Date: 30 July
Moon: Waning Crescent
Zenith: The Allfather
- Events:
--- Split Session
- We emerge to a split session. Sydney is in front of a big old submarine-hatch door, insistent that one wizard with a mook-wipe spell can solo a dungeon. Elsewhere, Aximander and Divinity are speaking with the king of the unicorn men called Strongus Amongus, attempting to persuade him to help them collect God Parts.
-- Lewd Content Warning
- Aximander and Divinity speak to Strongus Amongus. He declares that he's willing to help, and explains that his unicorn forces have been stealing God Parts because the horrible frog men want them. He doesn't know what they're for though.
- After explaining that they are parts of a mechanical God, intended to be sent up into space to defend against the invading Red Elves, he is somewhat confused but agrees to a deal - he'll give the party the God Parts if it means defeating the frog men!
- Together they go to the room where the God Parts are stored. There they see... shock! A wounded unicorn man?? Having some sort of congress with a winged frog lady?? It's that demon they met last time who agreed to get four God Parts for Hagen! What could they possibly be doing?!
--- Sydney and the Frogs
- After explaining that they are parts of a mechanical God, intended to be sent up into space to defend against the invading Red Elves, he is somewhat confused but agrees to a deal - he'll give the party the God Parts if it means defeating the frog men!
- Together they go to the room where the God Parts are stored. There they see... shock! A wounded unicorn man?? Having some sort of congress with a winged frog lady?? It's that demon they met last time who agreed to get four God Parts for Hagen! What could they possibly be doing?!
--- Sydney and the Frogs
- Sydney is facing the big ol' submarine hatch door. They have drawn a Turn-Heat-Heat glyph on it in the hope that everything within boils.
- Sydney did not consider that the frogs in the pot might not want to boil.
- The locking wheel turns! Sydney quick-casts Meta-Manipulation, hoping that their ability to turn dice will protect them! The door blasts open, sending water cascading out and revealing a frog-man with very burnt hands on the other side!
- Also within - way more frog-men, some unicorn-men with breathing helmets, some beautiful frog ladies, and the huge demonic form of Eleyn! A former character, Eleyn mind-swapped herself into a very NSFW demon form and is now a spawning pod for frog men.
- The foremost frog-man tongue-attacks Sydney and whips himself towards the wizard! Sydney falls back, wrestled, and resists the frog's poisonous bite.
- Sydney casts Cloudkill into the room, hoping that it instakills everything or something. Alas! Meta-Manipulation causes all spells to Chaos Burst! A yawning portal opens behind Sydney, those in the cloud turn into stone gorillas, and another cloud encompasses Sydney!
- Sydney did not consider that the frogs in the pot might not want to boil.
- The locking wheel turns! Sydney quick-casts Meta-Manipulation, hoping that their ability to turn dice will protect them! The door blasts open, sending water cascading out and revealing a frog-man with very burnt hands on the other side!
- Also within - way more frog-men, some unicorn-men with breathing helmets, some beautiful frog ladies, and the huge demonic form of Eleyn! A former character, Eleyn mind-swapped herself into a very NSFW demon form and is now a spawning pod for frog men.
- The foremost frog-man tongue-attacks Sydney and whips himself towards the wizard! Sydney falls back, wrestled, and resists the frog's poisonous bite.
- Sydney casts Cloudkill into the room, hoping that it instakills everything or something. Alas! Meta-Manipulation causes all spells to Chaos Burst! A yawning portal opens behind Sydney, those in the cloud turn into stone gorillas, and another cloud encompasses Sydney!
- Luckily Sydney is too high level to get instakilled, so runs into the room. There is a big floating portal to the depths of the ocean in here, apparently linked to a horrible frog statue, and Sydney chucks it back in!
- It doesn't work as well as they hoped. Writhing black tentacles reach out from the portal, and Sydney flees!
- It doesn't work as well as they hoped. Writhing black tentacles reach out from the portal, and Sydney flees!
--- The Unicorn Cannon Cart
- It was all a big misunderstanding back in the unicorn zone. You see, the succubus was merely trying to help the poor injured unicorn man... plus he doesn't even have a penis so it's all above board.
- Strongus Amongus reiterates he's willing to part with the God Parts if they are at least unavailable to the frog monsters, his hated foes.
- The injured unicorn man was meant to be guarding the room with the Unicorn Cannon - a ballista that uses unicorn horns (ethically sourced) as ammunition. With some persuasion, Strongus agrees to let them mount it on the cart. Between the four newly acquired God Parts and the Unicorn Cannon, this cart is quite unwieldy.
- Strongus Amongus reiterates he's willing to part with the God Parts if they are at least unavailable to the frog monsters, his hated foes.
- The injured unicorn man was meant to be guarding the room with the Unicorn Cannon - a ballista that uses unicorn horns (ethically sourced) as ammunition. With some persuasion, Strongus agrees to let them mount it on the cart. Between the four newly acquired God Parts and the Unicorn Cannon, this cart is quite unwieldy.
- They head off and intone the necessary "Ave Vespusian" to disable the teleport maze as they go.
- Beyond is a buff unicorn man guarding the teleport zone. He tells them what he knows of the corridors ahead, and admits that he traded a God Part to the Ratmen in return for some muscle enhancement medicine. He's very nice.
- Beyond is a buff unicorn man guarding the teleport zone. He tells them what he knows of the corridors ahead, and admits that he traded a God Part to the Ratmen in return for some muscle enhancement medicine. He's very nice.
- One of the rooms is allegedly a toilet, so for some reason Aximander and Divinity head there first. Behold! Squat toilets! Also... some sort of yellow ooze!
--- Sydney Shenanigans Continue
- Not content with the fates being on their side and a clear ability to leave at pace, Sydney decides to stick around and try further murder. They cast Carve Rune into the ground, creating a huge Beam Decay rune facing the ceiling! Strangely, despite the death of the Mass Dragon, it works!
- Sydney looks triumphant... but suddenly turns off the rune. They realise something due to a Chaos Burst - everyone in that room is a close sibling! They can't kill them!
- The stone gorillas crumble, revealing the bronicorns within. Alas, the frog-men were killed by the Cloudkill. The Bronicorns, on the orders of the frog-lady mermaids, are already pulling the portal's horrible frog statue back into the room.
- Sydney looks triumphant... but suddenly turns off the rune. They realise something due to a Chaos Burst - everyone in that room is a close sibling! They can't kill them!
- The stone gorillas crumble, revealing the bronicorns within. Alas, the frog-men were killed by the Cloudkill. The Bronicorns, on the orders of the frog-lady mermaids, are already pulling the portal's horrible frog statue back into the room.
- The bronicorns, statue saved, charge at Sydney! Sydney quickly blasts the statue with Magic Missile, blowing it up, but takes a couple of horn attacks from the unicorn-men! Meta-manipulation mitigates the harm.
--- Slime Secrets
- Elsewhere the yellow ooze, declared a "piss slime" by Divinity, squirms towards the heroes! It is quickly defeated by a blast of fire from Aximander. Sydney's distant meta-manipulation is still up though, so a Chaos Burst ensues! The slime is simultaneously turned to stone, turned invisible, and blasted into a thousand urinal cake crumbs.
- Divinity loots the toilets. Aximander looks on in disgust, but does hook a vial of holy water out of a toilet while Divinity isn't looking.
- Aximander notices a secret door on the other side of the room, which opens out into a little chamber containing a statue of one of the Nine High Gods - The Scorned! Divinity prays and gets a blessing of +2 to damage. Nice.
- Divinity loots the toilets. Aximander looks on in disgust, but does hook a vial of holy water out of a toilet while Divinity isn't looking.
- Aximander notices a secret door on the other side of the room, which opens out into a little chamber containing a statue of one of the Nine High Gods - The Scorned! Divinity prays and gets a blessing of +2 to damage. Nice.
- They exit the chamber and witness some absolute fucking chaos in the teleport maze. Aximander gets punched by Sydney who suddenly vanishes. There is a swirl of spores. Some sort of evil mushroom...?
--- Return to the Past
- No longer stone gorillas, Eleyn and the rest of the surviving frog team pursue Sydney! Sydney can't attack them because they're siblings, so instead flees into the teleport maze.
- Through a convoluted sequence of chaotic events Sydney takes a wrong turn, casts Cloudkill "accidentally" on Eleyn and the gang, warps through the teleport maze twice, and ends up in a mirror universe where an alternate Sydney has just been murdered by buff frogs wielding big bident spears!
- Sydney chats with the frogs a bit, then turns back to the portal to discover that nega-Sydney's familiar (a pet rock) is exploding into a demonic darkness-projecting mushroom to take revenge!
- Sydney sprints into the mushroom chamber, grabs nega-Sydney's golden spellbook, and flash-casts Escape Rope to get out of there... but
- The magic twists. Sydney emerges from the red doors of Dwimmermount. The distant sea is blue and beautiful. The sky is sunny and normal. The grass is green, the forests lush. Distant cities bustle with life.
- Is this... the past?!
- Is this... the past?!
Total: 8000 exp
Enemies Defeated:
- Several Deep Ones (150 exp)
Total: 150 exp
Total: 150 exp
Loots Looted:
- 6 God Parts (6000 exp)
- 16sp (16 exp)
- 10' metal chain
- 10' metal chain
- Counter-Sydney's Spellbook (1000 exp)
Total: 7016 exp
Exp Totals:
- Carter / Sydney, Level 8 Magic-User: 208015 (Level up at 288000)
- Kitty / Julian & Aximander, Level 7 Languid Wastrel: 122391 (Level up at 144000)
- Ollie / Divinity, Level 6 Battle-Cleric (Fighter 3/ Cleric 3): 66404 (Level up at 72000)
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