Wednesday 12 December 2018

Session 208 - Counter-revolution!

Our heroes act fast to crush the rebellion, while our other hero Snels nearly gets himself murdered by angels. Intra-party intrigue seems to be a continuing spicy theme, delicious. And also on intra-party intrigue, I absolutely love that Kitty's managed to create a dramatic love triangle between her own characters! What's going to happen next in the real life POWERLAD romance drama?!

See you lot tonight!


- Charles' latest plan for saving the world



- Just the best meme Session 208 - Counter-revolution!

Campaign Date:
Monday 8th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zenith: Dispater
Zodiac: Taurus
Treasure and Equipment:
-
Total: 0 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- The Resistance cell leader at Bank (100 exp)
- Ten or so rebels, gassed. (100 exp)
Total: 100 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled around Fate (100 exp)
- Found specialist shop The Emporium of the Odd (100 exp)
Total: 200 exp

Events:
--- To All-Prayer!
- The morning after the assault on the drakencult in St Ballache’s, Andromeda and the many journalists of Abhor Global emerge from their quarters near St Cuthbert’s hospital. (50 exp)
- With All-Prayer under Loyalist control, they’ve heard about a special shop selling potions - the Emporium of the Odd. (50 exp)
- The travel to All-Prayer via a bunch of changeovers since the Inner Circle line is infested with Resistance and real fucking slow as a result. They arrive soon enough. (50 exp)
- Armed guards accost them at the station, asking for information on the Explosion Dragon attack on Forge. Andromeda agrees to help and is told to come to the police station at 4:30, the guard pointing to a blue police box nearby which will take her to the police station. (50 exp)



--- The Emporium of the Odd
- Taking their leave for now, and meeting El Romantico on the way, they follow their directions to the Emporium. (50 exp)
- Inside, behind a bead curtain in an incense-scented room, is the proprietor Harry Flash! He explains in exuberant terms that this is a religious place for tax purposes, and that he has many potions for sale. (50 exp)
- Andromeda wants a love potion, and he tells her the disclaimer to always get consent before use and only use on yourself. Wiiiink. The user - you, of course - will fall in love with the first person they see after drinking it. (50 exp)
- El Romantico enquires loudly and at length about a “Peepee Hard Potion” to general disgusted mirth. (50 exp)
- Oliver Snels bursts in and enquires about a potion that will make his eyes grow back, and is sold a bottle of water by Harry Flash. It doesn’t work, obviously, and after the potion-seller tries to sell him another fake Snels flies into a rage and starts smashing up the place! (50 exp)



- The proprietor dives behind the counter, hiding from the blind thrashing, and Andromeda and El Romantico muscle Snels out of there. (50 exp)
- As they leave, Andromeda snags a love potion and flicks her payment at the counter. I’m sure this doesn’t foreshadow anything dramatic. (50 exp)



--- Waiting for Popo
- Since there are a few hours to go until the appointment with the police, they decide to just hang around All-Prayer station and watch the world go by. (50 exp)
- They see an elderly Hobgoblin following his minions down the street, they’ve all joined the Resistance and are running amok! An angel clatters out of an alleyway and blasts them all, even the old Hobgoblin! (50 exp)
- Andromeda calls Hyper-Jesus via earpiece and asks him if he can leave the non-Resistance goblins alone, but Hyper-Jesus says that it’s just goblin scum and killing them all is for the best. (50 exp)
- Oliver Snels says “hey wait, but I’M part of the Resistance and you’re not killing me!”. Hyper-Jesus goes “whaaat?! Andromeda didn’t you know?!” and sics angels on Snels. (50 exp)
- Snels sets off at a dead run, and in an incredible display of blind luck he falls down a manhole and into the sewer system. In a few hours he’ll wash out into the Deep City. (50 exp)



--- The Interview
- The remaining party, feigning ignorance, heads to the blue police box. It’s a little elevator, taking a few people at a time down to the police station below. It’s bigger on the underside! (50 exp)
- The guards are religious and anti-minority, and want to know how to kill the Drakencult and their dragons. Apparently there’s a cluster of them on the top, or possibly inside the tip, of the Sciotherico and they keep dropping from there to harass the city. (50 exp)
- The guards are annoyed that their authority has been undermined and superseded by Hyper-Jesus - a fact that Andromeda makes Him aware of by summoning Him into the room. (50 exp)
- Appalled at being called out, the sergeant ends the interview! Shamefacedly, he leaves the room and finds himself confronted by a sea of reporters. He barges past them grunting “no comment!” (50 exp)
- El Romantico signs up to the police as a pro bono detective. They even give him a badge and a gun! Although, they stress, he can’t shoot it until he’s gone through firearms training. He thanks them mightily for this honour! (50 exp)
- They head back to St Cuthbert’s on the trains which remain shit. The Resistance keep slowing them down and getting them caught at signals to make life hard for everyone. (50 exp)
--- Snels in the Deep City
- Oliver Snels, with his remade brother still strapped to his back, washes up in the Deep City. He’s fished out of the water by goblins who think him a hero for escaping the angels! (50 exp)
- He asks for seeing-eye goblins to help him get around, and they actually agree! He’s a living saint to them now! (50 exp)
--- Night with the Nurse
- Back at St Cuthbert’s, Andromeda goes up to check on POWERLAD. HIdden in her hand is the love potion. (50 exp)
- She slips into POWERLAD’s room and tips the potion into his sleeping mouth. His eyes open and alight on Andromeda… suddenly he’s in love! (50 exp)
- They start making out, which disturbs Bertha on the next bed! She stands up in shock and grief and ANGER and starts casting a spell! (50 exp)
- Andromeda laughs, for she’s seen Bertha’s grimoire and knows there’s nothing to fear… but is still a little surprised when hit by Obscure Languages and she can’t understand what anyone’s saying! (50 exp)
- But POWERLAD and Andromeda have the language of luuuurve which cannot be obscured! They keep making out, and Bertha stabs Andromeda in the back with a scalpel! (50 exp)
- Andromeda cries out, turns, and Sleep-slaps Bertha! Bertha falls back, unconscious, and Andromeda stows her in a cupboard. The camera fades to black as she climbs onto POWERLAD on the hospital bed… (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, outside, El Romantico distracts some nurses by taking them out on a night on the town. They kinda ignore him except for taking his money for expensive drinks at Pelvister though, to his dismay. (50 exp)
--- The Rebels Spread
- The next day the party awakens to discover that an angel dropship is now overhead! Hyper-Jesus is gleeful that he’s managed to take control of a reliable supply of angel-bots! (50 exp)
- Following the party’s advice, Hyper-Jesus drops a new squad of angels onto the Cuthbert area to fortify it against rebel advances, then moves another squad from the Loyalist-controlled area of All-Prayer to battle the drakencult that have landed at Student’s Lament nearby. (50 exp)
- Horrifyingly, they find out that the Resistance has spread widely! Control of Dirt’s Edge gives them control of the basic food allotment for Fate’s poorest, flipping the whole Commuter line to rebels, while their control of Bank lets them take over any location on the Hub line. Impound is flipped to rebel hands! (50 exp)
- With Fate’s angel squads tied up fighting drakencult, the rebels are having an easy time of flipping areas to their cause. Frightening! (50 exp)
--- Breaking Bank
- Seeing that the Bank station is a real boon to whoever controls it, they decide to head there and see if they can flip it back. (50 exp)
- The transport network is a real fucking mess at the moment. Resistance operators keep getting trams caught at signals and aggressively scattering leaves on the tracks. It takes a real roundabout route to get to Bank reasonably quickly. (50 exp)
- When they actually get in, they find themselves subtly blocked and slowed and watched. It’s small acts of hostility and civil disobedience, nothing you’d ever be able to call someone out on… (50 exp)
- El Romantico tries to push through the crowds towards the Fortress Bank itself and finds his way blocked by an old man who’s happened to come over all faint and fallen in his path, bystanders rush in to help and block the way further. All very frustrating. (50 exp)
- Andromeda says “fuck this” and punch-casts Enlarge on herself! Now a giant woman, she scoops up El Romantico and strides towards the bank, people scattering and screaming in her path. Abhor Global follow in her wake, interviewing the crowd on what their opinions are on giant women. (50 exp)



- On her way, she feels a note being stuck into her giant boot. A defector from the Resistance has given her a tip-off! (50 exp)
- El Romantico is placed on the steps and she turns to start preaching to the crowds. Can’t they see that resistance is wrong? Hyper-Jesus commands angels! Of course He’s good and godly and right! (50 exp)
- El Romantico is talking with the security guard out the front about how he can defeat the Resistance in this area. Upon discovering that he’s a detective for the All-Prayer police, she nods and invites him inside. (50 exp)
- He’s told that their latest intel is that the leader of the local cell is at a location - the Encrossed Keys - right now. He’s always moving though, and they haven’t got the resources to keep hunting him down - they’re barely holding onto the Fortress Bank as it is. (50 exp)
- Also in the bank, unnoticed, is Snels. He overhears the whole thing, and decides he’ll try to beat El Romantico and co to the location and warn the Resistance! (50 exp)
- Andromeda reads the note in her boot between oratory, reading “Be careful. They are listening. They know” along with the address of the Encrossed Keys that El Romantico was just given. (50 exp)
- From her giant woman perspective, she sees Sir Robyn pushing his way towards her through the crowd! His offices are at Bank, after all. (50 exp)
- By this point, Andromeda’s pro-HyperJesus and Ninhursag rhetoric has drawn the ire of the crowd! They surge forward, barely held back by the poorly paid interns of Abhor Global in hi-vis jackets. (50 exp)
- She casts a giant Phantasmal Force version of herself and shrinks, disappearing into the crowd as her huge form keeps preaching. When the crowd breaks through to attack the illusion it pops into bubbles. She’s already away. (50 exp)
--- Pursuit!
- Suddenly we find ourselves in a race to the Encrossed Keys! Andromeda’s behind due to her stunt, and ahead Snels is racing to get there before El Romantico or Sir Robyn can! (50 exp)
- The crowds are forming an angry mob, chasing the malnourished Abhor Global interns who are ditching the hi-vis jackets in an attempt to blend in. Sir Robyn sends forth his raccoons and cantrips Phantasmal Force to make it seem like multiple fashionable raccoons are running through the streets! (50 exp)
- El Romantico pulls ahead of Snels and smashes through the doors of the Encrossed Keys, ignoring the cries of “what’s the password?” from a couple of resistance members disguised as revellers outside the main door. (50 exp)
--- El Romantico vs El Viejo Jr
- Inside, it’s a pub in a layout that’s very familiar to our longer-running players. The place is empty except for an elderly man behind the bar, looking up bemusedly at the swinging double doors and growling foreign Barbarian peering around the empty hall. (50 exp)
- El Romantico tells him that there’s a mob coming and he’s in danger, so he says to lock the door so that they can talk. (50 exp)
- El Romantico tells him that they should escape through to the sewers and get away! The old man tells him “Good idea! Follow me!” and takes him down the stairs to the cellar… (50 exp)
- Down in the cellar there is, importantly, no hatch to the sewer. The old man turns, saying “you idiot”, and rips off his disguise to show a much younger man, wielding two daggers! (50 exp)
- El Romantico still tries to convince the guy that he’s totes Resistance bruh, but it doesn’t work. A deadly combat ensues in the beer cellar! (50 exp)
- He raises his pistol and pulls the trigger… but the gun is empty! You don’t get ammunition until you’ve completed your firearms training course! (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, above, Snels and the rest of the party crash through the ground floor window. The place is empty. (50 exp)
- Andromeda looks around with heartbeat vision in an attempt to find El Romantico… and sees the Resistance fighters hidden under the tables! (50 exp)
- She breathes a great cloud of chlorine gas, choking and blinding the first wave of rebels. The others open fire through the gas cloud, peppering the party with shot. (50 exp)



- In the cellar, El Romantico is in a bad way. The Resistance leader slashes at him with daggers, puncturing his chest and stomach. He’s only on his feet due to RAGE! (50 exp)



- He grabs the rebel leader’s head, barely feeling the knife that plunges into the side of his neck, and twists it savagely. There is a horrific snap of bone and his enemy collapses, spasming. (50 exp)



- “I have replaced part” he mutters as his rage subsides. He looks down at his hands, drenched with blood, and falls to his knees. “I have replaced part…” (50 exp)
- The blood loss is too severe. El Romantico dies down there in the dark, a hero and martyr to the Loyalist cause. (50 exp)
- Hearing the heartbeats fade away with her heart-sense, Andromeda cries out to the remaining rebels - “You leader is dead! Stop firing!” (50 exp)
- They’ve already lost so many to dragonbreath. The rebels stop firing and agree to let the party leave, then scurry out to find their dead. (50 exp)
--- Victory at Bank
- Outside the crowds have died down. The Resistance has been defeated in this area, and the tides are turning. Overhead, the angel dropship sings as a new squad of angels is loaded onto a petal-wing. The future is bright, Bank will soon be under Loyalist control! (50 exp)
---
---
--- Post-Credits Scene

INT. EMPORIUM OF THE ODD. NIGHT.
We see a MYSTERIOUS WOMAN burst through the door of the shop. She slams a fistful of coins down on the counter. We pan up to her face, cloaked in shadow.
ANDROMEDA

How many love potions you got?

(50 exp)
Total: 3450 exp

Misc:
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Coitus boners (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp ea)
- Caller (James / Abhor Global)- 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Timothy - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Kitty - 500 exp)
- Famous Last Words bonus (Charles - 200 exp)
- Awesome Death bonus (Charles - 500 exp) - Lonely Death bonus (Charles - 500 exp) - Noble Sacrifice bonus (Charles - 1000 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- El Romantico, stabbed to death but snapped his killer’s neck anyway.
Exp Totals:
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000) 
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23249 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp)
- James / Abhor Global, Level 3 Extras: 4862 (Level up at 6000)
- Charles, Señor Romantico, Level 2 Barbarian: 3810 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Power rolls! 2 rounds Rage! +backstory!
- George / Oliver Snels, Level 2 Barbarian: 2883 (Level up at 4000)  
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Power rolls! 2 rounds Rage! +backstory! 

Absent or Retired:

Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 81366 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000) 
  
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp)   
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 39034 (Level up at 72000) 
- Timothy / RJ, Level 6 Spider Fighter: 34867 (Level up at 64000) 
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 2 Necromancer: 4116 (Level up at 4500) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp) 
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

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