Tuesday 8 November 2016

Session 112 - Every Parent We Reach is Dead

While I imagine the corn field was meant to be a terrible struggle to escape, the party is too clever. Now they are once again trapped... in a forcefield! Behind a maze! Is the trapped-in-a-location thing overdone? Probably!

Tuesday 15th November is the last time we're in the Mad Hatter this year, due to Christmas parties. Alternative arrangements will be made!

Late recap due to a holiday in Germany, so see you lot tonight.

"Dear diary,
Mamma mia! Once again, a womanly saviour rescued me from the clutches of the tentacles. She is rather big and hairy though - un poco more portly than a Venetian courtesan!
Calamari for dinner, in rather quaint tumble down cottage.
Spoke to il padre. He is still disappointed with my career choice, but I will prevail!
Dear diary,
I did not almost die today - fantastico! We are in the grounds of a beautiful palazzo, though far less grand than the casa Medici in my beloved Firenze. My new friends are skilled blacksmiths too apparently - not since Leonardo was such a talented group of people formed!
Just rations today, that taste like iron. I am still getting used to this English cuisine..." - Excerpt from Ludovico's diary

"I used to curse my father that, as the youngest child, I was sent to be formally educated rather than dedicate my formative years as a child to the camp and tundra. However, now I take comfort in the words I write and I appreciate, and even rejoice in, the fact that I can express myself in ways other than through bloodshed and drink. The time down here amongst the uncivilised dregs of the land, amongst Gorga slaves in waiting, has undoubtedly made me a better and formidable warrior. However, I worry that it has weakened my spirit, like the fires of a forge softens the steel of even the truest blade. Only yesterday I found myself saving a pathetic and unworthy companion of the death he deserved... A few months ago I would have let him die and perhaps even have tracked down and then castrated his father so that he could no longer sire such fragile monstrosities. Perhaps the great goddess of the Eternal Night has plans for him which not even a princess of the North can see..."
- Excerpt from Lulu's diary




- Zan escapes across the rye, by Ollie​



Session 112 - Every Parent We Reach is Dead


Campaign Date:
Market Day, 19 March, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Pisces

Enemies Defeated:
- The Ryefield, escaped (500 exp)
- A bunch of living flame people, locked into their furnace (375 exp)
Total: 875 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Meteoric iron knuckledusters, forged in living flame
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Escaped spooooky cornfield! (100 exp)
- Travelled 24 miles (80 exp)
- First party to enter the Cursed Chateau (100 exp)
Total: 280 exp
New Backstory:- Lulu, trapped in the cave with Stabbington, was beset by bears! Her seductive plan did not go to plan at all! Of course, she killed more bears with her bare hands, but the mood was ruined. (+2 to AC and saves for ten minutes when a plan goes awry)
- Gorund trained under a master bard who was very fond of him. When Gorund left, his master gave him his lute. Used it to "bang for roof and food". (Once per session, cause someone who trusts you to pass all morale and fear checks for ten minutes)
- Sophia, as we know, tragically lost her family when she accidentally dropped a church bell on them. When the bell was finally moved... it became apparent that they hadn't died in the initial impact and had starved to death beneath it. They didn't tell her, to protect her from the truth. (When you roll the worst possible failure on a roll, nearby PCs gain +1 AC for a round)
Events:
- With many trapped inside the field, plans are enacted to escape! (50 exp)
- Lulu creates some stilts, Ludovico on her back, runs into field. They collapse! Ludovico falls! (50 exp)
- Zan also creates stilts but casts #hyperblessed on himself. The stilts collapse... in such a way that they bind tighter! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim climbs down the well and checks out what's down there... basically the creature's head or something is down there. Creeped out, he climbs back up. (50 exp)
- Jumurak rides across in his amoeba fortress! (50 exp)
- Guido carries many people! They all help to resist tentacle attacks! (50 exp)
- Mortis the skeleton horse is ridden across! Onwards, Morris! (50 exp)
- Ludovico attempts to cast a spell but a tentacle disrupts him! The tentacle erupts in chanting mouths. She saves him and fireman-lifts him across the field. (50 exp)
- On the way he casts Speak With Dad, his crow flies down to become a telephone, and his dad informs him that he should visit sometime his mother misses him. (50 exp)
- Fighting through the surging tentacles, the party makes it to the other side! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Gorund meets them at the other side. We established in the meantime that his family home was nearby! The party head there to meet the parents. (50 exp)
- Unfortunately Gorund's parents are dead. It is tragic. Especially since their house had food in it, they were too old to get up and cook. (50 exp)
- The harpsichord is stashed in the house and, realising that the spooky chateau is available for a LIMITED TIME ONLY during the Halloween season, the party head there! (50 exp)
- The chateau squats in front of Mt Death Frost, looking as though it has emerged from the very earth itself. A hedge maze is in front of the path to the door (50 exp)
- Investigation reveals that the area around the Chateau is covered by some sort of invisible barrier, necessitating use of the maze to enter... (50 exp)
- Zan casts Dispel Magic on the barrier and the party enter. That was easy! (50 exp)
- As they enter, a bored Frenchman speaks in their heads. He speaks Occitan but everyone understands what he's saying. Sophia, it turns out, actually knows Occitan already! (50 exp)
- The grounds around the chateau are well groomed, but empty. Inspecting the
- An outbuilding is inspected, it's a smithy! (50 exp)
- Inside are two forges, a couple of normal swords, and a bunch of horseshoes and pots and pans and other useful things of chateau life. (50 exp)
- Testing the forges, it seems sticking a torch in there causes it to turn into a little talking flame guy! They seem simple, but very hot, and love to eat fuel. (50 exp)
- Lulu takes the opportunity, with Cranky Jim's help, to forge meteoric iron claimed from a Dwarven dungeon aaaaages ago into knuckledusters. Sweet. (50 exp)
- Some of the party leave in pursuit of the kitchens, reasoning that there might be marmalade within. I don't know why they had this idea but it's probably true now. (50 exp)
- The bored Frenchman gets bored of the Smithy people and tells the little flame people to attack! They turn all angry-faced, but Lulu is quick with the forge door and shuts them in! (50 exp)
- The other flames might be attacking next session... but for this one we've run out of time. (50 exp)
Total: 1250 exp

Misc:
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)- Near Death Experience bonus (Ludovico - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Art bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Lulu, Ludovico - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Gastron, Cranky Jim, Jumurak - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Lulu, Gorund, Sophia - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 550 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None as yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 76049 (Level up at 128000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54325 (Level up at 72000)

Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 50601 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 38082 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 12887 (Level up at 16000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 31025 (Level up at 35200)
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 7282 (Level up at 12000)
Tom / Ludovico, Level 2 Magic User: 2496 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell!
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 2 Barbarian: 2096 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Table!
Absent or Retired:
Warren / Dante, Level 1 Elf (Flitting Gad): 2001 (Level up at 3000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)

Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)

James / 
Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)
*DING from afar!* +1d6 HP! Max 36 Rats!Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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