Monday, 27 March 2017

Session 129 - Let's do the Timeloop Again

I've spent entirely too long on this gimmicky recap, but we're out of the time loop now and this conveniently coincides with me feeling more comfortable about the state of the game world!
It's been a long time coming, but dragons! For real! They were never found before, but the intervening 50 years has made at least one of them into a real and present force in the world. I'm interested to see what you guys make of them!

Here's some things that count as art attacks:

Inline images 1
- Kitty present an ACTUAL PRODUCT her company publishes which illustrates an actual vampire ratman!

Inline images 2
- Tom paints a very small statue of a man!

Dear diary Well mate it's been a weird one. First off I'm not even sure how I'm writing, cos I'm a friggin barbarian that can't even read, but then, I'm not even sure I'm the same person any more mate! Like, blimey, when I arrived I was gonna burn down that town, commit acts of arson and take people's stuff, but after a couple of loops of dying in that place me accents all funny and now all I want to do is sit on the beach and crack open a lager. I think there was something seriously weird in that town and I'm glad it's behind me mate. Anyway I'm with a few other blokes, can't remember all their names but they're pretty hardcore book nerds, we literally found a dragon and crikey they did was sit outside and read about it! It was a beaut of a dragon though, like a massive black croc from back home (why did I write that?! I come from the northern wastes!) and the others reckon some sort of rituals gonna wake it up or something. Frankly I'd mind me bizzo and get to the nearest barbie but maybe me pals are just as weird in the head as me. Anyway turns out there's dragons everywhere here, these tiny half men mentioned a Dragon temple or cult or something which sounds like a blast but I'm as dry as a dead dingo and hopefully we can get to a bar pretty fuckin soon mate. Insanity Mammoth Dunno what year mate, before neighbours started on TV
- Tom presents Insanity Mammoth's surprisingly antipodean take on events

Session 129 - Let's do the Timeloop Again

Loop ?

- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- Flaming Fury, Dwarven Academic
- Captain Book, Mad Pirate
- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric
- Elf, Elf
- Borrick, Dwarven Dentist

Enemies Defeated:
- Father Iwanopolous (5 exp)
Total: 5 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Hilariously, nothing.
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Entered the Elven catamaran (50 exp)
Total: 50 exp


- Returning to where we left off, we've got a split party.
--- Team Better-Than-Human
- Flaming Fury, Elf, and Borrick are talking to an Elf in the middle of a waterlogged stone circle. She invites the to talk. (50 exp)
- They accept, and get into her spider-ridden catamaran to chat. (50 exp)
- She loves spiders, and as they talk a real huge spider sneaks up behind them and bites them one by one! (50 exp)
- It's ok, it's a love poison. They love the spider more than anything. They love it so much. With the Elf in tow, they go to spread its spidery word. (50 exp)
--- Team Human
- Captain Book leaves Billy-Sue Samson's house under the pretense of having been to borrow books from her library, taking a book on the topic of Queen Satan. (50 exp)
- He meets up with the others at the church, and they head in to talk to Father Iwanopolous. Talks go badly, and Captain Book shanks Iwanopolous in the neck! (50 exp)
- Looting the church turns up a box of tithes containing 1000sp along with a few other bits and bobs. (50 exp)
- Knowing that the first to die is pulled back through the loop, Book's got a plan to save the treasure - intentional death! He puts all the valuable in William Fox-Shitt's hands, makes sure he's got everything, then slits his own throat. (50 exp)
- His lips shape the words "oh fuck" as he slumps to the floor, dead. (50 exp)
Total: 450 exp

Misc:- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (William Fox-Shitt, POWERLAD! - 100 exp ea.)- An Hero bonus (Captain Book - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Captain Book - 500 exp)
Total: 250 exp + bonuses
Death Toll and Injuries:
- Captain Book, slit own throat while looking into the eyes of the guy with all the treasure. Time loop reset.

Exp Totals:
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 659 (Level up at 2250)
- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 659 (Level up at 1750)
- Flaming Fury, Level 1 Dwarf: 311 (Level up at 2200)

- Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist (Pirate): 1011 (Level up at 1500)
- Elf, Level 1 Elf (Bibliognost): 311 (Level up at 3000)
- Borrick, Level 1 Dwarf: 311 (Level up at 2200)


Loop ?

- Captain (Proctor?) Book, Mad Pirate
- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- ZARAT, Ratman who fled a sinking ship
- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric
- Blue John, Soldier-Wizard
- Flaming Fury, Dwarven Academic
- Nix Neckbiter, Daughter of Barbarians

Enemies Defeated:
- Magda (50 exp)
Total: 50 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Several vials of holy water
- Wooden stakes
- Garlic
- Scratch-built stilts
Total: 0 exp

- Explored 2 Dunnsmouth houses (100 exp)
- Entered the Church (50 exp)
- Encountered Magda (50 exp)
- Discovered the Van Kaus Secret Shame (50 exp)
- Discovered the location of the Time Cube (100 exp)
Total: 350 exp

A party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. Captain Book steers them in. (50 exp)- A girl looms from the fog, holding a lantern high. She questions the party about what they're doing here... and seems very taken with POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- Her name is Zilla, and would be even prettier if she just had a few more teeth. She offers her spare skiff in exchange for a kiss. POWERLAD! steps up to the plate, winning the skiff. He takes some of the party (Team Skiff) out towards the church. (50 exp)
- Captain Book questions her about spiders while Flaming Fury and Nix Neckbiter decide to wade past the boathouse and explore overland. Three-way split! (50 exp)
--- Captain Book
- Zilla says she knows something about the spider, but won't tell anyone Book about it unless he's alone and follows him to where the spider lives. He accepts. (50 exp)
- They reach a stone cottage, inside is Magda the gypsy! She seems nice, and begins reading Captain Book's fortune when OH NO the spider attacks him from behind! (50 exp)
- His gambit to destroy it ends up with a critical fail. Oops. The spider slowly sinks its fangs into him... and he realises he loves the spider. He loves it so much, more than anything. (50 exp)
- Now that's out of the way, Magda is very willing to discuss goings-on in the town. Captain Book is licking the spider lovingly, but finds out the Time Cube is somewhere near the church! They head out, Magda in the lead.(50 exp)
--- Team Skiff
- The skiff-riders made up of POWERLAD, Blue John, ZARAT and William Fox-Shitt punt their skiff over to the church and squelch up to it. (50 exp)
- Inside is a much better looking and splendid Father Iwanopolous. He gives a sermon on Jesus' sacrifice and death by scaphism. (50 exp)
- Further discussions lead to some information on the secret shame of the Van Kaus out in the mountains somewhere. Old story, not much truly known. Apparently the townsfolk stopped them at some point. Symbol is two wiggly s-shapes. (50 exp)
- Team Skiff head out, although Blue John takes a minute while the Father is distracted to loot his stuff, grabbing some holy water, stakes, and garlic. (50 exp)
- They punt north, eventually coming across steps with the wiggly symbol on them, they travel up the ste[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
--- Team Scruff (aka Team Not As Good As Skiff)
- Flaming Fury and Nix Neckbiter speak to Nimrod Duncaster who is fishing from his stilt house, he seems nice but warns that people are a little racist around these parts. (50 exp)
- They are invited in for a frog pasty and meet his wife, Lilith. Fury asks if they've got some sticks he can use as stilts and hopefully pass for a human, and is told there's some dry wood in the attic (50 exp)
- There's a toddler with the face of a spider up there! It spits venom! Fury jumps off the ladder and runs! (50 exp)
- The parents restrain their spider-child while Nix wonders what a frog is. They both flee the house, Fury grabbing some logs for stilts as he does so. (50 exp)
--- Captain Book
- By this time, Captain Book has reached the location of the Time Cube with Magda. They approach and the days begin to spin past rapidly! (50 exp)
- He reads the writing on the cube and the words burn into his vision! He can no longer accurately tell the passage of time, but he can cast the spell Time Stop! (50 exp)
- He casts it on Magda and she freezes, then he stabs her over and over while she's frozen. As time reverts to normal her blood begins spraying all over the place. (50 exp) 
Total: 950 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations 
bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
Total: 400 exp

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Magda, sliced hundreds of times in the gaps between the seconds by someone she trusted, timeloop reset

Exp Totals:
- Blue John, Level 1 Magic-User: 598 (Level up at 2250)
- Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist (Pirate): 1261 (Level up at 1500)
- Flaming Fury, Level 1 Dwarf: 561 (Level up at 2200)
- Nix Neckbiter, Level 1 Barbarian: 250 (Level up at 2000)
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 909 (Level up at 2250)
- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 909 (Level up at 1750)
- ZARAT, Level 1 Ratman: 435 (Level up at 1500)


Loop ?

- Nix Neckbiter, Daughter of Barbarians
- Another
- Another

A smaller party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. A gypsy woman steers them in. (50 exp)
- She yells "YOU BASTARD! I WAS SO CLOSE!" and looks around frantically (50 exp)
A man looms from the fog, holding a lantern high. He questions the party about what they're doing here... and seems very posh (50 exp)- Nix Neckbiter dives from the skiff, swimming west, he comes upon a mansion and doesn't want to go in. (50 exp)
- Those remaining in Dunnsmouth head north towards the mountains, eventually the[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]


Session 129 - You spend ages waiting for a dragon...
Campaign Date:
Friday, 27 March, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:
- TOM Insanity Mammoth, a Barbarian Weaponsmith with an unintelligible accent
- ANDY Captain Book, a pirate with a time-displaced personality
- HENRY Blue John Goujon
- KITTY POWERLAD!, the actually entirely legitimate son of Sophia and POWERMAN.
- FRASER Nix Neckbiter, surprisingly female Barbarian
- JAMES William Fox-Shitt, a posh twat of a Cleric and glue afficianado
- WILL Flaming Fury, a Dwarven Academic with a questionable name

Enemies Defeated:- None
Total: 0 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 440 gold pieces, each inscribed with a wiggly symbol on one side and a dragon's head on the other (22 000 exp)
- Book #191 - "Ereshkigal, Singularity Dragon" (100 exp)
Total: 22100 exp

- First party to enter the Secret Shame of the Van Kaus (100 exp)
- First party to come into the presence of Ereshkigal, Singularity Dragon (1000 exp)
- 18 miles of travel (60 exp)
- 1 random encounter (20 exp)
Total: 1180 exp

- [[[]]]]]ps, eventually coming to a doorway halfway up the slope, built into the mountainside. (50 exp)
- It's blocked up, but the top of the arch is coffin-shaped and has a symbol carved into it- two wiggly symbols side by side inside a circle. Fraser clicks! it's the Mass rune. (50 exp)
- Behind them, down the slope, they see the fog clear around Dunnsmouth! A blue light thrums at the centre, the swamp and buildings suddenly change positions, and the fog rushes back in. (50 exp)
- It takes a while to clear the rubble blocking the doorway, and further time crafting a torch from whatever they can find lying around (50 exp)
- They enter, coming into a large underground chamber carved from the rock. There are eight short pillars with names carved on them, and a sound of deep slow breathing. As the breath draws in, everything becomes light and almost weightless. When it breathes out, everything becomes heavy. (50 exp)
- They move in further, and at the back of the chamber they see the scaly head of an enormous black dragon! (50 exp)
- On its face, instead of eyes, it has the Mass rune. Its neck is held into the wall by a ring of shiny black stone, and it's clearly asleep. (50 exp)
- No amount of disturbance seems to wake it. Even whanging it on the nose with a warhammer just makes it snort out a particularly large breath. (50 exp)
- The eight short pillars are graves! Each has a Van Kaus name carved upon it. Digging them up with the help of the gravity inversion, a whole lot of gold is dug up along with a book on this very dragon. (50 exp)
- Several hours are spent reading the book, and eventually the rest of the players bring their characters up the mountain too. (50 exp)
- An exploit for choosing your character is discovered - just go in and keep killing someone until you become the character you want! This is used, and it seems we're out of the time loop and back in action! (50 exp)
- After some time reading the book and discovering (a) that they can bind and awaken the dragon with 1000 years of ritual and (b) become worshippers of the dragon in exchange for it taking a percentage of exp earned, the new group sets off into the woods (50 exp)
- Strange and unfamiliar woods are these, but they run across a group of Halflings who are, strangely enough, fleeing the followers of a dragon! (50 exp)
- It's not the same dragon, they say, because this one is green. But one of their number is willing to show the party the way to this other dragon for the princely sum of two gold pieces. (50 exp)
- And with that, after over 3 years of running this campaign in England, the party has finally discovered the existence of a whole TWO dragons at once! Finally, the second word in DnD joins the game. (50 exp)
Total: 750 exp

Misc:- Bookworm Bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy Bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium 
Bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party Bonus (50 exp)Total: 200 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Henry - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser, Tom - 100 exp ea.)
- Quartermaster (James - 100 exp)
- Guard (Andy, Kitty - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer (Fraser, Henry, Andy - 100 exp ea.)
- Chronal Exp (Tom, Kitty. Fraser, James, Andy - variable)
- Accidental Art Attack bonus (Kitty - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- There's another dragon about?!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Nothing this time around!

Exp Totals:
- Andy / Captain Book, Level 3 Specialist (Pirate): 5023 (Level up at 6000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +Backstory!
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 4671 (Level up at 9000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 Level 2 spell! +1 level 2 spell/day! +Backstory!
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!

- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 4260 (Level up at 8000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!
- Henry/ Blue Jon Goujon, Level 2 Magic-User: 4260 (Level up at 4500)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
- Will / Flaming Fury, Level 2 Dwarf: 4023 (Level up at 4400)*DING!* +1d10 HP! +Dwarven Lorebond! +Backstory!
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 3 Barbarian: 4012 (Level up at 8000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!

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