Halls of the Dead

Death Count: 113




  1. Olaf Tenderloin, Level 2 Dwarf. Kidney forcibly removed by giant rhinoceros beetle. Wound sewn shut by passing taxidermist/assassin. Died of his wounds.
  2. Baron Noel Pompadour, Level 1 Specialist. Arm broken by Mist Urman's flail while under the influence of an aura of rage. Died of his wounds.
  3. Keith, Level 3 Specialist. Death by rampaging demon-thing formed of human carcasses.
  4. Kacey Demure, Level 2 Specialist. Could not take life without Keith, immolated self and demon-thing by igniting staggering number of flammable materials on person.
  5. Argan, Level 2 Fighter. Died frothing from the mouth beside the corpse of a friend who tried to kill him and a couple of bickering strangers in the depths of the earth.
  6. Ameight, Level 1 Fighter. Encased in an amber shell and later devoured by the gigantic pit fiend of Caspian's Delve.
  7. Alan the Barbarian, Level 2 Barbarian. Cloven in twain in a deadly battle versus a demon-knight in armour of darkest black.
  8. Tub, Level 2 Goblin. Pulled a miniature black hole from a gem that was actually a wormhole. Fled as fast as his little legs could carry him, but his legs were indeed too little and it sucked him up.
  9. Unnamed, Level 1 Magic User. Accidentally summoned a demon into his flesh, was neutralised before it could kill everyone.
  10. Arnold, Level 1 Goblin. Torn into pieces by a huge mold-infested amphibian that parroted the terrified final screams of its victims, but not before he taught it to say "I'm a big scary monster, run away!"
  11. Kronk, Level 1 Barbarian. Dragged beneath a filthy underground stream by a giant leech monster with multiple arms and a bad attitude. Drowned, but avenged his own death by ripping it in half with the last of his strength.
  12. Croick, Level 1 Fighter. Trapped inside a magic mirror, shattered into pieces during his companion's attempts to save him.
  13. Balthizar the Name Unconfirmed Scottish Dwarf, Level 2 Dwarf. Threw a huge yellow mold bomb in order to kill a legion of strimmer ants, jumped into the Royal Jelly vat beneath their queen to escape blast, drowned in the thick treacle.
  14. Zed, Level 1 Fighter. Jumped into the big vat of Royal Jelly to avoid strimmer ants and mold bomb, drowned in the thick treacle.
  15. Mushroom Lover, Level 5 Elf. Used shadowy Elf ability to leap into a shadow and emerge from another nearby, attempting to cut the control thread connected to the Queen. Emerged to a Queen that was already dying... and a lungful of Yellow Mold.
  16. Punchfist van Hit, Level 2 Muscle Wizard. Used newly invented spell to punch self 12 seconds into the future and avoid blastwave, reappeared in time to choke to death on deadly Yellow Mold.
  17. Gtuzk, Level 1 Goblin. Looted a sleeping dwarf and got bitten by a mildly poisonous giant centipede hiding in the dwarf's backpack. Embarrassingly, died.
  18. Davril Burtey of Thujin Veil, Level 1 Magic User. Shanked a wizard in a wall of fog despite lack of provocation but was thrown into the water. Devoured by a giant 3-metre pike after putting out its eye.
  19. Dwain William Arthus Remus Froide, Level 2 Dwarf. Lowered into the void beneath the Earth whilst clinging to an enormous chain. Kept going downwards for half an hour, was eaten by an enormous creature before he could get back up.
  20. Titus DeCosta, Level 2 Cleric. Was informed by judgemental chemical women that he could reach a great treasure trove if he accomplished a leap of faith into the void beneath the Earth. They lied.
  21. Jack "Danger" Wilbur, Level 1 Fighter. Went down fighting as he fought the chemical women, their strange chemistry twisting his lower body into dark stone and shattering him into pieces.
  22. Fungonius, Level 5 Cleric. Asked toxic beings from the elemental plane of poison to coat his blade in a poison so virulent that it can kill anything is touches, accidentally released said toxic beings and exploded in a cloud of poison so virulent it can kill everything it touches.
  23. Malanth, Level 1 Elf. Chopped a henchman in two to stop him turning into a cancerous monster. Yellowy worm-filled pus spewed out all over him, mutating him into the very thing he was trying to prevent.
  24. Jumurak, Level 1 Muscle Wizard. Exploded into tongues after arm invaded by a child's severed genitals.
  25. Alice, Level 2 Specialist. Exploded into tongues after swallowing a child's severed tongue.
  26. Wolfgang Brown Grylls, Level 2 Muscle Wizard. Stung to death by scorpion tails on a mutant's back.
  27. Hamish the Humble, Level 1 Fighter. Shanked nearly to death by skeletons then sacrificed to summon the Demon of the Rave Unstoppable.
  28. Sparky, Level 2 Magic User. Destroyed by a chaos of elemental traps before his cat exploded into demons.
  29. Bohemund, Level 2 Barbarian. Accidentally summoned a ball of magma into his mouth instead of air in a horrible rune dyslexia accident.
  30. Murdus, Level 1 Goblin. Sucked into a portal by an angry demon in a horrible summoning accident.
  31. Nora, Level 1 Specialist. Killed in a great explosion when Gashbringer decided it'd be a good idea to play random keys on the puzzle organ.
  32. Gashbringer, Level 1 Barbarian. Killed in a great explosion when he decided it'd be a good idea to play random keys on the puzzle organ.
  33. Dr. Witsk von Held, Level 1 Specialist. Ribcage crushed in by Stabbington as a result of a botched attempt at First Aid.
  34. Calen, Level 2 Halfling. Bitten in the face by a giant spider, died frothing from the mouth as the poison souped his innards. Rebirthed in dungeon, went insane.
  35. Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist. Arm ripped off at the shoulder by grey-skinned goblins with eyes of the void. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  36. Sophia, Level 3 Necromancer. Carried off by a jagged-limbed flying witch lady to be feasted upon. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  37. Guyphy, Level 1 Elf. Absolutely melted by mushroom man poison. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  38. Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman. Died choking on own blood after being nailed by countless poison needles. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  39. Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman. Exploded by a massive fireball. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  40. Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman. Pregnant from rebirth mutation, died in childbirth. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  41. Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman. Died in childbirth again. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  42. Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist. Overwhelmed and digested by acidic blobs. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  43. Shiz Nittlebam, Level 1 Magic User. Burned slowly to death when a room of flammable oil was detonated by a fireball-shooting blob. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  44. Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist. Heart explosively burst from chest after passing between some strange fleshy pillars. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  45. Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist. Hurt badly in an explosion and knew her death was near, so threw herself into the flames. Rebirthed in dungeon.
  46. Ludovico, Level 2 Magic User. Savaged to death by possessed furniture.
  47. Rollo, Level 1 Goblin. Arm bitten off by possessed armoire, put out of his misery by stoving in his head with a giant pie.
  48. Gehn, Level 1 Specialist. Pelvis shattered by Donald Trump's pussy-grab attack.
  49. Gastron Bistro, Level 4 Barbarian. Jumped on the back of a frog monster and rode it down into the watery depths, subsequently used as a living womb for horrific froggy life.
  50. Ratt LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman. Attempted rescue mission of Gastron by using Eleyn as a submersible, subsequently also became a living womb of the frog monsters.
  51. Eleyn, Level 5 Vagina Monster. Used as a submersible in doomed Gastron rescue mission, now the best living womb the frog monsters have ever had.
  52. Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 3 Specialist. Fell 60ft onto jagged rocks and broke every single bone in his body.
  53. Douglas Dougle, Level 1 Halfling. Drowned in shit.
  54. Lorrick, Level 3 Magic-User. Jaw torn off and skull crushed by the tender ministrations of an enormous clay hand.
  55. Zan, Level 7 Cleric. Fought a rearguard against an army of skeletons before finally succumbing.
  56. Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf. Neck snapped against a wall by a giant clay arm.
  57. Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer. Crushed by a giant clay thumb.
  58. POWERMAN, Level 5 Fighter. Nearly died of hypothermia before his skull getting crushed by a giant clay finger.
  59. Jade, Level 5 Elf. Frozen from within by an undead Inquisitor's icy questioning.
  60. Svetnir, Level 4 Goblin. Bled out after getting squished by a giant clay finger.
  61. Lorrick Jr, Level 2 Magic User. Stabbed to death by skeletons after spending most of combat vomiting out one long eel with his dad's face.
  62. Dante, Level 2 Elf. Knocked out by skeletons then stabbed to death.
  63. Kuan-Tim, Level 1 Specialist. Smooshed by giant clay finger.
  64. POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard. Throat slit by despairing woman, Catelyn Stark style. Time Loop reset.
  65. Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist. Slit own throat while looking into the eyes of the guy with all the treasure, knowing full well the treasure is kept by the guy who dies. Time Loop reset.
  66. Svolich, Level 2 Specialist. Went to sleep snuggling up to a knife-legged brain-sucking possibly-demonic deer monster and had his brain sucked out to nobody's surprise but his own.
  67. Captain Book, Level 4 Specialist. Murdered in cold blood by fellow adventurer Blue John after his addictive mould sickness started getting a little too infectious.
  68. ZARAT, Level 3 Ratman. Joined with his fellow mould addicts in Moondin's cathedral, together and at peace forever.
  69. Mairead, Level 3 Specialist. Smashed into a giant egg at terminal velocity, destroying it.
  70. Banjo Fishwick, Level 4 Specialist. Blew himself up while committing the brutal act of terrorism known as the Arena Explosion Disaster..
  71. Gryph Bodhammer, Level 1 Necromancer. Died in the Arena Explosion Disaster perpetrated by Andromeda Spiderbite and Banjo Fishwick
  72. Hacker's Halberdiers, Level 1 Extras. Pulled underwater one by one as they attempted to swim across a zombie-infested swamp
  73. Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter. Followed a suspiciously kelpie-like water horse into a lake, where he was drowned by nixies.
  74. Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User. Willingly sacrificed body and soul to become the vessel for a new Baba Yaga. Reborn as cackling NPC super-witch "Baba Jon".
  75. Jack Hacker, Level 5 Specialist. Stuck her whole arm into the mouth of a Necromancer who was a boneless bag of skin. Lost all skin on her arm. Committed suicide before the Necromancer could eat the rest of her skin.
  76. Ignatius Darke, Level 3 Necromancer. Ran screaming into the dead-haunted halls of the Barrowmaze, never to be seen again.
  77. Dr Maybe, Level 2 Magic-User. Devoured by his colleagues after a spell went horribly Wrong.
  78. Insanity Mammoth, Level 4 Barbarian. Stabbed through the head by Chiffon after being tackled into a pit to save others from his rage.
  79. Chiffon, Level 4 Elf. Dismembered by the enraged Insanity Mammoth after stabbing him through the head in an effort to save others from his rage.
  80. Loki Axefuck, Level 1 Elf. Turned himself and the mad boar he was riding into orange goop via an unlucky Chaos Burst
  81. Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Elf. Executed for crimes against the state, destroying everything around her in holy fire as her last act.
  82. Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian. Bitten by a giant spider then sucked dry by a giant leech in a failed attempt to suck out the venom.
  83. Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard. Bitten by a giant spider trying to protect Nix, died from spider venom in POWERLAD's arms.
  84. Meric, Level 3 Cleric. Snap-frozen and shattered into a thousand thousand pieces due to a tragic rune accident.
  85. Violet, Level 2 Necromancer. Devoured by Ninhursag as a scapegoat for a murder she didn't commit.
  86. Dumbledorris, Level 1 Magic User. Accidentally ripped open by friendly spiders who were just trying to help.
  87. Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Elf. Torn to shreds by a pack of demons that chased him through the Breach between Edge and Dwarrow, although it was truly his host Coalminer Dan who died.
  88. Spiderkids, Level 4 Extras. Devoured by a swarm of giant fire-covered ticks, survived by RJ the katana-wielding weaboo 
  89. Zena, Level 7 Fighter. Gave her body and soul over to an alien intelligence, tearing her very being apart at the molecular level. Galaxy Johnson reborn from the soul-wreckage.
  90. Adam Snels, Level 2 Fighter. Remade into a statue that speaks only in Psalms.
  91. William Fox-Pipp, Level 3 Cleric. Blasted into oblivion by angel beams after insulting a god.
  92. Il Romantico, Level 1 Barbarian. Broke his leg in a fall then finished off when a dragon-cultist’s gravity breath tore off his jaw.
  93. El Romantico, Level 1 Barbarian. Stabbed to death but snapped his killer’s neck anyway
  94. Sepulchre, Level 5 Fighter. Slashed his own wrists and bled out in an attempt to summon forth the soul of a dead dragon... but not before snatching the Ossuary of All Bones in an insane stunt involving a grappling hook, a ghost horse, and the skull of an Apocalypse Dragon
  95. Oliver Snels, Level 5 Barbarian. Plummeted into the core of the earth and destroyed the canister of omnipoison around Apocalypse Dragon Ninhursag's neck, releasing the gas which annihalated the entirety of Shub-Niggurath and almost all life on Earth.
  96. Sophia, Level 3 Elf. Taunted a host of flying Elves and was blasted apart under a cavalcade of Magic Missiles.
  97. Jasmine, Level 4 Elf. Hunted down by the Wild Hunt for the crime of eating an Elf Heart.
  98. The Witchfound Captain, Level 3 Necromancer. Burned to death when his pistol exploded in his hand.
  99. Abraxas, Level 1 Magic User. Killed when a marble-skinned woman erupted from his skull and bathed in his brain matter.
  100. Ratboy, Level 1 Ratman. A poor unassuming ratman shot to death when he approached a camp at night.
  101. Luna, level 3 Necromancer. Sucked dry by a vampire called Fanx.
  102. New Moondin Lost Boys, level 6 Extras, succumbed in battle to the carcinogenic blast of a radiation-cannon.
  103. Flowers Penurious, level 5 Specialist, mercy-sucked by the vampire-cleric and fellow PC; Andromeda 237-B.
  104. Dustin Johnson, level 8 Cleric, ascended to godhood after fusing with Galaxy Johnson. Dustin’s body floats slowly upward at 10' round into space. 
  105. Dargo, level 6 Inheritor. Sacrificed himself to contain a cataclysmic battle between a godlike artificial intelligence and a time-travelling wizard-lawyer, in the process mutating into the Dharga, a colossal and fleshy, mutagenic Yggdrasil. 
  106. Wormwood, level 4 Inheritor, erased from reality by the psychic screams of a dwarven moon-ghost.
  107. Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, level 7 Cleric. Trapped forever in the mirror dimension and replaced by his alternate universe self - Kandy Toffee-Apple Moon d’Moor.
  108. Police, level 1 Halfling. Chopped up by draugr but in his death throes memed his consciousness into a nearby goat. 
  109. Liber Quint, Level 3 Bibliognost. Miscast a spell while attempting to escape from the clutches of a giant cave-mantis, dying in the chaos-burst only to be reincarnated as a mantis-woman.
  110. Tinker-Rat, level 1 Ratman. De-faced in the meaty sewers of Salivasburger. His body is eaten by his rat friends while the rest of the party assume he returned to live a happy life with his own kind. 
  111. The Meat-Up, Level 4 Extras. Disbanded when Meat-Up member and baker-philosopher; Archikneades is slowly impaled with his own baguette during a life-or-death wrestle with a ratman. 
  112. Amanta, Level 6 Mantis Specialist. Ate an obviously poisoned cake hoping that it would grant her special powers. 
  113. Didogenes, Level 3 Fighter. Exsanguinated by piloted, biomechanical mosquitoes.

                                                                                                                                2 comments:

                                                                                                                                1. That's a lot of dead specialists. Do you have a lot of those or are they just particularly fragile? I'd be interested to see which classes have the best survivability.

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                                                                                                                                  1. The unfortunate fact is that these metrics were fucked up a bit during the infamous "Vagina Dungeon" aka the Slaughtergrid where the dead would immediately respawn with mutations.
                                                                                                                                    Tom, our least careful player, died over and over in there. You will see Eleyn mentioned several times in the listing above! He also favours Specialists... which really rigs the death count in his favour!

                                                                                                                                    Same with the Ratman death count, poor old Ratt LeBlanc died several times over in childbirth in that very same dungeon.

                                                                                                                                    There are some other metrics in this sheet that you might find interesting, though I don't update it religiously!
                                                                                                                                    https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1SalEq96DE03AjtEbLds7uibMHQ9wAq2zHsFH2CgLL6s/edit?usp=sharing

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