Tuesday, 24 January 2023

Session 333 - Vampire Feast

Date: 10 January, 22 p.p.

Moon: Waxing Gibbous - Dragon Face
Zenith: Vorn

New Backstory:
- Dorian fought with his "father", the Dharga, after first being budded off the great flesh-tree and discovering that he had a mind and will of his own. +1 Strength
- Grumblebelch was forcefully exiled from the Dwarven arcology of Ur-Kalladh for experimenting with forbidden rock art.
- Sydney was adored by a group of cultish street urchins who he did magic tricks for. Henchmen are immune to morale checks.


--- Carbonite Woman
- Another day, another waking up under the tender ministrations of the clanking, boiling, steaming robot mother.
-The Christmas events are over, and the robo-mum is willing to look after the various treasures from the Christmas adventure. How lovely!
- Looking over the Christmas loot, they remember that they also looted something the session before that! A big slab of stone with an eight-eyed lady frozen in it. Her ears are long and elaborate. There's a keypad on the side, but nobody knows how to use it. The robot TM-RLY is pretty useless.
- But wait! With an unfurled paperclip and a little reset port, the code can be reset! The carbonite fades away, dropping the tall Red Elf lady out of the frame... and into Dorian's claggy hands and charming Ditto-face.
- Jojo, it seems, speaks Red Elf! It's an archaic version of a variety of modern Elvish that Jojo learned in history class in the distant future... or something.
- The Elf, whose name is Kinny, gives Jojo the rundown on how she came to be here. Her planet was about to die, cracked like an egg from within by the birth/death spasms of the creature in the core as it spewed its fragments out across the cosmos. Ark-Ship Fate left without her and the others who lost the lottery, so she stowed away on another ship that was hoping to catch up and rendezvous with an ark. The captain found her and locked her away in carbonite. Also she has multiple vision modes and a penchant for knives.
- Jojo nods sagely.
- With that, and the Red Elf in tow, the party head off to the Church of the Unraveller where they can hopefully find a way down even deeper! Greasy tube, anyone?

--- Wampyre
- They head out of the fire robot zone, past the water robot zone, and into the next area. The floor is sticky with black strands which creep partway up the walls, gumming up the machinery. Kinny says it's too greasy for her grease-vision to see through.
- The corridor opens out into a big hall ahead, and there's a skinny side passage. Above, a vampire hangs from the ceiling and watches. He sees them looking and laughs, "bleh!".
- Celebus huffs a Last Breath and tries to enslave the vampire... but it's too powerful! The feedback gives Celebus the willies! The vampire just chuckles again.
- While the party questions the vampire on why he's here (they're all thralls of an ancient vampire) and what he knows about this part of the dungeon (Unravelled people aren't good eating), Grumblebelch wanders off to kick down some doors.
- He sees a room with an access hatch of some sort, and another with rolling balls with bugs in them like insects in amber.
- He tries the vent, squeezing down a thin crawlspace until he reaches a grille. Through it he sees a room, a bunch of robed cultist looking guys who must be the Unravelled... and a bunch of magic items and treasure!

--- A Feast Then Dessert
- Sydney has negotiated help from the vampire in exchange for creating a feast of blood for them with a spell! Very lovely!
- The vampire flits off and returns with a few of his friends, but soon more are showing up and supping from the various blood bags and blood canapes on offer. They mention that there are demon boars hiding in the hall next door, so watch out for them eh?
- They seem happy at first... but it soon becomes apparent that this feels like real blood but doesn't satisfy at all... their baleful gazes turn upon the party.
- Celebus runs into the next room and sees the demon boars begin to charge! He chucks a vial of blood at the lead one and casts Feast. All the vampires are driven to fury and CHARGE straight in! There are tides of viscera.
- Grumblebelch runs in, sees everything, and tells the party to follow him! Quick!
- Celebus and Dorian go knock on the big temple doors at the end of the hall, hopefully distracting the guards inside, and run back before the vampires stop feeding! The doors have a big inverted G symbol on them.

--- Webby Webby Good
- Grumblebelch is in the vent again, watching the priests mill about grabbing arms and armour. He sees their skin is kind of springy like a slinky. Unravelled, one assumes. Sadly, an obviously magic spear and an obviously magic suit of chain armour are donned by the foe.
- There is a huge giant guy squatting at the end of the guard room, and before Grumblebelly's eyes the guy thins out into a long thin snake and slithers out of the room. The other guards follow...
- Grumblebelch pops out of the vent with a loud *foonk* and lands on the floor, already jogging towards the treasure chest! But he is distracted on the way as he snags some arms and armour.
- While the others grab armour of their own, and Kinny puts away a surprising number of knives, Dorian reaches the chest and opens it up.
- There is a sound like a plunger going SHLOP and a black goop splats out! It grabs at Dorian with multiple hand-like appendages!
- Grumblebelch smashes the pipes leading into the chest from behind, cutting off the glop supply and shucking the gloop from its treasure chest shell! It's clearly got a bunch of treasure embedded in it, so this isn't all bad!
- Dorian pours on some acid and Jojo casts Web on the door, then Sydney follows up by scraping the clinging glorp off of Dorian and chucking it at the webs so it sticks there and can be easily killed!

The Trappees Become the Trappers
- They decide to ambush the baddies, so Jojo and Sydney get a swinging log trap set up with various stuff from around the room.
- A monk returns, suspicious of all the banging around, and is ragdolled back by the swinging log trap! Nice!
- The monks who run in next are stabbed from the side by Celebus and Dorian!
- Jojo casts Web again, limiting the ingress from unravelled monks!
- Basically monks get webbed then stabbed to fuck by whoever's nearby.
- Kinny the Red Elf keeps being weird about knives and pretending she'll betray you then not doing it. Odd vibes.
- One of the monks has the magic spear they saw before, all fancy inlay and a strange dual spear side-by-side design. The unravelled dwarf-monk wielding it gains an extra spear and extra hands with every attack!
- It is well and truly late at this point so it's a classic Combat Cliffhanger!

Total: 6000 exp

Enemies Overcome:
- At least a few demon boars (500 exp)
- Some Unravelled dwarf guys (500 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

- A gold blender (5000 exp)
- 2 sparkling gems (2000 exp)
- 2000 coins with the inverted G (2000 exp)
Total: 9000 exp

Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 102302 (Level up at 128000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 7 Inheritor: 78411 (Level up at 144000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 7 Necromancer: 72509 (Level up at 144000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! +Backstory!
- Carter / Sydney, Level 5 Magic-User: 23724 (Level up at 36000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 14422 (Level up at 18000)
- Tom / Grumblebelch, Level 4 Dwarf: 8273 (Level up at 16000)
Level Up! +1d10 HP! +2 to Saves! +Lorebond! +Backstory!

Tuesday, 17 January 2023

Session 332 - Descent into the Winter Wonderland

Date: 10 January, 22 p.p.

Moon: Waxing Crescent - Dragon Face
Zenith: Minerva

New Backstory:
- Sydney sold bad drugs to the gullible when he lived on the streets, scraping together enough obols to learn some dodgy magic from a similarly dodgy wizard. (+1 when you repeat a successful action)


--- Christmas!
- It's a rather belated Christmas special! Swan the Swift, Celebus, Sydney, and Dorian "Ditto" DeMone are joined surprisingly by a certain skinless entity known as Voidshaft who tends to show up for Christmas specials.
- In the warm red gloom of the robo-mother's nursery, everything freezes and fades to black, then spins back together to reveal Gifflewim himself! Swan grimaces with concern.
- But no he's not here to infect everyone with the Idea of Thorns, he's here for a Christmas Special! He gives them a quest - to find presents for him! He does apologise though, he set this up in time for Christmas and it's a few weeks later so the attractions aren't quite so fresh.
- Something he wants, something he needs, something to wear, and something to read. Then he gives out maps and lets our heroes loose on... Hyde Park's famous and famously ok Winter Wonderland!

--- Gold Gate
- They choose to enter via the gold gate, and Gifflewim grants them ten ride tickets each! That's sure to be good for like one ride at least probably right?
- Their first sight is the very instagrammable Lumieres - big lit-up arches. Tree people are taking pictures on cameras that are basically a bird on a perch painting a very small canvas.
- Also milling about are crowds of half-invisible frost people, going about their business seeing the sights and going on the rides.
- Voidshaft is stoked to go on the Snow Jet and runs over, trying to get the attendant to give him a free ride despite his tickets. The attendant says he'll do it for some food from the street food village, because he's hungry.
- They head straight there! On the way they peek into the Travellers Rest which has stale mince pies, lukewarm mulled wine, and is generally a safe zone if they need to rest.

--- The Ice Bar
- They are distracted by the Ice Bar that's on the way to the market. Peeking in, they get a waft of eye-stinging pollen from a crowd of tree people covered in buds. They're all being rowdy, wearing padded jackets, and standing around the bar made of real ice drinking real Jägermeister out of real ice glasses.
- Sydney, who has recently acquired a spell that kills plant life, is tempted to kill every last tree person in this entire zone. This is because the tree people are being annoying to a waitress.
- The threat of mass herbicide makes the waitress very scared, and she persuades the party to leave by giving them branded Jagermeister jackets.

--- Guards! Guards!
- They finally get to the street food market and, wouldn't you know it, Jager seems to be a sponsor. Swan barges into the Jagermeister stall, throws the attendant out, and the party begin looting! Notably Celebus grabs a novelty enormous Jagermeister bottle that he reckons Gifflewim is gonna love.
- Security show up and are comically disabled by the party with flammable jaegermeister, Sydney's slippery slime, a crossbow bolt that makes one of them have their trousers fall down, and another crossbow bolt to the back of the shirt to the other guy who keeps getting comically trottered by the suckling pig at the next food stall over.
- The guards give up, they're basically forced to be here so they're really not committed to keeping the peace.
- With the tickets from the Jager stall's cash register, they buy some baps from a nearby stall. Food bonuses happen!

--- Santa's Grotto
- They really need to think about gifts, so they have the bright idea to go to Santa's Grotto to see if they can find a list of presents for Gifflewim.
- Inside, Santa's been murdered! The Elves in attendance (real Elves, even) say that he was murdered by a huge Christmas tree! Also apparently throwing the Christmas tree out would be a good present for Gifflewim, who hasn't done it yet even though it's quite a bit past Christmas.
- They check the naughty list and Gifflewim is on both sides. Interesting. Present ideas for things he wants are books, plants, flowers, maybe a megaphone so he can project the Idea of Thorns far and wide.
- There are also presents behind Santa! Hooray!
- Suddenly there is a stamping outside. The Christmas Tree is here! Oh no! Voidshaft investigates and is pulled to safety just in time as a huge tree limb smashes down on him!
- Swan activates his giant flaming dagger and slices off a limb, and battle is joined!
 - The tree backs up, is followed by Voidshaft, Swan and Celebus, and body-slams them! The fires burn, the thorns tear, and baubles shatter.
- Voidshaft attempts a last brave attack. He slams his morningstar onto the creature's chest, stoving it in, then falls onto the spiky remnants of the tree. His blood runs down the thorns, dripping across novelty ornaments and hanging nutcrackers... and dies,
- The Elves, grateful for the party's sacrifice, grants them the Shield of International Day Of, which protects against whatever this irl day is allegedly the international day of.

--- More Presents!
- They dart off towards the haunted house as Tom rolls up a new character. The Necromancers running the place are outside, a bit bored, designing new skeletons.
- The party head in, finding a spooky Dracula animatronic! Swan kills it, and the team loot the old books that were being used as set dressing. Gifflewim presents! Perfect!
- They hoof it to the Christmas Market, passing by Gifflewim who is observing this huge orrery thing which is binding game timescales to real world timescales.
- But then they notice Jimmy's Popup on the map. Gifflewim mentions that some guy called James Young is there, and they've just got to go.

--- How Meta is Too Meta?
- It's me! But actual me from this world, talking to the player's characters in their world, pretending to be in their world while the players pretend to be their characters in their world talking to me in their world while I'm in my world and they're not but their characters are and I'm there and here but really there until I duck under the table, pop back up, and declare I'm in the real world now while my players pretend to be shocked that I've somehow returned.
- It was great!

--- Even More Presents!
- They head to the Christmas Market and find it devastated by vines. A garden gate looms open, an entry into the Gardens of Ynn. There's still some stuff though, which they loot! 
- New character Grumblebelch the Dwarf shows up and is immediately trusted by all. He finds a horned helmet!
- Celebus finds a nice Poinsettia. Beautiful!
- Swan grabs some skis from a festive display. Nice!
- Dorian finds a big novelty Bulbasaur from a duck hooking stand. Bulba-zaaaur!
- Sydney finds a cursed snowglobe that contains another reality. OooOOoOOo!
- They briefly consider checking out the Magical Ice Kingdom which is melting and contains a big sapphire guarded by melting snow golems, but it's near the end of the session so maybe not.

--- Does Gifflewim Like His Presents though!?
- It's time to see if Gifflewim likes his presents!
- Celebus tries gifting the big Jagermeister bottle, but Gifflewim doesn't really like it because he's had too much of the stuff due to recent sponsorship.
- Swan offers a shrieking mushroom in a soundproof jar. He loves it! It's just what he wanted!
- Dorian hands over a piece of the dead christmas tree and a leafblower gun they found on Voidshaft's body. It's just what he needed!
- After initial concern re: Jagermeister, a group gift of a Jager-branded puffer jacket makes him feel like one of the gang. He's gonna to wear it!
- After some deliberation he's gifted a book about Halfling Mind Control. He can't wait to read it!
- He gives the party a golden statue worth a cracking 10k obols, thanks them profusely, and lets them finally leave the Winter Wonderland! What an adventure!

Total: 10000 exp

Enemies Overcome:
- A couple of guards (20 exp)
- An angry Christmas Tree (500 exp)
Total: 520 exp

Valuables Liberated:
- 100 obols in ride tickets (100 exp)
- 5 Jägermeister-branded padded jackets
- Handle to a sick ice sword that melted (100 exp)
- Cash register ticket contents (1700 exp)
- Self-writing biography of Sydney
- Morningstar of Ridiculous Wounding
- Goblin Key which locks any door
- Waxy lip cosmetic that creates a mouth wherever you kiss
- Generic Christmas tat (10 exp)
- The Shield of International Day Of
- Book #114: Origins of Nonanism (100 exp)
- Book #117: Education in the Pre-Apocalypse (100 exp)
- Book # 226: Lost Technology of the Halflings (100 exp)
- Book #135: Poisons (100 exp)
- Book #213: On Werewolves (100 exp)
- Golden statuette of James Young (5000 exp)
- Antler Helmet
- Giant Bulbasaur Plushie
- Cursed Snowglobe
- Thorny Poinsettia and some loose bulbs
- Skis
- Anatomically correct statuette of Gifflewim (10 000 exp)
Total: 17 510 exp

Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 99635 (Level up at 128000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 7 Inheritor: 75744 (Level up at 144000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Mutation Limit! +1 Meat Point! +Backstory!
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 69842 (Level up at 72000)
- Carter / Sydney, Level 5 Magic-User: 21057 (Level up at 36000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 free spell! +1 Mana! +Backstory!
- Tom / Grumblebelch, Level 3 Dwarf: 5606 (Level up at 8000)
Level Up! +1d10 HP! +Lorebond! +2 to Saves! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d10 HP! +Lorebond! +Backstory!

Tuesday, 10 January 2023

Session 331 - Leech Life

Date: 22 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: Waxing Crescent
Zenith: Minerva


--- Leaving Mummy
- The party are in the bowels of Fortress-City Fate amid the clanking red-lit brass and hissing steam, being fed and watered by a huge metal mum. They are in the zone where the big fire robots live, beings who say their original role was to make sure the recycling of molten metal into new parts kept running. They would also be the ones to 
oversee the burning of the world if it was unfit for habitation by those who first sent Fate away from their doomed planet, but that's by the by.
- Now they're all about the dinner parties though, and looking after the giant robot babies they've made for whatever reason. They've been here a very very long time.
- Since the mother has a very troubling voice, they ask the robo-father questions instead. Questions about the remnants of Shub-Niggurath down on the lowest levels, about the dangerous repair droids that could fix the huge hole blown in Fate's innards, and whether turning Fate mainframe off and on again would do anything bad to the charming robo-family.
- The answer: off across the bridge over the molten river to the west, turning the repair drones on would probably mean them fixing everything back to factory settings which would be bad for the people who've started living in Fate in the mean time, and no idea what resetting the mainframe would do. Also did you know that there are some terraforming robot lizards to the south that haven't become self-aware like the robo-family?

--- Flaming Armoury
- The party likes the idea of terrifying fire lizards, so they follow the robo-dad south in case he needs to intercede with his more dangerous cousins. They go through a room with huge flaming weapons! Dorian and Swan grab "daggers" as big as greatswords, and Sydney takes a shortspear as long as a halberd. Neat!
- They peek through the door to the next area and see three huge mechanical fire dogs which immediately turn and charge! The robo-dad says they won't listen to reason because they have animal intelligence, and the party shut the door in a hurry. It seems the flame dogs burn the world and the lizards terraform it back to liveable conditions. In any case, it's all dangerous!
- With a general "fuck that for a game of soldiers" attitude the party about-face and decide to go towards the Unraveller temple that leads, with any luck, towards the fabled Shub-Wizardwrath.

--- The Quenched
- There is a waterfall pouring down the entrance into the next area, and the robo-dad tells the party that this was originally to make sure that he and the other world-burning robots can't escape. These days it protects his kids from the Unravelled or the Vampires that might otherwise invade his home.
- Beyond the waterfall are other robots called The Quenched, but if the party tells them that they're friends of the fire robots they'll probably grant passage.
- There is some shenanigans trying to get the fire weapons past the waterfall, but it works!
- The Quenched are tall thin robots with water wheels spinning in their chests. They're friendly enough when told that the party is friendly, and have a sort of monk-like demeanour as they sit under the waterfalls to recharge their water wheel batteries. There is a flooded corridor with swift-flowing water, and they say there is treasure down that way...

--- Treasure You Say?i
- Treasure! Why not! Considering the water is rapid and speeds towards the molten metal river beyond, more shenanigans are afoot! Dorian shlorps into the meta-meat necklace, storing himself within, and is tied to a rope and bucket so he can survey they depths from his tiny submersible and help with trawling.
- Down there no obvious treasure... but in the clear and swift-running water he spots an arm-length leech shlooping along the bottom! Water breathing here we come!
- He glorps out of the necklace, lets the water pull him towards the leech, bites down hard... and is horrifies when it unfolds into a grim parody of a man-shape, all writhing leech-limbs topped with sucking leech-mouths! He's bitten off more than he can chew!
- Swan, seeing the splashing water, loops his belt to the rope and dives in to help!
- Dorian wrist-spurs the leech, but is forced to grab for the rope so he doesn't get dragged further down the corridor pipe!
- The leech-being has multiple mouths and thus multiple slurping attacks!! Swan and Dorian are being drained by an increasingly fat leech-man!
- Sydney enlists the help of the Quenched, who all begin hauling on the rope to bring them onto the relative safety of the slick wet metal grating in the main room. Swan flails, detaching the mouths from himself and Dorian!
- Dorian whacks it with his morningstar and they both scramble onto dryish land...
- A beat.
- One of the sucking tendril-mouths bursts from the water and drags Dorian in again! Oh no!
- There is much splashing and flailing and even the Quenched have their mechanical hands to their mechanical mouths in mechanical horror.
- The water goes quiet.
- And surging from the depths, leech-mouths growing on his palms like the most horrible stigmata, Dorian emerges victorious! He belches and licks the last bits of slimy leech-meat from his fingers. Water-breathing here we come!

--- The Mummy Returns
- Victorious but in great pain, the party return to the robo-mummy to get their booboos kissed better.
- Swan reads his book on vampires while they're resting - apparently the local vampire around here is an ancient one named Mot who once commanded a Eurasian horde of vampires in some antediluvian age, and is more of your classic feral monster vampire compared to the comparatively refined ones up at Castle Death Frost.
- Sydney reads about demon masks and finds that you can combine them with certain reagents, which he finds very intriguing.

--- Back in the Pipe
- Restored by the maternal ministrations, it's time to try again on this whole treasure thing!
- Dorian attaches the metameat necklace to the rope, holds it in his teeth in case he needs to emergency swallow the thing, and goes for a swim. The others follow, and there are no leech-men this time thank goodness. Using various rails and handholds, they reach the end of their 50' rope, reattach it further down, and walk their way down the swift stream... a little bit like the way a leech walks now I think about it.
- There's a room up some stairs, so out of the water! Lovely. Swan and Sydney investigate, finding a room set with tea lights and with scratches on the floor near a wall like there's a secret door!
- They're so excited that they don't notice the pressure plate. The tea lights WHOOSH up with a great burst of flame, and Sydney is sent flying back into the rushing water!
- Luckily Dorian is there to catch him, so he doesn't die! Swan tanks the damage and, very singed, investigates the room itself. There's a very damp sofa and a coffee table, upon which is a metal-spined book! It's a pristine copy of POWERLAD: Enticed by the East!
- Dorian swims into a submerged chamber and finds a hell of a trove! Softly glowing axlotl-ish filter feeders sway in the current, an eight-eyed pointy-eared woman locked in legally distinct carbonite... and a big pile of gems!
- Dorian scrapes the gems into a bucket, ties the lady-statue to the rope, and they haul the lot out of there! Worthwhile excursion!

Total: 7000 exp

Enemies Overcome:
- A horrible leech-man (250 exp)
Total: 250 exp

Valuables Liberated:
- 2 furnace daggers (greatswords)
- 1 furnace spear (halberd)
- Metal book copy of #355 POWERLAD: Enticed by the East (100 exp)
- Big pile of mixed gems (33 000 exp)
- Carbonite-frozen lady
Total: 33100 exp

Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 94029 (Level up at 128000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 70138 (Level up at 72000)
- Carter / Sydney, Level 4 Magic-User: 15451 (Level up at 18000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +2 to Saves! +Free Spell! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +2 to Saves! +Free Spell! +Backstory!

Tuesday, 8 November 2022

Session 330 - The Rapid Birth of Porcini

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva

New Backstory:
- Ian Brown greatly disappointed his tribe who foreswear weapons by wielding a narwhal tusk for longer than a single spur-of-the-moment attack. Each session you can cause yourself to automatically pass an attack, a save and/or a skill check. Once each. You get -2 to that type of roll for the rest of the session.


--- A Tremendous Surfeit of Lore
- They are many levels down, at the bottom of a crevasse blown through the insides of the great machine that is Fortress-City Fate. The walls of the chasm above glimmer with blue lights, red imp-bulbs, and the occasional shower of sparks.
- Down here, though, there is a fungal garden. Soggy soil veined with pale green mycelium, huge bulbous mushrooms oozing pale liquid, a carpet of little mushrooms that mutter quietly in tiny voices, and strange low many-limbed trees that look like they're made of compressed people turned to pale wood.
- In this strange place we find Ian Brown - Mancunian Barbarian, Swan the Swift - Ancient Warrior, Dorian de Mone - Demon Shapeshifter, and their trusty robot companion TM-RLY.
- Ian Brown picks a mushroom... and it squeals! Under the cap it's got a little goblin face, and it cries "muuuurderrrr" in a little voice before dying. Ian eats it.
- He gets a bit of a stomach cramp... and is that the sound of faint giggling?
- Dorian approaches one of the squat trees and prods at it. A portion of the trunk of the trees moves and resolves into a face! It's an old, old goblin face, weathered into a sort of shrivelled-potato bark... and it talks!
- The first thing it does in its old old croaky voice is congratulate Ian on his goblin pregnancy. It's been some time since he's seen someone carrying a Tummy Gobbler to term! Perturbed, Ian asks how it will be born, and is told "well there are only two ways out"
- It seems that this goblin and his fellows who make up the tree are here to filter and lightly carbonate the various goops, oozes, and byproducts of the great machine into the fizzy water in the pool in the centre of the vast chamber. Ian tries some and it's pretty nice!
- While the explosion that revealed them to the upper levels was fairly recent, they have been here for long centuries, since before the Goblins were forced underground...
- Yes it seems that in common year 1989, some centuries after the Dwarves first saved Humans from Halfling rule, the Goblins were forced underground by the Dwarves of that era. This tree-Goblin fled the city of Gabalagoo with his brethren, where they eventually made their home within machinery below the golden city of Fate.
- Swan is fascinated, but the others want to move on so he promises to return and ask for more lore!
- The last thing the goblin tree tells them is that the double-doors gate to the south rarely opens, but when it does he always sees some big guys and little guys coming out, and they always jump over something just past the entrance.

--- Ian Brown Gets Shanked By a Tiny Bastard
- Ian Brown kicks open the door! He eats a mushroom (not the floor ones, the beer brewing ones from above) and hears a little "yay thanks!" from his belly. He himself doesn't get any nutrition of course.
- Swan picks some little screaming mushrooms from the ground and lobs them towards the inside of the door. It was a trap! Metal plates pulled from the walls swing down on greasy chains, killing nobody.
- The party hides as a way-too-big Dwarf and an even-smaller-than-a-normal-Dwarf Dwarf come to investigate their trap going off. A pile of mushrooms, is it?
- They are suspicious, so Ian runs in to attack the smaller Dwarf! The small one speaks English, while the big one only speaks Ur-Kalladh. Swan and Dorian dash in to deal with the big one!
- Swan is struck by a big stone-embedded fist of the big Dwarf. It looks like stone has been driven between its knuckles, and the knuckles themselves are partially stone!
- The small one crits, gets a Combo result, and shanks and shanks and shanks and shanks and
- Ian reaches 0HP and flies into a Barbarian Rage!
- The small one shanks and shanks and shanks and
- Ian grabs the small one around the head, trying to drive his thumbs into the little fuckers' eyes and
- The small one shanks and shanks and shanks and
- The knife goes into Ian's wrist and twists and tears and it's hanging by tendons but he can't feel the pain through the rage and
- Dorian hammers the big one with a splattery ridiculous wound with his Mace of Ridiculous Wounding, causing the big Dwarf to laugh at the absurdity, which gives Swan the opening to cleave upwards and bisect the big bastard. The Dwarf falls in both directions, revealing the mess of clockwork and stone inside him, and
- Dorian turns to see Ian holding the small one by the neck with one hand, blood pumping from the stump of his forearm, face contorted with rage... and pops out his mantis wrist-spurs. Dorian plunges the spurs into the little one's back from behind, finally killing the little bastard. Even in death, it won't let go of the knife.

--- Ian Brown's Last Hurrah
- Raging and, somewhere in the back of his mind, knowing that if he stops raging he will die, Ian Brown shoves his good hand into his stomach, breaks through skin and muscle and organ wall, and tears something green and goopy from within! Hescreams to high heaven and sprints down the corridor and into the next room, blood pouring from his arm and torso, narwhal tusk in hand!
- He leaps over some crude ninepins, skids past a couple of smooth stone bowling balls, and slides down a smooth bowling lane towards three huge Dwarf guys!
- He skids on his own blood, slips into the huge outstretched hand of one of the big lumbering guys, and it smashes him to the ground breaking every single bone in his body, then stamps on him for good measure.
- Ian Brown opens his eyes. His body is whole again, and the world is all grey and wavy. A very confused valkyrie holds out her hand to him and pulls him to his feet and they float off to Valhalla...

--- Aftermath
- "What the heeellll was that?" says one of the small Dwarves who had been watching the bowling from the sidelines.
- It jumps up and runs out the door from whence the mad bloody Barbarian came, slipping slightly on the fresh blood. At the crossroads, near the door that leads to the screaming mushroom garden, it sees a sloppy clay-like being, a hale and hearty ancient warrior, and a very small slimy mushroom-headed Goblin that is crying like a newborn baby, all standing amongst the bloody remains of its good friends Blorbo and Stabbo.
- "Did you guys just see that?!"

--- Confusion
- For their part Swan and Dorian and their newborn goblin pretend they had nothing to do with it. Some mad Barbarian charged past, killed the two dead Dwarves you see here, and ran screaming into the next room!
- The rest of the Dwarves from the bowling room turn up and begin to weep. The party asks for directions to the stairs and the begrieved Dwarves point them in the right direction.
- The party hurry away before anybody questions it, into a room containing... more huge Dwarves who are making modifications to other huge Dwarves. Moving swiftly on!
- These, however, are not so easily tricked! They give chase, catch up to our heroes... and are befuddled by Swan's sign language for "walk down these stairs".
- While they discuss in their deep Ur-Kalladh voices, the party slips down the stairs...

--- An Unfortunately Cooked Swan
- They skid down the stairs and come to a smaller room, warm, with the sound of pistons hissing. The floor is crusty and bubbly.
- The Goblin newborn speaks! So swiftly do Goblins gain their voice! He has decided that his name is Porcini. Everyone says "awww" including TM-RLY who transforms into perambulator mode. The accoutrements of a Cheesemonger are claimed by Porcini from a nearby blackened corpse.
- This does unfortunately distract from the fact that this hot room with its hot crusty floor is a trap room...
- Swan steps forward, breaks through the black crust, and into the molten metal beneath! He steps back without significant wounds, but took a hell of a lot of HP damage.
- Dorian has a plan. Swan schlorps into a meat necklace and goes around Dorians neck, while Dorian picks up TM-RLY (who is holding Porcini) and activates his heat resistance gained from a candle guard back in the Dharga.
- It works! They cross the room!

--- Creche of the Flame
- The next room contains... giant robot babies. Their breath shimmers with a heat haze, and they occasionally burp flames. They say "goo goo ga ga" in robot voices.
- They do, however, speak. Their mother, the fire robot Alpha Prime, is in the next room. They are to be quiet.
- Dorian tries the other door that doesn't lead to robo-mum. Inside... a bed with a quietly snoring fire robot, and  the robotic snuffing sound of fire-breathing robot dogs! Swan emerges from the necklace, takes a wrench from his Specialist Tools, heats it up and throws it to the dogs like a red hot bone. It works!

--- Curse of the Fire Child
- The next room has a bowl of very very beautiful fire burning in a big wide bowl. Swan and Dorian feel the desire to stare into the flames, but resist. Porcini however...
- Swan listens at one of the double doors out, keeping his ear away from the hot metal, and hears the clatter of bowls and spirited conversation. Dorian peeks out the other double doors  and sees a big metal bridge that swings out across a moat of molten golden metal. He turns to tell the others and grabs Porcini from the ground before he gets to the fire. Bad baby! Good parenting!
- Porcini whimpers sadly because he cannot touch the fire. TM-RLY apologises for not noticing that the baby was gone... and also remarks that its insides feel weird now. Like the baby's been tinkering in there or something?

--- Those Who Guard the Molten River
- They thank the robot and... hey what where did that baby go?! They hear a cry from the bridge and see Porcini crying at his singed hand while he tried to sneak across!
- On the other side of the bridge, a huge broad-shouldered bepauldroned robot stands up from one of two metal armchairs that face away from the bridge! A fire burns in a furnace in its chest, and its voice booms out - "Is that a little baby?!"
- Porcini replies in his little Goblin voice, flabbergasting the robot. Another robot leans around its armchair and says - "Is that baby talking to you?!"
- The two huge robots advance cautiously, while Swan, Dorian and an apologetic TM-RLY come over from the other side. They have a nice chat!
- The repair robots that the party is looking for are probably the bastard robots one level up, trapped in a maintenance annex because their responsibility is to fully repair Fortress-City Fate and that would mean repairing everything and removing all foreign bodies, which would be a pity because there's not much that's original spec in here these days. Hell, these robots used to be mindless droids that stoked the furnaces and recycled broken parts into new ones before eventually gaining sentience and getting weird with it.
- They're guarding the entrance from the next area, which they call the Temple of the Unraveller. It's full of beings who call themselves the Unravelled, and they're bad news. The Unravelled worship a being on the next level down, a horrid amalgamation of the last scummy bits of Shub-Niggurath that were caught in the grinding maw on the bottom of Fortress-City Fate and never cleaned out... and a wizard who was foolish enough to think that merging with Shub-Niggurath was possible or wise. The guards call it... Shub-Wizardwrath.
- If the party wants a way out, all they have to do is get to the zone to the south-west... which does mean going through the Temple of the Unraveller.
- Still, the robot guards are sufficiently charmed by the party that they offer dinner! They lead the party through to the dinner table where dinner is just finishing up. The guests have names referring to British politics that are basically completely out of date even two weeks later, but I think "Jacob Greased-Cog" was a real highlight!
- They say they'll try to rustle up some people food, because they basically just eat fire. It is... holy of holies... a safe zone in the dungeon to heal up!

Total: 10 000 exp

Enemies Overcome:
- One huge Dwarf guy (250 exp)
- One tiny shanky Dwarf guy (75 exp)
Total: 325 exp

Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 80579 (Level up at 128000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 56688 (Level up at 72000)
- Tom / Porcini, Level 2 Proto-Goblin: 2668 (Level up at 4000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Goblin Buddy! +Saves! +Backstory!

Tuesday, 25 October 2022

Session 329 - Right to Repair

 Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva

New Characters:
Sydney, a Magic-User and former (?) vagrant with an ooze familiar.

New Backstory:
Ian Brown lost an argument with Swan the Swift about the finer points of Barbarism.


--- Slime!
- We open where we closed - the party stuck inside the ooze room with a big ol' gelatinous cube gumming away at an unharmed huge mutant dwarf. He's enjoying it!
- The Dwarf escapes, his lavender skin condition healed up by contact with the goo. Fair enough!
- The gang debate what floor they're on. Ian insists ten, citing no evidence. Swan thinks it's more like 6, and furthermore that the server room is on level 5 so they need to go up the slime tube. And they do!

--- More Slime!
- Up the tube they do a bit of classic dungeon exploration. There's an ominous glopping noise, which they follow to a bridge that goes over a pit of ominously glopping black ooze. Thankfully they realise the bridge is an illusion (or at least a projection) before walking on it!
- Ian traverses the gap by the use of one of them necklaces that you swallow and get turned inside out then sucked into the necklace. It's still a surprisingly safe means of travel!
- A bit of handy ropework later and the crew have crossed the ooze unglopped, then come out into another room with MORE goop just glopping there. This time a tempting piece of cheese is in the middle of pivoting bridge that will dump anyone walking to get it into the slime!
- Ian simply ties a rope to his narwhal tusk and spear-fishes the cheese over. It's... cheese! Ham is also found. If they find some crackers we're in Lunchable territory.

--- Roboda Roboda
- They hear whimpering sounds and investigate, finding a wheely robot that's been trapped by waist-high walls! It wants to go fix the data stacks. Data stacks?! Where?! To the south!
- They release the robot from its confinement and are careful to tie a rope to him in case he slips on the slime with his wobbly wheels.
- He starts to lead the party towards the stacks! On the way they pass a room containing a person the robot calls the Mucus Mage. Unfortunately that draws the Mage's attention!
- They're polite to him, so he's fine albeit snotty. He's down here hunting the beautiful ruby that teleports around the place and eludes his capture, and he's become obsessed.
- Dorian sees the ruby floating in the Mucus Mage's room and goes to catch it with a lunchbox! Sadly it teleports away... but Dorian still tries to convince the Mage that he caught it in the lunchbox. It does not work for long, and makes the Mage sad.
- It reappears and Sydney whips a Magic Missile at it! The missile blips back and forth as the gem vanishes and reappears split-seconds before being hit by the unerring missile. Alas.

--- Server Issues
- Maybe they'll come back for the gem some day. For now, the servers! These must be fairly easy to fix, right?
- It is, in fact, worse than they'd hoped. A massive hole has been blown in the central mass of Fate, the walls lined with glowing blue computer lights and the tiny red pods with imps inside that are used to backup the citizens minds.
- The robot says that it'll take a lot of robots to fix. Or they could just turn the system off and on again, but that would mean erasing the saved mindstates of Fate's citizens and tantamount to genocide, which we can all agree is generally bad.
- More robots are down on the lower levels of Fate, and this convenient giant gaping hole will make getting down a few levels fairly easy!
- Swan breaks a demon pod open and extracts a eggshell beige imp of the 8th Sin - landlordism. It dies when it's unplugged and splurts into thick, hastily applied beige paint and drips all over a plug socket.

--- The Debate of Our Times
- It's a few levels down - they reckon down to level 8 - and come to a sort of blown up valley floor that's been colonised by big huge verdant mushrooms.
- Sydney tries to plug an imp pod into himself but only succeeds in waking up the little guy, who frets because he was LARPing as one of the maintenance crew on the first level of the dungeon and wants to go back in.
- Ian lobs him across the room and a tentacled robo-angel swarms down to catch it! The light fades, and another tentacle-pod-angel reconnects a fresh pod to the empty socket.
- They ask the little robot what Fate even is. What is this technology? It lore-dumps with relish!
- Fortress-City Fate was originally an ark that escaped from a Shub-Niggurath infested planet before it cracked like an egg. The Red Elves were those original inhabitants, though obviously they live on Mars now. Many questions are raised by this new info!
- Arguments once more erupt over turning Fate off and on again vs fixing the place, and continue until the pub closes...

Total: 6000 exp

- Cheese (1 exp)
- Ham (1 exp)
- A robot friend! (2000 exp)
Total: 2002 exp

- Some imps
Total: 0 exp

Exp totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 77911 (Level up at 128000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 54020 (Level up at 72000)
- Tom / Ian Brown, Level 3 Mancunian Barbarian: 4501 (Level up at 8000)
Level Up! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Rolls! +Backstory!
- Carter / Sydney, Level 1 Magic-User: 2001 (Level up at 2250)

Tuesday, 18 October 2022

Session 328 - Increasingly Incoherent Dwarves

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva

New Characters:
- Oktar the Rat-Eater, Dragon-Hun and Alleged Mutant.
- Ian Brown, Tamer of Horses and "awright luv?" enthusiast.


--- The Sewers
- It has been a long time since last we met, and to everyone's delight they are in a nasty sewer. Slime drips from the brass walls, pooling in slick slippery puddles of foulness across the tarnished floors Fortress-City Fate's innards.
- There is, however, a massive glowing red ruby ahead.
- Newcomer Oktar runs DIRECTLY AT IT despite the Admiral Ackbar-esque protestations of Dorian Demone, Swan the Swift, and Tyler Lockheart.
- It merely vanishes, sending Oktar slipping into green slime (but not Green Slime).
- Tyler attempts to help him up, which ends up with both of them slipping around on slimy slop.

--- Behold a Tube
- They decide to follow the runnels of slippery goop, following a sort of churning honking schlorping sound. They come across a capital-T Tube, worryingly organic, with man-sized holes leaking various colours of goop. It's made of tarnished brass.
- Tyler tickles the rim of the grey hole with his board. It starts leaking grey gunk and extends a little tendril towards his face...
- Oktar fists the purple hole and is rewarded with a faceful of aggressive jelly foetuses which begin to crawl down his throat!
- Tyler tries to catch the grey ooze in a jam jar, finds it's too big for one jam jar, and shoves the whole jar into the hole! It crunches and munches and spits out a floor hazard mad of jam jar shards! All metal objects on his person begin to shiver and hiss acrid fumes.
- Oktar is having a bad time because the jelly babies are trying to kill him. Swan lobs his battleaxe into the melee and hits Oktar.  Dorian smashes at the jelly babies with his mace and hits Oktar. Oktar chomps down onto a jelly baby, gets punched in the belly from the inside, and goes into a RAGE!
- The raging Barbarian destroys a swathe of jelly babies with his Death Trance multi-attack, but heedlessly snaps his own leg and has several fingers devoured by ravenous jellies!
- Swan smacks the remaining jelly babies towards Oktar who yearns for Valhalla, this will be a hard one to explain to the valkyries.
- Oktar is torn nearly to shreds by the jelly babies as he slaughters them! Swan the Swift grants him not-so-swift mercy. It takes some time to finally kill the man. Tom grabs another character sheet.
- Dorian demolishes the grey goosh that is minding its own business in its little hole honestly. Enemies slain!

--- The Damp Descent
- Ian Brown, Mancunian Barbarian, appears fairly rapidly. He comes upon the party while they are looking upon the grey hole. It is much less active currently.
- Using a variety of ropes and rope-like objects, he is lowered down the hole.
- It's quite a long way down, but eventually he slips out the bottom of the grey tube and finds himself in an oozy altar room! The ground is slick, various colourful gunks slorp towards their assigned coloured orifices... and on an altar is a small scale model of the ooze tube!
- He picks up the slime idol and feels the very specific feeling that oozes shall not attack him and will, in fact, convey him up the tubes if he so wishes!
- He feigns death by screaming and yanking down the rope, so it's a miracle that his prank doesn't get him killed by his fellows when he returns up the tube!
- They descend by the orange tube, and the resulting gorp attacks the party! It's the sort of ooze that splits into two when attacked!
- After various amounts of ooze-slaying, the ooze is slain!
- Time is taken to think of 90's Manchester music scene puns that also relate to oozes. I shall not convey the results.

--- Urgh? Argh! Uhhhhh!
- Using the slime totem to urge some grey ooze onto the metal barricade, followed by some spirited crowbarring, the way is unblocked!
- Beyond are painfully bright electric strip lights and the sound of grinding rails. Less like skateboarding, more like trains.
- Let's split up gang!
- Tyler and Ian go left, finding an area with loads of rails hung up vertically like wind chimes. They jangle unsweetly, and will be hard to move through without making them ring.
- Dorian goes straight ahead, coming across a big mutant Dwarf with his back to him, spinning a rail turntable which is covered with various symbols and muttering. The Dwarf doesn't see him.
- Swan heads right towards some sort of rough music. He peeks round a corner to see a troupe of three huge double-size Dwarf drummers banging away while a small crowd of other huge Dwarves dance to the beat.
- Of note, several of the huge Dwarves have colourful faces and beards, possibly slime related?

--- Mahgahloooof
- Tyler tries to slip through the wind chime rails and fails, making them smash against each other and ring discordantly! Swan sees the Big Dwarf crowd start to turn and look, so uses his noisemaker slingshot to cause a distraction. Success!
-Tyler doubles down and rushes in. Inside, more huge Dwarves! They are mollified by his air-horn but don't speak his language, so grunt and gesture instead.
- Is the head Dwarf called Magaluf? It's unclear.
- He follows one of them through a room containing ooze-coloured (and dead) Dwarves and to a room with a big ol' pool of glistening ooze. It shimmers like sunrise over water.
- The Dwarf he followed mimes washing, then goes to wait behind the door.
- He pretends to bathe and feeds the Dwarf some jam as if it's come out of him. The big Dwarf goes to tell his friends, and they all come to taste the man jam... but that's all we know. Maybe next session?

--- Ooze Bath
- The big Dwarves in the music room keep miming to Ian that they want the "Idosh" he's holding. He feigns not knowing what they mean despite his only possession of note is the slime idol.
- He leads them back towards the ooze room, baiting them with the idol. Once they enter he squeezes the purple side of the idol and a whole load of jelly babies squirt out of the purple hole! They hit the lead dwarf dead on and... are absorbed into his skin. He seems quite happy actually!
- Ian tries again with the white side and unleashes a classic Gelatinous Cube! It glorps over the Dwarf and... he seems happy enough in there! He swims out and it looks like that lavender rosacea he had has cleared up! 
- We leave it here because the Dwarves are fairly happy and nothing has gone wrong... possibly?

Total:7000 exp

- Slime Idol makes slimes not attack you (8000 ob)
Total: 8000 exp

- A horde of jelly babies (100 exp)
- A grey glorp (250 exp)
Total: 350 exp

- Chronicler & Paymaster: Kitty
- Vanguard & Chef - George
- Expedition Leader - Tom
- Death's Witness: Dorian, Swan, Tyler

Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 75910 (Level up at 128000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 52019 (Level up at 72000)
- James G / Tyler Lockheart, Level 5 Specialist: 23234 (Level up at 24000)
- Tom / Ian Brown, Level 2 Mancunian Barbarian: 2500 (Level up at 4000)
Level Up! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Rolls! +Saves! +Backstory!


Tuesday, 11 October 2022

Session 327 - A Time Jump In Reality Only

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva

New Characters:
- Supply Teacher Mark who is a Spider-Kid, failed chalk-cutter, and apprentice teacher.

New Backstory:
Peter Parabolus had a wounded wasteland dog, which he took home and cared for. +1 to Beast morale.
Iskander resisted the hottest summer his homeland had ever seen. +1 to Con.
- Iskander had the best moment of his life when he went back to see his father who loved him so much. Once per session, cause someone who trusts you to become immune to fear and morale checks for ten minutes.


--- Celebus: Reanimator
- Down in the whirring depths of Fortress-City Fate, the party are standing around debating what to do about the dark Dwarfs talking in the guttural tongue of the Dwarven Arcology of Ur-Darghab.
- Swan the Swift and Supply Teacher Mark show up, having somehow evaded the perils of this mechanical maze! They join Celebus, Dorian Demone and Jojo Fullbeard. Also joining them, a whole theatrical troupe who are trying their best to stay at the back.
- Celebus has collected a few Last Breaths by now and wants to reanimate a Dwarf skeleton for shenanigans. They decide to walk back to the room with all the Dwarf corpses because obviously. On the way they nearly run into a mechanical angel with contra-rotating plates... but something shifts and it's simply the shadow of a Dward scuttling past.
- They reach the room of dead Dwarves and Celebus achieves his achievable dream by animating a Dwarf corpse as a skeleton. There is one weird thing though... a gem drops out of the skeleton's belly.
- To their surprise it seems all these Dwarves have gems in their bellies! They must have swallowed them! The Dwarf corpses are all gutted and the gems taken.

--- Are These Dwarves Tough or Just Lucky?
- They remember the lift they saw before, and decide to find whatever shadowy key might unlock it and let them skip some levels. They do remember that there is that one room with the shadowy dwarf behind a shadowy desk with a shadowy key around his shadowy neck... but it's full of cosmic horrors beyond their comprehension so maybe they keep that as a backup.
- Alas, on the way back to where they began some other shadowy Dwarves happen upon the party and move in to attack! The Dwarves extrude tendrils of shadow that attack the shadows of our heroes. Worse, it saps their strength!
- Swan is berated by Jojo who invented the "obvious" fact that the solid Dwarf is the true shadow, and to damage these guys they need to mime attacking the shadows on the ground with their shadow weapons. We say the word shadow a hell of a lot.
- Supply Teacher Mark shows off his spider prowess by fighting from the ceiling in this narrow corridor. Dorian uses the hell out of his Axe of Ridiculous Wounding despite knowing that it will the later damage his joie de vivre. Celebus makes his giant snake skeleton chuck that very same snakes' animated skin at the foes, then scurries around grabbing the black odium of the dying Dwarfs' Last Breaths.
- The Dwarves are slowly slowly worn down, not helped by some absolutely appalling rolls by combatants on all sides. But at last, finally, they are dead and lootable for their stomach gems and also an interesting-looking book about some sort of War of the Roses. Hmmm.

--- Eldritch Fear of a Plump Helmet
- Exploring further, they find a pair of doors with what look like short toilet door signs. Trying the bearded female side they discover... a dorm! The true toilet lies within. There are also, to the surprise of all, female Dwarfs in there?!
- Jojo casts Summon and it goes about as well as one might expect.
- Later, after having run across half the map, being chased by a whole theatrical troupe who were possessed by the smoke spores of a Plump Helmet Demon, we wonder once more about why Summon is such a fun spell to use.
- During their flight from the Demon they happen to absorb a couple of living shadows into shields their bearing Take-Light glyphs. Pretty good move!
- Finally they hide in an abandoned Smithy, hiding behind the door as the possessed theatre troupe prowl past along with a similarly possessed dog. Dorian expands, clutching the whole party in her goopy skin, and turns invisible just in time to evade the sight of the possessed.

--- Reasonable Chance of Ooze
- Having basically turned this part of the level into a possessed mushroom versus shadow dwarf battle royale, they move away from the deliciously yeasty smell of Plump Helmet smoke and towards a place which they haven't yet explored.
- Signs, such as the smell of poop and the loud gurgling from the walls, point to this being the inevitable Ooze Zone. However... to suspicion and delight... at the end of the hallway, glimmering in the dark, is an enormous floating ruby.

Total: 5000 exp

- 28 Dwarven Belly-Gems of Various Types (2800 exp)
- Book #116: Ur-Darghab, City of the Deeps (100 exp)
- Book #234: The Wars of the Roses (100 exp)
Total: 3000 exp

Monsters Defeated:
- A hefty serving of Dwarf-Shaped Shadows (400 exp)
- A large smattering of Shadow-Shaped Dwarves (1000 exp)
- A gaggle of mushroom-possessed theatrical types (200 exp)
Total: 1600 exp

Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 73210 (Level up at 128000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 64236 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 49319 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 11755 (Level up at 18000)
- Tim / Supply Teacher Mark, Level 2 Spider-Kid: 2020 (Level up at 4000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +Mysterious Spider-Powers! +Backstory! +Saves!