Session 132 - The Diarrhoea Deception

Lots happens to our lucky group of drunkards! The rat cellar quest is completed, and newly minted character Rake is often naked and suffers a short and uncomfortable imprisonment.

-----------

Important Note:
Since the table situation at the Hatter is pretty out of control at the moment, we've moved! New venue is the Mug House at London Bridge, pretty sweet D&D venue!
All thanks to Tom who found it and has booked it out for months to come!

----------

- Tom allows us to gaze upon the visage of Rake Hacker

Rake flees, nude, atop Para and Lel.

- Andromeda takes aim at the burning rat-beast

Ollie renders: The mould-covered rat beast itself!!

A note on runes since they're back sooner than I anticipated -
You've got a pretty good grasp of runes and they're common knowledge in this day and age, so I figure I'd better make some of the mechanics better known and smooth out some of the inconsistencies which resulted from me just making shit up and forgetting precedent.

Rune Mechanics:

- Penalise AC and encumbrance based on complexity (ie. how many Minor Runes make up the finished glyph) and distance (ie. how far away from it you are).

- Powering a rune takes a whole round, like a spell. Declare you're charging it at the start of the round, it goes off at the end. Keep it running for as long as you want, you can turn it off instantly (so if someone's about to attack you, you can turn it off to get your AC back).

- It takes concentration - you can't cast a spell or another rune while you've got one powered. Taking damage breaks the connection.

- Multiple people can work together to power a single glyph. Penalties are shared between all.

- Beam runes fire a beam of Effect or a high-speed ball of Material. Material is anything affected by gravity, so it's magma balls not magma beams now.

- Another change for consistency's sake - the Repel rune simply repels the element specified. No more differentiation between material and effect elements. Shit got weird with that Decay rune versus the mummy. Flamethrower still possible - Use a Repel Fire glyph to blast the fire from a Make Fire glyph outwards!

I'm pretty sure that Fraser understands this stuff, but maybe others don't.

Types of Major Rune:

Make: Creates an orb of the element floating in front of rune.

Take: Absorbs the element into the rune, releases it all at once when shut off.

Repel: Throws the element away from the rune in a cone.

Beam: Blasts a beam of Effect (sustains) or high-speed blob of Material (doesn't) from the rune. Spend a round to Aim first to avoid maybe shooting your friends.

Change: Temporarily transforms the surface it's drawn on into the element. Returns to normal when shut off. Rune itself remains original material, if that matters.

Session 132 - The Diarrhoea Deception

Campaign Date:
Friday, 14 April, 1660
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

Infestation:
9 Days - POWERLAD!, ZARAT, Captain Book

New Characters:
- Rake Hacker - woodcutter, highwayman, and Fighter.
- Raaf van Held, a farmer turned warrior

New Backstory:
- Blue John lost half a sixpence in a raging flood. The other half was held by another soldier, proof of their bond. It was lost forever. (Any time something you own is lost or broken, automatically pass your next saving throw)

Enemies Defeated:- 6 mould people, the last of their kind (60 exp)
- A huge mouldy rat monster, shot through the head (250 exp)
- A Necromancer, strung up from branches (100 exp)
- Several zombies, shish-kebabed (30 exp)
Total: 180 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 21 sp (21 exp)

- Key #62

- Flask of liquor

- Vial of colourful dust creates spell-disrupting smoke

- Jerky of Lockpicking

- Crystal skull (3000 exp)

- Box of matches

- Axe

- Longsword

- Blunt silvered athame (100 exp)

- Brass bell (50 exp)

- Iron Ration x9

- Book #195: Necromancers. Special: Folio of Undead Creatures - 10 minutes of viewing allows you to identify common Dead and a 50% chance of identifying rarer "species". (100 exp)

- Para and Lel, horses loyal mostly to each other

- 2 wagons

- Book #193: Exploration of the New World (100 exp)

Total: 3371 exp

Exploration:
- 12 miles of travel (40 exp)
- 1 random encountered (20 exp)
Total: 60 exp

Events:

- We reconvene after the battle with the mould people. Insanity Mammoth's down for a while, so heads off to rest up for a few weeks. (50 exp)

- He walks past convenient new party member, Rake Hacker, and gives him the axe he has embedded in his shoulder. Rake joins the party! (50 exp)

- Mould absorption masks are created from rags and a Take-Earth-Light glyph, and several purchases are made. Chief among them - guns! Guns for all! The all-new flintlock mechanisms are high tech by our time-displaced heroes' standards. (50 exp)

- Cecil's got the straw cloak while Rake has a big straw rat mask. Nix has carved a Make-Light glyph on a ring to see by. They descend into the gloom. (50 exp)

- Rake, informed of the existence of a longsword in the chain-tracks by Insanity Mammoth, crawls into the dark to retrieve it. Unfortunately, mould people! Torches alight and anger over the murder of their friends and family in their hearts, they strike! (50 exp)

- Rake rapidly runs out of HP. They accidentally cut off Rake's clothes. Oops. In revenge, he unleashes his pistols and reveals he's purchased some Scattershot ammo! The shrapnel blast takes out two of the mould people, and he dives to escape as the corridor is engulfed by gunsmoke. (50 exp)

- Just in time, as it turns out. The rest of the party, hearing the ruckus, form a firing line and blasts hot lead into the darkness! The remaining mouldmen didn't stand much of a chance, falling under the sustained fire. (50 exp)

- One survives, barely. Weeping for his fallen comrades, he runs. Rake pursues and tackles him to the cold stone floor! He's possibly the last of the mould people slaughtered last session. (50 exp)

- He says as much, adding that the mould people were all banished down here when their symptoms started showing, and offers a scrap of mouldy skin to Rake as "dinner". Rake refuses, but Raaf takes it for possible future use. (50 exp)

- Hearing a rattling, the mould man startles. He says there's a huge rat, chained to the tracks. Insanity Mammoth was right! (50 exp)

- Rake knocks the mould man out, carries him back to the group, and is a bit put out when Blue John immediately spears his captive in the throat. (50 exp)

- Andromeda searches the bodies while Rake goes back upstairs to smash some rations. She finds a hip flask of liquor and Key #62, along with a number of ears. (50 exp)

- A plan is made! The corpses are piled up at a corner of the tracks, and lights are extinguished. The party listen with bated breath... (50 exp)

- A moment of fear as a normal rat scuttles past Rake's leg! He pulls his trousers up. (50 exp)

- And then... no chain jangling, but a soft thud. Like a thumping on stone. LIGHTS ON! The party is momentarily blinded, but as it clears they see the giant mould-covered white rat dragging a corpse off down the corridor! (50 exp)

- Pistols firing off down the corridor! They pierce its mouldy armour, but it can't scream. The group chase it down, grabbing a few coins that dropped out of the corpse's pockets on the way. (50 exp)

- Andromeda flies towards it with her SUPER SLEEP SLAP ATTAAACK. She misses, and the rat's too beefy to be Sleep'd. She lands, rolling on the other side... (50 exp)

- This thing's just got the sickest chain moves. The anime-style sleep slap seems to have given it super sweet chain-block skills. Nix and Rake are stymied by its flailing chains. (50 exp)

- Raaf gambits, throwing a pint of oil onto it. It's covered in oil! Cecil follows up for the combo fire attack, his torch hitting perfectly and bursting the beast into flame! (50 exp)

- The rat screams! Opening its mouth wide, a red raw hole in the mould is opened in its face! It screams silently! (50 exp)

- It turns, eyes and body aflame! It grabs and bites at Andromeda, who throws herself away from it on her back. Her twin pistols rise up and fire simultaneously! (50 exp)

- She headshots off the crit, shots blasting through its brain and out the other side. Fucking balla. Its silent scream turns loud at the last second as it detonates into a cloud of mould from the inside. (50 exp)

- Luckily everyone's got those Take-Earth-Light masks on. The spores are sucked into the glyphs, shrouding the party members with bubbles of normal air. (50 exp)

- The rat is dead. They claim the fat tail as proof, and head upstairs. Rat cellar problem complete! The party arrange the mould people to look like the big rat did it, honest. (50 exp)

- To the heroes, the spoils. John Jentilman promised a free night at his bar to the conquering heroes! It's a lock in. (50 exp)

- It goes for over a week. (50 exp)

- Eight days later, experience has been gained BUT... they've basically ruined the pub. Blue John pissed off the bartender by smashing bottles of his finest scotch after taking a single sip, making sure he saw. Nix loses ALL her stuff, except for a gold ring and clothes. Nobody knows where. Rake has been arrested?! (50 exp)

- Arrested indeed! And seriously! Taking the fall for the crime of ruining John Jentilman's pub, he's in a rolling cage in a Necromancer's contingent, travelling towards Moondin to be stretched on the rack for his crimes. Apparently Necromancers are law enforcement now?! (50 exp)

- The others in the group pursue on their previously bought horses! Onwards! (50 exp)

- Rattling down the road without his stuff, Rake chats with Gix Nyxthillis the Necromancer. Rake is unswervingly polite, and feigns diarrhoea as an excuse to get him to look away and makes lots of horrific noises. While the Necromancer looks away, Rake talks to the other prisoners. (50 exp)

- The other captives are ok, if a bit weird. One slings across some jerky, the other eventually agrees to be a distraction. She's a really lame distraction. (50 exp)

- Seeing as she's a crap diversion, Rake decides to actually let loose! After eight days of drinking, it's the after-grog-bog from hell. My game goes even further down the toilet. Ha ha. (50 exp)

- Using his bum-fountain as a second, way more horrific distraction, Rake somehow manages to pick the lock of his cell with the piece of jerky. My best explanation is dream-logic. He keeps the door closed and waits. (50 exp)

- He finally stops shitting. The rest of the party, gaining on the Necromancer's unit, ride past a horrific snail-trail of liquid poo. They're close! (50 exp)

- Nix and Andromeda on one horse gallop past the Necromancer's group! They scream that they're being chased by vagabonds who seek only to ravish them! (50 exp)

- Blue John and Cecil charge in on a second horse, riding into the zombie ranks which are already forming up! Skeleton archers fire, unfortunately hitting their horse Wild Rose and causing it to rear up. (50 exp)

- The Necromancer breathes in a vial of Last Breath and is about to command his Dead forces, but Andromeda rides alongside and puts him to sleep with a light Sleep Slap. (50 exp)

- Rake springs from his cage! He runs to the wagons, seeking his gear. (50 exp)

- Andromeda fires a pistol at the sleeping Necromancer, spooking his horse! It runs off into the forest. The wagon horses near Rake are completely chill. (50 exp)

- The zombies surrounding John and Cecil drag Wild Rose to the ground, where they begin to feast. The two riders somehow land ok, past the zombies. (50 exp)

- Cecil gets significantly scratched at by zombies! Rake stands on the backs of both wagon horses, and the dopey bastards begin trotting off. They don't give a shit. Rake seems to be leaving the scene entirely! (50 exp)

- Cecil is pretty fucked up and at least a little dazed, fortunately Rake turns the wagons and skids them to a halt within fleeing range. (50 exp)

- Andromeda follows the Necromancer's horse and bashes his head in. Ez kill. (50 exp)

- John gets into Rake's wagon easily, Cecil stumbles and trips. Shit. Archers fire at Cecil, the arrows arcing into the mud around him. He struggles on, and manages to get onboard pursued by zombies and arrows. They're away! The wagons are searched to find a bunch of cool shit. (50 exp)

- Andromeda searches the Necromancer, finding a bunch of cool shit including a crystal skull! Mercifully, not an alien skull and there isn't a Shia LeBoeuf in sight. (50 exp)

- The Necromancer's corpse is strung up due to Andromeda's ancestral hatred of the Dead. Her mum's friends died that way, donchaknow. (50 exp)

- The party's away! New party mascots, the unflappable horses Para and Lel, have been acquired. They're dopey and won't go out of each other's line of sight, but actually quite sweet and follow commands easily? (50 exp)

- The day is saved! And everyone's in the middle of the forest with some horses and wagons and official Necromancer merchandise. Nice. (50 exp)

Total: 2500 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)- Dramatic Chase bonus (50 exp)- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)- First Against the Wall bonus (50 exp)- Infamy bonus (50 exp)- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)- PETA bonus (50 exp)- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)- WWE bonus (50 exp)- Overkilled a scary enemy (100 exp)Total: 1300 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Will - 100 exp)
- Caller (James - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Tom - 100 exp)

- Quartermaster (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Guard (Henry - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer (Fraser - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Ollie - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom, Ollie - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Venuefinder bonus (Tom - 1000 exp)
- Lulu Exp Inheritance (Andromeda - 1482 exp)
- Carousing! (Exp bonus varies)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Rake, Cecil - 100 exp ea)

Rumours:

- The Drakenkult of Moondin has a powerful affinity for runes! They're more powerful than our mightiest rune mages!

- Dogs are the only creatures immune to the mold.

- So this witch called Baba Yaga used to keep the World Eater sealed, but she died. I don't know what the Dead did to seal it but it can't be a permanent fix.

- The wall's magic has fallen. Literally the only reason the demons aren't here is that they can't be bothered to climb a wall.

- Edge is fallen. Dwimmermount is fallen. The whole damn mountain area is fallen. But those in Dwarrow are still safe. Those superstitious fools in the Twinned Cities were right!

- Wearing iron will protect you from the Elves, their dark arts cannot penetrate the warding of such pure metal.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Against the odds, none!

Exp Totals:- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 4 Barbarian: 9770 (Level up at 16000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Levelup Table!- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 4 Cleric (Termaxian): 9020 (Level up at 14000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 2 Spell/day!
- Henry / Blue John Goujon, Level 3 Magic-User: 8746 (Level up at 9000)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3956 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 Level 1 Spell/day! +free spell!
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 2 Fighter: 3674 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit!

- James / Raaf Van Held, Level 2 Fighter: 2164 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit!

Absent or Retired:- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 8175 (Level up at 9000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- Charles / ZARAT, Level 3 Ratman: 4739 (Level up at 6000)
- James / Sergei, Level 1 Specialist (Poisoner): 632 (Level up at 1500)
- Andy / Captain Book, Level 4 Specialist (Pirate): 8627 (Level up at 12000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)