Session 276 - Premonitions of a Space War

Potentially the penultimate online session, and Red has finally broken that famous L8 glass ceiling! We're set up for an alien invasion, and George has kindly provided the following soundtrack to get us in the mood: https://youtu.be/5-3D8VitOkA

Session 276 - Premonitions of a Space War

Foes:
- A blue mould zombie guy (100 exp)
- A cavalcade of Dwarf-things (500 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Events:

--- Return to the Anomalous Subsurface Environment
- With the potential real-world return to the pub in sight, the DM has prepared nothing other than a genuinely massive dungeon beneath the lunar surface. It shall have to do!
- Our heroes descend into the dungeon via the friendly robot-controlled Gatehouse and walk down the lengthy set of stairs. They can hear screeching voices ahead… and when they investigate they find a couple of post-evolutionary Dwarves having a shouting match. They are left well enough alone.
- Picking a direction, they head south through the really big hall, through a smaller empty room, and at a junction they discover a broom closet. Exciting stuff.
- One of the corridors leads to a pair of rooms, one which contains some sort of tech-coffin, the other which contains a humanoid figure mostly consumed by bright blue mould. Both have switches, secret doors, and presumably some way to open said secret doors.

--- Corpse A into Slot B
- Obviously the thing to do is to pop the corpse in the coffin and see what happens! What happens next will shock you - the corpse comes into some sort of horrific half-life and comes for the party! After a bit of messing around they slam the door on it and escape.
- Messing about with the switches and the secret doors comes to naught. They continue.

--- I Have One Big Mouth And I Must Constantly Scream

- The next room is large and has overhanging balconies. Very grand. Some clicks and whirrs harbinger an attack from a load of Dwarf-Things which screech from the ceiling! Much damage is taken before Red barges through the next door, everyone gets through, and after a couple of shots into an enraged Dwarf-thing that was trying to push its way through the door is firmly shut.
- Now once more safe-ish, the gang go onwards, safe in the knowledge that if things get hairy Scarlet Eclipse can warp them out of there.

--- The God of Exposition
- They soon stumble into a room with a big matte black surface set into one wall. This is no blackboard - it’s a telly! They try to turn it on, and lo and behold hooded skull-face of the Dead God appears upon it! Against the odds, Scarlet Eclipse quite likes the guy, seeing as he has no illusions about whether he’s artificial.
- The Dead God delivers the spicy exposition we all crave - information on what sort of bullshit’s going to go down when we can finally return to Earth, in-game and out.
- It’s all happening! Red Elves from Mars are coming to Earth, Eris’ absence from the space defence network leaves the world vulnerable, and all this while the world is still in the grip of poison storms! What could go wrong?

Total: 5000 exp

Exp Totals:

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 128345 (Level MAX)
Level MAX: +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble tables! +backstory!

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 107845 (Level MAX)

- George / Scarlet Eclipse, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 34762 (Level up at 36000)

Session 264 - Grey Ooze and Leech Dogs

Another successful trip into the depths, including a real close encounter of the third kind!

I'm pleased to announce that there is now slightly more sandbox available, stretching to a mighty THREE options for next session.

- Reclaim the Hookah. Shrub Nigeria's favourite hookah has been stolen by insectoid Iounians, and if you get it back you'll unlock access to his dank weed stash.
- Raid the Chocolate Factory. Shrub Nigeria wants to make some edibles, and the chick who runs the chocolate factory won't sell to him any more. Find out how she does it so he can homebrew his own chocolate confections!
- Return to the Anomalous Subsurface Environment. The megadungeon remains open, explorable, and lucrative!

See you tonight!

Session 264 - Grey Ooze

New Backstory:
- Wormwood does not understand the human concept of money. After he crawled out of the river he turned to a life of plucking things from trees (and people) to survive. +1 to Dexterity.
- Beepbox’s mother was dying, so he turned to dark and terrible things to save her… drilling into her brain to try to upload her consciousness! It failed. +1 Arcana.

Loot:
- Silver fangs (1800 exp)
- Silver necklace (300 exp)
- Arcane-Sigiled bath bomb heals 1d6 damage and replenishes Mana.
- 2000sb in trinkets (2000 exp)
Total: 3100 exp

Foes:
- 6 grey aliens (450 exp)
- 5 leech-dogs (1250 exp)
Total:  1700 exp

Events:

--- Potion Seller
- In Shrub Nigeria’s house, Jeremy Wizard acquires some potions from Shrub’s potion stash for a small fee. They seem like good ones!
- Others tool up a bit using the mysterious power of feeding Shrub Nigeria money for items, then the group set off back to the dungeon…

--- Close Encounters
- They walk through the first level unhindered, since the robots are on-side now, and delve down into the depths once more.
- Exploring on, they find a room with some sort of pressure plate trap. Before they can investigate much further, there is a sound from back the way they came! Big-eyed grey-skinned aliens are crawling towards them!
- Beepbox hears them trash-talking the party as they form weapons from their very flesh! It seems that their skin is soft and goopy and can form into multiple things!
- During the course of the battle, one of the aliens up the back with a massive head reforms a puddle of dead alien goop into an alien again. Nasty!
- The aliens eventually break ranks and flee, but not before Red and Wormwood can grab one of them! It laughs as it’s consumed by Wormwood’s demonic form. In its last thoughts, Wormwood hears that it exists to serve the Mother which is everywhere. Wormwood seizes the ability to bleed slimes, or turn slime into a living slime.

--- Dwarf Faces
- The pressure plate room is investigated with Red using the door into the room as a shield. Success!
- They head into another room which has a few mounds of faeces. Lovely.
- Exploring further, they find a room with a bunch of skeletons lying around and pillar with Dwarf faces and a lever on each side. Pulled simultaneously, the levers retract and the faces open to reveal a dwarven corpse with silver teeth! Wormwood takes the teeth and puts them in his mouth.

- Slimy gunk infests the bones and snakes towards Beepbox, who used a drone to pull a lever rather than use his own hand! The fool! He shrieks and runs back into the face room!
- Wormwood spits a jelly being to block the slimy skeletons and the party runs further into the dungeon!

--- Leech Dogs
- Listening at a door, they hear grinding sounds within. When they open the door they see horrible six-legged dog monsters with leech-like skin and flowering demogorgon-esque faces feasting on piles of dead grey alien goop!
- The first couple of dogs are shot in a hail of plasma fire, and Red stands forth at the entrance to the room to hold off the rest! Unfortunately these things are fast, and they bite and grind and disarm her so many times that her trousers fall down!

- Some drastic die rolls later, including lots of damage for poor Red, and the surviving dogs run away.
- They quickly search around and find a silver necklace, an arcane bath-bomb, and pocketfuls of valuable knick-knacks.

- They bug out back to the surface, Jeremy Wizard using his smoke bomb to get past the slime skeletons, and they escape!

Total: 5000 exp

Bonus: - Art Attack bonus (Izzy, George - 100 exp ea.) - Attacco d'Arte bonus (Izzy, George - 100 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Tim / Red, Level 7 Duellist Fighter: 92433 (Level up at 128000)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 7 Ratman: 79020 (Level up at 96000)

- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 6 Magic-User: 42782 (Level up at 72000)

- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 6 Cleric of the New Eden: 32213 (Level up at 56000)

- George / Wormwood, Level 4 Inheritor: 13553 (Level up at 18000)

Session 263 - Dwarven Screams

Finally! The anomalous subsurface environment itself!... and a hair bear

Session 263 - Dwarven Screams

New Backstory:
- Wormwood joined with a tyrant - Satan Himself - and became a fallen angel on Earth. Douchebags will trust you.
- Jeremy Wizard ganked and booted a noob from his guild in the styxtrix. It had to be done for the holy purpose of guild rankings! +1 Backstab

Loot:
- 6400 space-bucks in loose credit cards (6400 exp)
- Bloodstone set into a silver ring (200 exp)
- An antique bronze helmet (200 exp)
- Ancient smoke bomb
- 2 vials of rare Dwarven spice
Total: 6850 exp

Foes:
- A robo-sergeant (250 exp)
- 2 robo-guards (100 exp)
- 7 eyeless post-Dwarven beasts (525 exp)
Total:  875 exp

Events:

--- Moon Bear
- Tooled up and ready to re-enter the dungeon, the party heads back in.
- But first there is a surprise! In the cave before the true entrance they see something truly unexpected - a big black bear in a bubble helmet!
- Even more unexpected, he talks! Red speaks to it in Old Dwarven and they become friends, even sharing a bear hug. Looking around they realise that many of the rocky nodes and nodules in the cave are actually a kitchenette, a murphy bed, and other bachelor pad necessities!
- They leave him on good terms, even finding out that he knows the mythical card-delivering Moon Pig personally!

--- Finishing Off
- After a quick whip-round of the upper dungeon to really make sure they’ve explored the whole place, they go back to the room with the robot friends they’d met before. They’re scared of the boss robot beyond the door who’s been stealing parts from them for decades!
- They pile in through the door, finding a sergeant-bot and two guard-bots! Combat ensues, including some clutch robo-possession techniques from Wormwood and Red’s characteristic combat prowess.
- The guard-bots are quickly dispatched and the sergeant-bot gives up. He doesn’t want to die!
- Searching through the various footlockers in the guardroom, the party finds a bunch of treasure!

--- Entering the Subsurface
- They continue into the last place in the whole complex… a big door with warning symbols and “SUBSURFACE RESEARCH FACILITY” in big letters! There is a lever nearby showing a green light.
- They pull the lever and the lights go red, the ground shudders, something crashes distantly… and the metal doors open up to classic dungeon dressed stone and a long staircase going into dark depths…
- The robot friends say they’ll guard the door, but are forbidden from descending by ancient protocol.
- The party descends the stairs, hearing dripping water and the occasional whoop of some subterranean beastie.

--- Dwarf Evolution
- At the bottom of the stairs is a way left, a way straight, and a door of compressed moon dust on the right. They pick the door!
- Beepbox takes a picture with his polaroid camera to make a bright flash, and Red darts in!
- There is a wild scream and a horrible post-dwarven creature attacks!
- The party piles in to help and the wrestle the poor thing while Jeremy shanks it over and over again in the ribs. It dies!
- They take stock of the room - seeing a message written in blood in Old Dwarven saying “they have locked us in…”
- They also find a strange ancient smoke bomb and some rich spices! Nice!

--- Skull City
- They head out along the left-hand path, Red taking the lead, and find a room filled with many many bones. There is a clacking and rattling sound - evidently some sort of bullshit skeleton trap. Red uses some sort of suit vision mode to zoom in on some sort of skull-mounted box at the other end of the room, so boosts over towards it. Beepbox follows in his own space armour.
- The clacking sound stops, and as she lands they realise the truth - the clicking was coming from the ceiling! It’s the Dwarf things! They swarm down from the ceiling screeching to echo-locate the party!
- Beepbox wastes one with a shotgun blast but runs out of his last shell! The other Dwarf-things descend, some on Red and Beepbox, the others on Jeremy and Wormwood.
- Wormwood is nearly killed by one of their cripplingly loud screams, so Jeremy sends his bee off down the hall and casts Draw Aggro to get them away! Red slices into several on their end as those, too, head to kill a bee.
- The bee is soon destroyed, flying out of Jeremy’s nostril as it reforms. Thankfully it has drawn the remaining enemies towards Red, who summarily executes them with an anime super-move.

--- A Mysterious Box
- With the enemies defeated, attention turns to the mystery box. Some minor experimentation sees it destroying any bones placed in the box when another bone is placed on the pedestal.
- Beepbox uses his “talk to anything” miracle to talk to one of the skulls on the floor. Clever! It helpfully says that the box requires a green skull of some sort to power, and if said green skull is placed on the pedestal anything in the box will be irradiated with magical power.
- Beepbox thanks the skull and punts it into the hall. Cold gratitude right there.
- With Wormwood in a sorry state and the first attempt at getting deeper into the dungeon in hand, the party returns to the surface and Shrub Nigeria’s nan’s granny flat. Next week, to glory!

Total: 7000 exp

Exp Totals:

- Tim / Red, Level 7 Duellist Fighter: 89488 (Level up at 128000)

- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 6 Magic-User: 39837 (Level up at 72000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +1 Free Spell! +Saves Improve! +Backstory!

- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 6 Cleric of the New Eden: 29268 (Level up at 56000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1d6 Healing Pool! +1 Faith! +Backstory!

- George / Wormwood, Level 4 Inheritor: 10408 (Level up at 18000)

Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Mutation Capacity! +1 Meat Point!

Session 263 - Abotination

Session 263 - Abotination

New Backstory:
- Wormwood, as an Inheritor, gave of his body to those in need during a terrible famine. Everyone gets +1 HP from eating to heal when you're around.

Loot:
- Spools of gold wire (300 exp)
- 2 emergency healing kits
- Book #280 - On Wine (100 exp)
- Scroll #345 - Ward Against Magic (100 exp)
- Jugs of hydraulic spinal fluid
- Dwarf necklace (750 exp)
- More spools of gold wire (200 exp)
- A string of blue quartz set in copper (300 exp)
- 500 Dwarf credit chits (500 exp)
- Shard of crystal dragon-core (100 exp)
- Head of a morningstar that smells meaty
Total: 2350 exp

Foes:
- 15 robots (1125 exp)
- Giant robo-abomination (1000 exp)
Total: 2125 exp

Events:

--- Shrub Nigeria’s Nan’s Flat
- Back at Shrub Nigeria’s shack, the party ask him if there’s better accommodation than just lying on the floor. There is! His Nan’s granny flat is upstairs! It’s all tacky old person decor and carpeted bathroom chic, but it’s comfy.
- They buy some bits and pieces and rest up for the delve ahead.

--- Beep Boop
- They return to the dungeon and head back to the goop room where the flying “bread” creatures were last time. Unfortunately they’re back! Ratman tosses a rat in and sees it explode on the goop. Bad news.
- They back up and go elsewhere, finding a room where a full 15 robots, almost all with parts replaced with bone, root through various long-dead Dwarf skeletons for spare parts.
- Wormwood looks a bit robotesque due to absorbing the electric ghost last time, so he walks through the room no problem even after greeting them with a “beep boop” or two.
- Red, looking a bit robotesque in space armour, does the same. All good!
- Jeremy and Ratman the Ratman look very much not robotesque and are attacked! The party rush through the room and bottleneck the robots at the door. After a stretch of combat the robots decide it’s all a bit much and flee.

--- Subsurface Training Area
- Hearing a voice from one of the directions they can go, the party heads towards it to find a hologram of a Dwarf muttering something gutturally. After a bit of AI translation nonsense, the Dwarf has transformed into a much more audience-appropriate man-like being who speaks English. Nice!
- He is a virtual guide who does a bit of a presentation about the facility then directs the party to follow some arrows to the training centre.
- They do so, ending up in a mock-up of a dungeon complete with chest and a simple puzzle. They complete the puzzle and open the chest to find a false gold black labelled “congratulations!”. Training complete I guess.

--- Wormwood’s Shite Lockpicking
- Rather than follow the arrows as requested, the party decides to complete their exploration of this dungeon and noses around the rest of the facility.
- One room has a rather obvious secret door, so Wormwood steps in to try and fiddle it open. He succeeds only in knocking the power and getting electric shocked, then tries again and gets zapped again. Some locksmith!
- Eventually he realises that he can just use his electric ghost powers to possess the door and open it! He does so, and the loot within is claimed!
- Jeremy uses some magic nonsense in the next room to get the power back on… but sees that the shenanigans have attracted a horrifying monster! A great robot made of twisted metal and Dwarf bone and loot! Flee!

--- Battle Against the Monster
- Wormwood uses his last meat point to possess the robot with electric ghost bullshit, run it into the goop room, and zap out again. The robot starts fighting the flying bread monsters while the party doubles back the other way.
- The next room they look in is evidently the abomination’s nest! They loot all the things… but then the robot monster comes home! Red murders it, weakened as it is by the fight against the breads, and they loot its body.

--- Friendly Robots
- Moving swiftly on, they go through a couple of rooms including a locker room with old classic adventuring gear like rope and daggers in the lockers.
- They come to a room with robots, and of course without Beepbox to translate they can’t talk to them! Red’s suit can translate into English, if not back, so she can hear that they’re worried about the robot abomination she just killed.
Jeremy offers them a big metal bar they looted from said creature, and the happy robots reveal that it’s from a nearby secret doorway! Hurrah!
- The jubilant robots escort them from the facility, they are saved!

--- Books and Such

- The now-traditional reading of books at the end of the session begins.
- Red discovers that the Iounians of the Moon live in caverns.
- Wormwood discovers that Moses freed Humans from Halfling-dominated Egypt in the Bible.
- Jeremy discovers Shrub Nigeria’s nan knows how to make Iounian Wine from the creatures.
- Ratman discovers that there are wine bars on the Moon, but they’re not popular because there’s no atmosphere (much booing ensues)

Total: 8000 exp

Exp Totals:

- Tim / Red, Level 7 Duellist Fighter: 85806 (Level up at 128000)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 7 Ratman: 76105 (Level up at 96000)

- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 5 Magic-User: 35655 (Level up at 36000)

- George / Wormwood, Level 3 Inheritor: 6726 (Level up at 9000)

Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Mutation Capacity! +1 Meat Point!