Session 52 - Back to Civilisation

Finally a break from all the doom and gloom!

Big money big money means you can live like kings or waste it all on hookers and blow, your call.

If you're interested you can find a list of random stuff you can do with your money here 

and for the equipment list I guess you'll just have to download the rulebook here.

Equipment starts on page 27.

For Oli - Titus totally had some money in the bank! Less death tax, Lulu's got a big 900 silver in there if/when she takes over the account.

For Dominic - How do you even explain your eyepatch to people? "Yea sorry I've got to keep this on because otherwise a horrible dwarf can see through my eye"?

For all - I also totally forgot to let you guys roll for rumours when you finally got back to civilisation, so I rolled up a few.

- "There was once a Dwarven fortress in the mountains near Pembrooktonshire, but it was destroyed by a dragon over a thousand years ago. It's true it's still there! They have to placate it every year!"
- "At Monk Hill their Moon Festival involves the sacrifice of children. It's barbaric!"

- "The Animal Arena is back in Edge! The Termaxians might be heathens, but damn can they put on a show."

Session 52 - Back to Civilisation

Campaign date:
Friday, 20 September, 1549
Moon phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:

- Joe Joe, a Halfling who has vowed to avenge her parents' deaths at the hands of a murderer. As the murderer escaped, they accidentally dropped a bracelet in a big pile of shit. They justifiably left it behind. Joe Joe dug through the pile to find the bracelet, and used her newfound skills to begin a career in gongfarming. Now she travels the world to find the one who killed her parents.

- "Sir" Stabbington Shanks, a Fighter and former nightwatchman who accidentally smacked the guard captain in the head one night, thinking him a criminal. You're a loose cannon, Stabbington! You're off the force!

Enemies defeated:

- Höolloch by Frosen, critted in a single shot from Lulu's hypertoxic crossbow bolts. (250 exp)

Total: 250 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A bunch of sacks perfectly sized for human heads (3 exp)

- A chain with grapple (20 exp)

- Three sets of handcuffs (30 exp)

- 22625sp, including profits from silk, ambergris, Starry Hrad's reward for proving there's no gold, and all the rest. Split 7 ways for about 50 gold each.

- Much equipment was bought on the return to town.

Total: 53 exp

Exploration:

- Up to 150 miles of travel (500 exp)

- First party to enter Clunge (hurr hurr) (100 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Events:

- Exited the pit, found corpse-puppet, went to see the Reed People refugees after the newt people took over their village (50 exp)

- Amazingly, Bob totally learnt the click-language of the Reed People when she was working on a slaving ship, strikes up conversation. (50 exp)

- The Reed People can't take back their village because their chieftains have lost their souls. Joe Joe "returns the soul" of one of the chieftains via mind control, chieftain leads Reed People in a glorious charge to retake the village. Newt people take one look and leg it. (50 exp)

- A bunch of jerks on top of the wall are seen through a spyglass. They wave, point at creepy Dwarf on canyon wall. Laugh. (50 exp)
- They yell down from the top of the wall when you're close enough. Have a conversation, they're jerks. They ask about a book. Suddenly Sir Stabbington Shanks is hit from behind by a weird bolt that gives his left eye a second pupil. They leave. (50 exp)

- The wall is climbed and the central breach is climbed down to get to a moored skiff. Halfway down one of the jerks yells from above not to steal his boat. Lulu crits him in the throat and he explodes into poison. (50 exp)

- Bob looks up at the dam as you sail away, sees Dwarf, puts two and two together - the creepy Dwarf can totally see through Stabbington's fucked up eye. Stabbington makes himself a mask to cover that eye, stares at his own balls for a while.

- Lulu rescues DeCosta's horse and skiff. Everyone heads to the Witch village, half the village is dead-eyed and staring from their roofs. Second skiff is given to the non-creepy villagers. How to kill the witch is debated at length, final decision: fuck that. (50 exp)

- Getting to Carrowmore is otherwise uneventful. Starry Hrad is grateful for your bag of iron pyrite, says it's totally great proof of lack of gold. Gives the 5000sp reward in a strongbox. (50 exp)
- Starving Carrowmore townsfolk buy a lot of livestock from the island from you. (50 exp)

- You sail to Gush and Bob meets her old mate Derek from her sailing days! Good bloke, Derek. (50 exp)

- Assets are liquidated and buying stuff ensues. Big money in the city! The party splits in two, one half to party, the other half to go to the bank. (50 exp)
- Party Animals head to Clunge and get wasted. Peggy wakes up with a clear head despite drinking the most, Lulu and Bob get into different kinds of sexy trouble. (50 exp)

- The Fiscally Responsible head to the bank in Edge by way of John Doe's mining business. He drops off his blood-powered mining machine and begins cooking up plans for a reliable supply of blood, possibly in a joint venture with Peggy. They get to Edge and deposit money in the bank. (50 exp)

Total: 700 exp

Misc:

- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Fame increased! (50 exp)

- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)

- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)

- Shopping Spree bonus (100 exp)

- OHKO'd Hooloch by Frosen (100 exp)

- Horrifying Realisation bonus (100 exp - Stabbington)

- Badass Backstory Bonus (100 exp - Joe Joe)

- Peggy Caroused! (1760 exp - Peggy)

- Lulu Caroused! (1320 exp - Lulu)

- Bob Caroused! (880 exp - Bob)

Total: 550 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- "There was once a Dwarven fortress in the mountains near Pembrooktonshire, but it was destroyed by a dragon over a thousand years ago. It's true it's still there! They have to placate it every year!"
- "At Monk Hill their Moon Festival involves the sacrifice of children. It's barbaric!"

- "The Animal Arena is back in Edge! The Termaxians might be heathens, but damn can they put on a show."

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today! Except for Sir Stabbington's weird eye thing.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 18778 (Level up at 35200)

*DING!* +1d10 HP! +1 Lorebond!

-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2981 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6917 (Level up at 7000)

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 3 Barbarian: 5578 (Level up at 8000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Level Up table!

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 4158 (Level up at 4400)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

*DING!* +1d12 HP!

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 1 Fighter: 1396 (Level up at 2000)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 1 Halfling: 368 (Level up at 2000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Nimrod / U, Level 1 Specialist (Monk): 828 (Level up at 1500)

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6649 (Level up at 7000)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 51 - Nothin' But A Good Time

Escape! Finally you're out of that horrible hole in the ground.

You'd think Fungonius of all people would be wary of meddling with poison, particularly a poison where "all of its organic and inorganic molecules re-orient to become horrifically deadly to the living, semi-living, animate, and un-dead" as soon as it touches our dimension.

But alas. 

They didn't even mean to kill you, you know. They naively thought you were letting them out as promised.

For Leo and Liisa - your characters were saved! You owe Mariana/Aurora for that, she was the only one who thought to go save your bodies from the encroaching jaws of the giant.

For Oli - That giant wasn't even meant to be killable so good work doing the impossible. Lulu's new resistance to poison is super fitting! I'm sure Titus would be proud.

For Nimrod - Sorry for sorta forgetting you until the end there. At least you know where the pub is now!

For Hayley - So your first experience of the game was getting your nuts crushed against a wall and seeing a floppy giant's flaccid dong. WELCOME TO D&D.

For all - You know, every group I've run games for in this world has fucked it up somehow. This thing with the poison people emerging in a year might just be the terrible doom your group has unleashed!

Session 51 - Nothin' But A Good Time

Campaign date:
Wednesday, 10 September, 1549
Moon phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:

- Lulu Spiderbite, revealed to be a religious flagellant with a surprisingly deep backstory entwining Titus DeCosta's heretofore unknown past, lost love, a controlling parent, and heartbreak. I hereby instate the Badass Backstory Bonus.

- Bob, a pressganged Dwarven sailor that suffers from severe seasickness. Escaped with only his sword and his spyglass.

- U, a mysterious monk said to be able to understand any language, yet unable to speak.

Enemies defeated:

- The horrible giant, shanked in the foot with a crossbow bolt that had been converted into an ultimate ur-toxin from the elemental plane of poison. Exploded in a virulent cloud of toxic doom. Lule Spiderbite did not look at the explosion. (3000 exp)

Total: 3000 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A strange two-man mining machine that runs on fuels unknown. A variety of detachable tool heads available - breaker, pick hammer, core drill, cut-off saw. If you can discover what it runs on it would be extremely useful for a mining operation.

- Several trilobite shields and suits of chainmail-equivalent trilobite armour (800 exp)

- A quiver full of crossbow bolts so deadly that every inch of them is inimical to life itself. Even touching one with bare flesh means Save or Die. Hitting anything with one means they explode into a cloud of toxic horror, no save.

- Brought previously looted treasure to surface - silk, diamond-hearts, geode-eyes, heatproof ceramic.

Total: 800 exp

Exploration:

- Explored 4 new dungeon areas (80 exp)

Total: 80 exp

Events:

- The party begins in the room of the dead chemical ladies. Peggy Pigrider faints due to her player not being here, Leo remains unconscious, Aurora is woken up and heals herself. Bob the Dwarf and Lulu the Barbarian are awkwardly handwaved into the scene. (50 exp)

- A decoy is created by jamming Jack "Danger" Wilbur's corpse onto a spear. (50 exp)

- The room above is inspected, huge amorphous hand seen reaching in. (50 exp)
- Battle is joined! Horrific tortures involving fire and fingernails are enacted on the hand but it manages to crush Bob's groin against a wall. Despite a terrible cramping in the kidneys, Bob survives. (50 exp)

- The arrival of the other hand means everyone legs it back downwards. At least the decoy works -  a horrible munching sound is heard as the giant devours Jack's speared torso. (50 exp)

- The group descend, find a shitload of old, crumbly wood. Utilise few bits of sharp non-crumbly wood to create a big spiky thing on a stick. (50 exp)

- Giant's make-tube-with-hand-at-top-of-ladder-hole trick is discovered and the big spiky thing thrust into the middle. Giant clenches hand shut, hurts palm terribly. (50 exp)

- Team jump to other side of stalactite, find room filled with neat boxes containing parts for multi-purpose mining machines. John Doe the Unlucky immediately grasps implications for his inherited business. (50 exp)

- Room above contains a whole heap of different spiralling shells from tiny to gigantic. Include armour and shields formed from trilobite shells sized for humans, exoskeletal moultings of humans, and other weird shit (50 exp)

- Room above contains sealed glass cylinder containing three strange green gaseous people with faces like malachite. They cycle through languages until they find one you speak. (50 exp)

- Giant is seen to be worming its way into the room of the chemical women, Aurora quickly runs back to grab unconscious bodies of Leo and Peggy before they're eaten (50 exp)

- Various people talk to the green gas people. Their names are Sarin, Myco and Xyclon and they are tox-men from the elemental plane of poison. They want to get out of this glass cage. Lulu gives them all her crossbow bolts to be converted into super-toxins, in exchange she will grant them freedom. They promise that if someone opens the hatch they'll wait around for a year before leaving the dungeon. (50 exp)

- All that can be seen in the burnt cloth room is the giant's foot as it worms deeper. Lulu jumps across using her flagellant rope as an Indiana Jones whip, jams a toxic bolt right into its sole, runs back. (50 exp)
- The giant's foot quickly necrotises, bulges, explodes in a chunky cloud of green fumes. (50 exp)

- The party begins climbing the chains, but Fungonius stays behind to make the tox-men toxify his sword. Proper protocols are not followed and the tox-men are released, accidentally converting Fungonius' equipment and entire body to an explosive cloud of toxic death. Last words: "Shit" and/or "Ah Shroom". (50 exp)

- The tox-men awkwardly wave goodbye to the party climbing up the chains, saying that they'll see them in a year. (50 exp)
- The survivors leave the dungeon, speaking briefly with a little girl peeking down from above. Upon reaching the top, the little girl is revealed to have been a puppet made from a corpse. The puppeteer is unknown. (50 exp)

Total: 850 exp

Misc:

- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)

- Leave a Man behind bonus (50 exp)
- Nutshot bonus (50 exp)

- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)

- Split the party bonus (50 exp)

- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)

- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

- Why Did You Touch That bonus (50 exp)

- Overkilled the Giant (100 exp)

- Badass Backstory bonus (100 exp - Lulu Spiderbite)

- Lonely Death bonus (200 exp - Dominic's next character)

- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Bob)

- Death's Witness bonus (100 exp - all who saw Fungonius explode)

Total: 650 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Fungonius, asked toxic beings from the elemental plane of poison to coat his blade in a poison so virulent that it can kill anything is touches, accidentally released said toxic beings and exploded in a cloud of poison so virulent it can kill everything it touches.

Exp Totals:

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 2 Barbarian: 3990 (Level up at 4000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 3890 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day!

Hayley / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 1028 (Level up at 2200)

Nimrod / U, Level 1 Specialist (Monk): 828 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic / (Dominic's next character), Level 1 ???: 1028 (Level up at ???)

Peggy's retainers:
-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2842 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 5 Cleric: 15788 (Level up at 28000) *Deceased*

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 16740 (Level up at 17600)

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6649 (Level up at 7000)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 50 - Chemical Heart

In this week's session, our brave heroes defeated a carpet, smashed a flower, and shanked some babes. Heroes, I tell you.

For all - SO MUCH EXP! Ringadingdingding. Level ups inbound, but unfortunately this doesn't happen until you get the loot to a safe place (ie. out of the dungeon). You'll level up as soon as you find a place to sleep soundly.

I'm was in two minds about whether Fungonius and the new characters from the end of the session should get exp despite not experiencing that fight etc, so I rolled a die to decide.

Result - everyone at the table will gets a share of exp even if their character didn't necessarily see it all due to death or arriving late or leaving early or whatever. Less book-keeping for me, and that means the people with new characters get an instant level up this time. Hurrah!

Also for all - New policy: If the session ends in a dungeon or otherwise dangerous place, and you aren't here next session, your survival is dependent on your fellows lugging your limp body out of there. Your life is in their hands.

Session 50 - Chemical Heart

Campaign date:
Tuesday, 9 September, 1549
Moon phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:

- John Doe the Unlucky, a Dwarven Leatherworker hunting his brother for his inheritance. Found his brother's corpse. Guilt level - Middling to low.

- Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, an absolute beast with her bare hands. Prior profession as yet unknown.

Enemies defeated:

- Small army of marble statues on a ledge, stopped attacking when their ledge was left (0 exp)

- A tapestry knitted with living bones, burnt with flaming oil (500 exp)

- Ten strange chemical women, hacked and whacked (250 exp)

Total: 750 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A fair amount of a light, white, heat-resistant ceramic.

- Three bales of silk, thin and blue as the evening sky (1500 exp)

- Three bales of silk, rough to the touch and the colour of a stormy sky (3750 exp)

- One bale of silk, incredibly tough and black like bruises (5000 exp)

- Six whisper-thin drifting pieces of cloth, embroidered with spiders and each stained with a turin shroud face. (300 exp)

- 10 heart-diamonds from the chemical ladies (5000 exp)

- 20 eyes like broken geodes (1000 exp)

Total: 16550 exp

Exploration:

- First party to descend into the Pit (500 exp)

- Explored 8 dungeon areas (160 exp)

Total: 660 exp

Events:

- Travelled across the drained lake, gave candy to surviving People of the Reeds, forded river. (50 exp)

- Descended into the sun-soaked pit, wedged main door open with crowbar (50 exp)

- Emerged into tiered room with statues. Tried to topple statue of ledge, fled when they came to life. (50 exp)

- Huge cavern, huge wheeled machine with huge chains going down into darkness, lowered down DWARF to check out what's at the bottom. Many rooms are open to this main shaft. (50 exp)

- There is no bottom. DWARF jumps from chain going down to chain going up, ties himself on, is eaten by some sort of enormous bat creature. (50 exp)

- Forced open copper door in floor - discovered a giant set of scales that can weigh anything, including abstract concepts (50 exp)

- Descended, discovered opening to main shaft, swung across to room full of crates of fireproof ceramic (50 exp)

- Went up ladder to room with strange angular plants in glass jars. Leo broke one, nearly killing himself in the chemical explosion, dropped sword. (50 exp)

- Went back down, oh shit instead of the way back there's a weird carving of a horrible smiling face with its hand reaching out (50 exp)

-Went down to room with cloth all over the floor, bales of silk, and a tapestry on the wall surrounded by bones. (50 exp)

- Titus attempted to Turn the tapestry, ensuring it could not approach him. Aurora lobbed her labradoodle into its "mouth" and others lit it on fire before everyone escaped upwards with whatever silk bales they could grab. Room is on fire. (50 exp)

- Fluttering tissue-thin silk shrouds floating on the heated air obtained via fishing. The big smiling face is gone now. (50 exp)

- Leo climbs up to get his sword back, is nearly crushed by a giant stone hand but is TOO STRONK and escapes back down. No sword though. (50 exp)

- Descended further through cloth room, reached room with white, spiky, chemical ladies lounging around and saying weird shit. (50 exp)

- Chemical ladies tell Titus DeCosta that he can find a ton of treasure if he makes a leap of faith into the void. Titus makes a leap of faith, falls, smashes his face on a bridge on the way down. The chemical ladies giggle. (50 exp)

- Vengeance is taken and combat ensues. Results: Jack "Danger" Wilbur is dead. Leo is unconscious from self-inflicted head wounds. Aurora is unconscious. A pyrrhic victory. (50 exp)

- To the victor, the spoils. The chemical ladies are stripped for valuables, specifically their black diamond hearts and eyes like broken geodes. The party's future survival is uncertain (50 exp)

Total: 850 exp

Misc:

- AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)

- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- What Could possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (Aurora, Leo - 100 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (500 exp to Oli's next character)
- Lonely Death bonus (500 exp to Kyle's next character)
- Noble Sacrifice bonus (1000 exp to Renzo's next character)

Total: 400 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- DWARF, lowered into the infinite blackness beneath the earth, eaten by a giant bat.

- Aurora's labradoodle, killed by a doom tapestry
- Titus DeCosta, persuaded to jump to his doom by a skinny chemical woman.
- Jack "Danger" Wilbur, lower body frozen and hardened into dark stone by attacks of skinny chemical women, shattered into pieces.
- Leo, unconscious with chemical burns all over.
- Aurora, unconscious but otherwise unharmed.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 16740 (Level up at 17600)
-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2328 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!*+1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble rolls!

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 5 Cleric: 15788 (Level up at 28000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to Saves! +1 Level 2 Spell per day! +1 Level 3 Spell per day!

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6649 (Level up at 7000)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 2 Cleric: 2625 (Level up at 3500)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 1 Spell per day!

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 2 Barbarian: 2962 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian table!

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 2962 (Level up at 4400)

*DING!* +1d10 HP!

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

*DING!* +???

Kyle / Dwain William Arthus Remus Froide, Level 2 Dwarf: 2704 (Level up at 4400) *Deceased*

Oli / Titus DeCosta, Level 2 Cleric: 3004 (Level up at 3500) *Deceased*

Renzo / Jack "Danger" Wilbur, Level 1 Fighter: 739 (Level up at 2000) *Deceased*

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 49 - Dam Nation

That went well! 

Thanks again to Josh who's running the alternate game at the Meetup. And thanks also to the people who moved over. You have done us a great service!

It's Pathfinder in case that means something to you and you want to join his game. He probs has an extra slot or two. Talk to him about stuff!

We'll see what happens with game numbers in future, but if things stay stable we're hopefully out of the frying pan.

Fungonius has decided (or err, divined?) that his holy cleric charm thing gives you a +1 to poison saves. Get them while they're hot! All it takes is one little taking-no-other-god-before-him!

Cleric charms are now as follows -

Fungonius' Great Shroomy One: +1 to Poison Saves.

Titus' Crossbow God: +1 to hit with crossbows.

Leo's God of Darkness: +1 to hit in the dark.

Tobias' Unspecified God makes your weapon heat up. (He's also joined Josh's game)

Gamewise, there was a lot of running around and figuring out golem stuff and getting Simon eaten by a fish. The golems are after you, there's a witch sliding around underwater in a town where the kids already killed her eight times, a giant bird, a war on between newt people and a reed village, and getting the hell out of dodge is likely just as hard as continuing on inwards.

It's all just the sort of horrible chaos you know to expect from this place. 

Buuuut you're past the dam now and there are no more giant fishes in water this shallow. At least that map said there'd be phat lewt around!

Session 49 - Dam Nation

Campaign date:
Sunday, 8 September, 1549
Moon phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

Enemies defeated:

- Giant pike caught and released (100 exp)
- Corpse-thing underwater scared off (250 exp)
- Turbine golem knocked from a great height (750 exp)
- A bunch of huge leeches (250 exp)

Total: 1350 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Precious Ambergris (300 exp)

Total: 300 exp

Exploration:

- Several miles travelled (20 exp)

- 2 randoms encountered (40 exp)

- Entered Pollnagollum, witch village (100 exp)
- Entered Pollnacrom, battered village (100 exp)

- Climbed the dam and beheld the drained lake within (200 exp)
- Entered the village of the reed people (100 exp)

- Crossed the outspread wings of the huge and dying eagle (100 exp)
- Beheld the pyrite-crusted longships sunk into the silt (100 exp)

Total: 700 exp

Events:

- Inspected the dam, fled from golem (50 exp)

- Sent Wit "Simon" Tamdoun on a rope to inspect the vast gold glimmering underwater. (50 exp)
- Caught a giant pike :( ... (50 exp)

- Escaped from giant pike by rowing with CARTOONISH ZEAL (50 exp)

- Talked to villagers on roofs of Pollnagollum, saw the corpse-witch drifting under the water (50 exp)

- Went to other village of Pollnacrom, baited golem towards dam. (50 exp)
- Climbed dam with godly blessings. Attracted all golems in valley. Left horse behind, took pig. (50 exp)

- Managed to throw first golem off wall with four flasks of oil, booked it. (50 exp)

- Spoke with the funny looking newt-like Kapeks. (50 exp)

- Attempted to speak with olive-skinned people of the reed village, nobody speaks the language. (50 exp)

- Left the reed village to be attacked by the Kapeks (50 exp)

- Saved enormous eagle from the leeches that were feasting upon it (50 exp)

- Attempted to speak with pyrite-crusted reed village dead in their pyrite-crusted longships. They were amazed at crossbow technology, but no speaky the english. (50 exp)

- Climbed up to mirrored scoops on mountainsides to rest and hopefully recuperate. (50 exp)

Total: 700 exp

Misc:

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Mountaineer bonus (50 exp)

- This is Madness! bonus (50 exp)

- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Quests and Rumours:

- The corpse-witch of Pollnagollum can't be killed in the same way twice. She has one life left.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Wit "Simon" Tamdoun, accidentally used as bait for a giant pike.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 14278 (Level up at 17600)
-- Mr Burg, Level 1 Fighter: 1097 (Level up at 2000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 4 Cleric: 13326 (Level up at 14000)

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 4087 (Level up at 7000)

Oli / Titus DeCosta, Level 2 Cleric: 3004 (Level up at 3500)

-- Wit "Simon" Tamdoun, Level 0 Ragamuffin *Deceased*

Kyle / Dwain William Arthus Remus Froide, Level 2 Dwarf: 2704 (Level up at 4400)

Renzo / Jack "Danger" Wilbur, Level 1 Fighter: 739 (Level up at 2000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 1 Cleric: 1646 (Level up at 1750)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 48 - Survival tip: Throw rocks at monsters that are ignoring you

The expedition towards the dam continues, and many weird and wonderful giant and horrible beasts are seen.

But first off and most importantly - splitting the group.

I don't know how you guys want to do this, but with the constant stream of newbies and returning players things are most assuredly swamped.

I'm also saddened because Renzo has dropped out to help numbers despite being the longest running player.

So! Enter Josh.

He's got a few options available so I encourage people to email him about it. At the very least he can get some one-shots going.

Volunteers would be preferable, otherwise we'll have to dice for it or have a seniority-based pecking order or just have a first-in-best-dressed policy or something. That gets messy!

I'll put a soft limit of 6 players on the game for now. As in if (when) we get 7+ players we'll divide. Hopefully this will work!

For the faithful - several Clerics have decided on their gods' bonuses.

Titus' Crossbow God grants a +1 to hit with crossbows.

Leo's God of Darkness grants +1 to hit in the dark.

Tobias' Unspecified God makes your mace heat up for some reason.

Fungonius' Great Shroomy One grants ???

How do you claim a bonus? Simply worship their god and bear a holy symbol they've Blessed on a Sunday.

In game happenings -  Everything is awful! Everything is bad when you fall in the stream!

More badness in the flood crisis. Treasure and giant animals that don't belong in fantasy-england floating down from the shattered dam. Big stone turbine-faced golems lumbering through the slowly-moving floodwater. An enormous brown shell shuffling slowly through the mire, scarred with battle damage from enormous teeth.

It's all pretty fucked up and everything wants to eat you.

And of course, beings of pure terror stalk the waterways -

"It has returned: the most dangerous duck-billed platypus to ever walk the earth. The battle begins once more."

Session 48 - Survival tip: Throw rocks at monsters that are ignoring you

Campaign date:
Sunday, 7 September, 1549
Moon phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:

- Larry the Elf, Galumfy Dotard and Village Idiot. Armed with a sausage and jarate.

Enemies defeated:

- Ruskin Behaviour, shanked within his Wall of Fog (250 exp)

- Rem Koolhaüs, scared off into the air (250 exp)

- Smoke demon, fled from (0 exp)

- Octagon-headed turbine golem, fled from (0 exp)

- 3-metre pike, fled from (0 exp)

- Cow-sized killer platypus, baited into range of huge cuttlefish, albeit accidentally (250 exp)

- Several sheep, thrown to placate huge cuttlefish (0 exp)

- Huge cuttlefish, persuaded to let you leave the hillock alive (250 exp)

Total: 1000 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 10 vials of water from church altar.

- 10 circular wafers from church altar

- a large lens

- Gold-etched ceramic statuette, vaguely Egyptian (400 exp)

- Gold dust scraped from 2 corpse's mouths (100 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Exploration:

- Entered the washed-up Church (100 exp)

- Meddled with the affairs of wizards (100 exp)

- Beheld the fat fat toads feasting upon the dead until they burst (100 exp)

- Entered the copse of corpses (100 exp)

- Climbed the single remaining hill (100 exp)

- Reached the broken dam (100 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Events:

- One section of the party are given a skiff by Starry Hrad, told to prove that there is no gold upstream. Reward offered. (50 exp)

- Other section rides to the washed-up church, breaks and enters, loots. Huge, pale toads spotted. Peggy Pigrider shows up! (50 exp)

- Paddled upstream to check out wizards arguing on submerged bridge. Neither wizard wants help. Neither wizard notices the giant hungry pike circling under the water. Scepticism from party at whether they're really wizards kicks off actual wizard duel. (50 exp)

- One wizard flies, the other smokescreens. Davril Burtey sneaks into fog to shank smokescreen wizard. He is successful but unfortunately falls into water on the way back to be gobbled up by the giant pike. (50 exp)

- Other party members try to shoot down flying wizard. They are unsuccessful and he flies off. Svalborg accidentally drops his custom-made silenced multi-shot repeater crossbow into the water. (50 exp)

- Nobody sees Davril die, only a lot of blood ominously drifting out from the smoke cloud. What they do see is a pillar of smoke absorbing all the fog into its erupting form, spreading its immaterial wings and setting its weird negative-space eggs all a-quiver. It basically looks like this guy. The party quickly flees as the monster dives into the water. (50 exp)

- Further along, a large golem with an octagonal head and a turbine for a face is seen wading after a valuable-looking statuette. Party snatch statuette via child on a rope, evade golem. (50 exp)

- Corpse copse entered. Gold dust scraped from a dead man's mouth but it is decided that this is not the most lucrative means of getting treasure and is, of course, kinda yucky. A bedraggled Elf is pulled out of the water after a rock is thrown at a giant platypus for no reason. (50 exp)

- Platypus chases boat towards hillock, but is grabbed and eaten by tentacles from below. Everyone gets onto the hillock to escape whatever it is down there. Hillock contains many farm animals and a pack of wolves in an uneasy truce. (50 exp)

- Peggy Pigrider adopts a pig. (50 exp)

- Scroll-bearing scholar, Tzani Spillios, is Commanded to hand over his Speak with Animals scroll. It is cast (targeting cephalopods) and the tentacle monster turns out to be a huge cuttlefish. Cuttlefish is helpful, having a great time. It says it won't attack boats. (50 exp)

- Floating corpse of tattooed mystic found floating down the river. No sign of skiff or glowing mace. His mouth-gold is taken and his head removed. (50 exp)

- Party leaves, arrives at dam. A turbine golem is sticking its face into one of the slots at the base of the dam. It looks like it's praying. It keeps removing its head and sticking it back in. desperately. It is getting dark and so people wrap up for the night. (50 exp)

Total: 650 exp

Misc:

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Doolittle bonus (50 exp)

- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)

- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)

- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)

- PETA bonus (50 exp)

- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)

- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

- Vore bonus (50 exp)

Total: 450 exp

Quests and Rumours:

- Starry Hrad, mercenary leader, wants proof that there is no treasure upriver to stop gold-hunting scumbags from invading her bedraggled town. How she expects you to prove a negative is not stated.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Davril Burtey of Thujin Veil, shanked a wizard in a wall of fog but was thrown into the water. Devoured by a giant 3-metre pike after putting out its eye.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 13778 (Level up at 17600)
-- Mr Burg, Level 1 Fighter: 847 (Level up at 2000)

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 4 Cleric: 12826 (Level up at 14000)

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 3587 (Level up at 7000)

*DING!* +1D6 hp! +1 Level 1 spell/day!

Oli / Titus DeCosta, Level 2 Cleric: 2504 (Level up at 3500)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to saves! +1 goblin minion!

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Kyle / Dwain William Arthus Remus Froide, Level 2 Dwarf: 2204 (Level up at 4400)

*DING!* +1d12 HP!

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

-- Wit "Simon" Tamdoun, Level 0 Ragamuffin

Josh / Davril Burtey of Thujin Veil, Level 1 Magic-User: DeceasedJosh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Renzo / Jack "Danger" Wilbur, Level 1 Fighter: 239 (Level up at 2000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 1 Cleric: 1646 (Level up at 1750)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 47 - "Does anyone else just wanna like, go home? This place is fucked."

Our intrepid crew enter Dwimmermount, break into the biggest treasure vault on the first level, clear it out, then spend the next couple of weeks travelling around and going to an end-of-month markets and generally having a good time.

But there was also an old map showing a dam beneath which a dying culture locked their old and ancient treasures and assuredly incredible wealth.

Obviously, they followed. 

They arrived in the middle of a humanitarian disaster. Flood waters everywhere, people trying to save their kids, everything was horrible. And that's basically where we ended for the night!

For all - Despite having slightly fewer people due to the long weekend, we're going to have a whole bunch of people coming back next week. But! A light shines in the darkness! 

Josh from last week says he's happy to run a game, so he'll bring stuff next week.

For Clerics - Oli's had a rad idea, especially since we've got a few different Clerics going at the moment. 

You can Bless some sort of holy trinket and give it to someone who believes in your god. Cast Bless on the thing on a Sunday and it lasts all week.

His one is going to give +1 to hit with crossbows if the bearer is an adherent of the Crossbow God.

What your own holy charm thing does is up to you! But it should be related to your deity somehow and at that sort of general power level.

Since you all just levelled up, I'm totally just going to say that this is something Clerics can do once they reach level 2.

For potential god-cult converts - What's that? You're going to wear like 5 of these charms and just change what deity you worship on the fly in to activate different bonuses? 

If you swap deities you can never gain the benefits of the old god's charm ever again, even if you swap back.

For mad inventors - Last session Svalborg started planning a bunch of mad inventions. But how will we know if they work?! Basically roll Tinkering (or the Tinkering of the guy who made it) every time you try to use it and if it succeeds then it works!

For sneaky people - Related to the last thing, you roll your own Stealth checks now. Instead of rolling it when you start sneaking, roll it whenever you might be discovered. OooOOOoOooo.

Session 47 - "Does anyone else just wanna like, go home? This place is fucked."

Campaign date:
Sunday, 7 September, 1549
Moon phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:

- Calen, a former Halfling Greengrocer, now a sling-master with just the best selection of herbs and spices. Not all the herbs are for cooking if you know what I mean.

Enemies defeated:

- 6 glowing beetles, roasted by fiery explosion. (60 exp)

- A priest weeping on the roof of his church, nutted by Calen's slingstone (0 exp)

- Alfredo Jahn the blonde-bearded fighting man, decapitated along with... (75 exp)

- Veshtoroc the lady with one side beautiful the other wizened, by DWARF's mighty axe as he charged in on the back of a warhorse (75 exp)

Total: 210 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 8000 sp (8000 sp)

- Bucket of mysterious black liquid, taken by Tobias

- Shield-shaped aquila brooch attracts and absorbs Magic Missiles, claimed by Calem

- Thick bone wand with a star on the end shoots Magic Missiles - 11 charges, claimed by Calem

- Blackened copper gladius goes on fire when swung in anger, claimed by DWARF

- Map to a location on the antimagic Wall with Latin writing.

- Svalborg creates a repeating heavy crossbow. Pierces 2 points of armour, 1d6 damage, reloads every round, 5 round magazine.

- Svalborg creates several different ammo types: Clean Tip (armour piercing, pierces 4 points of armour), Gross Tip (flesh mangler, no armour piercing, 1d10 damage), Iron Core (1d3 damage, never kills), Scatter Shot (bunch of mini-arrows like a 1d6 damage breath weapon).

- Drowned corpse's mouthful of gold dust (50 exp)

- Silvered necklace (500 exp)

- Spellbook containing 6 unidentified spells.

Total: 8550 exp

Exploration:

- 5 dungeon rooms explored (100 exp)

- 100 or so miles travelled (360 exp)

- First party to enter Breasdon (100 exp)

- First party to enter Carrowmore (200 exp)

- First party to behold the breach in the dam (400 exp)

Total: 1160 exp

Events:

- The party enters Dwimmermount, Leo immediately triggers rock fall trap (50 exp)

- Found many poorly made dwarfs stone dead (ha). All killed by insect bites (50 exp)

- Set off gas trap safely (50 exp)

- Set off burning floor trap very unsafely (50 exp)

- Carved "fucking nothing, and I fucked your mum" into the doorpost of an empty storeroom.

- Svalborg picks a locked door with only a fishing hook and a halfling-sized paring knife (50 exp)

- Did a bunch of between-times stuff like buying stuff, going to the bank, getting items identified, translating the Latin on the map, inventing things, and travelling to an end-of-month market in Breasdon. (50 exp)

- Travelled up towards the place on the map, found the town of Carrowmore in the grips of a huge flood. (50 exp)

- Saved some children on a raft, leaving a drowning priest to his doom and allowing a bedraggled man to drag his dying wife away. (50 exp)

- Met an insane lady yelling "UNCLEAN MEAT" who wandered off and talked to a lady who said all the drowned bodies have gold in their mouths. (50 exp)

- Caught a boy about to pick your pocket, his name is Wit Tamdoun but you called him Simon, in the village a teacher loses control of her children and they run off into the drowning town (50 exp)

- Warned a family that a house was about to fall on them, when you looked back towards the creepy man leading a child astray he was gone (50 exp)

- Prevented a child from robbing a man with a spyglass, in the town a sailor is lynched for crimes he didn't commit. (50 exp)

- Scared off some armoured mercenaries who were facing down a group of adventuring types and shot a priest weeping on the roof of his church with a sling, further up the river a boat full of sailors slays the refugees trying to crawl up the sides and save themselves. (50 exp)

- Talked to motley band of strange adventurers, ended up attacking them and killing two. The last, a naked tattooed guy with a glowing mace, escaped in a skiff. (50 exp)

- Began to approach a church that had been washed against a promontory, but were scared off by ominous croaking before the end of session. (50 exp)

Total: 800 exp

Misc:

- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)

- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)

- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)

- Twelve-Year-Old on XBox Live bonus (50 exp)

- Shopping Spree bonus (100 exp)

- Failed Saving Throw bonus (Leo, Tobias - 100 exp ea.)

- Near Death Experience bonus (Leo - 100 exp)

Total: 350 exp + bonuses

Business Ventures:

- Anvil, Mining & Craft Inc. Current value: 1528sp

Bonuses at +2 from buying the boat and crew and setting up a trading post.

Quests and Rumours:

- Map writing translated from Latin: 

"There is a kingdom of unspeakable wealth that

trades in dark wonders, secrets and death. And many of the strange

things now on earth are theirs. They draw their power and magic

from a place, and guard it fiercely against all. Now, out of spite

as their kingdom slowly dies, they hide their treasure

palace in the lake, and set there: sleepless and indestructible guards.

All know where it is, on the Lock, upriver of Carrowcester.

No-one who goes there has ever come back.”

- The undead cannot cross running water, we are safe here across the River Deeprush.

- Weapons are outlawed in Edge save for among the upper classes.

- There are markets held in Breasdon every month. While you can buy and sell at excellent prices, the merchants serve a darker power.

- The towns on either end of the Mendicant Road from Gush to the Twinned Cities are starting to charge a toll, the bastards.

- There are all these super hot prostitutes in Edge, but nobody knows where they came from.

- Summer has meant that wolves are less aggressive in the mountains, but stranger and more dangerous things can be found in those peaks.

- Death Knights are attacking Moondin. Good luck to them! I hope they all just wipe each other out.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today!

Exp Totals:

Leo / Leo, Level 2 Cleric: 3204 (Level up at 3500)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 1 spell/day! +can create holy charms!

Oli / Titus DeCosta, Level 2 Cleric: 2121 (Level up at 3500)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 1 spell/day! +can create holy charms!

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 1 Goblin: 1821 (Level up at 2000)

Kyle / Dwain William Arthus Remus Froide, Level 1 Dwarf: 1821 (Level up at 2200)

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 1821 (Level up at 3500)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 1 spell/day! +can create holy charms!

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Renzo / Jack "Danger" Wilbur, Level 1 Fighter: 239 (Level up at 2000)

Dominic / Fungonius, Level 4 Cleric: 12443 (Level up at 14000)

Josh / Davril Burtey of Thujin Veil, Level 1 Magic-User: 439 (Level up at 2250)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 1 Cleric: 1646 (Level up at 1750)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 4 Dwarf: 13395 (Level up at 17600)
-- Mr Burg, Level 1 Fighter: 655 (Level up at 2000)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human