Tuesday, 4 December 2018

Session 207 - Attack of the Powerpuff Girls!

Without the party's most powerful forces, they're forced to fall back on a B-Team to try and sort out the problem of dragoncults falling all over the city.

The rebellion spreads faster than it can be easily contained while POWERLAD convalesces and Galaxy Johnson waits for the increasingly rapid New Moon to arrive and give him back his power.

See you tonight!

Session 207 - Attack of the Powerpuff Girls!

Campaign Date:
Friday 5th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zenith: Eris
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Il Romantico, a Barbarian Barber (and possible Berber) from the far foreign land of Spain.
- El Romantico, a man who is hunting down Il Romantico for stealing his style and gimmicks!
New Backstory:
- Johnny Mallet was concerned when one of his underlings, Corgi McLiar, seemed to question their faith in profit over journalistic integrity. They went east to ancient temples, found themselves, and stole everything that wasn’t nailed down. Faith reaffirmed! (+1 to beneficial Cleric effects)
- Maddison Dresswell of Abhor Global had a father with a dangerous job - Janitor in a leper colony. He did it out of genuine compassion and love for his fellow man, which made her realise how fucking stupid that was. (+1 to selfless acts)
- Galaxy Johnson took the fall for something that wasn’t his fault - predatory student space-loans! He emerged out of his Crystal Studies course with a useless degree and crippling debt. Honestly getting exiled from Planet Johnson wasn’t such a bad thing, at least he doesn’t have to pay them back! (Half damage from traps somebody else set off)
- Flaming Fury, as one of the vanishingly few female Dwarfs, had a lot of societal expectations on her. She committed an extreme act of teen rebellion - shaving her beard off - bringing shame upon her family. She sported a comb-under for several weeks. (Once per session, auto-pass an attack, save and/or skill check. -2 to that type of roll for the rest of the session)
Treasure and Equipment:
Total: 0 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- 3 Powerpuff Andromedae (300 exp)
Total:  300 exp

- Travelled around Fate (100 exp)
Total: 100 exp

--- Atmospheric Opening Cutscene
- There is a roar. His ears are ringing. He tastes dust and copper. His skin screams with pain. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD slowly rolls over, popping new burn blisters on his arm. He flops onto his back and looks up - an enormous mushroom cloud roiling into the sky. (50 exp)
- He sees Styx pulling himself from his ruined angel-bot frame, mostly unscathed. There is a roar of many voices. He turns to look and sees Flaming Fury looking on impassively. Behind her, now washing past her, is a crowd of people come to save their heroes! (50 exp)
- He reaches out for Bertha but passes out again. He feels hands gingerly lifting him away… (50 exp)
- POWERLAD wakes up in St Cuthbert’s hospital. Giggling nurses attend him, although they’re a bit disappointed that he’s not quite as hung and handsome (and unburned) as he’s meant to be. Bertha, in the next hospital bed, puts up with it. (50 exp)
--- Riot War!
- It’s time to test out the new city takeover minigame! Hyper-Jesus-supporting Loyalists oppose the anti-Hyper-Jesus Rebels, ostensibly following the orders of Styx. Meanwhile the minions of Ereshkigal fly in from above, seeking to destroy Battlefortress Fate entirely… (50 exp)
- The Rebellion is spreading from key locations in God’s Edge and the Deep City. Hyper-Jesus is directed to send a squad of Angels to defend and convert All-Prayer, while St Ballache’s comes under attack from Drakencult. (50 exp)
--- The B-Team
- With the party’s most powerful members languishing in hospital, burnt, or dusted, it’s time for a ragtag group of slightly lower level fools to keep the city together! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury is by far the strongest of the group. She’s joined by Andromeda, the one POWERLAD kinda sorta had a fling with, Abhor Global with a slate of new interns, Dumbledorris, and new arrival Il Romantico who is an extremely amorous barber from Spain. (50 exp)
- Together they set off to St Ballache’s to head off the drakencult before they start summoning dragons. To the tube! (50 exp)
- The Remade-pulled rickshaws of the Entertainment Line take them to a lift at the base of the wall that takes them up to the rickety touristy trains of the Outer Circle Line. From their high vantage they can see the winged Drakencult circling St Ballache’s and diving like carrion crows. (50 exp)
- On the other side, looking out across the ruined land, Mt Death Frost looms as the city strides closer. (50 exp)
- Andromeda rings Hyper-Jesus via earpiece and tells him to reinforce the outer shields to prevent the drakencult getting in, but he’s loathe to do it because he wants to keep moving towards Dwimmermount. (50 exp)
- They see the sun rise from the walltop as they reach the station, it’s really quite pretty. They descend in the rickety lift towards St Ballache’s - pronounced “St Balatchy’s”. (50 exp)
- This area in the military district is traditionally the place where new recruits are allowed out on away days, so lots of cheap pubs and thriving brothels. The place has fallen on hard times since the apocalypse, since most soldiers have been raised a bunch of times already and truly new recruits are vanishingly rare. (50 exp)
- Trying to find the leader of the Drakencult here is going to be hard, since nobody actually knows the area. Pubs and shops are closing all over as the dragon-worshippers swoop overhead blasting at random. (50 exp)
- Corgi McLiar darts into a nearby pub before the owner shuts up shop completely, drawn by the sixteen shots for a silver deal on the window. The bemused bartender gives her a bunch of shots on a tray then locks the shop up tight. (50 exp)
- Il Romantico is drawn towards a tapas bar, calling itself the Tapass Bar, and suddenly a bunch of ratmen pour out of the door! Explosion beams blast down on them from laughing drakencultists, so Styx barges into a nearby house and motions them to follow him! (50 exp)

- As the rest of the party deals with the drakencultists landing outside, Styx speaks to the Ratmen. They’re here to undermine city infrastructure, but weren’t anticipating drakencult! (50 exp)
- Styx tells them his name - he’s Styx! Leader of the rebellion! They don’t believe him, Styx is taller, but they appreciate him teaching them better rune magic. (50 exp)
--- Powerpuff Andromedae
- Three Andromedae land on top of the Tapass bar and call out mockingly to the party’s Andromeda, telling her to abandon her weak green dragon and worship Ereshkigal like a good Andromeda. (50 exp)
- To keep things slightly less confusing, they are designated Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup with mysteriously associated personality traits! (50 exp)

- Party Andromeda tries to convince them that leaving is freedom, they’d never be forced to be with a POWERLAD they hate! But it turns out the lead Andromeda is happy with her POWERLAD so nyuh. (50 exp)
- Il Romantico tries to seduce them to little effect - they’re happy with their POWERLADs! (50 exp)

- Party Andromeda tries to trick them by creating an illusory version of the original POWERLAD, to be taken as a hostage. Bubbles-Andromeda flies down to escort him to their leader, but the trick is revealed when POWERLAD flies out of range and appropriately turns into bubbles! (50 exp)
- The Powerpuff Andromedae are enraged by this trick and attack! (50 exp)
- Il Romantico charges in but takes an explosion beam for his trouble, blasting him into a wall! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury charges to support and gets a back-slapped Haste spell cast on her from Party-Andromeda! Using her newfound speed she unleashes the Bow of the Ram on Blossom-Andromeda, winging her with the arrow. (50 exp)
- Party-Andromeda runs into the Tapass bar and heads for the stairs to the roof. That’s where the action is! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury uses Haste to go FULL POWER! She practically sprints up the wall, leaps into the air at the top, and fires her bow again, hitting them both! (50 exp)
- As one, the Andromedae leap forward with Magic Missile punches and DOUBLE CRIT!!! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury tanks the hits! Her armour crumples, she stands firm, and the red sash at her waist glows with energy as the Magic Missiles are converted into other spells! (50 exp)

- One of them turns to Message, the other to Mending. Her crumpled armour instantly reforms! Success! (50 exp) - Styx experiments with rat-borne runes to little success, the little bastards keep missing! (50 exp)

- Il Romantico wants to get in on the action! He also tries to run up the side of the building… but falls and breaks his leg and snaps his alarmingly erect penis. (50 exp)

- He enters a Barbarian Rage, yelling about his “Rage Boner Powers” and tries again! (50 exp)

- In a savage rage, frothing from the mouth, he swarms up the side of the building! When he gets to the top his rage abates and he slumps to the ground, not quite dead. (50 exp)
- Late and heroic as ever, Lonely Blade aka Robyn Jr swings across the rooftops! He swings onto the roof and poses dramatically with his katana! (50 exp)

- He slices bravely at the two rooftop Andromedae, having also discovered recently just how good choppy weapons are against unarmoured flesh. (50 exp)

- Party-Andromeda bursts out of the rooftop doorway and slams into Buttercup-Andromeda with a mighty blow! Flaming Fury downs a bottle of booze and enters a DRUNKEN RAGE, coming in with an assist! Buttercup-Andromeda is cut down where she stands. (50 exp)
- Down at street level, Abhor Global beat back the battered Blossom-Andromeda with their vicious interviewing style. The enemy Andromeda reels back... and a knife falls from the sky and buries itself in her head! (50 exp)

- There is a puff of soot from the chimney of the building above as the soot-blackened Styx disappears back down the flue. That was a hell of a fucking throw! (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris begins to cast the spell Return to Mother, targeting Bubbles-Andromeda who didn’t hate her mother.
- Bubbles-Andromeda weeps for her fallen clone sisters, but her morale holds. She lets loose her anti-gravity breath, hitting everyone on the rooftop! (50 exp)
- Still lying on the roof, Il Romantico is hit full force. His jaw is blown off and the blood is everywhere. The others manage to survive, albeit now floating in the air due to the inverted gravity. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris’ Return to Mother spell goes off, wrapping a long umbilical cord around the last enemy Andromeda and pulling her into some other place with a surprised yell of “mum?!” (50 exp)
--- Aftermath
- The Andromedae finally dead, Il Romantico stands up, dusts himself off, and with a jawless cry of “I can’t feel my boner!” falls off the roof to his death! Dumbledorris is there just in time to collect his Last Breath! (50 exp) - Styx gives the ratmen a note to take to the rebellion, especially to ask them who the fuck stole his brand. (50 exp)

- The sounds and pyrotechnics of the battle have drawn the attention of a POWERLAD wearing a cowboy hat, who swoops in to investigate. He stays at a distance, cupping his hands to make a loudspeaker, and tells them to fuck off. (50 exp)
- Party-Andromeda, now thankfully the only Andromeda for this recap, waves and yells for help! Flaming Fury runs at her, waving her axe and pretending to attack her! (50 exp)
- The POWERLAD swoops down to save her, because that’s what heroes do! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury pops off back down the stairs into the bar and pours herself a drink. She’s done all she needs to do. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD leads with a web punch to create cover, then flies through and lands dramatically in front of Andromeda. The damsel is saved! Or so he thinks, until he realises her voice is different.... (50 exp)
- She leans forward to kiss him - and breathes her poisonous breath into his mouth. He dies with Andromeda’s name on his lips. (50 exp)

--- Flee!
- But even with all this death, it’s not over. POWERLAD’s backups are already on their way - green-winged ratmen and pale-winged men in white robes are banking to check out the situation. (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury bursts out of the ground floor door with a cask of sherry under each arm. To the station! The rest follow in a pell-mell rush through the narrow streets. (50 exp)
- Styx watches them go from the house he’s hunkered down in. When the winged drakencult are past, he emerges to investigate the area and save what he can. (50 exp)
- Behind the runners, Lonely Blade squirts out webbing to deter flying pursuers. Soon the party is out of sight and away. (50 exp)
--- The Angels Descend
- Acting on their information, Hyper-Jesus sends a new squad of angels down to St Ballache’s. The party, from the Outer Circle train on the wall, has a good view as they descend. (50 exp)
- In the city below, beams fire out at the angels and the swarms of black wings circle. There is a strange warping of the view and an atonal roar as the Drakencult bring forth another dragon to defend themselves. The battle below is just beginning! (50 exp)
- Also on the train is an absurdly familiar new party member - a man named El Romantico, who has been searching for a man who stole his identity!
--- The Fire of Rebellion
- Elsewhere, the rebellion against Hyper-Jesus spreads. The campaign of dissent and street-level civil disobedience reaches the Inner Circle line, spreading as far as Dirt’s Edge. With the angels busy battling the drakencult, the city is vulnerable to sedition… (50 exp)
Total: 2850 exp

- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp ea)
- Caller (Kitty / Andromeda)- 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / El Romantico - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Flaming Fury - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Charles, Timothy - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Ollie*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Ollie - 500 exp)
- Death’s Witness bonus (all who saw Il Romantico die - 100 exp)
- Famous Last Words bonus (Charles - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Charles - 500 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)


Death Toll and Injuries:
- Il Romantico, broke his leg in a fall then finished off when a dragon-cultist’s gravity breath tore off his jaw.
Exp Totals:
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp) 
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 21812 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp)
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 39034 (Level up at 72000) 
- Timothy / RJ, Level 6 Spider Fighter: 34867 (Level up at 64000)
- James / Abhor Global, Level 3 Extras: 3852 (Level up at 6000)
- Charles, El Romantico, Level 2 Barbarian: 2079 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Power rolls! +1 round of Rage! +backstory!
- Charles / Il Romantico, Level 1 Barbarian: 0 (Level up at 2000)

Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 81366 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)

Absent or Retired:
- George / Oliver Snels, Level 1 Barbarian: 1973 (Level up at 2000) 
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 2 Necromancer: 4116 (Level up at 4500) 
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 148132 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp) 
--- Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp) 
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 61149 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

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