Session 164 - What Happens in the Four Dimensional Art Gallery...

Santa is dead. 4D art is very strange. A dark and murderous new Santa takes flight.

Plus Galaxy Johnson witnesses a gay orgy. I don't know why Charles blames me for that, it was his spell fuckup.

Session's today, so here goes!

Session 164 - What Happens in the Four Dimensional Art Gallery...

Campaign Date:

Wednesday, 18 December, 1600

Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent

Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:
- Aces Fontaine, a gambler from Edge who worked in the Greater Edge Library until his gambling habits and the demonic invasion forced him out.

New Backstory:

- Hurtful things were said about Rambunctious Crumpet, but he made them hurt just as much. (Once per session, deal us much damage as you just took to your attacker)
- Sir Robyn moved to the city in his youth to make connections for his family and fell into studying law. It's a glamorous career and he liked the hats. His lecturer, a raccoon called Professor Scamps, suggested they go on the road to gain experience as a journeyman lawyer. That's how he got where he is today. (+1 Charisma)
- It turns out that Ratimir idolises Bertha as someone who came from a lowly background and uses her powers and connections to genuinely make life better for people. The true spirit of communism. (When Bertha succeeds at something, Ratimir gets a +1 to doing the same thing)

Enemies Defeated:

- An extradimensional art yeti (1000 exp)

Total: 1000 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A gold demon mask (500 exp)
- A snowglobe containing a tiny model of Fortress-City Fate (10 exp)
- A number of small individually precious objects (60 exp)

Total: 506 exp

Exploration:

- First party to enter the Four Dimensional Art Gallery (100 exp)
- Explored 7 dungeon areas (140 exp)
- A secret door found (50 exp)

Total: 290 exp

Events:

- We open on that cliffhanger, raccoon familiar soaring through the air towards Oshregaal, contents of the table in midair after a failed attempt to sweep the tablecloth out from under the food. (50 exp)
- The raccoon lands and food and drink smashes to the ground. Oshregaal is laughing uproariously at the entertainment. But SUDDENLY a christmassy jingle of bells is heard followed by an explosion! (50 exp)
- Oshregaal tries to command the barbarians around the dinner table to go check it out, but they're all strung out on blood honey and in no shape to do anything. Reluctantly, Oshregaal asks the party to go check it out. He does keep Randy as a guest/storyteller/hostage though. (50 exp)

- Stepping out onto the chilly mountain road, a thin plume of smoke can be seen rising higher up the slope. An ominous "ho ho ho" can be heard, and vague shadowy figures with eyes like coals can be seen moving around up there. (50 exp)

- By the time the party reach the crash site, the beings are gone. There's lots of smashed blobs of meat that hit the ground at high speed and a whole lot of blood, and a very quaint christmassy sleigh. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn is consulted on the legality of looting a downed aircraft, who kicks the question on to Professor Scamps. It's totally legal! (50 exp)
- Near the downed sleigh, the very shiny red nose of a smashed up reindeer flickers out like a bad lightbulb. Rambunctious cries.  In the sleigh, a fat man in a red suit has been gored, stabbed, gutted, and suffered all sorts of horrid fates. His jaw is partially torn off, and he chokes his last shuddering breaths through the gore. (50 exp)

- A thin gold mask lies on the floor of the sleigh. Professor Scamp is sent to grab it and put it on Santa's face, but nothing happens. Nothing continues to happen when Rambunctious tries to put the mask on. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson uses a beam-light-mass glyph to temporarily heal Santa's jaw, but all he can mouth before he dies is "tis the season to be greedy... purchase... consume...". As he dies his body begins turning into mud, and a snowglobe with a small model Fate inside is revealed inside his chest. (50 exp)

- Santa's expanding silk sack is grabbed. Strange lights can be seen spinning and spiraling above Pembrooktonshire, occasionally plummeting to burn and kill something in the town below, but the screams are ignored. Also seen nearby - a circle of standing stones picturing people being eaten by some great monster. A trail leads to a nearby cave. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn sees the strange language and recognises it from his studies! It's the language of the Yeti, and it says that this is a four-dimensional art gallery! (50 exp)
- Interest piqued, the party enter the cave. The walls drip with moisture, and they decide to follow the exhibit numbers. The first artwork is a block of black basalt that radiates a faint heat. Sir Robyn reads the nearby plaque out of interest. (50 exp)

- The next exhibit is a strange twisting sculpture that seems to almost move. While everyone else appreciates the artwork, Nix smells a dank damp smell and sees smoking eyes in the darkness, but as soon as she turns to warn the others the eyes are gone. (50 exp)

- Moving in further, a few skeletons are seen lying on the ground in an alcove. Rambunctious Crumpet smashes them up, and the name of the artist on the nearby plaque changes to Rambunctious Crumpet. Or was it always so? (50 exp)
- There is a big frozen pool of water ahead filling the cavern. The party are just beginning to discuss how they'll get across when Galaxy Johnson is grabbed by a massive furry hand from behind! Miraculously, he manages to stop it from dragging him back into the darkness! (50 exp)

- POWERLAD acts quickly, smashing it with a massive Magic Missile punch to the fucking jaw. It flies into the darkness, howling. (50 exp)

- Yeti dealt with, the question of how to get across the ice comes back up. It cracks when stepped on, so that's no good. Sir Robyn comes up with the idea of expanding a toy boat from Santa's sack, and the SS Kickass is born! Now about the size of a pedallo, it's perfect. (50 exp)

- Paddling along with bits of broken sleigh, they go down some rapids into warmer water. The next exhibit after making landfall is a flat visually distressing pool or perhaps an opening to a vivid unbroken flat red colour. A rock is thrown in, and it falls forever until it's out of sight. (50 exp)
- In the next room is a door that is the concept of a door. Every person sees it as the door they see in their mind's eye when told to picture a normal door. There's lots of art inside! (50 exp)

- There's a lot of weird shit in here. A hanging marble block with shifting light upon it. A mirror that reflects your residual self-image. A violent explosion of black glass caught in time. It's all so interesting that nobody notices that the giant hand has grabbed Galaxy Johnson again and pulled him silently into the darkness. (50 exp)
- Before he can be strangled to death, he snap-casts an explosion beam! It blows him and the Yeti away from each other and it disappears into the darkness again! Sir Robyn yells out to try and talk to the yeti, but all it says is to use coupon code MYBROTHER for money off at the gift shop. (50 exp)
- They move on, and find another concept of a door behind which are identical exhibits. Hmmm. It seems that this corridor actually loops back round into the same room! (50 exp)

- Also found - a secret room behind a wall that was never there with a large sphere of rock simultaneously in all states of creation and decomposition. Possibly the entrance for four dimensional visitors. (50 exp)
- In an attempt to kill the yeti, a plan is enacted. Galaxy Johnson will again be within reaching distance... but he'll be roped onto everyone else. They set the trap, the others pretend to remark on the art, and Galaxy Johnson is grabbed! (50 exp)
- Galaxy begins to be crushed by the massive paw of the massive beast, but a dead accurate crossbow bolt from POWERLAD and a massive punch from an Enlarged Nix kill the beast! It falls backwards onto a pedestal surrounded by red velvet ropes. The plaque says the piece was a collaboration between several artists. (50 exp)

- With that whole area explored, it's time to get back into the boat. Galaxy spell-swaps to Enlarge and... CHAOS REIGNS! The magical energy goes awry and everyone except Galaxy Johnson and Nix suddenly becomes hopelessly aroused! (50 exp)
- It's a very tactile exhibit. Ahem. While the all-male orgy goes on with considerable intensity, Galaxy Johnson watches on with horror while Nix takes the opportunity to work on her map. Apparently this is nothing particularly outrageous to a Barbarian. Notably, Rambunctious Crumpet uses his ability to "reflect damage back on the attacker" to make things very interesting for his lover. (50 exp)

- In distant Moondin, Bertha wonders how POWERLAD is doing. (50 exp)
- Some time later the orgy peters out. What happens in the four dimensional art gallery stays in the four dimensional art gallery. Unfortunately the Enlarge spell has worn off the boat by now. Was the gay orgy for nothing?! (50 exp)
- Apparently yes. POWERLAD casts Fly, Sir Robyn casts Floating Disk, and together they ferry the rest of the characters across the frozen pond. (50 exp)
- Just as they're reaching the exit, a small personally precious item appears rotating in front of each of them. POWERLAD gets a locket with Bertha's face on it, Rambunctious gets a golden ship that spins around his head, Ratimir gets a small copy of Carl Mouse's Communist Mousifesto, stuff like that. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn states coupon code MYBROTHER and receives a parallel reality version of his raccoon familiar! They're not great friends since one specialises in prosecution and the other specialises in defence, but they're both familiars! (50 exp)

- Upon exiting the cave the lights can still be seen spiralling through the air over the burning town of Pembrooktonshire. One by one, they peel off and shoot overhead towards somewhere in the south. Evil Santa's on the warpath! (50 exp)

- The party argue over whether they should bother rescuing Randy from his fate in Oshregaal's house. Nix and POWERLAD, who know Randy was abandoned by his former party and don't want to do that to the poor guy again, advocate saving him. (50 exp)
- Nix goes in alone, finding the party winding down. Randy is lying on Oshregaal's lap, telling him his life story. A tear rolls down his face when he sees Nix came back for him! Nix chats with Oshregaal for a while, talking about being a demons and stuff. (50 exp)
- He invites everyone to sleep over in his comfy spare bedrooms, but Nix declines. Oshregaal tells her that she and her friends are invited to his next party. Nix and Randy knock on the door to signal that they're ready to leave... and panic when nobody opens the door!! Nix tugs frantically at the handle and is massively relieved when the demon butler opens the door with a look of confusion. It wasn't a trap! (50 exp)
- As she leaves, she passes Rambunctious Crumpet who's coming in to collect the party's coats. The three-armed butler at the coat check can sense he's no longer a virgin and winks. (50 exp)
- He asks how to become a demon, and the butler tells him that he can show him. Rambunctious follows the demon up to a bedroom, feeling pretty sketchy. Apparently dying in the vicinity of the black sun means you're reborn as a demon. (50 exp)
- Rambunctious consents to being killed by erotic strangulation, and during the act he causes his golden floating ship to penetrate the butler. Because of course. Rambunctious Crumpet dies, but at least he enjoyed it. (50 exp)
- ... and somewhere, in some place, under a red sky and a black sun, a shape emerges from the muck and mud at the side of a slowly moving river. Smooth black stones fall from its slopping vaguely-human form as it gasps a first shuddering breath. Another demon is born. (50 exp)

Total: 2250 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Coitus boners (50 exp)- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Homoerotic bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOOOoOOooOky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp) 

Total: 950 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)

- Caller (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Guard (Tom / Aces Fontaine - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Extra exp for Ollie's gnarly art attacks last time I forgot (Ollie / Andromeda - 400 exp)

Active Businesses:

- Bone Alone. Wild. 302sp. (Zena's Stake: 201sp, Carrie's Stake: 101sp)

- Honey Healing. Safe. 2034sp. (Nix's Stake: 1696sp. Bertha's Stake: 338sp)

Rumours:

- -

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None!

Exp Totals:

- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 75951 (Level up at 128000)

-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
--- Randy, Level 2 Hench-Dwarf: 3655 (Level up at 4400)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 67078 (Level up at 72000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)

- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 5 Elf (Alpdrucke): 24013 (Level up at 48000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!

-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)

- James / Ratimir, Level 5 Ratman: 18365 (Level up at 24000)- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 2 Magic-User: 2915 (Level up at 4500)
- Tom / Rambunctious Crumpet, Level 2 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 1546 (Level up at 3000)*DECEASED*

- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)

Absent or Retired:

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 22418 (Level up at 36000)
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)

- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)

- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)

- Nix's Retainer

--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling

- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)

- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Session 163 - Honey Trap

And we're back! After many weeks of hopefully good/relaxing/fun christmas and new year, the party decides to go deeper into the mountains and eventually reach the demon-haunted slopes of Dwimmermount.

But on the way... someone's invited them to a party??

Session 163 - Honey Trap

Campaign Date:

Sunday, 13 December, 1600

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent

Zodiac: Ophiuchus

New Characters:
- Sir Robyn, a lawyer who discovered the magical powers of legalese. Is possibly a paralegal for the real lawyer - his raccoon familiar.
- Rambunctious Crumpet - a dung collector from Pembrooktonshire who's very good at being sneaky.

New Backstory:

- Randy turned himself in when an innocent man was being punished in his place. (May force randomly targeted attacks to target you)

Enemies Defeated:

- 4 bee-filled figures (400 exp)

Total: 400 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 167 doses of Blood Honey (8350 exp)
- A handcart

Total: 8250 exp

Exploration:

- Travelled 12 miles or so (40 exp)
- First party to enter Pembrooktonshire (200 exp)
- First party to enter Oshregaal's Place (200 exp)

Total: 240 exp

Events:

- In Cound, Nix is busy leading the overweight population in a series of exercise classes while POWERLAD recovers from his brush with death. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson soon reaches the town followed by new arrival Sir Robyn and, controversially, Andromeda Spiderbite. The Butcher of Moondin is here, assuming that all is well now that RISEN has allied with the Rebel Dead. POWERLAD keeps a lid on his emotions... mostly. (50 exp)

- It's a long lonely mountain road to Dwimmermount, so it's decided to stop off in Pembrooktonshire on the way and check the place out. (50 exp)
- After a couple of hours on the road, Andromeda's horse kicking up snow and rock, with the accusing eye of the black sun over Dwimmermount occasionally drifting into view, the party see a bunch of naked people. (50 exp)
- They're hiding behind rocks and bushes, looking the other way and waiting for a couple with a handcart to follow the road round an outcropping of rock. Occasionally a bee will fly out of one's mouth and into another's.  "I bet they're full of bees" says Sir Robyn. (50 exp)

- Andromeda decides to warn the couple and cuts across some boggy rubbly terrain to do so. Unfortunately they are terrified, possibly because they got a glimpse of her bundled up pet basilisk, and run up the scree to escape (50 exp)
- The rest of the party on the road the nude people stirring, confused, at all the noise. There is a flurry of activity as bees fly back and forth between their ears and mouths. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD calls out, and the naked bee people turn to look. The lead one speaks in a buzzing voice as he deflects questions and they cautiously approach the party. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Andromeda tries to persuade the couple that she's no threat, though they keep throwing rocks at her. The husband offers an invitation to a party at "Oshregaal's Mansion" in exchange for their safety and a bemused Andromeda accepts. (50 exp)
- Communication breaks down with the bee people due to a sneaky Nix failing to quietly climb the rocky outcrop to get behind them. Two enraged bee people scrabble up the slope to attack her, while the other two buzz confusedly. (50 exp)
- Andromeda, across the boggy patch of ground, fires her arquebus from horseback and practically deconstructs the lead bee person! The skin flops back, revealing swarming bees and rich red honey dripping from internal honeycomb! (50 exp)

- POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson open fire with crossbows and explosion beams, while Sir Robyn blasts one with Fairie Fire and tells him that it's actual fire! The bee man scream-buzzes, falling for it completely! (50 exp)
- The bee people move in, even standing next to them means you get stung by the swirling swarms. Sir Robyn's raccoon familiar casts Hold Portal at the "on fire" bee man, locking the bees in their honeycombs! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD snap-casts an explosion beam glyph at close range, blasting the encroaching bee person away. Galaxy Johnson screams as he's stung by bees. (50 exp)
- Randy fires an enlarge beam at Nix, who uses her enhanced size and strength to tear the one in front of her in half, then slam the halves back together to crush all the bees! (50 exp)
- Andromeda pulls her pet basilisk's head out from the bag and rides across the boggy ground into the battle! Bee-shaped stones clatter to the ground as she rides. "HIVE A NICE DAY!" she screams gleefully. (50 exp)

- The last bee thing bugs out and runs away as fast as his buzzing legs can carry him. The party lets it go.  Gorgonzola the Basilisk scampers about greedily sucking up petrified bees. (50 exp)
- Rich red honey drips treacle-slowly from the honeycomb. Galaxy Johnson can't resist, and licks up a big finger of the stuff. (50 exp)
- Ratimir shows up just in time to see Galaxy Johnson start tripping balls. His every motion is dreamlike, each dream a motion. Is this real? Is he real? Galaxy Johnson greets Ratimir, but discovers he just imagined doing that. Did he dream Ratimir? How to say? (50 exp)

- The Faerie Fire'd and Hold Portal'd bee person presents a problem. It still lives, but how to transport its undamaged honeycomb? A gruesome idea is presented - wrap its whole body in the skin of the two destroyed bee people. Nice. (50 exp)
- But how to transport a whole apparently human corpse? Especially one wrapped in the flensed skin of two other people? Sir Robyn comes up with a flimsy legal pretext to lay claim to the couple's handcart and the body is loaded on there, along with Galaxy Johnson who's still tripping out. (50 exp)
- The couple's meagre belongings are dumped in the mud at the side of the road. Andromeda leaves a gold coin on top as recompense. The husband shouts out a thank you and his wife cries a lot. They're alive! (50 exp)
- They head off towards Pembrooktonshire, especially now that they've got a ton of druggy honey. Galaxy Johnson strokes the soft elastic skin of the bee person under its blanket and dreams strange dreams. (50 exp)
- In the early afternoon, Pembrooktonshire is reached! Slightly before the mountain pass opens out onto the town proper, there is a smooth pillared entrance to a brightly lit cave with "OSHREGAAL'S PLACE!" in glowing flickering neon above. Hey, that's the party we're invited to! (50 exp)
- They keep going into Pembrooktonshire for now, looking for an inn. The affluent, extremely racist and xenophobic populace shy away from the unashamed Ratimir and the ashen grey Galaxy Johnson. Sir Robyn peels off early to look for a lawyer's office and avoid becoming associated with these out-of-towners. (50 exp)

- The Last Stop, a disreputable but nice enough inn on the edge of town is the only place which will serve "foreigners". Rumours are heard within. Galaxy Johnson hears some very exciting rumour about his blood honey being worth millions of gold and all the ladies want to bang him, but alas he is just sitting in a corner staring into space. (50 exp)
- Fresh fancy clothes are purchased by those who care, being Andromeda, POWERLAD and Galaxy Johnson. Andromeda discovers that it's possible that she's married to POWERLAD in all adjacent realities, so she buys POWERLAD's clothes for him. Somewhere in distant Moondin, Bertha feels a chill. (50 exp)

- Galaxy's drugs are wearing off by now and he fills a bucket with the blood honey. Potentially useful in future? The party also overhears that games are on soon to choose a sacrifice for the dragon who lives in the mountains. Then he goes ahead and takes more honey. (50 exp)
- Oshregaal is enquired about. It seems he prefers to invite barbarians and other strange folk to his parties. Nobody is sure where his house came from, but it's there now. People from Pembrooktonshire rarely get an invite, very rude. (50 exp)
- Satisfied, the party head to Oshregaal's place. The cave is well lit with smooth walls. The front of a very art deco two storey mansion is built into the rock, most of the windows covered by curtains, and peacock noises come from a meandering garden path that leads into darkness. (50 exp)
- A dung collector from Pembrooktonshire has followed the party in, and he heads towards the peacock noises. Alas, he has no light source and decides not to investigate further. (50 exp)
- The rest go up to the double doors. The knocker is in the shape of a fat man's big belly, and technically proficient but uninspiring piano music can be heard through the door. (50 exp)
- A big two-headed man answers the door. One of the heads is drunk, the other very polite. They are wearing tails and both heads are wearing top hats. At the polite coughing of the sober head, the other holds a pale blue mask of a sleeping man over its face. (50 exp)
- Andromeda presents her invitation under a psuedonym and the party is invited within. Nix puts the purple demon mask over her face and tries to get in. The bouncer calls bullshit, Nix tries to headbutt him, and accidentally gets tangled up in the heads! It's a mess! The rest of the party awkwardly shuffle in as they untangle themselves. (50 exp)

- Galaxy Johnson, getting used to the honey feeling, sneakily climbs up the wall and smashes into the uncovered window above! He rolls, revealing the hundreds of guns hidden in his coat, and shoots all the corrupt cops in the room while lots of girls swoon and yell "you're so cool Galaxy Johnson!" (50 exp)
- He blinks, and he's inside the waiting room with the rest of the party. Another butler takes everyones coats. He has just the one head with a similar blue mask, but he does have three arms which helps with carrying coats. (50 exp)
- The party is invited towards the main dining room. Inside is a grand dining table covered in a variety of delicious and decadent food. At the head of the table sits a grotesquely fat man, mask tipped up on top of his head to allow easy access to food. Barbarians sit around the table, vacantly smiling at the party as they walk in. (50 exp)

- Sir Robyn steps forward to announce the arrival of Andromeda Buffy Spiderbite and party. He looks confused for a moment, then grins widely and booms out a big "Welcome! Thank you for coming!". The Barbarians glance up at the name, recognition in their dim eyes. (50 exp)
- Oshregaal invites them all to eat and be merry! Galaxy Johnson and Sir Robyn reveal their party gift - a bucket of delicious red honey. They slather it over the food on the Barbarian's plates, who quickly begin to eat, and Oshregaal himself pulls out big handfuls of the honey and slops it all over himself crying "ooHHH delicious! Such flavours!" (50 exp)
- He sees Nix's demon mask and says he'd be very interested in receiving it as a gift, and Andromeda attempts a party trick by whipping the table cloth off the table. It fails. Food is everywhere. Chaos! (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn lofts his raccoon familiar into the air and throws it at Oshregaal! This is all too much amusement for him, and he laughs uproariously as the raccoon scampers over his flesh!

- It's late. It's a cliffhanger. I sure hope nothing strangely Christmasy happens. (50 exp)

Total: 2100 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Next to Godliness bonus (50 exp)
- Mountaineer bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)

- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Guard (Ollie / Andromeda - 100 exp)

- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Ollie, Timothy - 500 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Active Businesses:

- Bone Alone. Wild. 302sp. (Zena's Stake: 201sp, Carrie's Stake: 101sp)

- Honey Healing. Safe. 2034sp. (Nix's Stake: 1696sp. Bertha's Stake: 338sp)

Rumours:

- Edge is overrun with demons and Dwarrow is full of refugees. Looters risk damnation by searching through their fallen homes.

- AM&C own the land that every dungeon rests beneath. They charge people to enter, and take a hefty cut of anything claimed.

- Halflings are on the run, demons got them leaving their hovels and coming among us good folk. Kill every last one you see, finish the Lord's work.

- Those who make deals with the devils are reborn as devils. Looters in Edge seen them crawling from river muck all bloody and wailing.

- Three East Unorthodox priests came through last week with a lot of followers. Didn't try to spread their word, paid their bills in good coin. We let them be.

- There's a plan to take a whole load of virgins out into the Drudge Wastes, attract them demons right over. Let the worms and the goblins deal with the damned.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None!

Exp Totals:

- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 75174 (Level up at 128000)

-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
--- Randy, Level 2 Hench-Dwarf: 3270 (Level up at 4400)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 66224 (Level up at 72000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 22018 (Level up at 36000)

- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 22982 (Level up at 24000)

-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)

- James / Ratimir, Level 5 Ratman: 17596 (Level up at 24000)- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 2 Magic-User: 2046 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 lvl 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Tom / Rambunctious Crumpet, Level 2 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 1546 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:

- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)

- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)

- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)

- Nix's Retainer

--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling

- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)

- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)