Friday, 7 April 2017

Session 131 - Death and Axes

A dim light of civilisation amongst the darkness of the trees! Lovely. And apparently there's a real rats in the cellar problem, albeit all the party's found down there so far is a few mould people.
Plus it seems a few people have actually caught the disease and Insanity Mammoth's broken his collarbone... oh dear.

Also Comes the Godhead was cast for once! Wonderful stuff.

Charles has more remembrancer-doodles this week, and Tom delivers some epic Barbarian art.

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Charles doodles some key scenes

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- Tom draws the Godhead-Mammoth facing the mould horde!

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- And Tom also paints up his sick new Insanity Mammoth mini



Session 131 - Death and Axes
Campaign Date:
Friday, 5 April, 1660
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces


New Backstory:
- Nix Neckbiter's family took on an evil Rasputin-type wizard who sought the family's ruin from within. Nix tried to stop him, but nobody believed her. Her family would go on to die one by one, leading to Nix's adoption by the Barbarian tribe. (+1 to actions taken to salvage a situation that's just gone horribly wrong)
- ZARAT's broodmother was dying of a terrible illness! When standard rat-meds didn't work, ZARAT turned to what he thought were dark wizards but were actually dodgy snake-oil salesmen. (+1 Arcana)
- Captain Book and his crew were cold, bedraggled, and running low on supplies during a long voyage. To prevent mutiny, he was forced to share his private food supply. (When eating to heal, can grant your healing to someone else instead).
- Insanity Mammoth was in a religiously motivated blood-feud with his brother, also called Insanity Mammoth. They fought for thirty days over whether Termaxianism or Zeanism was the true way, ending with the Termaxian Insanity Mammoth being forced to leave his tribe. (One time only - it turns out someone in the scene is your estranged brother! "Wait, JOHN!?" kind of thing. Up to you whether you've forgiven each other by now.)
- Cecil Fulbright's breasts are as the result of a tragic backstory - Cecil is trans and tried to brew a sex change potion, but his luck ran out and it unfortunately only partially worked. Every time someone talks about his tits it's another twist of the knife. (After you fail a roll, +1 to your next roll)

Enemies Defeated:- 8 mould junkies (80 exp)
- 2 extra-mouldy mould men (100 exp)
Total: 180 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A stuffed toy penguin- A part-used pack of green waterproof matches
- A stone disk inscribed with a Make-Light glyph
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- 12 miles of travel (40 exp)
- 1 random encountered (20 exp)
- First party to visit the village of Spike (100 exp)
- First party to enter the Ratcellar (100 exp)
- Explored 5 dungeon areas (100 exp)
Total: 360 exp

Events:
- Looking back at the evil oak, the party see the corpses of the kid, the mother, and the Halfling guide tangled in its branches. POWERLAD! will harbour fond memories of the tree forevermore, but will be triggered if anyone badmouths it around him. (50 exp)
- This is a bit of an issue, since the Halfling was the one that knew the way the party was heading. ZARAT climbs a tree to get a lay of the land, but it turns out they're in a shallow valley so he can't see far. Insanity Mammoth, luckily, is pretty good at Bushcraft. (50 exp)
- Unfortunately, he misreads the signs and takes the party in a whole wrong direction! At least he's a good hunter, the party's got enough food for a while. (50 exp)
- The party continue... until they hear an angry man shout "HALT! Get down on the ground!". ZARAT tries to climb a tree and is stopped with a shout! Captain Book tries to crawl into the brush but stops when a warning arrow whangs into the tree nearby! (50 exp)
- It takes a good deal of explaining before the mystery man believes the party's not dangerous, he emerges in a long black Necromancer robe with a mysterious glyph on his facemask. (50 exp)
- After patting Insanity Mammoth down (momentarily confused by the "cudgel" in Mammoth's loincloth) he invites the party to join him for dinner. (50 exp)
- A skeleton, unfortunately non-Guido, emerges at his call. It's carrying all his stuff, including a tent! The party set up the camp, Nix claiming the only tent. (50 exp)
- The Necromancer, Gyx Nyxthillis, believes the party's 50 year man-out-of-time story and shows them such wonders as how to power runes. Runes are back! (50 exp)
- He also gives a brief rundown of the changes over the last fifty years. The Fated King is a Fated Queen now, the Dead are integrated with human society, widespread knowledge of runes led to a "Runeaissance", there's a dragon cult in the woods, and the mountains are basically just demon central these days. There's a fairytale about hubris entitles "The Barbarians Who Climbed Mt Death Frost" (50 exp)
- Personally, he's here to find and hunt down Mould people in the woods. He tries to avoid the Drakencult if at all possible, all he knows is that they congregate in the heart of the woods. (50 exp)
- Morning comes round and the party decamp. Thanking the first nice guy they've met so far profusely, he gives them a signed note corroborating their story and directions to Moondin. Just follow the wall north to the Gate and head east from there! (50 exp)
- ZARAT gives him a princely 5 gold as a thankyou. An overwhelmed Gyx gives the party a bunch of stuff in return - a stuffed toy penguin, a pack of green waterproof matches, and his Make-Light disk. The party move on! (50 exp)
- They head to the Wall, a big ol' wall in the fantasy tradition. Getting close makes people's teeth itch, and POWERLAD! has a bit of tingling in the ol' magic muscles. Nothing to worry about though! (50 exp)
- Coming up to a big protuberance from the wall, covered in a large flat spike, the party find a small village! Hurrah! The relief is palpable. The words "Admin Adventures!" spill from grateful lips. The only weird thing - the itchy-teeth feeling is strong near the spike. POWERLAD!'s magic feels off, and even Cecil feels like HyperJesus is somehow further away from him. (50 exp)
- Regardless, fun time to be had! The first building entered is, of course, the pub. The overpoweringly Australian-accented man behind the bar turns his nose up at the filth-encrusted party and their giant talking rat. (50 exp)
- Cecil finds out where the nearest river is and heads off to wash his clothes. ZARAT and Captain Book stay and chat to the bartender for a while. Insanity Mammoth leads the rest of the party to the town blacksmith, where he negotiates the use of the forge. Weapon crafting time! (50 exp)
- John Jentilman the bartender tells ZARAT a very important piece of information - he's got an ACTUAL rats-in-the-basement quest! The sort of quest the party's been dreaming of! Thrilled, he goes off to tell the others. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth and Sergei hit up the friendly neighbourhood horse seller. The horse seller is straight up Bojack Horseman except he's just wearing a horse head. He gives Insanity a price cut in exchange for hooking him up with a Notcoke dealer. Sergei obliges. (50 exp)
- Sergei basically trades cocaine for two horses. Bojack love dat shit. All three horses on offer have now been sold. (50 exp)
- Several hours later, the party's spending spree has ended for now with a bunch of extra kit. They're SO ready for the generic rats in the cellar quest! (50 exp)
- John Jentilman ushers them into his basement, a circular room with a bunch of kegs and wine bottles and a well in the centre. He tells them he's locking the door, but if they want out they just need to pull 15 times on the bellpull. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth goes first, stolen wine bottle in hand! At the bottom there are a couple of straw models of giant rats, a straw rat hat, and a straw cloak. Cecil nicks the cloak and hat. (50 exp)
- Three exits from this room, one behind a curtain. Stairs go upwards, so the party heads that way. (50 exp)
- There's some sort of track or drainage ditch running along the middle of the corridors up here. Theories abound, so Insanity Mammoth rams his longsword into a junction on the off chance it's a train or something. (50 exp)
- ZARAT engages rat mapping protocol, sending 4 rats to explore forward into the first room they find. One rat doesn't come back, but it's because the next room along is good by rat standards! (50 exp)
- The door is inspected. It's not much of a door, just bodged together barrel wood really. Voices are heard chatting within! (50 exp)
- ZARAT calls into the room, a curtain separates one side of the room from the other and a little girl pokes her head out. "IT'S A REALLY BIG RAT!!" she screams, terrified. "But kids love me!" complains a saddened ZARAT. (50 exp)
- A man's head pokes through, exclaiming similar! Insanity Mammoth strides forth, pulls back the curtains, and sees a room full of mould people! Worse, there are two extra mouldy people whose faces are completely covered over! (50 exp)
- Captain Book tries to find a second door into the room for backstab purposes, kicking open a likely looking door only to discover that it's a whole room of its own, full of dead mice. He shuts it in a hurry. (50 exp)
- Mammoth lays into the people around him with his new greataxe while Cecil comes up behind him and casts the mighty Comes the Godhead! Insanity Mammoth is infused with the spirit of HyperJesus! (50 exp)
- A halo spins into place over his head, his eyes glow with white fire, he's outlined in a glowing aura. Shit's legit. (50 exp)
- ZARAT and POWERLAD! prepare some crossbow bolts by dipping them in oil, preparing to burn the extra-mouldy guys. (50 exp)
- Maybe half the party is wearing Take-Light-Earth facemasks like the Necromancer was earlier. This will come in handy soon. (50 exp)
- The mouldmen charge in, combat gets chaotic. POWERLAD! and ZARAT fire their flaming crossbow bolts into the room, but the fire gets snuffed out in contact with the extra-mouldy people. Bummer. (50 exp)
- One of the extra-mould guys lets loose a burst of mould spores from within. POWERLAD! breathes it in and is suddenly whacked out on a maaassive trip where he zooms out and out and out from our world and out into the universe, sees HyperJesus fighting Queen Satan. Down for the count for now! (50 exp)
- The other extra-mould guy bursts spores out in the doorway. Captain Book and ZARAT are affected! Captain Book sees all possible timelines, all that lead to this place and all that lead into the future. He's tripping balls. (50 exp)
- ZARAT channels Charles and gets social paranoia, becoming really worried about whether other people are having a good time, whether he's doing this right, whether he fits in or is making things bad for anyone. He's down too. (50 exp)
- Luckily everyone else has a facemask! Insanity Mammoth is rocked by some solid hits from the mouldmen, he starts to go down but engages the RAGE and begins smashing faces! Nix also rages and is an absolute monster, hewing down people left and right. (50 exp)
- A mouldman gets a fucking brutal crit on Insanity Mammoth, cleaving straight down into his collarbone! Mammoth staggers backwards, axe still lodged in the wound, and laughs as his Cross Counter activates and the mouldman is torn to shreds by the spirit of HyperJesus! (50 exp)
- It's Axe O'Clock in Nixland, she draws and quarters someone on the spot with a massive double-double damage dual-wielded axe strike! (50 exp)
- Cecil bonks a mouldman on the head with a big stick. (50 exp)
- All this is too much for the mould people, who break down and beg for mercy! (50 exp)
- No prisoners! No mercy! The rest are slaughtered by the raging Barbarians as others break for the exit bell. Thankfully, the bartender was actually telling the truth and the party isn't locked into another dungeon! What a nice change of pace! (50 exp)
Total: 2150 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)- Next to Godliness bonus (50 exp)
Total: 950 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles - 100 exp)
- Caller (James - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Will - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Andy - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer (Charles, Fraser - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Disease acquired bonus (POWERLAD!, Captain Book, ZARAT - 100 exp ea.)
Near Death Experience bonus (Insanity Mammoth - 100 exp)
Rumours:
- I forgot to give you rumours! Next time, I promise!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Insanity Mammoth, broken collarbone along with permanent stat damage

Exp Totals:
- Andy / Captain Book, Level 4 Specialist (Pirate): 8627 (Level up at 12000)
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 8175 (Level up at 9000)
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 3 Barbarian: 7616 (Level up at 8000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 3 Cleric (Termaxian): 6866 (Level up at 7000)- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- Charles / ZARAT, Level 3 Ratman: 4739 (Level up at 6000)
- James / Sergei, Level 1 Specialist (Poisoner): 632 (Level up at 1500)

Absent or Retired:
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 3 Magic-User: 7132 (Level up at 9000)

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