Thursday, 8 September 2016

Session 104 - Apoocalypse Now

A thrillingly scatological session to be sure, with an excellent aside of accidental attempted murder. Is it even murder if you kill a ratman or is that just animal cruelty?

Next session the Mad Hatter is, horrifically, booked out! Oh no!
Andy / Cranky Jim has nobly offered up his house as a venue, so it'll be at his place next week. I won't post the full address here because it's his actual home, but it's near Tottenham Court Road.
Send me an email if you want to come so I can let him know numbers!

In summary -
No Mad Hatter next week 13th September
Send me an email to RSVP for Andy's place

This week we have ART from Tom and also a not-art-but-totally-counts Facebook page for Tomb Busters also from Tom, to the continued chagrin of Stabbington Shanks.

Inline images 1

Session 104 - Apoocalypse Now

Campaign Date:
Friday, 5 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Una, a Specialist who is a former (and current?) cultist, good at identifying potions and things as a result.

Enemies Defeated:
- A shapeshifting slime monster, befriended to within an inch of its life (75 exp)
- Two long-mouthed curse monsters, ripped to bits (100 exp)
Total: 175 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 416 gold in ooze jar (20800 exp)
- Potion #223
- Potion #153
- Scroll #113
- A lens that shows secret doors when looked through.
- A vial of holy water
- A heart from a flesh pillar
Total: 20800 exp


- 7 more dungeon areas explored (140 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)
- First party to visit the (miniature) village of Amlen (200 exp)
Total: 390 exp
New Backstory:- Eleyn was washed away during a family trip to Guernsey, back in the good old days before the Witch Pirate sailed the channel. She was saved by her beloved sister Nora but has feared the open water ever since. (+2 to saves when nowhere near open water)
- The group are joined in the mushroom house by Una who's been wandering around in here for a while. They join the party. (50 exp)
- First things first, they head over to the rebirthing chamber and block the main way out and put some traps and stuff on the floor to prevent the uninitiated from leaving easily. (50 exp)
- Jumurak, noticing the symmetry of the first dungeon level, decides to check out the section of wall symmetrically opposite the entry to the rebirth room. Score! A secret door! (50 exp)
- Inside is what appears to be a previous group's equivalent of the mushroom house, now abandoned. Notable are a ten foot pole, a jar of fart putty-esque clear slime with gold coins in it, and some potions and scrolls under some cloaks. (50 exp)
- After a false start down the wrong stairs, the group crosses the acid lake and continues down to level 3. OoooOOOoOOooo. (50 exp)
- Eleyn sneaks ahead in the dark, moving between some fleshy pillars and... her heart jumps out of her chest! Literally! She dies, incredibly surprised, but not before Sophia manages to get her Last Breath in a vial. (50 exp)
- A rat is sent between the pillars and its heart goes flying a full 10 foot. It dies. (50 exp)
- Guido is sent through and... he's totally ok! Guido rips the shit out of the flesh pillars and they are disabled. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc decides to get some rat mapping done, sending a buncd ahead to scout things out. Turns out there's a lot for rats to love ahead. (50 exp)
- Eleyn turns up with bug eyes and night vision and the ability to evaluate gems on sight. Basically, the perfect assassin. But on the other hand she's a fucking horrorshow. (50 exp)
- The rat map is inspected, three exits go from the next room. The group enter and Rat LeBlanc goes to check out the room the rats really loved the look of. Turns out it's absolutely loaded with poo. Classic. (50 exp)
- LeBlanc travels up another passage, it turns and opens into a small room with a hole in the middle. Down the hole is a whole load of poo. (50 exp)
- He drops a rat down to investigate, and it reports that there's a lot of poo and a lot of people in the next room after that! (50 exp)
- It doesn't click for Rat LeBlanc and he becomes worried about all the people down there. Eventually he realises it's the rest of the group and goes "OOOoooooh!" as though it's a big twist even though everybody else figured it out immediately. (50 exp)
- Eleyn and Rat LeBlanc decide to dive into the poo and get into the room beyond it, since a rat reported there was someone in there with a robe with a mace. (50 exp)
- The others go beyond the poo hole room and see a large chamber whose floor is made up of a whole lot of goopy slushy dark gunk. (50 exp)
- The pair of poo divers burst out in a spray of stank. Both are horrible and monstrous due to all their mutations, and the girl in the robes with the mace is all WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK (50 exp)
- LeBlanc goes in for the kill for reasons unknown, the girl screams for help... then transforms into a blobby tentacle monster. Good thinking, ratman. (50 exp)
- Eleyn tries to help with her pistols, shooting Ratman in the back and dropping him immediately. Oops. (50 exp)
- Followup attack! Eleyn unsheathes the childbone dagger and the virgin blade! And chucks them at the unconscious ratman! He's fucked! (50 exp)
- Others arrive! Sophia ghost-blasts the creature through the barricade of shit that it was standing inside of and it escapes into the darkness, bleeding green goop. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc is quickly healed. Eleyn acts casual. Zan spots the vial of holy water that was on top of the poo barricade and pockets it. (50 exp)
- Pressing on, the now incredibly smelly party find themselves in a large cavern on a smooth walkway just above the bubbling brown liquid that covers the rest of the area. (50 exp)
- On a particularly high bulging island of walkway, there is a small model village in a glass dome! There are tiny living people inside, tilling tiny fields and going about their tiny lives, fearfully watching the sky. (50 exp)
- The group splits up a little, one group continues to mess with the village while the other go to find the hurt tentacle monster. The village group is attacked by some sort of weird stretchy-mouthed monster whose jaw dangles all the way down to its crotch! (50 exp)
- The others find a still body suspiciously similar to the monster's shapeshifted disguise. They poke it carefully into the brown liquid... where it just floats away. (50 exp)
- But there's an attack! The monster jumps out from where it was hiding underwater! Combat is joined! Una the newbie gets messed up and plops into the liquid! Another mouth monster emerges on the other side! Oh no! (50 exp)
- Zan on the village side tries to shoot the monster, misses, and is cursed with temporary blindness. Luckily Guido and Powerman are there to kill it. (50 exp)
- Guido and Sophia head round to the other group and leave Zan to blink away his blindess. Sophia hook-sticks Una from the mildly acidic liquid while Guido just tears the other mouth guy apart. (50 exp)
- With a knife at "her" throat and surrounded by enemies, the tentacle monster is befriended. She can mirror anyone apparently, and really doesn't seem to know much other than vague mentions of the "Progenitor" being her parent. (50 exp)
- The group head back through the poo room and all the way back up to the mushroom house to rest up. God it must really stink in there now. (50 exp)
Total: 1550 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Cranky Jim, Rat LeBlanc, Jumurak - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (Eleyn - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (all others - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Rat LeBlanc)
Total: 550 exp + bonuses
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, died suddenly and unexpectedly when her heart shot straight out of her chest after passing between some organ pillars.


Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 40126 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 28272 (Level up at 56000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +1 level 3 spell/day!
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 19411 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 16453 (Level up at 18000)
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 15202 (Level up at 17600)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 14361 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Maximum rats - 25!
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +Super Secret Barbarian Level Up Table!
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points!
Absent or Retired:
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)

Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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