Tuesday, 23 August 2022

Session 326 - The End of Suspiria

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva



Events:

--- Evade the Shadow Dogs
- Suspiria, Jojo and Dorian leave the quiet kitchen many levels down into the dungeon below Fate, accompanied by a giant lizard and a moaning clone of Suspiria. The machinery in the walls here is fairly well maintained, shining brass pistons and whirring cogs spinning and hissing in clanking rhythm.
- They hear faint distorted animal noises and follow them down the shadowed hallway, lit by the soft red-tinted light that glows from within Dorian.
- They peek round a door and see a few shadowy pitch-black hounds with blue flames licking around their jaws. They're eating the shadows of corpses. The party sneak past, leaving well enough alone.

--- The Surface of the Sun
- They enter a large room with stone tables and big shields mounted on the walls. They have Repel Light glyphs embossed on them. Jojo takes one... and from under the tables some flat Dwarf shadows crawl out and attack the party's shadows!
- Suspiria gets the worst of it, her Strength being drained as the shadows rip and tear into her own shadow.
- She tries to snap-cast Magic Missile, but the magic winds out of control! Hallucinatory Terrain forms, the room is suddenly bathed in light like the surface of the sun!
- The shadows scream silent screams and flee as fast as they are able! 
- The half-blinded party wrestle a couple more shields off the walls and stumble out of the room, the sun-terrain refuses to fade.

--- Shadow Food
- The party continue, entering a strange little annex with an obvious secret door - a false wall painted Wile E Coyote style to look like this underworld machinery.
- The annex itself contains a bunch of dead Dwarfs in black hooded Klan-like robes who cast no shadow, and some long-smashed kegs of ale.
- They try the secret door and lo! It opens!
- Inside there are humans and goblins dressed in rags, caged by broken pistons. They say they are LARPers from above, captured by demons and traded to the shadow Dwarfs who are slowly eating their shadows. The weakest have the tattiest shadows, scraps of shadow-stuff bleeding in the light.
- Suspiria tosses them some mushrooms and they fall upon them gratefully. In exchange they tell the party all they know about the shadow Dwarfs and their leader To'coatl Cthon who wears a crown of twisted metal, and of the shadow-hounds that breathe cold flames.
- Jojo picks the lock, releasing the captives. They are given directions to the dragon cultists upstairs, hard to follow because the Passwall spell has long vanished, and a few of the captives decide to help out the party because hopefully they're a safe bet. Splink the Goblin and Gregory the Human carry stuff for Suspiria, and Alan the Human - becomes a porter for Jojo. Warm bodies! - Belatedly it becomes apparent that the whole lot of them are some sort of theatre troupe, including a mime.
- Some hooded robes are grabbed for the three who will be tagging along with the party, and also some boots. The plan is to have the ex-slaves kneel on the shoes and pretend to be Dwarfs who've captured some people. Classic!
- They also say that Plump Helmet beer helps to heal damage from shadows. Luckily they brewed some last session! Suspiria and Gregory share a cup and they can feel that it's helping... although they will need a full serve.

--- The Sins of Dwarves
- They travel on, eyes peeled for shadows. A wave of darkness washes past impersonally, tying Suspiria's shadow to the clone of her she accidentally generated last session. They can't be apart now, but it's... fine? They come to a long pillared hall, skeletons in manacles tied to the ceiling, each pillar carved with one of the five Dwarf Sins - sloth, whimsy, inattentiveness, deceit, and cowardice. - Suspiria gives it a go, throwing off her deceitful stealth roll, removing her whimsical turban, and walking with brave attentive gumption towards the other end of the room! The pillars which glowed briefly let her past, and she gains some Dwarven constitution!
- They hear some distorted dog-growls and a language nobody can place. They don't go that way! - The other direction links back up with the hallway to the kitchen, but there's some metallic grinding sounds from behind another painted secret door...
--- Dwarfs and Angels - Might as well check out this secret door. They fling it open... and see a full three-dimensional Dwarf wreathed in shadow behind a desk... and two robotic creations that are each made from three repurposed angels, layered on top of each other, grinding around each others' spherical bodies!
- The angels go straight for King Gizzard the Wizard's Lizard! Gregory jumps in the way to save the cute beast, shattering a shield against an angel's drill then getting the other one's drill straight to the brainpan.
- Suspiria goes for a "Snold Snerson",the snake version of Hold Person. Snakes blast out of her fingertips and go straight through the shadow Dwarf... but his shadow is held by the snakes' shadows! - Something is wrong with Suspiria though. She sees herself in a darkened room, painting the scene. She paints more and more legs coming out from her torso. So many legs. Her friends scream, running, as the creature crawls out of her skin. She laughs, crying, as the monster emerges and the shadow of its chitinous claw guts the shadow of the Dwarf. - The rest of the party slam the door. The shadow-bound husk of Suspiria is trapped on this side, pinned to the secret wall. The party step backwards as the clone writhes and shrieks.

--- Lift Denied
- They back slowly away... then turn and run. Screams follow them down the hall. - They come to a room with... a lift! It looks like it will go straight down. The trouble is that it's locked up tight with shadowy locks, which clearly need some sort of shadowy key. A pity that they've got a cosmic horror problem in the room with that Dwarf...
- They explore more... and come across a friendly Dwarf called Gurny! He's from Ur-Kalladh, near Dwimmermount, and while he doesn't speak the language of these shadow Dwarfs he knows they're speaking the dialect from Ur-Darghab. He's a philosopher.
- They hear kettle drums from behind another hidden door and investigate. They lift up some portcullises, quietly sneak down the hall, and peek round to see some more shadow Dwarfs playing kettle drums. Or at least, the shadows of the shadow dwarfs are playing the shadows of kettle drums. They're singing in Ur-Darghab, which I voiced very well I thought!
- Considering this might become a fight, we pack up for the night for now...

Total: 7000 exp


Enemies Defeated:
- Some Dwarf shadows (225 exp)
- Two repurposed angels (500 exp) - A shadow Dwarf (250 exp)
Total: 975 exp


OOC:
- Kitty the Cartographer & Paymaster (200 exp)
- Ollie the Expedition Leader & Quartermaster (200 exp)
- Tom the Vanguard & Chef (200 exp) - Death's Witness bonus (200 exp ea.)


Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 47299 (Level up at 72000)
- Tom / Suspiria, Level 4 Magic-User *DECEASED - BECAME LIVING PORTAL TO A CHITINOUS REALM*
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 9735 (Level up at 18000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! +2 to Saves! +Backstory! - Tom / Gurny, Level 2 Dwarf: 2734 (Level up at 4000)
Level Up! +1d10 HP! +1 Lorebond! +2 to Saves! +Backstory!




Tuesday, 16 August 2022

Session 325 - Worship the Dragon

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva


Events:

--- My Friend the Lizard
- The party wake up on the straw beds in the blocked-off dungeon annex and they are HONGRY.
The walls continue to ripple with strange gravitational anomalies.
- Everybody wants to eat the giant iguana they locked in the throne room nearby. 
- Suspiria slightly opens the door to the throne room, and a big lizardy tongue comes flicking and licking out! She Charms it and feeds it some butter, which it seems to love! Lizard friend! Her familiar is jealous once again, and the lizard seems averse to Celebus' snake skeleton with its captive skin kite.
- They check out the throne and find a book of spells laying on it. When Dorian sits on it he experiences snakey visions and gets more WIS!
- Summising that this is a Chaotic-only effect, the rest of the Chaotic characters sit on the throne and get some extra Wisdom. Nice one!

--- Dragon!
- They keep exploring, gingerly pushing over some double doors to find a large room with a well. Celebus collects a few samples in his Necromancer vials.
- There's some priestly chanting coming from one direction, so they go the other.
- Parabolus pushes open a side door and finds a room with cool snakeskin robes and fanged-mouth masks. One of them is extra fancy and shimmery, so Parabolus grabs it before Suspiria gets a hand on it! The fanged-mouth masks, however, glue onto your face and give you a poisonous bite... Parabolus is stuck! His eyes look slitted like a snake's behind the mask...




- Suspiria opens the next door and... it's the DRAGON! It warps space, head and teeth rippling through non-euclidean angles to bite her! She's down in one hit, organs crushed, bleeding heavily and...
- No she wasn't! She uses a backstory ability to avoid catastrophe! She leaps out of the way just in time, shimmering dragonteeth smashing into the just-closed door!

--- Cult Life
- They swiftly back away, walls shimmering with gravity whorls, and back through the well room towards the chanting. The rippling distortions on the walls are following them now, humming and thrumming.
- They tumble through a door into a room containing snake cultists in their snake robes! A draconic claw ripples through the wall, hunting for the party, and nearly gets the head cultist! The party save his life, and while he's grateful he's still unsure about them.
- No matter, Suspiria attempts to chaos-cast Nut and the spell goes horribly awry, nesting in her chest, tearing her own way out of her own body, shedding herself like skin. There are now two Suspirias.
- The cultists fall to their knees at the miraculous sight of shedding skin!
- Suspiria (the new, nude one) is given a robe and sits on the throne as the cultists praise her. She hears a voice in her head...


- "I require a new scion!" says the voice in a dragony tone, and Suspiria immediately accepts. She eats a nut and butter and the dragon tastes it through her mouth. It is pleased!
- She is now indoctrinated into the Drakencult, and Celebus joins too as a new cult disciple! Their connection to the Mass rune is strengthened, and Suspiria's black eyes now see the entropy of all things!

--- Down
- They poke around a few other rooms now that they're on friendly terms with the cult and, more importantly, the dragon. They find a book called Beyond the Aether in the priests' bedroom, and some wine in another. Suspiria drinks some wine and loses HP, but she can speak with snakes now!
- Using some gravity nonsense and a Passwall spell, Suspiria creates a portal in the floor (a wall to her, since she's standing on one) and creates a shimmering hole down into the next floor of the dungeon...

--- It's Brew Time
- They come down via rope and rune into a kitchen-slash-brewery, stocked with casks, brewing supplies, and bags of mushrooms marked Plump Helmets! They nab them.
- Hearing running water, they head out along a corridor to find a well! Suspiria jumps in, finding a small pipe and a handful of obols.
- She then offers to cook, and this one's a doozy. Parabolus insists that their meal should be a beer, brewed swiftly via handwavey timeywimey nonsense! They call it Save vs Poison Beer, and it contains a heady mix of Holy Water, Demon Water, Plump Helmet, Salted Butter, Dragon Claw and Snake Meat. Quite the beer!
- It goes fine, great even! The tasty brew that results even grants a bonus to Doom saves! Must be something about the way the Holy and Demon water create some kind of Neutral Water.

Total: 6000 exp



Loot:
- A snake-themed spellbook
- Boa skin (500 exp)
- Fancy snake cult robe (1100 exp)
- Book #174 - Beyond the Aether (100 exp)
- 100 Plump Helmets (100 exp)
Total: 1800 exp


OOC:
- Charles the Chronicler and Art Attacker (200 exp)
- Kitty the Expedition Leader (100 exp)
- George the Vanguard (100 exp)
- Tom the Chef (100 exp)




Exp Totals:
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 62216 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 44565 (Level up at 72000)
- George / Parabolus, Level 5 Specialist Ventriloquist: 15122 (Level up at 28000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!
- Tom / Suspiria, Level 3 Magic-User: 8334 (Level up at 9000)


Tuesday, 9 August 2022

Session 324 - Snakes Alive!

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva


New Backstory:
- Jojo's twin, Apollo, got punished for tipping over Swan's family heirloom... but it was Jojo who did the deed. Eventually Jojo admitted that it was her fault! (At will, cause a randomly targeted attack to hit you instead).
- Dorian let a wampire lady in through a fleshy "window" of the Dharga, leading to much hijinx. (Once per session, replace a random encounter with the least threatening thing on the local encounter table).


Events:

--- Snakes!
- After last session's ominous snakey foreshadowing, it's time for snakes! Big ones!
- The party enters a room with snake theming, a massive snake slithering around the machinery on the ceiling, and multiple smaller (but still very big comparatively) snakes writhing through the cogs and pistons of the walls.
- An old joke about snake snanguage returns! All snake words snart with a sness and a snenn!
- The snakes snattack! Dorian attempts a blow dart to very little effect! Celebus tries something insnane and snanimates a shed snake skin.
- The skin kite snake skin will go on to absorb the skin of every last motherfucking snake in the motherfucking room as they are chucked straight into its skin-maw.
- The larger snake has a great time biting at one person while trying to squeeze another in its coils, then chucking them at other people. 
- Celebus gets squeezed by one of the smaller snakes and simply ejects from his flesh! The snake is left to curl around a blob of skin and organs while the True Celebus, the bony skeleton version, runs around punching other snakes.
- Jojo who gets thrown to the ground then murders the big snake with a crossbow bolt! Pour one out for the XXXL danger noodle.
- Celebus, knowing that skin kites can be complete aresholes, climbs back into his itchy skin prison and reanimates the big snake as a snake zombie! It picks up the now very big skin kite snake in its mouth and carries it around to stop it from eating people unsanctioned.

--- Loot!
- Dorian searches around for anything interesting and finds a thing of interest! It's a Morning Star of Ridiculous Wounding and does extremely silly damage at the cost of your Constitution.
- Celebus finds some snobols in the snake snoo.
- Jojo sees a very limited map of the level which is at least somewhat useful. She photographs it with her magic photography spell which she hadn't prepared this morning... and it Chaos Bursts! Other than some spectacular vomiting it has no other effect, thank goodness.
- They spend some time eating.

--- Books!
- They move on and find a looted library containing a few leftover books. They are titled The World Behind the Mirror, the Nature of Dwarfs, and the Nature of Demons.
- They have a little read and find out some minor lore.
- Some gravitational distortion warps them back to the start of the room as they try to leave. Jojo surmises that there's a dragon of a gravitational nature around these here parts.

--- A god damn iguana
- They poke around the dungeon some more, finding a snake-themed room with a massive iguanadon in it. Some shenanigans and Meat Points from Dorian later, they lock it in a snake-themed throne room. It piques their interest, but nobody is game to face down the big iguana just for the sake of a cool throne room.
- Thankfully the iguanadon room has a few beds in it, so they decide to block off the door with various furniture and have a nice nap. What could go wrong??

Total: 5000 exp


Loot:
- The Morningstar of Ridiculous Wounding
- Some loose obols (18 exp)
- 2 holy snake medallions (1000 exp)
- Some loose snake-themed trinkets (18 exp)
Total: 1036 exp



Enemies Defeated:
- A very big snake (250 exp)
- Some smaller snakes (200 exp)
- A rather large iguana (100 exp)
Total: 550 exp



Exp Totals:
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 60066 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 42415 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 7001 (Level up at 9000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +free spell! +backstory!







Tuesday, 2 August 2022

Session 323 - Desperately Resting

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva


New Backstory:
- Peter Parabolus nearly died during an Indiana Jones-esque escapade. Luckily he saw the rolling boulder just in time, and leapt out of the way! +1 Awareness.


Events:

--- Crying Faces
- In the clanking darkness in the dungeon depths beneath within Fortress-City Fate, Peter Parabolus and Dorian "Ditto" de Mone pant as quietly as they can after their run-in with the tiger men and the demons. The sound of that battle can still be heard through the brass door.
- As silence falls once more, they take stock of their situation. Four, maybe five levels down into the Brass Hell. A corridor softly lit by Dorian's demonic glow. They hear the sound of sobbing from behind another door on the opposite side of the corridor. Maybe they should check it out?
- Dorian knocks. No answer, just more sobbing.
- They open the door and see two huge metal faces crying at each other from opposite sides of the room! Parabolus inspects one and finds multiple holes within the mouth.
- Alas! A trap! Crossbow bolts shoot from both faces, and the crying turns into a laugh!
- Parabolus, enraged, jams a rock into the laughing mouth of the face that shot him. It starts to weep... and having one laughing and one weeping opens the door out of the room! Lovely!

--- Surprisingly Chill Tiger People
- The next room is a guard room. Tiger people are lounging around. The leader of this little pack tells the pair that they must return to the demon chambers. It transpires that the tigers have a deal with the demons - they prevent anyone with emotions from leaving, and in return the demons get them cloned human carcasses to eat. A feast for a feast!
- Nevertheless, on discovering that the party is here to repair Fate, the tigers let them go onwards. It also turns out that these tiger-people are human minds who chose to be sleeved into humanoid tiger clones. They're furries, basically.
- Dorian and Parabolus take their leave, heading towards the roars which the tiger guys warned them about. Apparently the way down is over that way somewhere.
- They pass through the tiger-people's toilet room (smells bad) and go up another corridor. The walls shimmer with a rippling heat haze effect, though the temperature is still the same hissing warmth as ever down here in the bowels of the machine.

--- Cubic Sloth
- They continue onwards, almost walking straight into a few blue-masked demons! They are demons of sloth and take umbrage to the pair's blithe wanderings!
- A chase ensues, the Sloth field of the demons making their legs stiff and tired. The demons hunt them down and trap them in a dead end. The middle of the room has a big stone cube, rippled like jelly.
- A battle ensues with horrifying effect. The demons are strong! Attacks slap against their oozing sides with little effect, while their claws exact a heavy toll.
- Dorian rips the mask off of one of them and slaps it onto his own face. He is filled with strange demonic energies! It's not enough to protect him as a demon smacks him to the ground, and his return attack leads to his sword shattering into a thousand pieces as the energy courses through him.
- Nevertheless, the battle has hurt both enemy demons. Parabolus finishes them off, then crouches to help Dorian. He's an oozing wreck, legs failing to form and rich red ichor dripping from punctures in his clammy clay skin.
- Dorian scarfs down some fried snake and iron rations to rebuild his body, while Parabolus guards the entrance. They're both heavily damaged, even with Dorian managing to stand up again.

--- Night on the Cube
- They're exhausted and there's no easy way back up to the surface. They realise the cube might be their salvation, and assist each other in climbing up its rippled stone surface. In the claustrophobic gap between the cube and the ceiling, they finally get some rest.
- During their rest in the infinite hissing darkness of Fate, Parabolus briefly stirs in the artificial night. There's a slurping schlorping sound... and he peeks over the edge of the cube to see a slime digesting the demons' corpses.
- Later, there are some tiger people sniffing around, wondering where the Sloth demons are. Apparently they were meant to be patrolling this area, and they missed a couple of check-ins.

--- Beyond Human Burger
- Somewhat healed up by their rest on top of the cube, but out of food, Dorian decides on an excursion to the tiger-people to see if he can rustle up some food. He's got the Sloth demon mask, after all.
- After a fair amount of negotiation where Dorian persuades the tiger-boss that he needs to feed his slothful minion some food so he can continue to be sinfully slothful, he bags one of the clone corpses that the tigers feed on.
- He hurries back to the cube and they swiftly cook up some "Beyond Human Burgers" using clone-human meat, loads of marmite, and some mysterious embyros they found somewhere in the Meatlands. They use a bunch of Nullifier Spice though, so there won't be any downsides from eating man-flesh.
- They gobble the passable meal down, but the smell attracts a tiger-man!
- They buy him off with a burger... but then the fire sets off a fire alarm and water starts gushing from the sprinklers above! This wets the rest of the tiger-man's tiger party and, yowling, they run off to where it's dry. Safe for now!

--- Mushroom Muushroom
- They keep going and hear a sound like chickens clucking somewhere. Two and two are put together - that stone cube must have been a gelatinous cube that ate a cockatrice! Best to avoid those things.
- They head into a room that's a bit like an abandoned school cafeteria. Huge purple mushrooms glow with a faint light, countless suppurating holes peppering the caps that look unsettlingly like they're breathing.
- The mushrooms SCREM!
- Growls and yowling of a bunch of tiger-people come towards the pair. The mushrooms attracted them!
- The pair flee up a corridor, finding a barricade, and swiftly shimmy up and over before the tiger-people can get them.
- The roar of some great beast, closer now, roars out, sending ripples through the strange heat-haze distortion along all the walls. The tiger-people leave, assuming that whatever that is will eat our heroes.

--- Snake Stuff
- They look around the little room they've ended up in. The machinery of the walls has been smashed up and battered so it resembles a whole room made up of snakes. The door, covered in snake pictograms, has been smashed in.
- The next room once had mighty pistons between floor and ceiling, and these too have been battered until they look like snakes. There's snake poo on the floor.
- Since there's probably a snake in there, we wrap up for the night...

Total: 8000 exp



Enemies Defeated:
-
Two Sloth demons (200 exp)
Total: 200 exp


OOC:
- Chronicler and Treasurer: Kitty
- Vanguard and Expedition Leader: George



Exp Totals:
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 39481 (Level up at 72000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Limit! +2 to Save! +Backstory!
- George / Parabolus, Level 4 Specialist Ventriloquist: 12972 (Level up at 14000)






































Tuesday, 26 July 2022

Session 322 - Tubular!

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva


New Backstory:
- Peter Parabolus had a surprising turn of good luck, having a pleasing and low-stakes adventure... until karma took its toll and a vampire waylaid him and dropped him at the top of the Dharga. 
After you fail a roll, +1 to your next roll.
- Peter Parabolus had a baby with someone! In some horrifying way, the kid is within the ventriloquist's dummy he holds so tightly...


Events:

--- Not player do not kill
- After eating a fried snake to heal up, Dorian and Parabolus walk around the kobold market LARP to see if they can find a moderator. They find an old gaunt goblin in a moderator sash who offers them some of the ketamine beer... which they turn down.
- After they tell him that they're planning to head down into the dungeon to physically fix the data stacks, he gives them some bright orange sashes that say "non player - do not kill!" on them.
- He also introduces them to Jim who is a woman, secretly a member of the Sabateur faction of the Maintenance Crew game. She makes it clear that she doesn't actually sabotage anything, it's more about hiding sabotage tokens in designated machinery and the good guys have to find them in time before it "blows up" and the Sabateurs get points. All that aside, if the party can actually fix the problems on the lower levels (and maybe restore her save state which is getting corrupted) she'll hook them up with some loot boxes.
- Using the power of the sashes they easily avoid encounters, bypass the level boss, get directions from a guard post (who also mention that this dungeon has ten levels), and find the stairs going down.

--- Goblin Nonsense
- The next floor down has a couple of (real!) hobgoblins and their goblin buddies. Some of the goblins are having a bunny eating contest, the others are interrogating a rat.
- Peter throws his voice to a doorway, saying he knows the location of the rat's cheese! Three of the goblins run off after it!
- They enter the room and the hobgoblins take note of their sashes. These guys are guarding the way down to the lower levels, because it's actually dangerous down there. All the LARPing is on these upper floors, and even this level can be a bit hardcore because the goblin buddies don't really understand that the game is for pretend.
- While the cheese-searching goblins somehow return with a wheel of brie, Dorian and Parabolus explain that they're here to actually fix things here. The hobgoblins let them through!

--- THE TUBE
- Downstairs there's a pool of dirty water with a squeaky brass cube. They find a silver holy symbol in the water - it's of Dispater so it's in the form of a brittle bone. There's also the sound of rushing wind, like breath blown over a bottletop, coming from somewhere nearby.
- They follow the noise and find a tube. A brass tube covered in many fist-sized holes, from which fresh-ish air is blowing.
- Dorian decides he must enter THE TUBE. He turns into glorp and schlorps into the holes... finding himself shlooping down to a lower level with a grate. He reforms into a person and calls up his findings to Parabolus.
- Using rope and the discovery that the top of the tube is simply open and easy enough for Parabolus to climb up and into, they both arrive on the grate level... then jump up and down on the grate until it breaks and they fall through!
- Another level down but they've reached the limit, the air is pumped in here by tubes so small that even Dorian in gloop form wouldn't be able to get into without becoming a long sausage.
- Dorian exits the tube via the normal holes and begins working on freeing Parabolus... but there is a sound from behind! Purple-masked and pot-bellied demons! And is that... Tyler Lockheart?

--- Gluttonous Shenanigans
- Guessing that these are Gluttony demons, Peter Parabolus tempts them over by saying he's been stuck in the tube for daaays and he's sooooo hungry. All in the room start getting hunger pangs... they need to eat.
- Luckily Tyler Lockheart still has loads of sausages from the Meatlands and hands them around, satisfying the demons who are soon filled by the gluttonous sausage-lust on display. As they feast on the feasting, Dorian manages to unscrew the bolts holding the tube in place and lifts it up enough for Parabolus to squeeze out from under. Success!
- The demons, big round bellies full of tasty gluttony, wander off waving their thanks.

--- Waking the Werewolf
- There are roars coming from one direction and nothing from the other... so they go away from the roars.
- They come to an area with four hotel-style doors. One has a Do Not Disturb sign hooked on a door handle.
- They try one of the other doors and find small premier inn-style rooms. They search all the others and find various shampoos, little soaps, slippers that have seen better days, etc. In one there's a fancy poofy ballgown though! Dorian puts that on.
- They knock on the Do Not Disturb room and a werewolf opens it. He's angry at being disturbed!
- He attacks, Dorian responds with a flamethrower mutation then Parabolus follows up with a doll/knife attack! Dorian brandishes the holy symbol he found earlier and the werewolf retreats into the room to lick his wounds. They shut the door.
- The werewolf puts the door on the chain and opens it a crack for an awkward post-fight convo. He's a bit sorry.

--- Wrathful Trickery
- They follow the corridor round and note a magical-looking eye painted on the ceiling.
- A gang of five red-masked demons approach. They clearly want to make the party angry, so Dorian explains that they'd be REALLY ANGRY if they were shown the way down to the next level.
- With lots of annoying "huh, that make mad? Huh??" the demons lead them to the stairs.
- The source of the roars! A huge hydra with three heads! It's in a pit in the middle of wide circular hall with wide stairs at the western end and portcullises and a blue-masked Sloth demon looks down from a balcony above!
- The Wrath demons are chuckling... the stairs go up not down! Irl the players are frustrated! It worked!
- They barge the party into the room, saying "haha you mad? Attack us! haha you so mad!" and trying to bait the party into fighting them. The Sloth demon above gets lively and starts exuding a Sloth field of some sort.
- Better get out of here! They sling sausages at the hydra heads, distracting two! The third head snaps at Peter Parabolus as he runs past!
- The Wrath demons give chase, and we're off to the chase mechanics! Dorian drops caltrops, slowing the demons, and they escape! The portcullis clangs down behind them.

--- Greed and Tigers
- After catching their breath they try another door and it's... even more demons! These wear gold masks with jewelled foreheads, and they're arguing over a map with half-tiger half-men!
- The tiger-men, seeing the party enter, yell that they've been betrayed! 
- Parabolus and Dorian distract both negotiating parties while Tyler sneaks around to another door, shimmying past sightlines. He finds a room with a mancub-skin rug, beds, and a chest.
- On his return he's spotted! He tries to surf over the table to safety, but fails and lands on his back! He gets clawed by one tiger, but the other's crit fail has it biting a gold-masked demon. It's chaos!
- The table tips over towards Parabolus and Dorian, and Tyler rolls to safety as the tiger-men and demons start fighting and yelling. Dorian hits the tiger-man chasing him with a stun dart and they shut the door behind them, then bolt down another corridor...
- Session over, but at least it's not mid-battle!

Total: 8000 exp


Loot:
- Floofy ballgown (400 exp)
- Various little soaps and little bottles of shampoo+conditioner+bodywash (10 exp)
Total: 410 exp


Enemies Defeated:
- Gluttony demons, ate their fill. (300 exp)
- Werewolf, apologised (100 exp)
- Tigerman, 
Total: 400 exp

OOC:
- Chronicler & Paymaster: Kitty
- Expedition Leader & Vanguard: George


Exp Totals:
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 5 Inheritor: 35181 (Level up at 36000)
- George / Parabolus, Level 4 Specialist Ventriloquist: 8672 (Level up at 14000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +2 to Saves! +Backstory!




Tuesday, 12 July 2022

Session 321 - Return to Fate

Date: 21 August, 21 p.p.
Moon: Waning Crescent - Dragonwane
Zenith: Oberon


Events:

--- The Fated LARP
- The party are in Fortress-City Fate and it's much like old times, except that the brass-and-clockwork city is now full of clay-based maybe-demon people downloaded from the data stacks in the city's core. Other than that it seems normal...
- They ask the guards about what's going on in the city, major factions, that sort of thing. The current Fated Queen is Madame Black who won the throne after the previous incumbent was found to be having an out-of-character affair. She's part of the Masquerade faction, one of three "serious roleplaying" courtly drama types along with the Council of Viziers and the King's Men who are all in factional conflict.
- Other factions are having a bit more fun with it, like the deeply non-serious superhero LARP over at All-Prayer or the kinda-roleplaying-kinda-not Maintenance Crew who are doing a plotline and trying to work out why the data stacks are breaking down in the deep city.

--- Superhero Time
- The team take the train to All-Prayer to check out the superheroes. They're in luck! As soon as they arrive they see The Conductor, an electric supervillain, capturing POWERMAN in a magnet cage! Another hero called Devilman shows up too!
- Jojo decides her superhero name is Future Girl and she can see the future!
- Future Girl fights The Conductor and wins, getting him in a headlock! Guards turn up in an anachronistic Guber and take the villain away. POWERMAN and Devil Man invite the party to a party later - up on the walls is where people hang out when they're out of character.

--- What's In This Drink?
- They head up to the party and it's pretty cool! You can look down over the city from above, and they serve a bunch of drinks which are variants of the same thing - some kind of pale liquid clay.
- Dorian, being a demon made of clay himself, tries some of the stuff...
- It's basically watered down clay plus Alterket - the ketamine analogue - and it fucks him right up!
- The clay, it transpires, is from the body of the enormous demon that exploded into the city all those years ago, raining demon obols down on the place and splatting right down onto the former farm sector of the city!
- Dorian is mostly blob by this point, and happily follows the others along burbling away.
- They take the outer circle line to Verdance and its many stairs.

--- Demon Goop
- Dorian blobs down the stairs going wheeeeeeee.
- It transpires that the demon clay is what the people of the city are formed from now. If killed, they just chuck your kara back into the mud, upload your mind from a backup, and there you are! Low stakes all round for the people here.
- They borrow a barrel and bloop Dorian into it. He's pretty happy in there.
- Parabolus is pleased to discover that while there are farms, they're all set dressing and don't actually grow anything. Wheatlands monopoly continues!
- They decide to head back into the city via boat, then change over to the deep city line and check out what's going on with these data stacks. It's probably the only "real" adventuring to be had in the city, since everything else is a larp.

--- Enter the Dungeon
- The reach the deep city and head down towards the gatehouse, then on into the Brasshell dungeon beneath. According to the guard at the gatehouse, the first floor of the dungeon is for dungeon LARPers, then it gets progressively more dangerous and real the deeper you go.
- They check out a room that just has a spooky speaker playing canned evil laughter, then check behind a door that sounds like a ringtone. Parabolus keeps yelling out that they're real and not playing the game.
- Behind the ringtone door there's a wheel of fortune! Jojo spins the wheel, gets a sad face result, and gets hit by a minor curse that makes her worse at rolling! Dorian tries it, gets a happy face, and earns a free reroll in the dungeon! Parabolus spins it, gets a sad face, and gets hit in the neck by several thin darts.
- Another room is explored, there's a statue of the OG Fated King in a dry fountain. Jojo fixes it, and finds that it could have been set to spew noxious fumes! Instead she sets it to water, which begins flowing.

--- Kobolds
- At a crossroads they see a whole bunch of people dressed up as dog-like kobolds! Between Jojo's incendiary bolt and an alarmingly successful gambit combo from Dorian and Parabolus, it doesn't go well for the kobolds.
- The "kobolds" morale breaks and they decide to call it a day. Jojo fist-bumps the strongest looking kobold and Charms him. He says his name is Shishlak aka Brad, and he tries not to break character.
- Shishlak leads the team to the kobold market that they've got down here! Everything is mostly made from shaped clay, but there are fried snakes which are at least real food.
- Parabolus does a ventriloquist show to make a bit of cash, and then also borrows money off of Jojo to buy some weapons and armour.
- They also meet a mysterious stranger in the bar... they call him Trundler. His real name is Snorri Broadshoulders, and if the party can bring him 47 Dwarven Artifacts he can play a human as his next class. He can pay in premium currency!
- Seeing as it's relatively safe here, and Dorian is still feeling some of the after-effects of the ketamine clay, they decide to stay here for now and plan for the deeper levels tomorrow. Strike the earth!

Total: 7000 exp


Kills:
- A bunch of "kobolds" (100 exp)
Total: 100 exp


Exp Totals:
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 5 Inheritor: 30576 (Level up at 36000)
- George / Parabolus, Level 3 Specialist Ventriloquist: 4067 (Level up at 7000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory! +2 to Saves!
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 4067 (Level up at 4500)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! +Backstory!

Tuesday, 5 July 2022

Session 320 - Sightseeing in my Flesh Balloon

Date: 18 August, 21 p.p.

Moon: Third Quarter - Dragonwane
Zenith: Oberon


New Characters: 
- Jojo Fullbeard, Muscle Wizard daughter of Iskander who was once a Disaster Repairperson.
- Parabolus, a Specialist who specialises in... ventriloquism. Has a ventriloquist's dummy.


New Backstories:
- Suspiria attempted a forbidden spell and accidentally turned her entire school into an illusion. Countless lives lost and replaced by illusory simulacra. She went into hiding as a result, ending up as a taste tester at Ferfect Fried Chicken.


Events:

--- USS Abomination
- Negotiations have taken place atop the flesh tree Dharga. Aemilius will join the tree as Emperor - less a balancing force and more of an unhinged Emperor who will demand tribute and cause enough internal bickering that the Dharga will be reduced as a threat.
- Also, the Meatlands will be pulled back to the base of the tree, no doubt by merely cutting off circulation to the Meatlands proper. It's August, so the hot sun is sure to make the miles of gangenous flesh smell real good and tasty.
- Finally... they want a ship...



- The Unsightly Symbiotic Ship Abomination is formed!
- Featuring the dulcet tones of Jonathon Toast whose brain has been sacrificed and "upgraded" to form the ship's Awful Intelligence, the ship is huge and rather stupid. Suspiria's familiar loves hanging around the blowhole and pretending to be smoke from the engine. Most of the organs are in the rear, and there's a big Bucket Extrusion And Manipulation device known as the B.E.A.M. to transfer them up and down from the ship. It's... perfect!
- Swan the Swift retires to oversee the Wheatlands project. A wandering ventriloquist named Parabolus arrives conveniently.
- Iskander spends a little while in some sort of poorly explained time travel plot wherein Samantha Bread bears a child - JoJo Athena Fullbeard.

--- Neo-Spacedin
- After some time with all this, they set off on the USS Abomination! First stop - Neo-Spacedin.
- From above they can see the shanty-town that has sprung up around the crashed UFO. They land on the ship's retractable widdle  paws and disembark into what seems suspiciously like a quarry in Wales.
- There are a whole load of bright green blobs dotted around singing about how their god has come! As the airship takes off Parabolus throws his voice to make it sound like the airship itself is speaking and calling the party the emissaries of God.
- The blobs ask where the party is going and they tell them it's Neo-Spacedin. The blobs are all "oooh we can take you there! Help us get in so we can chill!". The party is suspicious.
- Nevertheless, the blobs do lead the party to town. A man in a watchtower holding a laser rifle hails the party... but warns them not to let the blobs in because they drank all the booze. The party get in, accidentally letting a blob or two in, and leaving the disappointed remaining blobs to wheedle at the guards.
- The party hits up the local pub, an extremely tacky reggae themed bar called the Rastaroid. They are, in fact, out of booze. The slimes drank it all!




--- Oven Pizza Horror
- The crashed spaceship is examined and the matter replicator is still stuck on hawaiian oven pizza mode. It turns out all the town's booze is pineapple liqueur made from the pineapple people pick off the pizza.
- [[[Extended jokes and several people crying with laughter here]]]
- There is extended discussion about whether they should try to fix the replicator, because what if they break it? Jojo manages to at least make the pizza come out faster so it doesn't start out reheated. The townsfolk are overjoyed and rename the Hawaiian pizza to The Jojo Pizza.

--- Other Residents
- In town there is a mysterious statue that speaks only in Psalms, worshipped by priests which dragged it here from the wastes. It's the original Snels!
- The Hyperchurch of POWERLAD is the town's main church. The grave of Flowers Penurious is here in the graveyard where grieving worshippers bench-press the gravestones.
- A house with darkened windows contains some vampire refugees. They are a bit pathetic, begging for blood. Suspiria decides against giving them some blood in exchange for a weapon.
- The vampire Luna tells them that Bertha still rules Mt Death Frost, and Cyrus has not been seen for years.
- Swan the Swift briefly arrives with an investment opportunity - the Wheatlands! Wheat beer to change up the pineapple liqueur, and non-pizza wheat products! Plus the vampires can have thrall serfs and be feudal lords! The townsfolk seem pretty pleased with the idea.
- A colony of Mod Cons still reside in the ship, where they have a gaming area set up. Each person in the party persuades a random Mod Con to come with them, from a dimmer bulb for Jojo to an electric toothbrush for Dorian!
- Suspiria, at a blob's behest, kicks it and catches the smaller blob that comes flying out in a bottle. It's a familiar in training! The smoke familiar is immediately jealous.
- Finally, Parabolus asks about the emergency transmission they picked up in Enoch. It was a transmission from Neo-Spacedin to encourage refugees from the growth of the Dharga and the fallout of the diamond dome being destroyed. They are taken to see a special guest... Grumpy the Dwarf!
- He's rocking slowly on a bed next to a stack of uneaten pizza, occasionally mumbling about having lived a thousand thousand lives. Sometimes people emerge from Fate far above, and they're compos mentis but have no memories, and integrate into the community. Grumpy is a little different though, and they don't know why.
- Sounds like someone should investigate Fate!

--- Ascending to Fate
- They return to the ship, satisfied that Neo-Spacedin is going alright and has some interesting stuff going on.
- Ascending back to the ship in the BEAM, they realise that some of these blobs have clung to the bucket! They're stuck under the bottom of the bucket for now, but they might escape...
- Suspiria installs the Mod-Con Playstation in the Hollow Deck. It only has xbox games but who knows what the future might bring? 
- They ascend into the evening sky, turning towards Fate, and blimp their way up and up.
- Lights glimmer below. Fearing air defences, they kick a blob off the ship... nothing. No lasers, no defensive turrets... just light and the faint sound of chatter and music.
- The blimp docks at the only place it really can - the top of the spire of the central sundial-shaped palace! The crew BEAM down, to loud gasps from the crowd below!
- It's just like old times. The steam and cogs of the great Fortress City, the streets filled with hurrying masses, the crowds in clothes from before the end of the world!
- Guards show up in sundial hats, of course. The entry was not exactly subtle. They demand to know who authorised this flesh balloon in the simulation! The party asks them to take them to whoever's in charge.
- Suspiria, hiding behind her mask, is nudged by someone in the crowd. She's been mistaken as a member of the Masquerade faction... but fails the secret codephrase and the person vanishes into the crowd.
- The guards take them through an official looking door and into a sort of backstage area. It turns out Fate is all a big LARP! They meet the LARP coordinator for this area and she's baffled that the party, and the airship, came from outside, she thought everything out there was meant to be dead!
- Suspiria casts Old News, causing everyone within a mile to think that the party's arrival is old news. Known, but not remarked on much any more. The party have entered the LARP...

Total: 6000 exp



Treasure:
- Mod-Con Dimmer Bulb
- Mod-Con Playstation 1 w/ xbox games
- Mod-Con TV Remote
- Mod-Con Electric Toothbrush



Exp Totals:
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 5 Inheritor: 28109 (Level up at 36000)
- Tom / Suspiria, Level 3 Magic-User: 6184 (Level up at 9000)
- George / Parabolus, Level 1 Specialist Ventriloquist: 1600 (Level up at 1750)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1600 (Level up at 2250)