Tuesday 16 August 2016

Session 101 - The First Five Lives of Rat LeBlanc

Many rat deaths last week. Poor old Ratt LeBlanc and his multiple pregnancies.
This week we have an exceptional pokemon/dnd mashup for Tom's art attack. Gotta kill 'em all!

Important -
This week (aka today) DnD will be on as normal, but next week (Tuesday 23rd) I'm off up norf to stay in a cottage with my girlfriend's family which should be a laugh.
We'll be back 30th August.

See you tonight!


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Session 101 - The First Five Lives of Rat LeBlanc

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 21 January, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Tomas' Wizard, a wizard who was fittingly once a librarian.

Enemies Defeated:
- Gold-skinned man, kicked into acid (250 exp)
- 3 gold baby men, killed (75 exp)
- Harpy witch lady, headshot (100 exp)
- 2 orange oil blobs (50 exp)
Total: 475 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Virgin Sword
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- 4 more dungeon areas explored (80 exp)
- 1 group of wandering monsters encountered (50 exp)
Total: 130 exp

New Backstory:- Jain, incredibly, was the one who masterminded the deaths of all her brothers. What a twist! She ensured that they suffered. (Once per session, someone you torture must answer a question truthfully)
- Jumurak was a Man of the Rooves, part of the resistance against a tyrannical governor. His bungee-based governor kidnapping plan saved the town. (Once per session, find a defector in the room)
- Zan went around preaching after the flagellant dance party until everything went to shit and the cops showed up. (Once per session, cause everything to go to shit in an unexpected way)
- Elleyn's mother sent Elleyn on her first assassination mission, leading to her life as a gypsy assassin. (+1 Sneak Attack)
- Sophia married for love... and her love is Powerman! They are wed in the mushroom house, presided over by Zan, and with Jumurak and Jain as best man and maid of honour. Even in the immense stone fallopian tube of an enormous stone woman, love can blossom. (+1 Wisdom)

Events:

- Powerman and Powerlady get married in the mushroom house following their whirlwind romance. Tragic opposing polarity mishap post-"you may kiss the bride" results in superficial damage to makeshift church. (50 exp)
- With the newlyweds in tow, the group head down to the acid lake for a second time. Rat LeBlanc and Elleyn cross quietly via the ceiling and ropes. (50 exp)
- On the other side, some guy groaning and clutching at his chest. Elleyn points a gun at his head... a golden-skinned copy tears its way out of his skin! (50 exp)
- Elleyn acts quickly, rolling with it and kicking it off into the acid where it boils away. Clutch. (50 exp)
Some nearby gold babies look over in consternation, and suddenly everything goes to shit. The harpy lady shows up holding up a ball of light along with a bunch more gold babies, and the rest of the group on the other side of the lake quickly try to get across! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc CHARGES INTO BATTLE! His rat swarm eat the fuck out of a bunch of babies, so he follows up with his nail bat! And fumbles. And crits himself. And nearly dies. Shit's looking dire. (50 exp)
- Oh but wait! Elleyn blows a hole in the harpy's head from a distance and drops her instantly. The gold baby men follow soon after as the others arrive. (50 exp)
- Elleyn nabs the harpy witch's sword, which whispers into her head about bathing it in the blood of virgins. (50 exp)
- A very realistic statue of the harpy lady is investigated and - oh no! - releases a cloud of poison needles when disturbed! Most are too far away and Elleyn is too swift to be hit, but Rat LeBlanc is riddled with countless needles and is slain. (50 exp)- Rat LeBlanc is reborn covered in suppurating green lesions, forcing his way out of the rose-smelling flesh sac and into a room that smells of rotting flesh. He rejoins the group. (50 exp)
- Ignoring the stairs down for now, the group heads round the corner to see where the witch came from. Ahead, a pool of the pus-filled water. (50 exp)
- Guido turns out to be immune to the pus, being dead and all. He carries the group across a few at a time. (50 exp)
- Further in is a room filled with warm oil. Inspection reveals some orange blobs on the ceiling. The blobs are killed, but the ensuing explosion barbeques Rat LeBlanc. Ouch. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc struggles out and dies in agony as a swarm of rats explode from his stomach. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc barely has time to notice his snout's new length before he ruptures partway out of the sac, spewing a swarm of rats from his intestines. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc struggles a slightly longer way out and collapses as rats burst from his stomach... but he survives. He is now 2 foot shorter. (50 exp)
- The rest of the group meet up with him and help him limp to the mushroom house. His nightmare is over. For now. (50 exp)Total: 800 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Elleyn - 100 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Horrifying Realisation bonus (Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp)
- Inspiring Speech bonus (Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Jumurak, Jain, Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (500 exp - Rat LeBlanc)
- Death's Witness bonus (All, including Rat LeBlanc who witnessed his own - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 650 exp + extensive bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here


Death Toll and Injuries:
- Rat LeBlanc, poison
- Rat LeBlanc, explosion
- Rat LeBlanc, died in childbirth
- Rat LeBlanc, died in childbirth

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 33809 (Level up at 36000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 22155 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 12494 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +saves!

Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 10336 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman: 8144 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Maximum rats - 16!
Tomas / Tomas' Wizard, Level 1 Magic User: 394 (Level up at 2250)


Absent or Retired:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 9085 (Level up at 17600)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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