Tuesday 22 January 2019

Session 211 - All Hail the Goblin King!

I'm just going to led this session stand on its own. Holy crap. Short version:
Styx is the new Fated King and has control over the walking city of Fate.

GOOD WORK!!!



Session 211 - All Hail the Goblin King!

Campaign Date:
Ides, 15th June, 1601
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zenith: Dispater
Zodiac: Taurus

New Backstory:
- Snels was born under an omen of DOOM! His family is cursed so that only their first-born survives while others die. (+1 HD-worth of HP when another PC dies)
- Corgi Malone of Abhor Global shouldn’t have kissed that celebrity sex pest when he made a move on her, but she did. (Once per session, cause someone to make a romantic advance on you)

Treasure and Equipment:
- Fortress-City Fate (incalculable, so like 100000 exp? Fuck it you earned it)
Total: 100000 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- False Styx (75 exp)
- 5 False Styx Henchmen (250 exp)
Total: 325 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled 10ish miles (20 exp)
Total: 20 exp

Events:
--- You Wake Up In A Dungeon
- We start the new year with the party in the belly of a spooky dungeon. They are in a dark chapel, old pews leading up to a grim altar set within the grinning mouth of a giant carved skull. The dungeon is beginning to wake up, and whispered blasphemies can be heard from somewhere deeper in. (50 exp)
- Snels decides to go deeper in, following vague memories of this place and the advice of his statue-brother on his back. On his own, naturally. (50 exp)
- The others debate next steps in furtive whispers in the dying light of their candles. Back to Fate? Keep investigating this place? Should they head to the Barrowmaze and stop Cyrus getting the artifact that will allow him to control all Undead? (50 exp)
- Snels creeps through the darkness of a long long corridor. The whispered blasphemies get louder, and there is a voice singing a song of enervation. He comes upon a basin full of coins, and above the basin is a great carved eye whose pupil is itself made up of many eyes. (50 exp)
- He flicks a coin into the basin and feels improved! The eyes flash and his dexterity increases! (50 exp)
- He is joined by Abhor Global and Dumbledorris who have become bored with the debate over what to do next. Snels continues deeper in, hearing the piping song getting louder, and turns to look into the children’s crypt he checked out before. (50 exp)
--- The Children’s Crypt
- He finds that in his absence someone has set up a strange fresco made up of children, all engaged in blasphemous or horrifyingly sexual acts. They all have copper coins over their eyes except one… (50 exp)
- That one has only a single coin over one eye. The other eyes swivels to look RIGHT AT SNELS and it leaps for him! (50 exp)
- Snels runs back to the long corridor and hopefully safety, the animated zombie children crawling rapidly along floor and walls and ceiling to hunt him down! (50 exp)
- Abhor Global holds the line against the zombie kids. Black saliva drooling over their needle teeth as they savage the interns who are sent, one by one, to the great BBC office in the sky. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris, Snels and the last named characters of ABhor Global sprint out of the dungeon, picking up the debaters on their way through the chapel, making their way rapidly to the surface. (50 exp)
--- The Peak of Mt Death Frost
- The party returns to the camp out of the front of the black fortress atop Mt Death Frost. It’s the perfect place for Abhor Global to regain a few down-on-their-luck interns and restore themselves to a full mob of Extras. (50 exp)
- They also meet today’s replacement romantico - Muchacho Romantico! A buff, brash Romantico teen! (50 exp)



- From up here near the peak they can see the great green Apocalypse Dragon Ninhursag striding along the coast towards the prime tentacle to the southeast. It’s working! (50 exp)
- Of course they can also see black Ereshkigal above the prime tentacle, the gravity well above its jaws pulling down the moon. A few miles away, Fate stands locked up at the edge of the river Deeprush. Rebels have stopped it from moving. (50 exp)
--- Return to Fate
- They head back to Fate by wing and by Guber, meet up with Styx in his angel-bot who is ready to address the Rebellion about their final push to victory, and get on the rails down to the Deep City. (50 exp)
- It’s a rollercoaster rush down to the Deep City station, and soon they’re there! The train doors open and reveal a crowd ready to hear Styx’s words! (50 exp)
- And there, on-stage is… Styx!? (50 exp)
--- Usurper of the Rebellion
- The Styx on stage is huge and hench, strikingly handsome despite his Goblin features with a jawline that could cut glass. A green Adonis. Our Styx, the real Styx, cannot fucking believe this. (50 exp)
- Muchacho Romantico, delighted, begins selling churros to the crowd and working his way forward with his churro cart that he apparently just has lying around. (50 exp)
- Styx stands tall in his angel-bot and points at the false Styx, “You’re a fake! I’m the real Styx!” (50 exp)
- False Styx laughs and beckons him forward, declaring to the crowd that this is just one of his rambunctious goblin offspring am I right guys? (50 exp)
- Up close, Styx can see the stitching and scar tissue that marks someone as Remade. This false Styx was transformed into a big goblin-like guy in the Impound of Flesh! (50 exp)
- He also sees that False Styx’s henchmen are blatantly just humans in goblin masks and green body paint. It’s all a trick! (50 exp)
- He calls out the False Styx’s henchmen and tells him to remove their masks. He pretends to tug at their head and says “ha ha no mask here, please pipe down little false Styx”. (50 exp)
- All this messing around means that the goblins in the crowd know what’s up, especially when False Styx claims he reproduces by flexing. At least they’re on side. (50 exp)
- Finally Styx has had enough. “If you won’t take off their masks, I will!”. He turns the angel’s beam cannons on one of the henchmen… and his angel shuts down. “Ha! Only the REAL Styx can control angels!” booms the False Styx. (50 exp)
--- Oh it’s on
- Snels leaps onto the stage and runs towards the henchmen, inflicting one with crippling fear! Dumbledorris leaps on stage and blasts a rush of lady-mones, making the people in the front row start moshing passionately! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD gets a message from Hyper-Jesus via earpiece - “this is bad, kill the real Styx!” - and suddenly has a dilemma! (50 exp)



- Snels is booted back from the henchmen and into the mosh pit, but he unleashes BARBARIAN RAGE and chucks a love-crazed dancer into a gantry overhead! It falls, bowling over Fake Styx and a bunch of his henchmen! (50 exp)
- Real Styx runs up along the gantry and leaps at False Styx, dagger raised above his head, but is knocked aside by the great brute who grabs a greataxe from backstage and turns on him. (50 exp)
- It’s a battle for the soul of the Rebellion! Sparks fly as they square off, huge brute against quick Styx. (50 exp)
- Styx’s followers begin pushing their way through the crowd to support him, and POWERLAD takes flight above the crowd, still debating who he’ll help. (50 exp)
- Snels leaps onto the stage and with impossible strength grabs the gantry and sweeps it across the stage! Everyone is bowled over by the sheer force! (50 exp)
- False Styx is battered in the face but rolls to his feet. He wipes the red blood away from his mouth with the back of his arm. Real Styx points and yells - “red blood! He is no true goblin!”. The goblins in the crowd bay for blood. (50 exp)
- Panicked, False Styx points to the dormant angel-bot and commands it to move! It does so, charging its beam weapons, aiming them straight at the real Styx! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD “accidentally” lands in between the two of them, blocking the shot. Hyper-Jesus projects a hologram from the angel’s eye and commands the death of false prophets! (50 exp)
--- Long live the king
- Real Styx sees this and turns back towards False Styx, framed at the edge of the stage, goblins in the crowd below working themselves into a frenzy. He runs, leaps off the gurney, thrusts out with his legs… (50 exp)
- False Styx stumbles, steps backwards beyond the edge of the stage, begins to fall... (50 exp
- Dumbledorris uses the power of the dancers to cast witch magic, sends out a magical plant-control blast that turns the goblins in the crowd into steely-eyed killers. (50 exp)
- False Styx falls and is torn apart by the goblins. He screams as they tear him limb from limb with their bear hands. Most of the humans stagger backwards in horror, but some join in. His guts are red. (50 exp)
- Styx stands above it all, witnessing the power of the mob. His mob. The Rebellion is his! (50 exp)
- In POWERLAD’s ear, Hyper-Jesus shrieks “Kill him! Kill Styx! He’s ruining everything!” (50 exp)



- Suddenly he stops, and realises he just said that out loud. His hologram was projected to everyone present. (50 exp)
--- Rise up!
- Styx advances on Hyper-Jesus’ projection. He grabs the microphone and addresses the crowd. (50 exp)
- “The Resistance was never about a new Messiah. It’s about people saving themselves, working together, overthrowing a tyrant god!” (50 exp)
- He turns to the projection of Hyper-Jesus, “We’re coming for YOU!” (50 exp)
- Hyper-Jesus’ hologram vanishes. The angel-bot self-destructs. The earpiece in POWERLAD’s ear goes dead. Hyper-Jesus has just… gone. The whirr of machinery starting up again begins across the city. (50 exp)
--- We March!
- A spontaneous march on the Sciotherico has begun across the city. The populace marches onwards to surround the palace entrance. On the way, on the train, surrounded by his supporters, Styx admits something to the rest of the party - he’s been in control of the Resistance the whole time. (50 exp)
- What a twist! He’s been working at cross-purposes to the party! (50 exp)
- To be fair everyone assumed as much. They weren’t expecting me, the DM, to be lying for him outside of the game though! The cruelest twist of all! (50 exp)
- While the crowds gather at the front of the palace, Styx and his crew enter the throne room via the steam tunnels. (50 exp)
- They find the throne room is full of rotating protective spheres, but one by one they stop spinning and retract, leading up to the throne itself. There is a woman slumped there, wires and cables connecting to the wooden circlet upon her brow. (50 exp)
- With Hyper-Jesus gone, a projection of Dispater appears at the foot of the steps leading up to the throne. He introduces himself to Styx and motions to the throne - “I suppose it’s only fitting, the Crown needs a strong will yet a spirit of collaboration, a person with confidence and compassion. Terms Termax was never that man.” (50 exp)
- “Styx, would you be the one to take the throne? Will you become the new Fated King?” (50 exp)
--- Long Live the King!!!
- Styx approaches the throne reverently, ascending the steps and standing before it. The figure on the throne looks up at him painfully, “Why did He leave me?” (50 exp)
- Styx takes the wooden circlet from her brow. She spasms once, then slumps forward and collapses on the throne’s steps.
- He takes the throne and lowers the crown onto his head. Immediately there is a clamour of voices, a direct link to the city itself, and the sense of being amongst many minds. His irises become a colour wheel, a combination of the eyes of all who’ve worn the crown. (50 exp)
- He can feel the city like it’s his body. An experience that would overwhelm, were it not for the souls of prior Fated Kings and Queens in the crown taking on the mental load of controlling Battlefortress Fate. (50 exp)
- Dispater waves a robed arm and declares, “Styx is the true Fated King, by the will of God and Man! Long Live the King!” (50 exp)
- Outside, Styx’s head appears projected above the palace, smiling benevolently. The palace doors open, people flood into the throne room and fall to their knees before their new Fated King. A chant goes up across the city - “Long Live the King! Long Live the King!” (50 exp)



-
--
--- Post Credits
- While the city roars their praise for their new saviour, a robed POWERLAD ducks into an unseen alcove. He taps his earpiece, hoping the Hyper-Jesus can still hear him. (50 exp)
- He gets a faint signal, Hyper-Jesus’ voice staticky and distant. (50 exp)
- “POWERLAD, I was only doing what was right. I was following the original schematics, you’ve got to believe me! Persuade them to take the city to Dwimmermount, it’s the only place with enough Azoth to power the city’s Sky-Fortress mode!” (50 exp)
- In the distance, another pulse of blackness from the downed Black Sun washes across the land. The earpiece goes dead. POWERLAD’s dilemma continues. (50 exp)
Total: 3250 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- Holy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Literally for real a terrorist bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1350 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Kitty, Carter - 100 exp ea.)
- Caller (James / Abhor Global - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Muchacho Romantico - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Suzie / Dumbledorris - 100 exp) - Art Attack (Charles - 100 exp) - Artapalooza (Charles - 100 exp)- Mügmastyr bonus (Charles, Kitty - 100 exp ea.) - Inspiring Speech bonus (Carter - 100 exp) - Good End bonus (Carter - 500 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
-
Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 157849 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp) 
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 50169 (Level up at 72000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Meat Points! +1 Mutation Capacity!
- James / Abhor Global, Level 6 Extras: 25443 (Level up at 48000)
*DING!* +1d12 HP! +1 Named Character! +backstory!*DING!* +1d12 HP! +1 Named Character! +backstory!  
- Jorge / Oliver Snels, Level 5 Barbarian: 23264 (Level up at 32000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian rolls! +backstory! 
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian rolls! +backstory! 
- Charles, ??? Romantico, Level 5 Barbarian: 30655 (Level up at 32000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian rolls! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian rolls! +backstory!    
- Carter's Next Character: +18291 exp!

Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 81366 (Level up at 128000)
*ASCENDED TO GOD-KING*

Absent or Retired:
- Timothy / Galaxy RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 38181 (Level up at 72000) 
--- Styx's Disciples
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)   
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000) 
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)    
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp) 
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)

-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

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