Session 107 - Ding-Dong!

The witch is dead! And nobody died! It's a miracle!

Important Note
Once again, the Mad Hatter has been STOLEN from us by a ninja group of non-dnd room bookers.
After an unsuccessful attempt to book a room elsewhere, Andy has rescued us for a second time from the hellish fate of having to skip DnD next week. Get in contact if you want to come to his place, since he'll need to know numbers.

Guido searches for treasure, by Charles

332, by Tom

Lose Youself (feat. Zan)

Yo
His claws are sweaty,
Knees weak, Ovipositor heavy,
Theres pus on his sweater already,
Goblin spaghetti,
he's nervous, But stabbington is calm and ready
To drop jobs
He opens his mouth, job offer comes out ...
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime!
Lose yourself in the tomb busters,
Clean the sewers, you own it
You better never mess it up
You only get one shot,
do not miss your chance to JOIN ....
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime !



Session 107 - Ding-Dong!
Campaign Date:

Thursday, 19 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Aquarius

New Characters:- Gorund, a Specialist and former fruit farmer.

Enemies Defeated:

- 4 huge sausage-mouth goblins, killed or surrendered (200 exp)
- 15 black-eyed goblins, killed or surrendered (375 exp)
- Huge sausage-mouth Hobgoblin, 336 damage (100 exp)
- The Harpy Bitch, blasted into pus and dissolved (100 exp)
Total: 775 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- 71 gp in small cauldron of slime putty (3550 exp)
- A shielding necklace adorned with ten gems, three still glow.
- 5000 sp in piles, stuffed into santa sack with anti-grav runes (5000 exp)
- 12" black opal olisbos (1200 sp)
Total: 9750 exp

Exploration:- Explored 4 heretofore unexplored areas (80 exp)
- 2 wandering monsters rolled (100 exp)
Total: 180 exp
New Backstory:- Tomb Busters was caught in a tax collector dawn raid! Oh shit! Luckily Stabbington's shady contacts tipped him off just in time and he managed to shred the most damning documents. (+2 to Search in pitch blackness)
- Lulu gave her lover Tiberius one last kiss before he left forever. As we all know, when she followed him south she reached him just in time to see him fall into the darkness beneath the earth. (When you kiss a willing person for the first time, gain +1HP/HD for the rest of the session)
Events:
- We zoom into the dramatic battle! Lulu barges in on the secret door side while Stabbington and new guy Gorund turn up on the opposite side the pus water! (50 exp)
- Lulu magic-ropes her way onto the scaffolding as various weapons are brought to bear on the harpy. Gorund wings her with a sling stone while Rat LeBlanc fires crossbow bolts from above, but the attacks seem strangely turned aside. (50 exp)
- The Harpy exhorts her followers to attack the interlopers, causing one of them to kick Gorund into the pus! Oh no! The other charges at Zan. (50 exp)
- The mirror image spell ends and Lulu takes the opportunity to swing across the room and pin her wings! Simultaneously, Stabbington stabs his sword into the stomach of the Harpy! (50 exp)
- Unfortunately the Harpy's writhings are too much for Lulu and knocks her into the pus water. Lulu plunges, spins, and manages to push off the pus blob that's trying to get her! She leaps into the air and goes to grab the Harpy again when... (50 exp)
- The Harpy is replaced by a sudden torrent of goblin ghosts! Sophia's ectenic blast punches in from above and slams the harpy down into the pus water! (50 exp)
- Lulu follows the body down, plunging into the water and diving through grasping fronds of white goop. She finds the already partially digested body and rips the witch's necklace from around her throat. She gracefully emerges from the water upon a column of ooze like the Birth of Aphrodite. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, one of the sausage-goblins is splatted and the other attempts to surrender. Gorund, spitting up gross water and white slime, coughs and splutters as Zan calmly heals himself right next to him. (50 exp)
- Stabbington accepts Krong the Sausage Goblin's surrender in exchange for fealty to Tomb Busters. Zan lays down some sick rhymes - Lose Yourself (feat. Zan) - and the goblin accepts. (50 exp)
- While this is going on, Cranky Jim climbs the scaffolding towards the unexplored shore and sees the floor down there writhing, and Rat LeBlanc explores and finds a pot of gold coins suspended in slimy fart putty. (50 exp)
- Avoiding the floor, Eleyn spidercrawls along the ceiling and, seeing a square altar, lands on it. Luckily she avoids landing on the object that is on the altar... (50 exp)
- There's a bit of give when she lands too, and paralysing gas covers the nearby area. Oh no! That's fine though, after a few minutes everyone else has entered the chamber and the gas disperses. She's fine. (50 exp)
- Turns out the writhing floor is a carpet of slimy flatworms and rough coral stuff that you'll twist your ankle on if you're not careful. Luckily the witch is dead, so no big. (50 exp)
- The object on the altar is a large polished opal olisbos, slightly slick with clear fluids. (50 exp)
- "Haha how long is it?" (50 exp)
- "Errrr roll 2d6 for inches." (50 exp)
-  12. It's 12 inches long. Eleyn grabs it and insists on continuing to call it an Olisbos. (50 exp)
- Also there's a heap of silver coins scattered around. With anti-grav runes drawn on the santa sack, they're all scooped up. (50 exp)
- Also in the room, a collapsed section of wall. Green fluid that smells like apple flavoured sweets drips from cracks. Marilyn Monrat, one of Rat LeBlanc's few remaining minions, is fed a bit. She takes on an appearance like blown glass. (50 exp)
- Gorund and Eleyn drink some too and become glass people. Sick! Others collect some, but decide to see what's going to happen to these guys first. (50 exp)
- Guido is sent to trawl the pus water for treasure. He remains there for the rest of the session but is unsuccessful. (50 exp)
- The main party head to the mushroom house to deposit their treasure, while Eleyn and Gorund use their glass stealth to explore. (50 exp)
- Main Party find a room of night-eyed goblins getting ready for a raid! They're friendly enough, but when one of them insists on looking inside santa's sack Lulu breaks his fucking arm. (50 exp)
- The Glass Party stumble across a sausage goblin and a night-eye goblin attempting some sort of strange sexual manoeuvre. After interrupting and sneaking around and pretending to be god and stuff, they leave them to it. (50 exp)
- The Main Party slaughter every last one of the little goblins and go on their merry way. ;_; (50 exp)
- Glass Party find a room where a huge goblin with an extra long ovipositor tongue is talking to a bunch of other goblins. Clearly this is the Hobgoblin. Eleyn stealth-climbs over the guy, grabs Stabby the Dagger, and drops. (50 exp)
- Eleyn rolls the 1d30 for damage. Sneak attack is x6 and it turns out Stabby doubles that again. 336 damage in one hit. Holy shiiiiiit! (50 exp)
- The other goblins are suddenly covered in goblin sap and viscera, the glassy Eleyn suddenly outlined as a horrible monster covered in greeny grey goop. They run in fear. (50 exp)

Total: 1400 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)- OHKO'd the ovipositor daddy (100 exp)
- Overkilled the ovipositor daddy (100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Zan, Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Stabbington, Lulu - 100 exp ea.)- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Sophia, Rat LeBlanc, Jumurak - 100 exp ea.)
- Sick Rhymez bonus (Zan - 100 exp)

Total: 900 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None! Wow!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 62509 (Level up at 64000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 44173 (Level up at 72000)Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 42970 (Level up at 64000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 32229 (Level up at 56000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 23858 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 20200 (Level up at 36000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 19949 (Level up at 35200)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 18108 (Level up at 24000)
Henry / Gorund, Level 1 Specialist: 1440 (Level up at 1500)
Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36581 (Level up at 70400)
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human