Session 407 - Oiling Up in Ur-Jeizhek

Date: 29th April 1625

Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent

Moon Face: Clean Face

Zenith Deity: Alaunus

New Characters:

- Algernon, a mayfly awakened by circumstances unknown. Its familiar is a human man. Muscle Wizard (he's the muscle, it's the wizard).

New Backstory:

- Strangers entered Zeppelino's town (Drudgespar) and he helped scare them away due to suspicions that they were in league with the hated Dwarves. +2 Strength.

- While Zeppelino was in the lost dimension, he saw something awful vanish away... Once per session, induce crippling fear in a creature who sees something horrible behind you.

Events:

--- Death and Taxes

- Algernon the Mayfly flits around the head of his human familiar as it enters the bustling goblin city of Drudgespar. According to the guards, the city is being lifted so it's lucky to get in when it still can!
- Roofworks continue - large-scale Repel Lightning runes are being drawn facing upwards towards the lightning-wielding Drakencult in the Rigging above. The Rigging itself strains against the upwards force of an enormous stitched-together blue whale balloon, pulling the city out of the sucking muck of the Wastes.

- It sees a strange sight. In front of an enormous part-mechanical scorpion, a haphazard party of adventurer types is being accosted by goblin tax collectors, demanding back taxes. With a lazy flick of the claw the tax collectors are all mulched!

- Algernon is somehow enamoured with joining this group. Algernon joins the party!

--- Ur-Jeizhek Exposed!

- The party is debating where to go next since Drudgespar is, for now, in an uneasy truce between the Drakencult above and the main population below.

- But wait, wasn't Ur-Jeizhek accessible now since the city's being lifted into the air? Let's go there!
- Maxwell grabs some explosives, Zeppelino recruits some more goblins, and they take the attack scorpion to the outside of the city.

- It's a sloppy slide down through the muck, the scorpion bracing against the slick melted-together brick of outer Drudgespar. They can see changes in the strata of the city walls as they go down, the colours of the oozing wasteland through time. Various shades of purples and blues and blacks, with the occasional stark band of green.

- They soon arrive at the bottom and see glowing Ur-Jeizhek, the first surface-worlders to see it for over a thousand years! The surface is a football field-sized plane of verdegrised brass carved with softly glowing sigils. Five obvious entrances (with turnstiles) are arranged around the space in a pentagon, it looks like the exposed turnstiles structures could hinge closed to be flush with the surface.

--- Queue Jumping Not Tolerated
- Alas, these are person-sized entrances, so the attack scorpion will have to wait here for now. Manrat puts it on sentry mode (ie. the crew is on standby).
- Maxwell tries to hope the nearest turnstile and... BAM! A Dwarf-shaped robot pops up and shoots him!

- Zeppelino flings his Gunk Bomb into the place where the robot popped out, and the next time someone jumps the turnstile it pops up into the glue, disabling it! Zeppelino leaves an Out of Order sign and the party continue in.

--- Ungreased Tube

- Below, the entry chamber is dominated by a big statue of the Allfather. He looks Terran - double-wide Dwarf - rather than the human form our resident Nonanists are used to. The surroundings are carved with images of abundance. Vast crops of Plump Helmet mushrooms and overpopulated fields of meat beasts like rats and grubs.
- They discover that the eyes of the Allfather are actually buttons! A flume opens up beneath the statue, perfectly person-sized. Algernon sends his man-shaped familiar down the chute, a booming voice says "death waits for you!", and the familiar somehow reforms from the mayfly's body. Something killed it.

- Maxwell pours some oil down the flume and sets it alight, hoping to burn whatever it is down there. Then they tie a rope around Bulgur and send him down to scout. He can't see what's down there, but the echoes indicate that there's a room down there. They slide down a torch.

- Bulgur, now holding the torch, looks around the place. The flume does indeed end in a big pit, there are bones at the bottom. The pit is in a larger room though, with floors made from fused stone and copper.

- They lower Bulgur into the pit proper and he roots around the remains. He finds a fleshy Elf ear with an earring worth 1720 obols! Result!

--- Rune Revelations

- Carved upon the walls of this chamber are various reliefs showing Major Runes and their relationships to various arcologies. Make is associated with the Forge Lore Dwarfs of Ur-Kalladh, Beam with the Glyph Lore Dwarves of Ur-Jeizhek, and so on.
- Most intriguingly, two new Major Runes are shown! Experimentation reveals that one (like a double concave lens) allows one to commune with its element. The other (an inverted T-shape) is like a compass that points to the nearest and/or largest concentration of the element. Carter, I mean Algernon, is thrilled!

- On another wall is a mural depicting a strange ritual - "The Ineluctable Pallid Commandment to Bind the Suckered Abomination".

--- Deep Fried

- The next room has lots of crates and barrels. Goblin zombies leap out from behind them to attack! They smell super tasty because they've been infusing the olive oil and air-dried since being somehow zombified.

- Zeppelino unleashes his firing squad of goblin bowmen, while Manrat's pistol unfortunately explodes! Bulgur fumbles his Pumpkinhead Axe attack, chipping the magical weapon!

- Maxwell gambits to yank two zombies into each other, crits, Bulgur joins in, fumbles, and gets bitten! He passes his Doom save versus whatever it is these zombies do to you!

- Between the goblin horde (now down a Goblin, alas poor Bean) and Bulgur's wild axe-swinging, the zoblins are finally defeated!

--- Oil and Feasting

- They inspect the barrels and ohohooo! It's loads of tasty olive oil infused with the fresh taste of Goblin! Dubbing it "Golive Oil" they take the lot! 4 barrels at 2000 obols each makes this a very lucrative find!

- They also find pastes and embalming tools made from the bones of humans and elves... concerning.

- Manrat sets up a field kitchen as the others look around the rest of the room, finding various other loot.

- He cooks "Fish and Chips But With a Cobra" which contains cobra meat, pickled goblin, plump helmet mushroom, potato, and golive oil. It's tasty! The dinner perk gives +2 to cooked meal deliciousness, which will be helpful.

- The party settles down to eat their first meal inside Ur-Jeizhek proper... but will it be their last??

Total: 8000 exp

Treasure:

- 4 barrels of Golive Oil (8000 exp)
- Pierced Elf Ear (1720 exp)

- Vial of Lubricant

- 3 Red Eye Cigarettes grant infravision while smoked
- Rare inks and Parchments halve spell research cost.

- Trinkets worth 1000 obols (1000 exp)

- Hastily drawn map of dungeon area

- 3 Blue Eye Cigarettes grant +4 Charisma while smoked

Total: 10720 exp

Murders:

- A few olive oil zombies (80 exp)

Total: 80 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler, Cartographer and Paymaster (300 exp/level)

- Kitty the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)

- Mason the Vanguard (100 exp/level)

- George the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Level 7 Barbarian: 92728 (Level up at 128000)

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 7 Ratman: 73327 (Level up at 112000)

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 7 Goblin: 71529 (Level up at 128000)

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 6 Specialist: 49171 (Level up at 56000)

- Mason / Algernon, Level 2 Mayfly Muscle Wizard: 3860 (Level up at 4500)
*LEVEL UP! +1d4 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! Plus Backstory!