Monday, 15 May 2017

Session 136 - Guys I Think This Might Be a Tentacle Dungeon

Why did it have to be tentacles?! A lot of reward for a lot of risk, so that worked out pretty much perfect. My poor, poor basilisks though. First time I use a proper D&D monster and they get magic-punched to death.
I decided to update the house rule doc with a few of the new bits and pieces like backstory and the new Zeanism religion.
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This is the new religion grid thing. Zeanist Clerics get a spell that makes drugs have no downsides for the duration. Also gives Zeanist faithful a holy contact high, so that's probably exploitable! 

Combat wonk:
- Stabby weapons like swords are a simple +1 to hit now.
- Shanky weapons now have a chance of bonus damage in a wrestle.
- Smashy weapons get +2 to hit against Medium armour or better.
- Reworded Parry

And on that note, Tom made us some rad new character sheets! Check this shit out!
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Saves got renamed and Search is called Awareness, but more importantly there's space for a portrait now!

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Kitty depicts POWERLAD! and Andromeda's superhero high-five double-attack!

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- Tom shows us Rake's TRUE POWER

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- Charles doodles happenings mid-remembrance

Session 136 - Guys I Think This Might Be a Tentacle Dungeon
Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 3 May, 1660
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Aries

New Backstory:
- Rake fought for the Spanish during the Dutch Revolt. His vast collection of trousers was his pride and joy, but one day he was forced to use them all to build a wall to protect a Dutch town. It kept the enemy out... but Rake was left trouserless. (Once per session, prevent something from breaking a barrier or fortification)
- Banjo Fishwick left his home for the cities to use his pickpocketing skills for maximum profit. As he became infamous in each place, he was forced to move on, but always to another city. (+1 Charisma)

Enemies Defeated:
- Several floppy flaily cultist innards (40 exp)
- A few grey-robed cultists  (30 exp)
- 2 surging tentacle organisms (150 exp)
- 4 Gold-horned basilisks (300 exp)
- A fairly large tentacle (50 exp)
Total: 570 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 4 egg-like black stones (1000 exp)
- A tangled silver ball (1000 exp)
- 4 basilisk heads with gold horns (20000 exp)
- Friendship ( - team chat engaged! - )
Total: 22000 exp

- First party to reach the first level of the Tentacle Dungeon (100 exp)
- 2 Wandering Monster encounters (100 exp)
- 2 secret doors found (100 exp)
Total: 300 exp

- We rejoin the party as the cultists Rake killed last session burst open and floppy tentacular human-faced things burst out of them! (50 exp)
- They're disposed of easily by crossbow and sword, inspection reveals them to be sort of melted rubbery humans. (50 exp)
- Andromeda gives an arm to her dog as a chew toy. Staring down the pit, Blue John sends his kestrel familiar down to scout. (50 exp)
- Basically you've got three doors on three landings, stairs degrade before they reach the third door, a cave mouth yawns a little below the first landing. (50 exp)
- Make-Light runes are activated and the party descends. The first landing is reached - the door is carved with an image of the world with an enormous tentacle beast reaching from the core. One tendril reaches out as a doorknob. (50 exp)
- It's decided that the cave mouth below should be explored. Blue John's kestrel can't see in the dark, so Andromeda casts Light on her falcon and sends it down as well. (50 exp)
- They don't return. Blue John's mental link gives him an impression of soaring, then plummeting, then stillness. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Andromeda prepare to swing into the cave on ropes. Cecil Blesses Andromeda first in case anything goes wrong. They swing down, tie one of the ropes to the other, and tie themselves on in case they need to be dragged back by Rake. (50 exp)
- There's a steady glow from ahead, and this cave has got a fair number of eerie stalagmites that look a little like frozen people in the light. (50 exp)
- Above, Mairead spots the first floor door creep open and a tendril come searching round the side before darting back in. Everyone up top is on alert. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Andromeda have advanced enough to find a stone kestrel and hawk lying on the ground. Oh no! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD goes to grab the kestrel since it's Blue Jon's familiar and all. Andromeda thinks it's too dangerous and tries to drag her away to no avail. (50 exp)
- Big gold-horned lizards scurry in towards them! Too late to run now! Birds turned to stone... lizards... big horns... Basilisks for sure! (50 exp)
- Andromeda and POWERLAD avert their gaze, lock eyes... and rainbow high-five combo! Rainbows burst from the point of contact, blowing one apart as it leaps towards them and knocking another off the wall! (50 exp)
- Above, the door bursts open! Rake, still holding the rope, turns to see Zena cleave through two tentacle cultists. 2ez. (50 exp)
- Below, Andromeda lets loose blindly with a scattershot charge which nails another of the beasts. Two down! Another claws at POWERLAD who refuses to look away from Andromeda's eyes. (50 exp)
- Somewhere, far above, Bertha gets a flash of doubt about POWERLAD's relationship commitment. (50 exp)
- They combo again with a big Sleep attack, putting the last two basilisks to sleep! It's a simple task to go finish them off in their sleep. Pretty impressive! (50 exp)
- They karate-chop the heads off the basilisks. The golden horns with spiraling iron look pretty valuable, and the heads themselves will look real cool mounted on a wall (50 exp)
- Blue Jon's familiar is still turned to stone... but it manages to regrow a layer of skin and feathers over the top. Now it looks like a kestrel that slides through the air like it's stuck in a reference pose. (50 exp)
- At the landing, scrambling tentacular beasts surge from the door! Nix is in the way, but manages to kick the first off the edge! While she's distracted, the second wraps around her and drags her into the darkness! (50 exp)
- They wrestle... but both roll a 1! The creature tears at Nix's flesh with a swirling starfish-mouth. (50 exp)
- Zena sees this and runs into the darkness! She overshoots, runs past the swirling wrestle, and stumbles into an altar. One of the black ant-egg-shaped stones rolls off onto the floor. (50 exp)
- Zena stabs at the tentacle beast from the altar-side. It chucks Nix down the corridor, toppling those running to assist like ninepins, then turns to attack Zena! (50 exp)
- It chomps the shit out of Zena and she passes out from the pain. From the corridor, Banjo and Blue Jon charge in! Blue Jon spears a tentacle, Banjo flails with his hook. (50 exp)- Cecil's hand touches Nix's leg as she stands up... COMES THE GODHEAD! HyperJesus infuses her spirit... Nix gets a full-on magical girl transformation! (50 exp)
- Hyper-Nix charges in, Maximum Smite! d30, on! It's a crit! Maximum Smite + Choppy Bonus + Barbarian Crit Boost = max damage x6! 48 damage! (50 exp)
- Nix does these ones. (50 exp)
- It explodes into blood, splatting a perfect nine-spoked wheel and turin shroud hyperjesus silhouette onto the altar and wall behind it. It's super fucking dead. (50 exp)
- Nix does the whole pose-while-baddie-explodes-behind-you thing and returns to her normal form. (50 exp)
- Mairead investigates the altar... it moves! Moving the altar causes a hole in the wall to squelch open, it's a tight squeeze but you could totally crawl in there. (50 exp)
- She enters, holding a Make-Light glyph like a torch. It's squelchy and cobwebby in there, and even the spiders seem to have tentacles for legs. (50 exp)
- She crawls past a couple of smooth holes that presumably lead somewhere, and sets off a trap! A rock swings down and cracks her on the arm, she has to be rescued by Blue Jon (50 exp)
- Zena whips up a Make-Light-Mass glyph in the hopes that it will give Mairead some temporary succour. It works, for as long as she holds it on! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon decides to explore the hole himself, get to about the same place and gets bitten by a spider! It's way poisonous so they have to extract him too (50 exp)
- Andromeda and Rake descend the pit to the second doorway. Similar deal to before, except the image is of the world splitting apart around the tentacle beast's body. (50 exp)
- Rake goes in to inspect, sees another altar with an object on it... and is assailed by hooded figures! Oh no! (50 exp)
- Rake kicks them off and dives to the side as Andromeda lets loose a Scattershot charge. They die! (50 exp)
- The treasure is grabbed, a sort of tangled ball of wrought silver tentacles representing the beast in the core of the Earth. Neat! (50 exp)
- The party has a bit of a breather to recuperate... but a tentacle darts out of the pit and tries to drag Zena away! (50 exp)
- Andromeda summons an illusory giant tentacle... which the real tentacle disbelieves. Maybe it just can't see it? (50 exp)
- POWERLAD! summons her classic illusory apocalypse dragon! Which almost works, but is also disbelieved. (50 exp)
- Mairead sends her hero dog to fetch the tentacle, saving Zena! Hooray! But the dog itself falls down and down and out of sight. What a hero. (50 exp)
- Charles utters the classic line - "Guys... I think this might be a tentacle dungeon". (50 exp)
- With wizards down a few spells and several people in a pretty bad way, the party bugs out and makes camp on the outskirts of the woods. All survived!! (50 exp)
Total: 2250 exp

- AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting 
bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Freudian bonus (50 exp)
- Headtaker bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Shunga bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1100 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Mairead - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Guard (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Charles, Fraser, Kitty - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Kitty, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Made us a new Character Sheet! (Tom / Rake - 1000 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (Mairead, Zena - 100 exp ea.)

- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Playboy the Police Dog, sacrificed to save Zena from a tentacular fate.

Exp Totals:
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 2 spell/day! +saves improve! +backstory!
- Fraser / 
Nix Neckbiter, Level 4 Barbarian: 14664 (Level up at 16000)- Henry / Blue John Goujon, Level 4 Magic-User: 14140 (Level up at 18000)
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 13369 (Level up at 18000)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 12844 (Level up at 18000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 4 Fighter: 12632 (Level up at 16000)
- Andy / Banjo Fishwick, Level 3 Specialist (Thief): 5042 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
- Charles / Zena, Level 3 Fighter: 4777 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +backstory!
- James / Mairead, Level 3 Specialist (Policewoman): 3014 (Level up at 6000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- James, Raaf van Held, Level 2 Fighter: 3544 (Level up at 4000)
- Tom / 
Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

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