Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Session 123 - Rains and Ratmen

Phew! For a session where it felt like not much happened, a lot of stuff sure did happen.

Guido is reunited with his sons.
POWERMAN fights a villainous woman in the pouring rain.
Jade and her fog demon battle ratmen on a mission to discover the source of the drug White Milk.
Mt Death Frost is approached yet again, albeit this time the party has a siege tower Sophia is an absolute monster of a Necromancer who can subjugate whole armies of the damned essentially at will.

And, of course, Jain Doe is back!

See you Thursday if you're coming to laser tag, else next week!

- Tom's "beautiful" rendition of Cranky Jim's unfortunate tattoo.

- Kyle baked us a GOD DAMN RUNE CAKE!!!​​

- Tom depicts the dramatic death of Dr Grijze

Session 123 - Rains and Ratmen

Campaign Date:
Market Day, 15 May, 1550
Moon Phase: New Moon
Zodiac: Taurus

New Backstory:
- Lorrick has a child! They're being looked after by his mother back at the quarry, and is emphatically not the baby that got its fingers eaten by Jade. (Next character can be your child, starts with half your exp)
- Lorrick was set upon by chalk-stealing bandits! He nearly died, but he raged against the dying of the light to fight for his son. (+1 to unconsciousness rolls)
- Jain was born under an omen of doom, sold to slavers during a famine so her kin could pay for food. (+1 HD of health for the rest of the session whenever a PC dies)
- Jain had a surprising turn of good luck... once. But no longer. Her spiteful murders of her brothers got her where she is today. (After you fail a roll, get +1 to your next roll)
- Svetnir's people were dying in the goblin ghetto when the twinned cities refused to give them food. He smuggled food in, giving a little more to those most in need. (people gain double HP from food you've given them).

Enemies Defeated:
- Several ratmen, forced to flee! (60 exp)- A Necromancer on a skeletal horse, robbed. (25 exp)
- 10 skeletons, subjugated (100 exp)
- 10 zombies, subjugated (100 exp)
- Another Necromancer, kicked off a cliff (75 exp)
- A bridge of skeletons, shattered (500 exp)
Total: 860 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A puppet bearing a marked resemblance to Puppet the librarian (400 exp)
- A pack of redeye cigarettes, allowing infravision when smoked. Pack of 20.
- 3 bottles of White Milk. 10 doses each. (3000 exp)
- 3gp, 43sp, 15cp. Looted from restaurant. (195 exp)
- A piece of cheese. Standard ration.
- Key #97
Total: 3595 exp

Exploration:- 24 miles of travel (80 exp)
- 1 random encounter (50 exp)
- "Persian" restaurant entered for the first time (100 exp)
Total: 230 exp


- The party meets up with Jain Doe for the first time in a long time! She's back in the city after some time up in the mountains with her business! (50 exp)
- Her first port of call - head to the Wild Inventoria and get her "Cliffhanger" grapnel gun made (50 exp)
- Jade, meanwhile, talks to Bolter Black and tells him she'll get to the bottom of the White Milk supply. She also discovers Wizzbang Will is Slim Jimmy's brother... and ths also Guido's son. (50 exp)
- She visits Wizzbang Will's smokey druggy high street drug shop, buys some Alterket, tells a disbelieving Will that she'll take him to his dad. (50 exp)
- He's not having any of it, so the party bodily carries him from the shop. Passers by express alarm! Everyone knows Will! (50 exp)
- Townsfolk intervene, then Lorrick begins casting a spell! People react like he's pulled a gun! A have-a-go hero tackles him to the ground... and all the magic is sucked out of the area for a few moments. (50 exp)
- Jade tries to talk her way out of it, but gives up and lets him go. They head to Slim Jimmy instead. (50 exp)
- The next day it's absolutely bucketing it down outside and the gang have found Slim Jimmy at O'Flannagan's Eirish Fuckhoel. They say his dad's on their ship. He kind of believes them. (50 exp)
- Suddenly! The door bursts open! It's Half-Seductress, a woman with one half seductive and the other half grungy! POWERMAN leaps into action and tackles her outside! (50 exp)
- A battle ensues, before Sophia aka POWERLADY walks out and lightning-blasts the villain away. She questions POWERMAN, who says this sort of thing has been happening a lot lately. He doesn't know why. (50 exp)
- Slim Jimmy follows the party, figuring they haven't lied to him yet. Also relates a story about that cursed bell crushing a family. They brave the rain down to the docks. (50 exp)
- Dear god! It's you! I spend an embarrassingly long time talking to myself via two characters with the same voice as the party stand there watching in the pouring rain. (50 exp)
- Guido's body collapses over running water, but his head's fine. The head is taken to Wizzbang Will where a similar reunion happens. Jade uses her elf abilities to weasel info from Will - the White Milk comes from a Persian restaurant. (50 exp)
- Party split! Jade heads to the restaurant, the others decide to take the siege tower to assault Mt Death Frost! (50 exp)
--- Team Jade
- Collecting her boyfriend, Bolter Black, and a couple of toughs, Jade tells him all. They head to the Persian restaurant together. (50 exp)
- It's got a couple dining in there, Persian decor, strangely robed people serving food behind a bar. Very exotic. (50 exp)
- Investigating a corridor, Jade is told "don't go back there!" in a strange accent by one of the serving girls. Jade throws Stabby the Dagger! The serving girl catches it in her robes, pulling them off herself as she does so... (50 exp)
- IT'S A RATMAN! The young couple look at each other aghast as the ratmen run off, abandoning their disguises. (50 exp)
- Jade pursues! She jumps over the counter as several ratman toughs pile out of the corridor. Bolter Black and the henchmen shake off their shock and fight them! (50 exp)
- Jade kicks open the kitchen door, finding a couple of rat-chefs in the kitchen! White milk and rat meat abound. Her fog demon billows around her, then strikes at the chefs! (50 exp)
- Leaving the demon to it, Jade grabs a knife then dodges back into the main room. A flash, and mirror images blossom around her. (50 exp)
- She shoots a ratman with her crossbow, and white milkiness bubbles out around the wound. (50 exp)
- One of Bolter's henchmen has their throat ripped out by rat teeth before the others flee. Bolter himself looks at the multiple Jades with tears in his eyes and stumbles out the front door. (50 exp)
- Jade leaves him, pursues the ratmen. She kicks down the door to the men's and finds them leaping out to attack.. but they hit the mirror images. Her fog demon returns, bloody chunks of rat-chef orbiting within. (50 exp)
- Jade casts Ray of Enfeeblement on a ratman, whose muscles wither before its very eyes. They attack, fail, then flee. (50 exp)
- Citizens burst in through the door in time to see Jade standing there, playing the victim. She tells them of the rats, and they search through the whole restaurant for a basement entrance. No such luck... yet... (50 exp)
--- Team Deathfrost
- Taking the siege tower, pulled by oxen and a re-animated Guido, the party heads to Mt Deathfrost. Surely this siege tower will overcome that dark fortress! (50 exp)
- Passing a dug-up graveyard, the party investigate. The graves are empty, but tracks lead over a rise. Sneaking over, it seems a Necromancer is gathering forces! (50 exp)
- Atop the siege tower, Sophia comes around the rise. In a voice like coffin lids closing, she commands the Dead to obey her! And obey her they do. (50 exp)
- The Necromancer, atop a skeletal horse, doesn't know what to do. They steal all his stuff and interrogate him - he's a scion of Corpulus Thrall and the password to Mt Deathfrost is "Ghostly Fear". (50 exp)
- The party take his horse too, and continue on to the Black Gate at the foot of Mt Deathfrost. They are challenged! Sophia claims to be Corpulus Thrall herself, and gives the password. (50 exp)
- Sceptically, they are let through. Albeit the siege tower must be taken around the gate since it won't fit otherwise. (50 exp)
- The mud-soaked path up the mountain is lined with unmoving skeletons. It is slow going. Cranky Jim peels off to travel via the forested slopes. (50 exp)
- Eventually, they reach a bridge formed of animated skeletons all holding onto each other. Getting the siege tower across is a dubious prospect. (50 exp)
- The bridgekeeper, another Necromancer of course, crosses from the bastion on the far side to question the party. Diplomacy fails, and the party attack! (50 exp)
- At the bridge, Grijze tries to inject the Necromancer with a sedative, but is thrown onto the skeleton bridge! Their skeletal arms grasp at him! (50 exp)
- Jain Doe's ice beam goes wide, so she charges another. Sophia takes another Last Breath and starts to subjugate the bridge. Lorrick begins casting Magic Missile. (50 exp)
- The bridge keeps holding onto Grijze, but Sophia begins Subjugation by converting three skeletons. (50 exp)
- Zan smacks the Necromancer with his mace, before Lorrick's magic missiles blast him right in the chest and down the cliff! (50 exp)
- As he falls, the bridge loses cohesion. Sophia's skeletons hang on, but the rest plummet... with Grijze. (50 exp)
- Jain tries to save him with a beam of plants! And misses. Svetnir tries to save him with the grapnel gun! But it fucks up due to dodgy human craftmanship and only the grapple head is fired, hitting Grijze on the way down. (50 exp)
- Grijze falls 60ft aka 20m aka 6 storeys onto broken rocky ground and under the wieght of countless bones. Everything in his body is pulped. He dies quickly. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Cranky Jim, going even slower since he's got to climb the wet rock and steep cliffs, sees a creepy child just standing there in the straggly forest. It opens its mouth begins sobbing incredibly loudly. (50 exp)
- An ominous wind blows through the trees, and Jim sees man-shapes drifting above the canopy... (50 exp)
Total: 2200 exp

- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Master of Diguise bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Mountaineer bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Jain Doe, Jade - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Nomnomnom bonus (Jain Doe - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Lorrick -100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Svetnir, Lorrick, Jain, Cranky Jim - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Jain Doe, Lorrick, Svetnir - 100 exp ea.)
- Famous Last Words bonus (James G's next character - 200 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All who witnessed Grijze's death - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 1350 exp + bonuses
- None yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Dr. Grijze van Held, fell 60ft onto jagged rocks and broke every single bone in his body


Exp Totals:
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 7 Cleric (Termaxian): 75594 (Level up at 112000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 60532 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 5 POWERFIGHTER: 20003 (Level up at 32000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 58769 (Level up at 70400)Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 42192 (Level up at 70400)
Tom / Jade, Level 4 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 23246 (Level up at 24000)Fraser / Svetnir, Level 4 Goblin: 13756 (Level up at 16000)Henry / Lorrick, Level 3 Magic-User: 8287 (Level up at 9000)James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 3 Specialist (Doctor): 4491 (Level up at 6000)*DECEASED*
Absent or Retired:
James / James' next character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Richard / Camrick, 
Level 4 Specialist (Cultist): 9229 (Level up at 12000)
Henry / Gorund, Level 5 Specialist: 21317 (Level up at 24000)

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, 
Level 7 Barbarian: 85493 (Level up at 128000)
Sascha / Deek, Level 1 Specialist (Jack-of-all-Trades): 480 (Level up at 1500)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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