Ten Foot Précis

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Session 55 - Danse Macabre

That went well! Although that poor puppy.
This is actually the first time anybody's killed somebody by fucking up First Aid, so good work Stabbington.

For all - Since Mr Burg was a proper classed character, his experience points can be "bought" by paying money for his funeral.

He had 2981 exp before he died and you can buy it up on a 1:1 silver-to-exp basis. It's basically consequence free Carousing!

Oli/Lulu said they were willing to cough up the whole sum, but I'll leave it to you guys to decide who's spending what.

For Alex - Turns out I got my moon phases wrong and you were meant to be weaker than normal, but oh well! My bad!

My game calendar has 30 day months to keep things easy, with Full Moon on the 30th which is game-tomorrow. You'll be at your very weakest then.

The florid description of your elf species is as follows:
Hollowback Ylfen: Fair to look upon from the front but weirdly hollow and cow-tailed behind. The Ylfen pass briefly unnoticed among humans seeking articles of spae-craft hidden among the detritus of decaying civilisation. To them, all magical trinkets are their province, to be purloined and returned to the barrows where they reign in solitude.

Your abilities start off as passive magic detection and buffs to your actual Detect Magic spell, but eventually you'll be able to copy wizard's spells as they cast them and refract their spells and stuff.

For Peggy - I forgot to tell you the limitation of your new Lorebond!

The ability: You may spend a day unveiling the secrets of a crafted object as though casting an Identify spell. This includes who made it, how, and why.

To unlock it you must: Break a magic weapon upon a forge. This takes a day and, of course, breaks the weapon forever.
The geas: You may not use weapons and armour that are not of the highest quality. If they are damaged you must repair them at the earliest opportunity. Any inferior weapons or armour that touch you or your equipment must be destroyed.

If you break the geas: Your body will turn to molten iron over the course of a week, starting from the inside. You will see it spreading within your orange-glowing veins and feel it creeping through your gut like liquid sunlight.

For the record, the one you had already gave you that badass sword that never breaks and counts as silver and cold iron.

The geas is: Any creature who touches the weapon must die by it.

If you break that: The weapon comes alive and kills the offending creature… then it turns on you.

Alright that's it from me, see you guys next week!

Session 55 - Danse Macabre

Campaign date:
Sunday, 29 September, 1549
Moon phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:

Temperion, a shepard whose magical sheep-based experiments led to the loss of his job... and most of his flock.

Arhnin, a leatherworker chased out of town when they found out he was an Elf, now looking to get some more leatherworking tools to start up his business anew. Great nose for magic.

Enemies defeated:

- 3 barely repaired skeletons, crushed while they chiseled at the floor (30 exp)

- 5 better armed skeletons, caused to dance with Joe Joe's flute then mostly picked off one at a time in a surprisingly efficient manner (125 exp)

- 3 "transformer skeleton" ant-shapes formed from several skeletons, generally crushed (150 exp)

- 5 zombies, handily despatched (125 exp)

Total: 430 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A wolf skin.

- 10 sets of historical maps and documents (2000 exp)

- 10 or so lead soldier figurines (30 exp)

- 1500 silver pieces-worth of miscellaneous grave goods (1500 exp)

- A black helm

- A black suit of armour with the reindeer-springing-before-fir-tree coat of arms on chest

- A black greataxe that drinks the light.

Total: 3530 exp

Exploration:

- 5 heretofore unknown dungeon areas explored (100 exp)

- 2 secret doors found (100 exp)

- 1 Wandering Monster rolled (20 exp)

Total: 220 exp

Events:

- Hung around town to buy stuff and meet new players, were told that you were DOOOOMED ALL DOOMED by the fortune teller lady (50 exp)
- Entered the Warrior's Tomb dungeon again, saw sign saying "Please let us sleeps love from skeletons". Crack in ground sniffed by Arhnin but it wasn't magic. (50 exp)
- Saw battered skeletons trying to free the statue, Joe Joe sends in wolf who falls in a hole and dies. others smash skeletons. (50 exp)
- Joe Joe climbs down and skins her pet wolf (50 exp)

- Entered dungeon proper, attack by skeletons forestalled by Joe Joe's flute skills. The skeletons dance instead of attacking. (50 exp)

- War Room entered, big map of country in centre along with maps and charts. Skeletons picked off by baiting one in, closing door, smashing, sweeping away bones, repeating. (50 exp)

- Last two skeletons are onto the trick. Bait party into hall where they are attacked by combination-skeleton ant things. The party prevail, especially due to Joe Joe's crack shooting, but not before Mr Burg is knocked out. Stabbington attempts to heal him but ends up murdering him gorily with a botched chest compression. (50 exp)

- Lulu finds secret door by pressing raised location of Fortress City Fate. Behind secret door, a room containing black armour and a black axe that reek of magic. All claimed by John Doe. (50 exp)

- Further exploration leads to a room containing a necromancer's notebook. This is the only room to show the Jingois hero fleeing a battle. Secret door leads back into main corridor. (50 exp)

- With skeletons dead, another room is inspected which is full of food and also sweet-smelling incense that gets you high. (50 exp)

- Zombies attack along with a sobbing Necromancer who remains unseen, particularly due to his use of a Darkness spell. (50 exp)

- Party eventually prevails despite lack of vision and mostly being really high. Temperion is attacked by a zombie and faints dramatically. Necromancer flees as his zombies are defeated. (50 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Misc:

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)

- PETA bonus (50 exp)

- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)

- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Temperion)

Total: 350 exp + bonus

Quests and Rumours:

- "YOU'RE DOOMED! YOU'RE ALL DOOMED!"

- but actually I forgot to let you roll for rumours this time whooooops

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Pat II, Joe Joe's beloved wolf. Fell down a pit trap to his doom... then she skinned him.

- Mr Burg, Peggy's long-lived henchman. Fell to an ant-shaped skeleton homunculus, chest crushed in by a botched First Aid attempt.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8779 (Level up at 16000)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 5581 (Level up at 8000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 3 Dwarf: 4800 (Level up at 8800)

*DING!* +1d10 HP! +new Lorebond!

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 2 Halfling: 3569 (Level up at 4000)

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 642 (Level up at 3000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Session 54 - Spooky Scary Skeletons

A fairly subdued session this week, due in part no doubt to my failing to confirm that it is, in fact, back on.

So it's back on, everybody!

Nevertheless! The gang, including new guy Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian from Alsace, delved into the mausoleum dungeon and basically missed every attack ever and got felt up by skeletons.

Good times, great classic misses. See you guys next week!

Session 54 - Spooky Scary Skeletons

Campaign date:
Sunday, 26 September, 1549
Moon phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:

Alphonse, Barbarian of Alsace and Wielder of Fruit.

Enemies defeated:

- That damn animated statue, baited down pit once more and stone beds dropped on its head. (250 exp)

- Five weirdly molesty skeletons, eventually smashed (250 exp)

- Four fucked up skeleton conglomerate things, fled from (0 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 600 old silver pieces (600 exp)

- An orange citrine (90sp)

- A red bloodstone (50 exp)

- An opaque red potion #151

- 4 jars of blood

- 2 jars of white powder

- 1 jar of something alcoholic

Total: 740 exp

Exploration:

- 3 heretofore unknown dungeon areas explored (60 exp)

Total: 60 exp

Events:

- Went back into mausoleum dungeon, discovered statue had gotten out of pit via newly made handholds (50 exp)

- Baited statue into pit again, statue's attempt to jump pit stymied by ten foot pole (50 exp)

- Inspected chests in a bedroom but bones animated and attacked (50 exp)
- A combination of terrible rolls, unsuitable weapons, and good armour ensured the battle was long but more or less bloodless (50 exp)

- Stone beds taken from room and piled on animated statue in hole (50 exp)

- Party leaves to lick wounds. Alphonse gets his fortune told - "the weather will change your life, twice" and gets info from alewife. Stabbington gives money away to people and finds out more information. Leo gets quietly drunk. (50 exp)

- Re-entered dungeon, found a room containing a large brass cauldron and took mysterious jarred substances nearby (50 exp)

- Checked out an old kitchen with a fireplace full of bones. Not much else, but bones rattled on party's exit. (50 exp)

- Decision is taken to smash bones before they reassemble, party runs in but is ambushed by vaguely insectoid skeletal conglomerate things on ceiling. They flee to fight another day. (50 exp)

Total: 450 exp

Misc:

- Fame of the Tomb Busters increased (50 exp)

- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)

- This is Madness! bonus (50 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Alphonse)

- Badass Backstory bonus (100 exp - Lulu Spiderbite in absentia)

Total: 150 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- "Something is killing jewel sellers in Gush! None of the victims are dwarfs, so you've got to wonder..."

- "That flood upstream of the Deeprush has washed a whole lot of weirdness downstream. Sea monsters, they say!"

- "If you've got caving gear and weapons, head to Muntburg to make a quick buck. The people going into Dwimmermount will buy anything!"

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today!

Exp Totals:

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 10460 (Level up at 14000)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 4939 (Level up at 8000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble table!

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8137 (Level up at 16000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 2 Halfling: 2927 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pad 2, Level 0 Wolf

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 18778 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2981 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 4158 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Session 53 - Tomb Raiders

I can't wait until you guys see the message that John Doe would have received. Although if the blood cart had been explained, maybe you never would have hung around to find the mysterious dungeon in the mausoleum.
I love that in the absence of monsters you totally just fabricated their existence. You are all still horrible people. And so I can look it up later - DEFCON stands for Deadly Evil Fiendish Carnivorous Ominous Nasties.

And man, you guys are shooting up the levels these days! Turns out robbing the pampered dead is highly lucrative.

Session 53 - Tomb Raiders

Campaign date:
Sunday, 22 September, 1549
Moon phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Virgo

Enemies defeated:

- Henry Graves the innocent but theatrical undertaker, throat torn out by wolf (0 exp)

- Sandra Graves his loving wife, leg chopped off then strangled (0 exp)

- An animated statue wielding two swords, baited into a pit trap (250 exp)

Total: 250 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 47sp, 54cp (53 exp)

- Engagement ring and old drafts of marriage proposal speech dated 1526 (60 exp)

- 174 thin jade tablets, each carved with a different face, worth 50sp ea. (8700 exp)

- Brass nose with etchings intended to guard against disease. (20 exp)

- Silver earring embossed with lion rampant over a fallen hawk. (250 exp)

- Scale mail (counts as chain) with shield-shaped icon on chest - an acorn in a crown (200 sp)

- Leather armour with surprisingly christmassy image painted on chest - reindeer in red leaping in front of a pine tree in green. (50 exp)

- Snakeskin boots with trim of unidentifiable black fur (50 exp)

- A brass sword (20 exp)

- 3 silver-tipped spears with mahogany shafts (600 exp)

- Rapier tingles when touched, flashes redly in torchlight (50 exp)

- Violet robe (400 exp)

Total: 10453 exp

Exploration:

- 25 miles of travel (80 exp)

- First party to enter Little Reaching (100 exp)

- First party to enter the Warrior's Mausoleum (100 exp)

- 1 secret door found (50 exp)

- 3 dungeon areas explored (60 exp)

Total: 390 exp

Events:

- Travelled to investigate rumours of zombies in Little Reaching (50 exp)
- Arrived to find a small village with a large graveyard, three large mausoleums (50 exp)

- Lulu and Stabbington had their fortunes told by Griselda the village mystic - "A rope will snap as music plays" and "A spherical object will make you laugh" respectively. (50 exp)

- Got info from townsfolk, bartered rights to a rundown house in exchange for getting rid of the zombie problem. Discovered carts carrying large amounts of blood being taken to suspected Necromancer in mountain cave. (50 exp)

- Joe Joe entertains crowd with wolf tricks. (50 exp)

- Met Harry Graves, the immediately suspicious and unhelpful undertaker with keys to the graveyard. (50 exp)

- Lulu and Stabbington try to kick his door down in full view of the townsfolk, fail, explain it away as "testing the door". They are believed. (50 exp)

- U the Monk tries to lever off the door's hinges in full view of townsfolk, lynch mob assuaged only by promise that party will take U away to be hanged. (50 exp)

- Plan is formed to get keys and fabricate evidence of zombies so that they can be "stopped". Lulu distracts villagers in the evening with partying, arm wrestling. (50 exp)

- Rest of party begins home invasion. Smoky interior leads to chaos. Stabbington chops off Harry's wife's leg thinking her a zombie. U tries to peg Stabbington thinking him a necromancer. Leo accidentally kicks hot coals everywhere. Lulu covers screams with increasingly loud shouting. (50 exp)
- Screams cause Harry to flee for help, Joe Joe's wolf rips his throat out. Sandra Graves hops to door, begins to scream for help, Joe Joe fires on her with her pistol, Stabbington chokes her out. (50 exp)

- Gunshot unmistakeable over noise of party. Villagers panic, try to check out what's happening. Lulu punches out the strongest guy in the village to intimidate them into stay inside until she's checked it's safe. (50 exp)
- Party grab keys, hurriedly try to make it look like a monster attack. (50 exp)

- Villagers soon run out, see party inspecting scene, thank them for chasing off monsters. Party "investigate" mausoleums, take everything not nailed down. Final mausoleum contains possible necromancer, party decide to lock the door and rouse lynch mob in morning. (50 exp)

- The next morning, the necromancer turns out to be a statue in a spookily fluttering cloak. More stuff is looted. Front of statue's base is found to be detachable, has a crawlway behind. (50 exp)

- Entered warrior dungeon, explored a couple of rooms before being chased out by an actual living statue. (50 exp)

Total: 800 exp

Misc:

- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)

- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)

- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)

- Asshole bonus (0 exp - U)

- Owed for mind-controlling a wolf last session (100 exp - Joe Joe)

Total: 400 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- "There is a third city between Edge and Dwarrow. It is called Orciny."

- "Strange dwarfs have been heading out of Dwimmermount and trying to join Muntburg society. They are hated by other Dwarfs."

- "Muntburg is under attack! Horrible giant spiders are swarming out of Dwimmermount to feast!"

- "There's been zombies seen in the hills around Little Reaching, those undead must've found a way under the river!"

- "Gates through the wall are gates to another place. If you climbed over the wall you'd reach a different place than through a gate."

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today!

Exp Totals:

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 9376 (Level up at 14000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 2 spell per day!

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8037 (Level up at 16000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Level Up table!

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 2 Fighter: 3855 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 on crit/fumble table!

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 2 Halfling: 2927 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to saves! +1 to Taming!

-- Pad 2, Level 0 Wolf

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 18778 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2981 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 4158 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Session 52 - Back to Civilisation

Finally a break from all the doom and gloom!

Big money big money means you can live like kings or waste it all on hookers and blow, your call.

If you're interested you can find a list of random stuff you can do with your money here

and for the equipment list I guess you'll just have to download the rulebook here.

Equipment starts on page 27.

For Oli - Titus totally had some money in the bank! Less death tax, Lulu's got a big 900 silver in there if/when she takes over the account.

For Dominic - How do you even explain your eyepatch to people? "Yea sorry I've got to keep this on because otherwise a horrible dwarf can see through my eye"?

For all - I also totally forgot to let you guys roll for rumours when you finally got back to civilisation, so I rolled up a few.

- "There was once a Dwarven fortress in the mountains near Pembrooktonshire, but it was destroyed by a dragon over a thousand years ago. It's true it's still there! They have to placate it every year!"
- "At Monk Hill their Moon Festival involves the sacrifice of children. It's barbaric!"

- "The Animal Arena is back in Edge! The Termaxians might be heathens, but damn can they put on a show."

Session 52 - Back to Civilisation

Campaign date:
Friday, 20 September, 1549
Moon phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:

- Joe Joe, a Halfling who has vowed to avenge her parents' deaths at the hands of a murderer. As the murderer escaped, they accidentally dropped a bracelet in a big pile of shit. They justifiably left it behind. Joe Joe dug through the pile to find the bracelet, and used her newfound skills to begin a career in gongfarming. Now she travels the world to find the one who killed her parents.

- "Sir" Stabbington Shanks, a Fighter and former nightwatchman who accidentally smacked the guard captain in the head one night, thinking him a criminal. You're a loose cannon, Stabbington! You're off the force!

Enemies defeated:

- Höolloch by Frosen, critted in a single shot from Lulu's hypertoxic crossbow bolts. (250 exp)

Total: 250 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A bunch of sacks perfectly sized for human heads (3 exp)

- A chain with grapple (20 exp)

- Three sets of handcuffs (30 exp)

- 22625sp, including profits from silk, ambergris, Starry Hrad's reward for proving there's no gold, and all the rest. Split 7 ways for about 50 gold each.

- Much equipment was bought on the return to town.

Total: 53 exp

Exploration:

- Up to 150 miles of travel (500 exp)

- First party to enter Clunge (hurr hurr) (100 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Events:

- Exited the pit, found corpse-puppet, went to see the Reed People refugees after the newt people took over their village (50 exp)

- Amazingly, Bob totally learnt the click-language of the Reed People when she was working on a slaving ship, strikes up conversation. (50 exp)

- The Reed People can't take back their village because their chieftains have lost their souls. Joe Joe "returns the soul" of one of the chieftains via mind control, chieftain leads Reed People in a glorious charge to retake the village. Newt people take one look and leg it. (50 exp)

- A bunch of jerks on top of the wall are seen through a spyglass. They wave, point at creepy Dwarf on canyon wall. Laugh. (50 exp)
- They yell down from the top of the wall when you're close enough. Have a conversation, they're jerks. They ask about a book. Suddenly Sir Stabbington Shanks is hit from behind by a weird bolt that gives his left eye a second pupil. They leave. (50 exp)

- The wall is climbed and the central breach is climbed down to get to a moored skiff. Halfway down one of the jerks yells from above not to steal his boat. Lulu crits him in the throat and he explodes into poison. (50 exp)

- Bob looks up at the dam as you sail away, sees Dwarf, puts two and two together - the creepy Dwarf can totally see through Stabbington's fucked up eye. Stabbington makes himself a mask to cover that eye, stares at his own balls for a while.

- Lulu rescues DeCosta's horse and skiff. Everyone heads to the Witch village, half the village is dead-eyed and staring from their roofs. Second skiff is given to the non-creepy villagers. How to kill the witch is debated at length, final decision: fuck that. (50 exp)

- Getting to Carrowmore is otherwise uneventful. Starry Hrad is grateful for your bag of iron pyrite, says it's totally great proof of lack of gold. Gives the 5000sp reward in a strongbox. (50 exp)
- Starving Carrowmore townsfolk buy a lot of livestock from the island from you. (50 exp)

- You sail to Gush and Bob meets her old mate Derek from her sailing days! Good bloke, Derek. (50 exp)

- Assets are liquidated and buying stuff ensues. Big money in the city! The party splits in two, one half to party, the other half to go to the bank. (50 exp)
- Party Animals head to Clunge and get wasted. Peggy wakes up with a clear head despite drinking the most, Lulu and Bob get into different kinds of sexy trouble. (50 exp)

- The Fiscally Responsible head to the bank in Edge by way of John Doe's mining business. He drops off his blood-powered mining machine and begins cooking up plans for a reliable supply of blood, possibly in a joint venture with Peggy. They get to Edge and deposit money in the bank. (50 exp)

Total: 700 exp

Misc:

- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Fame increased! (50 exp)

- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)

- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)

- Shopping Spree bonus (100 exp)

- OHKO'd Hooloch by Frosen (100 exp)

- Horrifying Realisation bonus (100 exp - Stabbington)

- Badass Backstory Bonus (100 exp - Joe Joe)

- Peggy Caroused! (1760 exp - Peggy)

- Lulu Caroused! (1320 exp - Lulu)

- Bob Caroused! (880 exp - Bob)

Total: 550 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- "The Animal Arena is back in Edge! The Termaxians might be heathens, but damn can they put on a show."

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today! Except for Sir Stabbington's weird eye thing.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 18778 (Level up at 35200)

*DING!* +1d10 HP! +1 Lorebond!

-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2981 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6917 (Level up at 7000)

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 3 Barbarian: 5578 (Level up at 8000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Level Up table!

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 4158 (Level up at 4400)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

*DING!* +1d12 HP!

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 1 Fighter: 1396 (Level up at 2000)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 1 Halfling: 368 (Level up at 2000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Nimrod / U, Level 1 Specialist (Monk): 828 (Level up at 1500)

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6649 (Level up at 7000)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Session 51 - Nothin' But A Good Time

Escape! Finally you're out of that horrible hole in the ground.

You'd think Fungonius of all people would be wary of meddling with poison, particularly a poison where "all of its organic and inorganic molecules re-orient to become horrifically deadly to the living, semi-living, animate, and un-dead" as soon as it touches our dimension.

But alas.

They didn't even mean to kill you, you know. They naively thought you were letting them out as promised.

For Leo and Liisa - your characters were saved! You owe Mariana/Aurora for that, she was the only one who thought to go save your bodies from the encroaching jaws of the giant.

For Oli - That giant wasn't even meant to be killable so good work doing the impossible. Lulu's new resistance to poison is super fitting! I'm sure Titus would be proud.

For Nimrod - Sorry for sorta forgetting you until the end there. At least you know where the pub is now!

For Hayley - So your first experience of the game was getting your nuts crushed against a wall and seeing a floppy giant's flaccid dong. WELCOME TO D&D.

For all - You know, every group I've run games for in this world has fucked it up somehow. This thing with the poison people emerging in a year might just be the terrible doom your group has unleashed!

Session 51 - Nothin' But A Good Time

Campaign date:
Wednesday, 10 September, 1549
Moon phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:

- Lulu Spiderbite, revealed to be a religious flagellant with a surprisingly deep backstory entwining Titus DeCosta's heretofore unknown past, lost love, a controlling parent, and heartbreak. I hereby instate the Badass Backstory Bonus.

- Bob, a pressganged Dwarven sailor that suffers from severe seasickness. Escaped with only his sword and his spyglass.

- U, a mysterious monk said to be able to understand any language, yet unable to speak.

Enemies defeated:

- The horrible giant, shanked in the foot with a crossbow bolt that had been converted into an ultimate ur-toxin from the elemental plane of poison. Exploded in a virulent cloud of toxic doom. Lule Spiderbite did not look at the explosion. (3000 exp)

Total: 3000 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A strange two-man mining machine that runs on fuels unknown. A variety of detachable tool heads available - breaker, pick hammer, core drill, cut-off saw. If you can discover what it runs on it would be extremely useful for a mining operation.

- Several trilobite shields and suits of chainmail-equivalent trilobite armour (800 exp)

- A quiver full of crossbow bolts so deadly that every inch of them is inimical to life itself. Even touching one with bare flesh means Save or Die. Hitting anything with one means they explode into a cloud of toxic horror, no save.

- Brought previously looted treasure to surface - silk, diamond-hearts, geode-eyes, heatproof ceramic.

Total: 800 exp

Exploration:

- Explored 4 new dungeon areas (80 exp)

Total: 80 exp

Events:

- The party begins in the room of the dead chemical ladies. Peggy Pigrider faints due to her player not being here, Leo remains unconscious, Aurora is woken up and heals herself. Bob the Dwarf and Lulu the Barbarian are awkwardly handwaved into the scene. (50 exp)

- A decoy is created by jamming Jack "Danger" Wilbur's corpse onto a spear. (50 exp)

- The room above is inspected, huge amorphous hand seen reaching in. (50 exp)
- Battle is joined! Horrific tortures involving fire and fingernails are enacted on the hand but it manages to crush Bob's groin against a wall. Despite a terrible cramping in the kidneys, Bob survives. (50 exp)

- The arrival of the other hand means everyone legs it back downwards. At least the decoy works - a horrible munching sound is heard as the giant devours Jack's speared torso. (50 exp)

- The group descend, find a shitload of old, crumbly wood. Utilise few bits of sharp non-crumbly wood to create a big spiky thing on a stick. (50 exp)

- Giant's make-tube-with-hand-at-top-of-ladder-hole trick is discovered and the big spiky thing thrust into the middle. Giant clenches hand shut, hurts palm terribly. (50 exp)

- Team jump to other side of stalactite, find room filled with neat boxes containing parts for multi-purpose mining machines. John Doe the Unlucky immediately grasps implications for his inherited business. (50 exp)

- Room above contains a whole heap of different spiralling shells from tiny to gigantic. Include armour and shields formed from trilobite shells sized for humans, exoskeletal moultings of humans, and other weird shit (50 exp)

- Room above contains sealed glass cylinder containing three strange green gaseous people with faces like malachite. They cycle through languages until they find one you speak. (50 exp)

- Giant is seen to be worming its way into the room of the chemical women, Aurora quickly runs back to grab unconscious bodies of Leo and Peggy before they're eaten (50 exp)

- Various people talk to the green gas people. Their names are Sarin, Myco and Xyclon and they are tox-men from the elemental plane of poison. They want to get out of this glass cage. Lulu gives them all her crossbow bolts to be converted into super-toxins, in exchange she will grant them freedom. They promise that if someone opens the hatch they'll wait around for a year before leaving the dungeon. (50 exp)

- All that can be seen in the burnt cloth room is the giant's foot as it worms deeper. Lulu jumps across using her flagellant rope as an Indiana Jones whip, jams a toxic bolt right into its sole, runs back. (50 exp)
- The giant's foot quickly necrotises, bulges, explodes in a chunky cloud of green fumes. (50 exp)

- The party begins climbing the chains, but Fungonius stays behind to make the tox-men toxify his sword. Proper protocols are not followed and the tox-men are released, accidentally converting Fungonius' equipment and entire body to an explosive cloud of toxic death. Last words: "Shit" and/or "Ah Shroom". (50 exp)

- The tox-men awkwardly wave goodbye to the party climbing up the chains, saying that they'll see them in a year. (50 exp)
- The survivors leave the dungeon, speaking briefly with a little girl peeking down from above. Upon reaching the top, the little girl is revealed to have been a puppet made from a corpse. The puppeteer is unknown. (50 exp)

Total: 850 exp

Misc:

- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)

- Leave a Man behind bonus (50 exp)
- Nutshot bonus (50 exp)

- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)

- Split the party bonus (50 exp)

- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)

- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

- Why Did You Touch That bonus (50 exp)

- Overkilled the Giant (100 exp)

- Badass Backstory bonus (100 exp - Lulu Spiderbite)

- Lonely Death bonus (200 exp - Dominic's next character)

- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Bob)

- Death's Witness bonus (100 exp - all who saw Fungonius explode)

Total: 650 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Fungonius, asked toxic beings from the elemental plane of poison to coat his blade in a poison so virulent that it can kill anything is touches, accidentally released said toxic beings and exploded in a cloud of poison so virulent it can kill everything it touches.

Exp Totals:

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 2 Barbarian: 3990 (Level up at 4000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 3890 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day!

Hayley / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 1028 (Level up at 2200)

Nimrod / U, Level 1 Specialist (Monk): 828 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic / (Dominic's next character), Level 1 ???: 1028 (Level up at ???)

Peggy's retainers:
-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2842 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 5 Cleric: 15788 (Level up at 28000) *Deceased*

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 16740 (Level up at 17600)

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6649 (Level up at 7000)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Thursday, 18 June 2015

Retrospective 5 - An Embarrassment of Riches

Players! So many of them!
After running a game involving TEN players, it became obvious that my greed in soaking up players had gone too far... something had to be done.

It was during this period that reliable, wonderful Renzo bowed out of the game due to numbers. Luckily a new arrival said he'd run a game and split the group for us, which was incredibly helpful.

Group splitting would become the go-to solution to large groups in future, usually after several weeks of dithering on my part.
Boom and bust, really.

Play-wise, we almost had a TPK! A yellow mould bomb, crafted by the players to absolutely murder every motherfucker in the room, worked perfectly. Unfortunately everyone was in said room, leading to an intense few minutes of working through the consequences bit by bit.

I remember it in vignettes.

Session 50 saw the first session of Lulu the Barbarian! Still in the game to this day (January 2017, but I don't want to jinx it) and current longest-running character, played by the indomitable Ollie. His original Cleric jumped off a cliff voluntarily, and Lulu's survived since.

Kyle begins his tradition of playing the relative of his dead Dwarfs around now too, which I've always enjoyed.

Also various rulesy things got used for the first time, like encounters per terrain (changed as a result) and various new shopkeeper things for the Fortress City.

Things get way easier from here on out, more confident about the game's prospects and waaay less worried about whether it would all fall apart. Looking back, it seems crazy that it took this long to go from the game's beginnings to a feeling of stability.
Should have joined the meetup earlier!

The relief I feel even looking back to this point in time is really fucking tangible. Man, catharsis.

Mini Reviews

Fortress-City Fate
My thing. Worked good. I flesh out the city any time players spend time there.

Mould Cathedral
Hey, they went back apparently! I used Raggi's Esoteric Creature Generator for a bunch of the monsters and it works very well. I actually kind of forgot about that, I should use it more often!

Stonehell
Extensively reskinned to "Brasshell" beneath the capital city of my campaign map, easy to use and generally really quite good. Enough has been said about this one really! A good classic-style megadungeon.

Stone Cyst of the Shroom Priests
They went back here too! Continued where they left off... then everyone in the expedition died due to a yellow mould bomb they'd created. Awesome.
Strimmer ants may be an extrapolation on whatever was there already... large ants with whirring grassy blades between each section of them anyway.

Dwimmermount
Megadungeons seem to be the theme of this time period! Probably as a way of dealing with so many players - it's just easier. They dwimmermount-kobold forces that previous delvers spent so long making peace with were all killed. So sad. This is why the demon spider rules the first level of Dwimmermount now, and a black sun rises in the blood red skies above.

Deep Carbon Observatory - Review here.
Loved it so much. So many good memories of this module. Read it a heap of times, it's more for reading even though if/when I run it again I'll be prepared to parse a lot of complexity in play.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Session 50 - Chemical Heart

In this week's session, our brave heroes defeated a carpet, smashed a flower, and shanked some babes. Heroes, I tell you.

For all - SO MUCH EXP! Ringadingdingding. Level ups inbound, but unfortunately this doesn't happen until you get the loot to a safe place (ie. out of the dungeon). You'll level up as soon as you find a place to sleep soundly.

I'm was in two minds about whether Fungonius and the new characters from the end of the session should get exp despite not experiencing that fight etc, so I rolled a die to decide.

Result - everyone at the table will gets a share of exp even if their character didn't necessarily see it all due to death or arriving late or leaving early or whatever. Less book-keeping for me, and that means the people with new characters get an instant level up this time. Hurrah!

Also for all - New policy: If the session ends in a dungeon or otherwise dangerous place, and you aren't here next session, your survival is dependent on your fellows lugging your limp body out of there. Your life is in their hands.

Session 50 - Chemical Heart

Campaign date:
Tuesday, 9 September, 1549
Moon phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:

- John Doe the Unlucky, a Dwarven Leatherworker hunting his brother for his inheritance. Found his brother's corpse. Guilt level - Middling to low.

- Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, an absolute beast with her bare hands. Prior profession as yet unknown.

Enemies defeated:

- Small army of marble statues on a ledge, stopped attacking when their ledge was left (0 exp)

- A tapestry knitted with living bones, burnt with flaming oil (500 exp)

- Ten strange chemical women, hacked and whacked (250 exp)

Total: 750 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A fair amount of a light, white, heat-resistant ceramic.

- Three bales of silk, thin and blue as the evening sky (1500 exp)

- Three bales of silk, rough to the touch and the colour of a stormy sky (3750 exp)

- One bale of silk, incredibly tough and black like bruises (5000 exp)

- Six whisper-thin drifting pieces of cloth, embroidered with spiders and each stained with a turin shroud face. (300 exp)

- 10 heart-diamonds from the chemical ladies (5000 exp)

- 20 eyes like broken geodes (1000 exp)

Total: 16550 exp

Exploration:

- First party to descend into the Pit (500 exp)

- Explored 8 dungeon areas (160 exp)

Total: 660 exp

Events:

- Travelled across the drained lake, gave candy to surviving People of the Reeds, forded river. (50 exp)

- Descended into the sun-soaked pit, wedged main door open with crowbar (50 exp)

- Emerged into tiered room with statues. Tried to topple statue of ledge, fled when they came to life. (50 exp)

- Huge cavern, huge wheeled machine with huge chains going down into darkness, lowered down DWARF to check out what's at the bottom. Many rooms are open to this main shaft. (50 exp)

- There is no bottom. DWARF jumps from chain going down to chain going up, ties himself on, is eaten by some sort of enormous bat creature. (50 exp)

- Forced open copper door in floor - discovered a giant set of scales that can weigh anything, including abstract concepts (50 exp)

- Descended, discovered opening to main shaft, swung across to room full of crates of fireproof ceramic (50 exp)

- Went up ladder to room with strange angular plants in glass jars. Leo broke one, nearly killing himself in the chemical explosion, dropped sword. (50 exp)

- Went back down, oh shit instead of the way back there's a weird carving of a horrible smiling face with its hand reaching out (50 exp)

-Went down to room with cloth all over the floor, bales of silk, and a tapestry on the wall surrounded by bones. (50 exp)

- Titus attempted to Turn the tapestry, ensuring it could not approach him. Aurora lobbed her labradoodle into its "mouth" and others lit it on fire before everyone escaped upwards with whatever silk bales they could grab. Room is on fire. (50 exp)

- Fluttering tissue-thin silk shrouds floating on the heated air obtained via fishing. The big smiling face is gone now. (50 exp)

- Leo climbs up to get his sword back, is nearly crushed by a giant stone hand but is TOO STRONK and escapes back down. No sword though. (50 exp)

- Descended further through cloth room, reached room with white, spiky, chemical ladies lounging around and saying weird shit. (50 exp)

- Chemical ladies tell Titus DeCosta that he can find a ton of treasure if he makes a leap of faith into the void. Titus makes a leap of faith, falls, smashes his face on a bridge on the way down. The chemical ladies giggle. (50 exp)

- Vengeance is taken and combat ensues. Results: Jack "Danger" Wilbur is dead. Leo is unconscious from self-inflicted head wounds. Aurora is unconscious. A pyrrhic victory. (50 exp)

- To the victor, the spoils. The chemical ladies are stripped for valuables, specifically their black diamond hearts and eyes like broken geodes. The party's future survival is uncertain (50 exp)

Total: 850 exp

Misc:

- AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)

- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- What Could possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (Aurora, Leo - 100 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (500 exp to Oli's next character)
- Lonely Death bonus (500 exp to Kyle's next character)
- Noble Sacrifice bonus (1000 exp to Renzo's next character)

Total: 400 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- DWARF, lowered into the infinite blackness beneath the earth, eaten by a giant bat.

- Aurora's labradoodle, killed by a doom tapestry
- Titus DeCosta, persuaded to jump to his doom by a skinny chemical woman.
- Jack "Danger" Wilbur, lower body frozen and hardened into dark stone by attacks of skinny chemical women, shattered into pieces.
- Leo, unconscious with chemical burns all over.
- Aurora, unconscious but otherwise unharmed.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 16740 (Level up at 17600)
-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2328 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!*+1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble rolls!

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 5 Cleric: 15788 (Level up at 28000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to Saves! +1 Level 2 Spell per day! +1 Level 3 Spell per day!

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6649 (Level up at 7000)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 2 Cleric: 2625 (Level up at 3500)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 1 Spell per day!

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 2 Barbarian: 2962 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian table!

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 2962 (Level up at 4400)

*DING!* +1d10 HP!

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

*DING!* +???

Kyle / Dwain William Arthus Remus Froide, Level 2 Dwarf: 2704 (Level up at 4400) *Deceased*

Oli / Titus DeCosta, Level 2 Cleric: 3004 (Level up at 3500) *Deceased*

Renzo / Jack "Danger" Wilbur, Level 1 Fighter: 739 (Level up at 2000) *Deceased*

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)