Session 176 - Let the Race Begin!

Boat racing! Despite the various wifi woes, it went remarkably well!

Turns out I got the rules a bit wrong and your boats shouldn't have been quiiite so impossibly fast, put it down to beginner's luck. 

Slightly reworked boat rules below

And betting on the races is now fully available! Behold the following crAaAaAzy teams!

Some awesome art attacks this week too:

- Charles finishes off his two-part full colour proposal peace, due to time constraints it looks like he died here rather than being saved!

 

- Ollie shows us the TRUE CONSEQUENCES of dragonboat racing. Brutal.

- Plus Ollie gives us this awesome now-canonical rendition of flower demons!

Alright that's all cool as fuck. On with the show -

Session 176 - Let the Race Begin!

Campaign Date:

Tuesday, 5 March, 1601

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous

Zodiac: Aquarius

New Characters:
- Meric, a Cleric who worships Polaris the North Star due to his sailor upbringing. Unique Nonanist talisman grants bonus to AC in starlight.
- Raivo, an elderly but tough Barbarian from a far-off land who arrived here in a barrel.

New Backstory:
- Synthia's first memories, or at least the first memories that are truly her own, were being tumbled along the bottom of the black river Lethe. When she finally managed to drag herself onto land, her barely-human bubbling body of flesh and mud was spotted by a bunch of horrified people. They tried to kick her to death, but they were stopped by a kindly young woman who took pity on her. Nursed back to health, Synthia later ate her saviour and everyone in her village. (Enemies leave you to last when you go down)

Enemies Defeated:

- Many rival dragon boats, left in the dust. (100 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 60 gold pieces! (3000 exp)
- Sir Robyn made BANK betting on the race. Good job!

Total: 3000 exp

Exploration:

- First party to experience the Dragonboat Festival! (100 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Events:

- POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson wake up to discover a carnival atmosphere in Moondin. Today marks the beginning of the 35th annual dragon boat racing season! (50 exp)
- Along with others in the party who somehow escaped Moldus Vane's druggy dungeon off-screen, Carrie Meleste is back! She managed to miss the entire apocalypse so far which is really saying something. New faces Meric and Raivo turn up in the festivities. So far so good. (50 exp)
- Looking around, it does seem like there's a fair amount of confusion about this boat race. At least a few people clearly have the "1st" on their Annual Boat Race banners crossed out and replaced with "35th". People are loudly proclaiming that it's going to be better than the one they definitely had last year. (50 exp)

- Galaxy Johnson takes the opportunity to chat to his new spidery fiancee. It seems that Arach-Nacha has merged with Andromeda somehow? He's told not to question too deeply, but he can talk to Andromeda directly somehow if he wants... (50 exp)
- Arach-Nacha also drops the bomb of a potential answer to a massive campaign mystery. Fans of the POWERLAD erotic novels theorise that the author may be Galaxy Johnson himself!! (50 exp)
- He realises that nobody's actually asked Arach-Nacha about using her poison to kill Shub-NIggurath yet, and asks her to fly up into the air with him. He asks her if she'd consider helping them by biting the tentacles, and she agrees! (50 exp)

- Meanwhile, POWERLAD baptises Synthia into the cult of Ninhursag by drawing the Earth rune on her forehead. A new dragon cultist is born! (50 exp)
--- Off to the Races
- Now that the party's all together, they decide to check out what's going on with this boat race. The starting line is near RISEN HQ on the other side of town, so they head there. (50 exp)

- There are great crowds and a grand pavilion set up on crystal stilts over the magma moat. In the pavillion there are a bunch of masked demons, an androgynous shadowy figure, and Sylvia Flora the Plant Priestess looking rather out of place (50 exp)

- The party ignore all that for now, they've got a race to win!! (50 exp)
- They head over to the sign up desk near the pavilion and set up some racing teams! Most join Team POWERVESSEL which relies on POWERLAD's enhanced strength as its powerhouse, while Carrie practically goes it alone with her submissive minions in Team Sub-Mariner backed up by Ratimir and his rat horde. (50 exp)

- Sir Robyn swiftly puts all his money on Team POWERVESSEL's victory. Fingers crossed! (50 exp)
- They also see a bunch of other teams. There's a group from the Red Light Protectorate, a team from the Gogamogic drakencult who are in disarray because their leader Magnus Grossman has gone missing, and even a bunch of Goblins under their Hobgoblin mother. (50 exp)
- They get in their boats and wait for the starting bell! A two-headed demon descends on a long stone shelf from the pavilion and makes sure everyone knows the rules. "Uh yeeeaaaa we sure do" says all. (50 exp)
- Also very important - no magic! But other than that all bets are off. Rune magic is, of course, allowed. This is the dragon Ninhursag's lake after all. (50 exp)

- The two-headed demon puts out its four arms and, one by one, touches each racer's head. Anyone with spells in their head finds themselves vomiting them up in rainbow streams! Coalminer Dan is back and very confused as usual. (50 exp)
- A fat man in a blue mask and a massive mouth booms out the prize conditions from the pavilion. 10 gold each for the team that wins! A wish each if you win 7 days in a row! The losing team will be sacrificed! (50 exp)
- "Sacrifice?!" say the party, but they're in it now! (50 exp)
--- The Race Begins
- And they're off! Vuvuzelas create a deafening roar, and somehow there are always airhorns! It's straight into a terrible lava boil on this leg, but Team POWERVESSEL storms ahead with the Sub-Mariners a close second! (50 exp)

- Sir Robyn realises his raccoon familiars were not mind-wiped of magic. Score! He uses one of them to subtly slow down the other boats. (50 exp)
- The other vessels are swiftly left in the dust through a combination of strong rowing and a rules mixup. Nevertheless, onwards! (50 exp)
- The next leg is much more placid. Druggies from near the Biohazard Zone hold placards saying "send drugs!", Sir Robyn throws Blood Honey 4 U business cards. (50 exp)
- The next leg goes past the old arena and all of POWERLAD's fans! Ratimir finds the conditions too difficult and they fall behind. (50 exp)

- Powering through an angry sea of boiling magma, angry Denialists demonstrating, they come into the final stretch! (50 exp)
- Militia are keeping the cheering crowds back as Team POWERVESSEL come in for the win! Team Sub-Mariner comes in second, the rest of the boats limping in minutes later. (50 exp)

--- Victory!
- The winning team is brought up to the pavilion! Congratulations and back-patting all round, and of course the purse of sweet sweet gold coins each. (50 exp)
- Saddest of all is a group of dragon cultists who get in last. Such tragedy. It is time for the sacrifice. The losing team of drakencult is led up into the pavilion, and Team POWERVESSEL is raised up to the VIP room which overlooks the proceedings. (50 exp)
- The sacrifice is brutal and efficient. They are pushed to their knees, then their throats are slashed and their Last Breath collected in glass vials, before being neatly skinned and butchered into piles of skin, meat, and bone. (50 exp)

- The winners are in turns horrified and fascinated. It is over quickly. (50 exp)
- After the place is cleaned up, the winners return to the party. There's lots of exotic alcohol and canapes. POWERLAD goes to chat to Sylvia - she doesn't seem herself, and her eyes signal "help me" even as she tells him she's fine. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn goes to the two-headed demon. He's got a mask of gold and a mask that shimmers like mother of pearl, and his names are Japhet and Hirsch. Japhet does most of the talking. (50 exp)

- They chat about bookkeeping and Sir Robyn tries to get out the details of this 7 win Wish. "I think you'll find that all Wishes are in the service of some sin or other". Clear as mud. (50 exp)
- Synthia follows one of the demons when it leaves the pavilion, eventually reaching a tower that's clearly been set aside for its use. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD asks the locals about the demons and this totally annual boat race. Everyone is cagey, apparently the demons aren't allowed to meddle with anything outside the boat race but they are allowed to "deal with" anyone who says anything negative about the race. (50 exp)

- If it can be proven in a court of law that the demons have been meddling with the city outside of the boat race, they can be expelled. Also, who made this deal anyway? (50 exp)
- He hears the name Christina Breaker from a drunk villager. She's the leader of the Fracted Drakencult, and apparently was very vocally against this sudden demon boat race incursion. She can't leave the central island in case the demons kill her for speaking out against the race. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn slams a bunch of investment money into Blood Honey 4 U then goes to check on his spider babies. They're growing up fast and can barely fit in their little house thing. Some of them have eaten each other. One's staying in his room chatting to his friends "on the web". (50 exp)
- Also they're going through their rebellious teen phase. Their mum ran away and is getting remarried, their dad doesn't care they're his, their adoptive father is some magic loser who hangs out with raccoons who he insists on calling co-parents. What's an electric poison spider boy to do? (50 exp)
- With the session winding down, rumours are heard for the first time in a long time. News from the wider world is received with some trepidation. What does the future hold? (50 exp)

Total: 3300 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)

- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)

- Fame bonus (50 exp)

- Gambling Problem bonus (50 exp)

- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)

- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)

- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)

- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

- Pacifism bonus (500 exp) 

Total: 1000 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)

- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Carter / Meric - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Synthia - 100 exp)

- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Ollie - 100 exp ea.)- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Charles, Ollie - 100 exp)

- Artapalooza bonus (Charles, Ollie - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Andy, Timothy*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Hummous Hero bonus (Andy - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Andy - 500 exp ea,)

Active Businesses:

- Honey Healing. Safe. 1106sp. (Bertha)

- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1030sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn) 

Rumours:

- The minions of the Gravity Dragon are diametrically opposed to those who follow Ninhursag! Ninhursag is life, Ereshkigal is death!
- Fortress-City Fate is walking! It'll come to us and save us!
- The Fated Queen has been deposed from her throne! Fate is leaderless.
- The corpse-fog raises the dead. It flows from the Barrowmaze, imbuing old bones with hideous life!
- The music of the spheres can heal old wounds. Prostrate yourself before an angel and it shall grant ye mercy.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None!

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 7 Muscle Wizard: 88524 (Level up at 144000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 5 Elf (Alpdrucke): 42147 (Level up at 48000)
--- Old Man Henderson, Level 0 Octogenarian- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 5 Magic-User: 29306 (Level up at 36000)- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Termaxian Cleric: 27195 (Level up at 28000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- James / Ratimir, Level 5 Ratman: 23024 (Level up at 24000)    
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 19890 (Level up at 36000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp) 
- Carter / Meric, Level 1 Nonanist Cleric: 1038 (Level up at 1750)
- Elias / Raivo, Level 1 Barbarian: 938 (Level up at 2000)

Absent or Retired:

- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)

- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)

- Nix's Retainer

--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling

- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)

- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)