Friday, 12 January 2018

Session 163 - Honey Trap

And we're back! After many weeks of hopefully good/relaxing/fun christmas and new year, the party decides to go deeper into the mountains and eventually reach the demon-haunted slopes of Dwimmermount.

But on the way... someone's invited them to a party??

Session 163 - Honey Trap

Campaign Date:
Sunday, 13 December, 1600
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Ophiuchus

New Characters:
- Sir Robyn, a lawyer who discovered the magical powers of legalese. Is possibly a paralegal for the real lawyer - his raccoon familiar.
- Rambunctious Crumpet - a dung collector from Pembrooktonshire who's very good at being sneaky.

New Backstory:
- Randy turned himself in when an innocent man was being punished in his place. (May force randomly targeted attacks to target you)

Enemies Defeated:
- 4 bee-filled figures (400 exp)
Total: 400 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 167 doses of Blood Honey (8350 exp)
- A handcart
Total: 8250 exp

- Travelled 12 miles or so (40 exp)
- First party to enter Pembrooktonshire (200 exp)
- First party to enter Oshregaal's Place (200 exp)
Total: 240 exp

- In Cound, Nix is busy leading the overweight population in a series of exercise classes while POWERLAD recovers from his brush with death. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson soon reaches the town followed by new arrival Sir Robyn and, controversially, Andromeda Spiderbite. The Butcher of Moondin is here, assuming that all is well now that RISEN has allied with the Rebel Dead. POWERLAD keeps a lid on his emotions... mostly. (50 exp)

- It's a long lonely mountain road to Dwimmermount, so it's decided to stop off in Pembrooktonshire on the way and check the place out. (50 exp)
- After a couple of hours on the road, Andromeda's horse kicking up snow and rock, with the accusing eye of the black sun over Dwimmermount occasionally drifting into view, the party see a bunch of naked people. (50 exp)
- They're hiding behind rocks and bushes, looking the other way and waiting for a couple with a handcart to follow the road round an outcropping of rock. Occasionally a bee will fly out of one's mouth and into another's.  "I bet they're full of bees" says Sir Robyn. (50 exp)

- Andromeda decides to warn the couple and cuts across some boggy rubbly terrain to do so. Unfortunately they are terrified, possibly because they got a glimpse of her bundled up pet basilisk, and run up the scree to escape (50 exp)
- The rest of the party on the road the nude people stirring, confused, at all the noise. There is a flurry of activity as bees fly back and forth between their ears and mouths. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD calls out, and the naked bee people turn to look. The lead one speaks in a buzzing voice as he deflects questions and they cautiously approach the party. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Andromeda tries to persuade the couple that she's no threat, though they keep throwing rocks at her. The husband offers an invitation to a party at "Oshregaal's Mansion" in exchange for their safety and a bemused Andromeda accepts. (50 exp)
- Communication breaks down with the bee people due to a sneaky Nix failing to quietly climb the rocky outcrop to get behind them. Two enraged bee people scrabble up the slope to attack her, while the other two buzz confusedly. (50 exp)
- Andromeda, across the boggy patch of ground, fires her arquebus from horseback and practically deconstructs the lead bee person! The skin flops back, revealing swarming bees and rich red honey dripping from internal honeycomb! (50 exp)

- POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson open fire with crossbows and explosion beams, while Sir Robyn blasts one with Fairie Fire and tells him that it's actual fire! The bee man scream-buzzes, falling for it completely! (50 exp)
- The bee people move in, even standing next to them means you get stung by the swirling swarms. Sir Robyn's raccoon familiar casts Hold Portal at the "on fire" bee man, locking the bees in their honeycombs! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD snap-casts an explosion beam glyph at close range, blasting the encroaching bee person away. Galaxy Johnson screams as he's stung by bees. (50 exp)
- Randy fires an enlarge beam at Nix, who uses her enhanced size and strength to tear the one in front of her in half, then slam the halves back together to crush all the bees! (50 exp)
- Andromeda pulls her pet basilisk's head out from the bag and rides across the boggy ground into the battle! Bee-shaped stones clatter to the ground as she rides. "HIVE A NICE DAY!" she screams gleefully. (50 exp)

- The last bee thing bugs out and runs away as fast as his buzzing legs can carry him. The party lets it go.  Gorgonzola the Basilisk scampers about greedily sucking up petrified bees. (50 exp)
- Rich red honey drips treacle-slowly from the honeycomb. Galaxy Johnson can't resist, and licks up a big finger of the stuff. (50 exp)
- Ratimir shows up just in time to see Galaxy Johnson start tripping balls. His every motion is dreamlike, each dream a motion. Is this real? Is he real? Galaxy Johnson greets Ratimir, but discovers he just imagined doing that. Did he dream Ratimir? How to say? (50 exp)

- The Faerie Fire'd and Hold Portal'd bee person presents a problem. It still lives, but how to transport its undamaged honeycomb? A gruesome idea is presented - wrap its whole body in the skin of the two destroyed bee people. Nice. (50 exp)
- But how to transport a whole apparently human corpse? Especially one wrapped in the flensed skin of two other people? Sir Robyn comes up with a flimsy legal pretext to lay claim to the couple's handcart and the body is loaded on there, along with Galaxy Johnson who's still tripping out. (50 exp)
- The couple's meagre belongings are dumped in the mud at the side of the road. Andromeda leaves a gold coin on top as recompense. The husband shouts out a thank you and his wife cries a lot. They're alive! (50 exp)
- They head off towards Pembrooktonshire, especially now that they've got a ton of druggy honey. Galaxy Johnson strokes the soft elastic skin of the bee person under its blanket and dreams strange dreams. (50 exp)
- In the early afternoon, Pembrooktonshire is reached! Slightly before the mountain pass opens out onto the town proper, there is a smooth pillared entrance to a brightly lit cave with "OSHREGAAL'S PLACE!" in glowing flickering neon above. Hey, that's the party we're invited to! (50 exp)
- They keep going into Pembrooktonshire for now, looking for an inn. The affluent, extremely racist and xenophobic populace shy away from the unashamed Ratimir and the ashen grey Galaxy Johnson. Sir Robyn peels off early to look for a lawyer's office and avoid becoming associated with these out-of-towners. (50 exp)

- The Last Stop, a disreputable but nice enough inn on the edge of town is the only place which will serve "foreigners". Rumours are heard within. Galaxy Johnson hears some very exciting rumour about his blood honey being worth millions of gold and all the ladies want to bang him, but alas he is just sitting in a corner staring into space. (50 exp)
- Fresh fancy clothes are purchased by those who care, being Andromeda, POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson. Andromeda discovers that it's possible that she's married to POWERLAD in all adjacent realities, so she buys POWERLAD's clothes for him. Somewhere in distant Moondin, Bertha feels a chill. (50 exp)

- Galaxy's drugs are wearing off by now and he fills a bucket with the blood honey. Potentially useful in future? The party also overhears that games are on soon to choose a sacrifice for the dragon who lives in the mountains. Then he goes ahead and takes more honey. (50 exp)
- Oshregaal is enquired about. It seems he prefers to invite barbarians and other strange folk to his parties. Nobody is sure where his house came from, but it's there now. People from Pembrooktonshire rarely get an invite, very rude. (50 exp)
- Satisfied, the party head to Oshregaal's place. The cave is well lit with smooth walls. The front of a very art deco two storey mansion is built into the rock, most of the windows covered by curtains, and peacock noises come from a meandering garden path that leads into darkness. (50 exp)
- A dung collector from Pembrooktonshire has followed the party in, and he heads towards the peacock noises. Alas, he has no light source and decides not to investigate further. (50 exp)
- The rest go up to the double doors. The knocker is in the shape of a fat man's big belly, and technically proficient but uninspiring piano music can be heard through the door. (50 exp)
- A big two-headed man answers the door. One of the heads is drunk, the other very polite. They are wearing tails and both heads are wearing top hats. At the polite coughing of the sober head, the other holds a pale blue mask of a sleeping man over its face. (50 exp)
- Andromeda presents her invitation under a psuedonym and the party is invited within. Nix puts the purple demon mask over her face and tries to get in. The bouncer calls bullshit, Nix tries to headbutt him, and accidentally gets tangled up in the heads! It's a mess! The rest of the party awkwardly shuffle in as they untangle themselves. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson, getting used to the honey feeling, sneakily climbs up the wall and smashes into the uncovered window above! He rolls, revealing the hundreds of guns hidden in his coat, and shoots all the corrupt cops in the room while lots of girls swoon and yell "you're so cool Galaxy Johnson!" (50 exp)
- He blinks, and he's inside the waiting room with the rest of the party. Another butler takes everyones coats. He has just the one head with a similar blue mask, but he does have three arms which helps with carrying coats. (50 exp)
- The party is invited towards the main dining room. Inside is a grand dining table covered in a variety of delicious and decadent food. At the head of the table sits a grotesquely fat man, mask tipped up on top of his head to allow easy access to food. Barbarians sit around the table, vacantly smiling at the party as they walk in. (50 exp)

- Sir Robyn steps forward to announce the arrival of Andromeda Buffy Spiderbite and party. He looks confused for a moment, then grins widely and booms out a big "Welcome! Thank you for coming!". The Barbarians glance up at the name, recognition in their dim eyes. (50 exp)
- Oshregaal invites them all to eat and be merry! Galaxy Johnson and Sir Robyn reveal their party gift - a bucket of delicious red honey. They slather it over the food on the Barbarian's plates, who quickly begin to eat, and Oshregaal himself pulls out big handfuls of the honey and slops it all over himself crying "ooHHH delicious! Such flavours!" (50 exp)
- He sees Nix's demon mask and says he'd be very interested in receiving it as a gift, and Andromeda attempts a party trick by whipping the table cloth off the table. It fails. Food is everywhere. Chaos! (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn lofts his raccoon familiar into the air and throws it at Oshregaal! This is all too much amusement for him, and he laughs uproariously as the raccoon scampers over his flesh!
- It's late. It's a cliffhanger. I sure hope nothing strangely Christmasy happens. (50 exp)
Total: 2100 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Next to Godliness bonus (50 exp)
- Mountaineer bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Ollie, Timothy - 500 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 302sp. (Zena's Stake: 201sp, Carrie's Stake: 101sp)
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2034sp. (Nix's Stake: 1696sp. Bertha's Stake: 338sp)

- Edge is overrun with demons and Dwarrow is full of refugees. Looters risk damnation by searching through their fallen homes.
- AM&C own the land that every dungeon rests beneath. They charge people to enter, and take a hefty cut of anything claimed.
- Halflings are on the run, demons got them leaving their hovels and coming among us good folk. Kill every last one you see, finish the Lord's work.
- Those who make deals with the devils are reborn as devils. Looters in Edge seen them crawling from river muck all bloody and wailing.
- Three East Unorthodox priests came through last week with a lot of followers. Didn't try to spread their word, paid their bills in good coin. We let them be.
- There's a plan to take a whole load of virgins out into the Drudge Wastes, attract them demons right over. Let the worms and the goblins deal with the damned.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 75174 (Level up at 128000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)

--- Randy, Level 2 Hench-Dwarf: 3270 (Level up at 4400)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 66224 (Level up at 72000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 22018 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 22982 (Level up at 24000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
- James / Ratimir, Level 5 Ratman: 17596 (Level up at 24000)- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 2 Magic-User: 2046 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Tom / Rambunctious Crumpet, Level 2 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 1546 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
Absent or Retired:
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

No comments:

Post a Comment