Thursday 12 January 2017

Session 119 - The Endless Depths of Bad Taste

You know, even though I know that this game tends towards weird shit, we probably had the hardest-to-explain-to-outsiders session in a long time this week.

It was when Eleyn surfaced and you guys caused swarms of rats to burst from her sundry orifices that I realised that I could never really beat you guys at the Weird Horror game.

Many deaths, as many level-ups. Such is life.
It is fitting that Eleyn ended up like this. She became defined by the horror of eternal life, and now she begets life forever more.
It's poetic, man.




NSFW, by Tom

Inline images 2Inline images 1
Tries to separate these but can't somehow. Frog monster sculpture by Fraser.
Little fishy things by me I guess.


Session 119 - The Endless Depths of Bad Taste

Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 3 April, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Pisces

New Backstory:
- Jade alleges that the previous incarnation of the Fated King, who bore a striking resemblance to our own timeline's Henry VIII, was so besotted with Jade that he made moves on her. It was then that she realised that she could seduce any man. (Once per session, cause someone to make a romantic advance on you)

Enemies Defeated:
- None.
Total: 0 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A brooch with embossed frog and green gem eyes -- ref: chateau B6
- 200gp, 3000sp (13000 exp)
- Scroll #344 - suspected Cure Critical Wounds scroll
Total: 13000 exp

Exploration:- Discovered an alternate exit from the Chateau (100 exp)
- First party to enter the DEEPS BELOW THE CHATEAU (300 exp)
- Explored I guess one more dungeon area technically (20 exp)
Total: 420 exp
Events:
- After some debate, it is decided that a rescue party will be formed to save Gastron from a terrible froggy fate. (50 exp)
- Zan dispels the forcefield to allow respite from the chateau, and also plausibly allow people to swap characters. (50 exp)
- Guido is lowered down on a rope but is nowhere near the bottom. Possibly can't see in the dark. He's panicking. Given light runes on back of skull to see by. Still nothing but little weird fish to be seen down there. (50 exp)- The legless bled-out frog is Raised by Sophia to become a frog zombie. She uses Eyes of the Dead to see what it sees, then sends it down to scout. (50 exp)- Weird fish. Coral-like growths from walls. More weird fish. A sea of jelly-like bubbles. Beyond them, huge wide flat bubbles. Squeezing between, yellowish tendrils extending towards strange lights in the deeps. Connection cuts out as frog zombie is eaten. (50 exp)
- Loathe to sacrifice characters on an assumed suicide mission, Eleyn turns up (or was always there...?) along with fan favourite Ratt LeBlanc aka RATMAN. (50 exp)
- Gorund yearns for death and also joins the scuba team. Logistical concerns re: air, pressure, cold are sorta solved via an air rune air supply and using Eleyn as a submersible. Gorund and Ratman jump in the psychosexual submarine. This is somebody's fetish for sure. (50 exp)
- Nobody else wants to go. I think they've played this game before. Gimmick online: everyone else is rats. (50 exp)
- Inside Eleyn, they all descend. Weird fungal growths, on inspection, have bubbles bubbling out of them! Eleyn swims closer to one, finding a moon pool entrance from below. (50 exp)
- She surfaces! Her orifices squelch open and swarms of rats, a ratman, and even worse a BAD MUSICIAN leap forth! Screams echo! (50 exp)
- Humans, grown into the walls below the waist, arms chained. They speak Occitan but can only scream and occasionally vomit frogspawn into the warm shallow water. (50 exp)
- Something is biting and scratching at Eleyn's submerged under-nipples! Oh shit! At the same time, a blurry object pulls itself from the water - it's the woman of your dreams. (50 exp)
- Ratman falls into her arms, her rows of plump rat-teats engorged with milk as she wraps her long slick tail around his midsection. Her tongue slides past her incisors and down his throat, and he feels it pulse as it disgorges its contents inside his full little belly. (50 exp)
- Eleyn begins to feel woozy from all the biting. Gorund's mind clouds over as the gorgeous woman approaches him, her hands cradle his head and pull him towards her full lips, he gags around her tongue as it snakes into his mouth and down his throat. (50 exp)
- The rat swarms fall in love with the swirling column of prime breeding females that enveloped their ratman master before moving on towards the human. (50 exp)
- Eleyn surges to the surface, frog monster mouths gripped onto her undercarriage. The beautiful person smiles and walks towards her, leaving the others on their knees behind her with huge dopey smiles on their lovestruck faces. She embraces Eleyn, who finally finds someone who will love her for who she is. (50 exp)
- Some of Rat LeBlanc's rats realise what's happening, try to snap him out of it. He clears his head, attacks, fails, falls to his knees. Gorund's lute falls from his hands and breaks... (50 exp)
- The prophecy! Gorund will be reunited with a friend by a broken device! The sound of breaking strings stirs a pang of something else inside Eleyn.. one almost already forgotten. (50 exp)
She grabs Gorund in one of her many mouths and dives, swims, spits him out, descends once more to the realm of her new true love. (50 exp)- Perhaps fittingly for one who could never die, Eleyn's final doom is to become an endless font of horrific life. (50 exp)
- Gorund is dragged from the water by the rest of the party. Against the odds. he has survived. Thanks, gypsy. Thypsy. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim, probably disgusted, checks out an "empty" room. His magical secret door detection monocle reveals... several floating lock shapes outlined in glowing gold! (50 exp)
- He feels around... and they seem to be invisible chests and unlocked coffers! One of the chests has a lock that's beyond even Svetnir's abilities to pick, but the other opens to reveal rich contents. (50 exp)
- Deciding to continue exploring the chateau despite setbacks, the party go back to the great hall to sleep. There they discover none other than Dr Grijze van Held himself! (50 exp)
- He has picked up a book on the topic of the Triumph of Law in the mean time, but he hasn't read it properly yet. (50 exp)
- As the party settles down to rest, Gorund suddenly begins heaving up piles of frogspawn! He survives, a foam of eggs spreading around his knees. We end here.(50 exp)
Total: 1300 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Freudian bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Shunga bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- Vore bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Jade, Svetnir - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Art bonus (Svetnir - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Gorund, Grizje, Svetnir - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Gorund - 100 exp)
Total: 600 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here...

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Gastron, human spawning chamber for the frog monsters
- Ratt LeBlanc, ratman spawning chamber for the frog monsters
- Eleyn, vagina monster spawning chamber for the frog monsters

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 7 Cleric (Termaxian): 65154 (Level up at 112000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 51705 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 5 POWERFIGHTER: 17090 (Level up at 32000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeletonJames / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)*DECEASED*
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 48178 (Level up at 70400)Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy*DECEASED*Henry / Gorund, Level 5 Specialist: 19744 (Level up at 24000)
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 4 Barbarian: 14713 (Level up at 16000)*DECEASED*Tom / Jade, Level 4 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 12586 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +saves! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell!
Fraser / Svetnir, Level 2 Goblin: 2916 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +saves! +1 goblin buddy!
James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 2 Specialist (Doctor): 2589 (Level up at 3000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!
Absent or Retired:
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 84110 (Level up at 128000)
Sascha / Deek, Level 1 Specialist (Jack-of-all-Trades): 480 (Level up at 1500)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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