Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Session 40 - Death by Pegging

I don't know why everything's suddenly gone from scary near-death in the depths of the earth to dick jokes and shoving poles in bumholes, but it's happened.
That poor, poor monster.

Despite being egregiously underpowered in comparison to pretty much everything down in the depths-below-depths, everyone survived.
You should all be dead! Dead I say!
Also I have to make a mushroom suit table now after it turns out we have a mushroom expert among our ranks, gosh.

For the benefit of those who were not present - 
Everyone decided to keep going deeper into the earth despite being low level woobies. 
They found a bunch of people who wear mushrooms who say they're growing a new god, stuck a pole into the anus of a giant rock monster after the Muscle Wizard stopped it crushing everyone by punching it with Feather Fall, and stole mushroom suits from innocent locals to avoid getting chainsawed by crazy strimmer ants.
If it sounds like an insane drug-fueled trip... maybe it was!??! Now that would be an M Night Shyamalan level plot twist.

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For Clay - Is your name Clay or Caly?! Your email says Clay, but your Meetup name is Caly! Anyway, can you forward this email onto and/or give me the email of Sofia... or was it Sophia?

For Sofia - Your character is slowly turning from a human into a proper scary Elf. For now he looks almost normal, but over time (as you get more powerful and level up) he'll look scarier and get more powerful powers.
Eventually you will become this -
Hollowback Ylfen: Fair to look upon from the front but weirdly hollow and cow-tailed behind. The Ylfen pass briefly unnoticed among humans seeking articles of spae-craft hidden among the detritus of decaying civilisation. To them, all magical trinkets are their province, to be purloined and returned to the barrows where they reign in solitude.

For Kyle - You said your friend wants to know what's up with the rules!
There are a couple of things I need to change on the house rule doc (like adding an Arcana skill, and deleting the bit about bags because it's boring and never gets used) but it's mostly up to date.
If he wants a tl;dr version, just tell him it's "Old school D&D". Based on B/X if that means anything to him.

Also Kyle, you wanted to know if you could go into a frenzy when you smell blood and I totally forgot about it!
I should have mentioned - Elves, Dwarves, Fighters and Barbarians all get access to some special combat options. One of them is a Reckless attack where you get +2 to hit but -4 armour. You could say you're doing that when you fly into a blood-rage?

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Session 40 - Death by Pegging

Campaign date:
Saturday, July 245h 1549
Moon phase: Waxing Gibbous (Elves weakened)
Zodiac: Cancer

New Characters:
- Aurora, a Cleric of God (as in, the God) who spoke to her through a whale when she was out fishing. Crack shot with a fishing rod.
- Ceres, an Elf and former Alchemist who, along with half the party, somehow knew the language of the mushroom men. Staff is now a bit mucky after the rock monster incident.
- The Muscle Wizard from last session turns out to be named "Punchfist Van Hit" and also a woman.
- The Dwarf from last session turns out to be named "Balthizar the Name Unconfirmed Scottish Dwarf".

Enemies defeated:
- A fly agaric-wearing mushroom man, hooked into mouth of rock monster (25 exp)
- A huge rock monster, molested to death (750 exp)
- 3 sleeping goblins in mushroom suits (30 exp)
- 6 mushroom men, eaten by strimmer ants after their mushroom suits were stolen (150 exp)
- 3 strimmer ants, avoided by way of wearing stolen mushroom suits (30 exp)
Total: 985 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 50 red gems excreted by the cave creature (2500 exp)
- Weird blue egg-rock with black veins (1000 exp)
- Selection of small gems and trinkets (42 exp)
- Flask of strong liquor (10 exp)
- Various mushroom suits
- Big ant in a cooking pot
- 2 50' long tentacle ropes
- 12 buckets covered in some sort of meaty slop
Total: 3552 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the God Growth Caverns of the Mushroom Men. (200 exp)
- First party to begin ascending the stem spiral (300 exp)
- 9 dungeon rooms explored (180 exp)
- 1 group of randoms encounters (20 exp)
- Alternate exit found (200 exp)
Total: 900 exp

Misc:
- No deaths during the slide down the slippery slope (50 exp)
- Befriended the Fly Agaric man through judicious use of Remove Fear (50 exp)
- Found out that the mushroom men are trying to grow a god (50 exp)
- Heroic life-saving Feather Fall punch (50 exp)
- Did horrible things to the rock monster (50 exp)
- But, in hindsight, those were actually some solid tactics (50 exp)
- Beheld the huge stem shaft, including the floating globules of light, the mushroom men puffing around through the air up above, and the lava lamp-like glow far at the top. (50 exp)
- Stole mushroom costumes from innocently sleeping goblins (50 exp)
- Discovered the source of the strimmer ants (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Humiliated a Scary Enemy (100 exp)
- Selfless Charity bonus (Treasure sharers at beginning - 100 exp ea)
- Cartographer bonus (Fungonius - 100 exp)
Total: 900 exp + bonus

Quests and Rumours:
- The mushroom men are trying to make a new god.
- The mushroom men have no need for these strange silver disks people keep giving them for stuff, so they just kind of pile it up in random places.
- The mushroom men have an embargo on goods from the surface world and a whole heap of trade agreements with "people further down".
- Some of the mushroom men speak the local human language but others don't (?)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None, due to quick thinking and a lot of luck.

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Fungonius, Level 4 Cleric: 9045 (Level up at 14000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1621 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1721 (Level up at 2000)
Clay / Punchfist Van Hit, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1721(Level up at 2250)
Kyle / Balthizar the Name Unconfirmed Scottish Dwarf, Level 1 Dwarf: 1621 (Level up at 2200)
Sofia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 906 (Level up at 3000)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 1 Cleric: 906 (Level up at 1750)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:
Renzo / Mushroom Lover, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 21858 (Level up at 24000)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 13395 (Level up at 17600)
-- Mr Burg, Level 1 Fighter: 655 (Level up at 2000)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human
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