Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Session 134 - No Country for Mould Men

Just like a lot happened this session. Long story short - the party's out of the woods!
We also had our first ever character-on-character murder which I hope hasn't opened the door to murderous PvP in the future.

It's game day, so without further ado, onto the art attacks and recap itself!

Inline images 1
- Andy graces us with a depiction of Captain Book's final bum-poking moments

Inline images 2
- Ollie shows us Andromeda's new branding

Inline images 3
- Tom depants one of Rake's many charitable art donations

Inline images 4
- Ollie shows us Captain Book's last living moment as the emotional surge from the mould completely overwhelms him

Inline images 5
- Ollie draws a dead horse, probably Bastard

Session 134 - No Country for Mould Men

Campaign Date:
Monday, 23 April, 1660
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Aries

18 Days - ZARAT

New Backstory:
- Rake ran away from his family home after denying his grandparents hardcore Denialist beliefs. He was brought back by force to be burnt as a heretic, but managed to escape. (+1 Strength)
- Andromeda Spiderbite wanted to live up to the legends of Auntie Lulu she'd heard as a child. She went into the forest to wrestle a bear with her bare hands. The bear would have killed her if her latent magical abilities hadn't manifested at that moment and put the bear to sleep. (+1 Strength)
- Nix Neckbiter had to prove her bravery, and heal old wounds. She returned to her family home after the evil Rasputin-type wizard had destroyed it from within, finding naught but ashes and dust. (+1 Strength)

Enemies Defeated:
- Several already-dead undead (0 exp)
- A friendly coach driver (0 exp)
- The kindly Bogwitch (0 exp)
- A helpful Golden Chirurgeon (0 exp)
- Captain Book, high and weeping (0 exp)
Total: 0 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Not much, except for a teapot or something.
Total: 0 exp

- 18 miles of travel (60 exp)
- 2 random encounters (40 exp)
- First party to enter the Poison Laboratory, however briefly (100 exp)
- Explored one dungeon room sorta kinda (20 exp)
- First party to enter the town of Helix (200 exp)
- First party to visit Moondin post-timeskip (500 exp)
Total: 920 exp

- Recovering on the banks of the river, the group decides to cross it and walk along on the barrows side. (50 exp)
- They pass a dead Necromancer, well-looted, and surrounded by already-dead zombies and stuff. Some zombie parts continue to writhe a little. (50 exp)
- Captain Book tries infesting a zombie head to no effect, while Andromeda puts a still-moving zombie hand under her hat for a scalp massage (50 exp)
- Cecil goes around smashing up the rest of the defeated Dead. Ez. (50 exp)
- Later in the day, the remains of a campsite are found. Snares and sprung traps surround the place, so it seems fairly recent. The party set up their own camp. (50 exp)
- Captain Book tries to sea shanty his way into a kiss. No takers. Thwarted, during his watch, he has his foul way with an animal. (50 exp)
- During Cecil's watch as the sun begins to rise, Cecil notices a defeated once-animated skeleton lying near the edge of camp, skull chopped in two. He smashes it. (50 exp)
- Blue John murders the horse that Captain Book infested last night. Gun to head. (50 exp)
- The party continue, heading past a Necromancer on the woods side and his undead retinue. They leave well enough alone. (50 exp)
- Finally, that afternoon, they come across a little pier and small warehouse! Better yet - a road leading from it! (50 exp)
- They loot the warehouse, finding a bunch of Necromancer supplies and clothes. Everything's got a sort of one-size-fits-all military feel. Bandoliers of Last Breath in metal tubes are taken and Rake dresses up as a 70s glam rock Necromancer. (50 exp)
- The door is slammed open and a sassy black stereotype walks in! Her voice seems to stick though so we roll with it. She introduces herself as Candycrush Bandicorn. (50 exp)
- She says she'll give the party a lift to the nearby town if they help her load the wagon. It seems she works for the trading company that supplies the town. (50 exp)
- The party accepts, frantic to find civilisation. Some hours later they arrive in the town of Helix, conveniently over-described. It's close to the Barrowmaze, an undead-themed megadungeon of some notoriety. (50 exp)
- The local church, "the Shrine of St Ygg", is visited. The priest seems lecherous and terribly stereotypical, making eyes at POWERLAD. Captain Book hints at buggery which is all but confirmed. (50 exp)
- The Brazen Strumpet, the local pub, is visited for rumours. It will later be discovered that the name is a reference to the infamous AD&D random harlot encounter table. (50 exp)
- The weird observatory tower is visited. The door is too high, and within is Mazzahs the Magnificent! Dickhead wizard! He invites Blue John in and they chat for a while. Seems he's too high level for Andromeda's Sleep Slap and when he tells Blue John to shoot him in the head he just spits out the bullet. (50 exp)
- They are suitably impressed! The wizard says he'll pay good money for any secrets the party can discover about the Barrowmaze, and may even teach Blue John some spells. What a nice guy! (50 exp)
- A quiet alarm sounds, Cleric detected nearby! Cecil Detect Evil's the tower and finds it drenched with chaotic energies. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD asks around about the bull head symbol on the crates - Candycrush informs that there's a couple of rival necromancer factions in the Barrowmaze. Her group is newer and uses an infinity symbol. (50 exp)
- He tries to seduce her to no avail, She laughs it off as youthful foolishness though. (50 exp)
- Deciding that they should head to a town to see what they can do about Captain Book and POWERLAD's disease, the party book a coach and pretty much fast travel there. (50 exp)
- On the way, the coach driver is mysteeeriously infested with mould. Blue John kills the driver and the body is dumped. (50 exp)
- It's party time for Cecil and Rake! They head to Moondin's large and well-organised red light district, while others ask around for a doctor. (50 exp)
- They are directed to the Bogwitch, who says she can heal their mould disease with some pretty horrid remedies. An alternative healer, the Golden Chirurgeon, is sought out instead. (50 exp)
- Rake knocks out the Bogwitch and Andromeda loots the body, grabbing a couple of bits and pieces. (50 exp)
- The Golden Chirurgeon has a strange gas mask and a long long robe that needs little animated hummingbirds to hold up the train. Very impressive. (50 exp)
- His methods are strange and arcane... but they work! POWERLAD is healed! (50 exp)
- Captain Book, while the Chirurgeon is distracted by healing POWERLAD, dives under the dude's robes with a mould chip on his finger... the surgeon's going to get shafted! (50 exp)
- It works flawlessly. While the Chirurgeon goes spinning off into his first mould trip, Book is overwhelmed by drug-wrought grief and breaks down sobbing beneath the voluminous robes. (50 exp)
- Blue John runs over to calm down Captain Book... with a bullet to the brain. Oh shit. Then he turns his other gun to the still-high Golden Chirurgeon and kills him too. (50 exp)
- Guards show up to investigate the gunshots... and catch Blue John with a literal smoking gun. He is promptly arrested. Nix, nearby, manages to blag her way out of having anything to do with this. (50 exp)
- Blue John pays a hefty bribe to get out of his punishment. Hooray! (50 exp)
- Carousing occurs! Most amusingly, POWERLAD! wakes up married! She's called Bertha, has a morbid sense of humour, wears glasses and blinks a lot. (50 exp)
- Nix wakes up in bed with a priest OOPS. He's got a bulbous nose and is utterly senile, so he doesn't even remember what happened! (50 exp)
- Blue John ends up back in jail and is forced to wear a Scold's Bridle. Hee hee. He magics it away as soon as convenient. (50 exp)
- Rake and Andromeda engage in a bit of philanthropy! Andromeda arms the prostitutes to sow some chaos, while Rake charitably donates to the brothels. Rake earns an excellent reputation in this town, while Andromeda gains the good favour of the Arch-Madam. (50 exp)
- We end on that, thank goodness we're back in civilisation! Next steps seem to be either one of two huge dungeons or sailing off to the new world in the hunt for El Dorado. Guess we'll see! (50 exp)
Total: 1900 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)- Anal Violation bonus (50 exp)- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)- Coitus boners (50 exp)- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)- First Against the Wall bonus (50 exp)- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)- Infamy bonus (50 exp)- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)- PETA bonus (50 exp)- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
Total: 900 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Henry / Blue John - 100 exp)
- Caller (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Will / Cecil - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Fraser, Andy, maybe others - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Andy, Ollie - 100 exp ea)
- First Time Art Attack! (Andy - 100 exp)
- Attacco D'Arte (Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Carousing! (All - varies)
- Philanthropy! (Rake, Andromeda - varies)- Mandatory Suicide bonus (Andy's next character - 500 exp)
- The mutated people of Barrowmaze guard wonderful treasures
- The Dead have been seen walking the Barrowmoor with increasing frequency
- The spirits of the Dead will not harm you if you leave an offering at each barrow.
- Runic tablets contain curses, but some contain information
- Barrowmaze is 4 levels deep
- Tomb-robbers recently returned with a silver chalice worth 666sp.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Captain Book, murdered in cold blood by Blue John after he started getting a little too infectious.

Exp Totals:
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 4 Cleric (Termaxian): 12149 (Level up at 14000)- Andy / Captain Book, Level 4 Specialist (Pirate): 9791 (Level up at 12000)
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 4 Barbarian: 10835 (Level up at 16000)- Henry / Blue John Goujon, Level 4 Magic-User: 10511 (Level up at 18000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 9540 (Level up at 18000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 9015 (Level up at 18000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 3 Fighter: 7803 (Level up at 8000)
- James, Raaf van Held, Level 2 Fighter: 2929 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +backstory!
- Andy / Andy's Next Character: +1165 exp

Absent or Retired:
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- Charles / ZARAT, Level 3 Ratman: 4739 (Level up at 6000)

- James / Sergei, Level 1 Specialist (Poisoner): 632 (Level up at 1500)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

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