Session 160 - The Way of the Dragons

So it looks like the plan is to defeat the apocalypse by setting it against a whole other apocalypse, then working out how to defeat that apocalypse once it's defeated the first one.
It's basically the Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly disaster management technique, except that the fly is the size of a mountain and breathes gravity.

Next time on the party's diplomatic tour of Loegria's most destructive forces, it looks like the next stop is Dwimmermount to see what the demons are up to. Should be a laugh!

- Tom renders everyone's favourite early retiree, Spicy Mac.

Session 160 - The Way of the Dragons

Campaign Date:

Monday, 23 November, 1600

Moon Phase: First Quarter

Zodiac: Scorpio

New Backstory:

- The evil wizard who infiltrated Nix's family had concocted a dark and secretive experimental ritual. Nix shut it down, but ended up getting the blame! (Take half damage from traps other players set off)
- Coalminer Dan found the strange glowing meteorite in that cave and heard it speak inside his mind - "GIVE ME YOUR FLESH, HUMAN! I DEMAND IT!" (Once per session, cast a random spell)

Enemies Defeated:

- None defeated, but many friends made!

Total: 0 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Galaxy Johnson joined the Drakencult of Ereshkigal!
- Nix joined the Drakencult of Ereshkigal!
- POWERLAD joined the Drakencult of Ninhursag!

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- First party to visit the Head of Ninhursag (500 exp)
- About 40 miles of travel (140 exp)
- Randoms encountered (50 exp)

Total: 690 exp

Events:

- Leading off from last time, we zoom in to see one of the Banjo Fishwicks leading the party through the space time fuckery of the inside of the floating mountain. Spacial distortions, gravity flips, it's wild. Banjo's eyes sometimes become black gates into a starry black void when he blinks. (50 exp)

- Soon they reach the temple chamber of the Dragon itself. It is stirring, but asleep. Around it are priests in black robes, all of them temporal clone couples of POWERLAD and Andromeda. (50 exp)

- They are aghast and amazed at this anomalous POWERLAD in their midst, married not to Andromeda, but to some other chick! Bertha gets defensive. The group explain that "our" Andromeda died in a terrorist attack. (50 exp)
- They talk for a while about what the deal is with the dragon. They're trying to wake it in order to kill Shub-Niggurath through controlled gravitic demolition of the earth! (50 exp)

- The party is asked if they'd like to join the Drakencult of Ereshkigal. Galaxy Johnson is so down, and he manages to persuade Nix to join him. The rest of the party abstain, POWERLAD and Bertha intending to shop around a bit with the other dragons before committing. (50 exp)
- Kneeling before the great black dragon's head, Nix and Galaxy Johnson pledge their souls to Ereshkigal. Long may it reign! Their bond grants them more power over the Mass rune! (50 exp)

- Asking what the plan is, High Priest POWERLAD informs the party that Ereshkigal shall awaken and advance on Fate to destroy the massive tentacle that lays beneath it. It will rise in two months! (50 exp)
- The party take their leave, passing through a decaying cavern containing the William Fox-Shitts who worship the aspect of Decay. On a wall, clinging like a gecko, is a decrepit and rheumy-eyed dragon with tattered wings. It is not fucked with. (50 exp)
- At the entrance, Insanity Mammoths are called to fly the party down to the ground on their constantly mid-explosion wings. One last thing - where are the other dragons? There's one in Moondin, of course, and another one which roams the Drudge Wastes with a huge goblin machine on its back. Or so they say. (50 exp)

- One of the Insanity Mammoths mentions that no more duplicates are coming out of Dunnsmouth any more, and the party decide to go check it out. Having the Time Cube would be pretty great right now! (50 exp)
- They get dropped off to find that the area around Dunnsmouth is constantly resetting, basically like a big dome covered in a constant layer of fog. Galaxy Johnson reaches a hand into the dome and feels incredible pain! He snatches the hand back to find it covered in blisters. What the fuck is even going on in there? (50 exp)

- Oh well. The group move off towards Moondin to check out the other Drakencult they know about. On the way they see the brainless corpse of a victim of demon deer attack, and later, another corpse with its throat cut. (50 exp)
- They run into a group of people fleeing on the outskirts of Moondin. They're clearly also adventurers. Nix squares off against a couple of Barbarians in a scowling competition, while Galaxy Johnson strikes up a conversation with their wizard. They agree to meet in Fate later. (50 exp)

- Apparently the green dragon's cult has taken over the town, remade it in the dragon's image, and is poisoning people. Great. The groups part ways, and the party discover that yep Moondin sure is fucked! (50 exp)
- There's a big moat of magma, great crystal trees, lots of vegetation reclaiming the town in proper apocalyptic style. POWERLAD activates his Fly spell, which presents as electrical super-jumps. Very Infamous. (50 exp)

- He lands near a cultist guard in a green robe. On theme. POWERLAD persuades the cultist to take him to his leader with some smooth talking. Apparently everyone's already heard of POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party decides to head to the Necromancer HQ they remember hitting up last time they were in town. On the way there, a dude ushers them into his partially crystallised house. (50 exp)
- He's one of the resistance who's staying behind to underground railroad people out of the city. Ratimir is excited by the revolution. Fight the man! The dragon man! Apparently RISEN and the Necromancers have begrudgingly joined forced to resist the draconic incursion. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD has, by this point, been brought to the centre of town. A magma lake with crystal trees growing from it has an island in the middle with some sort of crystal building in the centre. A boat made of stone and even more crystal is paddled across the magma to take him in. (50 exp)
- Reaching the island, POWERLAD is greeted by a very big man called Magnus Grossman. He is a high priest of the Drakencult, and VERY BIG. (50 exp)

- He explains that Ninhursag is all about rock and stone and poison. In fact, the plan is to create a super-poison capable of destroying all cellular life and thus poisoning the tentacles TO DEATH. (50 exp)
- It would be nice to find a poison that kills only the tentacles and leaves everything else alive, but unfortunately as the progenitor of all life on Earth it's hard to make something that only kills tentacles. If they can do it, they will though. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD thinks this sounds pretty legit and decides to join the Drakencult of Ninhursag. Magnus leads him to the great green head of the dragon, which emerges from lava. Around it are high ranking Drakencult of all the different aspects of the dragon. (50 exp)

- POWERLAD prostrates himself before Ninhursag's great head and joins the Drakencult! His bond with Ninhursag gives him more power over the Earth rune! (50 exp)

- Back in the town, the rest of party is talking to the rebel Necromancer. Apparently the Mould just vanished one day, the addicts emerged from the cathedral lost and confused, and Moldus Vane himself has retreated to a secret underground redoubt. (50 exp)
- He admits that he was one of those mould addicts, and misses the feeling of connectedness and completeness he felt at the time. Everyone hugs him, and for a brief moment he feels a shade of what he once had. (50 exp)
- Over at the head of Ninhursag, POWERLAD is talking to Sylvia Flora the aptly named priestess of the Aspect of Plants. She is mildly disappointed that he's married, and explains that their poison research is going fine but they need more poison research! (50 exp)
- During the after-credits scene, we see a flashback to the disappearance of the Mould inside the cathedral. We zoom into the pile of bodies as the Mould vanishes, in and in to see Zarat's eyes pop open. In unison, a chorus of voices say "AAHHHH! A RAT!" (50 exp)

Total: 1500 exp

Misc:

- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)

- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)

- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Guard (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)

- Tracker (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Chippo Man bonus (Kitty*2 - 200 exp)

- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, James, Fraser - 500 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom in absentia - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Rumours:

- 

Active Businesses:

- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)

- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None!

Exp Totals:

- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 65626 (Level up at 128000)

--- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54652 (Level up at 72000)--- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2

- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 14122 (Level up at 24000)
--- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2

- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 8882 (Level up at 12000)

Absent or Retired:
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 6731 (Level up at 9000)- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)

- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)

- Nix's Retainer

--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling

- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)

- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)

- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Session 129 - Let's do the Timeloop Again

I've spent entirely too long on this gimmicky recap, but we're out of the time loop now and this conveniently coincides with me feeling more comfortable about the state of the game world!
It's been a long time coming, but dragons! For real! They were never found before, but the intervening 50 years has made at least one of them into a real and present force in the world. I'm interested to see what you guys make of them!

Here's some things that count as art attacks:


- Kitty present an ACTUAL PRODUCT her company publishes which illustrates an actual vampire ratman!

- Tom paints a very small statue of a man!

Dear diary Well mate it's been a weird one. First off I'm not even sure how I'm writing, cos I'm a friggin barbarian that can't even read, but then, I'm not even sure I'm the same person any more mate! Like, blimey, when I arrived I was gonna burn down that town, commit acts of arson and take people's stuff, but after a couple of loops of dying in that place me accents all funny and now all I want to do is sit on the beach and crack open a lager. I think there was something seriously weird in that town and I'm glad it's behind me mate. Anyway I'm with a few other blokes, can't remember all their names but they're pretty hardcore book nerds, we literally found a dragon and crikey they did was sit outside and read about it! It was a beaut of a dragon though, like a massive black croc from back home (why did I write that?! I come from the northern wastes!) and the others reckon some sort of rituals gonna wake it up or something. Frankly I'd mind me bizzo and get to the nearest barbie but maybe me pals are just as weird in the head as me. Anyway turns out there's dragons everywhere here, these tiny half men mentioned a Dragon temple or cult or something which sounds like a blast but I'm as dry as a dead dingo and hopefully we can get to a bar pretty fuckin soon mate. Insanity Mammoth Dunno what year mate, before neighbours started on TV
- Tom presents Insanity Mammoth's surprisingly antipodean take on events


Session 129 - Let's do the Timeloop Again

Loop ?

Characters:

- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker

- Flaming Fury, Dwarven Academic
- Captain Book, Mad Pirate

- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric

- Elf, Elf

- Borrick, Dwarven Dentist

Enemies Defeated:

- Father Iwanopolous (5 exp)

Total: 5 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Hilariously, nothing.

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Entered the Elven catamaran (50 exp)

Total: 50 exp

Events:
- Returning to where we left off, we've got a split party.
--- Team Better-Than-Human
- Flaming Fury, Elf, and Borrick are talking to an Elf in the middle of a waterlogged stone circle. She invites the to talk. (50 exp)
- They accept, and get into her spider-ridden catamaran to chat. (50 exp)
- She loves spiders, and as they talk a real huge spider sneaks up behind them and bites them one by one! (50 exp)
- It's ok, it's a love poison. They love the spider more than anything. They love it so much. With the Elf in tow, they go to spread its spidery word. (50 exp)
--- Team Human
- Captain Book leaves Billy-Sue Samson's house under the pretense of having been to borrow books from her library, taking a book on the topic of Queen Satan. (50 exp)
- He meets up with the others at the church, and they head in to talk to Father Iwanopolous. Talks go badly, and Captain Book shanks Iwanopolous in the neck! (50 exp)
- Looting the church turns up a box of tithes containing 1000sp along with a few other bits and bobs. (50 exp)
- Knowing that the first to die is pulled back through the loop, Book's got a plan to save the treasure - intentional death! He puts all the valuable in William Fox-Shitt's hands, makes sure he's got everything, then slits his own throat. (50 exp)
- His lips shape the words "oh fuck" as he slumps to the floor, dead. (50 exp)

Total: 450 exp

Misc:- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (William Fox-Shitt, POWERLAD! - 100 exp ea.)- An Hero bonus (Captain Book - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Captain Book - 500 exp)
Total: 250 exp + bonuses

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Captain Book, slit own throat while looking into the eyes of the guy with all the treasure. Time loop reset.

Exp Totals:
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 659 (Level up at 2250)
- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 659 (Level up at 1750)
- Flaming Fury, Level 1 Dwarf: 311 (Level up at 2200)
- Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist (Pirate): 1011 (Level up at 1500)
- Elf, Level 1 Elf (Bibliognost): 311 (Level up at 3000)
- Borrick, Level 1 Dwarf: 311 (Level up at 2200)

[[]]

Loop ?

Characters:

- Captain (Proctor?) Book, Mad Pirate
- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- ZARAT, Ratman who fled a sinking ship
- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric
- Blue John, Soldier-Wizard
- Flaming Fury, Dwarven Academic
- Nix Neckbiter, Daughter of Barbarians

Enemies Defeated:

- Magda (50 exp)
Total: 50 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Several vials of holy water
- Wooden stakes
- Garlic
- Scratch-built stilts
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- Explored 2 Dunnsmouth houses (100 exp)
- Entered the Church (50 exp)
- Encountered Magda (50 exp)
- Discovered the Van Kaus Secret Shame (50 exp)
- Discovered the location of the Time Cube (100 exp)
Total: 350 exp

Events:
- A party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. Captain Book steers them in. (50 exp)- A girl looms from the fog, holding a lantern high. She questions the party about what they're doing here... and seems very taken with POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- Her name is Zilla, and would be even prettier if she just had a few more teeth. She offers her spare skiff in exchange for a kiss. POWERLAD! steps up to the plate, winning the skiff. He takes some of the party (Team Skiff) out towards the church. (50 exp)
- Captain Book questions her about spiders while Flaming Fury and Nix Neckbiter decide to wade past the boathouse and explore overland. Three-way split! (50 exp)
--- Captain Book
- Zilla says she knows something about the spider, but won't tell anyone Book about it unless he's alone and follows him to where the spider lives. He accepts. (50 exp)
- They reach a stone cottage, inside is Magda the gypsy! She seems nice, and begins reading Captain Book's fortune when OH NO the spider attacks him from behind! (50 exp)
- His gambit to destroy it ends up with a critical fail. Oops. The spider slowly sinks its fangs into him... and he realises he loves the spider. He loves it so much, more than anything. (50 exp)
- Now that's out of the way, Magda is very willing to discuss goings-on in the town. Captain Book is licking the spider lovingly, but finds out the Time Cube is somewhere near the church! They head out, Magda in the lead.(50 exp)
--- Team Skiff

- The skiff-riders made up of POWERLAD, Blue John, ZARAT and William Fox-Shitt punt their skiff over to the church and squelch up to it. (50 exp)
- Inside is a much better looking and splendid Father Iwanopolous. He gives a sermon on Jesus' sacrifice and death by scaphism. (50 exp)
- Further discussions lead to some information on the secret shame of the Van Kaus out in the mountains somewhere. Old story, not much truly known. Apparently the townsfolk stopped them at some point. Symbol is two wiggly s-shapes. (50 exp)
- Team Skiff head out, although Blue John takes a minute while the Father is distracted to loot his stuff, grabbing some holy water, stakes, and garlic. (50 exp)
- They punt north, eventually coming across steps with the wiggly symbol on them, they travel up the ste[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
--- Team Scruff (aka Team Not As Good As Skiff)

- Flaming Fury and Nix Neckbiter speak to Nimrod Duncaster who is fishing from his stilt house, he seems nice but warns that people are a little racist around these parts. (50 exp)
- They are invited in for a frog pasty and meet his wife, Lilith. Fury asks if they've got some sticks he can use as stilts and hopefully pass for a human, and is told there's some dry wood in the attic (50 exp)
- There's a toddler with the face of a spider up there! It spits venom! Fury jumps off the ladder and runs! (50 exp)
- The parents restrain their spider-child while Nix wonders what a frog is. They both flee the house, Fury grabbing some logs for stilts as he does so. (50 exp)
--- Captain Book
- By this time, Captain Book has reached the location of the Time Cube with Magda. They approach and the days begin to spin past rapidly! (50 exp)
- He reads the writing on the cube and the words burn into his vision! He can no longer accurately tell the passage of time, but he can cast the spell Time Stop! (50 exp)
- He casts it on Magda and she freezes, then he stabs her over and over while she's frozen. As time reverts to normal her blood begins spraying all over the place. (50 exp) 

Total: 950 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
Total: 400 exp

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Magda, sliced hundreds of times in the gaps between the seconds by someone she trusted, timeloop reset

Exp Totals:

- Blue John, Level 1 Magic-User: 598 (Level up at 2250)
- Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist (Pirate): 1261 (Level up at 1500)
- Flaming Fury, Level 1 Dwarf: 561 (Level up at 2200)
- Nix Neckbiter, Level 1 Barbarian: 250 (Level up at 2000)
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 909 (Level up at 2250)
- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 909 (Level up at 1750)
- ZARAT, Level 1 Ratman: 435 (Level up at 1500)

[[]]

Loop ?

Characters:
- Nix Neckbiter, Daughter of Barbarians
- Another
- Another

Events:
- A smaller party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. A gypsy woman steers them in. (50 exp)

- She yells "YOU BASTARD! I WAS SO CLOSE!" and looks around frantically (50 exp)
- A man looms from the fog, holding a lantern high. He questions the party about what they're doing here... and seems very posh (50 exp)- Nix Neckbiter dives from the skiff, swimming west, he comes upon a mansion and doesn't want to go in. (50 exp)
- Those remaining in Dunnsmouth head north towards the mountains, eventually the[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

[[]]

Session 129 - You spend ages waiting for a dragon...

Campaign Date:
Friday, 27 March, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:
- TOM Insanity Mammoth, a Barbarian Weaponsmith with an unintelligible accent
- ANDY Captain Book, a pirate with a time-displaced personality
- HENRY Blue John Goujon
- KITTY POWERLAD!, the actually entirely legitimate son of Sophia and POWERMAN.
- FRASER Nix Neckbiter, surprisingly female Barbarian
- JAMES William Fox-Shitt, a posh twat of a Cleric and glue afficianado
- WILL Flaming Fury, a Dwarven Academic with a questionable name

Enemies Defeated:- None
Total: 0 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 440 gold pieces, each inscribed with a wiggly symbol on one side and a dragon's head on the other (22 000 exp)
- Book #191 - "Ereshkigal, Singularity Dragon" (100 exp)
Total: 22100 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the Secret Shame of the Van Kaus (100 exp)
- First party to come into the presence of Ereshkigal, Singularity Dragon (1000 exp)
- 18 miles of travel (60 exp)
- 1 random encounter (20 exp)
Total: 1180 exp

Events:
- [[[]]]]]ps, eventually coming to a doorway halfway up the slope, built into the mountainside. (50 exp)
- It's blocked up, but the top of the arch is coffin-shaped and has a symbol carved into it- two wiggly symbols side by side inside a circle. Fraser clicks! it's the Mass rune. (50 exp)
- Behind them, down the slope, they see the fog clear around Dunnsmouth! A blue light thrums at the centre, the swamp and buildings suddenly change positions, and the fog rushes back in. (50 exp)
- It takes a while to clear the rubble blocking the doorway, and further time crafting a torch from whatever they can find lying around (50 exp)
- They enter, coming into a large underground chamber carved from the rock. There are eight short pillars with names carved on them, and a sound of deep slow breathing. As the breath draws in, everything becomes light and almost weightless. When it breathes out, everything becomes heavy. (50 exp)
- They move in further, and at the back of the chamber they see the scaly head of an enormous black dragon! (50 exp)
- On its face, instead of eyes, it has the Mass rune. Its neck is held into the wall by a ring of shiny black stone, and it's clearly asleep. (50 exp)
- No amount of disturbance seems to wake it. Even whanging it on the nose with a warhammer just makes it snort out a particularly large breath. (50 exp)
- The eight short pillars are graves! Each has a Van Kaus name carved upon it. Digging them up with the help of the gravity inversion, a whole lot of gold is dug up along with a book on this very dragon. (50 exp)
- Several hours are spent reading the book, and eventually the rest of the players bring their characters up the mountain too. (50 exp)
- An exploit for choosing your character is discovered - just go in and keep killing someone until you become the character you want! This is used, and it seems we're out of the time loop and back in action! (50 exp)
- After some time reading the book and discovering (a) that they can bind and awaken the dragon with 1000 years of ritual and (b) become worshippers of the dragon in exchange for it taking a percentage of exp earned, the new group sets off into the woods (50 exp)
- Strange and unfamiliar woods are these, but they run across a group of Halflings who are, strangely enough, fleeing the followers of a dragon! (50 exp)
- It's not the same dragon, they say, because this one is green. But one of their number is willing to show the party the way to this other dragon for the princely sum of two gold pieces. (50 exp)
- And with that, after over 3 years of running this campaign in England, the party has finally discovered the existence of a whole TWO dragons at once! Finally, the second word in DnD joins the game. (50 exp)
Total: 750 exp

Misc:- Bookworm Bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy Bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium Bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party Bonus (50 exp)Total: 200 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Henry - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser, Tom - 100 exp ea.)
- Quartermaster (James - 100 exp)
- Guard (Andy, Kitty - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer (Fraser, Henry, Andy - 100 exp ea.)
- Chronal Exp (Tom, Kitty. Fraser, James, Andy - variable)
- Accidental Art Attack bonus (Kitty - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)

Rumours:
- There's another dragon about?!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Nothing this time around!

Exp Totals:- Andy / Captain Book, Level 3 Specialist (Pirate): 5023 (Level up at 6000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +Backstory!
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 4671 (Level up at 9000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 Level 2 spell! +1 level 2 spell/day! +Backstory!- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 4260 (Level up at 8000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!
- Henry/ Blue Jon Goujon, Level 2 Magic-User: 4260 (Level up at 4500)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
- Will / Flaming Fury, Level 2 Dwarf: 4023 (Level up at 4400)*DING!* +1d10 HP! +Dwarven Lorebond! +Backstory!

- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 3 Barbarian: 4012 (Level up at 8000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!

Session 128 - New Year New Me

We're back! With a time loop gimmick!

In a brazen attempt to delay while I update everything for a 50 year time jump, the ALL NEW party is stuck in the malevolent influence of the TIME CUBE! An artifact of impossible power that controls TIME ITSELF!
They are also stuck in Dunnsmouth. A backwater swamp full of fog and racists.

- Tom draws new arrival Captain Book

Session 128 - New Year New Me

Loop ?

Characters:
- Insanity Mammoth, Barbarian Weaponsmith
- Banjo Fishwick, Specialist and former Riverbank Comber

- Joe, Barbarian Taxidermist

- Zena, Quill-Cutter Fighter

- Andromeda Buffy Spiderbite, Falconer Muscle Wizard

- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric
- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- Blue Jon, Soldier-Wizard

Enemies Defeated:

- Herman van Kaus (10 exp)
- Klaudia van Kaus (10 exp)
- Herman van Kaus (10 exp)

Total: 30 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 2 rations

- Some garlic

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Explored 3 Dunnsmouth houses (150 exp)

Total: 150 exp

Events:
- A party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. (50 exp)
- The Tillerman shrieks and jumps off the boat, screaming "NOT AGAIN!". Banjo hooks him in with his gaff hook for questioning. (50 exp)
- A man looms from the fog, looking like the guy from American Gothic. He questions the party about what they're doing here... and seems pretty snooty about Insanity Mammoth's foreign-ness. (50 exp)
- He lets the bot tie up for a couple of silvers, but then Insanity Mammoth attacks! The old guy is surprisingly spry, poking the barbarian in the chest with his pitchfork and cutting the boat adrift! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth dives overboard and swims to the pier, finding himself looking up at Herman as he lobs a flaming lantern onto the boat! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD falls unconscious immediately from smoke inhalation, so others have to bundle him off the side as they bail! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth rears from the water and smacks the guy on the head, knocking him out cold. He's tied up as the other party members drag themselves onto the pier. (50 exp)
- While several people search the ramshackle hut, others eat to heal. Handily, he's got a ton of rations stocked up, along with some money in a chest. Score! They break Herman's ankles inside the chest. (50 exp)
- Oh yea, this whole place is swampy horrible bog. It sucks. Waterlogged ropes and sticks and slippery mouldy planks lead further inland, eventually coming to a three storey house with a part-submerged first floor. (50 exp)
- A window with a rope ladder to it is the entrance. Insanity Mammoth climbs to knock on the window but William Fox-Shitt, glue-sniffing and uncharismatic Cleric, pipes up first. An old woman with a HUGE crossbow comes down the stairs, asking WHO'S THERE?! (50 exp)
- After a brief chat, she fires! And her crossbow fucks up. Oops. Insanity Mammoth takes the opportunity to ATTACK! She shanks him with a carved antler dagger, poisoning the poor guy, but he quickly disarms her and shanks her in the neck. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, in the waterlogged basement, Bluejon the Wizard was searching for an extra entry only to discover LEECHES! His attempts to pull them off hurt, but luckily Banjo's on hand with a torch to burn them off. (50 exp)
- The house is looted. She's not got much, but some bone-tipped crossbow bolts along with a rack of spices and a bunch of garlic isn't all that bad. Insanity Mammoth takes her heart and ears, the latter to feed Andromeda's hawk, and buries her in a shallow grave outside. (50 exp)

- Luckily POWERLAD is a trained crossbow maker! He fixes the enormous crossbow fairly easily. (50 exp)
- Hearing muffled cries of pain from the pier shack, Insanity Mammoth goes to finish him off. The rest continue as he steals that heart too. (50 exp)

- The only house before the swamp gets too deep to easily squelch through belongs to one Bernard von Kaus, pumping for yabbies or lugworm or something with his son. He has a fabulous moustache! (50 exp)
- Andromeda shows him his mother's ears for some reason. He yells at his wife to GET THE GUN! (50 exp)
- He's stabbed through his glorious moustache. It will be missed. (50 exp)
- Bluejon sends his kestrel down the chimney! For some reason! It is cooked quite easily, burning to a crisp. Nobody is entirely sure of the decision-making process that went into this, but Andromeda at least cannot stop laughing. Horrifically, it's a familiar and thus cannot die. It says "kill meeee! Kill meeeee!" in a voice only Bluejon can understand. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD! heads in to wrestle the wife, but ends up pinned with a knife to his throat. Fuck. Someone goes for the child outside. The wife threatens to kill POWERLAD if she doesn't get her son! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth tries to shoot her, misses. She wails as she slices POWERLAD's throat open, his mildly electric blood fizzing out of him. (50 exp)

Total: 1050 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All who witnessed POWERLAD's death - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 750 exp

Death Toll and Injuries:
- POWERLAD, throat slit by despairing woman. Time loop reset.

Exp Totals:

- Banjo Fishwick, Specialist (Con man): 348 (Level up at 1500)- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 348 (Level up at 1750)

- Insanity Mammoth, Level 1 Barbarian: 348 (Level up at 2000)
- Joe, Level 1 Barbarian: 348 (Level up at 2000)

- Zena, Level 1 Fighter: 348 (Level up at 2000)
- Andromeda Buffy Spiderbite, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 348 (Level up at 2250)

- Blue Jon, Level 1 Magic-User: 348 (Level up at 2250)
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 248 (Level up at 2250)

[[]]

Loop ?

Characters:

- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- Ignacious Dark, Moorish Fighter, ex-Prison Warden

- ZARAT, Ratman who fled a sinking ship
- Flaming Fury, Dwarven Academic
- Captain Book, Mad Pirate

- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric

- Meg, Halfling Clown

- Elf, Elf

- Borrick, Dwarven Dentist

Enemies Defeated:

- Herman Van Kaus (10 exp)
Total: 10 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Unknown. Loop in progress.
Total: Unknown

Exploration:

- Explored 3 Dunnsmouth houses (150 exp)
- Entered the Church (50 exp)
- Encountered Magda (50 exp)
- Discovered the stone circle (50 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Events:
- A party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. POWERLAD steers them in. (50 exp)- A man looms from the fog, looking like the guy from American Gothic. He questions the party about what they're doing here... and is an absolutely MASSIVE racist. (50 exp)
- The Dwarfs, Elf, Halfing and Ratman are forced to punt the longboat away from the pier. The swarthy Ignacious Dark is a target of particular hatred, Herman only relents when he's told that Ignacious is a William's slave (50 exp)--- Team Human
- Ignacious intially holds up against the cavalcade of racial insults, but being called "darkie" is too much for him. He jumps in to attack Herman. The old guy is surprisingly spry, poking the fighter in the chest with his pitchfork! (50 exp)
- Captain Book ducks under the pitchfork and slashes Herman's chest to shit with his broken cutlass, pulls his guts out of his belly, and strangles him to death with his own viscera. A victory for social justice! (50 exp)
- They jump into the slain Herman's skiff and punt it through the deeper waters of the swamp, heading straight for the church. (50 exp)
- They get to where the deep water kind of just peters out into soggy bog and walk up to the Church, meeting the kinda crazy priest within, Father Iwanopolous. (50 exp)

- Captain Book heads off to the house just along the way and introduces himself to Billy-Sue Samson, a rather attractive older lady who quickly whisks the dear captain off to bed. Coitus ensues. (50 exp)

- While "William Fuck-Sake" goes off to get trashed on communion wine with Father Iwanopolous, the other humans check out the graveyard. Four surnames keep coming up - Duncaster, Dunlop, Samson and Van Kaus. (50 exp)
- Captain Book keeps trying to get info from Billy-Sue mid-coitus, but she tells him to shut up and keep going. Captain Book is slightly disconcerted to find that she moans a bit like a man. We leave the situation here! (50 exp)
--- Non-Humans

- The demihuman party try to head into the swamps in their longboat, but quickly get stuck in the bog. They climb up onto slightly-less-wet ground and discover a stone cottage right at the edge of the water. (50 exp)
- Inside is... a gypsy! Wonderful! They cross her palm with silver, and she lets them inside to dry off. Her name is Magda and she's here to find the Time Cube - an artifact of immense magical power. (50 exp)
- She also seems to have some knowledge of the time loop, going "aahh of course!" to the theory that the loop restarts whenever someone dies. Definitely Time Cube related, she says. She also warns the party about a man called Uncle Ivan who claims to be her husband. (50 exp)
- She gives the party some gypsy healing salves (heals 1d6 HP, or wipes out poison) and declines their offer to join them. (50 exp)
- They head on, finding the grandma's house from before! Meg the Halfling attempts to persuade the old woman that she's just going to the church to meet Uncle Ivan. Granny doesn't buy it and fires the massive crossbow, misses, and asks Meg to stand still while she reloads. (50 exp)
- Meg bolts before she can do so, but the group do see a large stone circle. In the centre, a catamaran and an Elf checking out a standing stone. Under a nearby lean-to, three people with weird spider mutations. (50 exp)
- The spider men seem friendly and chatty. The Time Cube is mentioned, and the time form a cube shape with their hands to demonstrate. But suddenly one of the party is engulfed in Faerie Fire! Oh no! The spider people, reluctantly, attack. We end on that cliffhangerish moment. (50 exp)
Total: 850 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Coitus boners (50 exp)
- Deja Vu bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus bonus (50 exp)
- Social Justice Warrior bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None yet!

Exp Totals:

- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 433 (Level up at 2250)
- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 433 (Level up at 1750)

- Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist (Pirate): 185 (Level up at 1500)
- ZARAT, Level 1 Ratman: 185 (Level up at 1500)
- Ignacious Dark, Level 1 Fighter: 185 (Level up at 2000)
- Meg, Level 1 Halfling: 185 (Level up at 2000)- Borrick, Level 1 Dwarf: 185 (Level up at 2200)

- Flaming Fury, Level 1 Dwarf: 185 (Level up at 2200)
- Elf, Level 1 Elf (Bibliognost): 185 (Level up at 3000)

[[]]

Since the characters are getting shuffled between loops, any meta exp stuff is going to be tied to YOU the player, not the character! So here goes:

Individual Bonus Exp:
- Art Attack bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Tom - 100 exp)

- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Kitty - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Fraser, Ollie, James G, Andy, Charles, otherswhoimighthaveforgottenpleaseletmeknow - 100 exp ea.)

Meta-Exp Totals:
- Tom: 200 exp
- Kitty: 100 exp
- Fraser: 100 exp
- Ollie: 100 exp
- James G: 100 exp
- Andy: 100 exp
- Charles: 100 exp