Showing posts with label Cursed Chateau. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cursed Chateau. Show all posts

Monday, 23 January 2017

Session 120 - Homewreckers

Good session! In all my vague ideas of what you guys would get up to in the future, none of them involved a random encounter turning into you guys stealing a massive ship via sex magic and subterfuge.
Makes it easier to assault the Witch-Pirate I guess!

Various rules bollocks so you're all on board with how things work, mostly because they're new and make more sense when you can see the tables -

Books!
Of these you know. I wanted to make bookshelves and libraries more interesting, so it's basically a big old list of topics with a hash code so I can look it up.
The idea is that you ask me questions on the book's subject, and you get better answers depending on the number of books you've got available to reference.

​​Hopefully it makes collecting books and/or researching things more interesting, and gives me ways to dispense game lore!
Spells!
Spellcasters can all swap spells while casting now, not just Clerics. New policy is that if you didn't write down your prepared spells (aka spells in your head) at the start of the day, every spell counts as a spell swap.

​Penalty based on the levels of the spells you're swapping.
+1 Bonus per HP you sacrifice during the swap.
Obviously lower results are metaphysically Worse.

Necromancers don't have to roll on the table, they just deal damage to themselves and everyone around them. 


​-
 Longboat, by Fraser

Also attached are two COMPETING WORDS OF THE LORD from Jade and Lulu.
Such wondrous heresy.

Finally, I'm embarrassingly proud of this recap's title pun -


Session 120 - Homewreckers

Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 3 April, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:
-
 Hayashi "Jack" Keito, Samurai from the ancient and alien warring states of Nippon, forced to dig graves for himself and family but killed his foes with the sword he was to gut himself with. Dishonoured, he fled on a Dutch ship to Loegria.

New Backstory:
- Jade struggled on the streets of Fortress-City Fate, a lowly whore who was once a courtesan. She stood up to a pimp, but it didn't go well for her. (At will, force a creature to prioritise you)
- Svetnir grew in the goblin ghettoes that lie between Edge and Dwarrow, he left in the hopes of finding fame, fortune, and less entrenched racism. (+1 Constitution)
- Grijze was involved in hideous bio-experimentation alongside a gifted man named Victor. When the creature stirred and they had to flee, the older Grijze demanded that the more talented Victor go on without him! (While fleeing, may grant your flee roll to another)

Enemies Defeated:
- A whole temple-ship! Captured by devious means (500 exp)
- The alleged Lord Joudain, crucified (50 exp)
- The actual Lord Joudain, cured of ennui (500 exp)
Total: 1050 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A whole temple-ship!
- 100 sp (100 exp)
- Book #249 - Mammals
- Book #209 - The Deep Gods
- Book #193 - Exploration of the New World
- Book #252 - Surgery
- Book #184 - On the Monstrous
- Book #116 - Ur-Darghab, City of the Deeps
Total: 100 exp

Exploration:- Explored one additional room of the Chateau (20 exp)
- 18 miles of travel (60 exp)
Total: 80 exp

Events:

- A tale in two to three parts
-- Team Chateau. Intention: to find the lord of the cursed mansion and kill him.
- After waking and waving goodbye to Jade and Lulu, the rest continue exploring. (50 exp)
- A grand bedroom with... THE GUY! The guy in the paintings! He's just walking around in here! (50 exp)
- Nobody can speak Occitan... except Grijze van Held! Phew. They chat for a bit, Lord Joudain offers to give them a tour of the place. (50 exp)
- Those two guards, Jaume and Miquel, come in and make obvious "oh we'll take care of them, sir" comments, Zan laments the lack of a Sense Motive skill even though he is clearly sensing their motive just fine on his own. (50 exp)
- As the party move along with the guard dudes, Gorund hides behind the curtains and Cranky Jim hangs back to stay near the bedroom. Three-way split! (50 exp)
- The guards ask what the tourists want to see, and they say the wine cellar. Knowing looks and nudging from the guards. But when they get down there, someone's stolen the expensive wine bottles!! (50 exp)
- Grijze and Zan show the guards proper wine tasting with the ghostly wine from the barrels, getting them really very drunk. (50 exp)
- The tour continues, but as they ascend the stairs an old lady is there! She berates them for getting drunk and starts attacking them with her handbag! The others leave them to it, but watch. The ghostly lord of the manor begins to chuckle... (50 exp)
- While this has been going on, Gorund and Cranky Jim have been busy! While Gorund rifles through the bookshelf for interesting tomes, Cranky Jim walks in and tries to talk to Lord Joudain... then shanks him with an iron spike! (50 exp)
- A crit! He disables him instead of killing him, realising as he does so that this guy has some fairly notable differences to the paintings. His eyes are a different colour, and his teeth are a bit wonky. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim crucifies the pretender against the wall. The "real" Lord Joudain's head forms in the wall and laughs! The Virgin Sword is buried in his wood-textured head... but gets stuck. (50 exp)
- Pissed off, Cranky Jim guts the false Joudain, ties his entrails to a chair, and throws it out the window. Real Joudain is fucking LOVING it. "ohohoho! I sink you 'ave cured mah ennui!" (50 exp)
- The whole house becomes writhing laughing figures! And begins sinking into the ground!! Time to bail, but it's hard when the whole house is laughing figures holding you back to laugh against you. (50 exp)
- Grijze gives his "go on without me!" fleeing die to Zan, who legs it. Svetnir sprints out the front door but tragically leaves his goblin buddy offspring behind. (50 exp)
- Gorund and Cranky Jim run past the still-stuck virgin sword and jump out the second storey window, hoping to use the entrails as a rope to swing on! ... landing harmlessly on the ground a couple of feet below as the chateau tips and breaks apart (50 exp)
- Grijze pulls himself together and, despite the odds, manages to just leap out a tall first floor double door before it sinks below ground level! He stares around as the chateau caves in on itself. Survival for all!  (50 exp)
-- Team Thwarted Admin. Intention: Equipment tables, carousing.
- Jade and Lulu leave the chateau, heading for the river where Lulu's quantum longship is totes tied up. Sure, I guess that's fine. (50 exp)
- Overland trip uneventful except for a rotting cow skull hanging from a tree. They reach the longship in good time. (50 exp)
- Hey, Lulu's quantum ship-look-after guy is here! Hello, Corrin. They unmoor and begin to sail off, scheming about how they'll spend all their money. (50 exp)
- BONG! BONG! A church bell rings... from an enormous and ornate temple-ship! One of these again! It draws up alongside, and a man in obnoxiously ornate armour booms down that they should prepare for inspection. (50 exp)
- Jade's feminine wiles come good once more, and she offers to let him inspect her ;) (50 exp)
- He accepts! Lulu and Jade climb up to the good ship Eppur Si Muove and begin a seduction attempt. I suddenly realise I have to run a sex scene that doesn't fade to black. (50 exp)
- Buttering him up with expensive wine from France, the ladies begin to seduce the surprisingly young, surprisingly inexperienced captain. The first mate closes the door. (50 exp)
- Out the window... fuck! Corrin's sailing off with all the loot! Lulu's luck holds and the temple-ship fires upon him, forcing him to come back. (50 exp)
- Jade tries to sexily magically get him out of his armour with a Chime of Release - and I get to try out the new spell swapping rules! The chime goes off but some of the magic spills out into the world! A golden idol spins garishly in the middle of the room! Jade's face gets uglier! the captain begins to cry golden maggots while screaming! OH FUUU (50 exp)
- Lulu blinks, her tattoos and eyes glowing gold with power. She has absorbed the magic! Thank fuck for that. They begin massaging the now-nude captain again when... he suddenly shudders and begins apologising. (50 exp)
- Mildly amused at his premature predicament, Jade tugs on the Skull Switcher glove and punches him in the face! (50 exp)
- Jade is the captain now. The captain, in Jade's body, panics and goes for the door. Lulu puts a stop to that. (50 exp)
- Striding out onto the deck, Captain!Jade bellows to the crew! Holding aloft a mug of water, s/he tells of the miracle that has been experienced! The Gods have come to this place! By their emissaries, Lulu and Jade! (50 exp)
- S/he splashes the water from the mug everywhere... and it becomes wine! A con involving the Farage Mug, but incredibly convincing! The crew cheer! (50 exp)
- A new target of their religious ire is set - they shall sail out to destroy the dreaded Witch-Pirate of Guernsey! And maybe pick up some other holy crusaders on the way maybe! Huzzah!!! (50 exp)
Total: 1550 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Master of Disguise bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Svetnir - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Find-and-Replace Fiction Fanatic bonus (Lulu - 10 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Gorund - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Grijze, Zan, Lulu, Gorund, Svetnir - 100 exp ea.)
- Inspiring Speech bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
Total: 600 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- Soooooon

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!?

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 84553 (Level up at 128000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 7 Cleric (Termaxian): 65587 (Level up at 112000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 48511 (Level up at 70400)
Henry / Gorund, Level 5 Specialist: 20277 (Level up at 24000)
Tom / Jade, Level 4 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 13119 (Level up at 24000)Fraser / Svetnir, Level 2 Goblin: 3449 (Level up at 4000)James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 3 Specialist (Doctor): 3022 (Level up at 6000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points!
Absent or Retired:
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 51705 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 5 POWERFIGHTER: 17090 (Level up at 32000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Sascha / Deek, Level 1 Specialist (Jack-of-all-Trades): 480 (Level up at 1500)Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Thursday, 5 January 2017

Session 118 - Dungeons and Deep Ones

We return! With a session that may go down as one of my favourites ever.
Barbarian on Barbarian fork-throwing!
Getting drunk in the wine cellar while others suffer!
Diving down to the dark city of the frog monsters!

Gastron may be doomed... but we will see!


Also check out these art attacks holy shit

Inline images 1
- Sophia, from Oli

Inline images 2
- Salisburgh Plain, from Tom

Inline images 3
- The demise of Gastron, also from Tom

Inline images 4
And finally, a frog monster doodle from me!


Session 118 - Dungeons and Deep Ones

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 28 March, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Pisces

Bonus Session 117 exp granted metaphysically:- 6070 exp to Cranky Jim
- 5270 exp to Zan
- 5220 exp to Sophia
- 5170 exp to Gorund, Jade, Gastron
- 5070 to Lulu

New Characters:
- Deek, a Jack-of-all-Trades Specialist and former chalk-cutter.
- Vetnir, a Goblin hedge trimmer aka hairdresser. Fascination with knives.

New Backstory:
Jade had a liaison with a demon in human form when she worked as a courtesan. She was forever tainted, becoming an Elf. The fearful nobles kicked her out of court, and she was forced into a life of a common street whore. (+1 to reaction rolls with subterranean beings)
- Zan's strange rebirth allowed him to see Things Man Was Not Meant to Know in the cracks between realities. (+2 to Search in pitch blackness)
- Gastron once committed that most egregious of french sins - the consumption of Crème Anglaise... and he loved it. (+1 when repeating a successful action) 

Enemies Defeated:
- 3 ghoulish people-eaters, slaughtered (150 exp)
- 6 batrachian hand-tongued frog things, scared off (300 exp)
Total: 450 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 6 silver pieces (6 exp)
- 15 bottles of very fine wine (750 exp)
Total: 756 exp

Exploration:- First party to enter the basement level of the chateau (100 exp)
- 5 dungeon areas explored (100 exp)
- Secret door found (50 exp)
Total: 250 exp
Events:
- Awakening from their strange double-dreams of a distant past and a sundered future, the party awaken in the great hall of the Cursed Chateau! Among them, somehow, are two newcomers. (50 exp)
- One of said newcomers, Deek, inspects the fireplace. The grate is loose! And there are stairs behind! (50 exp)
- Descending the ash-covered stairs into the darkness, the party come across a wide room. The chef walks past. Yowls and yammering from the dark. (50 exp)
- Lulu utilisies the shit power of her christmas jumper to sneak towards the yammering. It's those ghouls again! The jumper lights up in christmassy glory and it's time for a fight! (50 exp)
- Jade sneaks up and goes for the backstab! It is a dismal failure, and a wild-haired woman throws her through a door, its ghostly venom paralysing her! (50 exp)
- Gastron whips a meat fork from his quantum chef attire and throws it into the melee! It goes right into the meat of Lulu's arm, to her consternation. (50 exp)
- Lulu rips it out of her arm and throws it back, grazing Gastron's french face! (50 exp)
- A twitch of Vetnir's wrists turns his shears into a pair of short knives! He buries them in a ghoul's neck and wrenches them apart. Deek takes out the other with a shovel. (50 exp)
- With that over, the door is inspected. A long corridor beyond, ending suddenly at the same barrier that surrounds the chateau. (50 exp)
- Jade's paralyzed body is hefted onto a shoulder and carried until it begins to soften. (50 exp)
- A door to the north requires a skull-key. It is left for now. (50 exp)
- A further corridor split reveals a room that becomes natural cave. Mushroom clusters are identified by Deek as some sort of deadly spore-spewing species. (50 exp)
- Zan gets to work with fire rune experimentation while Jade, Lulu and Cranky Jim wander off and find a wine cellar. (50 exp)
- They crack into the booze, the door shutting behind them. It has a skull-keyhole from this side. Lulu uses Santa's skull as a cup. (50 exp)
- Zan has managed to set his shield alight with magma. It works well otherwise. A decay beam is fairly ineffective. (50 exp)
- Gastron gets bored and pulls a potato from his pack, throws it into the room, and sets off the mushrooms! (50 exp)
- Zan manages to more-or-less escape, but Gastron's health is permanently damaged. Frenchman that he is, he gathers some mushroom in order to smoke it. (50 exp)
- The party spike the wine cellar door open, rejoin, and continue exploring the caverns. (50 exp)
- In a large cavern, a strange froggy obelisk at the edge of an underground pool. Lulu lobs a potato in... and the bow waves of a large creature swimming towards the shore... (50 exp)
- All except Gastron back off... and the bulbous froggy beast flicks its hand-tongue out of the water to grab him! Luckily Gastron's an absolute beast, so drags it to him by the tongue and rips off its legs! (50 exp)
- Also it turns out he learnt Ancient Batrachian from a frog that lived under his hat like that rat off Ratatouille, so he can speak to the thing! It is in great pain. (50 exp)
- Jade wanders off into a bare rocky possibly magical chamber. She throws Nigel Farage's severed head into the room to set off suspected traps... but sees his face! She is forced to run over and punch the shit out of it! Farage's face is pulped. (50 exp)
- More frog things erupt from the water, but Gastron brutalises the body of the de-legged batrachian and induces fear in their froggy hearts! (50 exp)
- They turn to flee, but Gastron jumps on the back of one of them in order to pursue! Luckily he previously drew an air rune on an eggcup to use as an impromptu oxygen mask (50 exp)
- As the amphibians swim deeper and deeper into the cold watery depths... it becomes obvious to the rest of the that Gastron may never return. (50 exp)
- Next session the party will vote on whether they want to rescue Gastron in some sort of insane scuba rescue mission, or leave him to die off-screen. (50 exp)
Total: 1300 exp

Misc:
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tonguetacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- Treasure Drinker bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Lulu, Jade - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco di Panico dell'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Vetnir - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
Total: 600 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here...

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Gastron... unless a rescue mission is enacted next session!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 84110 (Level up at 128000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 7 Cleric (Termaxian): 63118 (Level up at 112000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 46142 (Level up at 70400)James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 4 Barbarian: 14713 (Level up at 16000)Tom / Jade, Level 2 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 5180 (Level up at 6000)Fraser / Vetnir, Level 1 Goblin: 580 (Level up at 2000)
Sascha / Deek, Level 1 Specialist (Jack-of-all-Trades): 480 (Level up at 1500)
Absent or Retired:
Henry / Gorund, Level 5 Specialist: 17508 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 49669 (Level up at 72000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 5 POWERFIGHTER: 16072 (Level up at 32000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)

James / 
Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)

Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Monday, 28 November 2016

Session 115 - Ghosts and Goblins

Another episode of strange and ghostly excitement.
Still no vampire as yet...

But hey, on the plus side, Cranky Jim levelled up after teabagging someone to death! Score!
And the house has claimed another victim.... oOOOoOooooOooo



- Jade the Courtesan Elf, by Tom


- Rollo is dragged away to his doom! by Tom


​Sausage. by Andy


Tom - The florid description of your Elf species is as follows:
Languid Wastrel: Lazy scabrous salesmen adept at making the unseemly seem wonderful. Lamp-carrying dealers granting likely stories and too-good-to-be-trues to the dispossessed and easily led. They deal in any place in any currency and give concessions for prices paid in souls and firstborns.



Session 115 - Ghosts and Goblins


Campaign Date:
Monday, 23 March, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:- Jade, a courtesan kicked out of the oldest profession when her latent Elfishness began to appear.

Enemies Defeated:
- 2 ghostly guards, chopped and ghost blasted (50 exp)
- 3 hungry hungry paralyzing ghosts, variously dismembered (50 exp)
- One of the ghostly guards again! (50 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A sackful of tarnished silverware (600 exp)
- A beautiful tapestry depicting horrors (5000 exp)
Total: 5600 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 6 chateau areas (120 exp)
- 4 random encounters (200 exp)
Total: 320 exp
Events:
- The party, without the benefit of the ghosts to lead them, decides to seek out the master vampire bedroom themselves. (50 exp)
- Heading through an antechamber, they enter a music room containing (as ever) a harpsichord, along with a bunch of rotting furniture. (50 exp)
- They try to head out a door and... oh no! It's locked! They all are! One of the doors BURSTS OPEN and a couple of burly twins break through, grab Rollo, and kick the door shut behind them! (50 exp)
- Rollo hits the door on the way out and is knocked unconscious. Lulu and Cranky Jim begin attempting to break down the door to little effect. (50 exp)
- Sophia, investigating another door, is surprised when it opens and the twins grab her! Shit! They close the door behind her and begin beating her up. (50 exp)
- Rollo bleerily awakens to the sound of Sophia getting punched in the stomach. He jumps at them, successfully pulling them both to the floor! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim smashes through the wall between rooms, in time to see Rollo get smashed in the stomach. He's beyond help. Sophia ghost-blasts one of the ghosts while the other is finished off by people pouring through the hole in the wall. (50 exp)
- Rollo is dying, and Lulu decides to put him out of his misery by crushing his windpipe with the giant pie. So fitting ;_; (50 exp)
- "Tom rolls new character - Elf courtesan with -2 CHA, is crack whore. - Doesn't put all points in Bushcraft, opportunity missed" - James Gregory notes (50 exp)
- An old lady enters the room, offering horrible traditional french sweeties. Those that can stomach them feel great, those that can't have crippling nausea. (50 exp)
- Gastron and Lulu have a brief argument over who the better Barbarian is. They arm wrestle, and Lulu wins easily. Guess that settles it! (50 exp)
- The next room, the Parlor, is entered. The furniture is ruined, but three paintings are remarkably untouched! (50 exp)
- Jade, the youngest (although not so young that her courtesan career is creepy) peers at the picture of a young boy, but saves. Gastron looks at the picture of the adolescent, and gains a point of CHA while losing one of WIS! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim, the eldest, looks at the picture of the middle-aged man. His hair goes white and he is filled with suicidal thoughts!... until Zan heals him with a Remove Curse. Damn. (50 exp)
- A grand staircase is found and ascended slowly. At the top, the windows look out on a sunset over southern France. Lulu decides to climb out the window, along the chateau, and drop into the great hall. (50 exp)
- She does so, smashes through the window, and lands... back in the normal chateau. Trouble is there are a bunch of cannibal corpses chowing down on Ludovico's corpse in there! (50 exp)
- Lulu goes into a RAGE for the first time! And the fiends jump on her with their paralyzing touch. Lulu is locked into her own body... but SO angry... (50 exp)
- A quick house rule later and she can break through paralysis for the round by taking 1d10 damage. She does so... and begins to accrue Pain dice for the first time. It only makes her angrier. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim SMASHES THROUGH THE WALL! He jumps through the hole from the second storey, spraying the baddies with fragments of wall and lands on the table, smashing it beneath his weight. (50 exp)
- Gastron follows, chucking spices into battle. Zan, forcing his holy symbol through the hole, commands the Dead to flee! They do so! (50 exp)
- Sophia, who'd just breathed in Rollo's Last Breath in preparation for a subjugation, hurriedly blows it back into the vial. (50 exp)
- Drapey Jim kisses the paralysed Lulu, as one might expect. Due to some backstory bonus bullshit, this heals her! (50 exp)
- Lulu eats some marmalade... and a prophecy kicks in. She communicates with her sister Lola IN HER MIND! And tells her to come south with a Barbarian army to fight the Dead in glorious battle! Totally happening. (50 exp)
- Before anyone can get any real rest, one of those twin guards comes in, holding a massive axe wound in his face! Jade fucks up a crossbow shot, but Cranky Jim jumps in from the table... (50 exp)
- ...and teabags the ghost to death. "Ghoul been done in by the goolies". Quite. (50 exp)
- The tarnished silverware is stuffed into a bag and the entrance to the great hall is blocked with a ring of garlic and salt. Sophia carves the other end of her hook-on-a-stick into a stake. The party attempt to get some rest... (50 exp)
Total: 1300 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Mouth bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Nutshot bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Gastron - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Pretty much everyone - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Rollo - 100 exp)
- Noble Sacrifice bonus (Jade - 1000 exp)
Total: 1000 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None in here...

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Rollo, put out of his misery with a giant pie after taking fatal wounds.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 78260 (Level up at 128000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 53897 (Level up at 56000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 41078 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 14436 (Level up at 16000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 35221 (Level up at 70400)
*DING!* +1d10 HP! +Lorebond!
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 3 Barbarian: 5592 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Level Up table!
Tom / Rollo, Level 1 Goblin: 1853 (Level up at 2000)
*DECEASED*
Tom / Jade, Level 1 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 2511 (Level up at 3000)
Absent or Retired:
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 8967 (Level up at 12000)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)

Fraser / Gehn, Level 1 Specialist (Thief-Doctor): 1253 (Level up at 1500)

Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)

James / 
Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)

Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Monday, 21 November 2016

Session 114 - Chair Today, Gone Tomorrow

The art attack arms race CONTINUES this week, as always.
We need to put these in a collection or something!

Ghosts and goblins, mid-mansion makeout missions, and furniture with a taste for BLOOD! This is going super well.

A note:
The next three weeks are going to, once again, take place at ANDY's place. Email if you need the address and all that.

Another note:
The next two weeks (22nd and 29th Nov) will be the LAST D&Ds OF THE YEAR! Unless we find another venue, of course.
Basically I'm going to a gig on 6th December so someone else is going to run something. Huzzah!

See you tomorrow!

Inline images 1
- Tom

Inline images 2
Tom


Inline images 4
- Charles

Inline images 3
- Charles

"Oi diary, 
Nicked this off a dead git in a big 'ouse. 'Is 'ead woz propa smashed. Turnz out it was the chairz wot did it. 
I might just be a sneaky little gobbo but I'm gonna record me thougtz anyway coz I'm a thinky little gobbo too. 
Scheemin' of the day: bake yerself inta a big pie and jump out and stab a vampire git / French geeza."
Excerpt from Rollo's diary


Session 114 - Chair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 22 March, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:- Rollo, a Goblin shingler, and one of Jumurak's old gang - the Men of the Rooves
- Gehn, a Specialist in First Aid and Tinkering

Enemies Defeated:
- A chef ghost, subjugated (25 exp)
- A maid ghost, subjugated (25 exp)
- Five extraordinarily deadly items of furniture (250 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Carved wooden hanging screens, stacked near the front door (1000 exp)
- Golden skeleton figurine (4000 exp)
- A couple of jars of marmalade
Total: 5000 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 5 chateau areas (100 exp)
- 3 random encounters (150 exp)
- 1 allegedly secret door found (50 exp)
Total: 300 exp
Events:
- Having retreated back to the forge building at the end of the last session, the party decide to enter the chateau once more. (50 exp)
- Entering through the front door, the door SLAMS closed behind them! Oh no! (50 exp)
- Inspecting the hanging screens covering part of the corridor, Ludovico decides to start taking them down and stacking them near the door, then go and do the same with the furniture (50 exp)
- The others continue through the door behind the sliding screens, finding themselves in a pantry. A laughing, ghostly boy runs through the room. (50 exp)
- Looking around, the pantry's mostly empty. Some mystery meat has dried onto some pans though. (50 exp)
- They continue, entering a rather nice ground floor bedroom. A man looks up from his writing desk, inquiring as to why the party is invading his privacy. (50 exp)
- A wilhelm scream is heard! The party run out to the main room, where they see Ludovico surrounded by furniture! It's eating him! (50 exp)
- Before they can do anything to help, Ludovico's head is smashed to fucking pieces. His ghost briefly wavers before disappearing. (50 exp)
- Figuring there's nothing more they can do, the party head back the way they went before. The guy at the desk is once more slightly perturbed, but does point them in the direction of the kitchen. (50 exp)
- Rollo the Goblin shows up, presumably following Jumurak's trail since they were both shinglers. (50 exp)
- The party enter the kitchen! There is a ghostly chef there, the same guy who nearly murdered the late Ludovico last session, and a maid nagging him from a chair near the window. (50 exp)
- Gastron is stoked because he's found the marmalade, but he also tries to help out the chef and pisses him off mightily. (50 exp)
- He attacks! And thus begins one of the most ridiculous fight scenes this game has ever seen (50 exp)
- Gastron continuously disarms the ghostly chef until Cranky Jiim uses his Fancy Beard to seduce him. They kiss. (50 exp)
- Gastron, now freed up, goes over to the ghost girl and they start making out too while Rollo the Goblin gets in on the action by humping people's legs. (50 exp)
- Sophia knocks back a Last Breath and immediately subjugates both of the ghosts while they're distracted. Friends now! (50 exp)
- With the whole kitchen at their disposal, a plan is concocted to face the vampire lord who totally runs this place and hopefully infect someone with vampirism. (50 exp)
- The plan involves an enormous pie that Rollo the Goblin can hide in along with a human meat fondue. (50 exp)
- While the cooking's going on, Gastron decides to look around in that ghost guy's room. Golden skeleton statue! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- There's also a big accounting ledger, so he scribbles "this mansion belongs to Gastron Bistro" into it in the hopes that graffiti is sufficient grounds for a transfer of ownership (50 exp)
- The cooking is finished! Rollo is encased in fresh shortcrust (with legs sticking out for locomotion, narturally) and the group follow their new friend the maid towards the master of the mansion's bedroom where he presumably resides. (50 exp)
- It's through the armory hall where the monster chairs and armoires killed Ludovico... of course. (50 exp)
- All seems well until the FURNITURE INEVITABLY ATTACKS! The ghosts don't seem to notice and just keep walking... (50 exp)
- Chairs and armoires jump to life, gnashing teeth between cushion and frame and armoire linings that look like human insides! (50 exp)
- The fighting is fierce, notable is Rollo's finger getting bitten off in his (successful!) attempts to save the all-important pie crust. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim is a very effective chair fighter, killing one by sitting on it then chucking it at another chair. (50 exp)
- Gastron gets the best quip of the night when he throws a chair into the ceiling and says "you've been upholstered".
- When all the valuable furniture is destroyed, Gehn runs to Rollo's side to save him! And slips in blood! And crushes his arm! It's basically mangled celery! (50 exp)
- But though Rollo begs for death, he's brought back from the brink. For now. (50 exp)
- Without the ghosts to lead them, the party grabs the miraculously unharmed fondue and pie, and continues into the haunted mansion... (50 exp)
Total: 1450 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Medical Malpractice bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Smooching bonus (50 exp)
- Treasure Destroyer bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Zan, Rollo - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Rollo - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Gehn - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Rollo - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Gehn, Gorund, Cranky Jim, Gastron - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (Ludovico - 500 exp to Rollo)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Rollo - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (all non-Ludovico - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 1050 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None as yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Ludovico, killed by chairs
- Rollo, arm mangled by furniture and poor doctoring

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 52386 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 39567 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 13580 (Level up at 16000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 32710 (Level up at 35200)
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 8967 (Level up at 12000)
Tom / Ludovico, Level 2 Magic User: 3128 (Level up at 4500)
*DECEASED*
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 2 Barbarian: 3981 (Level up at 4000)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +Elfiness!
Tom / Rollo, Level 1 Goblin: 1853 (Level up at 2000)
Fraser / Gehn, Level 1 Specialist (Thief-Doctor): 1253 (Level up at 1500)
Absent or Retired:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, 
Level 7 Barbarian: 76649 (Level up at 128000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)

Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)

James / 
Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)

Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Session 113 - Well Done

Alternate title of this recap was "Friendly Fire". Harr harr. But there's a whole THREE meanings to this week's title, maybe more!

Spooky shit. Near deaths. Fun for all!

I think the fire-down-the-well moment is one of my favourite moments in D&D to date.

This recap's late again, so see you tonight!


Inline images 1
- Lulu, by Ollie

Placard below the version that hangs in the museum
"Lulu and the Death of Unknown Companion c. 1553

Pontormo 1494 - 1555

This picture depicts the yet to be crowned Empress Lulu Gorga holding a dying adventurer in her arms surrounded by her Companions. The identity of the young man is unknown, but is widely believed to Ludovico de Firenze who was part of the group who destroyed the Necromancer King of Death Frost Mountain in around 1550. What is remarkable about of this piece is that it is the first painting commissioned by a Gorgarian monarch. Up to this point, Gorgarian leaders had typically only erected vast statues and monuments to commemorate their military success. More generally, captured artisans, consider far inferior to warrior elites, were often blinded and crippled before being used for archery practice by princelings. In fact Pontormo himself was captured in a Gorgan raid on Venice in 1499 and was only spared a similar fate because his new master, Lord Krog, a vassal king of Lord Gorga Lord of All, was betrothed to Lulu Spiderbite, the Great Gorga''s favourite child, and realised Lulu's interest in the barbarian states of the south might win him favour with his bride to be. Pontormo was presented as a wedding present, and following the Gorgan invasion of England in 1553 he was commissioned to decorate the throne room of the vast palace which was built on the remains of the city of Fate (modern day New Gorga). In the background, being crucified is the Hyper Jesus, however modern academics believe it is in fact Titian, a cotempenary of Pontormo, who was crucified on Sailsbury plane, the year before work on the New Gorga palace was begun. Such acts were the only way slave artisans such as Pontormo could rebel against their overlords without being tortured to death."
- from Ollie


Session 113 - Well Done

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 21 March, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

Enemies Defeated:
- Ten living flame people, doused variously (1000 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Not much?
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- First party to enter the Chateau itself (100 exp)
- Explored 6 areas (120 exp)
- 3 random encounters (150 exp)
Total: 370 exp
New Backstory:- Ludovico was exiled from his town for being a crap doctor and turned to begging. One day a man in strange robes gave him a strange book and it BLEW HIS FUCKING MIND. (+1 Charisma)
- Gastron has a terrifying secret... in his mission to taste every kind of meat in the world, he has tasted the sweet flesh of a child. 
(Once per session, force a morale check by telling people a new horrifying anecdote that actually happened to you)
Events:
- All is well following the trapping of the fire people last week. Zan uses a water glyph and pours water into the furnaces, quenching them. (50 exp)
- Outside, Gastron has realised that the fire person in his bottle has stopped shaking. It must be dying! He uncorks the bottle a liiiiiittle bit... and the creature jumps out! (50 ep)
- It is VERY angry and also burns your stuff when it hits you, creating more of itself. A chef hat, a bunch of receipts, and a bag of peat will go up in flames during the fight. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party jog over as things go to shit. Gastron evades the monsters and jumps down a well to avoid the flame. (50 exp)
- Dante the elf gets smashed into the ground by one of the roaring flame people, but Sophia ghost-blasts it off him. (50 exp)
- Guido strides in to do battle with the flame, but it is too difficult for a skeleton to smash a fire with mere fists. (50 exp)
- Gorund plays his annoying kazoo as he skips away from the battle, drawing many of the flame guys after him! (50 exp)
- Zan runs in with a Make Water glyph drawn on his hands. It's scary and chases one of the fire people away! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim runs in, still wearing forge clothing, with a SUPER EFFECTIVE gambit! He swings a cloth over one of the flame dudes, picks the whole thing up with tongs, and chucks it down the well! (50 exp)
- It surges down the well, burning down the rope and bucket Jumurak and Ludovico have been trying to winch down to Gastron for a while, and... (50 exp)
- It rolls a 20. Gastron is fucked. Right in the face. Burns sweep over him and unconsciousness looms. (50 exp)
- Jim, who didn't realise their was somebody down the well, feels a little guilty. (50 exp)
- The tide turns against the fire people, assailed by multiple ghost beams and water glyph attacks. Soon they are all slain. (50 exp)
- The mission to rescue Gastron begins in earnest! Zan jumps down to heal him while a Gloating Disk is summoned beneath them both, and gloats as it raises him from the depths. (50 exp)
- A ghostly figure has appeared by the well, cranking a ghostly crank and muttering to himself. He speaks Occitan which is unfortunate, but Ludovico's Comprehend Languages combined with a massage breaches the language barrier. (50 exp)
- Some conversation later and he leaves, vanishing into thin air. (50 exp)
- Another ghost shimmers into existence while Gorund checks out the front door, which leans ajar. (50 exp)
- The ghost is walking around with a cleaver, asking if they have seen "zat basterrd oo screwed mah wahf". He's not speaking English of course, so Ludovico attempts to massage him into a better mood. (50 exp)
- IT DOESN'T WORK! Ludovico gets a cleaver to the shoulder, opening him up to the bone! Sophia and Zan, acting quickly and independently, begin casting spells. Unfortunately Sophia's successful Subjugate Dead goes off at the same time as Zan's successful Turn Undead and the now-friendly ghost runs off and vanishes. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, Jumurak is checking out what's down the well. Turns out a bunch of tunnels that lead down deeper... he finds a waterlogged book (in Occitan, annoyingly) but otherwise gives up the well for now. (50 exp)
- Someone peeks through a window and sees a delicious feast! People in there eating delicious food! (50 exp)
- Gorund has entered the house through the big solid oak door, finding a corridor with hanging panels on one side. They depict sexual acts between skeletons, corpses, and people. Sexy. (50 exp)
- The main armory hall is large and well lit, warm light floods through cracked glass, illuminating a few suits of armour (which maybe moves?) and some richly appointed furniture (which doesn't). (50 exp)
- Gorund explores further, seeing occasional spooky things happen. Going through a door, he finds himself in an antechamber. Only real thing of interest is the Ayarai family crest, with Non Omnis Moriar motto. (50 exp)
- Someone behind a door starts banging and shouting for someone to open the door! Gorund does so, and a flustered looking ghost barges out, thanks him, and wanders down the hall (50 exp)
- The rest of the party, following Gorund's path into the building, inspect many of the same things... as the session ends they begin to squeak open the door to the banquet hall... (50 exp)
Total: 1250 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Burns bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco di Panicco dell'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Gorund, Zan, Jumurak, Cranky Jim, Gastron - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Ludovico, Gastron - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Gastron, Dante, Ludovico - 100 exp ea.)

Total: 1050 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None as yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Many close calls, but everyone survived!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 51133 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 38514 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 13103 (Level up at 16000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 31557 (Level up at 35200)
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 7814 (Level up at 12000)
Tom / Ludovico, Level 2 Magic User: 3128 (Level up at 4500)
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 2 Barbarian: 2828 (Level up at 4000)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 2533 (Level up at 3000)
Absent or Retired:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 76649 (Level up at 128000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)

Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)

James / 
Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)

James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)
*DING from afar!* +1d6 HP! Max 36 Rats!Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)

Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human