Saturday, 30 September 2017

Session 152 - Backdoor Bandits

Session 152 - Backdoor Bandits

Campaign Date:
Monday, 3 October, 1600
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

Enemies Defeated:
- 4 huge leeches (100 exp)
- 2 grub-infested corpses (150 exp)
- 2 strange super zombies (100 exp)
Total: 350 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A runic tablet
- A few well-arguedly valuable chunks of ancient mosaic (44856 exp)
Total: 44856 exp

Exploration:- First to enter the Folded Fortress of Ereshkigal (500 exp)- First to enter Area 3 of the Barrowmaze (300 exp)
- Alternate entrance to Area 3 of the Barrowmaze discovered (300 exp)
- Secret door found (50 exp)
- Explored 6 dungeon rooms (120 exp)
- Wandering monster rolled (50 exp)
Total: 1420 exp

Events:
--- A pre-game sidequest
- We're back! And as players filter in, Tom takes Insanity Mammoth for a trip to investigate the lair of the Gravity Dragon (50 exp)
- It is a huge chunk of floating mountain, the coils of the black dragon Ereshkigal emerging from the grey stone. It is surrounded by floating boulders and spacial anomalies and waterfalls flowing upwards and winged silhouettes. Proper shit. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth trudges in from the forest. Around him, grubby Halflings with bows keep pace. They wave him along towards the mountain. (50 exp)
- As he gets close, Insanity Mammoth swoops down from above on booming wings! The two Insanity Mammoths behold each other. (50 exp)
- "Hail, brother!" he booms in a voice that rumbles like distant thunder, "which iteration are you?!". Pale light glows from within him, orange glowing between his black scales and light shining from his eyes and mouth with every syllable. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth, our Insanity Mammoth, requests an audience with the Gravity Dragon. The winged Insanity Mammoth obliges, flying him up to the floating mountain and leading him blindfolded (to prevent the non-euclidean geometries driving him mad) to the great head of the dragon itself. (50 exp)
- Head dragonpriests POWERLAD and Andromeda greet him as the blindfold is removed. They, too, have wings and scales, although theirs are glossy black like the scales of Ereshkigal itself. They allow Insanity Mammoth to place his hand on Ereshkigal's brow, and he is inducted into the Cult. (50 exp)
- Bound by taboos and restrictions, yet gaining new abilities, Insanity Mammoth gains a bond with the dragon! So far - he has an affinity for the Mass rune, and so can power a glyph containing such a rune with a single action. (50 exp)
--- Some weeks later
- Insanity Mammoth turns up at Helix and meets up with the rest of that party. Big reunion! (50 exp)
- They restock on necessaries, Insanity Mammoth extorts protection money from Tom's other character Spicy Mac, and a mad old man called Alastair passes on a message that a mysterious benefactor will pay money if they complete a particular quest. (50 exp)
- The mysterious benefactor is blatantly Cardinal Scream and he wants several rooms in the Chaos Sephulchre of Barrowmaze to be mapped. Quest log updated. (50 exp)
- After hearing some rumours in town, the party head off on Grim Charlie's fast travel wagon. Nix suspects that the Chaos Sephulchre is below a particular sealed barrow, and so the party heave in with sledgehammers. (50 exp)
- Behind the great stone seal is a smaller bronze door with the symbol of Nergal embossed upon it. Beyond... a still black pool and mosaics depicting skulls, bones, and an army of skeletons fighting a dragon. (50 exp)
- Wading into the bath-warm water and inspecting the pool carefully with a 10' pole, a hole is found in the exact centre of the pool. It seems to go down a good way. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth tries to deface the mosaics but is prevented by Nix! Later, when Nix is distracted, he smashes them anyway and grabs some chunks. (50 exp)
- Nix scratches a Take-Light-Cold glyph into a rock and uses it to absorb the water from the room. Neat! Then she goes outside and chucks it at another barrow. When the connection breaks, all the water bursts out in a huge tsunami! (50 exp)
- The hole ends up leading down to a very similar room to the one above. POWERLAD and Zena get to work sucking up all that water too. A couple more rune tsunamis (runeamis?) later and the place is pretty well dry! (50 exp)
- Some stairs down are revealed, alternate entrance found! (50 exp)
- Slippery algae-covered stairs lead to the reverse side of a secret door! Past the door, a damp room with a sort of well in the middle. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth just jumps straight in. It's not too deep... but something's wrong... (50 exp)
- He emerges from the well covered in GIANT leeches. Like the size of a lapdog. They suck at his juicy flesh. (50 exp)
- Zena burns off a leech with a torch, it drops to the floor and begins leech-flopping around. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth rages! He slams into the floor, crushing the leeches between him and the stone. Nice! Unfortunately it hurts him too as the leech-corpses are driven into his body. Ouch. (50 exp)
- Carrie's bondage slave dudes wrestle one of the leeches off Insanity Mammoth as Carrie begins casting a spell. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD tries to stomp the leech on the ground but misses and it grapples onto him! But Nix casts a Make-Cold-Cold glyph and ice-punches the leech into fragments! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth has one leech left on him, and deals with it by slamming his body into a nearby door! He busts through into a room with two mummy-like corpses on stone slabs. (50 exp)
- He's on 0HP now and begins racking up the Pain tokens, while simultaneously running out of Rage. The maggot-infested corpses rise, and Insanity Mammoth recognises them as Sons of Kyuss - rot grub infested Dead that a band is named after. (50 exp)
- Insanity bodyslams a dead guy, weirdly humping him. Nix busts in, sees the troubling and sexually confusing scene, and decides to help with an ice punch. (50 exp)
- Zena lobs oil at one of the maggoty Dead, and when it tries to escape the oil patch she kicks it back in. POWERLAD lights up the oil and the maggots are crisped! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth tries to help but stumbles into the fire and screams as his legs are burnt! He falls to the ground, pretty much fucked. (50 exp)
- Nix ground-pounds with the frost punch, eliminating the fire and saving Insanity Mammoth! Nice! He's got 2nd degree burns and is in a lot of pain. Luckily Carrie is ready with a Cure Light Wounds that stabilises him. (50 exp)
- But the Sons of Kyuss are still up and about. Nix gets punched in the back, and feels grubs burrowing into her flesh! Oh shit! 30 minutes until they reach her heart! (50 exp)
- Luckily a few people have heard of these things before. Even more luckily, Carrie is a high level Cleric with access to Cure Disease which kills them! (50 exp)
-The Sons of Kyuss bring Insanity Mammoth to 0HP again and he begins to bleed heavily, but uses the gout of blood to propel his knee into the last one's belly! What a kill! (50 exp)
- The party recover, finding fuck all treasure unfortunately. Insanity Mammoth is re-healed and the maggots burrowing their way to Nix's heart are wiped out with Cure Disease. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- While they're patching themselves up, a couple of zombies wander into the room. POWERLAD is first into the breach, smashing one to pieces with a double hammer attack! (50 exp)
- Zena thrusts in with a polearm at the other... and its eyes glow red, its muscles bulk up, and a long tongue uncoils from its mouth. Some sort of super zombie! It grabs the haft of her weapon and laughs! (50 exp)
- ...but then Carrie's Turn Undead goes off and it runs away howling. Some super zombie he was. Zena javelins it with her polearm... and it's not dead yet. It keeps running with the halberd in it. (50 exp)
- Luckily Chiffon is here to sprint in and FINISH HIM! He rips the halberd out and the zombie falls over dead. (50 exp)
- A last little look around reveals a room that contains a runic tablet! Insanity Mammoth, as ever, rushes in. He gets zapped for his trouble, but gains the tablet! He reads it and gains a one-use auto-save against a future saving throw. (50 exp)
- Dirty and exhausted, the party climb back up out of the Barrowmaze and head back to Helix. A fairly unsuccessful delve, until some
 heavy out-of-game research into historical mosaic pricing reveals that the mosaic chunks are really very valuable! Score! (50 exp)
Total: 2050 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Insanity Mammoth - 100 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Insanity Mammoth - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Tom - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Kitty - 500 exp ea)

Rumours:
Those killed in the Barrowmaze soon become imbued with a terrible parody of life!
- The Nyctites of Necropolis, those weirdo artist Necromancers, bought a painting called for a record price at auction. It's called False Chantarelle and it's not even that good!
- The Chosen, a rebellious offshoot of the Ancients struck down long ago, are still buried somewhere in the Barrowmaze.
- Once, long ago, a great warrior and his retinue went into the Barrowmaze with a white orb of holy power to close the Pit of Souls once and for all. They never returned.
- That statue of Oberon in the forest is blatantly Herne the Hunter. The pitiable Nonanists believe he gives them greater skill in the hunt!
- There is a great Pit of Souls in the Barrowmaze, its magic is what causes the Dead to rise spontaneously across all Loegria! Destroy it and that will stop!

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 348sp. (Zena's Stake: 232sp, Carrie's Stake: 116sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 4000sp.

Out of Action:
- Gimlass. Broken Collarbone. Healed by: 2nd November 1660.
- Insanity Mammoth: Second Degree Burns on legs. Healed by: 17th October 1660
Death Toll and Injuries:
- Insanity Mammoth, second degree burns after falling into a fire.
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 48010 (Level up at 64000)- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 44270 (Level up at 72000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +improved saves! +1 level 3 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 39105 (Level up at 64000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumbles! +backstory!
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 24337 (Level up at 28000)- James / Chiffon, Level 4 Elf (Canny Childe): 13945 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +improved saves! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 4 Barbarian: 13905 (Level up at 16000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Levelup Table! +Rage duration! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:Nix's Retainer--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

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