Session 48 - Survival tip: Throw rocks at monsters that are ignoring you

The expedition towards the dam continues, and many weird and wonderful giant and horrible beasts are seen.

But first off and most importantly - splitting the group.

I don't know how you guys want to do this, but with the constant stream of newbies and returning players things are most assuredly swamped.

I'm also saddened because Renzo has dropped out to help numbers despite being the longest running player.

So! Enter Josh.

He's got a few options available so I encourage people to email him about it. At the very least he can get some one-shots going.

Volunteers would be preferable, otherwise we'll have to dice for it or have a seniority-based pecking order or just have a first-in-best-dressed policy or something. That gets messy!

I'll put a soft limit of 6 players on the game for now. As in if (when) we get 7+ players we'll divide. Hopefully this will work!

For the faithful - several Clerics have decided on their gods' bonuses.

Titus' Crossbow God grants a +1 to hit with crossbows.

Leo's God of Darkness grants +1 to hit in the dark.

Tobias' Unspecified God makes your mace heat up for some reason.

Fungonius' Great Shroomy One grants ???

How do you claim a bonus? Simply worship their god and bear a holy symbol they've Blessed on a Sunday.

In game happenings -  Everything is awful! Everything is bad when you fall in the stream!

More badness in the flood crisis. Treasure and giant animals that don't belong in fantasy-england floating down from the shattered dam. Big stone turbine-faced golems lumbering through the slowly-moving floodwater. An enormous brown shell shuffling slowly through the mire, scarred with battle damage from enormous teeth.

It's all pretty fucked up and everything wants to eat you.

And of course, beings of pure terror stalk the waterways -

"It has returned: the most dangerous duck-billed platypus to ever walk the earth. The battle begins once more."

Session 48 - Survival tip: Throw rocks at monsters that are ignoring you

Campaign date:
Sunday, 7 September, 1549
Moon phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:

- Larry the Elf, Galumfy Dotard and Village Idiot. Armed with a sausage and jarate.

Enemies defeated:

- Ruskin Behaviour, shanked within his Wall of Fog (250 exp)

- Rem Koolhaüs, scared off into the air (250 exp)

- Smoke demon, fled from (0 exp)

- Octagon-headed turbine golem, fled from (0 exp)

- 3-metre pike, fled from (0 exp)

- Cow-sized killer platypus, baited into range of huge cuttlefish, albeit accidentally (250 exp)

- Several sheep, thrown to placate huge cuttlefish (0 exp)

- Huge cuttlefish, persuaded to let you leave the hillock alive (250 exp)

Total: 1000 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 10 vials of water from church altar.

- 10 circular wafers from church altar

- a large lens

- Gold-etched ceramic statuette, vaguely Egyptian (400 exp)

- Gold dust scraped from 2 corpse's mouths (100 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Exploration:

- Entered the washed-up Church (100 exp)

- Meddled with the affairs of wizards (100 exp)

- Beheld the fat fat toads feasting upon the dead until they burst (100 exp)

- Entered the copse of corpses (100 exp)

- Climbed the single remaining hill (100 exp)

- Reached the broken dam (100 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Events:

- One section of the party are given a skiff by Starry Hrad, told to prove that there is no gold upstream. Reward offered. (50 exp)

- Other section rides to the washed-up church, breaks and enters, loots. Huge, pale toads spotted. Peggy Pigrider shows up! (50 exp)

- Paddled upstream to check out wizards arguing on submerged bridge. Neither wizard wants help. Neither wizard notices the giant hungry pike circling under the water. Scepticism from party at whether they're really wizards kicks off actual wizard duel. (50 exp)

- One wizard flies, the other smokescreens. Davril Burtey sneaks into fog to shank smokescreen wizard. He is successful but unfortunately falls into water on the way back to be gobbled up by the giant pike. (50 exp)

- Other party members try to shoot down flying wizard. They are unsuccessful and he flies off. Svalborg accidentally drops his custom-made silenced multi-shot repeater crossbow into the water. (50 exp)

- Nobody sees Davril die, only a lot of blood ominously drifting out from the smoke cloud. What they do see is a pillar of smoke absorbing all the fog into its erupting form, spreading its immaterial wings and setting its weird negative-space eggs all a-quiver. It basically looks like this guy. The party quickly flees as the monster dives into the water. (50 exp)

- Further along, a large golem with an octagonal head and a turbine for a face is seen wading after a valuable-looking statuette. Party snatch statuette via child on a rope, evade golem. (50 exp)

- Corpse copse entered. Gold dust scraped from a dead man's mouth but it is decided that this is not the most lucrative means of getting treasure and is, of course, kinda yucky. A bedraggled Elf is pulled out of the water after a rock is thrown at a giant platypus for no reason. (50 exp)

- Platypus chases boat towards hillock, but is grabbed and eaten by tentacles from below. Everyone gets onto the hillock to escape whatever it is down there. Hillock contains many farm animals and a pack of wolves in an uneasy truce. (50 exp)

- Peggy Pigrider adopts a pig. (50 exp)

- Scroll-bearing scholar, Tzani Spillios, is Commanded to hand over his Speak with Animals scroll. It is cast (targeting cephalopods) and the tentacle monster turns out to be a huge cuttlefish. Cuttlefish is helpful, having a great time. It says it won't attack boats. (50 exp)

- Floating corpse of tattooed mystic found floating down the river. No sign of skiff or glowing mace. His mouth-gold is taken and his head removed. (50 exp)

- Party leaves, arrives at dam. A turbine golem is sticking its face into one of the slots at the base of the dam. It looks like it's praying. It keeps removing its head and sticking it back in. desperately. It is getting dark and so people wrap up for the night. (50 exp)

Total: 650 exp

Misc:

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Doolittle bonus (50 exp)

- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)

- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)

- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)

- PETA bonus (50 exp)

- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)

- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

- Vore bonus (50 exp)

Total: 450 exp

Quests and Rumours:

- Starry Hrad, mercenary leader, wants proof that there is no treasure upriver to stop gold-hunting scumbags from invading her bedraggled town. How she expects you to prove a negative is not stated.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Davril Burtey of Thujin Veil, shanked a wizard in a wall of fog but was thrown into the water. Devoured by a giant 3-metre pike after putting out its eye.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 13778 (Level up at 17600)
-- Mr Burg, Level 1 Fighter: 847 (Level up at 2000)

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 4 Cleric: 12826 (Level up at 14000)

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 3587 (Level up at 7000)

*DING!* +1D6 hp! +1 Level 1 spell/day!

Oli / Titus DeCosta, Level 2 Cleric: 2504 (Level up at 3500)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to saves! +1 goblin minion!

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Kyle / Dwain William Arthus Remus Froide, Level 2 Dwarf: 2204 (Level up at 4400)

*DING!* +1d12 HP!

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

-- Wit "Simon" Tamdoun, Level 0 Ragamuffin

Josh / Davril Burtey of Thujin Veil, Level 1 Magic-User: DeceasedJosh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Renzo / Jack "Danger" Wilbur, Level 1 Fighter: 239 (Level up at 2000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 1 Cleric: 1646 (Level up at 1750)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human