Sunday, 7 May 2017

Session 135 - Disasters Averted

Some actual heroics... and some actual villainy!
Rake and Andromeda, hero and villain, neither knowing that they are sworn to destroy each other!
ZARAT takes the non-heroic non-villainous green ending, maybe the first character to have a happy ending to their story!
Necromancers give the party a mission to wipe out some tentacle cultists, but which faction is more villainous?

A bunch of Art Attack today. Make sure you check out the Harry Potter-style Wanted poster Ollie made, attached to this email. Seems I can't embed video!

Inline images 1 
Charles scribbles the tentacle killing Rake's warhorse mid-session
Inline images 2
- Tom improves on perfection

Inline images 3
- I depict ZARAT's peaceful final rest in the mould pile
Inline images 5
- Charles draws, "Sick, hurt and hunted by the cruel uncaring world, Zarat comes to terms with his fate and seeks refuge with the mould enclave...for the first time he feels he's finally found a place he belongs, and is accepted for who he is. 🐀"

Inline images 4
- I show Zena's dreams of Hyperjesus by ripping off KSBD

Session 135 - Disasters Averted
Campaign Date:
Monday, 1 May, 1660
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Aries

New Backstory:
- Blue John just can't keep hold of money. He gambles it away as soon as he earns it. (+1 to Gambits)
- Andromeda witnessed a gypsy boy stealing a gun to get revenge on the gypsy-bashing drunks who beat up his mother. Andromeda protected the kid after he was caught by the weapons trader, ultimately killing him. She also killed the man who'd beaten the boy's mother before fleeing the town forever. (+1 to hit guards, soldiers, and other forces of Johnny Law)
- Raaf took part in the wars of the Dutch Revolt. During the burning of an enemy encampment, he realised that innocents were caught in the blaze. He rescued them, but burned his face and got stabbed for his trouble. (take half damage from fire)
- POWERLAD was beckoned over to the deathbed of the kindly farmer who raised him. He whispered the secret that shattered POWERLAD's world forever... his true parentage. (+1 Wisdom)

Enemies Defeated:
- The Bogwitch (10 exp)
- 6 city guards (60 exp)
- 5 tentacle cultists (60 exp)
Total: 130 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 5 churros
- 26sp (26 exp)
- Potion #194 - Silvery with a gold coin fizzing like a berocca inside
- Book #253 - Herbs (100 exp)
- Book #253 - Herbs (100 exp)
- Book #225 - Anatomy (100 exp)
- Book #251 - Diseases (100 exp)
- Book #119 - Dwimmermount (100 exp)
- Book #147 - Jesus (probably a bible) (100 exp)
Total: 626 exp

- First party to visit the Moondin Arena (100 exp)
- First party to visit Moonminster (100 exp)
- First party to reach the Chained Tentacle (200 exp)
- 18 miles of travel (60 exp)
Total: 460 exp

--- The Adventures of ZARAT and the Bogwitch
The most pressing concern at the start of the session - ZARAT is back! And just covered in mould. Sporangia and all. No way anybody's letting him in the city. (50 exp)
- He gives the guards a hefty bribe and they bring him to the Bogwitch under the cover of escorting him to be punished or something. (50 exp)
- They reach the Bogwitch, and on the way see a smooth, perfect, sexless living statue giving out advice to townsfolk. No arms like the Venus de Milo. Moving on. (50 exp)
- Nix and Blue John tail them at a safe distance, in case something goes wrong. And we all know Blue John's attitude to mould. (50 exp)
- Apparently ZARAT is the child of a witch and her rat familiar, as an aside. (50 exp)
- Unfortunately ZARAT's so uncharismatic due to the mould that the reaction roll legitimately goes into the negatives. The witch HATES ratmen. She ties him to a chair under the pretense of healing him and tries to kill him. A pillow presses over ZARAT's face... (50 exp)
- ZARAT blows his spore cloud, infesting everyone in the room! He himself gets massively paranoid, tied down in the chair, while the new infestees go through a whole range of symptoms. Two of the guards get real aggressive. (50 exp)
- ZARAT's rat swarms chew him out of his bonds as Blue John charges in with a mould mask, attacking and soon killing the guards. He goes to unchain ZARAT... but he's gone?! (50 exp)
- A paranoid ZARAT has wriggled himself out through a hole near the floor. Blue John debates whether he should shrink himself and follow, but ends up leaving. (50 exp)
- Blue John and Nix leave the Bogwitch after looting a bunch of books... and hear screams in the distance. It sounds like it's coming from the arena! (50 exp)
--- The Tragedies of Moondin Arena
- Earlier that day... most of the party has headed to the arena. Rake Hacker takes himself to the fantasy ticket box and volunteers HIMSELF for arena battle! Is there a low level starter battle he can get in on? Preferably increasing slowly in difficulty with occasional boss battles? (50 exp)
- He's told that the arena is pretty much a bloodless undead-on-undead battle arena akin to robot wars. Necromancers bring their most ruthless necromantic creations and test them in glorious battle! (50 exp)
- There is a re-enactment of the Assault on Mt Death Frost coming up that needs people to play the barbarians though. Rake declines on discovering the Barbarians all die at the end. Spoilers. (50 exp)
- That afternoon's bout is between the Crocobeasts and Alphabearon - animal themed undead. Odds are even so it looks to be a good match! (50 exp)
- In the stands, POWERLAD is on a date with his new wife Bertha. They're... actually real cute together. (50 exp)
- Banjo Fishwick is on the rob, scoping out unsuspecting marks and stealing their wallets when the crowd roars. Also stealing their churros. He also finds a potion that is likely a Potion of Treasure Finding. (50 exp)
- By the bookies, Rake is gambling all he's got on the Crocobeasts! The bookie takes his money, but Rake hears him muttering that it's rigged towards Alphabearon! Rake sobs! It's tense! (50 exp)
- And atop the arena itself, rifled arquebus in hand... Andromeda draws a bead on the black-armoured eight-foot-tall Sauron-esque Necromancer-General presiding over proceedings... (50 exp)
- To the bookie's dismay, Alphabearon loses! Torn limb from limb by the ravening Crocabeasts! Looks like his info was bad, or maybe Alphabearon refused to take the fall! (50 exp)
- The bookie doesn't have the money for a payout, things look dire. He begs Rake to get him away from the angry punters and Rake obliges, grabbing him and hoofing it towards the exit. (50 exp)
- Suddenly, a shot rings out! The shot rings off the Necromancer-General's black armour. He looks up and sees a pink-armoured figure glowering atop the arena roof, gun in hand! He is dragged back from the balcony as the stadium is locked down, her face etched into his mind. (50 exp)
- The crowd panics. Rake's the first out and manages to clear the portcullis of the exit as it slams down, grabbing the bookie out from under like he's Indiana Jones' hat. They're locking down the arena! (50 exp)
- But the crowd, panicking, is being crammed against the portcullis from the inside. It's basically the Hillsborough disaster. Rake runs to the portcullis, straining to lift the gate and save everyone! (50 exp)
- He manages it, but just a moment too slow. A small child is crushed against the grate. Countless lives have been saved this day... but one was lost. The screaming crowd flow out around Rake cradles the boy's corpse. A poignant scene if you disregard Rake's clumsy attempts to hit on the dead kid's mother. (50 exp)
- Andromeda escapes across the rooftops, unheeding. She doesn't know that Rake is the hero of the Arena Disaster now, and he doesn't know that it was she that fired the shot. Drama! POWERLAD and Bertha's date is ruined, by the way. (50 exp)
- The bookie, overawed by Rake's heroics, promises to dedicate his life to good works and charity. (50 exp)
- Rake and Raaf go to see the black-armoured Necromancer-General, Castigate Pox, in his office in the town's garrison. Rake's new hero reputation gets them in easy! (50 exp)
- They play bad cop/badder cop and ask if he needs anything heroic done. Turns out his major headaches are the drakencult to the south, and whatever's guarding the giant tentacle to the west. (50 exp)
- Rake keeps going back into the Necromancer's office to ask for "oh just one more thing". Upside - in exchange for promising to sort out the tentacle, Rake bargains some equipment for the party! Everyone gets outfitted with army surplus! (50 exp)
--- ZARAT gets the Green Ending
- Waking up in a post-high haze, ZARAT finds himself alone and surrounded by rats in a rubbish heap (50 exp)
- He heads for the cathedral, hoping a healer who isn't dead might live there. He knocks at the boarded up door... and the voice of Moldus Vane answers (50 exp)
- "That's, like, a guy!" breathes Tom, because he's read some of my book. Nobody else has though so Tom gets mocked. (50 exp)
- On hearing that ZARAT is nearly overtaken by mould, a hidden door in the boarded up double doors is opened. Within are many mould people. ZARAT feels at home for the first time... and goes into their embrace. We zoom out as ZARAT finally finds his people. A good end. (50 exp)
--- The Day of the Tentacle
- Re-outfitted and without ZARAT, the party heads across the boggy forest towards the big fuckoff tentacle in the distance. On the way, they meet up with Zena. A Fighter from the Wastes who was/wasn't in Dunnsmouth (50 exp)
- After an uneventful journey along the elf roads that seem to lead the party straight to the tentacle, the party see it up close! A huge pit, from which emerges an enormous tentacle bound by chains. Mist shrouds the area, steaming from the necromantically charged chains. (50 exp)
- Robed shapes in the mist murmer strange chants. Rake rides forwards atop his newly acquired warhorse to investigate! (50 exp)
- It's hard to see in the mist, the chanting burbles to a culmination and a tentacle erupts from underneath Rake! It pierces right through his horse! He sees robed cultists around him, arms raised high! (50 exp)
- Rake tries to talk to them despite the fact they just killed his fucking horse, but they don't reply. (50 exp)
- Blue John sends his kestrel familiar to claw out one's eyes... and the kestrel is shocked to discover the guy has no eyes! Its face is flat and featureless like the skin of a tentacle! (50 exp)
- The horse-killing tentacle drops Rake's horse into the pit, then squirms back to attack Rake! He's grabbed and lifted into the air! (50 exp)
- Raaf and Blue John action-jump through the air, firing shots downrange towards the tentacle holding Rake. Raaf tries to explain that he'd prefer to be called Mairead from now on in mid-air. They hit the tentacle and it drops Rake, but a stray shot nearly takes his head off! (50 exp)
- Rake gets up and hews into two of the cultists with his axe. The others flee! Inspecting the bodies, they're some sort of strange tentacle people. Their torsos ripple strangely... guess we'll see what that means next session. (50 exp)
Total: 2100 exp

- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)- Dramatic Scene bonus (50 exp)- Fame bonus (50 exp)- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)- Infamy bonus (50 exp)- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)- PETA bonus (50 exp)- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (James / Raaf - 100 exp)
- Caller (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (Henry / Blue John - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Ollie, Charles, Tom - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Ollie, Charles, Tom - 100 exp ea)
- Snackbringer bonus (Andy, Fraser, Kitty - 100 exp ea.)
- Good End bonus (Charles / ZARAT - 500 exp to Zena)

- "You'd think that the infested people in Moondin would have all turned into mindless Filled Men by now, but they haven't. What gives?"
- "Prayers to Oberon, the God of the Nature and Growth, can prevent the mold sickness from taking you."
- "The men of Moondin were creating counterfeit Raise Gems and selling them to unfortunates in Fate for a tidy profit. Free raises for no-fault deaths sure put an end to that little racket!"
- "The mould men still infest the woods, and I've heard tell that there's still an enclave that survives under Moondin itself!"
- "There's an old hermit who lives in a tree out there in the woods somewhere. He lives beneath a tree with roots made of gold and talks to animals and chews strange herbs to keep the mold at bay."
-The Dead Treaty is only as strong as those who enforce it. If even a single Necromancer-General could be toppled… we could shift the balance of power to retake our rightful lands!"

Death Toll and Injuries:
- ZARAT, joined with the mould collective in Moonminster... at peace forever.

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 4 Barbarian: 11550 (Level up at 16000)- Henry / Blue John Goujon, Level 4 Magic-User: 11126 (Level up at 18000)
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 10255 (Level up at 18000)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 9830 (Level up at 18000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 4 Fighter: 8518 (Level up at 16000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +Saves Improve! +Backstory!
- Charles / ZARAT, Level 3 Ratman: 4739 (Level up at 6000)*SYNTHESIS ENDING*
- James, Raaf van Held in a wig, Level 2 Fighter: 3544 (Level up at 4000)
- Andy / Banjo Fishwick, Level 2 Specialist (Thief): 2128 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!
- Charles / Zena, Level 1 Fighter: 1663 (Level up at 2000)

Absent or Retired:
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 4 Cleric (Termaxian): 12149 (Level up at 14000)
- Tom / 
Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / Sergei, Level 1 Specialist (Poisoner): 632 (Level up at 1500)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

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