Mech from the Meat Mech Hangar. Use the Meat Mech to catch a Chaos Worm out in the meatlands. Use the Chaos Worm to dig under the Bank (which is a huge pig) and do a heist from the inside, stealing the Meat Lord's clean meat stash and making the populace turn against him.
- Since this is a lot of DM prep, they decide to head out into the black market and see what they can get there.

--- Black Market
- The stalls of the black market are many, but several stick out. The soul seller - great for Necromancers. The seed bank, which piques Swan the Swift's interest. Clean Meat sellers, ever important and extortionate. And an Illmonger, who sells sicknesses. The party loads up on various bits and pieces, Swan the Swift especially getting some wheat seeds so he can begin his Meatlands-to-Wheatlands plan.

--- The Mad Scientist
- Finally they head over to the Mad Scientist who they briefly met last session, who has a variety of increasingly bizarre guns. They ask him to create a bag gun that can capture a Chaos Worm and, intrigued by the challenge, he gets to work!

Total: 7000 exp


Treasure:
- A vial of purified Azoth (100 exp)
- Various bits and bobs from the black market
Total: 100 exp


Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 5 Barbarian: 30323 (Level up at 32000)
- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 5 Fighter: 20127 (Level up at 32000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 4 Necromancer: 17848 (Level up at 18000)
- Kitty / Amanta, Level 5 Mantis Specialist: 15106 (Level up at 28000)
Level up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Improved Saves! +Backstory!








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