Session 287 - Last Orders Before Lockdown

If anything, this coming out now shows that I only write the recaps when it's already too late!

This session actually occurred back in August last year, but at least Ynn is a dreamlike garden where old memories linger... or something.

Session 287 - Last Orders Before Lockdown

New Backstory:
- Red is the leader (as she sees it) of the Bunker Buddies, a tight-knit group of good friends!

Valuables:
- Seven jewelled rings. (3500 exp)
- Anti-Stasis Chainmail. Half damage from stasis weapons (like angels use)
- Curse-eating Wand. Stores a curse at a time, casts at a stone's throw range.
- Luck-Twisting Halberd. Activate it on an attack to get a nat 20, but the next attack is always a nat 1.
Total: 3500 exp

Events:

- Deep in the Gardens of Ynn, on a floating garden containing a bubbling corrosive pit, the fabled adventurers Andromeda, Red and Ratman the Ratman stand.
- They are here to find the Goblins who left reality and fled into this perpendicular dimension. Or at least, they might have been. It's hard to know anything when you're this deep into the dream.

--- Empty Robes
- There is another island with a huge stone cube. They approach, and empty floating robes with big pointy ears emerge. They are here to guard the way out. They are here to prevent the escape of the Idea of Thorns. They warned the Goblins, but the Goblins failed to listen, and ran deeper into the Gardens.
- The cube is a house, and has many worldly possessions. The shades care not if it is looted. Ratman finds jewelled rings, Andromeda finds enchanted chainmail, Red finds a wand that eats curses.
- Red, whose head has been locked into a mask, taps it on the mask and releases herself from the curse! Lovely!

--- Goblin-Adjacent Entities
- Several more islands follow, some sort of glowing light from below makes Red's legs mirror and mirror into a spider-form, but she's always been that way. An ape throws a lion cub from a cliff, and it cracks to reveal a halberd with a glistening blade.
- An island covered in rose thorns peels back to reveal Goblins, at last! These have big mushroom ruffs and white eyes. They merge into one, mycelium binding them, and it demands the group join the mind-hive.
- Red blats it with her curse-wand and the mask appears on one of the faces. The creature realises how rude it's being, and invites the party for dinner. They politely decline.
- They leave via a hole in a dodecahedron that widens out into great steps leading down. Time flips and bends. Ratman has loads more rats. Red has two Gifflewim coins now. Andromeda feels her connection to the old reality start to fray.

--- The Unicorn
- A unicorn in bright sunshine, brambles winding around its horn, a message written in thorns on its flank.
- Andromeda reads it, nearly reaches a dark comprehension, and then the thoughts crumble and desaturate as Red uses the curse-wand on the Idea of Thorns. Convenient item!
- Red befriends The Unicorn (first name The, last name Unicorn) because she is, of course, a virgin.
- The Unicorn had seen some Goblins go past! It knows that there's a memetic plague going around, but also that the Goblins have been building a city in reverse down here, they finished building it yesterday.
- The gang hop on The Unicorn for a magical ride to the goblin settlement!

--- Gobolopolis
- The first thing is the screams. The second thing is the graffiti about Thorns. The third thing is all the thorns. Or is that backwards?
- The Unicorn turns at right angles and clops into a house. It's got a big soil bed for growing baby Goblins. Inside there is a really tall Goblin with filigree ears. His name is Squinchopolous, long for Squinch.
- He says the Goblins came into the Gardens to escape persecution, but they came too deep and found the ruins of an ancient Elf civilisation and a dormant memetic virus inimical to sentience and civilisation.
- The virus accelerates plant growth, which is fine for Goblins but absolutely fucks up Hobgoblins. They're the ones screaming. The Goblins themselves can reproduce, so it's kind of fine down here for them.
- Squinch tells the party not to let the curse-wand with the Idea of Thorns in it out into the world. Doing so would risk the fragile civilisation that yet remains up there.

--- Gifflewim
- Red has an idea! She flips one of her Gifflewim coins and he appears!
- He's initially taken aback by being drawn into this other world, but there is a deal to be done!
- Red offers him the Death mask, and in exchange he'll cure the Idea of Thorns. Great idea.
- He takes the mask, Red zaps him with the Idea of Thorns so that he can work out a way to defeat it, and Gifflewim promptly says "Huh, that's a good idea". He puts on the Death mask, and vanishes.
- Andromeda looks at Red with a genuine "oh fuck" expression.

--- Back to Reality
- The Unicorn doesn't quite understand what's going on, but he's quite happy to take the party back up to the doorway into Ynn. Close to the entrance he's just a horse.
- Japhet & Hirsch wave from the garden gate that leads back up and out into New Moondin. Something crazy is going on outside. The sky is going fuzzy, and there's talk of a "lockdown"...

Total: 8000 exp

OOC:
- Remembrancer: Kitty (100 exp)
- Jugbryngyr: 1 each (500 exp ea.)
- Probably some more each (200 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 8 Andromedan Vampire: 183896 (Level up at 288000)
- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 169095 (Level up at 256000)
- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 134617 (Level up at 192000)

Session 286 - Succ’d by the Bus

 

Session 286 - Succ’d by the Bus

New Backstory:
- Kandy Toffee-Apple Moon D'Moor doesn’t regret coming to this world through the mirror. If he could choose, he’d still do it all again.

Foes Defeated:

- A massive Leech-Drake (1000 exp)
- 2 dreams of different natures (2000 exp)
Total: 3000 exp

Events:

--- Ratman Returns!
- Still deep into the gardens, the party are still hanging around the mask display. Suddenly, parachuting from above on a parachute made of clangers, Ratman the Ratman returns! In the dream-state that is the Gardens, he looks rather more cartoonish than normal.
- He lands and takes an unclaimed mask - that of the Crow Doctor. It fits snugly around his snout, grants a bonus to Saves vs Doom, allows him to heal others by harming himself, and erodes his Charisma and Strength. Fair trade!
- They go deeper into the gardens, finding themselves in some smouldering woods that look like a fire went through some days ago. They even meet a huge talking tree-man who is very conscious of copyright law. They get on well, so the big eucalypt-man gives Red a singed koala called Gladys and directions through the woods. Helpful!

--- Leech-Drake
- The woods lead through to a salamander settlement covered with ivy and with great bonfires between the houses. The big axlotl-esque fire lizards are on their rooftops cheering for a great battle to commence!
- The great battle is… a huge rolling leech creature! Its scaly skin is sea-green with blue bands, and it wants to suck their blood! Andromeda realises that this must be the dream-form of one of the party’s most storied foes… the Bus! That huge grub from long years back has returned from their memories!
- Everything gets very video-gamey and meta when a health bar appears and all the combatants do an opening flourish. It goes for Red but she swings up on top of it, while nearby Ratman’s laser rifle detonates as he tries to shoot it! Ferdinand the Bull returns from god knows where and joins the fray too!
- Andromeda summons her god-hammer and dives into its throat, smashing it from the inside,while Ratman sends his swarms to attack it from without. While all this goes on, Kandy stands in a salamander bonfire heating his weapons - he’s immune to the fire due to his magic mask after all.
- After the death of many rats, Andromeda finally bursts out from within the leech-drake’s guts! The salamanders cheer - it was a good show!
- She slurps down some of its gore and has a strange vision of being in a glass room that fills with champagne. When the vision fades she looks down to see that the Bus contained some loot! An airline-size bottle of absinthe, a metal war-fan, and a smoking pipe filled with tobacco!
- Red downs the absinthe, feels a warm glow, and hears the sound of a glass ceiling shattering as the potions’ effects take hold - she’s level 10 for the next couple of hours!

--- Ruins and Dreams
- They move onwards since the way back behind them has faded away. They walk through a mist and find themselves on a floating island above a misty chasm, other islands float a dreamlike distance away covered with ruins. It takes a mere thought to go to another island as they float like leaves on a pond, drifting through these ruins in the depths of the Gardens.
- Moving across an unreal bridge between islands they look down into a pit containing a dream. Kandy reaches out and it reaches back into his head, altering his self and memories to make him remember that he won that mirror through luck and gambling.
- Past the dream they see what it was feeding on at the bottom of the pit - a huddled goblin whose memories are spread out around him in fractal patterns.
- To fight the dream one must make use of memories. Ferdinand the bull reminds Kandy of where they first met, restoring his sense of self somewhat. Red reminds him of what a nice guy he was when he first left the mirror.
- The dream spreads to Red, and they remember the time they gambled the night away. Andromeda is next to receive the dream-memory, the three of them sitting around a gambling table the night the Burning Bush burnt down.
- They’re all losing their grasp of who they are, and so Kandy offers up the crystal elf skull to the dream. Hundreds of years of memory right here! The dream cradles the skull and takes it into the pit to feed, the skull’s screams echoing from the dirt walls.
- They back away and turn to see they’ve reached another island. The pool in the centre hisses and spits, and corrodes to death one of Ratman’s clangers. A sneaking slithering tongue emerges to pierce the dying rat, then slithers forward towards Ratman singing of blood and sacrifice.
- Andromeda loves that shit, so she dives in front of the dream-tongue to take the hit! She remembers how she stabbed Bertha over and over again while kissing her, whispering “blood to blood” into her mouth. She begins to forget who she is again.
- Kandy unleashes a Miracle - the Chill Zone! Everyone chills out, and the dream retreats to the pool to make trippy shapes. Andromeda emerges from the dream and feels Red’s hand on her shoulder. She looks up into Red’s eyes and remembers - they’re the Bunker Buddies!

Total: 6000 exp

Roles:
Remembrancer: Kitty (100 exp)
Expedition Leader: Ollie (100 exp)
Cartographer: Kitty (100 exp)
Paymaster: Izzy (100 exp)

Quartermaster: Ollie (100 exp)
Vanguard: Timothy (100 exp)
Triage: Timothy (100 exp)
Chef: Izzy (100 exp)

OOC:
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus: Tim, Izzy (500 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 8 Andromedan Vampire: 179262 (Level MAX)

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 164561 (Level MAX)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 130083 (Level MAX)

- Ollie / Kandy Toffee-Apple Moon D'Moor, Level 7 Intergalacticist Cleric: 88527 (Level up at 112000)

Session 279 - The Road to Robyn

Ah, the sweet balm of the hex-crawl returns once more!
Following ancient maps from before the End Times, our intrepid crew of explorers makes use of the clear summer days to roll up the main road towards Salisburgh.
Between unexpected rivers, crab-human relations, and a whole mess of resurgent mutant life - not to mention the surprise return of Gifflewim and Jeremy's soul - out heroes had a lot on their plates!
Except for food of course, that would have been too much to ask... 

Session 279 - The Road to Robyn

New Backstory:
- Beepbox had an opportunity to save his ailing father’s life when travelling doctors came to town, but he had to turn them down in order to save schoolful of kids. +2 to hit against creatures you witnessed harming innocents this session.

Supplies:
- 2 Frazzlejack (2 exp)

Events:

--- We’re Going To Need a Big Boat
- With Japhet & Hirsch supplying the party’s overland travel needs, the course is set for the party’s expedition out to Sir Robyn’s tower on the shores of the Lone Sea!
- But first, an aside in service of their next big trip. They order a strange vessel constructed - a ship with skeleton legs that they intend to use as an amphibious vehicle to take them all the way to Dwimmermount.

- The work begins, and the gang head out into the wastes!

--- Pedals to the Metal

- As luck would have it, it’s a nice clear day as they set off into the scoured lands! Jeremy Wizard drives the steed - a horrific spider-like horse skeleton - and pulls the wagon which features two big glaring eyes through which Japhet & Hirsch can view their progress.
- Most of the party stay within the relatively comfortable wagon, while Red rides on top with her rifle at the ready. Jeremy sets a rapid pace, the rugged trail and clear day making it an easy ride.

- They soon reach the main road towards Salisburgh and drive onwards, keeping up the pace. As Kink hives into view in the distance they begin to debate whether to blast through or just drive around. Last time they were here they met demons, after all.
- They compromise by skirting round the outskirts of town… only to remember that Kink is built over a river and has the only bridge for miles. Into town it is, then!

--- Crabs and People
- They cautiously rumble through the streets, seeing movement out of the corner of their eyes down alleyways and between houses. Crabs scuttling out of sight… or is it people?
- They approach the bridge and see that it’s got a load of stoneshell crabs on it, along with a bunch of oddly-attired people. They have big fake pincers on their hands and wiggly fake antennae on their heads, devices they seem to use to communicate with the crabs!
- Red knows some crab-language and uses it to try and get over the bridge, but her words are offensive! After a minor altercation, and a promise that they won’t come back, one of the crab-communicator men persuades the crabbos to let the wagon through. Phew!

--- Old Friends
- They roll onwards, making good use of the long summer daylight. They crunch through some crystals (Jeremy being told to “drive! drive!” out of what can only be dragon-sign), roll past the lovely-looking Samuel who they leave in the dust since he’s a literal demon, and finally stop for the night by the side of the road a mile onwards.
- Red finds a small outcrop of frazzlejack - shallot-like bulbs that grow near fallen angel metal - as she sets up camp. Thoughts turn to food - they didn’t bring much beyond some iron rations Jeremy has stashed away. Better than nothing!
- They settle down for the night, but during Beepbox’s watch he hears a yell! In the pale moonlight he sees a familiar face - Gifflewim! He pelts over the crest of a low hill towards the wagon, umbrella held aloft, chased by a whole lot of stoneshell crabs!
- Beepbox fires a beam rifle warning shot and the crabs turn and flee back from whence they came.
- All the noise has woken the rest of the party, who emerge from their beds to greet the weirdo merchant Elf. Jeremy trades back the Snels USB and some astroturf to get his soul back. Red trades her choker - the only thing she’s ever really owned from Sir Robyn - in exchange for some future boon. Gifflewim gives her one of his coins, which he’s circumspect about giving away these days.
- He agrees to stick with the party if they can drop him off at the camp up the road, they’re completely useless survivalists and easily grifted which is right up his alley.

--- Life Party
- Dawn breaks and the day opens to what looks to be an absolute scorcher. Gifflewim’s umbrella handily ensures that the nearby area has a light summer sprinkle of rain instead, so they head up north to this bad survivalist camp.
- They arrive in good time and see for themselves the effect that the Dharga has had on the local area. If anything, there’s now too much life around here. The sunburnt limbs of the great flesh-tree of Dharga stretch out from the diamond dino-dome, dripping and dropping big blobs of fat flesh that roll down to the lush and lurid sea of life below.
- They ask one of the locals what the fuck this is all about and they say they’re surviving here due to the gifts of the Dharga, feasting upon its off-cuts. A cry goes up from the village as they see a great hairy orb drop from the armpit of a tree-limb and roll across the plains towards them, apparently under its own power. It rips through a few tents as it rumbles to a halt in the village and the locals gather round to shave it, eat it and/or milk it.
- The local they were talking to goes to eat some too, and they see that there’s a horrible burbling second face on the back of their head. Clearly the price of easy life is at least a little bit of mutation...
- Gifflewim recommends that the party not go through there up to Salisburgh - it’s not in a good way as they can see. Instead they should probably off-road it towards the marshes and take up the trail again there.
- Poison Phil takes a rifle from the hands of a man who seems to be mutating into a puddle of flesh and gets on the wagon. It’s time to move on!

--- Heatstroke
- They roll on, heading south-west as per Gifflewim’s recommendation. It’s still really fucking hot,  and without the magic umbrella the heat really starts getting to people. Red is especially affected in her heavy armour. After a few hours of this Jeremy stops the cart - there’s got to be something they can do! He tries out a few runes until he makes an air conditioner for inside the wagon. Much better!
- Jeremy takes them further at a very slow rate to avoid crashing - they’re rumbling over rough terrain now. Red jumps out to get a drink of water as Jeremy steers them past a thin stream and gets a horrible shock when she looks into the depths and sees a faceless face staring back! They move swiftly on.

- They continue through an area rippled like dunes and veined with cracks like shattered glass and settle down as the day turns to dusk.

--- Woodsmoke
- Jeremy Wizard smells woodsmoke during his watch that night and, intrigued, follows it. Amidst swirling woodsmoke he sees a house on stilts and approaches it. A young woman’s voice calls out to him, and he sees her waving from the doorway. He turns and flees back through the smoke, but he can’t find his way out! He’s trapped! He -
-
- He opens his eyes and sees the rest of the party standing around him. Some watchman! But why does he smell of woodsmoke?
- He groggily looks around the campsite - all perfectly fine. Raindrops begin to fall from fat grey clouds overhead. The heatwave has been broken by a summer storm!
- Next time… do they brave the rain on the way to Sir Robyn’s tower?

Total: 7000 exp

Expeditions:
- Expedition Begun!: 500 exp
- Change of Plans: 100 exp
Total: 600 exp

Roles:
Remembrancer: Charles (100 exp)
Triage: Timothy (100 exp)
Vanguard: Ollie (100 exp)
Expedition Leader: George (100 exp)
Cartographer: George (100 exp)
Quartermaster: Ollie (100 exp)
Chef: Izzy (100 exp)
Paymaster: Charles (100 exp)

OOC Bonuses:
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 149033 (Level MAX)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 127133 (Level MAX)

- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 7 Magic-User: 97182 (Level up at 144000)

- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 7 Cleric of the New Eden: 78099 (Level up at 112000)

- George / Poison Phil, Level 2 Fighter: 3121 (Level up at 4000)

Level Up! +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +backstory!

Session 277 - Earthbound

Lockdown in the UK is (perhaps briefly) over, so it's back to the pub - and the Earth - for us!

Bananas, Elves and Nyan-Eleven. What a wild moon finale!

Session 277 - Earthbound

New Backstory:
- Red has a child back on Earth that she left in the care of others - naturally it’s the dino-kids she formed with Dargo! Next character can be your child, starts with half your exp.
- Scarlet Eclipse crashed an Iounian party when he arrived on the moon. Once per session, somehow gain access to a large social event.

Foes:
- Pearly Blob-People (100 exp)
- Quite a few Red Elves (1000 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Moon Clearance Bonus:
- Escaped the Moon! (100 000 exp)
Total: 100 000 exp

Events:

--- Invasion!
- A knock on the door of Shrub-Nigeria’s shack… it’s Andromeda! She’s returned! Covered head to toe in a spacesuit to keep the sun’s light off her vampire body, she’s spent the last five months fixing up the Seraphim so everyone can get home.
- A babble of confusing explanations of what’s been happening on the moon adventure are cut off by Andromeda. Something more pressing is happening - the Red Elves are invading the Moon!
- Outside the windows, a shimmering wave of sparkling explosions presages the rising of a Red Moon on the horizon! Soap bubbles and whimsical shapes hit the Moon’s cratered surface and detonate in bursts of confetti. Scarlet Eclipse is aghast - this isn’t at all what he expected!
- Shrub-Nigeria pulls a curved yellow lever and one of the walls of his shack swings open to reveal weaponry! He tosses a banana with a trigger to Jeremy Wizard and starts handing out banana-guns like SMBs and shotbanana’s to his Highounian mates and the rest of the party. He tells the party to grab his bananacar and get back to Earth while there’s still time, he needs to defend his shack!
- They jump into the bananacar along with Vermillion Vest whose driving skills will come in very handy and Vishnarak the Vibe-Killer who everyone likes for some reason. Vest kicks the car into gear, Beepbox attaches himself to the rear via banana-skis, and everyone else grabs onto the sides. They’re off!

--- Blobs!
- A cat-shaped missile trailing rainbows crashes through Shrub’s Nan’s Granny-Highrise and Vermillion Vest has to race through the slow-falling debris. Nyan Eleven!
- Behind, Shrub’s shack is encased in a smonkscreen of sweet-smelling astroturf smoke. Banana rounds fire from the smoke, bunches of bananas split into multiple banana-warheads, bouncing off most bubbles yet popping several and revealing them to be the landing craft of the Red Elves! The downed Elves fall slowly, returning fire with strange magicks.
- Globs of pearly jelly spatter from the sky in front of the bananacar, forming themselves into shimmering blob-people and attempting to stop the escape! Vermillion Vest skids through a few of them, but others grab onto the rear of the bananacar and fight!

- Red gambits to kick them all off the car and they go tumbling, Beepbox finishes them off by running them down with banana-skis!

--- Elven Bubble-Craft Assault!
- Overhead, a bubble from the shack battle careens past. It rights itself and a portion of the bubble peels back, revealing a Red Elf who zaps Red with a stunning spell! Beepbox engages his jump pack and busts into the bubble with shotbanana drawn.
“You should’ve kept your eyes… peeled!” he shouts as he pumps the banana and… accidentally discharges the ammo backwards. The big peeled banana within slowly drifts downwards outside, exploding in a huge banana-scented explosion that the bananacar jumps through in slo-mo!
- Red, atop the bananacar, swings out the car’s main weapon - a gatling gun made from a big bunch of bananas! “Sorry to burst your bubble” shout Red and Beepbox in unison as they simultaneously blast the bubble walls from within and without!
- The bubble bursts and Beepbox leaps backwards towards the car, firing banana pistols akimbo at the surviving Red Elves.
- Distantly, Iounian monks and hordes of clangers have joined the battle. The Soup Dragon takes up the rear, blasting a column of superheated minestrone at the Red Elf invaders.
- Another bubblecraft has landed ahead, but Beepbox came prepared with a banana bread bazooka. “You’re going to learn to loaf me” he says as he fires, turning away from the explosion that takes out every Red Elf in the impact zone and their bubble-craft too!

--- Shrub Nigeria Finale
- Vermillion Vest ramps the bananacar through the explosion, in midair giving everyone a good view of what’s going down around the Shrub Shack.
- Shrub-Nigeria has gone full eldritch horror, grown into a huge kaiju-scale banana-man whose yellow skin has split into massive yellow tentacles that grasp and destroy all in reach. He wields a massive blunt as a club, its astroturf fumes wreathing the area.
- The bananacar lands and skids to a halt before the entrance to the Seraphim, a full squad of angels standing ready in defence. They run inside and discover that Andromeda did it - the loading screen is on 99.9%! Snels uploads into the mainframe and completes the transfer, taking control of the Seraphim!
- Red tells him about Eris and Dwimmermount and the rest of the recent lore, and Snels agrees to take the party back to Earth. Moon lockdown complete!
- The Seraphim launches and the gang see their last glimpse of the Moon and the massive battle taking place.
- Shrub-Nigeria grabs the Red Moon and begins smashing into it, cracks already appearing on its surface. With a mighty swing he launches the Red Moon upwards, and beams of pure white energy blast into it from the direction of the Earth. Direct hits from the orbiting Gods themselves!
- The Red Moon bleeds bubbles and whimsical shapes, hitting the lunar surface before recovering and retreating into the vast blackness of space. Defeated… for now!

--- Return to New Moondin
- The Snels-Seraphim breaches the atmosphere and drifts serenely down through the clouds, petal-wings opening into a heat shield. As they fall, they can see the world they knew below, albeit somewhat changed in the last few months.
- The enormous Dharga flesh tree grows through a great breach in the diamond dino-dome, blooms of colour and life spreading across the land both outside and within the breach.
- Colonies of white stone seem to mark where Stoneshell Crabs have started to make crustacean habitations, some with survivalist tents set up nearby.
- Closer now, through the Storm-Shell into New Moondin itself. The Seraphim lands in the traditional place astride the remnants of the Creeper Fields, already being somewhat recultivated. In the town below they can see goblin beggars, spider-priests crawling across their electrified web-wires, and a trepidatious crowd that is already gathering to see what the deal with this Seraphim is this time.
- We’ve returned to Earth! Welcome back!

Total: 5000 exp

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 8 Andromedan Vampire: 160140 (Level MAX)
Yosh! Leverrup! +1d6 Healing Pool/HP! +Minimum Faith 8! +Backstory!

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 146012 (Level MAX)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 125512 (Level MAX)

- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 7 Magic-User: 93761 (Level up at 144000)

- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 7 Cleric of the New Eden: 76378 (Level up at 112000)

- George / Scarlet Eclipse, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 52429 (Level up at 72000)

Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! +Backstory! 

Session 276 - Premonitions of a Space War

Potentially the penultimate online session, and Red has finally broken that famous L8 glass ceiling! We're set up for an alien invasion, and George has kindly provided the following soundtrack to get us in the mood: https://youtu.be/5-3D8VitOkA

Session 276 - Premonitions of a Space War

Foes:
- A blue mould zombie guy (100 exp)
- A cavalcade of Dwarf-things (500 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Events:

--- Return to the Anomalous Subsurface Environment
- With the potential real-world return to the pub in sight, the DM has prepared nothing other than a genuinely massive dungeon beneath the lunar surface. It shall have to do!
- Our heroes descend into the dungeon via the friendly robot-controlled Gatehouse and walk down the lengthy set of stairs. They can hear screeching voices ahead… and when they investigate they find a couple of post-evolutionary Dwarves having a shouting match. They are left well enough alone.
- Picking a direction, they head south through the really big hall, through a smaller empty room, and at a junction they discover a broom closet. Exciting stuff.
- One of the corridors leads to a pair of rooms, one which contains some sort of tech-coffin, the other which contains a humanoid figure mostly consumed by bright blue mould. Both have switches, secret doors, and presumably some way to open said secret doors.

--- Corpse A into Slot B
- Obviously the thing to do is to pop the corpse in the coffin and see what happens! What happens next will shock you - the corpse comes into some sort of horrific half-life and comes for the party! After a bit of messing around they slam the door on it and escape.
- Messing about with the switches and the secret doors comes to naught. They continue.

--- I Have One Big Mouth And I Must Constantly Scream

- The next room is large and has overhanging balconies. Very grand. Some clicks and whirrs harbinger an attack from a load of Dwarf-Things which screech from the ceiling! Much damage is taken before Red barges through the next door, everyone gets through, and after a couple of shots into an enraged Dwarf-thing that was trying to push its way through the door is firmly shut.
- Now once more safe-ish, the gang go onwards, safe in the knowledge that if things get hairy Scarlet Eclipse can warp them out of there.

--- The God of Exposition
- They soon stumble into a room with a big matte black surface set into one wall. This is no blackboard - it’s a telly! They try to turn it on, and lo and behold hooded skull-face of the Dead God appears upon it! Against the odds, Scarlet Eclipse quite likes the guy, seeing as he has no illusions about whether he’s artificial.
- The Dead God delivers the spicy exposition we all crave - information on what sort of bullshit’s going to go down when we can finally return to Earth, in-game and out.
- It’s all happening! Red Elves from Mars are coming to Earth, Eris’ absence from the space defence network leaves the world vulnerable, and all this while the world is still in the grip of poison storms! What could go wrong?

Total: 5000 exp

Exp Totals:

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 128345 (Level MAX)
Level MAX: +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble tables! +backstory!

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 107845 (Level MAX)

- George / Scarlet Eclipse, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 34762 (Level up at 36000)