Tuesday, 7 August 2018

Session 192 - Styx Finds God

An exposition-heavy session it seems!
Not only has Team Law finally managed to battle their way up the elevator shaft and onto the angel level, Team Chaos has met up with Galaxy Johnson's brother, and Styx of all people is the first character ever to speak directly to a God!

POWERLAD flexes his way to another friendship. Zena turns her ankle. Carrie Melestes an angel. Styx swears off rune magic. Flaming Fury hides amongst corpses. Dumbledorris kisses a girl just to try it. The Witchfinder-Sergeant gets evangelical.

And man, check this stuff out:

- Ollie does a full on 3D model of an angel!!!?!!!

- Also a pixel version of Styx

And a final shoutout also to the ingenious use of found objects when I forgot the snuff box last session...

Session 192 - Styx Finds God

Campaign Date:
Sunday, 29 April, 1601
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Aries

New Backstory:
- Flaming Fury’s worst birthday occurred when she was 12. She got her first battleaxe and with her first swing accidentally chopped off the head of the family dog! (On the 31st of June every real year, and every game year, and on the week of your actual birthday - gain 10gp by some means)

- The Witchfinder-Sergeant joined the inquisition and took great pleasure in punishing people for petty crimes like stealing bread for their starving children. (Douchebags trust you)

Treasure and Equipment:
- 10gp (500 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- A boss angel (1000 exp)
- 2 upgraded angels (200 exp)
Total: 1200 exp

- Explored 5 dungeon areas (100 exp)
Total: 100 exp

- We open with Team Law made up of Zena, Carrie Meleste, the Witchfinder-Sergeant and Flaming Fury peering up the elevator shaft towards angels above. (50 exp)
- Team Chaos - POWERLAD, Styx, Dumbledorris and Andromeda - are semi-safely ensconced in the surveillance room. (50 exp)
- With the split party situation continuing, it sure would be nice if the groups didn’t splinter further… (50 exp)
--- Team Law
- The main question at hand - how to deal with the fish-in-a-barrel situation? Getting up the elevator shaft without getting shot to hell is going to be hard with those angels looming above. (50 exp)
- Zena tries using runes to turn a part of a destroyed angel’s shell into a crystal shield… but the beams slicing down from above go straight through. No dice. (50 exp)
- The Witchfinder-Sergeant has found his true evangelical voice, and tries to use it to yell fiery rhetoric up the elevator shaft at the angels… to no effect. (50 exp)
- Instead he persuades everyone that the power of the THREE GOOD GAHDS can SAAAAVE THEM from the SIGHT O’ THA ANGEYELS! Carrie Meleste, despite being less than impressed by his vigour, helps cast Bless on everyone. (50 exp)
- Now that they’re all #blessed, the team ascend stealthily… mostly. Flaming Fury gets in amongst the dwarf corpses. Zena and Carrie crawl into angel shells… and the Witchfinder-Sergeant stands with arms outstretched hoping the light of the GOOOODS can save him. (50 exp)
- With holy blessings in their favour, it works! They ascend up the elevator unnoticed! All three angels, boss and two four-legged beam angels, look on in confusion... (50 exp)
- And Team Law throw off their disguises and move to ATTACK! (50 exp)

--- Team Chaos
- Styx sees this going down on the surveillance monitors. The others are somewhere on the level, he can tell that much! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD, Andromeda and Dumbledorris head out to explore more of the level and hopefully link up with the others. Styx stays behind to be “the guy in the chair”. Break manipulates a Mass glyph to quantum entangle two stones… the in-fiction embodiment of teamchat. (50 exp)
- They leave the surveillance room and check that the Wizard Locked door remains closed - it is for now! Styx finds them on the cameras and watches for threats. (50 exp)
- Some odd pollen is floating through the corridors as they travel, causing itchy eyes and sniffles amongst all the explorers. Nobody packed antihistamines though, and the pollen soon dissipates. (50 exp)
- They explore until they find a door. They open the door and Styx flicks through cameras until he finds one with an open door - inside it seems to be a sort of chapel, but no threats. (50 exp)
- They enter and see it in more detail. Geometric shapes carved into walls and floor seem to gather around an altar on the other side of the chapel. The geometric shapes, on closer inspection, seem to be based on crosses and nine-sided shapes. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris reckons this is a prime location for secret doors, and it just so happens that she’s a living drug lab now. With the lust pheremones and the mushroom monster’s Wave drug generation, she’s considering trademarking the combo as Vibe. (50 exp)
- Andromeda’s willing to take the hit, so Dumbledorris makes out with her to transfer a dose of Wave. POWERLAD is so into this. (50 exp)

- Andromeda looks up as it kicks in and looks around the room. Her awareness is heightened. Everything fits together. Her limbs are heavy. No secret doors, but man these geometric patterns sure are interesting… (50 exp)
- She does notice that there’s something on the altar though. A brooch with the cross-in-circle symbol of Terms Termax on it. Waves of translucency pulse through it. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD won’t wear it because he doesn’t wear enough clothing to pin it to, so he lets Andromeda have it. When she pins it to her clothes the waves of translucency pulse over her whole body, making her invisible when she stands still! (50 exp)
--- Team Law
- On the screens in the surveillance room, Styx has been watching the great battle between Team Law and several angels! He’s got the action in widescreen, with one for slo-mo. (50 exp)
- Zena moves first, jumping out from her angel corpse hiding place to attack one of the four-legged angels! She turns her ankle as she jumps, fumbling embarrassingly. (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury charges in with her pickaxe, clanging off armour plate! (50 exp)
- The Witchfinder-Sergeant uses his godly blessing to smash the angel! Is it ironic to use the power of Gods to destroy an angel? He doesn’t seem to be that cut up about it. The angel collapses! (50 exp)
- Carrie Meleste has attacked the one-winged angel whose wing got eaten off by rats last session. Her bless-powered hog-tie gambit partially succeeds! She can keep the angel disabled as long as she concentrates on keeping it that way. (50 exp)
- The Witchfinder-Sergeant turns from his destruction of the angel, celebrating his victory… and is hit by a stasis beam from the boss angel! He juuuust avoids it, although one of his weapons is blasted from his hand! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury lets off a scattershot charge at the boss angel, the pellets clatter off its spinning armoured plates. Zena runs in to follow up… but stumbles on her twisted ankle. She chucks her spear instead and it goes wide. (50 exp)
- The Witchfinder-Sergeant tries to smash the hog-tied angel with his remaining pickaxe, but his hits just clang from its armour. Carrie unveils a rather large phallic object and begins simulating unsavoury acts on the otherwise-helpless angel. (50 exp)
- Zena’s walked off her rolled ankle now, so she grabs a rope from her bag and tries to disable the boss angel’s wing cannons. It works!! The beams are disabled! (50 exp)
- While Flaming Fury wails on its spinning metal plates, the Witchfinder-Sergeant uses the last of his blessings to heal up his hand. It works! (50 exp)
- Zena gets a critical hit on the staggered boss angel! She disables its backup lower body melee attack! It’s helpless! She finishes it off as it desperately tries to escape. (50 exp)

- The team gang up on the similarly helpless tied-up angel Carrie’s Melesting. Carrie gets the finishing “blow”. (50 exp)
- Finally at the top of the elevator shaft, it’s time to head inwards! The door irises open when the elevator button is pressed, and Team Law decides to follow the brass angel pipes to wherever they lead… (50 exp)
--- Team Styx
- Styx has been flicking through different camera views in an attempt to work out how he can get from the surveillance room to the map room. Turns out it’s actually real close! (50 exp)
- He leaves Break to guard the surveillance room and heads out. He can’t wait for those other fools! There’s a world map to find! (50 exp)
- Indeed, there is a map. He follows the pipes to where they plug into the pedestal. Above it, turning slowly, is a holographic projection of the Earth. Surrounding it is a mesh of small points of light, and above those are eight larger lights moving almost imperceptibly slowly. (50 exp)
- Inside the projection of the Earth is a projection of Shub-Niggurath. It spreads throughout the planet, but 5 major tendrils can be seen. One, of course, emerges in Loegria. The other four emerge from landmasses around the world. (50 exp)
- Using hand gestures, one can zoom in to see exactly where the angels are. It’s a more accurate map of the world than anyone living has ever seen. (50 exp)
- In a slot on the pedestal, Styx finds a flat square device. On one side is a black circle like a modern speaker. He picks it up… and a voice speaks from within! (50 exp)
- “WHO SPEAKS?” (50 exp)
--- Team Chaos
- POWERLAD, Dumbledorris, and Andromeda who’s still peaking, have continued exploring. They’ve had no more word from Styx, but they continue on nonetheless. (50 exp)
- They come to a large hall with pillars holding up a curved roof. There is a shadow on the nearest pillar moving of its own volition. A thin strangely proportioned shadow… and as they watch bright white eyes and a bright white mouth open on its face. (50 exp)
- The shadow leaves the wall! It is a thin spindly grey person, very familiar to all - a little grey man who looks much like Galaxy Johnson! (50 exp)
- He introduces himself as Señor Burrito, and leads the party to his leader who sits on a throne at the end of the room - an alien corded with muscle - Titanium Johnson! (50 exp)

- Yes, it is he. The legendary brother of Galaxy Johnson, sent here thousands of years ago to hunt for his brother when he was cast out of his home planet! (50 exp)

- It’s time for the ultimate message of peace - the message of muscle! POWERLAD and Andromeda flex their magic-enhanced upper bodies, while Dumbledorris tenses her strong and meaty frog-like thighs! (50 exp)
- Titanium Johnson is impressed, and flexes back at them! Truly they have found a point of commonality! (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris’ scent reaches his nostrils and he is suddenly enamoured. Not only does she have man-attracting pheremones… she also has a backstory power that makes fae creatures like her. What a combo! (50 exp)
- He asks if he can have her snapchat, but of course she does not know what he means. (50 exp)
- He regales her with tales of Venus and the strange plants they saw there. Venus fly traps are from there, obviously, and also a type of land-worm that blinds you… giving you the Venusian Blinds. Booooo. (50 exp)
- Titanium explains that they had been hunting down Galaxy Johnson, and traced him to this solar system. Unfortunately during their stop on the planet Venus their ship picked up a variety of extraterrestrial flora, which led to the death and doom of many of the crew. (50 exp)
- As their fellows were consumed by the ravaging plantlife, those uninfected few were forced to enter a state of suspension in their shadow forms. Their they rested for long ages until they were awoken by the reopening of the mountain. And worse, the chaos-hunting angels! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD offers to help with the plantlife. After all, he has Ninhursag’s glyph-bending abilities. He can certainly help with their plant problem. (50 exp)
- Titanium Johnson is thankful! And of course he would be happy to give them a ride in his rad space ship if the plant problem is solved! (50 exp)
- Team Styx
- Styx answers the speaker with his name, and the voice answers, “And What Is Your Faith?” (50 exp)

- Styx hedges with “I’m not really committed to just one religion”, but also tells the voice that his Goblin friend is a worshipper of the apocalypse dragon Ereshkigal (50 exp)
- Bad news - God’s not a fan of dragons. The projection of the world reforms into an imposing figure in rusted armour and a rusted helm, wielding a rusted blade. He is pleased, though, to note that Styx does not bear the mark of such a beast. (50 exp)
- It seems that the Gods Above are trying to destroy the tentacles, or at the very least prevent them from cracking the Earth further. The angels are, of course, under their control. (50 exp)
- Styx asks if he can be protected from the angels, as an agent of the Gods’ will of course. He has a plan to keep the tentacle down. The God offers to imbue Styx with such holy energy that angels will ignore him… so long as he refuses to allow the use of the ungodly power of Runes. (50 exp)
- No runes? For Styx? He demures for now, and changes tack. Why do the Gods hate the dragons? (50 exp)
- The dragons seek the destruction of the Earth! They will kill the planet if it means killing the beast in the core! (50 exp)
- There was a plan, once, to destroy the Apocalypse Dragons. Only one was defeated - the dragon Nergal. Even then, the Gods did not do it alone. If it had not been weakened by Shub-Niggurath, and betrayed by a rival drakencult, and attacked by the full force of an undead horde, it would never have been defeated. (50 exp)
- But defeated it was, and that dragon was destroyed. Its bones fittingly rest beneath the Barrowmaze. (50 exp)
- Styx explains his plan to gain control of the poison dragon Ninhursag, burrow it into the centre of the earth, then make it unleash the omnipoison that will collapse the beast from the inside! (50 exp)
- The God thinks on this. He explains that the gods have power over the heavens, and they do not have much recourse to help below the surface. Indeed, this has been on of their biggest limitations. If Styx can do this… He will help him. (50 exp)
- Styx accepts and is filled with holy power! He now has the blessing of Vorn, and while he does so the angels will not register him as a threat and can reach the Gods through prayer. The downside - he can’t use runes, or benefit from Chaos magic. At least he doesn’t have to stop others from using them. (50 exp)
- He asks some more questions. Why hate demons? They boil away at the fabric of reality. What is Azoth? The concentrated essence of the vastness between the stars. It is normally silvery and inert, but when refined into the black Azoth we’ve seen it amplifies energies. (50 exp)
- Finally, he asks the God’s name. He is VORN. Grim gaunt god of iron, rust and rain.
- Team Up!
- Following the cables, Team Law finally meets up with Styx! They see him talking to a God and the party looks on amazed! (50 exp)
- More questions ensue. There are nine gods and only eight spheres on the world map hologram. What gives? It seems Terms Termax shot down Eris with a silver spear over 600 years ago, forcing her to crash-land over Dwimmermount. (50 exp)
- Zena is shocked. Terms Termax? The man who fused with the spirit of Jesus to become Maximum Godhead Hyper-Jesus?... The very same. (50 exp)
- Vorn tells her that Terms Termax fused with the goddess Eris and stole her power for his own. How he managed to use a silver spear before the apocalypse, he cannot say. (50 exp)
- This is all a bit mind-shattering for Zena, but Vorn does offer one last tidbit - while the books of the Bible are not necessarily literal truth, the visions of the final Book of Revelation seem to have been given to John directly from the divine power of Law Itself, bypassing the Nine entirely. (50 exp)
- Upon hearing that Jesus Christ was indeed the First Cleric, the Witchfinder-Sergeant booms forth a promise to destroy Terms Termax for his crimes against the gods... (50 exp)
Total: 3750 exp

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Homoerotic bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a man behind bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
Total: 700 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena & Carter / Styx - 100 exp ea)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD & Henry / Witchfinder - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Flaming Fury - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Witchfinder - 100 exp) - Art Attack bonus (Charles, Ollie - 100 exp ea.) - Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp) - Attaco d'Arte bonus (Charles, Ollie - 100 exp ea.) - Attacco di Panico dell'Arte bonus (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Andy, Carter - 100 exp ea.)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Henry, Andy, Kitty - 500 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Henry / Witchfinder - 100 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1020sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1084sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10410sp. (Sir Robyn)


Death Toll and Injuries:
- None! But the Witchfinder-Sergeant grazed his knuckles a little.

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 7 Muscle Wizard: 125207 (Level up at 144000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 10 (-50% exp)
--- Andromeda, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 9908 (Level up at 18000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-10% exp)
---- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-20% exp)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 55637 (Level up at 64000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
- Carter / Styx, Level 6 Goblin: 54245 (Level up at 64000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 5 Dwarf: 21688 (Level up at 35200)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Suzie / Dumbledorris2, Level 4 Inheritor: 12573 (Level up at 18000)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 4 Cleric (Unorthodox): 8254 (Level up at 14000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 lvl 2 spell/day! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33352 (Level up at 48000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24639 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
Carrie's Henchmen
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Timothy / Spider Squad, Level 4 Spider Extras: 7366 (Level up at 12000)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 60599 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

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