Session 53 - Tomb Raiders

I can't wait until you guys see the message that John Doe would have received. Although if the blood cart had been explained, maybe you never would have hung around to find the mysterious dungeon in the mausoleum.
I love that in the absence of monsters you totally just fabricated their existence. You are all still horrible people. And so I can look it up later - DEFCON stands for Deadly Evil Fiendish Carnivorous Ominous Nasties.

And man, you guys are shooting up the levels these days! Turns out robbing the pampered dead is highly lucrative.

Session 53 - Tomb Raiders

Campaign date:
Sunday, 22 September, 1549
Moon phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Virgo

Enemies defeated:

- Henry Graves the innocent but theatrical undertaker, throat torn out by wolf (0 exp)

- Sandra Graves his loving wife, leg chopped off then strangled (0 exp)

- An animated statue wielding two swords, baited into a pit trap (250 exp)

Total: 250 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 47sp, 54cp (53 exp)

- Engagement ring and old drafts of marriage proposal speech dated 1526 (60 exp)

- 174 thin jade tablets, each carved with a different face, worth 50sp ea. (8700 exp)

- Brass nose with etchings intended to guard against disease. (20 exp)

- Silver earring embossed with lion rampant over a fallen hawk. (250 exp)

- Scale mail (counts as chain) with shield-shaped icon on chest - an acorn in a crown (200 sp)

- Leather armour with surprisingly christmassy image painted on chest - reindeer in red leaping in front of a pine tree in green. (50 exp)

- Snakeskin boots with trim of unidentifiable black fur (50 exp)

- A brass sword (20 exp)

- 3 silver-tipped spears with mahogany shafts (600 exp)

- Rapier tingles when touched, flashes redly in torchlight (50 exp)

- Violet robe (400 exp)

Total: 10453 exp

Exploration:

- 25 miles of travel (80 exp)

- First party to enter Little Reaching (100 exp)

- First party to enter the Warrior's Mausoleum (100 exp)

- 1 secret door found (50 exp)

- 3 dungeon areas explored (60 exp)

Total: 390 exp

Events:

- Travelled to investigate rumours of zombies in Little Reaching (50 exp)
- Arrived to find a small village with a large graveyard, three large mausoleums (50 exp)

- Lulu and Stabbington had their fortunes told by Griselda the village mystic - "A rope will snap as music plays" and "A spherical object will make you laugh" respectively. (50 exp)

- Got info from townsfolk, bartered rights to a rundown house in exchange for getting rid of the zombie problem. Discovered carts carrying large amounts of blood being taken to suspected Necromancer in mountain cave. (50 exp)

- Joe Joe entertains crowd with wolf tricks. (50 exp)

- Met Harry Graves, the immediately suspicious and unhelpful undertaker with keys to the graveyard. (50 exp)

- Lulu and Stabbington try to kick his door down in full view of the townsfolk, fail, explain it away as "testing the door". They are believed. (50 exp)

- U the Monk tries to lever off the door's hinges in full view of townsfolk, lynch mob assuaged only by promise that party will take U away to be hanged. (50 exp)

- Plan is formed to get keys and fabricate evidence of zombies so that they can be "stopped". Lulu distracts villagers in the evening with partying, arm wrestling. (50 exp)

- Rest of party begins home invasion. Smoky interior leads to chaos. Stabbington chops off Harry's wife's leg thinking her a zombie. U tries to peg Stabbington thinking him a necromancer. Leo accidentally kicks hot coals everywhere. Lulu covers screams with increasingly loud shouting. (50 exp)
- Screams cause Harry to flee for help, Joe Joe's wolf rips his throat out. Sandra Graves hops to door, begins to scream for help, Joe Joe fires on her with her pistol, Stabbington chokes her out. (50 exp)

- Gunshot unmistakeable over noise of party. Villagers panic, try to check out what's happening. Lulu punches out the strongest guy in the village to intimidate them into stay inside until she's checked it's safe. (50 exp)
- Party grab keys, hurriedly try to make it look like a monster attack. (50 exp)

- Villagers soon run out, see party inspecting scene, thank them for chasing off monsters. Party "investigate" mausoleums, take everything not nailed down. Final mausoleum contains possible necromancer, party decide to lock the door and rouse lynch mob in morning. (50 exp)

- The next morning, the necromancer turns out to be a statue in a spookily fluttering cloak. More stuff is looted. Front of statue's base is found to be detachable, has a crawlway behind. (50 exp)

- Entered warrior dungeon, explored a couple of rooms before being chased out by an actual living statue. (50 exp)

Total: 800 exp

Misc:

- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)

- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)

- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)

- Asshole bonus (0 exp - U)

- Owed for mind-controlling a wolf last session (100 exp - Joe Joe)

Total: 400 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- "There is a third city between Edge and Dwarrow. It is called Orciny."

- "Strange dwarfs have been heading out of Dwimmermount and trying to join Muntburg society. They are hated by other Dwarfs."

- "Muntburg is under attack! Horrible giant spiders are swarming out of Dwimmermount to feast!"

- "There's been zombies seen in the hills around Little Reaching, those undead must've found a way under the river!"

- "Gates through the wall are gates to another place. If you climbed over the wall you'd reach a different place than through a gate."

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today!

Exp Totals:

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 9376 (Level up at 14000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 2 spell per day!

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8037 (Level up at 16000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Level Up table!

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 2 Fighter: 3855 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 on crit/fumble table!

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 2 Halfling: 2927 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to saves! +1 to Taming!

-- Pad 2, Level 0 Wolf

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 18778 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2981 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 4158 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human