Tuesday, 6 September 2016

Session 103 - I'd Rather be an Abortion than Dead

Absolute tons of art today, courtesy of Tom who's forced me to add extra art categories to deal with the cavalcade.

The rebirth chamber sac is pretty fucked now, so good work there. See you lot tonight!

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Ratman and Eleyn see monsters in the VERY WALLS!

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What a handsome rat.

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Sophia shoots ghosts down the stairwell!

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Eleyn climbs to reclaim the fabled HOOK ON A STICK!

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The party light up the mushroom and sit around swapping tales of way back before they got stuck in this horrible dungeon.

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Guido's just pleased to be able to play an instrument now!

Session 103 - I'd Rather be an Abortion than Dead

Campaign Date:
Last Day, 30 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Full
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Stonecold, a Muscle Wizard and fomer pig farmer. Has a piglet he hates.
- Grunt the Barbarian, wary of sexy monsters.

Enemies Defeated:
- Two gold eaters, slain dramatically (500 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Golden witch heart (1000 exp)
- Two gold eater corpses (15000 exp)
Total: 16000 exp


- 1 more dungeon area explored (20 exp)
Total: 20 exp

New Backstory:- While spying on the governor from the roofs, Jumurak's accomplice broke his ankle. Jumurak had to kill them to save himself and escape. (If you take a cowardly option that likely harms others, get +1 to your next roll)
- Zan pulled off a magnificent prank on the morning after the flagellant concert-rave, he set up a device that made a massive noise rang out amongst the hungover crowd when the preacher opened the Bible. (+1 Tinkering)
- Eleyn used to take trace amounts of poison to build up her resistance to it... and got addicted. She was forced to quit cold turkey by her sister. (Drug effects are doubled)
- Rat LeBlanc was nearly caught in a mouse trap in his youth and realised life was too short to give up on his dreams, from then on he decided he would be an actor! (Take half damage from traps someone else set off)
- Shiz had dreams of being a political figure, but his dabblings in magic would be a massive PR blunder. Unfortunately he was outed as a wizard, and made a deal to leave town until everything blew over. In exchange he will be able to salvage his political career when he returns. (When you make a deal with an adversary, gain +1 to reaction rolls for the rest of the session)
- Stonecold's pig farmer friend, Triple H, was killed by the local landlord Shane McMahon. Stonecold curses his name to this day. (Deal double damage against creatures that killed a PC this session)
- Grunt saw a terrifying harpie hag creature at his window in his youth and hid. He avoided its lustful attentions intact. (Once per session, cause the most terrifying threat on the local encounter table to show up somehow)

- THE CLIFFHANGER RETURNS and we rejoin Rat LeBlanc and Eleyn beneath the earth where the gold monsters are swimming through the very walls! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc flees deeper while Eleyn bolts for the spiral stairs! Stairwell fighting gimmick begins. The others, above, hear the screams and come to assist. (50 exp)
- Zan jumps on the bannister rail and grinds down at rapid speed! He smashes the gold monster attacking Eleyn in the head on the way past. (50 exp)
- Sophia follows up with a GHOST BEAM, blasting one of the monsters down the stairs. (50 exp)
- Jumurak's amoebae slurp along the walls as they follow him down the stairs. They're much more effective than him, since they can actually hit things. (50 exp)
- The gold monster down the bottom is killed and hits the ground with a dull clang. Glee turns to worry as the group realise these things are made of gold... and attract more of their kind. (50 exp)
- An attempt is made to sort of wrap a corpse around the dead gold eater, to mixed success. It's disgusting either way. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile up the stairs, Eleyn has escaped into Guido's waiting arms and Jumurak's amoebae have finally overwhelmed the other gold monster. The amoeba wraps it up to stop the scent escaping. (50 exp)
- Lugging the corpses out of the staircase, the group are worried when they start hearing sounds from the walls and seeing occasional glimpses of gold bodies swimming through rock. (50 exp)
- Some goblins show up to check on the noise, have a quick chat, then go on their merry way. They're kind of over the whole getting murdered by the dozens thing by this point. (50 exp)
- After covering the gold bodies with the smelliest shit they can find (including actual shit), the group rests and recuperates in the mushroom house. Charmington's done a nice job fixing up the place. (50 exp)
- Eleyn smokes some mushroom, the narcotic sentispores enter her lungs and fungal fingers replace her birth-mangled stumps. Score! (50 exp)
- Fearing for the state of the flesh-testicle, the group enters the rebirth chamber and tries to cut the ratman corpse out of the now smelly and partially rotten sac. The wounds are cauterised with gunpowder and Zan blows a bunch of Cure Light Wounds on it but it looks pretty fucked. (50 exp)
- The question of whether to destroy the thing and thus prevent the rebirth of their enemies is considered, but rebirth is decided to be worth the downsides. (50 exp)
- Descending back down to the intestine level, Eleyn goes on ahead to scout things out in a fucking terrifying way crawling along the walls with her six arms like a horrible spider. Sneaky, though. (50 exp)
- She crawls through a greasy room that tests her climbing abilities, but no problem! She crawls onwards and turns a corner to find... the witch harpy bitch's room! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Sophia's long-lost hook-on-a-stick can be seen on a perch high up on the ceiling. Hurrah! Also in this room are a bunch of gold babies. (50 exp)
- Shiz gets bored of all the waiting around and decides to follow on, reaching the grease room and failing to notice the orange blob up on the ceiling that spits a glob of fire straight at him! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc, seeing this, goes into a sonnet and bangs on about feed'sting thou life's flame. It is surely appreciated. (50 exp)
- Shiz tries running back but his leg's been burnt clean off. Zan shouts that he hasn't got a leg to stand on. Constant rebirth has turned everyone into even bigger psychopaths than they already were. (50 exp)
- Eleyn witnesses more goblins being dropped in by the harpy lady, who go to investigate all the noise and screams and fire. Eleyn herself climbs up the walls and grabs the hook-on-a-stick. Score! (50 exp)
- The others go back up to the rebirth chamber to see what happened. Shiz crawls out of the festering skin sac, skin in tatters and moaning in pain. He now glows when someone casts Light near him, is hated by demons, and permanently has 4 less HP. (50 exp)
- Shock and disgust give way to animated conversation. Should the flesh sac be destroyed? It's clearly fucked. The immortal words "I'd rather be an abortion than dead" are uttered, and the sac is left to stew for now. (50 exp)
- Eleyn, meanwhile, is stuck behind enemy lines. She remembers the secret entrance though, and in the dark and dank finds her way out of the intestine area and back to a set of stairs that take her up to the genitals. The hook-stick is safe! Moral victory! (50 exp)
- The group regoup at the mushroom house and smoke some mushroom, swapping tales of the days before they entered this terrible place. (50 exp)
Total: 1200 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Hook-on-a-Stick Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Amputation bonus (Shiz Nittlebam - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom / Eleyn, Charles / Zan - 100 exp ea)
- Artapalooza bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Attacco D'Art bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (Shiz - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Kitty / Sophia - 100 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (Shiz - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Shiz and Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 850 exp + extensive bonuses
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Shiz Nittlebam, burnt to a crisp by a fireball-shooting ooze.


Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 36892 (Level up at 72000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +Saves! +1 free level 3 spell! +1 level 3 spell/day!
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 25238 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 15777 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 13419 (Level up at 18000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 12068 (Level up at 17600)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman: 11127 (Level up at 12000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +free level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day!
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +free level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day!
Anthony / Grunt, Level 2 Barbarian: 2264 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +Super Secret Barbarian Table!

Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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