Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Session 113 - Well Done

Alternate title of this recap was "Friendly Fire". Harr harr. But there's a whole THREE meanings to this week's title, maybe more!

Spooky shit. Near deaths. Fun for all!

I think the fire-down-the-well moment is one of my favourite moments in D&D to date.

This recap's late again, so see you tonight!


Inline images 1
- Lulu, by Ollie

Placard below the version that hangs in the museum
"Lulu and the Death of Unknown Companion c. 1553

Pontormo 1494 - 1555

This picture depicts the yet to be crowned Empress Lulu Gorga holding a dying adventurer in her arms surrounded by her Companions. The identity of the young man is unknown, but is widely believed to Ludovico de Firenze who was part of the group who destroyed the Necromancer King of Death Frost Mountain in around 1550. What is remarkable about of this piece is that it is the first painting commissioned by a Gorgarian monarch. Up to this point, Gorgarian leaders had typically only erected vast statues and monuments to commemorate their military success. More generally, captured artisans, consider far inferior to warrior elites, were often blinded and crippled before being used for archery practice by princelings. In fact Pontormo himself was captured in a Gorgan raid on Venice in 1499 and was only spared a similar fate because his new master, Lord Krog, a vassal king of Lord Gorga Lord of All, was betrothed to Lulu Spiderbite, the Great Gorga''s favourite child, and realised Lulu's interest in the barbarian states of the south might win him favour with his bride to be. Pontormo was presented as a wedding present, and following the Gorgan invasion of England in 1553 he was commissioned to decorate the throne room of the vast palace which was built on the remains of the city of Fate (modern day New Gorga). In the background, being crucified is the Hyper Jesus, however modern academics believe it is in fact Titian, a cotempenary of Pontormo, who was crucified on Sailsbury plane, the year before work on the New Gorga palace was begun. Such acts were the only way slave artisans such as Pontormo could rebel against their overlords without being tortured to death."
- from Ollie


Session 113 - Well Done

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 21 March, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

Enemies Defeated:
- Ten living flame people, doused variously (1000 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Not much?
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- First party to enter the Chateau itself (100 exp)
- Explored 6 areas (120 exp)
- 3 random encounters (150 exp)
Total: 370 exp
New Backstory:- Ludovico was exiled from his town for being a crap doctor and turned to begging. One day a man in strange robes gave him a strange book and it BLEW HIS FUCKING MIND. (+1 Charisma)
- Gastron has a terrifying secret... in his mission to taste every kind of meat in the world, he has tasted the sweet flesh of a child. 
(Once per session, force a morale check by telling people a new horrifying anecdote that actually happened to you)
Events:
- All is well following the trapping of the fire people last week. Zan uses a water glyph and pours water into the furnaces, quenching them. (50 exp)
- Outside, Gastron has realised that the fire person in his bottle has stopped shaking. It must be dying! He uncorks the bottle a liiiiiittle bit... and the creature jumps out! (50 ep)
- It is VERY angry and also burns your stuff when it hits you, creating more of itself. A chef hat, a bunch of receipts, and a bag of peat will go up in flames during the fight. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party jog over as things go to shit. Gastron evades the monsters and jumps down a well to avoid the flame. (50 exp)
- Dante the elf gets smashed into the ground by one of the roaring flame people, but Sophia ghost-blasts it off him. (50 exp)
- Guido strides in to do battle with the flame, but it is too difficult for a skeleton to smash a fire with mere fists. (50 exp)
- Gorund plays his annoying kazoo as he skips away from the battle, drawing many of the flame guys after him! (50 exp)
- Zan runs in with a Make Water glyph drawn on his hands. It's scary and chases one of the fire people away! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim runs in, still wearing forge clothing, with a SUPER EFFECTIVE gambit! He swings a cloth over one of the flame dudes, picks the whole thing up with tongs, and chucks it down the well! (50 exp)
- It surges down the well, burning down the rope and bucket Jumurak and Ludovico have been trying to winch down to Gastron for a while, and... (50 exp)
- It rolls a 20. Gastron is fucked. Right in the face. Burns sweep over him and unconsciousness looms. (50 exp)
- Jim, who didn't realise their was somebody down the well, feels a little guilty. (50 exp)
- The tide turns against the fire people, assailed by multiple ghost beams and water glyph attacks. Soon they are all slain. (50 exp)
- The mission to rescue Gastron begins in earnest! Zan jumps down to heal him while a Gloating Disk is summoned beneath them both, and gloats as it raises him from the depths. (50 exp)
- A ghostly figure has appeared by the well, cranking a ghostly crank and muttering to himself. He speaks Occitan which is unfortunate, but Ludovico's Comprehend Languages combined with a massage breaches the language barrier. (50 exp)
- Some conversation later and he leaves, vanishing into thin air. (50 exp)
- Another ghost shimmers into existence while Gorund checks out the front door, which leans ajar. (50 exp)
- The ghost is walking around with a cleaver, asking if they have seen "zat basterrd oo screwed mah wahf". He's not speaking English of course, so Ludovico attempts to massage him into a better mood. (50 exp)
- IT DOESN'T WORK! Ludovico gets a cleaver to the shoulder, opening him up to the bone! Sophia and Zan, acting quickly and independently, begin casting spells. Unfortunately Sophia's successful Subjugate Dead goes off at the same time as Zan's successful Turn Undead and the now-friendly ghost runs off and vanishes. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, Jumurak is checking out what's down the well. Turns out a bunch of tunnels that lead down deeper... he finds a waterlogged book (in Occitan, annoyingly) but otherwise gives up the well for now. (50 exp)
- Someone peeks through a window and sees a delicious feast! People in there eating delicious food! (50 exp)
- Gorund has entered the house through the big solid oak door, finding a corridor with hanging panels on one side. They depict sexual acts between skeletons, corpses, and people. Sexy. (50 exp)
- The main armory hall is large and well lit, warm light floods through cracked glass, illuminating a few suits of armour (which maybe moves?) and some richly appointed furniture (which doesn't). (50 exp)
- Gorund explores further, seeing occasional spooky things happen. Going through a door, he finds himself in an antechamber. Only real thing of interest is the Ayarai family crest, with Non Omnis Moriar motto. (50 exp)
- Someone behind a door starts banging and shouting for someone to open the door! Gorund does so, and a flustered looking ghost barges out, thanks him, and wanders down the hall (50 exp)
- The rest of the party, following Gorund's path into the building, inspect many of the same things... as the session ends they begin to squeak open the door to the banquet hall... (50 exp)
Total: 1250 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Burns bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco di Panicco dell'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Gorund, Zan, Jumurak, Cranky Jim, Gastron - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Ludovico, Gastron - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Gastron, Dante, Ludovico - 100 exp ea.)

Total: 1050 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None as yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Many close calls, but everyone survived!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 51133 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 38514 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 13103 (Level up at 16000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 31557 (Level up at 35200)
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 7814 (Level up at 12000)
Tom / Ludovico, Level 2 Magic User: 3128 (Level up at 4500)
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 2 Barbarian: 2828 (Level up at 4000)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 2533 (Level up at 3000)
Absent or Retired:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 76649 (Level up at 128000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)

Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)

James / 
Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)
*DING from afar!* +1d6 HP! Max 36 Rats!Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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