Session 50 - Chemical Heart

In this week's session, our brave heroes defeated a carpet, smashed a flower, and shanked some babes. Heroes, I tell you.

For all - SO MUCH EXP! Ringadingdingding. Level ups inbound, but unfortunately this doesn't happen until you get the loot to a safe place (ie. out of the dungeon). You'll level up as soon as you find a place to sleep soundly.

I'm was in two minds about whether Fungonius and the new characters from the end of the session should get exp despite not experiencing that fight etc, so I rolled a die to decide.

Result - everyone at the table will gets a share of exp even if their character didn't necessarily see it all due to death or arriving late or leaving early or whatever. Less book-keeping for me, and that means the people with new characters get an instant level up this time. Hurrah!

Also for all - New policy: If the session ends in a dungeon or otherwise dangerous place, and you aren't here next session, your survival is dependent on your fellows lugging your limp body out of there. Your life is in their hands.

Session 50 - Chemical Heart

Campaign date:
Tuesday, 9 September, 1549
Moon phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:

- John Doe the Unlucky, a Dwarven Leatherworker hunting his brother for his inheritance. Found his brother's corpse. Guilt level - Middling to low.

- Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, an absolute beast with her bare hands. Prior profession as yet unknown.

Enemies defeated:

- Small army of marble statues on a ledge, stopped attacking when their ledge was left (0 exp)

- A tapestry knitted with living bones, burnt with flaming oil (500 exp)

- Ten strange chemical women, hacked and whacked (250 exp)

Total: 750 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A fair amount of a light, white, heat-resistant ceramic.

- Three bales of silk, thin and blue as the evening sky (1500 exp)

- Three bales of silk, rough to the touch and the colour of a stormy sky (3750 exp)

- One bale of silk, incredibly tough and black like bruises (5000 exp)

- Six whisper-thin drifting pieces of cloth, embroidered with spiders and each stained with a turin shroud face. (300 exp)

- 10 heart-diamonds from the chemical ladies (5000 exp)

- 20 eyes like broken geodes (1000 exp)

Total: 16550 exp

Exploration:

- First party to descend into the Pit (500 exp)

- Explored 8 dungeon areas (160 exp)

Total: 660 exp

Events:

- Travelled across the drained lake, gave candy to surviving People of the Reeds, forded river. (50 exp)

- Descended into the sun-soaked pit, wedged main door open with crowbar (50 exp)

- Emerged into tiered room with statues. Tried to topple statue of ledge, fled when they came to life. (50 exp)

- Huge cavern, huge wheeled machine with huge chains going down into darkness, lowered down DWARF to check out what's at the bottom. Many rooms are open to this main shaft. (50 exp)

- There is no bottom. DWARF jumps from chain going down to chain going up, ties himself on, is eaten by some sort of enormous bat creature. (50 exp)

- Forced open copper door in floor - discovered a giant set of scales that can weigh anything, including abstract concepts (50 exp)

- Descended, discovered opening to main shaft, swung across to room full of crates of fireproof ceramic (50 exp)

- Went up ladder to room with strange angular plants in glass jars. Leo broke one, nearly killing himself in the chemical explosion, dropped sword. (50 exp)

- Went back down, oh shit instead of the way back there's a weird carving of a horrible smiling face with its hand reaching out (50 exp)

-Went down to room with cloth all over the floor, bales of silk, and a tapestry on the wall surrounded by bones. (50 exp)

- Titus attempted to Turn the tapestry, ensuring it could not approach him. Aurora lobbed her labradoodle into its "mouth" and others lit it on fire before everyone escaped upwards with whatever silk bales they could grab. Room is on fire. (50 exp)

- Fluttering tissue-thin silk shrouds floating on the heated air obtained via fishing. The big smiling face is gone now. (50 exp)

- Leo climbs up to get his sword back, is nearly crushed by a giant stone hand but is TOO STRONK and escapes back down. No sword though. (50 exp)

- Descended further through cloth room, reached room with white, spiky, chemical ladies lounging around and saying weird shit. (50 exp)

- Chemical ladies tell Titus DeCosta that he can find a ton of treasure if he makes a leap of faith into the void. Titus makes a leap of faith, falls, smashes his face on a bridge on the way down. The chemical ladies giggle. (50 exp)

- Vengeance is taken and combat ensues. Results: Jack "Danger" Wilbur is dead. Leo is unconscious from self-inflicted head wounds. Aurora is unconscious. A pyrrhic victory. (50 exp)

- To the victor, the spoils. The chemical ladies are stripped for valuables, specifically their black diamond hearts and eyes like broken geodes. The party's future survival is uncertain (50 exp)

Total: 850 exp

Misc:

- AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)

- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- What Could possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (Aurora, Leo - 100 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (500 exp to Oli's next character)
- Lonely Death bonus (500 exp to Kyle's next character)
- Noble Sacrifice bonus (1000 exp to Renzo's next character)

Total: 400 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- DWARF, lowered into the infinite blackness beneath the earth, eaten by a giant bat.

- Aurora's labradoodle, killed by a doom tapestry
- Titus DeCosta, persuaded to jump to his doom by a skinny chemical woman.
- Jack "Danger" Wilbur, lower body frozen and hardened into dark stone by attacks of skinny chemical women, shattered into pieces.
- Leo, unconscious with chemical burns all over.
- Aurora, unconscious but otherwise unharmed.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 16740 (Level up at 17600)
-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2328 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!*+1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble rolls!

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 5 Cleric: 15788 (Level up at 28000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to Saves! +1 Level 2 Spell per day! +1 Level 3 Spell per day!

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6649 (Level up at 7000)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 2 Cleric: 2625 (Level up at 3500)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 1 Spell per day!

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 2 Barbarian: 2962 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian table!

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 2962 (Level up at 4400)

*DING!* +1d10 HP!

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

*DING!* +???

Kyle / Dwain William Arthus Remus Froide, Level 2 Dwarf: 2704 (Level up at 4400) *Deceased*

Oli / Titus DeCosta, Level 2 Cleric: 3004 (Level up at 3500) *Deceased*

Renzo / Jack "Danger" Wilbur, Level 1 Fighter: 739 (Level up at 2000) *Deceased*

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human