Thursday, 5 January 2017

Session 118 - Dungeons and Deep Ones

We return! With a session that may go down as one of my favourites ever.
Barbarian on Barbarian fork-throwing!
Getting drunk in the wine cellar while others suffer!
Diving down to the dark city of the frog monsters!

Gastron may be doomed... but we will see!


Also check out these art attacks holy shit

Inline images 1
- Sophia, from Oli

Inline images 2
- Salisburgh Plain, from Tom

Inline images 3
- The demise of Gastron, also from Tom

Inline images 4
And finally, a frog monster doodle from me!


Session 118 - Dungeons and Deep Ones

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 28 March, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Pisces

Bonus Session 117 exp granted metaphysically:- 6070 exp to Cranky Jim
- 5270 exp to Zan
- 5220 exp to Sophia
- 5170 exp to Gorund, Jade, Gastron
- 5070 to Lulu

New Characters:
- Deek, a Jack-of-all-Trades Specialist and former chalk-cutter.
- Vetnir, a Goblin hedge trimmer aka hairdresser. Fascination with knives.

New Backstory:
Jade had a liaison with a demon in human form when she worked as a courtesan. She was forever tainted, becoming an Elf. The fearful nobles kicked her out of court, and she was forced into a life of a common street whore. (+1 to reaction rolls with subterranean beings)
- Zan's strange rebirth allowed him to see Things Man Was Not Meant to Know in the cracks between realities. (+2 to Search in pitch blackness)
- Gastron once committed that most egregious of french sins - the consumption of Crème Anglaise... and he loved it. (+1 when repeating a successful action) 

Enemies Defeated:
- 3 ghoulish people-eaters, slaughtered (150 exp)
- 6 batrachian hand-tongued frog things, scared off (300 exp)
Total: 450 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 6 silver pieces (6 exp)
- 15 bottles of very fine wine (750 exp)
Total: 756 exp

Exploration:- First party to enter the basement level of the chateau (100 exp)
- 5 dungeon areas explored (100 exp)
- Secret door found (50 exp)
Total: 250 exp
Events:
- Awakening from their strange double-dreams of a distant past and a sundered future, the party awaken in the great hall of the Cursed Chateau! Among them, somehow, are two newcomers. (50 exp)
- One of said newcomers, Deek, inspects the fireplace. The grate is loose! And there are stairs behind! (50 exp)
- Descending the ash-covered stairs into the darkness, the party come across a wide room. The chef walks past. Yowls and yammering from the dark. (50 exp)
- Lulu utilisies the shit power of her christmas jumper to sneak towards the yammering. It's those ghouls again! The jumper lights up in christmassy glory and it's time for a fight! (50 exp)
- Jade sneaks up and goes for the backstab! It is a dismal failure, and a wild-haired woman throws her through a door, its ghostly venom paralysing her! (50 exp)
- Gastron whips a meat fork from his quantum chef attire and throws it into the melee! It goes right into the meat of Lulu's arm, to her consternation. (50 exp)
- Lulu rips it out of her arm and throws it back, grazing Gastron's french face! (50 exp)
- A twitch of Vetnir's wrists turns his shears into a pair of short knives! He buries them in a ghoul's neck and wrenches them apart. Deek takes out the other with a shovel. (50 exp)
- With that over, the door is inspected. A long corridor beyond, ending suddenly at the same barrier that surrounds the chateau. (50 exp)
- Jade's paralyzed body is hefted onto a shoulder and carried until it begins to soften. (50 exp)
- A door to the north requires a skull-key. It is left for now. (50 exp)
- A further corridor split reveals a room that becomes natural cave. Mushroom clusters are identified by Deek as some sort of deadly spore-spewing species. (50 exp)
- Zan gets to work with fire rune experimentation while Jade, Lulu and Cranky Jim wander off and find a wine cellar. (50 exp)
- They crack into the booze, the door shutting behind them. It has a skull-keyhole from this side. Lulu uses Santa's skull as a cup. (50 exp)
- Zan has managed to set his shield alight with magma. It works well otherwise. A decay beam is fairly ineffective. (50 exp)
- Gastron gets bored and pulls a potato from his pack, throws it into the room, and sets off the mushrooms! (50 exp)
- Zan manages to more-or-less escape, but Gastron's health is permanently damaged. Frenchman that he is, he gathers some mushroom in order to smoke it. (50 exp)
- The party spike the wine cellar door open, rejoin, and continue exploring the caverns. (50 exp)
- In a large cavern, a strange froggy obelisk at the edge of an underground pool. Lulu lobs a potato in... and the bow waves of a large creature swimming towards the shore... (50 exp)
- All except Gastron back off... and the bulbous froggy beast flicks its hand-tongue out of the water to grab him! Luckily Gastron's an absolute beast, so drags it to him by the tongue and rips off its legs! (50 exp)
- Also it turns out he learnt Ancient Batrachian from a frog that lived under his hat like that rat off Ratatouille, so he can speak to the thing! It is in great pain. (50 exp)
- Jade wanders off into a bare rocky possibly magical chamber. She throws Nigel Farage's severed head into the room to set off suspected traps... but sees his face! She is forced to run over and punch the shit out of it! Farage's face is pulped. (50 exp)
- More frog things erupt from the water, but Gastron brutalises the body of the de-legged batrachian and induces fear in their froggy hearts! (50 exp)
- They turn to flee, but Gastron jumps on the back of one of them in order to pursue! Luckily he previously drew an air rune on an eggcup to use as an impromptu oxygen mask (50 exp)
- As the amphibians swim deeper and deeper into the cold watery depths... it becomes obvious to the rest of the that Gastron may never return. (50 exp)
- Next session the party will vote on whether they want to rescue Gastron in some sort of insane scuba rescue mission, or leave him to die off-screen. (50 exp)
Total: 1300 exp

Misc:
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tonguetacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- Treasure Drinker bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Lulu, Jade - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco di Panico dell'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Vetnir - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
Total: 600 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here...

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Gastron... unless a rescue mission is enacted next session!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 84110 (Level up at 128000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 7 Cleric (Termaxian): 63118 (Level up at 112000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 46142 (Level up at 70400)James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 4 Barbarian: 14713 (Level up at 16000)Tom / Jade, Level 2 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 5180 (Level up at 6000)Fraser / Vetnir, Level 1 Goblin: 580 (Level up at 2000)
Sascha / Deek, Level 1 Specialist (Jack-of-all-Trades): 480 (Level up at 1500)
Absent or Retired:
Henry / Gorund, Level 5 Specialist: 17508 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 49669 (Level up at 72000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 5 POWERFIGHTER: 16072 (Level up at 32000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)

James / 
Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)

Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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